Just got back from Afghanistan, missed you fucks. Shit got hella

You can't shitpost while deployed?

>>34183636
Nope. The wifi was heavily restricted, and I know you would say "just get a VPN, bro" but I have no idea what kind of cyber security they have because I dont keep up with that shit and the possibility of accidentally loading some CP whilst scrolling through /b/ on a government network really turned me away

>>34183660
>>34183628
You've got a TS, don't you?

>>34183628
First deployment?

>>34183733
TS?
>>34183749 Yep it was

>>34183628
>Not using HotSpot Shield and playing COD: Black-Ops on the deployed internet

Pusssssssssyyyy.

>>34183753
Top Secret clearance you fucking pirvate

File: 1478579059761.gif (2MB, 500x209px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x209px

>>34183628
>tfw I streamed porn over the Wi-Fi at Baghram

>>34183773
Those were the days

>>34183733
I have a secret clearance as far as I know. But that wouldn't change the internet policy

File: goodwar-Tz9KNP[1].jpg (54KB, 700x524px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 700x524px

>>34183628
Did you have a good war?

did you throw camel spiders at people?

>>34183628
Do ya still have that distinct smell of burnt shit?

did you have time to draw penis, or read books?

>>34184196
yeah how many dicks did you draw>>34183824

one time I beat my dick right in front of a captain.
shit was cash.

Took a shitload of indirect fire and went outside the wire a couple times but never got to fire my weapon in anger.
Such is life as a POG...

>>34184236

>pog

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

t. SNCO 11C

File: 1486485506182.png (82KB, 238x343px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 238x343px

>>34183628
Bank you four you're Cervix OP ;_;7

Welcome back tho. No deployment stories, asthmatic NEET with vasovagal and severe OCD. I couldn't be military if they were desperate and I signed up begging.

>Get "deployed" to turkey last year
>Sitting innatower on the perimeter during mids shift
>check phone
>oh shit a coup is happening
>turk is sleeping
>sleeps through the entire night without waking up
>steal his beret

>>34184236
>but never got to fire my weapon in anger.
Never underestimate the tactical advantage of letting your enemy waste their ammo without wasting your own.

Sharpied a bunch of dicks inside the firefighter porta shitter

Do burgers speed dick stuff?

>>34184236
Hey I'm a 11B here in Afghanistan, not much better and only slightly less boring.

>>34185493
31b and somewhere in between. Did pick up someone at a checkpoint that warrented a unmarked heilo to pick his ass up but be fucked if I could tell you what he was up to

>>34185911
I'm not gonna lie, I hate MPs here. Especially the check points holy fuck, doesn't help much that they are usually Romanians. If you see a mission vehicle, please leave them alone. They got important shit to be doing...

>>34185979
What the fuck are Romanian MP's doing. ....wait they do realize they are not Russian auxiliary secret police right?

>>34186027
Don't get me started, it's even worse when you have local nationals with you.

>>34185979
>>34186636
Don't get ME started on Local nationals inside the fucking base.
I said I hated that shit from day one.
I said I didn't trust them any farther than I could piss.
That the Taliban's MO is to infiltrate and exploit, yet we have hundreds of Afghans running around base completely unsupervised, doing God knows what.
When you have that shit, you get this

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/suicide-attack-kills-least-4-americans-bagram-airfield-afghanistan-n682866

I was going to be at that 5k

>>34185022
>steal his beret

why the fuck am I laughing so hard

>>34185022
Thank you for your service

>join military
>orientation, gives us uniforms, bags and rifles
>they roll out shitload of crates
>drillboy tells us to drink at least 3 bottles
>what
>after everyone is piss drunk some fuck goes to the door
>tells us to get up and march 6 miles
>afterwards swim 18 miles
>then go target shooting

>>34188358
What army is this?

File: 1445492064853.jpg (268KB, 860x826px) Image search: [Google]

268KB, 860x826px

>>34188358
>afterwards swim 18 miles
>swim 18 miles
>18 miles
When the fuck did we start letting in merfolk?! Next thing you know I'll be expected to let a knife-ear into the platoon!

File: a3f88988b115cb0e47cc4cdab8dea84e.jpg (61KB, 720x450px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 720x450px

>>34188399
NAVSOG, just some Flips fighting MILFS.

>>34188358
1 8 M I L E S

better not get into a naval battle with whoever the fuck this is, they will just swim up to our ships in the middle of the ocean and attach C4 then swim back