Britfag here, what is my best option for staying alive if some

>>34156603
Need a pic of you holding a piece of paper with "34156603" written on it. Jolly old England must be in background. Otherwise, sod off.

> spiderman unrelated

Oh but you see, that is pic is related. Get a Web slinger that shoots "web", or silly string. That's what I did when my brother try to run up to me to beat me up. Of course, circumstances call for some kind of pepper spray in the silly string so the Muslim will stop.


Lol just kidding, no guns equals raped British people and you're fucked.

Chainmail. If you get proper riveted or welded mail with long sleeves you'll increase your survival chances greatly.
Your hands and face would probably be cut to shit but it is quite hard to cut someone to death if you only get at their face and hands, given that they have the ability to resist.

Ask fat Americans who like videogames and have never kissed girls advice about staying alive

>>34156603
#LondonAttacks
Sadiq Khan knew
Police, not like Bobbies of old, they are now armed
No police nearby
Brits left to defend themselves with chairs
Leftist scum invited the jihadis
Civil war is your only chance

Shoot them. .22lr is legal in bongistan and can kill people.

>>34156603
Your best option is electing politicians who will stand up for your right to self defense. Probably not what you wanted to hear but it's the only realistic way.

>>34156674
>Civil war is your only chance
REVOLUTION AGAINST YOUR RETARD GOVT IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIX THIS.
HANG THEM IN THE STREET AND LET IT BE KNOWN PACIFIST APOLOGIST LIBERAL RETARDATION IN FUTURE GOVT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED
RE-CLAIM YOUR NATURAL RIGHT TO DEFEND YOURSELFS AND RULE YOUR OWN LIVES.
AND DEPORT ALL MUSLIM SHITS NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS

>>34156603

run away

throw something at them - cans bottles glasses rocks

>Britbong weapons.
Develop a limp.
Get a walkingstick/cane.

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>>34156841
>picrelated
If you get a spiral one, at least your prostate will enjoy it when you lose the fight

>>34156603
>if some screaming muzzie comes at me with a knife?

Out run him

A chair is great in a knife fight. Keep him away from you. Thrust to his face. A long broom handle is good too as a spear. Some sort of stab vest around your tum tum is a decent idea. Most likely the attacker is going for the soft belly

>>34156603
You want a weapon with longer reach than his knife. Now think about things you could legally carry that can do the job. Also think about training in order to use them.

1. Unbreakable umbrella. Hey, it rains a lot in jolly old.

2. Cane- cops might ask why a fit young man is walking with a cane, however.

3. a backpack with textbooks. Doesn't have extra reach, but it can block a stab (paper is remarkably good for this), and can be swung by the straps (get a durable pack). Think of it as an improvised buckler, and train accordingly.

If you don't care about laws and figure you won't get searched, your options expand. Don't plan on winning a knife fight if he has a machete and you have a four inch locking folder, however. Of course, in your day-to-day activities you'll run into more and more chances to get searched and arrested.

You need to decide on the balance you feel comfortable with. The danger of a cop searching you, versus the danger of being defenseless during an attack.

>>34156921
>Most likely the attacker is going for the soft belly

According to witnesses, they're changing tactics- these attackers were going at people's necks.

>>34156603
suicide is the only option

>>34156603
plastic bag with a coke can inside it, swing that fucker at one of their heads, empty cans can also be fashioned into sharp blades if the need arises

Wear a stab proof vest if you want, or learn to box, and I mean really box until you're hot shit fast

If you can, run as fast as you fucking can, if you can't for any reason, fight like fuck with anything you can get your hands on, if you don't win, you will die.

Shout Allahu snackbar, maybe you'll fool him into thinking you're on the same team and he'll pick a different target.

This >>34156921

Use a chair like a lion tamer in those old movies.

>>34156603
Use bantz for self-defense.

Rule #1 for Jihadi land? Cardio.

>>34156674
>no police nearby

Police shot and killed the attackers within 8 minutes of the first call

>>34159254
>within 8 minutes
fucking clueless twat

Pocket sand op

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>>34159254
>Police shot and killed the attackers
After the ones without guns ran away in abject terror.

OP, just break contact.

CAPTCHA: Bridges

>>34159680
these people drink camel urine
how is sand going to defeat them or slow them down
>pocket full of sand
that sounds uncomfortable as hell
some falls into your shoe
if you sit down, your trousers drool sand
>reaches into pocket
>any self respecting 'Murican would have a 44 mag
>but NOOOoooOOOooo
>courtesy rules in Britania
>you grasp for a fist full of sand and pocket lint
>you throw like a girl anyway, so most of it goes on your own shoulder
>the arab, who entered this world through the sand filled gape of his 7 year old mother is immune to the effects of sand
>half the people around you now have sand in their fucking eyes
>you are responsible for half the easy stabbings because you disabled your own people

>>34159254
>Police shot and killed the attackers within 8 minutes of the first call
Well that saves the UK taxpayer paying to provide them with all the luxuries they could wish for.
Step forward anyone else that wants a double tap I'm sure it'd clean the streets up a bit.

>>34156603
a large stick/bat but you can't miss

>>34160792
Having something like a baseballbat ready specifically for self defence situations is illegal. Only when you pick it up in the heat of the moment as weapon its okay.

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>>34160806
This.
Going equipped its pre-meditative and makes you a baddie.

Accidentally forgetting you have a chainsaw in your car however....

Cutlery and rental cars will be the next thing to be banned.

>>34156603
Chair, tough umbrella etc a good choice if you have warning. Block with items, I used a book once in a fight. Distance is your friend throw something to trip and back away. I knocked down a bar stool to tangle a guys feet when he rushed me with a knife in a bar. It was successful. While he was getting to his feet I hit the road.

Short Bladed weapons are still the goto weapon in melee without firearms. Has been and will be for the foreseeable future. Interesting note guys in bulletproof vests still get successfully stabbed and killed today.

>>34160878
>implying the chainsaw, kitchen knife, bread knife and bicycle wheel you planted beforehand as self defence weapons wont get sweeped by the police

>>34160878
...actually internment is probably high on the list.
That would suck if someone, anyone, doesn't like you.

>>34160895
You could really, really, hurt yourself if you staggered drunkenly into my home.
A and E can testify to this.

Throw crumpets at em

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Pocket sand.

In your backward ass country it maybe the only thing still legal.

cricket bad? I wonder if you could cut shit with a cricket bat if you sharpened if it did cut anything probably would be because of the weight more than anything. you could also stick razor blades in it or something, make it like one of them aztec chopper things.

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>>34156662
That fat American would just shoot the terrorist and go back to eating his burger.

They probably wouldn't even get up.

America is a dangerous place!

>>34161185
I would
I would most definitely shoot the terrorist
Then return to my food and whatever conversation was going on at the time
Yes, the entire table or booth would return to their conversation
I do not drink while carrying, which makes me also the designated driver every time, but I don't mind and my friends trust me.

Use whatever is available at the moment. Turns out human beings are kind of fragile. You just have to be creative at a moments notice.

>>34156603

Get a pair of sap gloves? Suppose they're only really applicable in the winter, but I can't see the court prosecuting you for having them if you used them to beat a terrorist's face into hamburger with them.

>>34159415
THIS...

>>34160878
Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.
>>34160895
Are you telling me the police can just waltz into any britbong's home without permission, a warrant, and notice? Are you telling me England transformed into communist-occupied Germany somewhere along the way?

>>34161185
You're less likely to have anything bad happen to you in America, versus random chavs in Britain where they know you can't legally fight back.