oh shit /k/, norks are raiding your house and you have 5 minutes

Fire up the grill and put some burgers on. I'll share when they surrender.

>>34139711
Cook several bags of minute rice and watch them kill each other over it

>>34139711
Go spend the night at my grandma and lock the dor behind me?

tell them I didn't order any chinese food, maybe it's the neighbor

>>34139711
just let them, they probably need my stuff more then me

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Put my jammies on so I could blend in.

>>34139711
run for my life i am a noguns

/thread, really

>>34139711
hand them a smart phone with internet and westernize them. they'll defect within the hour.

>>34139711

Arm everyone in my house with AKs and Bait them with leftover pizza because I know they are starving.

>>34139711
>pull out all the kimchi
>rice pot to max
>make a bigass beef stir fry
>pray the cooking smell & kimchi distract them because the rice cooker needs 15 minutes

Shit, I've got to learn how to make korean bbq someday.

>throw on tigerstripe cammies
>alice rig
>grab my AR
>holster chinese type 54 tokarev, pretend its a vietnam takeback
>play my Rolling Stones and CCR mix
>hide behind house fern
>LARP as a vietnam soldier even though theyre a commie gook of an entirely different flavor

>>34139711

Call in an f35 strike

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>>34139711
Masturbate

>>34139711
How do you have five minutes to prepare? Did they knock and let you know?

>>34139711
Why are they all firing with their eyes closed?

>>34140562
Knowing how bad F35's are, the airstrike would just as likely hit you.

>>34140796

k bitch

Lay poisoned decoy dog cadavers all over the yard with a sign that say good eatin. Chong Guk Chow! DANGGGG

>>34139711
Affix bayonet and put on all the surplus I have.

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>>34139711
Laugh and film to post webms of it on /k/ later

>>34140324
Do it. Nothing beats some good homemade Korean food during a cold winter. Warning though, you and your house are going to smell like garlic and fish sauce for days.

>>34140784
Asian's eyes are always cloesd.

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Get off my lawn!