Things you can say about your guns, but not your girlfriend

>>34083041
I don't have one.

Its black and italian.

>>34083041
"My friend thought mine was nice, so I let him try it out."

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It will never leave me.

This bitch's got some kick

The thought of shooting her gives me a raging boner.

>>34083041
Most problems can be solved with some fingering

Hitting one from the 1920s with a 2x4 is normal.

This is boring, can we just skip to props?

>>34083041
She's an American that acts Russian, eats Russian food, and is slathered with automotive grease.

It's a royal bitch to pull that trigger and when she goes off, it's kind of a disappointment. No gas leaks though, so that's always cool.

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She's a cheap Chinese slut who I like to beat on.

>>34083041
>The opposite is true
No doggo yet either. REEEEEEE

If I stick my finger in there while in public, people will be scared.

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She lets me do whatever I want to her

>>34083041
Runs just as good dry.

>>34083041
It's Bulgarian and has dick grips.

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Terrible ideas for pranks at the range

you may have seen it going off at columbine. yeah, no butt, all fucked up, cut short, held by some edgy faggot who got shot in the skull.

>>34083148
Putting snap caps in other people's mags.

I can put a silencer on her

Also i can trade my old .44 for a new .2/ and get money back!

I didn't get rid of my guns after they got drinks with Chad.

I use a suppersor when it's too loud.

>>34083148
hold that 500 sideways. nothing bad will happen.

>>34083148
Adjusting a the scope on my 7mm Rem Mag to ensure scope bite and letting other rangegoers give it a try

>>34083148
Shooting someone then having sex with their corpse.

>>34083148
Crashing this range.

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>>34083148
>stealing people's guns when they're not looking

>>34083148
Shout "allah akbar" and suddenly grab a strangers loaded gun of the table.

>>34083148
Pissing on someone while calling them a toilet.

>>34083148
>you don't need earpro, this Barrett is suppressed

>>34083214
Actually did this in highschool, I had to apologise and get counselling.

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All the different Scenes From A Hat topics, and it's always
>Things you can say about your X, but not your girlfriend

>implying i've got guns

>>34083239
>implying /k/ isn't filled with failed normies who turned their energies to guns instead of their social lives

>>34083148
load blanks in your magazine then suddenly turn and shoot at other people

I'll take care of you.

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Drunken confessions of famous weapon designers

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>>34083148
Take someone shooting and give them a mag only loaded with blanks.

>>34083280
Uralvagonzavod: We had a competition on which prototype could toss its turret the furthest on ammunition cookoff; the one that could throw its turret the furthest became the T-72.

>>34083148
>Wait for a stranger to lean over a benchrest to shoot their gun
>Fart in their face.

>Purposely break range rules
>Wait for range officer to shout at you
>Burp in their face.

>>34083280
>John Garand: I made the pings and thumb bite happen on purpose. I hate grunts so god damn much.

>>34083041
She looks really good despite being 109 years old.

>>34083280
>Gaston Glock: Fuck .40 S&W and everyone who uses it

>>34083148
Put rounds with a minimal powder load/only primer in other people's mags when they aren't looking so that if they just think that they had a malfunction and just racked the slide again the gun will blow up in their hands.

>>34083280
>hk G11 team: we got in a bet with Rolex whether their engineers could build better guns than ours could build clocks

>>34083280
You see Ivan, we just say is cleaning gaps so no longer have to make good tolerance.

>>34083280
Maxim: I really don't like people so I made a gun that could kill people faster while getting stupid rich

>>34083280
Kijirō Nambu
>Hahaha I threw together the type 14 for target shooting and actually managed to flog it to the military, then I built the type 94 so it goes off when you squeeze it and the stupid fucks brought that too lol.

>>34083280
>L85 design team: it was an april fools joke

>>34083041
It has a nice butt

she's black and 3D

>>34083148
>stand to the left of your girlfriend wearing the low cut shirt

>>34083280
T-34 Team: We designed the transmission to be extremely hard to operate as a joke

>>34083280
Browning: "the 1911 was a mistake"

>>34083041
My wife knows about them.

>>34083280
>Leon Nagant: Making a revolver that seals the cylinder gap on a revolver is actually a really stupid idea.

>>34083280
Bill Ruger: "I was blackmailed."

>>34083041
The problems stop once you break her in.

>>34083041
"Its works better if you smack it"

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Quick ways to get fired from the ATF

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>>34083645
absolutely wicked

>>34083280
>Samuel Colt: I made my guns complex so negroes can't use them properly

>>34083645
Underrated

>>34083721
save dogs

>>34083721
>Can we all just agree that changing our mind about idea that shouldering a brace turns into an SBR repeatedly is kinda dumb?

>>34083721
Walk past the animal shelter

always faithful

>>34083041
>Takes hot loads in chamber silently unless we are banging.

>Will eat from the ground and upside-down

>Blows my loads out her hole while friends and family are around

>>34083148
Gasoline in barrel

>>34083280
"I put more than one .45ACP rounds in that there hole and I do not intend to dig em out." - John Browning

>>34083721
>Putting "ATF" bumper stickers on employees cars.

>Not sacrificing a doggo to moloch in the backyard on the 4th of July.

>>34083168
Remember to steady the cylinder with the left hand.

>>34083041

It's reliable.

>>34083041
The more I feed her, the thinner she gets

>>34083041

I have several.

>>34083041
>fun

>>34083041
The government is more interested in what I do with her than I am.

>>34083041
Young Italian boy, has punched me in the face.

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>>34083645
breddy gud

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>>34083041
>They exist
>They will never leave me
>I love them

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>>34083645

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Fat, tempermental, picky about food, doesn't like weak faggots, high maintenance and expensive af...

>>34083041
>she's slender and loves getting roughed up.

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>>34083124
>Chinese
>Posts Yugo

>>34083041
>S&W 64, stainless steel
It's not black.

>>34083104
Not an American AK? RAS?

>>34083721
Bring a box of puppies to the office.

>>34083070
You motherfucker

>>34083041
>Hard mode: Not "I have one"
I have 24

>>34083280
Eugene stoner:
I do not support the Vietnam conflict and those boys are coming home, dead or alive

>>34083300
>Take someone shooting and give them a mag *supposedly* only loaded with blanks