> you get teleported to the middle of a battle between the

I have a gun near me but no melee weapon.

wat do

>>33973958
I have a fork. Not well I'm gonna say.

>>33973974
Gotta use it as a bludgeoning weapon, bullets can't travel through time. Jesus do I have to explain this every time.

>>33973958
can I try to make peace?

>>33973958
I got a hunting knife and a homemade rebar club.

>Hurley stick

GAEL'D

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All I'm wearing is a Feel Good t-shirt. Nothing else. Upside, I have my machete.

>>33973958

I have a KA-Bar and several pens.

>my xootr
I'll be fine.

Big ass crowbar.
As a weapon it could work.
As for me, I'm fucked. Plus I'm naked.

Glasses, gym shorts with no undies(LOOSE wasteline) and a bokun I got from my artist friend.

I'll be fine.

>>33973958
nearest blunt instrument is a tie between my Mossberg and a hammer.

I'll go with the mossberg.

I have a shitty windlass arming sword on my floor.

It's funny to think that the technology is 1000 years ahead of them and it's only slightly longer and harder.

>>33974031
> xootr
Can't stop laughing at image of a random dude scootering away in the middle of a battle in the Germanic forrest.

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Completely naked except for a pair of socks. Tomahawk

Currently wearing boxers and I've got my vape. How long before they realize I don't actually breathe fire?

>>33973958
I got a yellow plastic baseball bat

>>33973958
I have a small dagger I use as a letter opener. It's a good dagger and could easily be concealed beneath a toga, but I'm feeling a little insecure amidst the larger gladii and longswords.

I think I'm going to run towards the Roman screaming whatever Latin phrases come to mind while praying they don't mark me as a German for my dirty blond hair. Shit, my dad is from Pennsylvania and I get snippy when served watery sauerkraut. I practically am a German and quite fucked.

>>33974099
They'll find out you're gay first

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>>33974099
Haha, you've just got to believe you're a dragon for as long as you can.

>>33973958

Collapsible baton it is

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>>33974112
So was the Romans actually the master race?

>Clothes
Rugby shorts, flannel shirt, tshirt and wool socks.
>Weapon
A guitar

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>>33973958
>you only have what you're wearing now
Boxers and a free REI shirt
>closest melee weapon
A 3 foot wood carved dolphin

I'm going to be the next mother fucking Caesar

>>33974197
HALIBUT INVICTA!

I'm naked with a macate.
I'd fit in if I wasn't a big fat sweaty mexican.

>>33973958
I've got an axe and chrome gym shorts, I'm 6 foot tall, blonde, and have an unkempt beard.

I'm just gonna yell WOTAN and try to die cleanly.

White crew socks and a grey t-shirt and boxers.
Closest Melee weapon is a bowie knife.

I'm OK with this.

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>>33973958
Join the Germanic tribes carrying my Albion Senlac. Both Romans and Germanics are awestruck since neither have seen such a long sword before.

>boxer briefs
>pen
might work

I'm wearing boxers and a wife-beater and I've got a Spyderco Tenacious

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Nothing and nothing
>mfw

>>33974261
You know what they say about pen and swords.

>>33973958
>jeans
>no shoes
>t shirt
>mora knife
Pretty fucked m80

>>33974197
>>33974251
>awestruck since neither have seen such a long sword before
implying you can defeat my long Mahi

>>33973958

Boxers and a t-shirt. One of those old-school Maglites that takes 4 D-cells like cops used to (do they still?) carry around.

If I could muster an erection I think I'd be okay but I just fapped like an hour ago so I dunno

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>>33974251
Go two hander or go home.

>>33973958
>>33973999
My gun has bullets in it because it always does and I don't care about your made up physics.
>I account for fifteen of them and then die while trying to beat the closest soldier to death with the firearm because I was overconfident in my killing ability after downing fifteen men by firing randomly into the crowd.

Jeans, Black Sabbath t shirt, and Chucks. Joining the Romans with a baseball bat. Not looking good for me.

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>>33973958
I have a gladius on my wall. I still wouldn't want to be there. I'm 6'5 Id be a freak.

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Well fuck.

Sweat pants + tshirt

Cherusker Messer LLC Magnum.

Yeah, I'm pretty fucked.

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Is stabbing myself in the neck feasible?

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Pretty well I'd say.

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>>33973958
Am i fucked?

>>33974564
Quickly take the razors and cut your wrist. Before you get chopped to all fuck.

>>33973958
>In just boxers
>Have an AK bayo next to my computer

Lego

-white t-shirt
-shorts
-tomahawk
-buckler

Not too bad actually

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>>33973958
>naked
>AR pistol in 6.5 creedmoor

>>33973958
I'm literally naked and talking a shit

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>>33974578
But it's a safety razor anon.

wearing a towel and have a wulflund english falchion nearby. Guess I'm with the Germans...I'll probably die rapidly, hopefully quickly.

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>>33973958
>plastic fork that I ate left-over pasta with
>6'4 lanklet
If the fork doesn't count I have my AK bayonet about 4 feet away from me.

>>33974623
Then shreek!! Shreek like you've never shrieked before!! Maybe they'll take pity on the naked wet man baby shrieking it's head off.

>>33973958

> undershorts and a pocket knife

Yeah, fuck me, right?

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>>33974753

I have a big pointy stick and my pajamas.
Maybe I can hide under the bodies.

>>33973958
A pillow or a plastic cup, of a tablet.....I'm screwed

>>33974548
yeah but how many times was it folded

>>33973958
>5'8" manlet fatass
>~4.5" hunting knife
>pajamas
I stab exactly one German before I get my ass impaled.

>>33974612
>he doesn't take a weapon to the bathroom

>t-shirt and mesh shorts
>a heavy maglite flashlight
Maybe the Romans will be too amused by the strange yellow man running at them and screaming romanes eunt domus to kill me on the spot.

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>>33973958
I'm naked and I only have a scale for weighting babies.
That should do the trick

>>33974950
guess i'm not the only one who takes a gun into the bathroom with him in his own house

feels good to be normal

Jeans and sock

I have table

> Model 1860 Cavalry Saber
> Cargo pants and a dress shirt
Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant!

>>33974982
I take a knife because noguns. Still.

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>>33973958
I am wearing a t shirt and cargo shorts and there is a fork next to me, the Romans are gonna eat my ass

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>naked
>either fransisca or wooden knobstick/ball club i made last year
Would blend in pretty well.

>>33973958
>Army PT shorts and a track slinget
>Mosin with bayonet
>dark hair, dark eyes, white guy

I could pass as a man if the Empire, running up to the legion yelling "Salvete" to show I'm a friend. My Mosin could easily be a spear so I figure that if accepted somewhere in the Roman formation I could at least survive.

>>33973958
>Shirtless in shorts
>Cat nail trimming scissors
Fucked

ABUs
M7 bayonet or M56 E-tool.....

Hold your tongue, profligate

Gym shorts and a t shirt. I do have a tomahawk and a large sheath knife. I could be more fucked I guess.

>>33974610
>6.5 creedmoor
>pistol
For what purpose?

>>33973958
I have a 12 lb sledgehammer. I think I'll do fairly well before they cut my face off

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>>33973958
a towel and a old t shirt for a head towel
Closest melee object is a handle-less small ice pick

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Can a car be a melee weapon

>>33975338
Only to CIA niggers

>>33975338
Can a house?

>>33973958
>Literally sitting in my kitchen eating peanut butter while wearing nothing but my underwear, socks, and sandals

I guess I get a spoon

Maybe I can convince them I'm just a fat roman because I'm wearing sandals before dying horribly

>>33973958
I'm wearing short shorts and a t-shirt. My closest weapon is a pocket knife. I'm probably fucked unless I can scavenge a blade when I get there.

>>33975183
Pretty much me but I am a definitely more Germanic looking. Maybe I could autistically shout at the Germans until they believe I am one of them, or just try my best to skewer someone from either side before getting my guts spilled.

A t-shirt, cargo shorts and an american flag.

>>33975354
Glow in the dark CIA niggers.

>>33973958
>basket ball shorts and socks
>my Case folding knife.
guess ill die

>>33973958
Pajamas and a red t-shirt, Im not totally fucked though because I have my bedside machete

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6'5 guy in decent shape wearing a blue chambray collared shirt, khakis, and no shoes, wielding a plastic bottle of grapefruit juice.

Hopefully I could squirt someone in the eye before they either pulled my guts out with a gladius or cut an arm and shoulder off with a German longsword.

Unless dogs count as melee weapons, then I'd have two (very gentle and spoiled) dobermans with me, pic related.

>>33973958
Have fire axe leaning against my door. Also have swiss army knife in my pocket. Guess my edc fucked me good.
Get teleported into battle with jeans, a tiny knife, and no shoes.

A long handled mop.

I might make it. Use my lighter to light it up and I've got a torch.
I just hope the janitor didn't choose this month to mop the floor.

Waffle thermal, jeans, and boots.
I have a maglite.
Do I have to fight, can't I run or crawl away or something?

im in my boxers and have the bone of a pork chop next to me. Am I dead

Jeans and a t-shirt

A six foot piece of metal conduit.

I'm gonna live!

>Right up until Claudius Maximus stabs me with his giant pig sticker.

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>>33973958
>closest melee weapon with you

>>33973999

>gunpowder didn't exist back then

>>33976119
>implying gunpowder is real

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>>33973958
15 inches steel fryingpan for a shields, alumínun pan for a helmet as a tipical brazilian manchete for a weapon

>>33973958
Underwear and a pocket knife. I'm fucked unless I can pick up a sword off a dead body.

>>33973958
>Metal pitchfork
I might be okay... until it falls off the handle

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RIP

>>33973958
I'm in my underpants and have a bread knife near me.

I'm dead.

>>33973958
>Underwear.
>Gladius on my display shelf.
Start running away towards the German side yelling the few German words I know, hopefully I'm able to escape the battle and keep running.

Anybody with a chainsaw?

PJ's and a Maglite. Guess I'll hope it's nighttime so I can bedazzle them.

>>33976015
It seems like the fact that you even have footwear puts you ahead of a lot of people in this thread.

I'm in shorts and a t-shirt, and I have my computer desk tomahawk next to me. I guess I'll shout to Valhalla and take a pilum to the dick unless all that dodgeball in high school paid off.

Naked with a lamp. Could be worse I guess.

>>33976362
>to Valhala
>germans
>pilum

ya.

>>33973958
>Sleeping clothes, which are running shorts and a cutoff shirt

>A fucking backscratcher

I may be the most fucked in this thread

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>>33973958
>Nude
>Sinclair Cardsharp

Well it's been fun, lads.

Got jeans, t shirt and my good old rolling block in 20 gauge, got 3 shells next to it so I'm probably dead

>>33974373
>I'm 6'5
>have a gladius on my wall
>wouldn't want to be there

Anon, your mind is your only weakness.

My pyjamas and a soviet army shovel

>>33974112
when your from Pennsylvania and your practically just all the Germans.

I have a collection of multi-tools and pocket knives, so I'm probably just gonna end up getting stabbed.

I've got a tire iron. I'm short and red haired. So I guess strip naked and start shouting the first Gaelic or Celtic phrase I can recall while doing my best to foam at the mouth and swing wildly.

>>33974119
damn

>>33973958
Bathrobe and shorts with a ~3" knife. I'm fucked.

>Bundeswehr shorts
>Strike Witches Merchandise t-shirt
>east german AK bayonet

I'll die soon but will forever be remembered as the weeaboo ghost of the teutoburg forest.

>>33973958
Scrubs and a spatula. I'm fucked

>>33973958
butt naked with a 12" dragon dildo. im fucked

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>>33973958

>melee
:(

k let's see
>Batman shirt
>jeans
>no shoes
>...pic related

WE COME FROM THE LAND OF THE ICE AND SNOW

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Jeans and shirt with a 4 inch butterfly knife

Forget it OP I'm a gonner

>>33973958
>Tracksuit pants
>t-shirt
>A dane axe

I think 'well' is probably going to be a subjective thing

>>33973958
im a german and i was chopping wood so i would say

remove SPQR

>run towards Roman lines yelling "non est me"
>explain that I aint no senator's son

>>33973958
Jeans, a sweatshirt, and a can of Mike's hardER lemonade. Bring it.

>>33973958
leatherman OHT, oh boy.

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>>33973958
Considering people were considerably smaller back then...

>suddenly a 6'3 220lb giant appears in the middle of battle
>dressed in the magic pantaloons of Kha-Ki
>and under cloth of the very fruits of the loom
>two mirrors over each eye- spectacles that peer into the souls of man
>in his clutch an impossibly light metal club, marked with the name of Easton

I'd stand out so much they'd probably ignore me until the fight was done. Thankfully I can read and right latin so I'd make up some shit about being the half child of Mercury bearing news of what's to come.

>>33973958
I've got germanic heritage, a knife, and a t-shirt and jeans. Honestly that's probably about as much armaments and more clothing than a germanic tribesman would be wearing.

A beanie, hoodie, black t-shirt and pants with belt. (Shoes obviously)

As far as melee weapons go, I've got my belt, laptop, my bag, and a corded mouse.

I'm thinking I'd bring my phone and hope to God there's some sort of Latin translator built in.

That or I'd just run away.

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>>33980001
nice

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>>33973958

have a sarmatian qama and wicker shield on my wall, but am wearing shorts, sandals and no shirt. how fucked am i /k/ ?


pic related

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>>33980059

>>33973958
Im in running shorts and the closest thing to me is a butterknife, which is sad because my bow and arrows are only a few feet further...butterknife it is

>>33974890
Kek

>>33973958
I have an m44 mosin so i guess im fine

Jeans, t-shirt, high visibility vest
Either a golf club, 8inch crowbar, hedge clippers or jumper cables for weapon.

why is everybody on /k/ naked

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>>33980142

Jeans, tee-shirt, shoes, loaded ar-15 with bayo and extra mag on the stock.

I will live for about 5 mins till I run out of ammo.

Shorts & t-shirt and a staff. If I loot a sword off of one of the dead guys, I'd be mostly ok. My 6'3" Germano-Nordo-Sino-Greco-Franco-Italo-Anglo-Scot self would fit in pretty well with the Germans. No shoes, but that's never stopped me before.

>>33973958
I have an ax. Can't say this will go all that well, as it is a tool not a weapon.

But fuck barbarians, lets try.

>>33980256
And I'm wearing jeans and a plaid dress shirt.

>>33980242
In about 4-5 months, that 6'3" will be more around 6'6"-6'8". My family breeds 'em tall.

Batman pajamas, Hanes t-shirt, no shoes; tomahawk with solid-forged head and ballistic fiberglass handle. Guess I'm joining the Germans. I'll find another axe at my convenience.

Naked with a hatchet. Can't speak the languages.
Probably pretty fucked.

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>>33979841
Criminally underrated

>>33973958
My guitar. LET'S DO THIS.

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I'll be alright

my Austrian "Babemelter" PT shorts and a Seax

Teutoberg Forest NOW

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>>33980893
https://youtu.be/7lwLr8zAwm4

>adidas pants
>no shirt
>no shoes
>grab my hat tho as i feel the portal open
>use fal in my lap as spear

>>33973958
tight jeans (tight groupings, nigga) & genuine russian telnyashka. dark blue stripes, navy model. barefoot.

I am guessing my Dell laptop counts as melee weapon?

on zhe pluß side, I speaks german.

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I'd probably still die, but at least I have something.