>tfw Russian Army takes foreigners >tfw wanna join >tfw

>>33898203
>wants to join russian army
>doesnt want to be raped

fuck off hohol

>>33898203
why post german police gif?

that's just part of the deal, accept it and do some anal training first or don't join

the USMC is only marginally less gay anyway

>>33898203

Never volunteer first or last

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>>33898235
USMC is the most gay
>>33898234
Thought it was russian

>>33898203
Motorized fag here
Don't worry we only rape orderlies at thuesdays

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>>33898733
Orderlies are fuckboys anyway
>>33898264
The cash is decent and i got a chance to be deployed.

>>33898203
VDV reconnaissance here
We only rape motorized fags every day

>>33898963
VEH DEH VEH

>>33898963
unironically the scout guys are the ones who beat the motorized guys time to time especially the dembels.

>>33899023
Why is that?

>>33899072
in the russian army what determinates your place in the hierarchy is how long you have been serving (officers excluded ofc) the ones who serving for a long time call themselfs elders or dembels and the scout often drafted from these guys

>>33899158
You can be a frickin sergeant and still get your mouth smacked by a dembel corporal and you can do nothing about it because i tell you the officers don't really care
Sometimes they do it too

>>33899158
Russian millitary sounds like a prison.
It kinda is a prison.
I am gonna have to beat the biggest guy in there.

>>33898203
>wanting to join an army in general
>not wanting to get raped

They'll get you in the ass someway or another.

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>>33898203
>tfw born in a country lucky enough to not speak such a disgusting "language" as Russian

>>33899225
Yeah but they rape you especially in russia

>>33899228
>Russian is disguistin-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4gP7SK8nGg

>>33899198
Fortunetly my CO "Mukha" is a hard ass motherfucker so they don't dare to fuck with his squad
And since the military reform it dosen't happen that often

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>>33899291
>tfw Russian is still one of the worst things you experience even when everything else around you is highly radioactive and trying to end your life

>>33898203
> don't wanna get raped
Ok, we can arrange that. But the alternative to skipping rape, is to take the "purposeful mental and physical abuse into suicide" option.

>tfw dodged conscription with f64.0 :^)

I know you basically just have to speak fluent Russian and have a clean criminal record, but what are the other requirements?
Weight requirements?
What's the physical fitness exam like?
Do they offer any incentives/benefits?

>>33899198
if you have friends who will bomb the officer's family then you might be alright, otherwise it's risky business

>>33899426
don't know about the requirements but you get the same shit like us, 30,000 rubles salary (500$) and after 5 year of service an apartment (pretty comfy) and ofc a citizenship

>>33899474
The apartment sounds kinda comfy,drinking vodka with gopniks in a shitty gray apartment block.
And the cash is decent in my country's currency.

>>33899620
Just watch out for your shit because there's a couple shithead who steals everything what they can get their hands on and sell in town for vodka.
One guy stole a emergency generator from the basement.

>>33899474
Does the foreign legion operate independently, or are they integrated with regular units? Do you get any choice of which branch you want to enlist in?

>>33898203
Gotta learn Russian m8
kinda hard, but it's a fun language.
The Russian people are great tho, you could get a real QT Russian gf too

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>>33899693
No it doesn't operate independently.
You get integrated into regular units.
Depending how well you do in your testing you can get in a good unit.
Think you can get into Spetsnaz if you are REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD.

>>33899474
> you get the same shit like us, 30,000 rubles salary (500$)
>(500$)

Jesus christ, you make more than that just going door to door mowing lawns in the states during the summer. What kind of purchasing power does that get you in Russia? It can't be much?

>>33898203
>tfw also thinking of joining
>tfw got a really really tight asshole
>like if i take too big of a shit it burns like hell
>tfw some big dicked Russian is gonna tear my ass apart

Some gay guy told me I had nice skin and a cute face also, how bad would I get it? Like I think it would be interesting to join because I speak near perfect Russian it's almost like a second language to me but I'm scared of my ass getting opened up by a bunch big dicked sex starved ruskie's

>>33899833
Im curious of the exchange rate too.

>>33899840
How'd you learn. Parent or relative native?

>>33899833
someone answer this

>>33899744
Good like how? Shooting? I know back in Afghanistan all the shitheads got sent to Spetsnaz, because that was the easiest way for officers to get rid of them. Just recommend them for Spetsnaz lmao.

Are you able to choose between, say, VDV or Motorized? Or do you just get assigned where they want you?

>>33899833
Its a shit salary , but you snack (warm food 3 times a day), shit and sleep at the base. Also higher ranks pays much more. It could be worse a conscript private gets 5000 rubel per month (85 $). I also sell some of my own issued gear for good money.

>>33899871
My grandpa emigrated from Russia to the UK, when I was a kid we all lived in his house and he would only ever speak Russian to me and he spoke it to me when I was a baby. So like English it just sort of came naturally.

>>33899935
based grandpa

>>33899931
That's terrible man, in comparison an American soldier get's payed 1800 dollars a month, and a British soldier get's payed 2300 dollars a month at entry level.

>>33899474
Is that a week? Christ, maybe if it was that much a day...

But the cell, sorry 'apartment' in one of your excellent communist block era high rises just sounds great.
I can't wait to buy my first set of mismatched bedding and disgusting bet curtains.

>>33899840
post face

>>33899931
But how cheap are basic amenities.

>>33899973
well soldiers do nothing special
t.it dude from moscow with 4500$ month and 0.25$ per post

>>33899992
Bread costs around like 35 rubels, milk is like 50 rubel. If you want eat some crap at McDonalds it will costa around like 300 rubel.

>>33899991
you'd just jerk of to it

>>33900053
Neat, thanks for info.

Anyone know how the pay in the FFL compares to Russia?

>>33900053
Damn, exchange rates are insane 1 USD equals to about 58 rubles.

>>33899871
Learn what? Getting his ass torn or learning Russian?

>>33900084
>French citizenship over Russian

>>33900103
The Russian method of ass tear ffs.

>>33899987
*net

>>33900104
And? Russian is barely first world, I see know reason to want to live there unless you're really into institutionalised corruption, huge murder rates, an HIV epidemic and alcoholism.

>>33900148
refugees over gopniks

Everyone has their preferences

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>>33899914
I don't know.Just be really good at all the tests i guess.
The VDV doesn't take foreigners.
They assign you where they want you depending on how well you do.
>>33900084
Lowest rank is 1400 euro.

>>33900159
Does the VDV accept foreigners who have obtained citizenship through service?

What's the pay like for FSB, MVD, HOMO, etc? Is it easy to work for them with 5 years of service on your resume?

>>33900232
Yes i think so VDV accepts everyone with citizenship
OMON dosen't exist anymore,MVD is the ministry of internal affairs i don't think you could get into there, for FSB you need to go to the FSB academy (Aкaдeмия фeдepaльнoй cлyжбы бeзoпacнocти Poccийcкoй Фeдepaции)

>>33900259
and to add only the relatives of siloviki get into the FSB academy

>>33900259
What would I be doing for most of my 5 years? Shooting хoхoл?

>>33900292
Its the same as in the US military just more Vodka and beatings, if you get to station in a living hell like chechnya, ingushetia, south ossetia or dagestan then its a whole different story but i don't think the foreigners get to go there.

>>33900394
Fuck. I wanted to go to Chechnya.
>Terrorists have taken local villagers hostage in house
>RPG the house

>>33900232
>5 years of service on your resume
>babby thinks Rushedshit is anything like the west
topkek. there are fucking phds waiting tables here in my city on visas because Russia/caucus is that shit

Anybody here know if Russian navy (specially naval infantry) takes foreigners?

Read "One Soldiers war" by Arkady Babchenko. It's about the Chechnyan War and the conditions for Russian soldiers.

>>33900855
That was between 17 and 20 years ago
Things change

>not wanting gay sex with hot, big, muscular Slavic men

god damn do I want them to abuse me

Enjoy the Dedovshchina faget.

>>33900960
Only 1 of 1000 is an actual muscular man. Skinny cunts mostly everywhere.

>>33901053
That's most militaries, even US. Especially infantry, usually the ones who aren't infantry(POG) are buff because they have a lot of time and energy in their hands.

>>33900822
Literally why? Have you read this thread at all? Life in the Russian military and even just in regular Russia sounds fucking terrible. Where do you live now that is worse in Russia? Afghanistan?

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>>33898203
Take appropriate precautions.

>>33900822
Of all the branches in the Russian military, why would you want to be in the objective worst one?

>>33899228

probably a nigger spic. russian is a great language

How come all these anti-gay countries like Russia and Turkey can justify raping another man but somehow two consensual men having sex is an utter sin and they should be executed. What kind of mindset do these subhumans have?

>>33901979
the same mindset as the greeks and roman

it ain't gay if it ain't love, and it ain't gay if you're not on the receiving end

>>33902544
The Greek mindset was only really that it wasn't gay as long as you didn't receive, but if you received you were not a man
Sacred band of Thebes were all gay lovers and they were respected as being unbreakable