So what does a British Army soldier actually do now that we're

http://www.army.mod.uk/operations-deployments/operations-deployments.aspx

>>33798830
If you want to stay busy then join the navy, they are crying out for engineers right now since they cannot retain them.

>>33798830
how come these bintz have 2 id cards?

1. Fuck about with JPA
2. Fuck about with the other IT system thing
3. Get fucked about
4. Fuck the lads about
5. Fuck the boss off
6. Whatever the boss fancies doing that day, which is always the above
7. "Adventure training", which seems to exist solely to provide YOs an opportunity to plan ski holidays when most of the lads aren't remotely interested and would prefer to go to Magaluf or Krakow and practice their drinking
8. Show up to concentration events, only to find out that everyone stood at the front row or in view of the cameras is a minority/woman despite everyone in his unit being white and male
9. Get roped into being DS for various courses and selection procedures
10. Be on a biff chit
11. Be expected to acquire random bits of kit privately, chop up issued equipment, iron combats and polish rubber
12. Fill out paperwork
13. Steal fuel
14. Be convicted of JPA fraud after monging the system
15. Drink beer, unless in the company of anyone outlined in #8 when it is expressly forbidden.
16. PAYD
17. Ask why the Reserves get to go to Kenya/PNG/Belize when the Reg counterpart gets to go to Belgium, despite being on the same role
18. Get bollocked for asking #17
19. Laugh at a full Colonel who makes an idiotic presentation about Ukraine, has a Reservist Lance Jack point out an error, blow up in face of said Reservist, only to be informed that said Reservist is an International Relations professor at a Russell Group university, speaks Ukrainian and Russian and had worked for the FCO in Ukraine for two years.
20. Despite all of the above, carry on because it beats most other jobs for the money

>>33799810
how do you feel about the bong food?

>>33799810
>19. Laugh at a full Colonel who makes an idiotic presentation about Ukraine, has a Reservist Lance Jack point out an error, blow up in face of said Reservist, only to be informed that said Reservist is an International Relations professor at a Russell Group university, speaks Ukrainian and Russian and had worked for the FCO in Ukraine for two years.
I would have paid to be there for that.

>>33799829
Varies place on place. Some of it can be decent, others terrible. There's really too much variation and the tendency toward private contractors isn't a popular one.

>>33799810
kek

>>33799778
How shit is it?
Have genuinely been considering applying to be an engineering officer

>>33799878
You will be worked to death but will get excellent qualifications and skills that civvie street is begging for, get qualified to stand watch and you can tell the navy to fuck off as you laugh your way to the bank.

>>33799810

You missed out bullshit exercises and TEWTs.

And having to deal with fucking Gunners.

Literally best thing I've done in the last six months was help out on a Reserve exercise where I did nothing but drink tea and read my new book.

Got to love fucking the lads about, though.

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>The 4chan generation are becoming sncos

>>33800017
>the 4chan generation ALREADY IS officer candidates shitposting in university

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>>33800017
>>33800115
Shit, they're onto me.

>>33798830
>what does a British Army soldier actually do now
Ask on arrse.co.uk

>>33799810
>19. Laugh at a full Colonel who makes an idiotic presentation about Ukraine, has a Reservist Lance Jack point out an error, blow up in face of said Reservist, only to be informed that said Reservist is an International Relations professor at a Russell Group university, speaks Ukrainian and Russian and had worked for the FCO in Ukraine for two years.

LOL

The fucking air in that room must have been tight.

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>>33800206

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>>33800197

>>33799789
One to get in the gate, another for the officers raffle bowl

>>33800285
Oh christ, imagine being the poor rupert with the heifer at the end...

>>33800566
The Trunchbull there is probably a lesbian.

>>33800115
this, but there is also some enlisted scum around
t. officer

>>33800693
I have never met an officer that could repair a water desalination plant or strip down and rebuild an electrical panel, the tech specialists tend to be NCO's.

>>33800745
Oh language differences, I mean everything below OR-4 is scum

>>33800619
Depends how long hes been on, he could just be glad shes got a pulse

>>33799778
Wasn't there something about BritBong ships getting USCG engineer dudes because of a shortage?

>>33800837
I have not heard about that but exchanges have been a common thing for a while now, the US Navy even has a permanent RN Officer aboard one of its warships and she flies our flag, /k/ likes to spew bullshit but the reality is our armed forces are about as close as you can get.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Winston_S._Churchill

>>33800876
>american navy so cucked that they L I T E R A L L Y fly another nations ensign on their ship

fucking KEK you cannot make this shit up

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>>33800899
It is not cucked to train with other nations and share experiences.

>>33800918
There's a difference between cross-nation training and LITERALLY flying a foreign flag over your military vessel.

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>>33800938
Who gives a fuck? Shit like that happens all the time as a sign of respect, something you seem to have no concept of.

>>33800876
I don't know about the credibility of the DailyMail ( I know they're big) but here's the article I read a while back.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2781457/Defence-cuts-leave-Royal-Navy-short-personnel-borrow-engineers-US-Coast-Guard.html

>>33800994
Its not massively surprising or even a real problem, the Navy was having difficulty recruiting from 2013-2015 and that caused a skills shortage, it didn't have anything to do with cuts, it was caused by difficulty recruiting people, Daily Mail relies on running clickbait stories for little englanders to wank themselves into a fury over

>>33800994
The daily mail is click bait bullshit that mixes the truth with lies. That article says that only 36 Americans would be assisting the Royal Navy which is next to nothing, they also cite budget cuts for the lack of engineers but the truth is there is no shortage of volunteers the problem we have is NCO retention. You can double the budget of the RN overnight and would still not fix the personnel shortage, skilled technicians would rather work for more pay for less hours as civilians.

i thought we were one big happy family

america love its brother [canada] and its mom [england]

>>33799810
What's a typical day from waking up to going to sleep? I want to see past the "no day is the same" shit they give you recruitment centres.

>>33801306
>"no day is the same" shit they give you recruitment centres.
Every day is the same shit in a different wrapper when you're in the army. This is true for all armies.

>>33802215

Do you get told when to get up and when to go to bed?

>>33802595
Not directly, you're given times by which nobody wants to see you walking around and by which they want you standing at attention again, how you bridge everything in between is up to you.

>>33802595
Not once you get to your Battalion, you can go to bed and wake up whenever you like as long as you turn up for parade when specified. Plenty of people pull all nighters and wait for the booze to wear off, do not be one of those people.

>>33802612
>>33802626

So you need to be up by a certain time to march around? Sounds like hell

>>33802682
Just stroll in just before lunch time then knock off early, it helps to make friends with the CSM or RSM and you can call him mate.

>>33802595

Usually the most senior NCO will come round about 8:30pm and brush everyones teeth after that it's lights out

>>33802740
Right before he tucks you in, reads you a bedtime story and gives you a wee kiss on the forehead

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>>33799810
>Krakow and practice their drinking
Please do come, but remeber only brits that carry more than 1000 bong pounds on them are allowed in this city.
Also what's the bong's fascination with this city? Outside city square and some tourist traps you can get literally stabbed for rooting for a wrong football team. This city is a death trap.

>>33802682
If it isnt your lot, dont join up mate.
Then again, if you find your OC on your first day, then call him 'lad' or 'bruv' every time, he'll respect your tenacity and probably shoot you straight up to lance jack. From then on you can pretty much rock up to what you please, its a piece of piss. Ask nice enough and you can probably give his missus a go round.

>>33802851
Reminds us of home, also there's a couple really good whore houses

>>33802888
>Reminds us of home
In what way?
>good whore houses
Can confirm, been there but as a pizza delivery guy. My job was near one so they whores often ordered pizza in the middle of the night. Some bouncers even started to recognize me.

>>33802851
>Outside city square and some tourist traps you can get literally stabbed for rooting for a wrong football team
Makes us feel at home, I guess.

>>33802910
Not that guy, but I find its always nice when youve shagged a prozzie and then can pop into the next room for a quick natter with yer mam

>>33802851
Because Krakow is the spiritual equivalent of Glasgow after an Old Firm game

>>33802910
It always reminded me of home, a nice polite center surrounded by broken people, reminds me of the town I grew up in

>>33802959
>>33802944
>>33802925
You don't have to travel this much to get stabbed you know?

>>33802966
Its like the theme park version of home, I'm not going to get stabbed in Krakow because I'm in a group of at least 15 other lads, but at home I could be stabbed at any time, because I'm usually out and about on my own and have that mad Lance Jack pay packet

>>33802966
Coming from Glasgow im well aware

>>33802998
>and have that mad Lance Jack pay packet
Bitches get wet when they find about your £7k sports car.

>>33803015
They get wet when they see I have all my teeth spare one and can afford more than three rounds in a pub

>>33803015
>£7k
It's about 35k zł which is almost a price for a new car here. Polish women are attracted to BBP (big bong pound)

So whats the point in joining the infantry when you literally get treated like an infant

>>33803109
DESU the idea of getting thrown in with a load of other lads to just lad about for a bit sounds like a pretty good reason to be a soldier.

>>33803109
You get to kill people, also you have fairly low responsibility in peace time

>>33803109
You get to tell everyone in the army you're better than them. Excluding para's.

>>33803292
And can regale the women at the local pub about your close calls and times you operated with 'Them' on some super secret squirrel ops

>>33803292
You get to tell Paras too if you are prepared to fight, I knew a 5ft tall full screw that was a 3rd Dan in Judo that took great delight in picking fights everyone thought he would lose. The fucker once rag dolled me during a sparring session for calling him Tom Thumb.

>>33803292
What about RMs?

>>33803382
RM's are more likely to get naked with you and somehow piss gets involved.

>>33803292

But you aren't better than them, they know full well you have no GCSEs and are likely somewhat mentally unstable.

>>33803395
They still wave the 'muh combat roles' banner proud and high, so unless youre a special gunfire observer or reserve SF you wont win the shit slinging contest

>>33803395
You don't need to be switched on to join the infantry, but you need to be switched on to get far in it

>>33803382
RMs aren't in the Army.

>>33803414
>reserve SF

Weren't reserve SAS kicked out the SF group because they were found to not even be up to regular army standards?

>>33803456
21 and 23 SAS got bumped out of UKSF and into Int Corps, 1 ISR Brigade I think. 18 Sig Reg and 63 (SAS) Signals Squadron (R) are still UKSF

>>33803456
Funnily enough, I remember talking to a mate, who was on the recruiter role for a few months, about reserve SAS. Supposedly, ever since the first modern call of duty, the intake list for the reserve SAS role shot up. To the point where the Army had to make a fucking answer in the FAQ section, because their most asked question was "Can I join the SAS?" In which, under the answer, states "You can join the reserve Special Air Service" or something along those lines.

>>33803034
Is that really all it takes to get girls in Britain? Are American guys considered "exotic" (hard to say that with a straight face) like Brit guys are here?

>>33803528
Depends on your accent, a southern accent will make them wet otherwise you might sound like a retard.

>>33803358
don't para's beat the shit out of each other as part of their training

>>33803577
Thats just milling, I think every Battalion does it unofficially. You just punch the guy hard and fast and do not defend yourself, it is literally a test designed for retards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgoP37DVNSs

>>33803528
Birds love a good Texan accent. Or so they say.

Boston\New York is supposedly the most unappealing.

>>33803562
Hot damn I'm in boys

>>33803624
thing is, if you lose your mill, you can't fail anything else in P Coy or you've been binned.

>>33803640
I'm from New Orleans. We don't really sound like Texans or your typical country accent either but it's also different from typical American accents.

>>33803577
That's nothing, Royal Marines get to be pro wrestlers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwXlh1zugpA

>>33803657
Depends what you mean by losing, you can get the shit kicked out of you and still pass but anyone that pussies out after taking a few lumps should not be in the infantry.

>>33803707

Lmfao when is any of that shit useful or feasible in an actual fight

>>33803783
It's not, it is a recruitment show to impress youngsters.

>>33803707
And just like wrestling, that's all scripted.

Bootnecks are nothing

maroon machine > cabbage heads

>>33803783
I think if any soldier is engaging in hand-to-hand combat in a real fight these days something has gone spectacularly wrong.

>>33803828

SF might in a 1 in a million scenario have to dispatch someone with a knife but an actual fist fight between two soldiers will literally never happen.

>>33803880
What are you talking about mate, fist fights between soldiers happen all the time

>>33803880
What about when that guy bashed a sand monkeys head in?

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>>33803894
>fist fights between soldiers happen all the time
More times than I like to admit, first it was me getting the bollockings and eventually I was giving them. Still as long as no civvies came forward with complaints no one really gave a shit, no one ever held a grudge.

>>33803528
A good American accent is probably better, soldiers can get girls quite easily in most poor british towns because they typically are physically fitter, healthier and have more money to throw around compared to the local pov's

If you go to the sort of places where a lance jack's pay packet is a target of jealousy as an American tourist you'll probably get killed

>>33803939
Not by Brits though surely. I mean real British not tanned "British"

>>33803986
There are plenty of scum in the ranks of the white British, chavs are a real thing, not just something worked up by the daily heil to sell rags

>>33803986
Stop falling for the memes, muzzies do not booze properly and we have 3% blackies.

>>33804005
I suppose I'm just surprised I could get killed just for being American. I don't think the worst of the white trash around where I live wouldn't kill someone just for being British.

>>33804012
I don't trust Muslims

>>33804087
would not wouldn't kek

>>33804087
I didn't mean that literally you idiot, I just meant you'd be very unwelcome

>>33804102
oh okay but to be fair
>you'll probably be killed
is all I had to go off of

>>33804638
Overstatement, understatement and straight bullshitting to your face are very important parts of British culture.

>>33804638
Sarcasm and hyperbole don't translate well across the atlantic through a Ukrainian passenger jet downing co-ordination forum sadly

>>33800017
> tfw been here 8 years on /k/ and only just now getting out of being junior enlisted

>>33804726
Congrats sgt

>>33803783
If you can't take a few dozen punches to the face before crying uncle you aren't gonna do too well when you are being shot at

It's essentially one of the many tests of willpower that regiments like the paras put you through.

>>33804785
That and the PTI looks like Mr Rottweiler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy_gWwNvzqQ

>>33804785
>If you can't take a few dozen punches to the face before crying uncle you aren't gonna do too well when you are being shot at

What kinda logic is this? I've seen delta that were scared of spiders (the big camel type you get if the sandbox) and normal USMC that were quiet and shy, clearly in it for the college money types. They were all tough as old leather the minute they got shot at, no training can prepare you for that. Disqualifying someone because they don't like getting punched in the face is just toughguyism gone the extreme.

>>33805989
You might be right, but the para's still do it as part of their training. For them it's about being able to take a beating and being able to carry on the sort of resilience they are looking for. Not saying it's perfect by any means but you can see what they are getting at by keeping milling around as part of their training.

Also phobia's are a whole different thing, and there is nothing wrong with being scared of a camel spider things are fucking huge.

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>>33804726
hows it feel? e-5 in 2.5 years