Some dude just died after being swallowed whole by a huge sn

>>33477736
With a gun.

>>33477736
I would live on a civilized continent

>>33477736
8 gauge Snake Charmer loaded in some Brazilian made monkey hunting revolver.
My wrists will also double as a sacrifice to Odin to protect me from the foul serpent.

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How fucking hard is it to hold your phone sideways?!

>>33477755
>Implying there aren't 50 feet-long snakes in Australia.

>surprises you and gobbles you down?

It'll squeeze you first. I'd chop at it with a big knoife.

>>33477736
I don't think it was the swallowing part that killed him.
Probably the constricting part.

>>33477782
Doesn't swallowing involve using a lot of strong muscles though? I'm pretty sure if a 20ft snake would swallow you, he'd break your ribcage with his throat no problem

>>33477779
Like he said, civilized continent.

With a colt python, obviously.

>>33477736
Indo's are tiny little manlets, surprised more critters don't eat them

>>33477854
>Shoot my .50 s&w inside the python
>I'm free and without a leg because fucking gas expansion

Unless you manae to hit something important most guns aren't gonna do much against a snake, They don't really bleed all that much and their muscles can go on for quite some time even after death, I've had a dead headless snake try to bite me as I was skinning it, The nub where its head would've been just smacked into me.

I'd go with whatever I think would cause the most muscle/spinal damage. Most likely a 12 gauge. And a carpet razor as my sidearm incase I'm ensnared, Those scales are tough as fuck and most knives have a hard time getting through them.
Or just fucking kill myself because there's no good way to take out a fucking bigass snake, The small ones are already hard to kill.

>>33477903
>Implying 5'4'' is "manlet"
I'm 5'3'' and that's just called average, you fucker.

>>33477810
Maybe the ribcage of a manlet

>>33477934
Thats not even average in fucking honduras, you oompa loompa.

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>>33477934
Whew lads, don't take this bait.

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>>33477934

>>33477944
>oompa loompa dubadidoo
>If you're a manlet listen to me
>What do you get when you have shitty genes?
>Standing on your toes on every pic and not getting fucked by any chick
>Dobadidoo

>>33477755
spbp

>>33477736
>Some dude just died after being swallowed whole by a huge snake:
He actually was dead before being swallowed by it.

>>33477779
>Implying Australia isn't just a penal colony for the dirty brits

>>33477814
Oh my God what an easy joke, fuck you.

>>33477736
Present my much larger trouser snake and swallow the python whole

>>33478111
>Compensating this hard

>>33477736
Don't go out in the middle of the night to "harvest palm" in places where 20 foot long snakes exist. Situational awareness my dudes.

I always thought the common lore was that humans were too big to get eaten by snakes without the snake barfing them up or dying, though?

>>33477934
t. Tojo

>>33477736
if it swallows you alive, you can just tear it to pieces. but it will first suffocate you like any constrictor snek.

>>33478128
>I always thought the common lore was that humans were too big to get eaten by snakes without the snake barfing them up or dying, though?

indonazns are pretty tiny. half the size of a regular european.

>>33478121
>Not passing out due to low blood volume when you get an erection
Small penis privilege

>>33478005
Lol. Could use some work but it definitely has potential.

>>33477934
WHEN WILL THEY LEARN

Is it just me or this is kind of hot?

>>33478005
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg9nz41Y1FM

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>>33477736
Cold steel Gladius and a torch. I will destroy this hydra the only way I know how

>>33477934
>5'3''
In my country they say about people like you:
"He can not see the tram over the dog"

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>>33477934
>his country isn't average isn't even 5' 10"
>no less 6'

>>33478212
Turn off safesearch and Google "vore," then come back to us and you'll know wether or not you're mentally ill.

Do they make .454 RIP rounds? They should rebrand as snake defense ammo.

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>>33477736
A knife.

Take a deep breath and let the fucker wrap around you waist and chest, but not your arms. Once fully/partially wrapped, cut down the length of it's body till you reach the head, where you cut off it's head.

Let the snek feel the pain.

>>33478390
No, that's sadistic.

>>33477736
Clearly, spiked armor.

That guy was obviously dead when he was swallowed, pythons kill by constricting first and then swallow over hours. They can kill humans much easier than they can eat them, they're pretty dangerous but they don't usually attack anything big enough to be a problem eating. That said, there's an idea that his field was once a forest hunting ground and pythons go back to their hunting grounds even when they've changed.

>>33477810
>Doesn't swallowing involve using a lot of strong muscles though? I'm pretty sure if a 20ft snake would swallow you, he'd break your ribcage with his throat no problem
They break your bones (also kill you) by constricting first, you're all broken up when they eat you.

A knife isn't a bad bet but the odds of having an arm free are low because they know how to constrict, they usually start with the arms and then move to the chest. Also, they can immobilise a limb by biting and latching on to it.

t. friend keeps a python, it's kind of scare watching her feed

>>33478390
Python snakes broke all preys bones before eating it.

>>33477779
they are doing just fine on Florida, oh wait, Florida isnt Europe

>>33477736
>Some dude just died after being swallowed whole by a huge snake
he probably was dead before.
>How would YOU defend against a python who surprises you and gobbles you down?
they don't jump and fence you to death unless they have no choice, in cases like that they wrap themselves around a sleeping human then squeeze it to death.
If you get yourself in their death embrace you must do anything to escape, but its very fucking hard to do alone

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>>33478975
>mfw live in south SF

Another reason to 100% avoid the fucking Everglades.

Whoever records in vertical suffers a similar fate.

>>33477934
Anyone under 6' should just kill themselves

>>33477934
>Manlets believe this.

>>33478948
>there's an idea that his field was once a forest hunting ground and pythons go back to their hunting grounds even when they've changed.

Reptiles do not behave this way.


This guy had to either be dead beforehand, or stinking fucking passed-out drunk to get et by a python.

Self-defense really isn't the question to ask yourself re: giant snakes, so much as "is this really the right place to pass out?" - by not doing a very few really dumb things, you can put the odds of snake attack at nearly 0.

Or you can wear spiked armor everywhere. That too, yes.

>>33478212
Find fanfic about Link getting eaten by a like like that dissolved all of his clothes and fuck him in the ass and cock from within.

It's a strange fap.

whats with his legs

>>33477736
Using a colt python

>>33478212
Vore is the best fetish

>>33477736
By not being a manlet.
>Tfw 6'5" 240lbs 11% bf

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>>33479021
Florida is... definitely special

>>33479173
probably broken

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>>33477736
Im into vore so I think that guy got off pretty well.

>>33479095
that is a load of bullshit. snake that size will attack and eat you without either of those. God fucking damnit you ignorant retards who dont know shit about how a constrictor snake hunts and eats should just keep your yaps shut

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>>33478967
They apply enough pressure to overcome the heart.
>>Your heart > Millions of years of 20 foot Python's evolution
You have ~2-3 seconds of full pressure before your heart just can't pump the blood. Everything goes to sleep. Nite nite nigga

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>>33477736
By not being a manlet

>>33479334
In all honesty, the gator really probably didn't give a shit. There's a gif floating around where one Ges its arm ripped off by another gator and its just kinda like "dude wtf"

>>33478975
FLfag here, haven't run into any constrictors but so far i've eaten the rattlers i've come across before they could eat me.

>>33477934
I'm 5'4". Just accept that you're a turbomanlet

CONSTRICT'D

>>33478390
try skinning a freshly killed snake and you'll rethink that plan.

Constrictors kill by causing high blood pressure, not suffcation.

>>33481184
>>33480815
>not carrying high blood pressure medicine on you at all times

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>>33477736
Holy shit that's fucked.

Fuck.

>>33477736

with pugilism. I'm legit 6 foot 8, 325lbs and lift regularly. buddy of mine down in florida has 15ft burmese. We're not sure what set it off, but the fucker bit/latched on my shoulder and started to constrict me around my chest/arms.

I couldn't overpower it at first, but, reptiles wear out pretty quickly. I just muscled my way against it till it was too tired to put a full squeeze on me, and then managed to get it off. Pulling it's jaws open to get the bastard off my shoulder was the hardest part.

yeah, they can constrict large and more powerful animals than a human, but humans are smart, can apply leverage, and have arms/hands instead of 4 legs. combine that with being a strong, /fit/ dude, and you can pretty well fight off a massive snake.

I also wrestled a black bear in TN once. It had a muzzle and was de-clawed. It was at a bar, you payed the guy $100 and he'd let you wrestle the bear. After that experience I'm pretty sure I could take a black bear and live.... but I'd be needing an ambulance after it was done. No way anyone could come out of that without being cut to ribbons.

brown bear is another story. the black bear wasn't as strong as you'd think, and I could pretty easily knock/shove it around.... but brown bear..... paid a guy during a trip to alska to wrestle one.... man.... it was insane. that thing just effortlessly knocked me over and pinned me down. never been overpowered like that in my life. scary fucking animal right there.

>I travel around and pay people to let me wrestle their animals
>I've also wrestled gators and a croc
>fuck you it's my money I'll do what I like

in all honesty guys lets keep things things away from airplanes

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>>33477934

>>33479334
Jesus. Now imagine a whole army of these Floridian Freaks.

>>33481312
Failing to kill a Floridaman results in getting raped.

>>33477934
i'm 5'9 and that is dead average i'm sorry that they lied to you

>>33479334
>Reporting a man for fucking his dinosaur bitch
Fucking normies, man

>>33481272
that sounds pretty great. I wish I was a 6'8 freak of nature tbqhwyf

do you look like a skeleton lanklet or no?

>>33481272
nigga tape that shit and sell it
I'd buy it

>>33477779
No we don't

The largest we have is these pythons that go about 20 feet max.

It's the 5 meter long salt water crocodile you need to watch out for.

>>33481272
Under rated post

PETA should be alarmed

>>33477921
Make a couple holes and just start rippin'

I'm sure you could start a hole with a gun then pry your way out.

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>>33479334
Goddammit, Florida Man


Get your shit together.

>>33477736
lmao he got vored irl

>>33479334
>Being this fucking dumb to believe fake news like this.

>>33484208
obviously that's a peacock fucker.

>>33481272
That's...actually really fucking awesome. Tape that shit and post it here!

>>33477736
>starts getting wrapped up by 7m python
>set 30 min timer on bomb vest
heh heh joke's on you snek

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im ready

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>>33477779
>>Implying there aren't 50 feet-long snakes in Australia

Filthy sand people tricks, our snakes are friendly and caring

>>33477934
Hold up big fella! 5'3 is plenty tall.
Hell, my wife is 5'4!

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>>33477736
Best way to kill snakes is to decapitate them with a shovel.

Atleast here they are only mildly venomous but life dangering to pets and children.

>>33481272
Millions worth of viral videos on youtube waiting to be happened.

>>33477921
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_8jywmeVPY

snakes suck.

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>>33477934

>>33477736
I live in canada land so this is irrelevant to me...HA
>Canada 1
>rest of the world SNAKED

>>33481272
>Calling it out
This is copy pasta no shit.

>>33486008
This shit freaks me out. I am a grown man and I will fully admit to snakes and, ergo, snake heads, scaring the fucking piss out of me.
Fuck that shit. To quote Bill Engvall, it moves but it ain't got no legs, that's the devil right there.

>>33477736
not being a manlet

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>>33478948

>>33479184
underrated post

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>>33483982
Florida is basically the geographical manifestation of /s4s/, /r9k/, /pol/, /k/, and /b/.

>>33477736
>How would YOU defend against a python who surprises you and gobbles you down?

>play dead
>he doesn't need to squeeze me
>flip knife as I go down the gullet
>cut my way out from inside
>surprise!

>>33479334
Wasn't there a video about this?
I'm not sure if it was the same case (you never know how many people fuck alligators in Florida) but I remember seeing a video of a dude fucking a male alligator long ago.

>>33483982
>Cop runs Florida Man over and kills him.
Will we ever get some more stories about Florida Cop?

>>33482706
I don't believe you