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Going in for my polygraph and psyche eval for the local police

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Going in for my polygraph and psyche eval for the local police department soon. Anything I should know? Kind of nervous.
>>
Don't lie no matter the question and be yourself. We've lost three candidates recently for just that reason.
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And it's alright to be nervous, I was too. Don't try to control your breathing or deceive anything.
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>>33444547
Be honest and disclose any strange thing that comes to mind before and during.

It sucks, that's just the nature of it, but just do it. Absolutely do not go online looking up how to "beat a poly" or any shit like that, that makes you way more likely to psyche yourself out.
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>>33444578
>>33444594
>this bullshit
Anything on your background that you need to be worried about? No? Good. Yes? Lie. So you hired a hooker back when you were 18, maybe popped into a massage parlor once? Big deal, don't sweat it, they don't need to know. Lie detector tests aren't mind reading machines. They're a psyops cops use for background checks and criminals so that they do their jobs for them. They don't automatically read minds, they check your heartbeat, breathing, and sweat glands. Don't be nervous, literally the key. Take a fucking xanax and get a good night's rest. Because you don't need to believe they will find everything out, because that's just what they tell you. In reality, it's psychological operations done so you believe that if you don't come clean on literally everything and anything, you're going to automatically be disqualified. You aren't. Because it's shit. Polygraphs get a lot of good, a lot of GREAT candidates disqualified because they came clean about bullshit that doesn't matter, got caught with false positives (which is why you're allowed to retake a failed polygraph, but not a failed background) etc. It's psyops horse shit.

You can find hundreds of spies, criminals, etc. that cheated and beat polygraphs because of how ineffective they are. In fact, someone once offered a major prize for anyone to prove you can, with scientifically hard evidence, catch polygraph countermeasures. That has been around for 14 years, nobody has proven you can. Because you can't. Don't believe when they tell you they will know if you're lying, using countermeasures, etc. It's bullshit. Even polygraph experts know how much bullshit it is. Even Hillary Clinton knows full well a polygraph is bullshit, from her experience with a felon that raped a girl and lied about it.

Bro, trust me, just take a xanax, control your breathing, get a good night's sleep, and stay completely calm the entire time. You'll be fine.
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>>33444671
Someone failed a polygraph.
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>"Are you ready to start?"
>Y-yea sure.
>"BEEP BEEP"
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>>33444594
This. Remember to forget that you're breathing. Just make sure that's the only thing that you focus on, breathing normally and not controlling it. My last poly I got a pass because my breathing only showed up controlled on the 3rd round of questions. And I was reminded to not control my breathing next time. It is a really easy thing to do.
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>>33444671
t. failed to get a security clearance because he tried to lie about fucking hookers
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>>33444693
>>33444715
>failed
Wrong :^). I don't work in vegas for sure, but I passed my polygraph without any problems.

OP, is it any concern of you why everyone but me in this thread is drastically shilling polygraphs? Just fucking relax bro, they literally cannot take what you don't give them.

>>33444621
>Absolutely do not go online looking up how to "beat a poly" or any shit like that
I mean look at this shit lmao do yo expect me to believe that this isn't some bullshit shill cops are using in this thread right now to convince you not to try and beat their psyops? It's shit.

Fuck, if this were in any other context everyone would be saying "nice try mr. fbi/nsa/cia/atf/usda?" or something similar. It's shit, polygraphs don't always work, and as long as you keep fucking calm it's going to be fine. People can bitch at me this entire thread about this, they're all shilling you bro. Relax.
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>>33444773
People are telling OP to relax and tell the truth. That's all you need to do. You aren't going to get vanned for admitting to smoking weed in high school, especially if you admitted it on your SF-86. It's like you don't even understand the raison d'etre behind them and why they're a part of a comprehensive background check.

Telling OP to try and lie is the worst advice you could give
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>>33444822
>You aren't going to get vanned for admitting to smoking weed in high school
The reason behind the polygraph is to encourage candidates to tell the truth, and yes, a polygraph will catch you in the act of lying. Usually, anyway, like 70% of the time. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not saying OP should lie myself, but polygraphs aren't exactly 100% proven either, which is why they aren't admissible in court.

Yes, they can be used for background checks. Yes, there are false positives that can fail you for believing you are lying. Yes, it's best to tell the truth for most instances. But this is your life, this is your future, your life and future depend on you getting passed this polygraph. It should be no issue to get passed it, but for many people, they get scared and believe it is.

Relax. Literally relax. Tell the truth, but also don't tell anything different from your background investigation. Just relax. Literally, the key is relaxing when you need to relax. If you fail your polygraph, big deal, try again with them or a different department. You don't need to spoon feed them your entire life history, because in reality, it doesn't fucking matter. As long as you get that in your head, you'll relax during questioning, pass with flying colors, and move on to being a great police officer.

If you fail, big deal! They can't automatically disqualify you for failing your polygraph, only for coming forward with the truth on a little too much information that they deem unacceptable. Just be calm, relax, and you'll do fine.

Don't take a xanax though, if they drug test you it'll be all ogre.
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>>33444822
What happens if you said no to smoking weed on your sf86 but say yes on your poly?
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>>33444987
Don't know, but it's fucking dumb that you did. I hope you at least mentioned it in the initial security interview.
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>>33444547
They'll just ask you a bunch of generic questions, nothing personal.
It's a breeze.
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>>33444987
>>33445032
This happens a lot. Don't do this. Don't change your answers, and don't sweat them ever finding out.

Think of it this way, if you never told them, would they ever find out? No. "hurr yes we're the police we'll find out"

No, you won't. Faggots.

Also:
https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/whats-the-deal-with-lie-detectors

>Aldrich Ames, infamous spy for the Soviet Union, passed his lie detector tests by following his Soviet bosses' advice: "simply relax."

>Study by the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) that found no scientific evidence showing that the physiological reactions measured by the polygraph are only related to deception. The NAS report entitled "The Polygraph and Lie Detection" was presented to Congress and the Department of Energy and stated that "[a]lmost a century of research in scientific psychology and physiology provides little basis for the expectation that a polygraph test could have extremely high accuracy."

Best advice? Relax. Take a xanax unless they drug test. Relax, get a good night's sleep, no caffeine, RELAX, you're fine. Just relax.

>Polygraph testing continues to be popular in law enforcement and government agencies. More than the alleged accuracy of the tests, this use seems to be because the fear of being caught in a lie is often enough to make people tell the truth.

Don't bite your tongue or other stupid shit, if they see you do that they'll fail you on the fucking spot.
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So should I lie about some of my browsing habits? Because I've seen and even fapped to some pretty questionable shit on 4chan and I've been worried it'll flag me as a pedophile or something.
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>>33445618
Is it illegal? Key word anon. Is it illegal. What's the LEGALITY of it. If no, don't sweat it, you didn't do anything wrong. If yes, you should probably think of finding work in another field. Or you could try lying, fuck it, worse they can do is disqualify you. By no means admit to illegal browsing habits though, they can use admissions of guilt on your polygraph per-employment booklet against you in court.
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>>33445722
The vast majority of it was 2D, though that seems to be rather murky. I've also been in a few /int/ threads where the Polish CP spammer started doing his thing and I'm not sure how to approach that if at all.
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>>33445799
Did you knowingly, willingly access it? Did you use it for sexual gratification? No? Good to go, don't even mention it. Yes? Lel fuck off.
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>>33445618
>So should I lie about some of my browsing habits? Because I've seen and even fapped to some pretty questionable shit on 4chan and I've been worried it'll flag me as a pedophile or something.

Are you a member of child porn sharing rings on private message boards and IRC channels?
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>>33444547
Examine yourself and determine if you think it disqualifies you, either use that confidence with the polygraph or be honest about it.
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>>33444547
How'd your security interview go?
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>>33445902
The actual CP? Hell no, as soon as I expanded the thumbnail and realized what it was I immediately noped right out of the tab. It's the 2D I'm worried about though, obviously ignorance of the law is no excuse but I was a retarded horny teenager and back then I figured since it wasn't getting immediately reported and and taken down it wasn't illegal.

>>33445914
Not in the slightest, anything I've ever seen has either been here or on paheal.
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>>33444547
Y'know if you have some painkillers left over from something, those would help you relax.

I swear the last time I got pulled over I just kept getting more and more calm.
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>polygraph is going fine
>been doing it a while now
>have not had to lie once because im a good boy who dinui nuffin
>looks like I am going to pass
>polygraph operator goes to get up and tell me it's over
>grizzled veteran LEO puts his hand on the operators shoulder and says "one more question"
>the operator sits back down with a concerned look on his face
>the grizzled LEO looks me straight in the eye
>"Do you like lolis son?"
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>>33445948
>Not in the slightest, anything I've ever seen has either been here or on paheal.

You should be good, then.

If the 2D things ends making you feel guilty during it, bring up your concern to the interviewer. You've got a reasonable explanation: dumb teenager and haven't done it since.
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>>33446146
>If the 2D things ends making you feel guilty during it, bring up your concern to the interviewer
I'm just worried admitting to something like that at all will get me into serious trouble. It's pretty ironic since right now I'm interning in the child abuse unit at my local department (which uses voice stress analysis rather than polygraphs).
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>>33446168
It shouldn't. Unless you are involved in the covert creation, distribution, and sharing of CP, you should be good.
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>>33446259
All right then, it's just the court cases of people who have been convicted for loli worry me. Though in those cases they probably had tons of it saved on their computers anyway. In any case, are you at all familiar with how voice stress analysis works? I've been able to glean a decent amount of info on how the polygraph process goes but I have next to no idea how VSA works.
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>>33446297
>it's just the court cases of people who have been convicted for loli worry me

Has this happened in the US?
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>>33446318
Possession IIRC, which doesn't sound like OPs situation.

Unless it really bothers him during, he shouldn't bring it up.
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>>33446336
>Possession IIRC

>possession of drawings I don't like

>draw a big stick man fucking a little stick loli
>go directly to jail

Feels good living in a non fascist state.
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>>33446318
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Handley
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PROTECT_Act_of_2003
Though like >>33446336 said these cases were mostly possession. I'm not OP, it's just been a recurring worry of mine lately.
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Can anyone comment on the clutching butthole meme?
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>>33447143
Just one of the ways to trigger questions. Giving a false trigger to ALL your questions makes them think it's the norm, but this is exhausting to try.
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>>33447282
So clenching your butthole sets off the lie detector? Should you clench right before you answer, after you answer, or during the answer?
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>>33447307
How about don't

Do you really think your porn tastes are that strange that they haven't heard it before?
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>>33444547
sounds like OP needs to use a VPN from now on...

PIA/HMA/etc.

They're only like $50/year OP.
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You did it.
You did it.
You did it.
They're going to catch you.
You did it.
They know.
They know.
They're going to find out.
They know.
The harder you try to forget the more you remember.
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>>33444547
Just be ready to lick those sweet boots.
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>>33447677
ignore this faggot

if you have to lie about anything, remind yourself beforehand that its not a lie and you really never did (X), imagine yourself and your life around that time with (X) not included because you never had anything to do with that stuff and you were a good guy, so you can feel like you believe what you are saying


>>33447533
>>33447677
fuck off
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Guys serious question here. I quit smoking pot when Trump got elected. I owed it to myself, my family and Trump to stop degeneracies and follow my father's footsteps as an LEO.

I will lie about me smoking within the last 5 years but if I admit to smoking "a little weed" in high school (I started at 21 and stopped at 24) will they completely throw my file out for somebody who has never smoked?

My concern is that they'll catch me lying. I've never been officially caught my any schools, officers, job officials etc

Should I just reset my mind and think to myself I've never done drugs etc etc and lie on it to increase my chances of being hired

Scared, need to start my retirement and doing good shit

- another question
How do you answer the oral board without sounding retarded or like every other person?
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>>33444547
At some point, someone will shout "NIGGER!" then glance at your crotch. Don't be put off, they're just checking for an erection. It's standard.
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>>33444987
Don't change answers. Also don't lie. Every one has smoked weed. They care about lies not past petty bullshit
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>>33446084

FUGG THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT

>Going through the test, everything is going great
>Even joking and paling around with the interviewer
>"Haha, alright man one last question and then you're out of here. Do you fap to loli hentai?"
>My heart almost stops right there
>"Uh...uh, yeah."
>Machine goes BEEEEP BEEEP BEEEP
>Interviewer's face drops and he just looks at me like the biggest degenerate piece of shit in the world
>"Get the fuck out of here."
>Get up and leave
>Interviewer runs to the door and shouts "HEY GUYS THIS FUCKING PEDO FAPS TO LOLI"
>Looks of disgust and shouted insults as I run out the door crying
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>>33448218
Just imagine fapping to lollipops idiot
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>>33446084
WORRY.JPG
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Took one 33 years ago .
Tester
>me
Is anon your name? 3x
>yes, yes, yes
Have you ever drank on the job?
>no
Oh, c'mon , it shows you were a bartender.
>yes, I drank water or soda.
Do you have a fear of wild caged animals?
>no, as long as the cage is locked.
Answer yes or no!
>no
>I will never forget that question as long as I live.
>tester told me I was lying about my name.
> got the job.
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>>33448021
Whos got an answer for this
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>>33448021
It's exactly what they want you to do. Polygraphs are very unreliable, but most people think they are mind readers so they end up telling the truth.

If you say you haven't smoked pot and a drug test comes back negative and there's nothing on your record they'll chalk it up to a false-positive.

Polygraphs scare people into telling the truth, and it usually works. If you say you smoked weed, most gov't agencies boot you
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>>33449471
>Polygraphs scare people into telling the truth, and it usually works.
This, it's the fear of being caught in a lie that gets you. It's the stress, they always say "just tell the truth, we don't want liars" but in reality you're doing their jobs for them. Who cares, just lie, if you fail you retake the polygraph next time, if you fail a background you're fucked.
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>>33448021
>Guys serious question here. I quit smoking pot when Trump got elected. I owed it to myself, my family and Trump to stop degeneracies and follow my father's footsteps as an LEO.

Depends on the policy of your local PD. FBI iirc is no hard drugs either ever or within last 10 years and no soft drugs (mostly marijuana) within last 5.
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>>33448021

>want to get Gov't job
>smoke pot

You're fucked. gg no res
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>>33449606
>It's the stress, they always say "just tell the truth, we don't want liars" but in reality you're doing their jobs for them.

t. hasn't taken a poly
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>>33449471
>If you say you smoked weed, most gov't agencies boot you

>>33449625
>>want to get Gov't job
>>smoke pot
>You're fucked. gg no res

You both are stupid. It might have been that way 10 years ago, but try looking at some of the guidelines these days. Typically, if you've quit for a long period of time, you are good for most jobs these days.
>>
>>33449632
>t. hasn't taken a poly
t. polygraph shill
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>>33444547
a polygraph is bullshit, they get you worked up so when you lie your nervousness will register on the machine
Just relax and don't stress and you can lie that you're the last living descendant of jesus christ and the polygraph wont register it as a lie
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>>33449652
>If you say you smoked weed, most gov't agencies boot you
Yea they're not gonna care that much about drug use in the not so near past BUT if you've previously lied about it to them and then tell them on your poly, you're FUCKED so basically lie or tell the truth but don't change your story
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>>33449700
>t. polygraph shill
If you haven't had to take one for a clearance, you have no business talking about them
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>>33449807
>If you haven't had to take one for a clearance, you have no business talking about them
But I have taken one. I took three, in fact, and only failed one.
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>>33449784
i've never listed on any application that i've ever done marijuana

never been officially recorded or caught, the only people who know are some degen old coworkers

so basically, stick to my story and keep at it and say i've never done it

if i get hired or during my oral if they ask, i say no even on FTO if my training officer tries to cozy up with me i'll remain with that statement of no?

>>33450245
>>33449807
>>33449784
>>33449712
>>33449700
>>33449652
>>33449632
>>33449625
>>33449618
>>33449606
>>33449471
>>
>>33450927
so you already lied about it?
stick with that then
if you fail a poly worst that happens is you dont get the job
if you lie to the gov during a bg check and admit to it you may face criminal charges
>>
>>33450961
yes, with 1 government application (so far) that being a highway patrol agency, however that agency saw over 90k applicants so me not telling the truth on the actual app did not have anything to do with me not getting hired

what sort of in depth questions do they ask, the only thing i have to lie about is smoking pot and having a piss fetish - what kind of sexual questions do they ask
>>
i got a question bout this weed stuff since we talkin bout it if i bought weed at a dispensary in oregon and moved to another state and say i didnt smoke on a poly or any job apps can they still find out i bought pot at a dispensary??????????????????????
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>>33451046
>>
>>33450992
>what sort of in depth questions do they ask, the only thing i have to lie about is smoking pot and having a piss fetish - what kind of sexual questions do they ask

A piss fetish would not matter, you filthy degenerate
>>
>>33444822
you aren't going to get vanned but you will get canned from the process for giving up things that don't need to be given up. do not volunteer information.
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>>33451664
on the topic of bein a filthy degen wot about watching some beast vids years ago i am so shame for doin that will they ask questions bout that???????
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>>33444547
If your already nervous your going to fail. You can not lie about anything and fail by being nervous. The result will be "inconclusive" and they'll either A. make you retake it, B. pass you anyway, C. ask more questions and make you retake it to try and catch you in a lie, D. disqualify you.

They'll only do D if your a shit applicant already and they won't DQ you if you don't change your story. So if they try C and you don't change your story (lying or not) and they can't prove by other means your lying then they'll do either A or B. Although I'm pretty sure some agencies go to D if you take a poly 3 times and fail. Regardless, unless you lie and then admit you lied or lie about something they can and will find out about then you won't be blacklisted from LE you just don't be hired.

>mfw told "according to this you don't know what day it is or what your name is"
>mfw I still passed

Also, the amount of degeneracy in this thread is outstanding. If you fap to Loli porn of smoked weed for the past 5 years don't try to get hired as a LEO you fucking retards. And OP said he was nervous. Stop trying to convince people to "beat" a polygraph. You'll end up making them fail when they inadvertently try to trick the questioner OR they'll pass and be a degenerate cop and walking liability clause with a badge.
>>
>>33451046
>>33451774
helllo cann some1 ansswer me????????
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>>33452007
>Also, the amount of degeneracy in this thread is outstanding.
I feel like some of it is roleplaying and idle curiosity from people in no position or without any inclination to take one.

>>33451774
Probably not good. There isn't much in the way of federal guidelines, but it is illegal in most states. And I doubt that the FBI or CIA would take a zoophile candidate over someone with more vanilla porn tastes
>>
>>33452255
im notr ying to be cia i just wanna be a city cop it was bad i am sorry i havent watched that awful filth again

will the question come up in a polygraph???????????
>>
If I tell them I hate niggers will they promote me on the spot?
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>>33452273
>will the question come up in a polygraph???????????

I can't answer that.
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>>33452317
who r u ???? can smeone answer it plz whoever took a polygraph i just want to know i am so scared i am such a bad oerson
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>>33452325
That's not a question anyone that's taken a poly for a security clearance should answer
>>
>>33452325
they'll only ask about it if you've mentioned it before.
>>
>>33452325
Relax, I haven't taken a polygraph but by the sounds of the way you're posting it sounds like you need to grow up a few more years before you assume the role as a law enforcement officer.
>>
>>33452398
wut about ppl posting about that loli shit do they ask about person al sex shit???? i just am so sory bout my degen past i fuckin hate watching women get licked by dogs so stupid of me
>>
>>33452403
dude im literally 19 nd prob older then u so fuck off with the righteous bullshit im just gettin answers asshole
>>
>>33452430
Here's what you are going to do. You are going to apply yourself in your college degree, which can be anything from CJ to PoliSci to Computer Science, and get the best grades you can. You're going to apply to every relevant internship you can, and seek out opportunities to go to conferences and get your name out there.

Worry about your skillset and becoming the best candidate for the job long before you worry about a poly. They're going to tell you what to do anyway.
>>
I'm glad lie detectors aren't allowed for employment in my state. Although I think an in depth background check interview will still ask the same questions anyway, they just won't be able to use bullshit machine results against you.
>>
>>33452481
On this note, this police agency I am applying for doesn't require college experience, however, (if you are an LEO - if not, can someone answer this) is there anyway for me to look more marketable than the others? This is a little before my time, I know, but what kind of answers should I give to the oral board? Are there any sort of trick questions pertaining to off-color racial jokes?
>>
>>33452530
I'm not LEO, so I'm not really sure about what specifically they look for.

>Are there any sort of trick questions pertaining to off-color racial jokes?

Don't fucking post it on facebook or twitter, for one. Any PR fuckup impacts the image of the organization.

If it's something that you feel really guilty about, it might be worth bringing up during a security interview. It's not like they don't understand young people doing stupid things.
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>>33452606
have a convincing decoy facebook. they will ask you about social media and expect you to give it up. make your normal one secret and unable to be searched for
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>>33452606
My facebook has a fake name and I hardly post images of myself on it, if ever. Should I deactivate my facebook during the hiring process?

>>33452661
Ah, I see. Should I begin doing that now and start a nice little facebook with PC friendly everything? I figure about a month or two down the line I'll be required to give it up. Enough time? How many friends will I need to add?
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>>33452674
>My facebook has a fake name and I hardly post images of myself on it, if ever. Should I deactivate my facebook during the hiring process?

What do you mean by "off-color jokes" anyway? Are you complaining about "damn niggers" on FB? Is it just posting BlueLivesMatter/AllLivesMatter? What is bothering you?

They're probably going to ask for email accounts you use anyway.

>Ah, I see. Should I begin doing that now and start a nice little facebook with PC friendly everything? I figure about a month or two down the line I'll be required to give it up. Enough time? How many friends will I need to add?

Why are you trying to lie your way into a position of public trust and authority? If only by this metric, I would not want to work with or hire you.
>>
>>33444547
Polygraphs are not real. It's just a tool to get you to say dumb shit.
>>
>>33452704
Blue Lives Matter posts, making questionable posts about why we fund Israel. When I think about it, I don't really have much to worry about. But I worry if when they dig they might find something pretty offensive about something Israel related or pizza gate related stuff.

>off color jokes
I'm wondering if they will ask me "What would you do in this instance"

>>33452704
Not necessarily lying, I just don't want to get held up by political correctness.

By email accounts, are they going to go through my personal email to see what I've written to friends and sent myself?
>>
>>33452704
>>33452742
I've emailed myself plenty of /pol/ threads regarding Israel etc, I'm sure once they see 4chan within the email body they might assume I am some sort of sicko.
>>
>>33448725
Kek
>>
>>33452742
>Blue Lives Matter posts
I wouldn't worry

>making questionable posts about why we fund Israel.
Are you posting Happy Merchants and joking about the Holocaust? Or are you just quoting Mearsheimer?

>Not necessarily lying, I just don't want to get held up by political correctness.

I'm reading your fucking posts in this thread. You're trying to cover up shit and asking how to lie through a poly.

You can fuck right off if you don't understand why this is offputting. There's a difference between making mistakes and owning up to them, versus trying to cover it up and lie about it.

Fuck you.
>>
>>33449712
Not even that. 90% of the polygraph is the "idle" chit chat you have with the examiner when he's hooking you up. People tell on themselves when they think the detector is off. There is no such thing as a lie detector. If they actually worked not only would they be admissible in all 50 states, but they would be mandatory. It's a mind game just like the scientology e meter. Exact same head game. Don't fall for it like some third world bushman.
>>
>>33452795
I've made significant posts regarding rabbi tax and how people should have researched the Haavara Agreement, but I never joked about the holocaust or made happy merchant pic posts.

So what that I lie about the usage of marijuana, who gives a shit. If I was lying about being a serial rapist, then I think we have something to worry about.
>>
>>33452815
>I've made significant posts regarding rabbi tax and how people should have researched the Haavara Agreement

To what end, that the Nazis weren't genocidal?
>>
>>33452834
More along the lines that we send billions of dollars to Israel yearly to fund their healthcare, housing and war chest, yet receive nothing in return. We instead see Palestinian children being maimed at the hands of IDF.

I can't honestly say I've ever posted in support of the Nazis on my facebook or that they weren't genocidal maniacs, but I have posted that republicans who have cucked themselves to AIPAC were disgraceful.

Will a police department ask to go into my email accounts? I'm not applying for the Central Intelligence Agency.
>>
>>33452880
>More along the lines that we send billions of dollars to Israel yearly to fund their healthcare, housing and war chest, yet receive nothing in return. We instead see Palestinian children being maimed at the hands of IDF.

You're kinda dumb, but not crazy
>>
>>33452896
I'm not sure if that helps me getting hired by a police department or a sheriff's department, but do you suggest I go back and censor myself?

>Will a police department ask to go into my email accounts? I'm not applying for the Central Intelligence Agency.

Should I delete anything and everything pertaining to 4chan etc Israel off my email in that case?

I'm not a psychopath, I genuinely want to get started with my retirement and pension package. I'm not getting any younger.
>>
>>33444547
>Vegas
If I put a /k/ patch somewhere in my car will you let me off on a ticket?
>>
>>33444578
Don't listen to this guy, just fucking lie, the burden of proof lies with them
>>
>>33444547
Uh yeah, don't be a fucking pig you bootlicker. Hope you die in training
>>
>>33452932
>I'm not sure if that helps me getting hired by a police department or a sheriff's department, but do you suggest I go back and censor myself?

Not really. It's a little out there, but not conspiracy theory crazy.

>Will a police department ask to go into my email accounts?

The FBI handles background investigations, bub
>>
>>33452977
So does that mean the FBI will go into my emails? I've been given FBI BG checks in the past for many jobs, however, nothing of law enforcing magnitude. I carry a firearm at my current posting.
>>
>>33452704
there are a lot of things people would rather employers not see unless you absolutely allow them to. hobbies, interests, etc. for example, guns. while the police might be okay with guns (and that's a big "might") a lot of other companies would not. in most cases making your posts and profile private is enough but with things like the feds they tend to go deeper
>>
>>33452325
if you end up being a cop I'd be worried for the people living in your city. You type like I imagine the fucking fourteen year old in the dog fucking video you watched would type.

You know you'll get eliminated for simply being too thick in the head anyway, just give up.
>>
>>33453005
>there are a lot of things people would rather employers not see unless you absolutely allow them to. hobbies, interests, etc. for example, guns. while the police might be okay with guns (and that's a big "might") a lot of other companies would not. in most cases making your posts and profile private is enough but with things like the feds they tend to go deeper

Which is why integrity and honesty is the best policy, rather than trying to cover up shit
>>
>>33453021
i otld u to fuck off with the rightous bullshit anyways i am already almost a cop i drive a crown victoria and ppl respctt me on the roads so i know wat it takes bro
>>
>>33453049
This has to be a troll
>>
>>33444547
I stopped breathing the first time I took the polygraph. I didn't even notice. The examiner straight up asked me if I was still breathing. Still passed though
>>
>>33453054
I also have that bad habit. I just tried to keep my breathing at a steady rate once the examiner pointed it out. Wasn't a big deal.

It's not fun by any means, but I feel like you have to be a pretty big fuckup to not make it past the poly and background check if you are honest, since the organization clearly wants you. I think it costs something like $10k per candidate. So it's not like they're trying to play gotcha.
>>
>>33453005
>>33453033
Integrity is a must, I agree. How deep will the feds go though? Should I clean my email up and delete emailed links of old threads from /pol/?

>>33453049
Thought you went to sleep, heh. It was me you originally thought was a "righteous" person. If you're being legit, I really do not think you should go into LE.

>>33453052
Has to be.
>>
>>33453111
fukc off kid like i said im older then u im 19 not some 14 year old idiot
>>
>>33444547
Lie detectors like ink blot tests are bullshit I don't know why the government still uses them.

Watch the Pen and Teller BS episode about it, all polygraph dose is detect blood pressure spikes and say that means you lied.

So if you are a nervous person who freaks out a lot or a super aggressive guy that gets angry they'll ask questions like if you are a mother fucker and watch your heart rate.
>>
>>33453111
>How deep will the feds go though?
Nobody that isn't a security officer can give you the right answer to that question.

>Should I clean my email up and delete emailed links of old threads from /pol/?
If it really bothers you. But if you are, as I assume, a generally upstanding person who's not a habitual liar and enjoys /pol/ banter, I wouldn't necessarily be worried. You don't seem like the Stormfront crowd, and there's plenty of transgressive humor (Margaret Cho, for example).

At worst, you'll need to explain yourself. Or if it's really bothering you during, as happened to me (although it was inference to "dindu"-posting during the whole Minnessota BLM debacle). It was something I felt bad about, brought up, and explained that I was feeling upset and didn't think through what I did. Obviously, it's different for your situation; but they really are not out to get you.
>>
>>33447143
>>33447282
It's easier to constrict your femoral artery
>>
>>33453214
It's an interview tool. Effectively a prop, it's used to ask questions repeatedly in a controlled environment. The readings on the machine don't really mean anything, beyond physiological responses that may or may not have anything to do with the questions.

The problem is that stupid people think they can detect lies and put faith in them. There's a lot of stupid people in the FBI and other organisations that use them for employee testing.


Statistically it's less effective then a cold room and a cup of coffee as an interview tool to expose lies and inconsistent stories.
>>
>>33447307
You don't set off a lie detector. It just detects variations that may or may not mean anything in sweat, heart rate and blood pressure.

The easy way to beat one is ignore it and focus on giving consistent and confident answers to the questions you are asked. It can't tell if you are lying or not. It's a third rate medical digonistic machine being used by, in most cases, an idiot.
>>
>>33453293
>There's a lot of stupid people in the FBI and other organisations that use them for employee testing.

As one component of a comprehensive check.
>>
>>33453244
Thanks for the information. I really appreciate it.

>>33453310
Some polygraph examinations make you face a wall away from the examiner? Or is this a rumor?
>>
>>33453378
>Some polygraph examinations make you face a wall away from the examiner? Or is this a rumor?
I'm pretty sure this is at the discretion of the examiner. I've already forgotten how I was oriented the first time I took a polygraph, but the second time, I was facing out a big window overlooking a good part of the metroplex. Pretty nice view.

It would make sense to face away from the examiner though so you don't get any tells or see any patterns based on what the examiner is doing.
>>
>>33444547
You in Vegas? Are you going for Metro or Henderson PD?
>>
I failed my test because they asked me if I was into bestiality and I admitted to going to a furry convention once
>>
>>33453739
serious?
>>
>>33453739
dud r uio serious like bro wat if they dont hire me idk man im a lil concorned bout that qustion u know?????
>>
>>33453791
you're fucked. save yourself the embarassment.
>>
>>33453759
don't judge me
>>
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>>33453791
>>
>>33444987
I got disqualified for not admitting my parents smoked on the paperwork then saying I forgot to mention it since the question was "illegal drugs" and they have weed cards. Don't admit to lying on the paperwork, they are fuck heads on that point. Already lied, just keep going, admitting doesn't save you
>>
>>33453852
On another point, yeah, the test is a bit of confidence and calm. I didn't admit to getting a hooker like 3 years ago. Kept telling myself I never did. The test said I was lying about hanging out with gang members, I haven't, so I came up with some shit like "well, a family friend at a few parties seems kind of sketchy, but I don't know what kind of stuff he does." and one other thing I never did and again came up with some innocent shit to make it seem like I was just nervous
>>
>>33444547
Good luck anon, don't become a cunt like some cops.
>>
>>33453805
wat dies that even mean?>???????? im really a good choice u gota understand i got a crown victoria my parents say i am a good pick for the job plus i get a lot of rspect driving in that car its really cool u know???

>>33453812
dude im not retarded fuck off
>>
>>33444547
the polygraph detects nervousness more than it does lies
so just chill
>>
since when did people trying out for police jobs need to take a fucking polygraph?
>>
>>33453923
right?????? thats wat im saying i dnt think these ppl r being truthful prob a buncha trolls every1 keeps tryin to call me retarded or immature i dont even think the police even check cuz i see alot of cops who seem dumb like wat how does that happn u know bro?????
>>
>>33453909
>>33453932
please be trolling
>>
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>>33446084
>tfw you get failed for answering in the negative
>>
>>33453942
ur a troll kid im older then u prob im 19 and im gunna be a cop before u ha ha ha
>>
>>33453932
There's dumb cops cause they want "honest" people over competence
>>
>>33453963
>19 is old
kys
>>
>>33444547
Recently made it through academy and FTO. My advice, fucking run. Take any other job than this. You'll go through hell in the academy only to go through hell as a career for the next 25 years.

I'm a fucking glorified hobo wrangler. I had another combative today and I smell like shit and the worst B.O. you can imagine from having to wrestle with him, my uniform is in a bag in the garage and I dread having to open it. Afterwards I had to write a lengthy report explaining to my sergeant why I put my knee in his back. The fucker got an inch away from biting me with his disgusting meth mouth. At least I didn't get spit on again, then I'd have to fill out another exposure form. Seriously, you don't know what we go through to keep the riffraff away from you guys, and it's certainly not worth the shit pay I'm getting.
>>
>>33447700
so i casually noticed what kids around here call a "get"

>licking those sweet boots
wouldnt you want to be on the /winning/ side for a change? and who wouldnt jump at the chance to legally crack some hippie skulls
>>
>>33453987
Would your advice be to find a cushy little town that sees little to no calls of service and ride my retirement out rather than the neighboring Sheriff's Office which receives a majority of all the hot calls and disgusting transients?
>>
>>33453987
>chose a career without learning what the job actually is
>disappointed it isnt the power trip i had hoped it would be

cops like you are why people hate cops
>>
>>33453987
What is your pay? Not op, I'm applying with Stockton and San Joaquin here in California. The job descriptions said 5,000 a month, people say like 20-25 an hour with lots of over time. I recently got my guard card since the process takes almost a fucking year and I fully don't expect to make it this application attempt. Would I be better off just trying to get into buffer security like protecting retarded rich people?
>>
>>33454020
You're going to get shit pay in those towns and they're most likely going to be running on a skeleton crew so you'll still be hopping call to call with no meal breaks.

>>33454022
I hate cops even as a cop, well like 20% of them who are the power tripping retards you described. I just wanted to keep the community safe but the department is just downright abusive, that's my real grievance. I don't care about having to go all WWE on smelly junkies, I'm just advising that it sucks.
>>
>>33454043
It starts out at $64,000 a year, though.
>>
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>>33444547
I'm literally typing this waiting at the local departments shooting range waiting for an instructor to show up for pre-academy instruction. Just don't lie. Act enthusiastic fitting interviews but not overly
>>
>>33454034
Idk, you have to weigh your interests and skills to see what the best career choice is for you. All I can say is LE has its bullshit and it's verifiably worse bullshit than any bullshit you'll encounter on any other job.

I can say it's going to be difficult for you to get into a department in California. I tried for years going though ridiculously long interviews, getting denied for ridiculous reasons, and getting yelled at during testing. Riverside county sheriff's actually had the balls to search my car in the parking lot during my interview, and I've heard some departments will visit you at home and ask to search your house. I decided to try applying in another state and got the first job I applied for and was treated like an actual member of the community during the application process, not some criminal.

California is a fucking strange, very totalitarian state. That goes without saying. I wouldn't work LE there just based on the fact that everyone hates you. The job market is also saturated with applicants which gives them justification for being so strict.
>>
>>33454058
Consider cost of living in your area but that sounds decent. I'm at 58k without the mandatory overtime and you know what I can afford? A luxurious 200k house (that's sarcasm), and that's if your car is already paid off.
>>
>>33454077
Yeah, I mainly want it for dodging the gun bullshit. Planning on saving to get a home on my family's land in Oklahoma so I might have a better shot there since its rural as fuck. 20 minute drive to the nearest town, slightly shorter drive if you decide to drive to Texas instead.
>>
>>33454082
It isn't all too bad in my area. My girlfriend is going to be getting into dispatching so she'll be making somewhere around 52-65 and then it goes up to 76,000 a year but that is with experience so I'm assuming it'll be around 60,000 a year. Not at all too bad if we can combine incomes.

Cost of living around here is about $1400/mo for rent in a decent area.

Good luck on your career brother, it's one hell of a ride. My dad finally got done with 37 years on the job.
>>
>>33444547

Take beta blockers.

You could look him in the eye and tell that interrogator that you are a purple dinosaur and the polygraph needles won't budge.

Beta blockers are aso good for calming the ptsd down for a day of shooting at the range.
>>
>>33448172
>Every one has smoked weed.

Lol no.
>>
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>>33454058
>>33454082
Cucks. The city I'm applying to starts you at $72k after probationary period. Then again it's a nigger war zone.
>>
>>33444707

Underrated
>>
>>33444547
Having gone through this process myself and spoken with several friends in law enforcement you must go in with the mindset that every day is a bright and sunny day and that you're a natural leader.
>>
How do we cheat the lie detector test then?
>>
>>33457304

see

>>33454139
>>
>>33452298
Considering that's a leftist meme to distort the fact that policing certain (read: black) neighborhoods is like patrolling Iraq and that there is no correlation with being a white cop and shooting black men more often. Black cops are like a third of the force nationwide and hate niggers with the same relish from my experience.
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