>Have a militia group 10-20 people strong >Self identify

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>>33309280

>Overly theatrical individuals with delusions of importance and grandeur curiously apply labels of importance and grandeur to themselves.

thats Col. Whitewolf to you maggot

>>33309280
Same logic as to why you have to go up to a colonel or general to find anyone with any actual authority in 3rd world shithole militaries.

>>33309371
>When militiamen give themselves callsigns/codenames it's always hardcore, "badass" stuff
>When actual military guys give themselves callsigns it's usually goofy stuff or in-jokes

Really makes you think.

>>33309280
>Why do militia faggots do this shit?
>Why do militia faggots
>militia faggots

You just answered it

>>33309280
>implying I'm not calling myself SS-Oberst-Gruppenführer

>>33309385
but in the military I was known as Shadow Cobra and had over 5,000 confirmed kills.

>>33309385
This. My dad knew one fellow aviator whose callsign was Jaws. Sounds badass, right? Until you realize that it stands for "Just Admiral Winnifeld's Son" and implied that he was only flying jets because daddy was an admiral and got him through. Think he made four star eventually.

>>33309522
My high school teacher was in the airforce and told us that you got your call sign when you fucked up, for fucking up.

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same reason why stolen valor faggots give themselves so many medals. they're unaccomplished and want to feel special.

>>33309280
Because if you're role-playing you might as well give yourself the best role to play.

>>33309596
>>33309606
these

to play devil's advocate however, if were in a militia and if I were on camera, I would not use my real name, and I wouldn't want any of my peers to do the same either. so at the very least it's acceptable to pick a cool nickname.

>>33309596
>sargent
>32 years
wut

Militias have always gone by military ranks. Personally I like the Roman Legion ranks, and if I had a militia everyone would go by those ranks and speak latin.

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>>33309562
kek. Basically this.

>pilot named gutter because he passed out in a literal ditch after puking in it.

I got chainsaw because I snore loud enough to keep the next three rooms awake

>>33309385

This. My bro got the nickname "Pinky" cause he ND when drinkong, blew off the top portion of his Pinky.

>>33309596
>they're unaccomplished and want to feel special
Haha... y-yeah. H-how pathetic.

;_;

>>33309519

Only 5k kills. What a filthy casual.

>>33309562
That too. Dad knows a guy who came to be known as "Sneakers" because he sprained his ankles jumping out of his F-14 on the tarmac when he thought he had a fire. He couldn't wear flight boots and wore sneakers instead.

>>33309562
Yep. My official callsign is Airhead because my first day on the job I fell for the 'go find me some winter air from the motor pool' meme

>>33309677
Mudhen anon?

>>33309280
Well if you put aside all the other cancerous shit associated with militias (which is a tall order) any non government aligned fighting force would need an officer equivalent to decide big picture things. Things what/who they were fighting for and shit.

>>33309385
But in the military you are fighting for the interests of a foreign power, so naturally the existence of the whole institution is one elaborate inside joke.

>>33309596
I understand the whole you can wear whatever you want thing


but god damn does this rustle my jimmies.

>>33309596
>that ESWS
o i am laffin m8

>>33310150
Why does /k/ hate militias?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mIz4Nr5p6E

enjoy friends

>>33310269
Because they're either filled with retards or federal agents.

Remember that business with those guys that took over a wildlife refuge?

None of them got charged because pretty much everyone involved was on the FBI's payroll.

>>33310269
They tend to be staffed by people who might be legitimate retards. There's more than liberal media bias reason that you don't hear about militias in the US doing positive shit often.

>>33309562
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67a-WndnOws
apparently even operators do it.

>>33310287
Just started and I'm cringing already. Thanks for that.

>>33309385
>mfw my actual callsign is a spongebob meme reference

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>>33310150

>When I was about 20, I decided I wanted to join the local militia in Redacted PA.
>They called it a shooting club, cause it was the 90's and the ATF did NOT like the militia movement in general.
>The group was pretty organized, but didn't use any specific form of address for anyone.
>We didn't need no officer in charge.
>We had John.
>Everyone knew it wasn't his real name, but the ones that knew his real name wouldn't tell anyone else. He was just John.
>"John says..." became the norm.
>"Ranks and insignia are sniper bait," John taught us, wearing his Mossy Oak jacket.
>"We have no officers, we have no mission, so we clearly have no malicious intent," John taught us, handing out copies of the gubmints definitions of violent groups.
>"Shooting clubs focus on accuracy and single target engagements," John taught us, hanging shoot/no-shoot targets at the range.
>"Shooting clubs have to stand up for our rights," John taught us, in the clubhouse as the AWB passed.
>"Shooting clubs have to be active in demonstrating our necessity," John taught us, at a meeting at 11:00PM
>"Shooting clubs are of that Great American Tradition," John taught us, wearing a shirt that said 1776.
>"Shooting clubs are standing up for what's right, and what's necessary," John taught us, showing us where the local police chief lived.
>"Shooting clubs are just shooting clubs!" John taught us from the back of the police car.

>Tfw I accidentally became a domestic terrorist.
>police haul us all in, about 15 people. Ask questions, determine John is just a crazy motherfucker.
>Everyone who knows John's real name squeals like a pig.
>Everyone who doesn't gets accused of trying to cover for him.
>Cops eventually determine I'm just an idiot kid, and cut me and like three others go.
>Pretty sure I'm still on some watchlist.

Militias are fun, guys. Just be careful.

>>33310448
>Are there any "smart" militias, or are they nothing more than dumb manchild larpers?

The nasty girls.

You don't want to hear it, but if you want to be a weekend warrior, you sign up to do weekend warrior shit. People will bitch up and down about you being part of the federal government, but when people need help in disasters or civil distress, it's the NG that helps.

Gets more complicated when you're talking about the possibility of revolution, but that's a fucking fantasy all on its own, so you're free to set whatever terms you'd like for your own imagination.

>>33310449

Bummer of a story, but well written.

>>33309705
Hey the difference is active military KNOW what medals are bullshit. And that awards are so the military doesn't have to pay you extra for doing your job.

>>33309280
>militia faggots do this shit

Hey, if you're an undercover FBI agent in charge of a honeypot operation, you damn well want a cool rank for the plebs to call you before you van them all.

>>33310302
4 got charged in the second round, though only for half the charges.

Apparently you get twice the years for digging a hole in federal ground than carrying weapons.

Oh government....

>>33310150
I think I'm going to organize a militia using corporate titles. Head honcho is the CEO, XO is general manager. Then there'll be department supervisors- HR, supply, maintenance, conflict resolution, and so on.

All the way down to the grunt with a rifle, who's a conflict resolution technician.

>>33310287
are these guys serious? how can you believe you are aything other than a joke when you are a 400 pound LARPer

>>33310679
>PMC

so what do american militias do anyways? sit around and wait for the fan to get dirty?

>>33310269
You know all the ironic "*teleports behind you* nothing personnel, kid" posting that goes on here? Well imagine that level of edginess and delusion, but it's real and unironic. Way too many militias are 2edgy4me.

>>33310269
American ones aren't really active and are babby tier in terms of modern worldwide paramilitary formations. If you compare the American militia movement to Hezbollah, Eastern European militia groups, goverment sponsored loyalist paramilitaries, the most powerful transnational crime networks like the cartels or the oldest mafias, and insurgents or rebels in almost any moderately relevant third world who own stockpiles of actual military grade hardware like machine guns, rocket artillery, anti tank weapons, and even actual armored units. Along with large mafia/deep state style social and economic support groups to fund their militaries. Which is ironic given America's huge history of almost every kind of unconventional troops and auxilaries imaginable.

From foreign fighters and mercenaries across the world to 'advisors' like civil war veterans training westernized troops in Asia or Africa. To even homegrown militias and paramilitaries of all stripes literally fighting each other and neighboring colonials and natives for hundreds of years.

>>33310449
Sounds like a rad cult until everyone got v&

>>33310449
What's John's real name?

>>33310449
Dammit, Dale

Because they're LARPing.

Tbh I know it's gay as fuck but I've always secretly wished there was something like a militia in my area that wasn't filled with these queers and neckbeards. Not because I have delusions that one day we'll fight the gubmint or something, but rather as some kind of group to help respond to natural disasters with food and support, maybe medical support even if we get some ex-paramedics in it and stuff. The most "combat" related thing I could ever see such a militia needing to do would be maybe to protect private property and life in the event of a LA riot-tier happening or something.

But sadly, the instant you attach the name "militia" to anything these days you're instantly a fucking turbo autist retard like Colonel Dipshit in the OP.

>At most they have the equivalent responsibilities of a Lieutenant or a Platoon Sergeant.
They don't have any responsibilities because in any event where they actually need a chain of command like that, they're going to tell this retard to fuck off and just listen to the guy with the most experience with the situation at hand, be that a former LEO, milfag, paramedic, whatever.

>>33309385
exactly, my callsign was Moose. Mostly just cause I was from Maine

>>33310701
Nope. My militia will be nonprofit. Not necessarily by intention, but still.

>>33310449

>the leader has a rock solid alibi, crazy people get away with everything

It was bait. They are hunting for domestic terrorists. John was an agent.

I'll tell y'all right now, even a worm will turn. I don't care how cowardly you are, if a woman gets beaten by her husband too much one day his dinner will be filled with enough poison to kill an elephant.

If the government fucks someone over too much, they will blow up a building or go on a shooting spree. Including me.

>>33309280
Put yourself in their shoes. It's optimism. In an ideal situation it makes sense to do that. While the militia is small in peacetime 10-20 (Maybe 50 men when Democrats have a house/senate majority and Democrat president, its ranks will swell when it comes to war. Even though the numbers are small, if they are activated you need that kind of organizational architecture already in place. This is critical when it comes to the laws of war and things of that nature. It should theoretically give also give us the ability to claim prisoner of war status.
It's pants on the head insane, I know, but that's the basic gestalt of how they perceive it.

>>33311219
I still get a little emotional every time I travel through the airport in New Orleans. I spent three months of my life sleeping underneath baggage terminal three.
People shit on the guard, but the next time a fuckheug dam breaks, we might be the only ones around who can help

>>33309652
24 Years. In the Army those are every three years.

/k/ansan here, the FBI, KBI, and DHS keep a CLOSE eye on us.
>Kansans bombed OC Federal building.
>Kansas militia tried to attack mosque.
>Ft Riley is close by, meaning we can get weapons.

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>>33310378

Please elaborate, you've piqued my interest.

>>33311350
You can claim POW status if you wear a uniform and answer to chain of command. That's why Hezbollah doesn't get WALLED if they get captured.

>>33311323
Did you know that a government agent cannot lie to you? It's against the constitution. Just ask if they are a cop and then they have to tell you!

>>33309385

My call sign is baby butt toucher 2 (because there's already a 1).

>>33309652
Maybe National guard.....

Ive seen SPCs in the National guard in for 20 years. Hell, I saw a PFC in his fucking forties.

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>>33311629
Mein Neger

>>33311795
I saw a PFC that was damn near 50, if not already 50, when I was in basic. He'd eat at the DFAC every now and then.

Though I have a feeling the guy in the picture isn't really in...

>>33310696
>implying you could take a 400 pound LARPer in hand to hand combat

>>33311579
Flatlanders have nothing better to do.

Even your ranges are fairly shitty without driving fuckass far.

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>>33309280
Because you don't understand faggot!

>>33310176
Rekt.

>>33310876
Jon

Because most milita types are delusional losers with personality disorders.

>>33311971
>implying he wouldnt die of gangreene before reaching me

>>33311689

Did you know the government is absolutely shitting all over the constitution?

I'm nearly 30 and haven't been allowed to own guns my entire life. They do not obey their oaths.

Besides, they could just falsify paperwork in a legal manner, have charges against someone, hire them to be an informant, and then call them a snitch on the official documents that way they evade backlash/retribution from everyone for having spies. That person could have plans to move out of state beforehand that way when they bust people its literally nobodies fault.

There are TONS of legal ways to do these unlawful things. I'm n saying it won't get everyone in trouble, because even if killing Jews was legal you'd still get fucked for doing it. And even though the government does fucked up things that are legal in their eyes, they are still getting fucked for doing it.

>>33311997
>every week is a nuggetfest.
>yfw we've had nuggetfests before nuggetfests were cool.

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>>33309661
>2770 a.u.c.
>speak latin

>>33312227
How big?

I'm not arguing or nothing, just curious since from what I've heard, Kansas doesn't have that much 'public' land to shoot on and few ranges.

You guys just go out of state or shoot in Northwest Kansas?

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>>33310287

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>>33310449

My brother was at the range recently and some dude was asking if anyone was part of a milita.

???
>2017 in blue state.

>>33309385
>someone actually use the word "soap" as callsign

If you ever start a militia, the leader's title should simply be "commander"

Beyond that unless you ever end up with serious span of control issues, You'll never need an officer cadre with grades pushing past O3. You might give higher grades to leadership bringing in former military XP in the form of that grade, or to individuals with significant time in grade at the 03 level. But if you don't document the process and take the time to follow it and explain it, everyone will laugh at you.

Hell, even with documentation and following your rules, people will laugh at you.

//SIGNED//
An Lt with hypothermia

>>33311169
my callsign was sauerkraut cause they found out i spoke German fluently, and i had a very "hitler" way of talking.

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>>33310350
shrek is a badass
honestly expected to see this guy more often on /k/

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d-boys

>>33312540
that dog is just happy to be part of the team

>>33312540
>GOD-A FUCKING DAMNIO TUTTI YOU FORGGOTA THE DOGGO AGAIN

>>33309596
>army
>enlisted
>32 years service stripes
>SWO pin

man that guy must be a fuckin legend

>>33312569
hw spent 32 years of life getting article 15s, turning down promotions and chasing pussy

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>>33311014
>but rather as some kind of group to help respond to natural disasters with food and support
Are you an American?

If so, see if your local city or a nearby one has a CERT program. It's all pretty basic stuff: turning off utilities, extinguishing small fires, basic searches/first aid, etc. It's still good stuff to know though, so if you've got a free weekend or two, I'd recommend doing it.

It's all paid for by Uncle Sam, so everything's free* (well, as free as things paid for by your tax dollars can be). Got some free stuff out of it too.

>>33312252
People wise? Depends sometimes, 5-10 dudes to 50-100 or so.
>having friends with land.
>having local PD in militia.
Comfy/10.

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>>33312546
>Man's name is Hobbit
>He's a manlet.

>>33312758
That's MAJOR SNAKE TANGO DEVILSNIPER to you

>>33310679
I like this. I may use it.

>>33309519
Do drone pilots get their name written on their drone or how does that work?

>>33312376
Oh come on, dont be so sour, Kraut.

>>33312646
But how will i combine this with my need for dressing up like a tacticool mallninja and open-carry my Mosin and rare Pepe's?

>>33313011
Try wearing one of your MLP-shirts.
those should take the edge off and you'll blend in just fine.

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Silently shat my dick when he called me general.

Like, that's implying I should be getting my own duty driver and bitch captain.

>>33313022
MLP-shirt and chestrig...check

>>33313038
Fuckin deserve it when you go into that god-forsaken fort underleveled.
>"we gonna have a battle"
>wipe out those weak bitches
>nothinbutapeanut.coleman
>the queen bitch arises
>JESUS FUCK WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ASS FUCK SHIT ASS FUCK IS THIS FUCKING FUCK SHIT FUCK
>finally cut her down with the trusty old .308 combat rifle with red dot
>feel like I need my dick sucked and a steak in my fuckin mouth
but then I rolled up on Baldhead McFuckface, fuckin ERASED him with a fat man
>using nukes indoors
walked outside and saw ships go over, and before I knew it, the brotherhood of steel made me realize those fucksticks with crank muskets are fuckin losers.

>>33312952
Underrated post

>>33311014
I feel that, although I actually want to be part of some shit that is recognized by local law enforcement as an asset to the community. Say you have a dindu get shot by a cop. Riots kick off. Locals then call our people for protection of their businesses from dindus.

So I guess I wanna be a well-trained roof Korean type dude.

semi-related
>just found rubber slugs and shot shells at lgs
>same day I went to a gun show EARRRRLYY and didn't see fuckall
seriously, a fuckin $400 Mosin. fuck that.

>>33313066
Now go out there and show 'em, champ!

>>33311689
>Just ask if they are a cop and then they have to tell you!

That's some funny shit right there!

>>33309661
That's like if the Romans decided to speak Mesopotamian, you Mongoloid

>>33313078
>Not using the trusty semi-auto-shotgun

>>33310302
>>None of them got charged because pretty much everyone involved was on the FBI's payroll.
Why? did the agents not know about the other agents and decide on their own to infiltrate only to find out they infiltrated a group of infiltrators?

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>>33312540

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I would have thought the organisation format like what outlaw motorcycle clubs use would lend itself pretty well to militias.

You still have some semblance of hierarchy between units, with the "mother chapter" directing the others, but a militia group can't really operate the same way a professional military does.

In that way, mimicking the organisational structure of the military would be ineffective, I'd have thought. You don't have the same considerations, you don't have the same logistics or funding sources, and many of the tactics employed wouldn't be applicable to a militia.

Other civilian structures might be suitable too, like firefighters and farming cooperatives. Maybe even the Amish have a few points of interest!

>>33313178
There were like 5 people who weren't, one it's dead, the other 4 are getting charged with digging holes on federal property.

>>33313193
Yes but couldnt the FBI just coordinate and get one or two agents to go in and let the others do something else?

>>33309562
We had one pilot nicknamed "Abu" for "Attack Boom from Underneath" after he dinged up his jet and the boom during an air refuel attempt.

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>>33313167
>That's like if the Romans decided to speak Mesopotamian,
>you Mongoloid
. . .

>>33310269
because IRL militias are stocked to the rafters with THAT GUYS, meatball heads, compulsive liars, paranoid schizophrenics, closet cases, every rank of fuckup from E1 to O9, brass band dumbasses, religious loonies, incompetents, and every stripe of losers.

one guy i knew was so full of shit, he would wear tigerstripe and would try to impress mentally retarded girls with the story from Modern Warfare 2, saying it was based on his life story.

>>33313189
It would because it's an effective structure, but LARPers won't have it. (Former 3-piece patch here, but was not entitled to wear 1% diamond. Got out because my military enlistment was enough that I didn't care for the hierarchy elsewhere. It was fun but not all it's cracked up to be.)

>>33309385
Yeah we just used normal naming conventions where I was from. Color of platoon and positron was your call sign.
Red 1= red platoon leader
4=psg
2/3=section sergeant
Then identifiers if they were a crew member.
Red1D = red platoon driver
G=gunner
L= loader
Eagle=dismount

>>33312758
At my previous work we've had a guy who was quite short and we called him hobbit too.

>>33309280
This, really
>>33311350
Their inflated rank structure is created by the delusion that they will serve as cadre for a much larger force when the balloon goes up. They don't want to have to constantly reassign ranks as recruiting in times of trouble occurs, so they imagine a force structure and put themselves at the top of it.

Never mind that they don't have the experience to go along with the authority...

>>33313226

I'd love to see SHTF and see Colonel Colon up there get a new recruit.

>What did you do before?
>US Army MAJ, somethingsomethingcombat unit.
>Oh yeah well I'm a COLONEL so I'm boss okay?

>>33313172
>not using the explosive auto shotgun to purge everything under the sun

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When you're the boss, you can call yourself whatever you want.

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>>33309702
Mine was "Peepers" due to some resemblance to Chris Kattan

>>33313247
Not traveling through the Mojave instead

>>33312980
oh ha ha, never heard that one before.

>>33309385
>get called "bear", or sometimes "teddy"
>because I have a high metabolism and have more body heat, during freezing cold def ops everyone wants to hug me for that body heat

>>33309596
>>33311795

I was thinking National Guard also. While I'm not quite sure why he has the old dress blue service stripes on an ASU jacket while wearing a beret, his ribbons and awards aren't actually fucked up and there isn't anything indicating other than that indicating he's wrong.I actually know a few ex Sailors that switched over to the Guard so this could be real, he just fucked up and put the wrong service stripes on. He's also old as fuck and medical so him having a shit load of time in service along with being an E5 isn't out of the realm of possibility.

>>33309280
Lieutenants do not have independent commands. Major and Colonels do.

Also the reason that the state of Kentucky gives honorary Colonel commissions rather than something else.

>>33309280
Probably was an E-1 shitbag with an other than honorable discharge.

>>33313595
Unless if that's actually an old dress blue jacket, then he's fucked up for wearing a beret with it, not id it's an ASU jacket. I've never compared ASU and dress blue jackets so I can't honestly tell. Looks like dress blue service stripes on an ASU coat to me though. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

>>33310203
lot's of sailors switch over to the Army (Guard/Reserve) and have these. This could be real.

>>33311014
>>33312646
>>33313111

>National Guard

>>33309280
In the days of the colonial militia you ranks depended on how many men you pulled in.

Every militia needed an officer so through popular acclaim or election they'd be appoitned to the ranks.

Though it used to be Major or Captain that were more popular. Large groups with other officers would use colonel

>>33312277
He dropped it

>>33311014
Make or join a local prepper group. Depends on the people of course, but they can be quite sane and full of friendly people. The ones near me even offer courses on canning, butchering, first aid and wilderness response (run by a nurse who works at the hospital and a firefighter), etc. It's mostly just a close knit neighborhood kind of feel that happens to be like an adult version of the Scouts.

Don't call it a militia and you're golden.

>>33313662
>gets deployed to afghanistan and dies when he just wanted to help his specific local community.

>>33309519
And 4,000 confirmed deaths.
https://www.myinstants.com/instant/kill-confirmed/

>>33311579
Kansas should be nuked. Along with most of Middle America flyoever land.

>>33312214
>I'm nearly 30 and haven't been allowed to own guns my entire life

You sound like a degenerate with a criminal history.

>>33314467
>t. ass blasted CTR

>>33312190
This.

/Thread

>>33309385

My callsign was "Dad." Don't even have kids.

>>33312540

>when the pasta al dente

>>33309519
Tanks 4 ur cervix

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>>33310287
lmao this is gold.

>>33309280
>arizona watchmen

jesus christ these retards are in my state?

My nickname was spiderman, cause i got bit by a spider on my first day with them

>>33309352
The same reason people believe patently false conspiracy nonsense. They want to feel important, like they're anything else but a small cog in a very large machine.

>>33309562
Generally true, although if you have outstanding physical features you're liable to get a nickname or callsign from that too.

>>33314886
>Muffmmm
>Ya know, we got a lot o' unrest heeere
>Even in thiis here militia we gots problems
>*Takes swig of Mountain Dew from his camelback*
>Mhhhhhmmmff
>Fella came up here last year and tried ta' get into it
>Said I was fat, said I wouldn't hack in when shit hit the fan
>I toooolllld him to keep quiet
>Told him it was fer his own good
>He took a swing at me rite in the midda a militia meeting
>So I ate him
>Ate him whole infronna everybody
>Ain't nobody question me as Colonel no more.

>>33314898
>>33314886
>>33310287
Militia fag here.

The only reason these people get any coverage is because they're retarded enough to get views from people. They're a spectacle, that's why they were chosen.

Most militias I know have only 3 ranks and it's usually the militia commander, the militiamen, and the group leaders.

They don't want to show real militias that are effective because they are fucking boring. It's just the commander training the group leaders how to do things like selecting proper 2 month food supply storage containers for the group leaders to show their militiamen. It's literally boy scouts tier. Fuck, boy scouts probably shoot more guns than us.

>>33311951
i was on midtour and found out their is some Costa rician nastygurl running around with the same social security number as me.

>>33310500
>sign up for National Guard to "help in disasters"
>"weekend warrior"
>get called up to drive a truck in Bumfuckistan
>get rekt by IED

>>33309522
A friend knows a guy who's callsign is "Poison". Story is he drank way too much at his rehearsal dinner and pissed his pants as he slept on his soon-to-be mother in law's couch.

Poison = Pissed On Inlaw's Shit One Night

>>33315011
Don't drive into IEDs, stupid.

Also:
>I wanna be a tough guy warrior
>Waaaah, I'm getting actual combat experience I can take home

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>>33310287
>wearing UCP voluntarily

>>33310287
>that ranger school washout who starts tearing up when talking about "protecting and saving" americans

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>>33315039
>When you realize that was literally their most experienced military guy.

>>33314961
This

Also i'm in a IN state militia. Nantz is a fat fuck boi.

Being in a militia is boring and retarded as fuck. It really is. The only good to come out of wadding through dozens of fucking retards is that I've found about 12 guys who I can go do legit training with. Since i've been in I've managed to get Rifle/pistol training from former Mil instructors, medical instruction on how to use my IFAK from three trauma nurses, comms shit from the HAM faggots and some land we can go ruck on whenever we want. But for the %90 of it, its just a bunch of faggots running around playing soldier n shit.

>>33315011
>2 weekends a month 1 week a year.
lol

>>33310287
>NUCULAR REACTURRS

>>33315030

> U.S. NATIONAL guard
> Assigned to convoy in Afghanistan

See the problem? Change the God damned name then. The point is to offer civil service to my fellow citizens at home, not abroad.

>>33314886
>presents himself as a redpilled prepper ready for when SHTF
>struggles to lift a single box of canned beef

>>33315030

> I wanna be a tough guy warrior
> Get combat experience

I think you meant 'stuck behind an Intel desk as a power point ranger across the Bab al-Mandab straight'. Fuck that shit.

>>33311579
>Ft Riley is close by, meaning we can get weapons
Explain how exactly, you play on raiding 1st ID
Also,
>willingly stepping fit on riley, ever

>>33315701
As intel I want to argue but can't

>>33309385
my nickname whenever I'm in the woods with friends or whatever is Rusty Shackleford

>>33311579
Kansas is a poor shithole of a state that no one cares about.

>>33315865
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What%27s_the_Matter_with_Kansas%3F

Someone even wrote a book about how much of an economic and intellectual dump Kansas is, feel proud.

>>33313402
>Not fighting the Master instead.

>>33315792

> Yeah bro, you're totally going to see some crazy shit in SRF school.

*psst*, tell that Captain I got him a guy coming over with fucking LaTeX and PDF experience. Superscript, justified margins, all that shit.

>>33314501
Go back to /pol/ bitch

>>33315900
I mean I've gotton to support some pretty cool ops and do some good analysis (PowerPoint bitch isn't my actual job) but we sure sit around and do nothing alot

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>>33315730
>>33311579
I wonder how many militia men you would need to take on an infantry division in their own base?
40,000?
60,000?
I feel like even if you managed to outnumber them 10 to 1 it would probably end up similar to Jadotville, where the milita would be too disorganized and cowardly to concentrate their force properly and the defenders would just mow them down in the field. Well, they would mow them down right up until the airforce came in and turned them into dust.

>>33315730
Explain how the novorussians in Ukraine got armed.

>>33310287
>dat simulated firefight in the end
>the fat fuck tries to reach for the gun of the other fat fuck and falls on his ass down a berm instead

this has to be a disinfo campaign, these guys can't be serious at all

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>>33310287
belly laughs the whole way through

>>33315874
>Koch brothers
>1# in avionics manufacturing.
>poor.
>listening to leftest propaganda.
>ever.
How does it feel to be retarded?

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>>33315931
>He doesn't know.

>>33313111
>$400 mosin
Saw a PU mosin at my LGS for about that much a few years ago before the prices started skyrocketing. Kinda wish I would have bought it

>>33315924

Honest question, how did you know you did good analysis? Do the MI corps do any types of analytics tracking or post mortems to determine their margins of error, etc?

>>33313557
Also, because of your desire to wear chains, leather and hanging out at rowdy gay bars?

>be me
>innawoods with some cousins hunting deer
>running bare hand across a log like an idiot
>get huge af splinter in left ring finger
>splinter needs to be dug out with a sewing needle
>radio callsign is now "Wood" and has been ever since.

>>33310287
FIVE
THOUSAND
DOLLAR
BOUNTY
okay bruh

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>>33309385
>make captain
>still get called Lt. Dan

Fuck you Forrest Gump you ruined my life

>>33310287
lmfao these retards are growing corn for their garden. good job boys, you'll get infested with disease soon enough

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>>33310287
FUCKING
MENSA

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>Tfw you'll never have your own milita that protects civilians in the time of crisis, upholding the highest moral and working together like a well oiled machine, taking out vital points in the enemy structures and helping re-take your country

;_;

>>33309280
At my militia, we just call our leader Our Master.

>>33314587
Probably means you have a stick up your ass like the average perception of a father would be.

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>>33312952

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>>33310287
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>MENSA
Organization discarded

>>33316177
Hello, Captain Lt. Dan

>>33316177
almost know that feel, had a 2nd lt. named Hartman, who later became lt. But everyone close to him called him Sergeant Hartman whenever he got mad.

>>33309280
He's probably a reservist officer late in his career. For guys who have been in 30 years it's pretty hard NOT to be a lieutenant colonel.

>>33312016
When you have to start lining up medals on your pants, I think it's time to stop and think about why you gave yourself so many medals.

>>33316508
Knew a Major Gunderson, everyone called him Gunny and he was cool with it.

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>>33316479
>Hey Cap want some ice cream. ICEE CREAAAM
>bent over exhausted cpl points to C130, "that's mah boat."
>go for a run
>"YOU GOT NEW LEGS!"

I'M FINE

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>be dumbshit teenager
>dad is big into paintball,
>real guns too, though.
>don't really like paintball, but i want to do things with my dad
>we play on this old dudes field.
>dude was in 'Nam, pictures of him and other vietnam related shit all over one corner of his shop
>we play there for a few years near every weekend
>he invites us to his "team"
>play paintball in the morning till noon
>Do shit like 3 gun matches and distance shooting till 3 or 4
>dude even has a kill house that gets set up differently every other week
>since i'm like 16 at the time, i get is the nugget reserved for the retards who forget to bring a gun
>me and dad have a blast
>when i turn 18, get let into the big boy meetings
>it's essentially just going over stills from Google Maps. Like the local court house, super markets, that sort of thing
>over the next year or two, i learn all of this is for either preparing for some SHTF, or outright revolution
>kill house (really, the whole field is) is made to be modular and moveable
>notice every time the field is redone, it's in the general layout of one of the stills that was done in the "briefings"
>at the time, not really into the whole "revolution" idea
>roll with it anyway
>get more and more into it as time goes on
>Eventually, someone squeals on 'Nam dude to the feds and he gets brought in on some NFA related charge.
>wife leaves him and takes "her" half, which ends up including the field
>she sells the land
>team sorta splinters
>still talk to some of the dudes over facebook occasionally

It was cozy as fuck. I honest to God doubt i'll ever stumble into one of those again. Though it was more like a "get drunk and do 2 gun" kinda group than a "Militia", but it felt real to me, damnit. It's only because of those guys that i learned to stop worrying and started to love the gun.

>>33310287
Just watched this abomination. These are typical inbred, braindead, fat, sister fucking, bad teeth noodnicks that made of the bulk of the Doomsday Preppers, Teabaggers, and most anyone else in Fly Over land... and Trump voters.

Quite sad.

Que... "liberal, reddit, commi, fag, etc" retorts.

>>33310287
To be fair, the discovery channel is well known for scripting their reality shows and dropping their subjects if they don't play ball.

>>33314961
>>33315071
Sure thing Cletus. You oil up the Commander and fuck him in the ass this weekend?

>>33317336

You just described 90% of all Americans m8.

>>33310269
Because usually they're made in places where shit doesn't happen, so basically it's a bunch of people LARPing with camo and guns and jerking off about how many niggers they would kill if they could.

>>33315030
>actual combat experience I can take home

COMBAT. EXPERIENCE. I. Can.
TAKE.
HOME.

Jesus Christ.

>>33310287
holy hell, was the fucking voice warper that makes them all sound like Decepticons really necessary? I'm torn between cringing into another dimension and my sides flying off into orbit

>>33317336
Just admit that a flyover dweller stole your boyfriend already.

>>33317392
I think one of the group leaders does.

I have no confirmation but they seem fairly close.

>>33310287
>literally bagging and tagging new recruits and driving them to their secluded gay love dungeon like fucking ISIS

Ahahahahahahahahahahaha, I really hope China invades so I can see these fuckers executed live on CNN

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>>33313217
Yeah I was just [Unit Name]-9

>>33315011
>muh PTSD
But you got that Gov Welfare now right?

>>33310287
The storage at the Indiana "compound" is fucking laughable. My basement is better prepared and more organized and I'm not even a prepper. At one point he literally motions to their TWO COLEMAN LANTERNS and says how they're prepared for a total power-blackout. I'm embarrassed that they're from my great state of Indiana

>>33310287
>Less than a minute in.
>Fat guy with shitty goatee saying "We could have a nuclear meltdown!!!"
>Guy talking about the border like he wouldn't shit himself if he was facing cartel gunmen.
>Some faggot who has the "Hide my identity" pussy bullshit.

Thank you anon....the scary music is laughable too.

Well color me surprised!

>>33317546
this.

also
>"for me the militia it's defending our liberties and everything our founding fathers stood for!"
>surrender your guns and get hostaged by the first fuck in camo gear that crosses your path

I mean, it's all LARPing in the end, but don't they feel at least a little stupid for such incoherence?

>>33316787
So, you're contractor now? Not like an "operator" but an actual sub-contractor with a pick up truck and a ladder?

>>33317646
You can tell 90% don't even have any kind of EMS, LEO, or military background. At one point the fat fuck actually says they keep tampons to insert into bullet wounds and cover up. Apparently nobody told him that's probably the best way to turn a survivable puncture wound into a full-fledged infection that Tubby's supply of ibuprofen and pepto bismol isn't prepared to deal with.

>>33309385
My call sign was Shark Bait.


Because I failed my initial swim qualification.

>>33314467
But that's FARMLAND you fuckin' commie CTR faGGOT

>>33315987
Reports do get graded and there are several programs to track stats and the like, at least in the agency I'm with

>>33317437
I would really like to email MENSA and ask them if that retard is actually a member because I guaran-fuckin-tee that guys IQ sits somewhere around room temperature

>>33317537
Why, are "flyover dwellers" faggots too? I thought Brokeback Mountain was fiction. Who would have thought it was a documentary, Learn something new every day.

>>33317646
>but don't they feel at least a little stupid for such incoherence?
This is assuming the show isn't staged, but things are easy to say, and much harder to do.

>>33317409
>90% of all Americans
>100% flyover country.
Agreed.

Now, I'm a gun loving NYC liberal commie reddit faggot, but I don't subscribe to the popular InfoWars Shit Hits The Fan Conspiracy of the day.

I have my guns just to blast shit, and in the rare case that Muslim Nigger Zombie Ninjas will attack my home and not to repel Obama Jack Boots coming to "git muh guns"

>>33310287
Holy Fat Fucks Batman!
There is no way I can take any of these guys seriously as military personnel.

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>>33317700
Everyone is a faggot now. The frogs, Flyover staters, you.

Especially you.

>>33309385

>Northern Fleet in early 1990s
>Regimental callsign is Baikonur
>Not because of elan, but because the regimental AD battery once attempted to fire on a returing space craft and the commander was sacked.
>One platoon nets itself callsign "compass"
>Not because naming convention, but because they got lost and didnt have a compass
>A pioneer platoon gets called Ferrit because they kept a Fennik as a pet, yes that's confusing
>A squad briefly is called "Off switch" because they had a black guy, before we found out he was just really tan and from Armenian
>I wonder what our platoon will be called!
>Hit an Orca on manuver on ship
>Oh sweet now we'll be called Orca or Whaler or something
>Roadkill one-two to base...

>>33313189
cell structure would be smarter. good way to do it would be through small team sports leagues: good reason for 4 guys to know each other, to travel and provides a basic code words that can be used (though in conjunction with bookcode for anything that has to be written).

>>33317781
>but because the regimental AD battery once attempted to fire on a returing space craft
nigga you know you cant mention something like that and not tell the full story

>>33309385
This. My call sign was Scrubs because i was the corpsman and all the corpsman got hospital show name call signs.

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>>33310287
>"the first time I ever shot an AK-47 assault rifle and the magazine fell out on me"
>It's an AR15

>>33318055
You know, while it's easy to zero in on that dude, think bigger picture about the "cadre's" failure: They put an admittedly untrained and unexperienced dude on a fucking "advanced" style tacticool training line and then instead of anybody teaching him anything, they just yell and get in his face like a movie Drill Sergeant.

Also, that part where they are doing a group walk and shoot, and one dude stops with a malfunction or something, so they all stop, then the "cadre" guy gets in their faces for not continuing forward. Uh, walking in front of other shooters is the desired result here? That fuck.

>>33310287
"Colonel" Nantz is the cringiest of them all. That fat fuck couldn't run cirlces around a donut without having a heart attack. Fuck my mouth on jet skis this shit is horrible. I was offered $200 to do a CLS class for a local militia and i was considering it. I might charge that per hour if they're anything like this. Awful.

>>33309645
Yeah, I don't want some strange motherfucker I don't know playing soldier for my "protection".

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>>33318094
Fucking this. There were so many god damned situations in this that were so fucking unsafe.
>"""Drill instructor""" walks in front of these retards on the firing line, trusting them to just not touch the trigger while simultaneously reprimanding a guy for keeping his finger on the trigger
>"""DI""" has two recruits WALK AHEAD OF THE FIRING LINE TO ADVANCE TO THE NEXT STATION WHILE OTHER PEOPLE ARE STILL FUCKING SHOOTING REEEEEEE
>retarded simulated firefight at the end where I saw no less than 3 people stick the muzzle of their fucking rifles into the dirt when they fell, and since I'm assuming they have no idea how to even clean their guns there's probably going to be a nasty surprise next time they go shoot
>fake drama bullshit where they actually said they could start a war between Mexico and the United States if they point their guns south of the border
>the fucking cringey sweep and clear they did of the house FILLED WITH CHILDREN, WITH LOADED WEAPONS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Child protective services needs to come and remove all of the children from these fucking hicks. This documentary was from like 5 years ago so I'm guessing by now one of these mongoloids has ND'd and killed his kid

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>>33318194
>implying you're prepared to deal with the REAL Apex predators when society collapses
"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

>>33311014
Why not join the Red Cross? Dealing with disasters is literally what they do.

>>33318335
>the Red Cross
A bunch of corrupt, virtue signalling cunts in it to pad their wallets(executives) and their resumes(90% of the volunteers). Don't waste your time. Much better off joining your local St John's Ambulance detachment, or your local Ground Search and Rescue.
t. Former Red Cross volunteer

>>33311689
LEOs, both federal and local, are allowed by law to lie in the pursuit of their duty. The "feds can't lie" meme needs to die.

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>>33318370
Not too good at picking up that sarcasm, are you?

>>33309385
I wanted the callsign 'Dickfag,' or 'Cockmunch.' The rest of the guys in the group responded poorly. When I labelled our rally point 'Auschwitz,' and they freaked out, I knew militias weren't for me.

>>33309385
Two army shooting ground guard posts close to each other:
>silver
>fang

>>33315979
They got SOME of their shit from Pappa Putin.

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>>33318410
>mfw want to use my nickname from the muhreens inna militia
>nobody wants to call me "faggot" over the radio

>>33309385
I've got a "Blondie", a "Wasabi" and a "Circus" in my newest batch of dismounts.

Know a guy who got the nickname "Zero" because he "zeroed" ie blanked his groups radio during a LRRP excersise so instead of checking in by radio every six hours they had to send two guys on skis back to report. Not popular.

>>33318359
That is the exact opposite of my experience with them. May I assume that you're Canadian?

>>33309978
Explain

>>33318748
>May I assume that you're Canadian?
Spot on. I'm glad to hear they're running things properly in your neck of the woods, at least.

>>33318404
>implying there's that much of a difference between someone pretending to be retarded and someone who's actually retarded

>>33318710
>skis
Canadian? Finn?

>>33318788
Google snipe hunt, friend.

>>33310287

Lmfao these fat fucks bagging their new recruits

>>33312546
>TDKR CIA guy
>ooh, whats his name
>Brandon

>>33318805
Swede.

>>33318863
Ah ok. So y'all carry XC skis in your vehicles?

>>33318788
>tfw there's elbow grease when you aren't looking for it but there's never any chem-light batteries

>>33318889
The CV90 is designed with a compartment for skis and a sled at the back, to the left of the doors that the dismounts use.
It's rare to use it for that purpose for units in the southern half of the country, we still get winter but usually not enough snow to make it impossible to walk in.

"Zero" is in an arctic ranger battalion though so they use skis much more than we do in the mechanized units.

>>33318933
Neat design feature. A lot of my guys like to use snowshoes but our unit is broke as fuck so most guys use personal equipment during training anyways.

I don't really even need a militia. I can figure out weapons stuff on my own. I really just want a group focused on medical, communications, teamwork, hiking, etc.

>>33315904
not an argument

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>>33310287
>When you wake up in the morning, the whole world could be a big pile of shit

I must be living in the future

>>33319045
Search and Rescue might be a good place for you to meet people and learn some skills, man. Look up your local organization.

>>33318799
More or less. Any large organization is going to have a certain level of bullshit, and the resume padding is certainly a thing, but most of the people I work with legitimately want to help.

My callsign was goat...Short for goatfucker...Because I got drunk and kept on talking about how "the Greeks had it fucking made" and "I'd totally bang a saytr if you let me"
I don't even want to fuck a goat, I want to fuck a QT saytr which is completely different imo.

>>33317748
my dude you sound like the people in the video

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>>33319278
>tfw no winegoat gf

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>>33319278
>the greeks had it made
lmao

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>>33309661
#noprofligatesallowed

>>33310287
>florida hurricanes are a given and the chaos afterwards is unpredictable

cat 3 hurricanes are babbies play

>>33310287
Safe drinking water must be filtered AND disinfected. If they knew basic dosing they could chlorinate that water after filtering it to make sure they dont get sick drinking downstream from some shit.

>>33311971
i would just step backwards and force him to follow me. eventually his SPAM reserves would run dry and he wold collapse

>>33309596
>be me
>going to local chinese fastfood
>happen to be wearing ROTC t-shirt
>cashier gives me military discount, even after i point out i haven't actually joined yet.
>be stolen valor

>>33313247
>not using the explosive assault rifle with scope and 60 round mag

>>33309385
Mattis' is CHAOS, for colonel has an outstanding solution

>>33316532
It's a photoshop

>>33314927
Outstanding doesn't nalways mean good. I got called Squints due to my apparent resemblance to the sandlot character of the same name.

>>33310287
>Stealth mode
>Recons the situation

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>>33310287
I'll just leave this screen shot here..

>>33310350
>an incredible feat of retard strength
kek

>>33310449
John sounds like Tyler Durden

>>33309385
>get caught jacking off in porta shitter.
>New call sign is now "Dick Skinner"
>Eventually becomes "Skinner"
>Get called this for 4 years and eventually get a Tat that says Skinner.
>Now when my kids ask about the tat, I tell them the Simpson's reference of living with my mom (Mom lived in Irvine and was with 5th Marines, 20 min drive from Camp Mateo)
>I have a tattoo that references me getting caught jacking off when I was a boot.

>>33315928
I really do hate to say this, but military bases would be stupid easy to attack. I've personally lived on two. A well planned attack could hurt a base real bad. Now, trying to snatch and grab weapons or ammo wont happen, as everything like that are in vaults or bunkers. But a straight up attack, easy as fuck.

The perimeter is literally a chainlink fence. In some places I could crawl under it, or very easily climb over. Someone takes a vehicle and drives through? Game over.

People think we all walk around rocking weapons. Only the MPs are armed at any given time, and not even all of them. Depending on security status, there /might/ be a QRF element, but I"ve never heard of one. Units wouldn't be able to arm themselves, as ammo isn't stored at the units, only weapons. So we'd have a bunch of fancy clubs.

I'd say a group of 50 dudes could seriously fuck a military base.

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>>33309385
>tfw callsign slug because i wacked one during bootcamp and got cum all over the floor as i slide around in the barracks during the surprise midnight pt

>>33310758
Well anon, the thing is, most militas don't make waves. They are just groups of friends.

And if you're going to bring up the cartels, we have all that shit and probably some of the deadliest street gangs on earth. The Bloods and Crips are sort of militias, and they have killed thousands.

>>33321055
Been on a mix of Army and Air Force Bases. QRF does exist, and once the situation because clear, weapons and ammo would get handed out real quick. Armor and cav units would hop in their shit real quick too. Likely people would grab guns from base housing as well.

>>33321332
That's why I bring up shit like mafias or gangs like outlaw bikers. Some of them in countries like Sweden used to shoot stolen rocket launchers at each other.

Its just that most militias are designed to give a movement or a community a form of military power. Including your friends but in other parts of the world they are powerful alternatives to governments with some surprising civilian and corruption networks that could harness their host nations.

Such as the SS who took over Germany, Hezbollah who runs Lebanon, or the Balkan militias that carved out Yugislavia into the nexus of their current countries.

>>33316532
its for dear leader anon

>>33310287
I'm 8 min it and all this has done has reconfirmed my belief that fat people have just 0 redeeming qualities.

>>33314956
My sides

>>33320697
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON

>>33309280
i never got that, either. if you're gonna have made up titles, go full blown fantasy like the KKK. Exalted Cyclops, Grand Wizard...those guys were dressed as ghosts calling each other shit like that...100 years before D&D

>>33309280
>my name is Blurryface

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>>33309385
People called me Jimmy Neutron because of my massive head.

>>33319534
The last part was a joke you nudnik.

>>33320314
>>33309522
>>33315023
>>33313203
Is it a coincidence that the military and the Kids Next Door share naming schemes?

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>>33309385
I earned the name Squirrely. Not because I was energetic or because I talked alot, but because when we were sleeping in the woods a squirrel got into my bag and under my shirt and bit the fuck out of me before he decided my panicked thrashing wasn't worth his time and ran off.

>>33317877
I second this motion.

>>33309522
My AFJROTC SASI was an F4 pilot. His callsign was Goober because he'd dip peanuts in Dr. Pepper

>>33309661
Real life Caesars legion when?

>>33311014
If you're interested in learning about ham radio, you could always join ARES (or your regional equivalent)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amateur_Radio_Emergency_Service

They help provide comms and coordinate response during emergencies, such as helping with 911 dispatch, passing welfare traffic (letting disaster affected people get messages to their family that they're safe), etc. These guys also run comms for all kinds of events, e.g. car rallies, races, conventions, etc. as a way of keeping in-practice.

Actually there is a good article here ( http://www.arrl.org/news/radio-amateurs-provide-communication-support-in-boston-marathon-bombings-updated ) about Ham radio operators during the Boston marathon bombing, when they had to go from routine operations to full-swing disaster mode, makes for interesting reading.

look at this shit, especially at 2:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mIz4Nr5p6E&spfreload=10

>>33309385
Callsign was Dirty Sanchez because of my last name

>>33315701
>PowerPoint ranger

I keked

>>33316177
ICE CREAM

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>>33322356

>>33317336
>Que... "liberal, reddit, commi, fag, etc" retorts.
>Que
You're one to talk. You can't even spell the wrong word.

>>33317781
>>Not because of elan, but because the regimental AD battery once attempted to fire on a returing space craft and the commander was sacked.
Topkek. Story now.

>>33309522
Like John "crash'a plane" McCain?

>>33309385
GILF...

Because at 23 you're apparently a grandpa.

>>33326034
McCain's callsign should have been "Ace".

>>33314467
>let's destroy the only part of the nation that keeps our fat, coastal, asses from starving

Right.

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>>33310287
>That dramatic sound that plays when the guy mentions he stores tampons

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>>33315858

>>33320199
anon, with the explosive auto shotgun with extendo clips, we dont need to aim.

>>33309352

Just like real officers!

>>33309385

My nickname was "Gooch". The small area between your ballsack and asshole. Got caught with a brown bagger leaving the barracks room and said she was the only one nasty enough to lick my gooch during blowjobs. Feels good man.

>>33326499
This nigga gets it

>>33310287
>42 minutes
You have to be shitting me

>>33317992
Was there a guy called "House"?

>>33310287
>Bragging about a $5,000 bounty

If the cartels actually cared the bounty would be muuuuuuch higher.

>>33310287
>literal boot failure
>chokes up knowing that 20 years ago he washed out
>CONTINUES TO TRY AND LIVE OUT HIS OPERATOR FANTASY

Thank god /k/ isn't THIS autistic

>>33310287
>>>>>>19:20
>>>>>>doesn't know how to load his firearm
this game isn't fun any more