The military has recruited you to design a field ration for whatever

I would issue a gelatin paste that contains every nutrient and macronutrient your body needs, vanilla flavor, with bubblegum to make sure your jaw muscles don't atrophy

https://www.soylent.com/

Why the fuck does the military need gormet meals or some shit. Just feed them whatever it takes to get the job done

COFFEE, PASTRIES, COFFEE FLAVORED PASTRIES

>>33141734
Beer (PBR or High Life), club crackers, and canned chili.

Most popular meal by a landslide.

>>33141734
People.

>>33141752
>Why the fuck does the military need gormet meals or some shit.
Because, believe it or not, having a nice meal can do a lot for morale after 18 hours of patrolling the shittiest countries on the planet.

>>33141752

Because meal fatigue can ruin an army.

>>33141776
I don't give a shit, that's what they signed up for. All they need is food that provides them with the things their bodies need to function. They can eat fucking spaghetti and tacos when they get home, retard.

>>33141752

Soylent is the shit, fuck wasting time on food.

>>33141779
>waahhhh I want new food I'm going to suck at fighting now :(((

If that is the kind of pussies the military recruits I think some reforms are in order.

It's fucking RAWWWWWW YOU DONKEY

>>33141797
what kind of army do you think functions better?
one who is having the time of there lives killing various sandy colored fellows
or one whose working it like a 9/5 boring office job?

>>33141792
Soylent is overpriced as fuck. If you work it out it comes down to paying like $10 a day for food which is fucking retarded when it is much cheaper and just as easy to go buy local produce and shit and make a balanced diet. I live off of $6 a day on food, and even with that I buy organic shit and stuff every now and then.

>>33141812
Stop taking the tasteless bait.

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>>33141734
>baked alaska
are you 75?
>baked alaska
actually pretty easy

Caffeinated beer, Jolly Ranchers dusted with cocaine, Ring Dings with 18% alcohol and meth infused jerky

>>33141812
Are you implying food makes a fucking difference? Every grunt in the military hates their fucking life and regrets enlisting. I really don't give a shit about the comfort of the troops. They're there to do a job. Feed them with whatever costs the absolute least amount of money per kcal and provides them with all the nutrients they need. Keep them clothed and in good health, and make sure they have ammunition. Other than that, fuck em. If they don't like shitting in a pot, sleeping in the dirt, and eating disgusting monotonous food day after day, they should have gone to college.

JALOPANO CHEESE

>>33141812
>>33141776
acutally, soylent might solve plenty of problems

use soylent food during patrol, and when yo uget back to FOB you get to have a good meal

of course for soldier who are stuck on a fucking mountain for a week, oyu can give them basic MRE instead of some paste

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>>33141797

In the 1940s the average MRE (your only food for an entire day) only contained 900 calories. This resulted in a lot of servicemen losing extreme amounts of weight and having to consult villages, towns or even the enemy (yes really) just to ensure they didn't starve to death. This is why your staple WWII era piece of media always contains a kindly French villager or whatever the fuck cooking the soldiers a nice meal, the production companies during the era like Heinz were woefully uneducted and not at all aware of what a soldier would need nutritionally.

Things didn't improve a whole ton later as rations commonly missed out on vitamins, minerals and dietary fiber, which meant that pork loaf you ate four times a week sat in your stomach like a rock and corked in your asshole so bad you could have shot it at the enemy if you ran out of ammunition. When did this horrible trend start to taper off? The nineteen-goddamn-nineties.

Nevermind the fact that you'd have soldiers stockpiling whatever they could, from cigarettes to entire rations themselves, to trade for just one French or Italian MRE. They were so bad that at one point you could trade three entire meals for just one foreign box of food because they actually knew what they were doing.

If your MRE sucks your army is going to fucking die you imbecile. They aren't robots and a thing called morale exists.

Special liquid that makes your shit edible and tasty.

No more packets and it is endless food.

>33141786
Not even worth a (you).

Beans, rice, canned meat (SPAM, ARMOR, vienna sausages, etc.), powdered milk or a soda, and a bar of dark chocolate for dessert. Nuts and jerky for snacks.

>>33141786
>how to have a mutiny in 1 easy step

presuming we have unlimited funds
main meal:
fillet steak in peppercorn sauce and some green goodies packed in for good measure with one of the heater packs you get in US packs
side
side/snack thing;
dry fried mince meat and rice with some flavouring as well as bell pepper
breakfast:
oats... thats it if its good enugh for the belgians and for me its good enugh for your sorry ass
snacks/extra food:
those browns biscuits because they are GOAT
some kind of nut trail mix for eating while on the go sandy kilin
the regular confort pack from UK rations because its perfect already
an extra 19 packs of the peanut butter stuff because we got into fights over that shit

honestly the UK rations are already about as good as they get I honestly would rather eat them over my own cooking because I genuinely enjoy them

>>33141752
You try it faggot

Most canned food nowadays is actually pretty good for what it is. You could straight up give them cans of chili and spam and stuff and it would work out well so long as you included a heater.

Figure out a way to package canned vegetables too, like yams or mushrooms, for the necessary fiber. Include a digestive biscuit that doubles as a dessert.

A little baggy of vitamins, fish oil and a probiotic. Some of that orange shit that's supposed to help prevent colds too.

A package of powdered drink like Kool-Aid (I've honestly never had one of these) and a package of coffee with some creamer.

Some utensils. A wax bag to carry around whatever you don't eat or just want to save for later, if it's possible. A beer. Rations will randomly contain playing cards, a Pokemon figurine or a porno mag.

>>33141877
also you can shoot the targets on the box when your bored

>>33141906
>a Pokemon figurine
Fuck yeah, best MRE ever.

Pemmican, multivitamin, caffeine pills.

>>33141906
you basically described what we already have (for the uk at least)
also
>a Pokemon figurine
have you seen what happens when military guys all get there hands on the same funny thing?
this is how a cult starts
I would give it a few weeks until we would have guys killing insurgents in the name of charizard
(on second thought pokemon figs are an excellent idea good work anon!)

>>33141752
Let's see you eat shit for a deployment. No? Then fuck you with a bayonet.

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>>33141906
>a Pokemon figurine

I cant tell if you are a genius or an idiot

real answer: vacuum-sealed stews and starches, same concept as MRE, just rotate some different recipes through the production line every couple years and include hot sauce in each one. If they wanted to, there could be all kinds of different meals. Imagine getting saag paneer in an MRE. Or chile verde.

/k/ answer: breakfast is two bran muffins and an extra-large serving of instant coffee

>>33141906
>a Pokemon figurine
This is an MRE, not a fucking happy meal.

I kinda wish it was true though, can I get a Psyduck?

>>33141953
>caffeine pills
>not just restarting production of pervitin and steamrolling your enemies with hopped up soldiers

>>33141830
>If they don't like shitting in a pot, sleeping in the dirt, and eating disgusting monotonous food day after day, they should have gone to college.
Are you, perchance, an Arab?

Somehow preserve 5 guys burgers
>American Warrior

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>>33141734
>What do you pack into your proposed ration?

>>33141752

I'll use some soylent green, with a slice of soylent orange and some soylent coleslaw.

>>33142050
If hype had a flavor maybe.

>>33142025
hey if it takes up fuck all room and is cheap enugh I can see something like this throwing moral thrugh the roof maybe even rotate the toys like mcdonalds every month...

I can see it now a group of troops sat in the worst place known to man, they've been under fire for days yet when all traces of moral should be gone there sat around a fire shitting and giggling over what fucking pokemon they got in that days MRE

>>33142083
I tried it. I was like a jazzed up middle school burger

MRE pizza soon

>>33141906
>A beer.
Nope, water is heavy and the soldier is already going to be carrying water separately. The only efficient way to carry alcohol is as a concentrate(aka liquor), and that comes with all sorts of issues you don't want to put up with in the field. Beer with hot rats might be a nice motivator, but keep it out of the field rats.

>>33141956
>this is how a cult starts
Sounds good to me

>>33141776
>/k/ tripfag posting outside of the containment thread on /k/
fuck off back to /arg/ and never post outside of that thread again

>>33141820
absolutely genius

>>33142103
I've never been so underwhelmed by a burger in my life. It's not bad, but for $8 I can get so much better from Dairy Queen, Checkers, or Steak&Shake.
>>33142136
>Implying I post in /arg/
Cry harder bud.

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soylent is p good desu

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>>33141734
>field ration
A fuckload of Slim Jims. Why?
>Shit's good, yo
>Doesn't take up much space or weight
>High fat + high protein = high energy
>High sodium + low fiber = fewer poo breaks
When they get back to the mess hall they can have a nice, big, yummy meal full of fiber, carbs and maybe a few natural laxatives.

>>33141838
Or, you know, First Strike Bars.

Consult Steve1989

>>33141786
lmfao this guy wont make it in society.

>>33141734
id give them what they really need.

>smokes
>dip
>ripits, redbull, monster
>beef jerky
>pastas
>coffee
>pocket pussy
>candy

dont worry joe snuffy i got you.

>>33141761
now im hungry. fug. you win lol

Babies

>>33141752
>What is: morale

>>33141786
>t. guy who's never been in shit

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Airdrop this over the enemy.

They'll all be dead in a month.

>>33142579
HOLY FUCK

Why does it have so much cholesterol?

>>33142621
Brains are fatty as fuck.

>>33141813
Where in fuck do you live? Cost,of,living,is nuts where I'm at and I'm living on like $15 a day with rice, beans, chicken and veggies.

>>33141752
>variety is the spice of life
and spice is nice when you get shot at alot

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Rip-its for everyone!

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>>33141734
There's only one option...

Just ship McDonalds combos overseas.

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>>33141734
Pork in cosmoline, with a few packets of gunpowder on the side and even some black powder for when you need a little spice, hoppes no. 9 energy drink and liquefied kebab coffee.

i just want mine to have a larger entree that don't require cooking or prep work. just simple packages thats convenient to eat.

>>33141734
Coffee, bread and coffee.

>>33141786
An army marches on its stomach. Starving soldiers will desert, and even if they don't morale and discipline will plummet.

Love's Beef Jerky and a Dr. Pepper

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>>33142890
Goddammit anon.

>>33142076
Underrated post

Is there a way to create an MRE, given any resources, that stays under 800 mg of sodium? Most every reasonable option ITT involves lethal doses of sodium of consumed 3x a day for any extended period of time.

>>33142446
Not an argument.

Get better NCO's and CO's instead.

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THIS. Lot's of em'.

Charms. Only Charms. Just a big bag full of the fuckers.

>>33141734
Bunnings sausages MRE. Ausfags will know what I'm talking about

>>33141734
Step 1: Military bases get breweries.
Step 2: Moonshine time
Step 3: MREs like we have now but mess with it a bit so no anal destruction

Step 4: Huge bases get cooks.

>>33141797
An army marches on its stomach

t. some ancient greek guy smarter and tougher than you

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>>33141906
screen capped for all of you niggers, this is some master level shit

>>33141786
Fuck off. Good food is a morale booster. No morale = No Fight.

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>>33141956
Send them a picture of pepe with two 8s. BLOOD FOR THE MEME GOD!

>>33142579
airstrike ISIS with this, they wont stand a chance

Canada here, i'd keep it as it is but include ration heaters and package the entire thing like the americans, OR make it a 24h rat like the australian. Also issue some kind of jet-boil, to make good use of those hot cereals, cocoa, cofee and tea packets.

>>33143726
Yeah, because guys consuming the same shit are going to be able to motivate the lower ranks. And the officers went to college, so that argument dies like your mother's hopes and dreams for you. Fuck yourself with a bayonet and die.

>>33141841
fucking this. /thread

>>33142621
The purpose of cholesterol as a nutrient is to be the "insulation" on the "wires" of your neurons.

So eating a fat wad of neurons makes your cholesterol spike like a motherfucker.

Good joke: if you've got a buddy who's going to have a physical, have him over before the fast starts and sneak pork brains into a food you feed him.

See if he comes home with a Crestor scrip.

>>33143703
Freeze dry, but that makes prep time a bitch. Otherwise I suppose you could just pasteurized the fuck out of it and accept that a nicked package means its death to eat in a couple hours.

>>33142177
>Steak&Shake
>better than 5 guys


well that's one way to establish how retarded you are in a single sentence.

>>33141841
nail meet hammer

>>33144104
>ancient Greek guy

You mean fucking Napoleon?

Czech style Goulash, with shelf stable potato dumplings.
Single serve of Pilsner.
Plum jam and crackers.

Bam, best dinner menu possible.

>>33141761
Heartburn the post

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>>33145951
1/3

>>33141752
You are the worst. No one likes to eat the same damn thing every meal in the best of circumstances

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>>33146006
2/3

>>33141820
This is how wars are won

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>>33146028
3/3

>>33146016
What about booze?

And don't tell me booze ain't food. I'd rather chop off my ding dong than admit that.

>>33141752
Your idea is instantly rejected and you are fired from your cushy military development job for the sheer idiocy of your idea and your general incompetence and lack of understanding of the basics of morale and supporting the industry. You become the laughing stock of military developers everywhere. Your wife divorces you and takes your children with her, and you slip into chronic alcoholism to cope. You die alone, as the constant and mounting pressures of your profound failures take their toll on your health until your heart fails. You are buried in a grave marked only with the words: "here lies gelatin man. What a fucking retard"

Game Over. Try again?

>>33141734
French RICR's

>>33142353
Why weren't you in charge...

>>33142579
>mudslimes
>pork
>brains
Why hasn't this happened

>>33141792
Said nobody fucking ever. Stop being autistic.

>>33142098
This needs to be a thing

>>33142353
>Pour energy drink into cup
>Add coffee and candy, let it steep.
>Pour pasta and shredded jerky onto pocket pussy.
>Fuck the pocket pussy whilst smoking/dipping.
>Consume Pasta "Al Fredo" along with Energy Concoction.
>Become unstoppable.

>>33141797
Stop shitposting. It stopped being original the first time.

If you're actually this much of a dumbass you deserve to have your tasebuds surgically removed and eat nothing but soylent for the rest of your life.

>>33142579
I didn't even realize it was legal to make a food product with 10x the maximum daily recommended dosage of... Well, fucking anything really.

>>33145928
Yes. That ancient greek guy named "fucking napoleon".

>>33142177
>any of that
>better than 5 guys
Stop. Your opinion is fucking wrong, and so are you. 5 guys is literally the epitome of what a burger should be; Big, messy, greasy, and made out of actual fucking meat, packed to the fucking brim with cheese and lettuce and a bunch of other good shit.
All those other burgers are clean, bland sawdust labeled as a meat.

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>>33141734
Vodka, blood sausages and pic related. Our men will wreak havoc on the enemy supply lines in their desperate search for something that's actually edible. Like a drug frenzied Makkarasota, but in reverse.

>>33141734
An example of the default package would be
>Shredded Beef
>White Rice
>Simple Salad (Lettuce, Spinach, Onions, etc..)
>Pepper Flakes
>Cherry Flavored Electrolyte Tablets
>Spearminint Gum
>Vitamin Tablets

It'd also come with a self heating packet, a tray, a spork, and a knife.
Different types of rations would just be variations of the same formula.
Shit like different meat dishes, types of rice, flavors for tablets and gum, etc...
The only thing that would stay the stay is the flavor for the Vitamin Tablets, and that'd probably just taste like Smarties or something.

Would this be a good MRE? Probably not.
It seems like it'd cost a lot more than garbage meat patty and some skittles, but fuck it.
I'd still be happy to eat any variation on the formula though.

>>33141841
Thank you for rhetorically kicking that autard's ass.

>>33146149
>blood sausages
delicious, shame they're hard to get where i am at

>>33142025
I can see it now, entire platoons getting into brawls over a handful of woefully painted figurines modeled after japanese bug collecting mascots. Glorious.

>>33141786

Spoken like a true 13 year old.

>>33141734
Beef jerky, snickers bar, multivitamin, instant coffee, Adderall xr.

>>33142282
Ahahahahhaha you actually bought that shit. You don't even have an excuse, you're not an astronaut.

Soylent is a very useful idea but people who pretend they actually enjoy the experience of consuming it are autistic as fuck

>>33146158
Go see some specialist butchers, any decent English or Italian butchers will carry it.

>>33142025
It'd be a great idea, but first and second gens only.

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>>33146214
Normies wouldn't even figure it out past first-gen, so it'd be pointless to go past it with the figures.
That's fine though, best mon still gets in at least.

>>33146196
>You don't even have an excuse, you're not an astronaut.
hey now, he could have a broken jaw from his hobby of sucking dick

Keep it exactly like it is, but every ten MREs is a "special" morale pack that contains gormet food, smokes, high proof liquor, and a Tenga egg, among other special items. Soldiers can use the items to trade for other items. However, every ten MREs you might also get a packet of soylent, to offset the costs of the special MRE packages. That way, you get variety and a moral boost at an acceptable price, and also creates an MRE economy, promoting relationships between troops.

>>33143726
Just realize that you've lost and move on. Nobody likes you, and everyone thinks your idea is dumb as dog shit.

>>33146252
Or some dark black market is created eg: sex acts for good shit

Tenga Egg (Wavy), Beef Jerky, Dip, Flinstone's Chewable Vitamins.
PAY ME

>>33145984
I'm convinced heartburn is a myth.

>>33146234
Nah cunt, Tyrannitar is the greatest pokemon, OF ALL TIME.

>>33145518
I can get an egg at S&S. Can't do that at 5 hype. And it'll cost $3 less.

>>33141734

http://terminallance.com/2016/09/09/terminal-lance-439-prize-inside/

>>33146252
You want to know how you get prostitution, that's how you get prostitution.

>>33141956
>tfw you're some ISIS recruit fresh from fucking a goat and shoved onto the battlefield
>All is going well, shooting retreating Iraqi soldiers, beheading peasants, fun Jihadi stuff
>All of the sudden, you hear a battle cry that sounds as if it's coming from the depths of Hell itself
>Or maybe it's the depths of Victory Road
>Some dickhead GI comes running over the hill carrying his glass of blue Kool-Aid, clutching his Blastoise figure
>You start to make out the screams
>"HYDRO PUMP MOTHAFUCKA, BLASTOISE I CHOOSE YOU"
>You start shooting at him with your sandnigger comrades
>Because of using Allah to guide the rounds instead of your sights, all shots are missing
>"Muhammad, this infidel is getting closer!"
>Just as you begin to concentrate your fire, ten more GIs come charging at you
>You are repeatably shot by the Infidel masses, all as they shout
>"I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!"

>>33146298
Its very real.

>>33146353
I've never had it. My father has never had it. My wife claims to have it every night, so I KNOW that isn't happening. Heart burn from a few jelly beans? The fuck outta here. It's not real, just a scam by the Tums company.

>>33146277
>>33146309
See:
>promoting relationships between troops

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>>33146196
It actually tastes good and it comes in 4 flavors. I still eat normal meals, I just skip as many as possible.

Im actually a good cook too but who TF has has time to go grocery shopping, cook, clean, eat, and shit all the damn time?

>>33142295
How many stickers do you have on the inside of your vehicle?

>>33146366
Nigga heartburn is real. Yes, your wife is definitely lying about it or she doesn't know what it is, but it's real. Shit fucks with you hard when it happens.

>>33146366
Heartburn:
Pizza
Marinara Sauce
Italian Sausages
Chili

>>33144794
Dietary sterols have nothing to do with LDLs in your blood

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3/8 Soy protein concentrate
3/8 Heat treated trade flour
1/4 coconut oil (virgin)

Good macros

Neutral taste (except extremely sweet and light cookie dough texture from coconut oil)

Shelf stable modern pemmican. Got me through college when all i needed to do was study and wanted to reload .223

You can even flavor it for the holidays, make a gruel, and shape it

granola meal bars, beans with maple syrup, chicken noodle soup, dried meat or fish, powdered Gatorade.

>>33141906
>Powdered drink
>Orange shit that prevents colds

Actually, that made me think of something legitimately useful. Give them single serving of Metamucil in every MRE. Orange flavored, pretty good taste, provides nutrients, and gives fiber, which is always an issue with these. Boom.

>>33141734
Run a poll, see what everyone likes to eat the most already, focus on making those meals suck less, and ensure that each and every item in said meal is now shaped like a dick. Who the fuck doesn't want little dick-shaped macaroni in their chili-mac?

>>33141752
>I would issue a gelatin paste
Faggots would be using this as lube in the showers. No thank you.

>>33146532
Would you rather they be using shampoo instead and tearing skin from dicks and assholes all day?

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>35 grams of bee pollen
>35 grams of pure raw honey
>Dried fruit 2500 cal worth
>Various potatoes blended with herbs
>granola,date, raisin, apple, paste w/spicy nuts
>Delicious glorious teas
>12gauge 00buck
>Meth tablets

>>33141906
10/10
>Soldiers start painting their grenades like pokéballs

>>33141820
This is how you have EXCELLENT morale

nice.

Witchetty grubs in a Vegemite gravy.

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You can run on rice alone, it has 99% of all the things body needs. Thats how japs rolled in WW2 and gooks in 'Nam.

Ad a bit of soy sauce and it isn't even that bad.

>>33141734
>butter chicken MRE, dehydrated mash potato, and Anzac biscuits (cos they're my fave foods)
>plus crayons

>>33141734
Don't know about the military but I could run off of Nongshim soups, fudge, cold brew coffee, American spirits, and jerky. Just toss in a multivitamin and a fiber tablet now and then so I can poop and not get some weird disease

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Nice Hiss

>>33141841
American soldiers were consuming too few calories.
They identified this problem.
And solved it.
The American way.
With overwhelming force.

>ObeseSoldier.jpg

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>>33146855
You can make your own sushi the way it was used to store meat

https://books.google.ca/books?id=-zmLa205d0QC&pg=PA297&lpg=PA297&dq=koji+starter+corn+husks&source=bl&ots=x8thMYHvsa&sig=9vjuJS2_FwfNMX8x8-b-9em-D3s&hl=en&sa=X&ei=CvIHU7ysMOSC2QX_8ICYAg#v=onepage&q=koji%20starter%20corn%20husks&f=false

Read page 301 down for the traditional chinese way.

Store in individual 20 lbs boxes

That or soak regular rice in vinegar or soy sauce.

>>33146567
>Frag, I choose you!

>>33142682
costco bro
pick up a 20lb bag of rice, beans, chicken, and frozen/fresh veggies for under 60 bucks
you can even get spices and shit
costs even less if you borrow a friend's costco card
currently living on something like 3 bucks a day and spending 50 to 70 a month on food and that's with throwing in special things once in a while

>>33141953
>pemmican
Why not just put suicide pills in?

>Vegemite
>Bread
>toaster that runs on solar power

>>33141734
The lamb sauce

>>33146441
The influence is somewhat limited, but there is still some influence.
That's why they make you fast before the test.

But the fast can be overcome by doing a massive preload.

>>33141734
1.Prize
2. Drink mix with vitamins and fiber
3. 800 kcals of carbs in flavorful bread or cracker.
4. 60 grams protein in real meat with lots of spices
5. 1200 kcals from fat.

>>33141752

Maybe a mix of this gelatin paste/high calorie bars and actual nice MRE meals. So when you are in a hurry you can eat the paste and when you have time you cook the MRE.

>all these fags signaling for soy products
it's like you all want to be women. people who need to talk about soylent are as bad as vegans.

24 hour ration;

Breakfast menu:
>1 teabag
>1 serving instant coffee
>1 serving powdered milk
>1 serving jam (blackberry, raspberry, strawberry)
>1 serving crackers (whole grain, fortified)
>1 serving mixed nuts (almonds, peanuts, pistachios)
>1 package chewing gum
>1 tablet light dose amphetamine
>1 unfiltered medium cigarette

Lunch menu:
>1 pre-cooked meat serving (Cubed broiled pork, baked chicken strips, fried steak)
>1 serving meat condiment (BBQ, honey mustard, steak sauce)
>1 canned specialty menu (Rice with cheese, baked beans, pasta with sauce)
>1 electrolyte drink mix (Citrus)
>1 serving light cracker
>1 serving crackers topping (Peanut butter, cheese spread)
>1 serving multivitamin
>1 serving dark chocolate
>3 medium unfiltered cigarettes

Dinner Menu:
>1 pre-cooked meat serving
>1 serving meat condiment
>1 canned specialty menu
>1 serving tea
>1 serving dark chocolate
>1 serving desert bread (Fruit cake, twinkie, fudge roll, cinnamon bun)
>partial serving alcoholic beverage (vodka, gin, whiskey)
>1 unfiltered medium cigarette

Accessories:
>1 green spork
>1 p38 can opener
>1 package wet napkins
>1 package ultra soft toilet paper
>1 small container water proof matches
>1 disposable dental tool
>1 morale accessory (Ultra small light novel, deck of playing cards, extra chewing gum, extra cigarettes)

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>>33141776
Those digits

>>33148094
I uh

I don't think there's any actual soy in soylent, it's just a name

>>33148339
Are you fucking retarded? Of course there's soy in soylent you stupid Nancy cock.

>>33142859
i understand that reference

>>33148094
>small books

theres plenty of old books where the IP ran out. Like all of HP Lovecrafts stuff is public domain now, as are a bunch of old Cowboy serials. You could even dumpster dive through those old pulp mags for the short stories they used to print out, like the Soldiers of Fortune mags or the "man vs. lobsters" /k/ pic.

I bet you could even get reprints of some comics going, or break bigger books into parts.

"I'll trade you part two of Huckleberry Finn for that Batman comic"

"no way, its at least worth a Spiderman and part 3 of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea".

"I'll throw in some Copenhagen".

"Done".

I could see it.

>>33146044
Maybe you have a problem with alcohol.

>>33148404
In my mind I sort of pictured very small sized full novels. Kind of like those novelty miniature bibles. Wishful thinking.

>>33146377
What? What the fuck, no, this is the military, not fucking prison.

>>33148440
it could be done. Barnes and Noble sells those types of mini books for literally like $5 a pop since its old classics where the IP died

>>33141752
Enjoy destroying your digestive system from your complete lack of solids

>>33148362
What about Soylent Green.

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>>33141956
>>33141906

>>33141792
It's people.

>>33141734
Tomato soup and saltines

>>33149201
Go to bed Charlton

MREs have too much salt, no wonder because salt is a jewish trick

Special ops are taught to drink piss and I commend that

Maybe some raw vegan snacks like dried fruit would be helpful

>>33149500
>salt is a jewish trick
What the fuck

>>33149732
>kosher salt

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>>33141734
grilled polenta ball stuffed with cheese and lardons
this is actually traditional go-food in my country.
gooey and greasy on the inside, crunchy on the outside. good with some smetana

>>33149745
Pretty sure all fucking things you can find on a supermarket have one of those K-pareve.

>>33142098
I can now imagine our marines fuckin around and throwing grenades screaming "<insert pokemon> I CHOOSE YOU"

>>33149888
common sense would suggest to include a grenade-sized pokeball sticker?

>>33141752

Shame that Soylent and its ilk are insanely over priced for what they contain. Look at the ingredients of ANY 'complete' drink and its 90% basic crops like soy and corn. It's literally a massive scam for the prices they charge.

>>33141820
.... Jesus

>>33141786
EDGE
D
G
E

>>33141830
Do you not realize the irony that if it wasn't a volunteer force, then you would be conscripted and forced to eat that bullshit?

>>33142025
>>33141906
Nice

The only problem that I see is the wave of pictures of dead soldiers holding onto their pokemon figures. Children and child-like innocence are my greatest weakness, even more if it comes from people going trough hell

Wine rations. Each wine will be matched to the meal.

Red wines have anti radiation properties.

>>33142041
6 months later your soldiers are burnt out addicts.

>>33150160
>Children and child-like innocence are my greatest weakness
Nigga you pedo.

>>33150045

Wow, it's almost like businesses operate to make money

>>33150351

Stop thinking with your dick, seeing blown up kids or blown up toys, or blown up kids with their toys feels bad man.

>>33150434
>Blowing kids
Wouldn't you rather they blow you?

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>>33146316

>>33150367

Except that the idea is that it's meant to be a nutritionally complete meal. You can't be nutritionally complete from engine lubricant and corn with a side of soy.

Everything in it is literally the filler shit that they put in your food up to the legal national level and the reason so many people are fat fucks from sweetened white bread or tomato sauces that taste like they were meant to be a fucking dessert because of all the shit in them.

May as well just give your soldiers bulking protein powders when in the field and feed them normal food at base if you want this shit. Mass builder protein shakes are 800 kcal a shot and have shittons more nutritional balance than these 5 a day faggot drinks meant for retards who sit at a desk all day.

>>33141906
>Happy Meal MREs
my sides

>>33146458
Wtf is "heat treated trade flour"?!

>>33148094
That's better than most of /K/ eats now

>>33141752
eat u.s. rations for weeks and tell me how you feel. other countries armies get fed better shit.

>>33141786

>Autistic Screeching The Post

>>33146390
>but who TF has has time to go grocery shopping, cook, clean, eat, and shit all the damn time?

Normal people with time management skills? Shit, I work 4 10 hour days and I can cook most nights.

>>33141786
this is satire right? the only thing i looked forward to every day was the next meal in iraq. it doesn't have to be gourmet but some sausage and eggs for breakfast, a toasted sandwich for lunch, and some meaty pasta or salisbury steak with sides for dinner kept me motivated when getting bombed, shot at, and shit on by the command all day every day.

>>33146016
eating the same thing for a week at a time isn't bad, at least in my experience.

>>33151601
>4 10 hour days
that's the gravy shift man, the only one that beats it is doing 3x12's and getting paid for 40.

>>33144024
Fucking this. Why are they so good when tuckshop ladies make them? Their sweat?

>>33141734
3 meals per pack, the rations will be variedane of high quality. Each ration will contain at the very least...
>2 coffees
>1 wine shot
>paté or canned meat with butter crackers
>spices (black pepper, salt, cayenne pepper)
>all the typical amenities included in modern rations

The meals will be varied, mountain/cold weather rations will be focused on hearty and filling meals mainly with American, British, and Central/Eastern European comfort foods, normal patrol and base rations will vary.

Some meal ideas
>Hungarian Goulash
>Chicken and Dumplings
>Beef Stroganoff with egg noodles
>Ropa Vieja with white rice
>Tikka Masala with jasmine rice
>Butter Chicken Curry with jasmine rice
>Beef short ribs
>Chili
>Orecchiette with elbow macaroni
>Shepherd's pie
>Smoked Salmon with vegetables
>Shchi (Squatrune cabbage soup)
>Beef or chicken teriyaki with sushi rice

Plenty of other meals as well, primarily soups and stews for cold weather rations. Those are just some ideas.

Each meal will come with a desert corresponding with the country/theme the main dish is from.

>>33141734

Britbong here, so I'd basically try and squeeze a Sunday roast in there. Roast Beef, roast potatoes, carrots, some gravy powder to chuck in some water and heat.

Covers protein, carbs and, most importantly, comfort. Because if I'm getting shot at a fuck load, I want comfort food.

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>>33146298
Funny how that works. My whole family is afflicted with awful chronic heartburn that starts around age 19. Meanwhile I don't seem to get hangovers at all, and the idea of them is really a mystery to me.

>>33146366
>>33151812
Chronic heartburn just kind of shows. I have months on and off; diet doesn't seem to matter much, though foods like
>>33146421
Seem to make it worse if it's already started. There doesn't seem to be a trigger relationship for me, though my father complains of one. Some months suck and some don't.

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>>33141906

>TFW ISIS propaganda vids start complaining about desecration of corpses because they start finding Pokemon figures placed on and stuffed inside corpses

>>33141830
"An Army Marches on it's stomach"

>>33151601
Do you work at Amazon by chance?

>>33143500
My fuckin nigger, loves beef jerky is my shit

>>33141734
....Brownies
and asian pears (they taste like cheap scotch)

>>33146298
It's real if you do fuck all for exercises, drink shitty drinks, and eat shitty foods.

I used to get it all the time, then I stopped eating shitty food and started exercising more. Not drinking soda every day helped a lot too.

>>33151982
No. Direct mail company as a QC Specialist. I call it proofreading since people understand it better. QC sounds like I'm out on a line measuring things against a master copy or something.

>>33151783
I like this idea. Savory sauced meats and carbs. I'd suggest a number of different jellies or other spreads for crackers to mix things up. Fig marmalade, ligonberry, hazelnut butter, smoked cheddar cheese with bacon, beef pate, and I could think of dozens more. Add them to the ration pack completely at random so troops will never know exactly what's in the ration. Add a couple of hardtack like crackers like the current ones but a but thicker and more of them. Some kind of high fiber breakfast cereal that can be re-constituted with cold water like pinole, granola or such, maybe add a packet of Metamucil as some other anon suggested to add fiber and prevent MRE constipation.

>>33141734
I would try and integrate some of the shit they give the astronauts in the ISS. They have freeze dried foods from literally every nation. I imagine the troops would like variety.

>>33149999
>>33149888
You're in luck!

Such a pokemon already exists and has been used as a hand grenade in the pokemon universe.

Just give the bastards yellow and red paint and pokemon can be real!

>>33146298
I'm convinced you're retarded

>>33141848
>endless
underrated

heavily seasoned bean dishes. lots of iron, protein, fiber, and vitamens in most beans.

then add in fat(cheese spread) and some complex carbs(brown or wild rice). i would reduce the simple carbs(sugar) that makes up most of the MRE's calories. while keeping total calories around 1500 per.

8 oz juice box of fortified red wine.

dark chocolate. none of that sugary milk chocolate bullshit.

gum that doesn't disintegrate

freeze dried coffee powder.

triple the amount of toilet paper.

a hand sanitizer wipe

a few butt wipes to finish after the toilet paper. a clean butt hole is essential to marching comfort. otherwise your anus gets irritated and rashy.

a small packet of anti fungal cream. jock itch and athletes foot like to pop up when you're in the field and aren't bathing.

the accessories packet should be a mirror silver mylar pouch. so you can use the packet later as a mirror.

iodine tablets to make suspect water safe to drink. like holy shit. how is this not standard issue ? does the US army think they can always get clean potable water to soldiers in the field?

>>33142749
Rip-its, smokes (no menthol or lights), and protein/nutrient smoothie stuff in all the colors of the rainbow.

>>33148094
Why unfiltered cigarettes?

>>33141786
>I don't understand anything hurr durr.

Shut the fuck up and go back to eating nothing but your cum-stained tendies.

>>33141820
This is how we win wars we're not even involved with.

>>33146061
underrated post

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>>33141734
Just a bunch of habanero peppers in a shitty oily slick of rice and some oil or something.

TASTE THE PAIN

>>33141956
>killing insurgents in the name of charizard
>hasn't heard the word of our lord and saviour
>What shall we do, mighty Helix Fossil?
>REMOVE ALL THE KEBAB

>>33146109
Underrated holy fuck my sides

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I will keep it exactly as it is now, excapt have cigarettes make a comeback and include a little picture of my dick in each and every meal.


The DoD already spends a shitload on nutritionists. i'm not arrogent enough to say i know more about feeding soldiers than them.

>>33157098
They're more cost effective, less waste and a better/bolder taste.

>>33145518
Bitch please. 5Guys is overrated, overpriced garbage.

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>>33151422
Flour heated above 190° or higher to kill bacteria which is generally what causes illness when eating raw dough

>>33158720
>excapt have cigarettes make a comeback

Stupid lung destroyers. Cigarettes are a silly way to get the usefulness of nicotine because tar, fire, bulk, etc.

I use nicotine gum instead. Not to quit smoking, which was easy, but because I'm permanently and severely fatigued from spine damage and cannot get quality sleep. Caffeine pills wake me up and nicotine takes the edge off while improving thought clarity. Habitrol is cheaper than cigarettes, doesn't cause rednek tooflessness like chew, is compact and gets the job done.

>>33152191
My mom bought me a half pound box of it for Christmas, absolutely amazing

>>33142353
This is what they deserve but not what they need. Maybe some day.

>>33146158
You can buy powdered blood on the Internet and make it yourself.

It's a brave new world

>>33141734
Tendies, chocolate milk, choice of any dorito flavor

>>33146855
No you cant, that's the reason they were so fucking crazy and small.

Those fat and peanut filled things you normally get for birds, it'll work great as fuck

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COFFEE

CHEETOES

[spoiler]CHICKEN[/spoiler]

>>33160956
I've actually eaten a suet cake and I can tell you it is not fun.

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Main meal: Chicken Alfredo with broccoli
Side: Saltine Crackers or something like that.

Delicious and simple to make. Could eat this shit daily mein negro.

>>33160956
Suet?

>>33141752
>implying our soldiers are hardened enough to give up their luxurious solid food.

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>>33141734
>Entree
Soup in a pack, With meaty chunks. Extra meaty chunks for our men and women in uniform
>Sides
A sort of bread, Preferably whole grain. Maybe even a sleeve of crackers, with a spread for it.
>Fiber of sorts
Im not talking that acidic tasting applesauce, Maybe dried prunes or fruit, or even a packet of Benifiber soluble cellulose.
>Brownies in every MRE
also
>Cigrits, a full pack of marlboros. (1 in 10 MRE's get an airplane bottle of random liquor.)

>>33148094
you pretty much summed up the British ration bar the ciggies and booze

>>33143757

my dad used to eat this stuff when he was driving 14 hours nonstop to the campibg grounds at the baltic sea. Oh sweet days

>>33141734
Guess ill do one breakfast

>doughnuts. the small ~2 inch diameter ones. powdered.
>coffee. no sugar, no cream
>corned beef hash
>toast/bread
>hot sauce and mustard
> beans
>cigarettes and fire
>mouth wash
>plus the usual non edible stuff

>>33141776
if so why are most of the food so shit?

>>33165394
because of the stuff they do to it to make it shelf stable at room temperature for years.

No idea how this would work, but a pressurized container holding something similar to whipped cream, filled with vitamins and nutriments, basically shit they need to keep going, along with caffeine and sugar. They'd come along with protein bars, so you could cover the bar with the cream and eat like that. Meant to keep you going until you get back to base for something warm. (comes in three different flavors: Orange-Strawberry-Vanilla)

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>>33141734
Dehydrated chopped up lobster, sauce, and a grilled and buttered hot dog bun. Heat that shit up and you got a nice little snack. Might get a little messy, so maybe there should also be one that's just assorted meats and meatloaf. A kielbasa, bratwurst, some strips of bacon, slim jims, a meatloaf for nutrients other than protein and sodium, shit like that. Also clam chowder.
Imagine all the innuendos. Clam chow meets sausage party. Many keks would be had, keeping morale up. I'm also thoroughly convinced we need to fund >>33146316
>>33146044
You'd rather chop off your ding-dong than not drink?

>>33146044
Murderface plz.

>>33165666
would explode during airborne operations.

then you have to make it out of aluminum to keep it from rusting away.

>>33150976
>You can't be nutritionally complete from engine lubricant and corn with a side of soy.
Don't tell me how to live my life.

>>33145518
To be 100% entirely honest... I'd much rather have a big mac than a 5 guys burger. The 5 guys burger isn't bad, but it's absolutely nothing special imo.