FBI HRT is going to raid your house and v& you You have

>>33124131
Nothing. I dindu nuffin. And if I did, its FBI HRT. Im fucked. Just gonna enjoy myself and not give them a reason to kill me.

FBI HRT is the ultimate swat team in the US in case of a terrorist attack?

>>33124131
>Order like 200lbs of Ammonium Nitrate with expedited shipping
>Get several gallons of kerosene
>Get 2 shitty prepaid phones
>Prepare giant ANFO bomb under my house with TATP phone-activated detonator
>Hole up in some cliffs near my house with my guns, some camping supplies and everything camoflauged for snow, and watch with binoculars
>Blow up as many as I can and hope the rest don't find me

>>33124131
Pee on sticks and push them into the ground
Hire som poor gook farmers and give them a AKs and SKS rifles.

Defeats the burger every time.

>>33124131
> FBI HRT
> Hormone Replacement Therapy

Shouldnt it be the DEA then?

File: 1445485074368.gif (2MB, 300x196px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 300x196px

>>33124131
Take a hostage and see if they can finally rescue one

>>33124131
> Front plate bottom above the belly button.
how come everyone wears their PC back plate way to low? Have they fallen for the plate to the chin meme?

>they bust down my door
>I have no hostages and I am unarmed at the time
>they have no reason to fire a single round or do anything
>they leave
>I break a few things after they leave
>I get a new door and a few new things

>>33124131
>Can't leave my city.
It's a big city.
All they'll find in my house is several thousand square feet of booby traps and my life savings in dragon dildos and J lube.

>>33124532

I know you're just taking the piss, but..

> that kid in Alabama
> 2 prison riot rescues
> Hannah Anderson
> Arthur Jannsen

Also, they helped 'acquire' sources of intelligence all over Iraq and Afghanistan at the request of JSOC, which, why the hell are our federal police working internationally? Sounds like they are incestuous as fuck with the military.

>>33124131
I furiously rape your nigger mother's ass and ponder my predicament for 7 days

>>33124532
kek.

>>33124888
>raping nigger ass

This is how you get AIDS my dude

>>33124131
I quickly take a shit in your mother's mouth and have her make me a sandwich

File: you-have-no-power-here.jpg (66KB, 666x400px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 666x400px

>>33124131
>ensure all of my items are legal to the letter
>make an insurance inventory of my effects with photographs
>get a lawyer on retainer.
>lots of secure cameras on my property streaming to a remote server to use in my counter-suit
FBI is going to buy me nice things.

Set up cameras and explosive boobytraps, dig a tunnel

hold them off as much as possible then run from the tunnel

File: 1486337063539.png (348KB, 666x516px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 666x516px

>>33124984
Don't forget to shop in a few G11s, MG-42s, FG-42s, STG-44s, an Sdkfz 234, a Maus, and a metric shit ton of ammo for said weapons. Fuck throw in the Schwerer Gustav while you're at it.

>>33124131
>Assemble a super team of lawyers
>install video cameras everywhere that live stream.
>???
>profit

>>33124147
pretty much this, im going to find the best damn lawyer I can afford, and call the local FBI field office and hand my self over peacefully.

>>33124231
Mostly

>>33124875
That's because they are incestuous as fuck with the military

File: 1487023813816.jpg (30KB, 570x479px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 570x479px

>buy an ounce of crack
>smoke it
>grab mosin
>run

Make my house more presentable to the local news, hire a lawyer, setup a camera or two and have my sister watch my dog.

Nothing to find here but I may as well make them look like idiots

>>33124875
Because it's an easy way for them to gain experience and vet the team without having to worry about any press back home. They have no reason not to let the HRT get some field time

>>33124131
dig and live /unnaground/

>>33126680
Agreed, but I'd also try to get local media interested, just in case I go into the Federal building and don't come out.

>>33124777
>>33124984
>>33126118
>>33126680
>>33128025
It's HRT you dipshits, if they choose to raid you, then you must've done some abhorrent shit, no matter how skilled (or jewish) your lawyer is you'll get nowhere, and you'll get your doggo shot

>>33124984
"If one would give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged."

These are the feds you're talking about. Prepare your anus.

I would order a dildo and ride it whilst they bust down the door.

I haven't done anything though.

>>33124875
>why the hell are our federal police working internationally?

Statism

>>33124131
DBAN.

>>33128159
It's a federal swat team, they'll bust you for having 2 plants of weed in your basement.

Uh...just be someplace else.

>>33124131
Pit traps outside all windows. Shotgun shell traps inside all windiws. Fire trap on outside doors. Remove stairs sand bag second floor. Then make a few ieds and position them all over incoming routs. Lastly IED on second floor likned to a heart rate sensor and rf switch.

>>33124131
call my lawyer

File: kek.png (46KB, 1200x1314px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 1200x1314px

>>33130862

>Kidnap homeless bum off street
>Pay an indian facial surgery doctor to have his face look like mine
>Then pay the indian guy to surgery my face to look like his
>HRT busts in, shoots the hobo, then rescues me

File: 8773556cb811dc661d365e06816f8612.jpg (109KB, 1224x958px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 1224x958px

>buy core sampler
>Bury my external HDD with loli collection(all legal 2d) under my house
>magnets

dindu nuffin

>>33124131
Smoke/inject a bunch of pcp like a inner city din du and single handedly take out an entire HRT strike team with no weapons and just my hands while naked covered in extra virgin olive oil

>>33130988
>YOUR MOVE MISTER LAWMAN!

File: IMG_0250.jpg (237KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 1600x900px

>>33124131
get ready

>>33124131
shitpost for the first 6 then get outta dodge on the 7th

>>33124131
Clean. Maybe get some food and drinks ready for the visit.
It's not like I'm a criminal or something.

>>33128789

> Liberal capitalist bureaucrats drawn almost entirely drawn from the burgesses.

> Totally equivalent to a Catholic drawn from the lesser nobility with a boner for destroying feudalism in order to establish an absolute monarchy.

- - -

Anyway, anybody know where I could find a written history of HRT's team, and SWAT in general, from the 60s on? I'm looking for a reasoned objective history of the teams more than operator porn.

I put tannerite inside all the walls and then shoot at the entry team with a .22

>>33124298

You need to poop on the sticks, anon

>>33124131
Break gas line in my house. When they kick in the door and throw a flash bang the entire house will go up. Maybe put some big gas tanks in the house as well, and line the walls with things that could act as shrapnel.

>>33124131
Buy buttplugs to prepare my butthole for prison.

File: FBI - Can Suck It.webm (2MB, 470x270px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 470x270px

>>33124131

>FBI HRT

I really don't see why I'd need 7 days to fend off a bunch of trannies on Hormone Replacement Therapy even if they do work for the FBI.

>>33124131

I'd go out and get a hostage for them to rescue. Wouldn't want to make them feel silly for raiding a house with noone to rescue. I guess I'd also get some beers and stuff in.

>>33124131
Hire a good lawyer

>>33124284

I like your thinking there man kill em all.

>>33124131
>Buy a bunch of pressure cookers and fog machines
>buy groceries
>day of arrival start making food in pressure cookers
>place pressure cookers full of food all over house
>door gets broken down, fog rolls out, they start seeing the pressure cookers
>they have to wait outside while bomb squad gets there
>send drone in, looks in cooker, sees beans, checks another, ribs, another, rice
>man comes in in full bomb suit, starts taking away all the food
>hours after and theyve finally taken all the food and cookers out they finally push to the bedroom
>burst into bedroom, find me seconds away from death, ask them why they took away all my food, im so hungry, die
>they dont know i spent the entire week starving myself to the point of death
>they just stole all the food away from a starving man
>family sues them into the ground for causing my easily preventable death

which anon has that infographic on invader-proofing your house with sandbags and holes in the floor and shit.

Basically all that

File: HAAAA.jpg (55KB, 258x360px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 258x360px

>>33131308
kekt

File: So you bought a house in Detroit.jpg (259KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 720x1280px

>>33131361
You do realize they're going to burn it down, right?

Delete my loli folder just in case. Take a nap.

I'm not a criminal.