Joining the British Army. I want to go for the Paras but I'm

>>33060579
head to local recruiting office, git yer arse on ARRSE

>>33061331
ARRSE?

>>33061481
Can't use Google. Hmm looks like you failed your entrance exam. Sorry, better luck next time.

>>33061569
Shit. Well I tried. Better go join the Royal Marines.

>>33061584
That's the spirit. Pro tip, if you show up naked they hire you on the spot. Basically ARRSE is a forum that tells you everything you'll need to know for joining up.

>>33061595
Pro tip acknowledged, will definitely try it out when I visit the recruiter. So this army rumour service, do you need to create an account or something for it?

>>33061655
it's a forum m8

don't go there unless you want to be ripped by ex-RSM's all day for being a mong

>>33061655
yes, and lurk more. Start using words like "oppo", "ally", "sigs", "bevvy", "bergen", "squarebashing" etc and you'll fit right in.
Also grow a moustache

>>33061703
They've changed the rules, he has to have a moustache before he joins.

OP you do have a moustache don't you?

>>33060579
what's ur PFT time m8

>>33061724
Haha, yeah. Definitely...

>>33061765
I run 1.5 mile in just over 10 minutes, I need to improve that. I can do 60-70 sit ups in 2 minutes and 65 push ups in 2 mins

>>33061331
>>33061481

the cnut means this

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/forums/join-the-army-regular-soldier-recruitment.94/

read and lurk, there's some very good advice

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>>33060579
Entry requirements pic related. However if you cant find it yourself then youre born to be a marine, as long as you can headbutt your way through at least 2 walls and a small child

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>>33062022
And heres the P Coy tests. Should give you an idea of what youre doing.

>>33062022

>born to be a marine

It seems that no matter the country, if you are a marine it means you have some sort of defect. Is it a prerequisite of joining, or does the defect emerge due to marine training?

>>33061880
Cheers mate.

>>33062022
>>33062036
I did already know what the entry requirements were but thanks anyway.

>>33060579
Do not forget to call everyone hat, always remind them you are a potential para.

>>33062069
No worries. Work on a mix of cardio, i.e fast paced short distance runs (1.5-2 miles), medium pace medium distance (4-5 miles) and long distance slow jogs (7-10 miles). Try fartlek too if you want to change things up.
Knock out press ups, pull ups, sit ups etc, you want to be able to do the minimum blindfolded underwater with half a leg missing. (Just kidding, but no seriously)
Throw a pack on and gradually build up weight and distance, get used to tabbing at a good pace. DO NOT run with weight, especially in boots or on concrete/tarmac. Getting used to the Brecon shuffle would probably do you some good, as well as learning some land nav while tabbing without having to stop every time you check the map.

>>33062059
I had a mate who went through commando training just to fall off the tarzan assault course on the second to last day and break his leg.
Apparently, on his first day, as they were walking up from the station, some of the lads were hanging some poor bugger out of a 4th floor window by a pair of bedsheets round his ankle, bloke was physically pissing himself.
Whether youre born with it or its developed over time, either way you could say it takes a "special" person to be an amphibious sandbag.

>>33062113
All great advice but i will add something few ever mention, learn to sew and iron properly.

>>33062151
Its almost like you dont want him to get beasted in drill

>>33062113
I've done DofE so I can navigate alright. Thanks for the tips on cardio. Will definitely be working on it in the coming months. Also, if I do want to try running in boots what boots should I use? Like what are you issued in training so I can get used to running in them. I read somewhere that most blokes find the running alright but can't deal with the blisters or something.

>>33062189
>I've done DofE

bronze?

>>33062177
I am getting soft in my old age, i do not want anyone beasted hence why i also suggest he gets para wings tattoo to prove his dedication at itc catterick.

>>33062200
And silver and will be doing gold soon.

>>33062189
If you must practice running in boots, do so cross country on soft ground, in boots youve already worn in. In phase 1 youll get your issued kit, inc boots, and wearing them in will be part of the training. You will probably get blisters, so either toughen your feet up or get used to popping blisters.

>>33062212
Well if he does that he has no option but to pass, I like your thinking mate.

OP, if you ever do successfully get your cherry beret, make sure to learn how to shape it so it's as low as possible over both eyebrows.

It's the para way.

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>>33062236
Ok thanks, I've dealt with blisters before. Pic related. Did an 11mile hike in boots I only got like 2 days before. Never again. Still navigated for the team and stayed at the front of the pack though. I was supposed to be the team leader that day so I had to do all the navigation and stuff. All in all, fun times.

>>33062150
It takes a "special" person to be a sandbag being pushed out of a plane.

>>33062346
Fair enough mate, good on you. There will be a enough short marches and general movements on base for you to wear in your new boots in basic. Make sure when youre doing practice pack marches not to just sling a weight plate in there, pack it with cans of dog food and other stuff which will distribute the weight better while getting a similar weight, cus the weight plate will sit at the bottom of your pack and probably chafe the hell out of your arse. Find a route with some hills and make sure you can tab at a good 4 miles an hour, then try shuffling at 5 miles an hour if youre feeling good, make sure not to break out into a full run if you can help it. Your knees wont thank you.

>>33062634
That's a good idea to use cans instead of a weight. I'll have to hit up the local parks for hills and shit. Thanks.

>>33062400
I'd rather get pushed out a plane than get turned to mincemeat on a beach.

>>33062737
No worries lad. If you want to add some more gruel to it on the hike, pick up a small log and carry it around, youll get some odd looks but itll get you used to walking at pace without your hands free, as youd be doing in training with a rifle. Thats once you get used to the pace and some decent weight though and if youre keen.

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>>33060579
remove that blasphemous image

who has ever heard of a brit who drank mate?

>>33062346
For future reference in your training, the leader doesn't nav, the nav nav's.

>>33062909
That sounds like a good idea. Will try it once I've done some weighted marches.