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>Be me
>cleaning Cosmoline out of new nugget
>covered in Cosmoline and gun oil
>Just wash hands and put on new shirt
>Leave to go to my parents to watch the super bowl with my irl gf.
>reek of cosmoline
> walk through door of parents house
> mom asks me what Cologne I am wearing.
>ohshitsmelllikerussiacosmo.jpg
>lie and tell her it is Jimmy Choo Man so she doesn't think I am buying more guns. (Why do all women think buying guns is a waste?)
>mom says I smell really good and she should get same Cologne for my dad
>mfw my mom thinks cosmoline smells good
>irl gf arrives. Give her hug.
>she comments on how nice I smell
>we sit down and gf sends me text
>"you smell really good anon, kinda turns me on."
>long story short gf pulls me off to the side and we do things
>mfw russian cosmoline from nugget is miracle smell that turns women on.
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>>32892330
noice. good greentext.
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>>32892330
fake and gay
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And neckbeads everywhere stormed gun stores stripping the shelves of cosmoline in hopes of scoring some fine tail
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>>32892396
It's true.
I am not clever enough to come up with stories.
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>>32892470
Don't bother.
Cologne only works if you are /fit/ young and rich.
It doesn't matter how goddamn good you smell if you are a fatass covered in cheeto dust and broke as fuck.
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>>32892780
Truee
>>
women expert dated over nine thousand womens
2017-02-05 08:56:21
Post No.32892892
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>>32892780
>It doesn't matter how goddamn good you smell if you are a fatass covered in cheeto dust and broke as fuck.
Women's vision depends heavily on motion and color. The Cheeto dust isn't offensive because for hygiene reasons -- it's offensive because it overstimulates the vision receptors that let them perceive eleventy thousand shades of blue.
Ditto for weight. It's not being fat, per se, that's a turn-off; it's the unpredictable motion from the fluid-dynamic jiggling that demands attention like a flashing light or nails on chalkboard.
If your cheeto dust properly accessorizes with the rest of your outfit, and your neither your tremendous bulk nor your jowls jiggle threateningly, you won't overload their primitive reptile brains nor trigger their predatory instincts.
Money helps, too, but only as a kind of poke-lure.
Trust me, I'm an expert.
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>>32892330
Idunno bout this story....I've de cosmolined a nugget and and SKS and neither had much smell to it. If your girlfriend touched your wiener I guess it doesn't matter
And before you say I can't smell smells, I totally can. Because after hearing you fuckers talk about the smell of Hoppes #9 I bought a bottle and oh baby, THAT is a smell
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>>32892330
>Anon becomes the Moist Nugget
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Nofuns here, what does cosmoline smell like?
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>>32894204
Buy Ballistol for the perfect smell
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>>32894305
Cosmoline
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