>ww3 starts >you're ordered to fly the F35 into battle

>>32801499

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVKlYpP1KEE

>>32801513
fpbp

>>32801499
>nervously enter the cockpit
Pilots are the most cocky bastards you'll ever meet in your entire life. No US Military pilot has ever nervously entered a cockpit.

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>>32801499
>What happens next?

>>32801499
probably get out the same way i got in because i know shit about flying

>implying the f35 was built and operational

>>32801499
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jVCeZ0c9CQ

>>32801513
>dramatic music
>try to start up F35
>error message
>reboot
>hardware failure
>IS drops drone bomb on you

It catches fire and the project is delayed for 10 more years.

>Sit there all day trying to figure out how to start the engine

>>32801641
What happened there?

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>realise im alpha as duck
>stick my 14 inch Dick into the controls
>jet moans
>its an Autobot bitch
>she's loving it
>take off while I fuck the jet
>my menergy is giving her so much power that we fly over russia, china, north Korea, and the middle east all in one day
>I drop hot sticky loads on them all
>win war
>become hero
>retire rich with my Autobot bitch and her autobot bitch friends
>mfw

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>>32802071
>alpha as duck

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>>32801547
Not all pilots fly fighters.

>>32801499
You realize you don't know how.
You fumble for an instruction manual.
>Congratulations on your purchase of a Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II joint strike fighter...
The hell?
How did you even end up here?
The radio comes to life:
"What's the holdup there on the runway?"
"Uh, just... running... checks. That's a thing you do with planes, right?"
"Yeah, that's right, but you know... tick-tock, war and shit."

Fuck.
Flip buttons at random.
Something happens.
You accidentally retracted the landing gear.

Jump out and run real fast.

>>32802066
Ship got BTFO
>>32802035
Try asking nicely?

>>32802088
If your dumb enough to look at the gear lever, then raise it and hit a red button with warning stripes around it labelled "downlock override" you deserve to be waterboarded.

>>32801499
>What happens next?
The nukes land and WW3 ends.

>>32802084
>no gliding a helicopter
What is auto-rotation for 500, Alex

>Sir why am I the one piloting the jet I have never flown a plane before in my life I'm just a cook

I kill some foreigners and sleep soundly the following night.

>>32802105
Ah, tism.

>>32801499
>nothing
>fuck wheres the NATOPS
>god damnit how do I turn on the APU
>ok APU is on... hmm fuck where is the refueling point so I can get a fuel load...
>ok... waiting for my fuel truck now...
>1 hour later
>ok finally fueled
>continue reading NATOPS for pre-flight checks
>Fucking hell where are the maintainers to do their own pre-flight checks
>shit... where's my com-loader for my crypto
>2 hours later, Maint control is yelling over the radio wondering why the fuck im not ready to launch
>maintainers are all sitting down/laying down outside under the wing bored/sleeping/wondering why i'm so dumb
>3 hour mark
>in desperation break a light bulb in the flightstation along with "accidentally" zero'ing a piece of comsec
Whelp damn planes down sorry guys, guess we have to CANX the flight.

>>32802130
Controlled crashing

>>32802259
Much like gliding

>>32801499
Wonder why they crammed an infantryman into a massively expensive jet
It's probably broken isn't it, they just want some boot to blame shit on don't they?

Get ground crew to start the plane for me while I drink coffee in the naafi

>>32801499

I GTFO while trying to make sure that I don't touch any buttons or switches.

Rule #1 concerning military hardware: Do not try to use weapon or weapons system that you have no training for. I'm infantry, what the fuck do I know about flying jets.

>>32802591
Pffft, I'm a pfc.

I press all the buttons while making machine gun and explosions sounds with my mouth

>>32801499
Betty screeches: PLEASE SWIPE CREDIT CARD TO CONTINUE

>>32802736
Top kek