2 million of these birds invades your nation's farmland.

Well it's America.

Wildlife departments at the state level declare them pest species, able to be destroyed at will.

Then the problem solves itself as every motherfucker with a bolt gun and a free weekend goes shooting birds.

>>32789693
Canada? Invasive species, so hunting without a licence. It would be a Fucking field day.

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>>32789693
story that actually happened
>be me
>be at toronga zoo with the missus
>she's my qt russian waifu and wants to pet kangaroos n shit
>we go to children's section to pet kangaroos
>out of nowhere random emu starts sizing me up
>after standing perfectly still to not annoy the fella i realize he's actually attracted to me and he's red rocket is out
>i push him away and he then ejaculates on some blonde haired women with some sort of western european accent
>mfw almost molested by an emu in front of my gf

>>32790462
When I was a lad an Ostrich wanted to fuck me.

I feel ya cunt.

>>32789693
They are the birds of peace, they are enriching our birdphobic country.

>>32790488
she laughed and took pictures whilst the emu was kneeling on my shoes staring right into my eyes

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>>32789693
can't beat the birds

>>32789693

stop being a cunt

>>32789693

I for one welcome our new emu overlords.

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Tactical nuclear strike.

>>32790494

Well I just want to enrich them with a 20mm gift of love and compassion. It's called cultural exchange anon. Don't be so racist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOPZQHTNUs0

>>32791414
>t. trudeau

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>>32791449
Jesus christ my sides

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>>32791449
The emus cannot stop the eternal anglo

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Are crows allied with the emus?

>>32789693
>murica
the problem would be over in a couple of days

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>>32789693

>be reserves corporal
>on some shitty field ex
>chilling with medical staff because skate as fuck
>medical lieutenant comes up to me
>"uh corporal anon im just going to take a piss m8"
>"yea ok m8"
>she waddles off into the bushes, im just tryin to get fuckin hexi stove to light in bullshit pucka wind
>two minutes later hear a shriek
>lt running towards us with pants down
>emu bounding behind her in full stride
>mfw

how she didn't die or get injured I'll never know

Only 2mil?

No one notices and tales of ostrich cryptids circulate until someone with a fun finally comes across one and bulletrapes it

>>32789693
Train them, use them for transportation, use them, home defense, breed them and send them in to invade and overrun foreign nations...

The possibilities are endless.

England. A bunch of rich cunts would dress up in red and chase them on horseback with packs of slavering dogs. Other cunts would protest about bird rights and try to stop them. Meanwhile, the Government would call for a bird cull and exterminate every farm chicken, duck and fowl in the country and release press releases on how many millions of 'dangerous birds' they have saved us from.

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>>32792490

>Yfw America's contingency plan for a rogue Australia is a secret army of birds

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>>32792373
Do Australians say "leftenant" the way Bongs do?

>>32789693
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-0aRh7zRhE
'Merikuh

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>>32791826
> 1 killed 9 missing

Emus don't play man.

>>32792986
They're the ones who stayed behind to set off the nukes

May Australia forever honor their sacrifice

>>32792707
>For once, Emus can fly.

>>32792547
>>32792490
I'm thinking of chocobos now

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>be germn

I guess its obvious

>>32789693
Same way we deal with the hog problem.
Miniguns and helicopters.

>>32792986
>"hey jim, why the fuck are we fighting emus?"
"I dunno man, but this is bullshit."
>tfw 9 people desert
>1 dies bc he didnt change his socks

>>32789693
surrender.

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by doing to them what we did to the bison.

>mfw driving around shooting these things inna pickup with a cowcatcher with my buddy in the bed with a rifle in a redneck drive-by