>OI MATE, GIMME YOUR MOBILE AND YOUR WALLET OR I'LL SHANK

>>32473096
Oi! Chav nicked me mobile! I'm right chuffed innit! Me bird is twenty stone!

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>>32473096
>be british
>can't legally carry knife
>can't legally carry gun
>get stabbed

god i love being american

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pocket sand to the eyes

then it all depends on my adrenaline level to either just break his knife and/or his arm

>>32473096
say "GET A LIFE, BIN THAT KNIFE" and he'll naturally oblige as is natural for british people to do.

>>32473096
"fuck you cunt"

Give him a galaxy note 7 and clear the blast radius

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>>32473168

>>32473168
>The body count rises to 400,000 today as offical sources confirm the detonation of a high yield nuclear weapon in downtown London...

>>32473096
"but knife are banned here, how is it possible ?"

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>>32473168
[faintt rule brittania sounds in distance]

>>32473096
I'd give them to him, but only because my wallet is empty and my phone is a broken Samsung G3.

So he'd either feel sorry for me and give me a few bucks, or get pissed and stab me for being a waste of time.

>>32473127
hehe

>>32473096
>big ben wongly chimes 12'obong
>tea time
>*teleports behind u*
>Tut tut, Regretfully I inform you that this is quite an unpersonal course of events old bean...

>>32473260
Are you mental? Tea at 12 bong? No. A proper English gentleman starts the day with a morning tipper at 8 1/2 bong, followed by pre-midday crumpets (elevenses) at 11 bong, next is afternoon tea at 3 and a quarter bong (followed by compulsory chorus of God Save The Queen), teatime at 5 bong, supper at 7 and two thirds bong, and lastly a nightcap at 10 bong.

>>32473222
>High yield nuclear weapon
>Body count kek

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>>32473096

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>>32473096
Dial 911 because some australian tried mugging me with a knife and I placed two shots to his chests.

>>32473096
Okay. Don't do anything rash. I'm going to slowly reach for my wallet

>place hand firmly on grip of pistol aboce back pocket

And pay you in lead!

>quickly draw weapon
>it's a dildo squirt gun

Mugger: ...

Me: ... I am the law!

>punch self with dildo squirtgun

>burst into treats

>>32473096

Tell him you've recently converted to Islam. Seeing as how he is white, and European, and British to boot, he will most likely commit suicide right in front of you, after taking some of his fellow whites along with him.

Here in the USA, it will be something like "okay buddy... I don't want trouble, take my wallet..."
(reach into pocket, pull out .38 snubby) bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!!!)

>>32473096
Draw and put 8 .45 holes in their chest

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>>32473239
>G3

>>32473784
how most of /k/ would end up

>>32473096
Uh, sir, need I remind you knives are illegal to carry so you are in big trouble mister just wait till- UAAAARGHH

>>32473096
>pull out cz75
I'M STANDING MY GROUND

>>32474236
>Remember I have no right defend myself because violent crime can't happen without firearms

>>32474008

I was about to tell you something like

>are you stupid... we has....

But then I remembered, you're right, most of /k/ is no guns.

>OI MATE, GIMME YOUR MOBILE AND YOUR WALLET OR I'LL SHANK YOU UP

Pull out my GLAWK and tell him to drop his knife and lay face down.

If he runs: Shoot him.

If he hesitates: Shoot him.

If he does as I say: Ask him what the fuck he's doing in Texas anyway.

>>32473096
>Step back
>Draw gun
>RIP kneecaps
"Buddy, I don't care how things worked where you come from, but on this side of the Atlantic, we don't take kindly to a cuckold waving a bayonet around."
>Kick knife away
"Now let's see what's behind this fairy disguise!"
>It's me
>YOU THOUGHT THE MAN WITH THE GUN WAS ME, BUT IT WAS HIM, DIO!
I hate myself for typing that

>>32473135

Pocket...sand

Pocket sand

In all my years in /k/ I've never seen this, what in the fuck

>>32473096
https://youtu.be/CAYkoXtulWI?t=27

>>32474595
>all my years of /k
>doesn't know about pocket sand
Whatever you say

>>32474470
what if he shanks you?

>>32474595
you must not have been here more than a year then

>>32474736
Practice good retention and shoot him.

Just give it to him and move on. A yank would try to pull his gun out, hit his fat gut on the way through and drop his gun. His kids would then commit a mass school shooting cause that's just what they do in memory of their overbearing, redneck, tobacco chewing father.

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>>32474780
>Australa
You can't fool me that easily, Australia.

>>32473096
shank myself before he can shank me, id love to see the look on his face then

>>32474780
Lefty isn't welcome here.
>>32474997
>He can't stab me to death if I do it first!

>>32473096
Walk in the other direction, it's not like I'm cornered and it's not like he wants to stab anyone that badly

>>32473096
>"Thats my purse!"
>"I don't know you!"
>I do not know them.
>Proceed to kick in the testicles.
>Continue to be a failure in my father's eyes.

>>32473127
>Hey! That urban youth stole my phone! I'm very happy, isn't it! My girlfriend weighs 200 Lbs.

Any bongs here that can rate my translation of limey speak?

>>32473096
Bludgeon him in the face with a chainsaw because fuck wasting expensive as fuck unobtanium (non ethanol gas) on a stupid git that's trying to hold up a forester who's carrying a chainsaw.

>>32473096
AM I BEING DETAINED

>Implying you can stab shit with a blunt AK bayonet.
Come back with a better knife or I'll rape you here and now, I swear on me mum.

>>32475342
2/10

>>32473135

Put the knife into his spinal cord below his vitals. Carve a message on his cheek that says "I am glad you suffer"