>Be me >Be patrolling the Mojave >Wishing for a nuclear

>>32442054

I've seen that guy!

>be me
>NCR soldier
>on weekend leave
>go to Gormorrah cuz boobs
>some guy im nothing but underwear, high off his balls comes in
>kills like 10 people who work there
>pretty sure I saw him eat someone
>leave

I hate this place

>>32442093
That guy is weird as hell
>be me
>stationed at camp Mccarren
>random stranger starts talking to me about about Betsy
>tell him how she was raped by the fiend cook cook
>he leaves for about 25 min
>he comes back and tells me he killed cook cook
>goes talks to dharti
>gives him cook cooks head
>proceeds to kill four members of the crew and leaves
>whole base is on alert and told to shoot on site
>comes back dressed in nice armor, no one seems to mind

>>32442054
>Be me
>Guarding the border outpost off the long 15 with my trusty N99
>Guy comes up and spooks me out saying that the next town over was attacked and sacked by Legion
>ohshit.jpg
>Getting ready to go pack my bags and go AWOL to see my wife and kids before I'm killed for being NCR
>Guy comes back with Vulpus Inculta's head attached to his dick
>Starts saying he's sorry and that he was doing it for the "XP" and normally he's got good karma but the chems made him do it, before he runs off again.

I still want a damn nuclear winter or at least an easy assignment like Janet, Fucking Janet. Everyone knows she blew the ambassador for it.

that is gay

>>32442279
The only gay thing around here is the Legion, bunch'a poofters is what they are

>tfw no nuclear winter
>tfw no sweet ranger sequoia

>>32442306
dont have any idea what the hell you just said. no one would ever want to wish a nuclear winter, you do know that with radiation comes diseases.

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You know when I got this assignment I thought there would be more boy pussy

>>32442054
>be patrolling highway to novac
>2 of us
>originally 3 of us, Mike died
>at least I got his hat with the cool goggles
>mainly shooting mole rats and eating them because california rations taste like ghoul pussy
>occasional legion boy, but our biggest aggressors are vipers covered in cooking pans
>suddenly see man stripped naked with a flying TV following him around
>comes up to me, says hi, then runs off before I can reply
>looks at blown up legion guy that tasted Eddie’s thumper
>he gets the most twisted look on his face
>he picks up the dead legion guy’s head
>I shit you not, picks up his head
>suddenly he’s dressed like a legion guy
>notenoughmeadforthis.holo
>he dashes past us toward Novac
>Eddie takes out binoculars, taps my shoulder laughing
>gives me binocs
>Watch in horror as strange guy walks right past legion patrol heading our way
>goes into each of their pockets and places hand grenades
>Eddie screams “holy shit did he just do that or do I need take leave?”
>they approach
>the one fucker with the flag on his back looks me dead in the eyes, takes out his machete
>hear “degenerates like you belong on a cro-”
>all of their hands simultaneously explode
>an entire legion patrol exploded before our eyes
>take their stims and eat their squirrel on a stick
>I fucking love squirrel on a stick

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>Be Veteran Legionary
>At Fortification Hill
>Word comes down that Caesar (ave, true to) has a new degenerate doing his bidding
>Never seen this degenerate before
>Here of his exploits
>Extremely impressive
>Came to us when he was in good standing with the NCR
>Might not be a degenerate after all
>Showed up to the Hill while I was on a raiding party and beat everyone in the ring without being struck
>Took down Camp McCarron by himself
>Talked almost all major factions into backing us in the next attempt for Hoover Dam
>Actually want to be under this guy's command
>Caesar suddenly dies
>After doing to required mental gymnastics to accept how my god king died, Lanius takes over
>No more sweet boipucci time but he knows his shit
>Says this guy is going to spear head the next attack on the damn after he assassinates the NCR President
>He does it
>He eats his heart too
>This guy's a mad man
>Day finally comes
>Able to serve under this glorious agent of the Legion
>Meet them
>It's a woman
>mfw someone beneath me has managed to accomplish so much more
>mfw Lanius respects them
>mfw a woman is going to lead the next attack on the Dam
>mfw Caesar wouldn't stand for this
>mfw

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>Be stationed at Mojave Outpost
>Be the quartermaster
>It's boring as hell but at least I'm not gonna be crucified by the fucking Legion
>No cute bois either
>Start getting lonely
>tfw when fucking Caesar is more accepting of fags more than the NCR
>One day some random guy in nothing but a dirty t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts comes up to me
>Kinda cute though
>whatever, not like any of these hicks would be into me anyways
>give him the same old "caravan, citizen, or pilgrim?" treatment to fill out the log book
>Major Dhatri and his fucking logs
>Almost immediately starts hitting on me
>wtf my squad-mates are like 5 feet away there's no way they aren't hearing this
>They're all frozen in place
>Let him down easy and say that maybe we could meet up once I take a leave to go to New Vegas
>He gets some of his shitty armor repaired and leaves
>mfw all my squad-mates know i'm a faggot
>mfw when we never even met up
>I fucking hate the NCR

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> Be in New vegas
> gambling in the tops casino
> Suddenly guy wearing leather armor, and a fucking welding mask walks in
> Notice he Keistered a .22 pistol
> Wtf how did the guards not notice that?
> Whatever keep gamblin
> Suddenly he goes up to some guy in a checkered suit
> Hear an altercation
> Out of nowhere the guy in the checkered suit and his buddies start shooting at the guy
> Guy eats like 7 squirrels on a stick and injects like 8 stimpacks
> Holyshit.holotape
> He unkeisters his .22 and starts shooting at them
> I run for my life when he starts fucking throwing dynamite everywhere
> God please help me
> When i finally hear everything die down i go take a look at the commotion
> Everyone is in bits, the weird guy picks up checkered suits head
> wtf?
> He pulls out a fucking shiny casino chip out his fucking severed neck
> Surely hes going to be in huge trouble, the robot guards will be here any minute
> Mfw he just walks out the fucking casino, no one tells him a thing
> Everyone just goes back to gambling like nothing happened.
> Bodies are still there, no one gives a shit
> whatever
> sit down and play some blackjack.

>>32442316
Sigh, look up Fallout New vegas

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>>32442054

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>>32442054
>Be me, Claud
>Be living in Vault 24 all my life
>We are taught the True Meaning of existence growing up there
>Spending every day in the workshop so that we will be ready on the day we return to the world outside
>We're told about the wasteland above and how inhospitable it is
>And to remember the traditions and special days that made that time wonderful, before it was lost
>After years of hard work I am promoted from a class Green to a class Red
>Senior vault dwellers who manage the workshops and will be the first to be chosen to go out into the world when the doors open
>The benefits of the position are many
>From sweet delicacies and the finest of drinks, to the opportunity to meet curvaceous women who are looking for a man to keep them warm
>Finally
>At the start of the new year, at the end of the annual celebrations
>The Overseer announced that the time to open the doors was soon at hand, and all must re-double their efforts so that we may bring out gifts to the outside world!
>BestDayEvar.pip
>Work hard getting everthing ready
>Even the Greens are excited!
>Curvaceous Mrs.Claus is excited too
>Almost a year passes and doors finally open on the even of the annual festival
>I march out in my red vault suit, my back slung over my shoulder, ready to confront the world above...
>WTF!?
>mfw there's no snow!
>mfw it's hot as fuck in my fur-trimmed red suit!
>mfw people keep trying to kill us when we go to give them presents!
>mfw noone has even HEARD of Christmas!!!
>FUCK Vault-Tec!

>>32442316
git out newfag

Reviving.

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>>32445360

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>>32445380

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>>32445420

>>32442054
>be me. Brotherhood of steel knight.
>mysterious child appears on base
>states his name is arthur. fag.
>Elder Lyons takes him under his care.
>Dies
>sentinel Lyons receives promotion to elder
>takes Arthur under her care.
>nameless vault dweller shows up, looking for work. dude's pretty based but everyone knows he's slipping Sentinel Lyons the dick.
>she taps him for assistance on a three man patrol for supermutants
>He refuses
>patrol leaves short.
>sentinel Lyons doesn't come back. Only the Kid
>we found her a couple miles out. shot in the back. Incidentally all super mutants on the patrol route were dead and encountered five miles back.
>This fucking kid killed her.
>report this to the lancer captain
>"We can't punish him." He tells me
>WHYTHEFUCKNOT.PIP
>THIS KID IS MAXSON'S DESCENDANT
>Lyons' death is covered up
>The outcasts start to return
>Fuck this I'm out.
>travel to boston
>somehow they call me the scribe.

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>Be working as quartermaster at Hoover Dam
>shits good, feel dutiful knowing that my supplying of the troops is what keeps the Legion at bay
>No action lately, so plenty of ammo
>Colonel Moore has this new civilian contractor helping us out
>Word comes down that this civvy is allowed to trade with me for our stocks
>mfw finally meet them and they are wearing some scorched power armor with a god damned bear head for a pauldron and a fucking cape
>whatinthegoddamn.7zip
>decide to salute thinking it might be one of the top brass
>They tell me they're the civvie the Colonel allowed to trade with us
>Say that if they were serving they'd be halfway to general by now
>They proceed to buy all of the ammunition and explosives we have
>mfw they manage to shove all of it in the crevices of their armor
>mtw the Legion could attack in full force at any moment
>mtw we no longer have any ordinance except for what the soldiers have on them
>mfw they bartered the price down to half and we only have 10000 caps
>mtw thats not nearly enough to buy more to properly defend the dam
>mtw high brass will have my ass for a three course meal
>I could save myself and pay out of my own pocket
>mfw I don't have enough caps
>Itstimetogamble.png
>dammit, too far from the strip
>mfw I got this assignment, I was hoping there would be more gambling

>>32442054
THIS
>work in shitty strip casino
>some guy comes in with 22 pistol
>whatever it's not a fucking wmd like the shut the war cranked out
>he leaves for like 30 minutes
>comes back in our uniform, loaded
>some of our whole store is dead
>o shit
>so scared I don't say anything
> he leaves me alive

>>32442054
>TFW my hunting rifle has a 69 marked on it and I didn't noticed till know