A submarine on a cartography mission within the arctic circle

>>32137352
Call the Coast Guard. See what happened.

Fire up an Arktika class Icebreaker with a secondary frigate with helicopter support

Smoke weed and sleep. Fuck that shit, what am I going to do, save them? Nigga I can't lift a sub, I can barely lift my Marlin 22.

Pay some Eskimo bros to go do it while I plow a polar bear. What else am I supposed to do?

>>32137352
>You will have to go solo.

Niqqa I aint havta do sheeeit

>>32137861
can you imagine how big your cock must feel if you flew a rocket assisted arctic C130 ?

>>32137352
Airdrop me close with a snowcat.

>>32137553

This nigger knows what's up. Specially after OP said you're going by yourself to save them.

send another sub

>>32137352

I take a Lee Enfield No. 5 MK I and a P90

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>>32138028
Canadian Rangers to the rescue!

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>>32138044
KEK'd so fucking hard! Snowniggers are the fucking worst. Lazy & completely delusional. Theyr'e the next Islamic republic like Sweden.

Man I've watched the X-files I ain't going near that fucking sub fuck off with that shit.

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Far too spooky. Best course of action is to send in a nuclear tipped cruise missile, then indefinite monitoring via satellite.

>>32138094
Bingo

>>32137861
Seeing those take off from Alert is so awesome.. then the realization that you're stuck there until it comes back sets in.

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>Take pic related
>Walk over to sub
>Pick it up
>Cut it in half with a big knife or something
>Pour out contents of sub
>Smash any skinwalkers
>Drop sub pieces in Langley parking lot
>Go home

White winter clothes with the lightest insulation possible, solar powered hovercraft with a backup engine, lots of canned food, mre's, and water, a propane heater, a full auto kriss vector in 10mm suppressed with a red dot, a Glock 20 with a qd suppressor, and a Scar-H 308 with a FLIR thermosight 8x scope and a suppressor

just nuke it

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>>32137352
Burn everything that isn't me.

>>32138318
Great fuckin movie, I forgot to put incenorators in my list

Send a icebreaker, and a seaplane tender with a flying boat.

Recon the surroundings first, then land the flying boat to get a look up close.

>>32137352
>You will have to go solo.
Turn 360 degrees and walk away.

>>32138291
I dig it

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Bring a acetylene cutter, M16A2 with 3 mags, a wetsuit, diving gear, and a GPS.

>>32138475
Space can get a little tight once you're in the sub, anything for close quarters?

>>32137352
On top of the usual gear and gps I'll have one of those arctic prepped toyotas, a small tanker trailer full of fuel, an AK, and a flamethrower.

The rest of the budget is my fee.

>>32138570
Oh, and one of those 2 stroke powered radiac saws. Those things are boss.

>>32138650
You're boss anon

>>32138134
This

Sub is probably up to the fucking brows with baby cthulus

Build a Guinea Pig Bridge

>>32138291
>solar powered
next sunrise is in March

>>32137352
Continue to burn coal and petrol. Eventually global warming will melt the ice.

>>32138285
Fucking kek anon I'm dying.

>>32140152
kek

Unlimited budget? Ok then
>5 polar bear skin coats sewn over eachother with buffer layers of whale blubber and whatever goes in hand warmers
>same with pants
>space suit on top of it all
>a custom made amphibian tanks
to carry heating and oxygen tanks for space suit and my other supplies
>3 H&K G11s and an AUG so I look cool in case I end up killing aliums
>pipedream extreme mega masturbator and a gallon of lube
>a robot that can do most of the shit for me so I can stay in the tank and fuck my rubber ass
>also no less than 3 real women that I can fuck while the robot kills aliums or whatever
>magic to make me 30 pounds lighter, 4 inches taller and add 2 inches to my penis
>and majority stock of Apple, Microsoft and Google

>>32138291
>8x
>inside a sub

>>32137352
>You will have to go solo.
Why?

>>32137352
Send a uav and airdrop some men in

>>32144520

>Not reading

>>32138291
I don't think you're going to get too much solar energy up in the artic

>>32137352
Fire up the icebreaker boys it's time to save some ruski-

>You will have to go solo

Aww helll na-

>Budget is reasonably unlimited
Hmmm......I think I could man an icebreaker solo... but do I want to..... fuck it, taking the icebreaker, and rigging up flamethrowers on all the railings as an active area denial system if this turns out to be some kind of paranormal shit again.

Why can't shit like this happen in nice places, like Bonaire, or the Bahamas. No it has to happen on the ass ends of the earth.

Anyway personal loadout
>cold weather gear
>MP7 with supressor (fuck tinnitus!) I'm thinking hollowpoints or frangible ammunition
>copy of sub's captain orders and any codes needed to scuttle the sub if needed
>fusion warhead in the icebreaker that I don't have the codes to on a timer and along with tamper rigging so I can't just to use five minutes on wikipedia to try and disarm it.

God I hope is isn't like the Volkov... still get the shakes from that nailgun incident...

>parachute in
>knock on the hatch
>no answer
>parachute back out

>>32137753
somebody post the deer pussy screencap

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>>32144814
>parachute back out

>>32144828
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulton_surface-to-air_recovery_system

>>32144816
?

Unlimited budget?

>the worlds best noise cancelling ear pro
>P90 (I ain't paying for it)
>some fucking intel, layout, secret orders etc
>a lot of explosives in case I need to scuttle it

I can't imagine firing a gun in there is going to be pleasant

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>>32137753
>plowing a polar bear
YOU'RE DEAD!

>>32137364
I bet it's time to call back Gordon Freem... I mean Chris Costa.

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Come on guys, you're making it sound so bad! Just get a modernized version of this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kharkovchanka

>The off-road vehicle had a small kitchen, toilet, oven and 8 beds.

Then replace things with comfy stuff and/or equipment and live inside the vehicle! Add a trailer for fuel if you want to.

>>32145755
>turning spooky mission into a comfy one
Well played.

>>32142690
This.

>>32145755
That vehicle weighs 35 tons. It was deployed to Antarctica which has actual ground. If it hit a weak patch of ice in the Arctic it'd fall through.

Maybe an LCAC would work?

A second, bigger submarine!

>>32138086
>He's never worked with the Rangers
They may be mostly chugs, but I learned a shit-ton about Arctic navigation and survival from them.

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take lots of weed

>>32137352
i bring 15 sled dogs (for food and transport), enough to set up a tent surgery, and solar (if summer)of some sort to power, for comms, and negative pressure in trauma yurt. otherwise its as much, high protein food, fuel and shit i can manage. also I write a strongly worded letter why the USA or whom ever lost the sub cant bother spending enough to send out a chopper, ski plane or something more than one skinny fat neet to rescue a bunch of sailors

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>attempts to reach the crew have been unsuccessful. Their last movements reported an unidentified stationary vessel, 5 minutes following a brief radio transmission came through with yelling and alarms going off. Aerial imagery shows the sub surfaced
Heard this story before, fampai

>>32146027
context?

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>>32146041
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_submarine_K-219

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bring some refreshing apples

>>32144730
what is he missing, bitch? He pointed out the most obvious flaw in that /v/ tier junior-high loadout.

>>32137352
An AR-15 chambered in .458 Socom with about 5 mags, a CZ-75. A few MRE's and a shit ton of water. And probably a radio to signal the outside to blow the fucker sky high in case there's some skinwalker bullshit. And you may ask why .458, if it can take down niggers high on PCP in one shot every time, it'll take down skinwalkers.

>>32137352
transport is an electric snowmobile with a combustion cell and a DPD stowed on the towed sled
ice auger

geiger counter, dosimeter badges and reader, gamma camera
telescope
high-powered binoculars with light amplification
IR scope
UV scope, just in case
NVG headset
directional microphone
arctic-rated sunglasses
compass, map, sextant, GPS/GLONASS,
satcom rig
laptop
mini-RUV
fixed wing surveillance drone

thermal camo uniform, wetsuit, rebreather&fins, full CBRN gear, particle filter mask, plate carrier +plates, winterized Nakdika for the vehicles, thermal camo tent

APS underwater rifle
Stinger, RPO-M
AI Arctic Warfare rifle in .300 BLK customized with a TrackingPoint kit, bipod and suppressor
HK 416 also in .300 BLK, suppressed, with underbarrel grenade launcher and an ELCAN digital
30mm smoke grenades, stun grenades, colored smoke grenades, HEI grenades
Glock 20, suppressed

laser designator

flares, chemlights, projector, IR lamp, UV lamp

food, water, heating packs, medkit, chemical interrogation kit

the plan is to set up base camp as far away as possible, say 15 km, have a look at things with the telescope and the drone,
make an OP at about 6km and start listening and nosing around with the RUV, possibly planting a hydrophone or three on the hull itself, depending.
a day or two of this should help me decide if I will approach under water or on foot
from there on in, it all depends on the breaks

>>32145948

Guys, he's right. That thing is 35 tons. It'll fall right through the ice and sink to the center of the earth.


Also, I know what's wrong with the sub. It's 6000 tons and just realized it can't float. I mean come on IT'S 6000 TONS. It's not a frilly necked lizard.

>>32137352
> white parka and matching pants, balaclava
>sten, webley mk VI, and enough C-3 to destroy the sub
>sled and dog team + skis for transport

>>32146022

>skinny fat

wat?

>>32144520
That's for my approach to the vessel, the kriss and Glock are for CQC dumbass

>>32144755
It's daylight in pic, that's what I planned for. Also BACKUP ENGINE that runs on gas

>>32140408
It's daylight in pic, that's what I planned for. Also BACKUP ENGINE that runs on gas

>>32146102
No cost limit so why not have the best?

>>32147724
I settled for the Glock because muh capacity

>>32146802
Sorry your cozytank becomes a coffin when driven over 4 meter thick ice. Let your butthurt be a lesson.

>>32146802
>this entire post
Is this how slavs understand the world?

>>32144755
It's like 90% sun up there you fool. Daylight goes until like 2300

>>32137352
Get the Polar Star to bring an MSRT while I relax on the boat with a capri sun.

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This is exactly why god created air to air refuelling.

Give me some tankers and a Chinook full of rangers and I'll go down there and see what's the matter.

I might want some CAS on station in case it's Russians or the Andromeda strain or something and I want a JDAM on that sub.

just wait for the fucking ice to melt in spring. you guys act like I have to do this right now, they're all adults, they can take care of themselves

>>32147864
>Sorry your cozytank becomes a coffin when driven over 4 meter thick ice. Let your butthurt be a lesson.

Guys, they're right. You can't spread out weight over 2 tons. More than 2 tons and it just goes straight down. Somebody better call the aircraft carriers and tell them they don't work anymore. They're way more than 2 tons.

>>32148020

It's how you view the world using math and science.

Cobalt bomb it

>>32144828
Check out the song Jungle Work by Warren Zevon, it's /k/ as fuck

>>32145288
HOLY SHIT FULTON EXTRACTION IS REAL?

>>32137352
>reasonably unlimited budget
>transportation is up to you
So, the gov't's gonna pay for all my boomsticks & gunfood, but I gotta buy (with my own money) the nuclear submarine that's going to bring me under the ice to the hull of the stranded sub?
>oh wait
There's an unidentified vessel?
>inb4 ayyy lmao
Okay, so: fuck you for forcing me to get to the stuck submarine by traveling above or across the topside surface of the polar icecap. Fine. I'll go ahead and take out a big loan for one of those totally sweet snowcats unless the gov't finds it in their infinite wisdom to provide at least a ride to a point within a couple of miles of the submarine. Attention, anon! Greentext commencing:
>be in snow cat
>be 3.14 km from sub
>dismount snowcat
>look to horizon
>nice flat ice
>open crate
>remove components
>assemble sailskateboat
>poetry mode enabled
>[classified poem redacted due to {....}]
>sonar can't ping my fast little ride
>eyefuck the sub through the scope of my rifle while approaching at 25mph+
>dismount surface sailcraft ten meters from sub
>arrive at sub conning tower
>deploy drones through hatch
>little drones quietly fly into submarine interior
>multiple cameras & meters
>drones clear bridge
>enter bridge
>immediately set to work installing explosives in such a way to turn the interior of the sail into the equivalent of a kill-roam with walls made of thousands of pounds of dynamite
>sailtop rigged to detonate sail killroom
>cameras and motion sensors, too, with remote detonation capability
>mission continues by clearing section after section with drones while holding down the bridge
>ample opportunity to nope the fuck out of there in the event they find something above my pay-grade
>just climb back out, close hatch behind me and detonate from a safe distance when *IT* is inside sail
Okay, so my loadout?
###############
>Ruger Redhawk Alaskan .454 Kuh-sewl cuz polar bears
>HK M-420 Carbine w/40mm underlug 'nade-chucker
>idk lol fuck you
#molonlabe

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>>32146054
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_submarine_K-219
>...on 6 October 1986 the K-219 sank to the bottom of the Hatteras Abyssal Plain[10][11] at a depth of about 6,000 m (18,000 ft). Britanov abandoned ship shortly before the sinking. K-219's full complement of nuclear weapons was lost along with the vessel.

>In 1988, the Soviet hydrographic research ship Keldysh positioned itself over the wreck of K-219, and found the submarine sitting upright on the sandy bottom. It had broken in two, aft of the conning tower. Several missile silo hatches had been forced open, and the missiles, along with the nuclear warheads they contained, were gone.[12]

>mfw 34 nuclear warheads were somehow salvaged on the down-low by some incredibly capable individuals

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>>32137861
RATO
A
T
O

>>32148627
It ain't just in batman, you hear

>>32148829
34 warheads are missing..
who in the hell?

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>>32149240
There's only one country in the world that's proven itself capable of salvaging sub wrecks from that deep

>>32145288
>Fulton first used instrumented dummies as he prepared for a live pickup. He next used a pig, as pigs have nervous systems close to humans. Lifted off the ground, the pig began to spin as it flew through the air at 125 mph (200 km/h). It arrived on board uninjured but in a disoriented state. Once it recovered, it attacked the crew.

Sometimes I love wiki.

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Bring an awl. Don't you guys watch TV?

>>32149079
was thinking MGS V, but that's also a thing

>>32146566
solid plan broskie

>>32149557
this

>implying I'm getting within ten nautical miles of that shit
Calling in a nuke strike.

>>32151067
There might be goats on board you can fuck you dirty muslim.

>>32151093
I need more than just any goat. I need -the- goat.

>>32148503
STRENGTH AND MUSCLE AND JUNGLE WORK

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>>32151117
i bet you're muslim

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>>32151189
Nah.

Airdrop me 1000m away. Snowmobile, full arctic gear, VEPR sbr wrapped up comfy and tight to my body, suppressed mp5k with light in pack, suppressed any pistol with light in pack.

Drive to within 350m and ditch snowmobile and grab gear bag.

Set up bivouac 100m away and hunker down with some snacks and observe with optics for a day or so, see if any shit going down in there area. Im just a lil ice cube with a bag of chips checkin shit out.

Go forth and cut into ship with torch. drop some roombas down in that bitch with sleep gas on them. dont need any startled scared sailors or ayy lmaos poppin out. anything that doesnt fall asleep is a The Thing.

Figured a milled ak heated by my body would be the most reliable shit to not crack from arctic temps if i had to fight outside. suppressed PCC for inside.

>>32151189
What is that shit from?

>>32148503

What about Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner?

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>>32151262
A Guide to Kebab Removal: The Movie

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Upon arriving, discover crate with this thing inside.

>>32151217
Chromed barrel, and polymer furniture. Wood would shatter like... frozen wood.

>>32151217
>drop some roombas down in that bitch
i love it

>>32151285

Link related.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHWmxCoTV3Y

>>32151328
so would polymer i figured

thats why i figured most PDW/PCC and pistols i could think of were fucked, either all metal with lots of parts or polymer framed

>>32151457
i.e. i figured a milled AK would survive the cold, so if you actually fire it outside the frame of pretty much anything might crack. mp5 for clearing the sub after i warm it up a bit i guess.

but now I'm thinking maybe we need a gyrojet or just a fucking rocket launcher or some sort. really not generating lots of pressure but just shooting fire out its ass to propel.

rockets good in arctic /k/?

>>32151524
what? dude you just put lower freeze temp lube on the rifle, what are you doing using it as a club? thats what your bayonet is for you big dummy

>>32151538
nah man when metal is all brittle and tolerances looses as fuck from the cold that shit gonna CRACK

its not just cold its fuckin ARCTIC cold. cold as fuck. all this operating is happening in basically a sumo suit of insulation just to keep your ass alive

>>32151561
duh, and bruh its not that cold, you're not using the shit in liquid nitrogen. the steel will still work fine. hell the aluminum will too.
Just use a metal stock and bayonette

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>>32145948

Do you even see those HUGE THREADS?

The weight is distributed on a large area.

Also, I originally said MODERNIZED, use lighter materials and take shit out if it weighs too much. Making shit amphibious is not a problem either, the problem is people who think you can't have nice things in the arctic.

Here, have a DT-30, an amphibious 31-ton vehicle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vityaz_(ATV)

>>32149240
>>32149301

Wouldn't this be obvious as hell or did the Russians not think anyone could salvage a sub at such depths and wrote it off and never watched the site that much for activity?

>>32151633
dude when nations think nobody can recover something due to its depth, they stop spending massive resources monitoring them, especially back then before satellite surveillance was common and relatively cheap due to coverage volume.
changing the angle of a satellite even 1 degree is fucking exspensive as fuck man.
hell sat time is expensive.

>>32137352

Is this the intro to Metal Gear Solid 6?

>>32151606

Also, YES, it is already used in Antarctica.

>Today, Vityaz CTVs are in use throughout the whole territory of Russia, as well as in Arctic and Antarctica.

>They are an invaluable part of the transport services for prominent companies such as Gazprom JSC, Rosneftegazstroi, Rosneftegaz JSC, etc. They serve as primary transport vehicles for the personnel who service the oil and gas pipelines throughout Russia, for geologists and scientists who research the remote and isolated regions. For different industries were produced several specialised versions: DT-30K crane, DT-30E excavator, refuelling vehicles, mobile workshops, mobile oil refineries, passenger transporters, fire-fighting vehicles. Vehicles of kind are in demand not only in Russia, but throughout the countries of the Middle East and Asia, as well as in North and South America.

>>32151594
i think you underestimate what extreme cold will do to a gun. I chose AK because it already functions well with loose tolerances, a lot of guns would jam like a motherfucker. If its something high pressure or with heavy recoil you are definitely risking shit cracking or deforming, obviously large parts, but I could see an all metal M9 or revolver just breaking all fucked. I would not want to shoot .44 in the arctic.

>>32151718
i meant obviously small parts. all that little clockwork shit in HK guns would be all dicked up. if its real damn cold and a slide is working hard, barrel or cylinder putting up with high pressure, splodey dodey

>>32151837
So use half-load 7.62 for outside. Put a loop of blue electric tape around the steel mag so that you know it's for outside.

>>32144788
I'm not aware of the nail gun incident, what happend?

>>32145640
Ayy

>>32137352
Wasn't that an X-Files plot line?

>>32152074
IIRC dude gets shot in the face by a tiny lego technix spider robot weilding a nailgun ends up getting turned into a cyborg by the AI thing that invaded the systems of the Akademik Vladislav Volkov.

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>>32149557
BASE OF THE NECK