>be me once Afghanistan >be fag aircraft maintainer >working

Didn't read the rest but thank you for your service.

Thank you for your service

>>32044460
>>32044564
Just tell your own stories damnit

>>32044652
Thank you for your service.

>>32044456
Thank you for your service.

RE:32045298
Thank you for your service

>>32044456
Thank you for your service

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TANK U FER YUR CERVIX

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE is the /k/ equivalent of DO YOU HAVE GAMES ON YOUR PHONE

Did you ever kill anyone?

Thank you for your service. :^)

Thank you for your cervix.

>>32044456
thang you 4 yur serbigs

>haha lol I went to army guise

XD

>>32044456
Story is kinda meh. But you didn't deserve this level of cancerous replies.

Bumping for more stories.

>>32045602
It's almost as if the Trump-voting majority of /k/ is a bunch of neverserved noguns who think they're cool.

Tank u 4 ur service

>>32045615
15 year olds can't vote.

I never almost got my boss killed tho so nothing to share. If anything my squad leader saved me from dying.

>>32044456
>how have you guys almost gotten your bosses killed?
lol
>be doing night-driving recertification
>driving LMTV's through the NC swamps in the middle of the night
>in the rain, which of course means there's steam and fog everywhere so visibility is basically zero
>with PVS7's because the CO didn't wanna risk our 14's in the dark
>windshield fogged over even with defog on max, PVS7's fogged over because we're sweating like whores in church in full battle rattle because west of Gruber Rd.
>PSG decides he's gonna be a creepy motherfucker and hide in the trees to see if he can startle people
>PSG is black, and this is before ACU's so woodland camo. Innaswamp. At night. Innarain and fog.
>I'm TC'ing a buddy
>he jumps into the middle of the trail like, maybe 10 feet in front of our LMTV, which is going at the snail's pace of maybe 3mph
>neither of us see him, because front end of LMTV is taller than he is and he's too close
>at a distance of about 1 foot he realizes neither of us see him, starts screaming profanities at us
>LMTV's are loud
>he Spartan-kicks the bumper
>"hey I think we just hit something"
>"yeah felt like it. Stop, let's see what it is"
>jump out
>PSG is fucking about ready to have a coronary
>"Oh hey SGT [fuckwad], did you see anything? Sounded like we hit something"
>ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. YOU HIT ME!"
>whoops.jpg

>>32045640
Lol, at least you never had to try night land nav with PVS-5s.

All my Guard unit had back in the pre-ACU days.

Doing MRAP driver training at Carson at night was a bitch too because the PVS-7s I got were flashed out by the dash lights.

>>32045615
Careful now, your projection is showing.

>>32045640
Thank you for your service

>people actively enforcing the stereotype that no one in /k/ actually does shit in combat and war
>probably nogunz noserve /pol/tards trying to clean /k/ from anyone with actual experience and authority over real world matters that could contradict their narrative

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Another one here

>Taliban decided to start flying little drones over the walls laden with explosives and equipped with cameras for targeting
>sneaky little fuckers
>told that if we see one, we are to take cover and if possible, shoot it down
>Rogerthat.png
>doing fag aircraft maintainer shit again, had to drive over to the other side of base for some tools
>I'm driving, drop off SSGT at the ECP while he waits for the people to run out and give him the tools, chillin in the vehicle
>look out the windshield and watch this strange looking aircraft approaching, could tell it looked small and was coming in low and fast
>notice the winglights are tipping wildly back and forth, definitely not something you see on regular aircraft
>it flies over head, realize I just got buzzed by a drone, just as we had been briefed
>shit nigga
>jump the fuck out and start wildly aiming for this flying grenade in the sky
>safety off, charged M16, apparently I flagged the shit out of him
>civilian contractor comes running up telling me to put the weapon down, the drones are theirs apparently
>Sgt verbally beats my ass for trying to shoot down a friendly spy plane and almost wasting him in the process
It was dark faggot fight me
>ride back in silence, whole time shaking his head
>asks me why I didn't tell him to get down if I thought we were gonna be bombed by Air-Taliban

>sorry I forgot

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>>32047713
Last one

>sleeping one day
>barracks are hardened shelters with like a foot or more of reinforced concrete, no sound penetrates the walls
>hear pounding feet outside my door, don't think much of it and go back to sleep
>my supervisor lives in the room across from mine
>hear later that we had been ground attacked, goat fuckers made it through the walls right next to our barracks
>slept through an entire firefight, our good old boys wasted 20+ of them
>SSGT comes back inside later, after I woke up and found out what happened
>he had to literally run past my door to get outside
>WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP THEY WERE RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR BARRACKS YOU FUCK
>looks me dead in the eye

>sorry, I forgot

>>32044456
>be on highway 1 in 2006
>pissing distance from Ramadi doing convoy shit
>chilling in turrent watching left side of road
> 6 hours later still watching left side of road casually glance up the road because 3mph lol
>notice sandpotato standing close to road about 10 vehicles up
>notmysector.jpg
>5 minutes pass we are now approaching sandpotato
>he's still there
>do I say something and get shit on for not watching my sector or -
>sand nigger explodes with the fury of 5 sand niggers
>lol a fucking pipe bomb
>hadji now laying on ground missing an arm and most of his torso
>get to base notice PSG's door covered in gore and scorch marks
>if he had been closer wouldve made for a bad day probably
> PSG "Why didn't we see this asshole"
>Me "I did but he wasn't in my sector and I didn't want to get in trouble"
>PSG "WTF man"

>>32047831
Man, these are the best stories. Make them up
>implying youre not
If you have to, becaus etheyre golden.

>>32048103
You shouldve said
>sorry, i forgot

>>32048132
sorry, I forgot

>>32045637
This.

The closest i ever came to getting a boss killed is when LT was standing too close to me when i was packing the ASIP.

Antennas=shoot me first. First round snapped off said antenna right by my head, second nicked his plate carrier. We dove over a low wall, i tried to key out and couldn't, he swore, we both laughed when our 240s opened up on them.

>>32048127
Sorry bruh, that's all the "I'm sorry, I forgot" story I have so far
I have other random ones though

>>32044456
thebks furt yern zerdicks

>>32048349
shaddap fimf gerds HARMSMF

>I thought it was a funny story
>but who am I to criticize the spouting of memes
>might as well bump

>>32044456
How many people have you killed?? Also thank you for your service can I buy you some McDonald's for my virtue signaling?

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>>32044456
>>32045534

Not a service story, but we had this ghetto chick, transplanted up from inner city Chicago into my rural Wisconsin school, start yelling, fucked up questions at the janitor who was giving a presentation on his service in the Iraq War,

She fucking yells during the Q&A section:
>DIDJEW EVA SEE ONE OF YO BROTHAS GET SHOT!?

The janitor gets a little quiet, looks down, and says yes.

>DIDJEW EVA SEE ONE OF YO FRIENDS GET BLOWN UP!?

Janitor gets real quiet, and the fucko's teacher escorts her out of the auditorium.
Presentation ended soon after.

Who the fuck asks those kind of questions? This was around the height of MW2, and nobody else asked fucking stupid questions like "didja call in attack helicopters" or "didja ever raid tunnels with flashbangs".

>>32048556
Because niggers are a blight on society and she was probably used to a culture of braggadocious monkeys.

>>32048556
Fucking hell m8

>>32048474
>virtue signaling
>Nobody ever does nice things for other because they can and it feels good

>people hitting the ground when being attacked by mortars in post 2001.

Fake and gay

>>32049243
When did he say it was before 2001?

>>32049290
Never mind. I'm gay. Post 2001 you said.

Depends how close they were. I usually slept through our FOB getting mortared.

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>>32044456
>boss
I'm a NEET

>>32044456

Hooah devil dog sick zipper fidelity

>>32049315
>When you see cars/trucks with the GWOT plates

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>be me about 6 months ago
>one of my off days
>wake up, about to go get some pancakes
>hop in truck and leave barracks
>come very close to accidentallying my squad leaders husband because I wasn't paying attention
>distance from bumper to him was about the average /b/ users penis size
>he gets pissed
>troublebrewing.jpg
>get idea
>where's your pt belt sarnt
>he realizes that he is now invisible to cars, tanks, and aircraft and thus I cant be responsible
>he leaves and I never hear shit about it ever
>Mfw my spc bullshit keeps working

>>32049427
Rethink humor. I'm guessing no one laughs at your jokes IRL. Because that's bad.

Just be the quiet boring guy you are.

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>>32048556

>mfw that story

Whats up with Chicago niggers being the worst niggers?

>inna bct
>have a black nigger from chicago in my platoon
>gets his weapon from the armory
>immediately starts pointing it at other people
>ds sees this
>ds is 6'5, 320 pounds
>swole as fuck
>runs through line of trainees getting their weapons
>full blown sprinting
>line of trainees parts like the red Sea
>DS punches the kid right in the chest
>we all get smoked


Based drill sergeant Jackson

>>32049461

No u

>>32049475
DRILL SGT JACKSON
R
I
L
L


S
G
T

J
A
C
K
S
O
N

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>>32049243
Also, I said mortars because I don't know how else to classify what was happening to us, but these were giant Chinese made shits similar to pic related only even bigger. Do whatever you wanna do, but those bitches are scary and I'm gonna duck and cover if I hear one coming

>>32049495

>inna range
>drill sergeant Jackson is demonstrating the M16A2
>talks about how it works etc
>he talks about how it doesn't have recoil
>fires it from his crotch
>takes a trainees weapon so now he has 2 m16s
>loads both weapons
>fires them both from the hip on 3 round burst down range until he's out of ammo
>turns towards us
>"hooah"

Based ds Jackson

>>32049445
>squad leader's husband
>average /b/ users penis size
What kind of queer faggot shit where you in?

>>32049597
>squad leader is female
>acting like you don't see dicks all the time in the military

>>32049566
His name was Drill Sgt Jackson

>>32049670

>doing combatives
>demonstrates a move on the Chicago nigger who pointed his weapon at errybody
>puts him in a rear naked
>chokes him the fuck out

Based drill sergeant Jackson


He's the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now

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>>32049634
>squad leader is female
it's pretty bad senpai.

>acting like you don't see dicks all the time in the military
M8 you're the one looking at your females leader's husband's cock.

>>32049718
STOP POSTING THIS FUCKING IMAGE, I'VE FAPPED LIKE 5 TIMES TODAY GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

You know what, fuck it I'll just filter the md5 hash fuck you and your trap porn

>>32048363
Bork bork bork borkbork

>>32049734
>This is what happens when you don't make your children play outside

>>32049784
I play outside all the time, at least when I'm in VT. I'm in MO right now, and even though it's hunting season hunting is fucking gay here and I don't have my own land.

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>>32049734
It isn't a trap.

>>32049718
To be fair I've never seen his dick specifically, but plenty of others. People just whip them out at work, sharp be damned.

>>32049734
>>32049818
Can confirm, reverse image search found full video, no penis.
I was, of course, disappointed.

>>32049991
Kek