Would /k/ pull a Shia Labeouf in a post-apocalyptic America?

>>31810399
Go away, Hollywood shills

Shia is doing straight-to-Netflix Steven Seagal tier action schlock now?

Or is he doing this as an artistic representation of what former A-tier celebrities wash into?

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holy shit that movie looks pretty kick ass

Sorta reminds me of Jar Head

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>>31810447
Yes

>>31810399
This looks like shit.

>>31810399
1.) The color shift for flashback vs. current events is painfully cliché at this point.
2.) An actor talking about a bind that others can not understand will always have a laughable quality to it.
3.) Sage.

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>>31810462
Needs moar field fucking

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Not going to lie. Shia comes off as a Lance Corporal/Corporal/Sgt in normal life.

If a mass draft happened when we enter WW3 with Russia, there are a few actors I'd immediately imagine being E-4s or E-5s. He's one of them.

Tom Cruise, he'd be a Major by the end of the war.

Melissa McCarthey would be your average supply E-6

Justin Bieber would be an Army E-3 (fuck just look at him) in some POG unit

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>>31810447
I guess he got his wish.

>>31810509
I can imagine Shia being some salty terminal lance, who's pissed off at the world, and hazes the ever loving shit out of his boots

>>31810477
>getting blown the fuck out
>others cannot understand

They don't want to.

>>31810509
>Tom Cruise, he'd be a Major by the end of the war.
He would definitely be willing to suck all the dicks necessary to get to that rank.

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>>31810472
how does it look like shit?

It's Shia as an ex-marine going oper8tor in post-apocalypse/civil war America. How could this not be full on /k/?

>>31810669
His cammies are too clean for one. Not enough salt

>>31810669
Does anyone have this picture, but instead its Trump? Saw it a while ago.

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>>31810509
Tom Cruise would be an O-5 or O-6, easy. He has the dead eyed intensity required.

Every black comedian would be an E-6.

Louis CK would be one of the Perma O-3s or some lonely CW2 this close to killing himself.

Joe Rogan would be an E-7 who tries too hard to be cool with the E-3s

Jennifer Lawrence would be the bitch O-3 Captain looking for a reason to Art 15 the enlisted and throw an EO violation at the male officers

Chris Pratt would be Navy E-8
Mark Wahlberg would be Navy E-7

Vin Diesel would be an Army E-6

The Rock would be an E-9 (any branch)

Matthew McConaughey would be an O-4 with no chance of progressing in rank

>>31810669
Where the fuck are you pulling this pre-civil war shit from. He gets fucked up in the war and then goes stateside and becomes homeless and threatens people with a gun.

It's just Born in the USA with knockoff American Sniper sandy bullshit.

I've inhaled hundreds of hours of nearly unwatchable action shit, and this just had enough budget to afford two or three mid-level hollywood names. I doubt Gary Oldman is even wearing uniform pants in his one scene. He probably just showed up after getting his emissions test then went home again.

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>>31810727
Slutty Army E-4. Perfect casting

>>31810686
His salty cammies got a hole in them from too much use and he had to replace them with fresh new boot cammies.

>>31810735
"In a post-apocalyptic America, former U.S. Marine Gabriel Drummer searches desperately for the whereabouts of his son, accompanied by his best friend and a survivor." - IMDB

post-apocalypse

>>31810757
>kristen stewart as a slutty wook

What movie?

>>31810869
disregard. I read the filename. I'm an idiot

>>31810869
Filename, bruv.

>>31810757
>So we want you to be an ugly girl, none too bright, who only got where she was by sleeping around constantly.
>Basically just be yourself. Oh and if you want the role, you know the drill, the lube is next to the couch.

>>31810937
>implying kristen stewart needs the lube

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>>31810727
DiCaprio, Navy O-5 constantly under investigation
Hill would be his fat O-3 crony

>>31810727
>>31810727
>Matthew McConaughey would be an O-4 with no chance of progressing in rank

More like no desire

Elijah Wood would be an O-1 who's already near mental break

Orlando Bloom would be either an extremely young O-4 or a really old O-3

Jon Bernthal would be a WO-2/3 or a Petty Officer rank, he's got the stuff for officership but just doesn't want to put in the work

J. K. Simmons would be an O-8 who just constantly has some twisted internal monologue about how the army ain't what it used to be going on

Kevin Spacy would be on the Joint Chiefs board
Fuck he might just BE the SECDEF.

James Spader is the O-6 who's just a little too old and a little too rough to be an O-6 and you wonder how he got there and how he's stayed there, but the noticeable forward lean he has makes you too scared to ask about his service term

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Again, perfect casting

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>post-apocalypse America
>no post-apocalypse scenes

>>31810561

Also gets drunk and slaps ppl like he always does.

>>31811001

She wasn't pregnant.

>>31811005
That shit costs money you know.

>>31810735

You really are retarded.

>>31811029
They could just strap a GoPro to the hood of a race war truck and do a few laps through Baltimore

>>31811011
And it would be some E-7's kid

>>31810509
Woah woah JB in a POG unit...god damn I left the Infantry to be in a skate position and now you want to through this shitbag in my POG unit?! I want to request mast/talk to the monitor/ I promise if you don't put him in with us I will haze my boots more.

>>31810866
>>31811040
no its not actually post apocalyptic its all in his head you cocksucker

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>>31810702
I got you man

>>31811046
So that footage of the Dindus was actually for the movie and not just Dindus in their natural habitat? Wow Hollywood stepping up in realism.

>>31810965
No Christian Bale, Kurt Russel or Keanu Reeves? Three big real life pro gun celebrities?

>>31811146
>Johnny Depp

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>>31810965
Adam Sandler would be some creepy fuck Navy or Army E-7, also constantly under investigation

Brad Pitt would be the O-5 everyone likes

Robert Downey Jr would have some weird untouchable rank like CW4

Ben Affleck would be another careerist officer, another guy stuck at O-5

Johnny Depp, E-7 whose on a first name basis with every junior enlisted chick. Or one of those guys that retires as an E-6. He'll claim every disability in the book.

Matt Damon, O-5 with political aspirations

I can't think of any big actors that would end up enlisted. Maybe those Ghostbuster chicks. They give me an Army E-7 vibe.

>>31811146

I'm just running a gauntlet as they come to mind.>>31811146
>Christian Bale
E-6 all day
>Kurt Russel
I haven't seen one of his movies in so long tbqh I wouldn't even know.
>Keanu Reeves
Dude is too cold to be anything less than a O-3 in a SOCOM unit or some alphabet soup unit.

>>31811080
I could see this. He's being haunted by the ghost of his former friend. Who's to say he's not hallucinating the world around him going to shit too

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>>31811146
Bale would be a British SOF officer. I could see him being an OF-3

Kurt Russell, retired E-9

Keanu Reeves, USMC Raider or Army SF E-8. He's too sedate to be a SEAL.

>>31811241
Bale's too intense to be an E-6. He's officer corps but he'd want to avoid staff work

>>31811215

>RDJ as W4
Everyone knows W4s don't exist!

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Command Sergeant Major or 1SG

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>>31810866
>Didn't get that at all from the trailer
>Google it
>It really is some fucking post-apocalypse thing

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Great threat, OP is not a Fag.

>>31810958
I nearly choked my lunch from this.
Fucking kek

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Lt Col in a USMC Air Wing.

Oh wait

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Air Force O-2s

>>31810757
and she would only go for the married black E-6 and above, instead of chasing that officer dick.

>>31811001
did she drive drunk in Japan and kill a local?

>>31811146
>Kurt Russel
that crusty full bird Col that only shows up when you and your buddies are smokin' and jokin'

>>31811215
>Matt Damon, O-5 with political aspirations
no, he wouldn't have the time for that, he would hit Cpt and stick around to have at least some company command, then get out and hype that shit in his tv ads
>deep serious voice
>Matt Damon was a officer in the Army
>Matt Damon commanded a company of soldier during the war on terror
>Matt Damons apposing candidate NEVER SERVED!
>NEVER SERVED
>Vote Matt Damon for Congress!

>>31811548
god I love it when the female butter bars still act like the college party girl crew

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The most passive aggressive admin O-3s you have ever encountered.

>>31810727
Wait, did that madman actually climb the fucking tower in real life?

>>31812171
But who will play the cute E-3 wook over in S-4? The one that all the battalion hits on

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The Chaplain