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Big musket

9mm is fine for self defense
Get a Glock 19

>>31803625
Just get a duty size CZ/Jericho/P series Ruger/Beretta 92 series/etc. and magdump 9mm

more 9mm is always better than one .45

You can literally carry almost twice the rounds with a 9mm than a .45.

>>31803742
How many shots are commonly fired in self defense acts?

>>31803781
1-3 shots is average., but if you find yourself in an outlier, it's good to have more capacity.

Thanks for all the help guys, I'm going to do a bit more research to make my decision now though.

>>31803781
i dont agree with anon's full size suggestion above, but it would be better to have too many rounds than too few.
>>31803895
thats a really good idea. theres a lot of shit out there but theres a metric ton of info about self defense pistols

>>31803625
>based on your requirements
Springfield XDS 45
M&P 45c

>based on what my friends and I have shot & carried
Glock 43/26
M&P Shield 9
XDS 9
Kahr CM9

>>31803625
If you want HOME defense, I'd reccomend a full size service pistol or a long gun. Long guns might be easier for you to obtain, and will be easier to learn to handle well.

They do run the risk of over penetration though, but that's really the only downside for HOME defense.

Now a service pistol could also be used for self defense outside the home, so that's something to think about. If you go with a pistol I'd reccomend 9mm, but .45 is fine if you don't mind carrying or stashing extra mags. If you wanted to carry out of the home, with just one mag then I'd be more concerned and want you to stick to 9mm, but in the home, capacity is not as big a concern.

.40 S&W is a compromise that leaves neither side happy, so I'd steer away from that.

Now, if you want to conceal, you'll likely need to get a CCL, so that might be months away. In that scenario, I'd get a compact gun, like a Glock 19 or smaller. I'd look for either .380 or 9mm for that, maybe .32 but you're already concerned about stopping power so... maybe not. For all the modern subcompacts, the PPK still shoots best for me, though it's a bit wide compared to new guns.

I'd see if you can find a range to rent and see what fits best.

>>31804469
>but .45 is fine if you don't mind carrying or stashing extra mags
Might be inadvisable since OP has mentioned he's new to guns. Guns without training are useless, and .45 ammo is expensive.

Get a full size Glock (disclaimer: I hate Glocks, but practical people seem to agree that though it's ugly, it works just fine), train, keep on living as usual.