Daily reminder that the NSA monitors /k/ the most closely

>>31783865
I guess the NSA must have a lot of interest in dragon dildoes, then.

>>31783865
Daily reminder that they prolly just sit around and jerk off at their desks, not accomplishing shit. The odd shitpost in the /arg/ every 20 or so minutes I bet.

Hear that you Big Brother fucks?

>>31783865
I was under the impression that the NSA scoops up all internet traffic wholesale, and filters it through keywords/phrases rather than potentially miss traffic by babysitting specific sites.

If anybody is monitoring a site specifically, it would be FBI, ATF, CIA, the equivalents of those three for other nations, and local police.

>>31783940
Look faggot, I'm trying to make a living like anybody else.

>>31783865
Yeah probably, I'm honestly surprised Muslimbro hasn't been vanned yet considering the shit he posts.

>>31783969
They are actually monitoring us closely, but not exactly the way you think.

I know /co/ is actually watched by the NYPD and Homeland Security.
Of course /pol/ is being watched, and so is /int/, but it's kind of funny and obvious about how cut and dry the monitoring of their threads is.

However, /tg/ has had more than a share of people who were playing Magic and running campaigns inside those listening centers.

>>31783865
nope
/pol/ by far

>>31784012
Nah, /pol/ is satire and shitposting. Meanwhile people seem to take /k/ super seriously, which I find funnny

>>31784024
We're the only sociopaths on 4chan that can actually kill you.

This is why in the bad old days the worst /b/ raids never lasted more than forty five minutes or so. They'd smother other low traffic boards like /x/ for days, but not us. They were vaguely aware there was something kinetic on the other end, and even /b/ found it unnerving.

>>31784005
>/co/ is acually watched by the NYPD and Homeland Security.

why? That seems like such a waste of resources.

How do I get that job?

>>31784062
Yeah, okay, sure bud. You just proved my point that faggots here take themselves way too seriously. Go back to jerking off to chicks with dicks

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>>31784062
>sociopaths
>can actually kill you
>even /b/ found it unnerving

>>31784072
I think he's just saying that /k/ has an arsenal were as /b/ does not

>>31783865
Probably /pol/ more than us. /k/ passes more background checks a year than the other boards for sure.

>>31784079
Well, yeah, okay? I'd rather be locked up in /k/'s basement than /b/'s though.

>>31784094
At least there would be beer and checkers

>>31784098
Exactly, plus /k/ isn't nearly as underaged as /b/

>>31783865
Too inconsistent for evaluation.

Gerbil Green to Yellow Canary. The seasoning is too much. Return by train.

>>31784109
But i bet one of the pieces would be missing and you would have to use a coin or something as a stand in.

>>31784109
well that's because you need to be of a certain age to own firearms.

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Let them. All they'll find here and on my PC, for that matter, are pictures of guns and trannies.

>>31784121
Probably
>>31784122
>/k/
>owning guns

>>31784133
This isn't /v/, we actually enjoy what we talk about

>>31784133
(you)

>>31783865
>Smith! What are they talking about now?
>Sir, from what we've been able to gather, it's just a bunch of cross-dressers talking about chicken nuggets, and dragon dildos.
>I see. Nothing pertaining to firearm violence then?
>Well, we see threads about 'hunting spooks' quite a lot, but they never usually lead to anything.
>I see. As you were Smith, don't let anything fall through the net.

>>31784005
>I know /co/ is actually watched by the NYPD and Homeland Security.
Why? What do they have to do with leaking information or making weapons? Is it because some of them fap to western lolis?

>>31784147
Hmm
>>31784148
>being this new
It's well established that most of /k/ are nogunz faggots

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>>31784167
Have you done research?

Stop talking about it as if it's a fact. Yes there are nogun posters, but you don't possibly know if the noguns outnumber the hasguns.

>>31784177
noguns have always out numbered the hasgunz

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>>31784185
>anecdotes are now facts

>>31784197
>my anecdotes trump your anecdotes

How often do I need to replace the half ton of composite c I keep in my garage /k/? The internet seems to think if stored air tight in a cool dry place it can remain reasonably effective for about 3 years but I worry I won't be ready for the happening.

Reminder that /k/ is the easiest board to troll.

Probably /pol/, too.

Like what the fuck is this clown hunt bullshit and wtf we invaded Iraq and Afghanistan after being attacked by Saudis, we fought communism in Asian jungles, etc etc.

Nothing makes sense.

>>31784217
that's not how it works kiddie. I never claimed anything apart from stating that there are noguns and hasguns.

You're the one using unreliable personal account as a stance.

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>>31783865
Hello NSA. If you are watching, move my mouse.

>>31784109
>>31784122
also the fact guns are not cheap.

>>31783865

>the board with tons of open local, state, and federal law enforcement needs to be monitored

No. The actual cops that post here I think have a handle on our autism. Turns out some of them are cool. Some cop recently joined our steam group and he's pretty chill.

>>31783865
Hello NSA-chan. I hate America and hamburgers.
I also hate baseball and your "football" which isn't even football to begin with.

I hope Hillarump (the mutant your CIA boyfriends created from steamcells of both candidates) cucks you even more while al qaeda sends an army of explosive goats against your mac donalds and starbucks. Especially starbucks.

Cheerio !

>>31784062

>sociopaths

Oh look, a retarded tripfag. You never see one of those.

>>31784258
AT&T girl?

>>31783865
I guess this would be a good place to start planning my next clown attack. What melee weapon would you guys recommend to strike the most terror in the eyes of liberal college students?

>>31784635
Logic.

>>31784120
Is this a riddle?

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>>31783865

>NSA

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>>31783974
Kek

>>31784005
I didn't know Homeland and the NYPD had shit taste.

>>31784120
DELTA GREEN!
DELTA GREEN!
PISCAPO IS HERE AGAIN

>>31784239
>we fought communism in Asian jungles
Well it's not like it wasn't actually there.

>>31784606
What are you talking about? We see Phil every day.

We seen it all

>>31783865
If you're going to waste tax payer money, might as well do it while looking at dragon dildos.

>>31783865
Haven't you heard. You right wing extremist are responsible for all 33,000 gun related deaths. Not suicides or niggers in the city.

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>>31784164

>>31785034
My friend has ruined me.

I didn't use to like lolis before her.

>>31784005
>I know /co/ is actually watched by the NYPD and Homeland Security
So they sit around and story time all day? Sounds great

.gov agents are getting paid to shitpost on /k/.

My taxpayer side says waste of resources, but my other side is jelly DESU senpai

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>>31783969
So the NSA has quite literally a list of script driven trigger words.
>revolt
>revolution
>hack
>insurgency
>resistence
>dragon dildo

>>31785101
REGICIDE
ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
REVOLUTION
BABBABOOIEBABBABOIE HOWARD STERN'S PENIS

just don't shoot my dogs.

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>>31784122
Daddy bought me a Glock 17 when I was like 14.

>>31783865

Maybe just for pollitical purposes.

The most monitored boards are /pol/ and /r9k/, that has actually had its good share of real life mall shooters

At least we don't post CP and shit

>>31783865
Clinton, Bomb, Hillary, Kill, Trump, TNT, RDX, Sniper Rifle, JFK, Sodium Nitrate, Quicksilver, Contact explosive, Wireless explosive, Cellphone.

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>>31783865
We know. We like to excite their boy fantasies.

>>31783865
Cunt, rape, kill, hillery, bomb, trump, maim, dismantle, the, government, fuck, the, NSA, my, dick, is, bigger, than, yours, Mr., analist, cunt, sucker, Hillery, for, Prison, Trump, for, mental, asylum, jihad, Iraq, Kill.

That should throw him for a doozy.

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>you will never get paid to lurk /k/

>Johnson! The Illuminati Triangle God Eye, is lighting up like a Christmas tree!
>Sir, it's just a shitpost from the hacker 4chins
>Johnson why are you masturbating under you table?
>For America sir, and dragon dildo

Typical scenario at the NSA

>>31783865
>Daily reminder that the NSA monitors /k/ the most closely out of all the 4chans

You're a dumbass. The mods on /b/ are actual cops after people started posting pics there after murdering someone.

And /pol/ gets way more attention than us. No one cares about /k/.

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>>31784127
Don't forget reaction images.

And a whole folder of some weird Euro guy with both Nazi and death fetishes posing as entire units in terrible uniforms.

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>>31784127

>>31784120
The chair is against the wall.

>>31785525
We call him Jawman.

Come at me NSA. You're gonna have to swim if you want to get me and my reaction images and my waifu folder.

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>>31785547
The folder is labeled "JAWS" for me

>>31785534
Goatse Yellow Canary, You are fisting to MOOOOOOOOOOOM

>>31784094

These days /b/ is pretty tame. Just a bunch of teenagers rolling for dubs and fapping to facebook friends.

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>>31785597
Yeah, pretty much. It's not even a good source for tranny porn anymore.

>>31783865
>>NSA
>>not monitoring /pol/ the most

ok

>>31784122
Lol I had a shotgun, a bolt action rifle, and an ar 15 when i was 14

>>31785620
>NSA
>giving a fuck about butthurt tumblrinas and muh racism
kill yourself

>>31784070
/co/ is mostly liberal hipster college faggot millenials who say outrageous things.

Honestly dude, the comic book/movie industry is more politically charged due to preasure and knee jerk reactions from social media to bow to millitant or threstening SJW's and monitored than anything or anyone else.

And it's nothing new, Hollywood has been contrarian and antagonistic to the US goverment since the cold war.

Further, fictional entertainment actually has a stronger impact on people than you think, next to the bible and religious figures, comic book super heroes are idols for the young and old and messages and beliefs those characters hold are passed down to their fans.

Hence political agenda lobby groups try to use vomics and caryoons to influence youth and the next genrration.

I mean, the Punisher is more of a threatening idol for militia types than real world vigilantes or war heroes.

>>31783865
Which doesn't make sense as all the illegal stuff is going down in /b/ and the so called racists are in /pol/.

>>31783865

No it doesn't.

/k/ is a harmless neckbeard hangout mostly filled with dimwits.

>>31784314
What's /k/'s steam group?

>>31784635
Wiffleball bat (one of those big fat fuckers, the plastic ones that are hollow) filled with either lead or concrete.

Guarantee any clown or person that you hit with that you will likely make mentally handicapped for the rest of their lives.

faggot look at the meetup pictures. the only thing /k/ will ever do is have homosexual orgies using lard as lubricant and mosins as dildos.

>>31785297
Anon stop your triggering there filters.

>>31784666
Trips of truth

>>31784154
Fucking KEK

>>31786003
I would pay money to see a neckbeard try to lift and swing a piece of lead the size of a wiffle bat.

>>31784062
nigga, pls.

Just cause you have a gun or two doesn't mean you're a Big Guy. Drop the "I so ebil" act and just live in the happiness of kstew threads, dickgirls, and the occasional light-hearted adventure

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I really hope my 4chan history doesn't fuck with my security clearance.

>>31783865
You are missing the point of the NSA. The point is to get dirt on politicians and others in power so they may be blackmailed by the deep state into compliance.

NSA / .gov et al doesn't give a shit about violence, violence is job security to the state, why would they want to stop it? The fact that terrorist attacks have gone up over 9000% since the "war on terror" started is not a coincidence.

>>31786620
if it dose im fucked

>>31786451
I've watched kommandos fire s 35lb .50cal unassisted from the standing position. There's quite a few fit kommrades.

>>31785525
Does anybody have a link to some more of his stuff?

>>31786620
I've been posting here for about a decade and nothing's happened.

Then again, I try to keep things civil.

>>31784993

Not like it wasn't in America either!!!

We had a Communist political party for fucks sake.

Must have been a fucked up time to be alive.

Imagine if we had an ISIS political party. What the fuck, man

>>31783974
Has the trend towards standing at workstations instead of sitting reached the NSA yet? It's 2016, sitting is the new cancer.

>>31785525
What's the story behind these? I see them all the time.

>>31785569
top kek

No we don't.

>>31783918
Dildos as blunt weapons are no joke

>>31786852

>I've been posting here for about a decade and nothing's happened.

Same here, I ain't been civil though.

but I'm also not a Burger so i guess not quite at risk of being on an NSA list

>>31787421

>And a whole folder of some weird Euro guy with both Nazi and death fetishes posing as entire units in terrible uniforms.

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They do?

>>31787367
Yes.

>>31783865
Remember kids, don't bother shooting down the drones, shoot their operators' families!

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subj: BENKOLI SERRI (TOP SECRET - Iran)

Laurie Greig, Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security, New Zealand Government Communications Security Bureau (GCSB), told Korean Central Intelligence Agency (KCIA) about Solenzara (Southern Corsica) frenchelon station : a blac block hacktivist sent CRW (UK Counter-Revolutionary Warfare)`s encryption products & snake oil backdoors to Revolutionary People's Liberation Party/Front (DHKP/C) !

Ask 21st Space Wing`s contact of Vivendi Universal corruption Dpt via http://www.mi5.gov.uk/ for Ref. USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDOSASSTIXS, NAVWAN, NRL, RL.

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subj: SECRET VOJNA TAJNA (TOP VERY SECRET - Balkans)

Nikolai Patrushev, head of Federal'naya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti (FSB), told Ukraine's Security Service (Sluzhba Bespeky Ukrayiny - SBU) about Mayotte (Indian Ocean) frenchelon station : a covert agent sent CJTF (US Counterterrorist Joint Task Force)`s civil rights anonymous remailers logs to People Against Gangsterism and Drugs (PAGAD) !

Ask DoD-C3I (Command, Control, Communications, Intelligence)`s contact of Alcatel law enforcement and copyright infrigment Dpt via http://www.dia.mil/ for Ref. AADCCS, DABM, DAIRSDIA, DALATS, DALATS, DIFAX, PSM, SECMANs, tampering.

>>31784258
I wouldn't mind clicking her mouse, if you catch my drift

>>31783865
>not r9k

>>31785036
who?

>>31783865
Hello Nessa

>>31783865
>Daily reminder that the FBI monitors /k/ the most closely out of all the 4chans
>FTFY

t. NSA

>>31784062
If you aren't classic Phil, you're just as retarded as him

>>31785331
>Hillery

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>>31784062
You such a fucking faggot it's not even funny

>>31785873
>No it doesn't.
>/k/ is a harmless neckbeard hangout mostly filled with dimwits.
yes but reminder: those same dimwits happen to continually pop up at events like bundy ranch or some protest where 2 /k/ dimwits ended up shooting a bunch of protestors.

the feds obviously monitor 4chan more than any other social media but who cares? not like anyone really cares about your shitposting, if they did they would have lists of tens of millions of people. would be pointless for them. some jerk politician or bureaucrat who doesn't understand memes told them to put this place under surveillance and now some poor underpaid rookie has to read god awful shitposting to keep his job. kind of funny when you think about it.

>>31783865
trick question if you've been online since 1994 your conection has been monitored

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>>31787421
It's exactly what it seems like, little boy.

>>31785101
>>31785132
DAMN IT YOU FOOLS OUR COVER IS BLOWN OUR COVER IS BLOWN

>>31786620
If srs, very unlikely. Maybe if you need Yankee White (working with the president) AND you also have some other vital National Security role, AND you had some shady computer shit in your background that they discovered or you disclosed it could be a remote possibility.

>If you're just fucking around on 4chan you're safe dude.
>t. former intel guy

>>31785132
ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

>>3179218 REVOLUTION ASSASSINATE OBAMA KILL ALL NIGGERS

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>>31786620
I think its more complicated than just checking what websites youve been to.

If anything it could be helpful. I like to think the NSA knows all about me due to past tracking and has put it all into some sort of algorithm to evaluate personalities and has deemed me harmless and secure :^)

They also probably think im stupid because ive never been contacted and they must know id like to be some sort of spook janitor or something based on my porn profiles or whatever ;_;

O--oh god, what if im not harmless and dont realize it?

>>31783865
And the NSA is probably staffed with a bunch of gun owning Americans who won't fuck people over unless they're practically forced to, similar to how the ATF operates these days.

Unless you do something extremely stupid in public(Like on this forum), your risk factor is pretty low.

>>31792181

I DIDN'T LIKE THE NEW GHOSTBUSTERS

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>the NSA monitors a bunch of hyper degenerate furfags with guns
wow I'm so spooked

>>31792214
THAT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE IN THE SAFESPACEIFORNIA OF ALL RELIGIONS AND KINS GET THIS TERRORIST

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>>31784258

I know a phrase that will have all government agencies monitoring /k/ so hard that all other websites will be pulled out of. Wanna know it?

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>>31783865
Hi Mr. NSA, hope you enjoy werewolf porn you fucking quadruple-niggers.

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>>31783865

> mfw they're spending government money to watch me jerk it to lactation porn and play minecraft

>>31784094

> /b/
> scary

Sheeit. /b/ is a bunch of retard 12 year olds these days. I have kids that could punch their way through half of the people on that board.

Wanna know who fucking scares me?

/aco/

Those fuckers just ain't right. /k/ generally is either noguns faggots or guys who hold down steady enough jobs to purchase vast armories. Neither of these types are likely to flip out on anybody. A guy who jacks off to the shit on /aco/? That motherfucker either has or is planning to have small children tied up in his basement.

>>31792378
Admittedly I've never been on /aco/ what's so bad about it

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>>31792378
I lurk all three of those boards...

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>>31783865

I routinely flip off my mac's camera because I'm 99.5% sure I'm being heavily monitored.

My ex's uncle is the current NSA Director Admiral Michael Rogers.

I'm not even bullshitting. Second I learned that I just gave up all hope of not being monitored and recorded. I only have important conversations in person now.

>>31792399
its just /d/ with a more western art style emphasis, i dont see whats wrong with it, its my favorite yellow board.

>>31792378
Thats just silly. I dont even have a basement!

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>>31790162
I'm guessing Zone-Tan but I'm not sure,

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>>31784062

>>31792299
The magic phrase is what gun is good for penetrating armored cars and bullet proof vest at a really fast rate (don't monitor me pls just a Shitpost)

>>31792399

/aco/ posters are degeneracy given physical form.

I went in there once. Once. /pol/ is drunken fun. /b/ is a graffiti-smeared monument to a bright moment in our history. /k/ is autists who somehow hold steady employment fondling $3,000 safe queen rifles they would never sully by shooting.

/aco/ is the beating heart of madness. It is the open maw of despair. It is the unmoving hub at the very center of the worst our species can conceive of.

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>>31783865
I pray for the poor soul that'll have to rifle through my porn folders and internet history. Honestly though I'm really not concerned, they'll find me being a degenerate, calling dumb people absurd racial slurs quite often, and loads and loads of gun pictures.

>>31784606
Phil's been here longer than you kiddo

>>31791419

>some protest where 2 /k/ dimwits ended up shooting a bunch of protestors.

Literally not how it went down at all, but thank you for Correcting the Record: :^)

>be signals intelligence
>gather signals
>nobody notices you
>work really hard at being best at intercepting signals
>everything goes well for over half a century
>suddenly out of nowhere you are the bad guy

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>>31785101
>insurgency
i didn't know the NSA played that game
i wonder if they're any good

>>31784062

>I'm the only faggot jerking it to ladyboys and holding alt-right moralistic views because I get no pussy

Fixed it just for you, Phil.

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>>31784062
>sociopaths

first time on k
cool guns
Second time on k
I swear I'm not looking at the cute anime cat girls with guns
third time on k
Looking at futas with guns yeah what are you going to do about it.

Now
Filthy sexual degenerate monster girls furries all with guns ....

>>31792213
Except that they're on /a/ because they're massive nerds/really autistic.

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>>31783865
It must really suck being the NSA agent that has to read posts on this site.

Wonder what effects it has on the normie brain.

>>31785270
Has it? Only thing I can think of is that guy who cut his balls. Supreme gentleman though the bannerchild of r9k was a redditor