/wfg/ Writefag General - "Bunch Of Lazy Namefags Around

>>31766171

Fuck it. I'm feeling generous:

FALWritefag
>Argentinian Rose
>Rifles of 'Nam (on standbay)
>Pale King's Disciple (ongoing)(updated)
http://pastebin.com/u/Falwritefag

ATannie (ongoing)(updated)
>Anon gets an AT random Mischief ensues
>Rhinno 2.0
http://pastebin.com/XbWjWNQM

[[ATannie Part 1 pic related]]

JtFag
>Ayys attack earth, old school tanks are last hope (ongoing)(updated)
http://pastebin.com/1qS4EqXS

Guard
>world building(NOT A BASELINE)
http://pastebin.com/233BFr42

AngryHayseed (ongoing)
>Some 40k related writefaggotry
http://pastebin.com/Jy6K92kt

HiPointHomie (on hiatus)
http://pastebin.com/eBS29hA2

Vepr 12
>Hotline Waffegeist series (ongoing)(updated)
http://pastebin.com/u/Vepr12

AnonRhino (completed)
>Lil'Chiappa
http://pastebin.com/JFGrpdjP

kragfag (ongoing)[give me a better subtile]
>anon finds that a Mongolian knitting board was right
http://pastebin.com/D6ZFXMz3

Anon-kun
>L1A1 Parts Kit+Arms of side+just another day
http://pastebin.com/KH5XxAZG

PTRfag
>Light My Fire (standbay)
http://pastebin.com/JY3jiKq4
>NOT CANNON ENDING
http://pastebin.com/iP9w19ar

Another Hipoint story (it´s not related with Hipoint anon)
http://pastebin.com/Af3icZWS

/k/ommandos vs wild (ongoing)(updated)
http://pastebin.com/Sa6N0je7

dudebroguy
>Some Untitled Stories
>National Guard vs Jersey Devil
>Requiem from the gods (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/1cXMnvg4

EchoFiveSeven
> Gun spirits
http://pastebin.com/PpjUvW5k

Not Enough War (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/QMbRQpVL
http://pastebin.com/LRS2ZBrC

10/22 (ongoing)(updated)
>anon gets a raifu and misc stories
http://pastebin.com/uH6v780b

DBW
>Anon gets KSG, roll for sanity loss
http://pastebin.com/r6REt9Gt

It Ain't Me- Fortunate Sons
>Sticks and Stoners(ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/98XiGE6z

Rhodie FAL Guy (being rewritten)
http://pastebin.com/G0edSbFC

>>31766189

Garandfag (ongoing?)(NSFW!!)
>Anon gets hold of Kraut space magic
http://pastebin.com/2nDwG567
>Part 2 of anon gets a Garand (missing part
http://pastebin.com/YqeuEkcN

C8 fag (ongoing)
>C9
http://pastebin.com/HLu19bQJ
>C8A3
http://pastebin.com/nLAN53zg

Lever Gat Fag
>Heirloom rifle (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/gFjLFfKR

556X51 stuff
http://pastebin.com/u/556x51NATO

Ak 4OR (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/MQQyKaf3

Tacticalchucks (ongoing)
>Chucks and Erica
>Down the Road, Over the River
http://pastebin.com/u/Kolt1911

Anons
>It's about /k/ommandos removing supernatural kebab in the dark ages
http://pastebin.com/43gfWSPf
>Some poetry
http://pastebin.com/rJEfGKRf
http://pastebin.com/BErbeUTY
>Shotgun prevents a suicide (feels)
http://pastebin.com/g9srRrDn
>L1A1 (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/sCgZk6Nc
>Serial 1: SHTF, /k/ommando must survive (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/n4HLCXC0
>Tears of a Marlin
http://pastebin.com/06Rbchbb
http://pastebin.com/2rXfAxVM
>Shire Rifle Society
http://pastebin.com/EYjz8Trx
>A WG mades it towards the 40th century
http://pastebin.com/BVwARMkp
>Riikka
http://pastebin.com/u/tsuhna
>AAI
http://pastebin.com/rqG4x42X
>Don't sell your guns
http://pastebin.com/nY7nLVZe
>Untiled(ongoing) [we'll put a title 'till it's kinda clear were this is going]
http://pastebin.com/u/AH64AnimeGirl
>Feisty Muzzleloaders
http://pastebin.com/WJnSYPYv
>Howa arrives (ongoing)
http://pastebin.com/xtSPHVDU
>Viktoria
http://pastebin.com/5StKUQ9k
>a short story of the rifle watching over it's owner as he went through life
http://pastebin.com/8nuWJjnU

This stories are on an undifined hiautus
http://pastebin.com/fS17qWb7

Some google docs of writefaggotry
http://pastebin.com/JUuF7HjC

>>31766171
>addition

>>31766387

I've been up for like forty hours at this point man. Calm yourself.

>>31766404
>needing to sleep
>ever

what are you, a filthy casual?

>>31766430

Believe me, if I were allowed to change even one thing about myself, that would be it.

>that outdated sticky

Tsuhna
Riikka (ongoing) (Updated)
untiled (ongoing) (suggest him a name)
http://pastebin.com/u/tsuhna

>>31766171
>I ain't archivefag
Hah, I do the least work of the namefags, you're thinking if polybus, who's probably killing it on that date.

>>31766716

He's also the one who's on my ass in the previous thread over it. Forgive me my transgressions.

I don't suppose AAI anon was going to continue his story? I thought the abusive dynamic was interesting.

>>31766502

do not suggest him a name. he is an elf of the north and will swear an feud neverending against you if you do.

>>31766841

Don't make jokes bro. That's how it starts.

>>31766742
It's all good, just don't want to be given credit I don't deserve mate.

>>31766969

I get it.

Friend was supposed to give me a ride to meet my CL hookup. He ended up fucking off to do whatever else instead and killed the mood for me to write. If you guys want more of C&E's adventures I can start something here soon. I already started working on part II.

>>31767176

You need better friends.

>>31767176
1. Get better homies
2. Hipoint is interested in a collab with you from last thread
3. Fuck yeah, more pinoy goodness
So what does ko mean in honey/baby ko?

Oj pizdec
Webm is 51 mb
youtube just told me to go fuck myself for trying to upload it

>>31767298
Ko is possessive, so if you say "honey ko," it means "my honey." I think.

HiPoint, where you at? I would love to put something together.

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>>31767448
Sup, homie.

>>31767464
Working on Chucks and Erica, teaching my kid brother and his friends about WW1 through the use of vidya. Pretty good time 10/10. What were you thinking on the collab?

I was planning on continuing
>>31763228
right now but

real life is in the way

maybe in a couple of hours

>>31767494
Good shit. I'm bout to head out to a Halloween party for the evenin.

What'd you have in mind? I didn't see anything bout one till I was browsin last thread since I've been out and about today.

What brought up doin a collab with me of all people? I'm interested, just have no idea where the idea came from.

is today 10/22's favorite day of the year?

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For everyone coming in tonight to read Light My Fire (PTR/HK), it has been updated since last night. The sticky is up to date, so y'all might want to get caught up. I will wait until later tonight before posting it's continuations.

JTfag, you hang tough for me.
Polybus, hope that date goes well. You're the unsung hero of these threads.

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>>31767625

I was waiting for someone to notice that!

>pulls out notebook
>flips a few pages back
>scribbles a name off the list

>>31767625

But it's 22/10... Oh, wait. Colonials. Damn you for making me feel like a fool

>>31767558
Dragon Dildos, actually. Someone mentioned them and I was like "I've always had the thought of ghetto white girls and weird rubber dicks, and the HiPoint carbine does kind of resemble a DD."

I was thinking of writing something concerning shotguns. Don't know if they've ever had 'geists but it interests me.

>>31767755
I was joking!

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>>31767773
I wasn't.

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>>31767755
>>31767773
Oh boy, imagining my HiPoint girl finding a dragon dildo is hilarious.

And I'd be down. I'll hit you up tomorrow if I'm not hungover or stuck in the library doing research

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i'm sort of... running out of steam on the JT stuff. I do have an idea on where it should be going, but i sort of have harder and harder to write.

Like, at first, it was all okay, and it didn't matter because no one would take it seriously anyway, but now i kinda feel it has to be to some sort of standard. I dunno, are you guys still reading it or is it just too long?

>>31767960
I'm atill reading it Fluff

>>31767960
im still reading it

>>31767960

You gathered a following by writing what and how you wanted, and people liked it. Just keep doing that and it will work out. You worry too much.

>>31767960

I still read it onee-chan

Don't worry about having to hold yourself to a standard. Just write what you want to write. It's your story, not ours.

>small zone of confort

http://pastebin.com/fLYuCuHz

>>31763671

>I drive down the road as she endlessly plays with the radio, and if there was ever one time you regretted getting satellite radio, this was it.

>Before long she squeals with joy, causing me to wince

>"I love this song! Have you heard it before?"

>"I can't say I have. Have you?" I asked, lightheartedly challenging her

>"No, but I really like it..." She says, looking down embarrassedly

>"Well if you shazam it I'll put it on a playlist so you can listen to it any time" I say before pulling my phone out, opening the app and handing it to her

>She taps the screen and shows it to me.

>"The Surgeon by Infected Mushroom"

>Huh. That's an interesting name for a ban-OH SHIT

>I jerk the wheel hard to the left to avoid missing my turn, followed by a scream and a loud THUNK

>"Unnhhhhh"

>"Shit, V are you alright?" I look over to see her still seemingly stuck to the window with what appears to be saliva on it

>She peels herself off of it, rubbing her head

>"Can you please give me a warning before you try to kill me next time? I really didn't enjoy that."

>"Sorry, that was my mistake. But on the bright side we're finally here. Wanna go in?"

>"Yeah, sure."

>I walk ahead of her to catch the door for her and follow her in. By the time I get back to her side she's gazing at the pictures on the menu like they're the most beautiful thing in the world

>My wallet is practically screaming already

>"What's that thing?

>"That has wings and chicken fingers. It's probably what I'll be getting."

>"Can I please get two? I'll make it up to you if you do!"

>I force a smile and approve, and she orders two for herself and one for me. I nearly cry as I see my total on the register. Thirty fucking dollars

>Oh well. It's worth it so long as my Viktoria is happy.

>For some reason she asks for a cup of water as well. The woman behind the counter hands us our cups and she runs off to the fancy soda dispenser. The same woman calls me to the side, catching me by surprise.

>>31767960
Don't stop posting. It's great stuff.

>>31767960
We're going to read it, whatever you write is probably better than anything most of us could put out anyway.

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>>31767960
I feel the same way. If I just adjourn my story to an oily orgy pit with 15 raifus and only one of me, FAL will gorilla-slap my shit and leave me bleeding in the moon light.
But yeah, I'm still reading it. I don't expect these stories to take me anywhere. I'm here for comfy reads and feels.

>>31767960
don't you stop posting fluffy. just take your time and don't rush the story, take a break if need be.

>>31768085
how'd it go man?

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>>31768213
>>31767657

lets put it this way 10/22 might have an auntie

>>31768301
Ayy, new family member for /wfg/. So... is it the qt Amazonian Nurse who nurtured you?

>>31768208
your story is still solid and progressing in a manner that makes sense and is interesting to read. like i said to fluffy, dont rush anything, we aren't particularly picky.

>>31768301
congrats boss!

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>>31766171
>Angry Eru
This is very concerning.

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>>31768301
Hot damn! Just check her rifling before sending in the boresnake.

>>31768316
I agree. Fluffy just needs to take a step back if needed, figure out a direction, and go for it. That can take some time. Good news is, we're here forever.

I've got my plot points down. It's solid-ish, and leaves me open for a sequel if I decide to tackle it.
But, I'm going to slow the progression down a bit and focus on Judith character development and comfy moe stuff before trucking on.

>>31768132
What, you're not going to make her share the chicken wealth?

On reflection I'm surprised no one said anything about the puns in the Hi-Power story.

>>31768301
You did good.

>>31768301

ehhhh?! when i said you could d-do it that's not what I meant you baka! >/////<

>>31768313
>>31768316
>>31768463
>>31768616
thanks m8s

>>31768654
i said aunt not cousin... yet

>>31767960
keep writing senpai, this shit is fucking amazing, write how you want, anything else will just feel forced.

>>31768695
today i found out if you write f a m it turns it into senpai, god damn gook moot.

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>>31768684
Do it, bro.

>>31768684
Green light, go, Go, GO!

We believe in you!

>>31768794
>>31768713
when i get the cast out of my arm and stiches removed then i'll give 10/22 a lil cousin

>added last part war in the north
http://pastebin.com/MQQyKaf3

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>corrected link of kragfag storie

http://pastebin.com/UewkKShc

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>>31768816
aunt? cousin? what am i missing here?

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>>31769042
your pops it's encouraging me to put a ring on a lass that i dated today and give you both guys a lil' cousin to kick around.

>>31769042
I'm disappointed that it wasn't a double windsor.
Fucking casuals put no effort into it.

>>31769042

it takes me like 5 tries to do that every time I have to wear a tie.

>>31769279
>not an eldridge knot

>>31769317
Double Windsor is the everyman everyday knot. All other knots may exit at any time.

>>31769326
This. Half wondsor are for quitters

>>31769370
The fighting man wears a clip on or no tie at all.

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>>31769401
>tfw want to dress like Indiana Jones for exploring places but don't want to look like an autist

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>>31769279
>>31769317
>>31769326
>>31769370
>>31769401

>all this discussion about ties
>mfw i've never had to use a tie nor a suit in my blody life

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>>31769447
>only time I wear a suit is for a big party or a funeral
>3 funerals this year

>>31769447
If you're a burger just wait for a federal jury duty summons. Suit and tie are required or they fine you.

>>31769401
>Not clip on bow ties
m8...
>>31769442
One day, Polyfám, one day. I'll get you a suit and a Colt Pocket Carry when you become a US citizen

>>31769535
>One day, Polyfám, one day. I'll get you a suit and a Colt Pocket Carry when you become a US citizen
meant for>>31769447

>>31769042
>filename
i had a giggle m8

anyway
>CASEFILE 5 CONT'D

Dave broke out a large pot from the back of the Hummer and started a fire beneath it. He began pouring the contents of several foil packages into it, as well as a portion of a leftover jug of homemade vodka.

"What in God's name are you making, dude?" asked Chris, looking over.

"Operator chili. I'm using MREs."

"It smells like shit."

"Because I haven't even added in the hot sauce yet!"

Chris groaned loudly.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that. It's going to be good, I promise," he said, pouring an entire bottle of tabasco into the pot.

He was wrong.

After puking his guts out from having a bowl of the stuff, they instead resorted to MREs for dinner.

Alright guys, should I spend the rest of the night drinking or writing? The choice is yours.

>>31769678
Both!

Drink, write, play vidja, do it all!

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>>31769678
both

>>31769678
all the greats had substance abuse issues man.

>>31769678

Cocaine will help you do both.

>>31769678

one shot per paragraph.

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>>31769604
>tabasco
>mfw
Go habenero at minimum or get the fuck out

>>31769834
>habenero
Ghost peppers. Both food and weapon in one bowl.

>>31769860
>tfw I keep leaving my ghost peppers back at my folk's place
Shits real good too, if you can overcome the heat.

>>31769834
I just chose it because it tastes like shit

tapatio all the way motherfucker

>>31769917
You got me there, guy

>>31769709
Four shots down, playing the witcher 3 on max difficulty, and writing between deaths

WOOHOOOO

Holy FUCK it sucks being lonely
Here's to hoping I don't get too introspective this time around. Whatever. yOu'll have another update soon.

>>31769981
Shit. Forgot my name.
Shame I can't reveal my more well known moniker just yet.

>>31769981
>>31769999
I know that feeling. Also, feels good being able unlock that achievement before the fire stream nerf. However, holy fuck I actually broke my controller on that one boss before the final boss.

However, doing the dancing twirl move with +stun runes will fuck that go over like no one's business

>>31769981
Playing remember me and drinking. ain't lonely when you got k mate.

>>31770048
>tfw I am now 4/4 for being stood up.
At least my bros bailed me out of an awkward night of drinking alone

>>31769999

>nice quads, no homo
Guard, is that you?

>>31770079
Guard is married, if I remember right.

>>31769981
Don't do what I did. You'll end up having to take a roadtrip and waste a bunch of money just like I did.

PTR secured. Bike can wait.

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>>31770155
You won't regret it

>>31770155
better choice in my opinion.

>>31770056
your bros won't leave you, your guns won't leave you, the weights won't leave you and k won't leave you.

>>31770155
>>31770166

https://www.atlanticfirearms.com/component/virtuemart/shipping-accessories/ptr-nnr-308-receiver-detail.html?Itemid=0

Is it worth it?

>>31770216
Personally, I think that if you have enough knowledge and equipment to build a HK rifle, you have the ability to bend and weld a flat. Do that, and avoid FFL/4473.

>>31770166

there are always more baikus, a raifu is forever

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speaking of raifus, I've been looking at this in my shopping cart for over a week.

I'd still have to make a receiver on top of this.

talk me into it or talk me out of it.

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>>31770198
But I left my SKS away at home, because my currently living situation is not suited for her. At least I will be able to visit her come Christmas break and shoot her.

Sometimes I regret starting the writefag shit back in 2015, then I see these threads... It fills me with hope

http://pastebin.com/u/556x51NATO/1/?guest=1

>>31770297

You stand only to gain from this purchase.

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>>31770155
This thread just gets better and better! I'm happy for you!

the first thought that ran through my head as blood tricled out of my mouth was how did I fuck up so badly.
Its not like I came from a bad house I was raised by a blue collar family in Indiana, my dad was a machinist by trade and I picked it up getting certified at my local community college, and even getting a liberal arts degree because I was interested in world history and I felt that academic endeavors could help me grow as a person.
As I slowly came back to reality I realized there was a raged hole cut through the center of my plate carrier and my level 4 ceramic plate. My chest was making a noise similar to a dollar store whoopy cushion each time I inhaled and exhaled, each breath made it harder to breath and the agony grew worse. My hands fumbled around for my rifle. I made her back a few years ago, she was completely made by me I bought a barrel blank bored it out in .338 and put a heavy twist rate on her. She was destined to shoot no normal ammo but ammo of my design she pushed out a 80 grain tungsten saboted projectile in 80 grains that was 2 millimeters wide and around 45 millimeters long powered by a .338 lapu magnum cartridge. The round would speed out of the barrel at around 4200 feet persecond. The rifle its self was a short stroke semi automatic piston. Her barrel was stainless steel as well as most of the metal work where it was possible. It was harder to machine but gave me a 1000 year rifle, although I still gave it a coating so it was black with a nice wooden stock and pistol grip.. My thoughts drifted back to the events that led me here.
Shit I had fucked up something bad there were at least 20 people I possibly killed, it wasn't supposed to go like this, I was just supposed to work a job and retire happily, but then the market crashed in 2025 the company I worked for went under and all the money I had in the bank was no where to be found. In a state of irrational anger I figured I would repay the bank much the same, as a testament to that

>>31770320
didn't start collecting rifles til i moved out. when i go back i miss em. debate buying a scattergat but i'd feel bad for leavin er there.

>>31770297
do it loli.

>>31770297
Can't be that hard to get AK receiver.

As a testament to that the 400k dollars worth of gold bars scattered around the back of the car showed I had indeed robbed the bank. My mind rushed back to when it all went down. early in the morning I had thrown on all the gear I had acquired in the last few years because of my hobbies and just the fact that hell I could buy a level nij 4 ceramic plate get a sweet ass helmet made out of ultra high density polyethylene and put ceramic tiles on it bringing it up to nij level 4 as well as an nij level 3 face shield and jaw protection made out of ceramics and Kevlar. I probably looked like some air soft fag trying to be tacticool but the fact was that it was all just a hobby of collecting the latest in military gear. I never thought I would actually use it. I never thought things would end up this way. I didn't think that because of the massive stock crash that the banks would hire extra security that enforced a shoot on sight policy, hell I didn't think the official unemployment rate would hit 40 percent.. My mind snapped back to the moment it all went bad the very second I entered the bank doors. I remember the feeling of tension and excitement as I opened the door nervously despite the weapon held in my hand and the armor I wore I knew I held no true authority it would all come down to people following the given roles me as the aggressor and them as the helpless victims. But that's when the first guard popped up he shouted at me to drop my gun, while his was pointed at me, maybe it was a slip of his finger on his glock but a shot rang out whistling past my head and smashing into the concrete behind me.
I had never killed a man before, heck I hadn't even killed an animal before, I all that I had ever used my guns before to do was punch holes in paper targets at the range. but somewhere in my mind I made a semi conscious decision I lifted my rifle and responded by pulling the trigger, it felt like minuets even hours I swear I could see the round exit

>>31770385
>>31770403
>pulling numbers off of wikipedia
noguns detected

>>31770403
>ballistic face shield
>bank security shoot on sight
Bruh...

>>31770403
the barrel and move slowly through the air and hit the guard right in the dead center of his vest. I could see the expression on his face contort from fear to anguish as the round ripped through his vest and blew apart his internal organs liquefying them as the round traveled at hypersonic speeds, and then continued on and buried its self a few feet away into the vault door where it went straight in and hit the handle and punched a clean hole. Then he fell like a sack of potatoes that a person had let go of. The light went out in his eyes and he was gone. And not even 2 seconds had passed before his buddies showed up and started shooting. The people in the bank scattered behind what ever cover they could find. I hid behind a pillar to the right of the entrance their hand gun rounds bounced harmlessly off the marble and they hid behind a flipped over metal table. Sadly for them that metal table wouldn't stop my rounds they shredded through it and found their marks. I could hear a short cry followed by silence an alarm rang out somewhere in the bank. I payed no heed to the human suffering around me, I was only focused on one goal the money in the vault. Luckily the vault door was open and I could even see the perfectly clean hole that my round had punched in it. This rifle wasn't meant to take lives it was meant to punch holes in paper targets 1.5 miles away. Although that was a thought that never crossed my mind, as I ran quickly into the vault and smashed open the safe deposit boxes containing gold coins and bars which I greedily shoved into my shoulder bag. Wait what was that noise were those sirens. Shit how could the cops be here already I had only committed my acts of robbery 4 minuets ago how could they be that fast. Never once did it cross my mind the police were on alert due to the market turmoil and had pre positioned cops around financial institutions.
This left me in quite the issue, If I exited out front I would be greeted by 4 squad cars

>>31770435
each carrying 2 officers armed with AR-15 semi automatic rifles. Neither of which I was too keen on meeting. I brashly decided to exit the rear of the building carrying my ill gotten riches, which I immediately dropped by a sedan. My personal car was 4 cars down to the right but if I traversed that I would expose my self to fire from the officers. It seems they were still trying to secure the initial area. Things were going from bad to worse I saw a quick movement by one of the cars followed by a shout he is over there. I barley looked down the sights sick to my stomach as I pulled the trigger once more. I heard a tump followed by a fall and shouts of officer down as I hid behind the engine of the red sedan. I heard their rounds slam into the car and waited for a slight pause where I could return fire. I could see their feet sticking out from the bottom of the car, I aimed roughly in their general direction and fired till my magazine was dry. 15 shots and then I pulled it out and inserted a fresh one. I didn't hear I heard some shouting about wounded officers. along with a cry of "my arm its gone" a brief flash of emotional empathy ran through my head I wondered if the man played sports I know it was an odd thought but I would hate to deprive some one of something or some one they loved... I had to push that aside right now it was do or die. And I knew I didn't want to die.i quickly rolled out from the sedan to a car diagonally across so that I could get a better position on the remaining enemies. Wait did I say enemies no these were humans they were officers just working their jobs they had families and friends. They probably even listened to the same music I did. Although it was too late to try and smooth things over I had already killed so many people my only option left was to keep digging this hole I had dug deeper until it was deep enough to be my grave. " surrender now and you will be treated fairly by the us legal system". Right I thought to

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>>31770297

I'd personally just buy a NoDak receiver.

Building an 80% is absolutely miserable, and your first time will always end up being fucked.

It put me off of trying to do 80's for AK's so hard I scrapped the build and transferred everything over to a 100%.

Never looked back, and I've never been happier.

...unless you're one of the paranoid types.


Also, use Toth tools.

It'll save your sanity.


>
>
>
Also, I'm writing up some more spoopy, so prepare guys, I should be ready in about an hour!

>>31770385
>>31770403
>>31770435
>>31770454
this isn't even coherent

what is this even

>>31770454
to my self I had just killed 4 law enforcement officers and had maimed a 5th who might die of his wounds. I doubt I could survive in prison I also doubted my survival given my current fiscal state. My only option left much like the officers was to fight. I didn't even bother to reply as I Peaked out from the van I was using as cover I quicly made two snap shots both of which connected to the targets I aimed at. One of the officers must have had a ceramic insert becasuse I heard a loud crack upon impact , although that sound wasn't the worst as I heard another officer scream out in some guttural language that only a human in immense pain could utter, some type of primitive ancestral call that anyone who spoke any language would understand. I quickly ran back to where the engine was located so I would be shielded from the cops incoming rounds I heard the shots tear through the back of the van where I previously was as it rocked back and forth from the impact of the rounds.
( to the critic look I could have given the specific names of the company who made the corba balitic face mask and helmet what ops core I cant rember or I could have given the name of the suit which is sakheer defense company but fuck if ican be bothered with that shit.)

>>31770465

This is called "Kicked off of the /ak/ thread.

>>31770465
ex man is dying he is recalling how he got there. quite a common story plot... is it not

>>31770403
>>31770403
>>31770435
>>31770454
>>31770475

Some Guides and tips

http://pastebin.com/gsYuFqb0

>seriusly read it

half of the officers were down or dead that only left 4 more till I could get to my car. Some of them tried flanking my position while the others kept suppressing fire. I raised my gun over the hood and fired blindly emptying two 20 round magazines in their general direction. before quickly lowering it and shouldering it, I smelled gasoline I must have hit a fuel line in one of their cars or maybe even the tank regardless it was all I could smell.
The thought barley registered in my head as my stomach sank. The officers returned fire when I heard a whoosh. The two officers flanking me momentarily paused. It didn't dawn on them that by firing their weapons near the gas leak that they would ignite the vapors near them. They were too busy fighting for their lives, to stop a monster. A monster I had become. I was no longer the good funny guy who would take his shirt off his back to help a neighbor, I was no longer the loved child of a family I had permanently altered what I would be remembered for and that would be as a monster who killed 20 law enforcement agents, and destroyed so many families. I popped up from the front of the van again taking aim at the last two officers who were running back to help their blazing comrades. Iuttered a quick prayer to save my soul as I put one round in each of their lower left shoulder blades. My god how I regretted each moment and action. It was almost as If I was watching a horror movie, and I couldn't control my actions, they seemed out of my control but they were. I made this decision, and I had to follow through on it. The consequences and all were mine to reap. I was the only one who was to blame, My brash impulsivity had dammed me to my fate.

>>31770486
reads fine either that or I have gotten to used to reading walls of text at the university.. I mean its readable... and the story is coherent... at least I think it is ...

>>31770485
The way you're naming equipment and calibers and everything... it reeks of you not know what you're talking about. It's too stilted, like you're reading from wikipedia. And the action you're trying to convey is coming off as messy and uncoordinated.

All in all, the way you're saying things is like you're describing guns to an audience that knows utterly nothing about them.

>>31770501
I could hear the screams of the remaining officers as the fire spread engulfing them in flames it wouldn't be a quick death, I couldn't imagine the pain they were in for what ever reason I put down my gun and ran to the first squad car and grabed the fire extinguisher and tired to put out the flames on the officers, I saw the destruction I had wrought the bodies of their co workers lay strewn about like refuge from a spill. I saw one officer clutching his severed arm in between his thighs while his eyes lifelessly stared up at the sky. The worst was yet to greet me as I put out the fire I could see two humanoid forms appear from the blaze I could barely recognize the vests that once had the word Police brightly printed across the front of their chests. I could smell something sickly sweet it almost smelled like a pork barbeque. then I looked at their faces their was no skin left or muscle I couldn't even see their eyes all I heard was the moans they made as they rolled back and forth. No no this cant be happening, this cannot be happening. I thought to my self. dear god what should I do. The burns were extensive but if they got medical treatment they might survive. But even then I had terribly maimed 2 human beings dear god I could not be forgiven. I thought as I quickly dropped the fire extinguisher and rushed to the bag containing the gold and rand back to my car and started it

>>31770529
meh I come off as robotic and stilted chalk it up to autism and bad writing. Not everyone starts out as an ace writer..

>>31770559

True. But you need to listen to the criticism you are given in order to improve.

>>31770539
how many people had I killed the thought ran through my mind as I did a quick mental calculation, there were 3 guards in the bank and 8 officers two of which were still alive when I left . That means I killed 9 men in less then 10 minuets. All for what material wealth. The suffering I had caused could never be worth the monetary gain nor the images seared into my brain that I will never forget. They never talk about this in the action movies now do they I thought to my self. As I sped along the highway in my jep wrangler. Suddenly I saw a corridor of flashing lights ahead. "oh shit a road block" I quickly steered off the road and into a few bushes and quickly turned the truck around and speed back to an intersection where I headed in the opposite direction. I heard a few shots ring out some of them made contact with the truck one shattered the rear windshield.

>>31770559
That's true, but at least take a look at it as a draft first. I'm assuming that's what most of these writefags are doing.

And please, look at those guides polybus gave out.

>>31770573
oh I completely agree. Hell worse comes to worse use it as an example so others can learn from it. My main issue is probably that I am use to writing very precise technical essays that are dry. Trying to incorporate emotion and story is not something I have done a lot.

>>31770559
>>31770587

fair enough, but thats why we are telling you your weak spots and how to improve them m8

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>>31770559
You could help yourself just by pressing enter a few times.

Honestly I find myself reading the same line twice because of the formatting here.

Not only that but the criticisms are valid about the "Robotic-ness"...

I take it this is your first time writing up a story? If so you're doing good, but always strive to improve, don't just write yourself off as "Eh this is my style" if people are explaining problems.

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Hmmm... I think everyone has had time to catch up... maybe. If not, the sticky is up to date. Enjoy!

Light My Fire (PTR/HK) cont.

>Kashka starts, "Well there's three types of ARs usually. Modified; they're always good. Heavily modified, sometimes good, sometimes terrible. And basic. They're a wild card. Always watch out for them. They're masters are either new or just really good."
>Rose looks out into the crowd, "they all look the same to me."
>"at first glance, yes. All magpul clothing. But if you look closely, you see they come in different colors."
>there was a pause as Rose slowly turns her head back to Kashka
>She's nodding her head
>dead serious
>Rose's eye contact is making it very hard to maintain a straight face with her
>"pttb!" The AK can't take it anymore and starts to laugh
>laughter infects Rose and they both howl
>For a Red pet class, she is alright
>suddenly her scars no longer seem ugly for her to look at
>they are starting to become beautiful in a way
>and just like that, it is Jamie's turn to run through the course
>Kashka leaves with him, "good luck, Rose!"
>the little carbine smiled back, "you too! ...hun."
>then she buries these feelings into an infinitesimal black speck under her soul never to see the light of day again
>"Anon?"
>I kneel down to talk eye to eye with Rose
>her eyes show worry
>"what's wrong?"
>"These rifles are b-better than me..."
>"hey..." I hold her chin up
>"You're semi automatic and sling a super sonic bullet... There is literally no difference between you and them."
>Rose begins to tear up again, but a small grin curls against her will across her face, "god, you really are an idiot."
>"hush... Do you want to see what I see?"
>Rose doesn't answer
>"You're light weight. Look at them."
>the little girl looks out into the crowd
>"I see a bunch of heavy rifles. What matters here is weight, maneuverability, and capacity."

>>31769981
>>31769999
Bloody switch with me. Stuck in a wedding and so far spaghetti is everywhere

>>31770594
yeah I'm just going to finish up. I typed it on the flylitearlly in 10 minuets.

>>31770297
Go for it imouto

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I wrote this for /x/ many moons ago. Let's see if it's /k/ enough to hold muster.
Open your laptop. Hit Alt+Tab+F7 and suddenly there's a perfectly polished mirror where the screen should be. Unholster your pistol. Hold it in front of the mirror and repeat the words you memorized phonetically, with an Agency archeo-linguist coaching you every syllable of the way. Very throaty language, with lots of hisses and murmurs and tongue-pops in it; our alphabet doesn't really do it justice..... And push, do not shove, the gun through the mirror and into whatever lies beyond.

Then withdraw your hand.... gently... there you go... and find to your wild relief that it hasn't shriveled up or broken off. Holy shit. I got away with it. Again.

And at this point you couldn't give a damn less about my name (none of your business, thanks for asking), or what kind of gun I picked for the job (CZ-75 SP-01 Phantom, custom trigger job, tritium night sights, very nice). You're not even interested in the story. Oh no. You've got that little-kid-on-Halloween gleam in your eye. You've got so many delicious questions -- and the answer to all of them is no.

>>31770575
I had an idea pop into my mind and I impulsively acted on it I positioned my truck directly in front of the cop car and slammed on the brakes smashing my fender into the hood of the squad car my truck spun out ad rolled on its roof and then landed on its wheels I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and took out my rifle I dumped two magazines worth of ammo into the squad car. I saw the 4 officers slump down I could see the horrific image before me and ran back into my truck and hid from the carnage around me like a coward. and sped off. I no longer felt any anger about the money I lost nor the job I lost. I felt sadness and despair as I drove my battered truck down the road. I soon encountered another police blockade. I took my rifle and fired it through the front windshield and speed up my truck. The officers fired back. I felt something hit my chest but it didn't stop me I saw the speedometer pass 100 I heard something hit the front of the truck and the engine started making a banging noise but sir Isaac newton took care of the rest. I plowed into the SUV they were using to block the road it flipped over and crushed 2 officers who were running away from the collision. and my shots had connected with the other two. The steering wheel impacted my chest as the car crumpled up around me, the last thing I heard was the sound of breaking glass and screeching metal. .

>>31770619
MJ-12 treats weapons-grade sorcery as a sort of controlled substance. A memetic weapon. The vast majority of people out there, even if they get it right, succeed in nothing more than freaking themselves out. But a very few -- the ones that don't set themselves on fire -- get to the point where they can duplicate their results. And a few of those few aren't content with the traditional blessings of health, long life, and prosperity. Oh no. They start hurting people with it. Or they hurt people so they can do more of it, like the covens of Thule-Gesellschaft. Worse yet, they call attention to our anthill from things we don't even want looking at us.

So occasionally, the Agency decides to cull the herd. Which is where I come in. Hey. A contract's a contract's, and I gotta pay the bills somehow. MJ-12 is willing to pay good, if it prevents the Sahara Effect from popping up again. (All that crap about space aliens is just that. Disinformation. Sorry, UFOlogists. It's crap crap crap). I won't even go into what your average poltergeist is capable of. Come on. You really think an entity that can steal your car keys has any difficulty loosening the valves on your gas stove? or pinching one of the capillaries in your brain?

Oh all right. Tell you what, I'll throw you a bone. You want to know what percentage of home and medical emergencies in the United States are supernaturally occurring?

Anybody...?

Less than you fear, kids. But more than you think. Way more. I'm not allowed to quote figures, obviously, but it's in the mid-high single digits. That's in a magic-secular society. Ours.

Now. Imagine every angsty teenager in the country has access to a working spellbook -- a real one. Leave out the stuff that makes poltergeists look like cockroaches. Do I need to draw a picture here? The stove is hot. Don't touch.

>>31770621
that's how I came to be in this situation. I thought to my self as darkness slowly enveloped my vison. The pain I felt slowly faded to numbness as my blood pooled up bellow me on the car mat. I tried to move my legs but they were pined and most likely hamburger meat. As the darkness enveloped my vision I desperately tried to move only to find my limbs flailing around helpless ley like that of a new born child's. I couldn't move I could only gasp in horror as it became darker and colder and my vision faded altogether. I heard boots on the asphalt and heard some one say "Is he in there is he alive" followed by some one saying I don't think so. He isn't moving. That is the last thing I heard. or would ever hear. Since then its only been darkness. The only thing I have are the memories of what I have done. the horror of it all, The suffering I had caused. dear god why wont the images stop. I cant escape them they follow me through the void. Dear god why why wont they stop I am dead why cant they let me forget. Dear god I am sorry please please stop. I just scream out loud in one continues long sound. This is my hell of my own making I built the wall and locked the door. There is no way out. This is all that there is left for me.

>>31770605
i've never been anal about anyting writing related before, but jesus man, minutes. not minuets.

>>31770604
if there is liquor, what are you doing?

>>31770599
got you man

>>31770594
you capping this?

>>31770604

Get drunk. In my experience getting absolutely shitfaced at one wedding saves you from all future weddings.

>>31770628
Protip: the vast body of magical ritual is not designed to make anything happen. Nope. It's to prevent things from happening. It's to keep things away you don't want, and prevent collateral damage in case something goes wrong. It's the arcane equivalent of trigger discipline. Because with magic, even given all the precautions, you are never completely in control. Ever. Magic has a momentum and an agenda of its own and you have to be clean to handle it. Calm, pure, contemplative -- all that monkish crap.

Me? I'm not monk material. I drink and I swear and I don't hold the door open for little old ladies. Also, I did a lot of wet work for the cartels before somebody nailed me with an old-school hex and MJ-12 reeled me in with hopes of a cure. Protip #2: before accepting a contract on a Mexican drug lord, make sure the man's brother is not practicing the Old Faith on the top of his own private pyramid out in the middle of the jungle.

I've killed all sorts of people. Cops and lawyers and stoolies and nightclub owners. Men and women, rich and poor. Some I killed in front of their friends and-or family. Most were only a few yards away when I pulled the trigger, and at that range you see every nasty last-second emotion the human animal can conjure up. I don't know how many of them were actually guilty of anything and I still don't care, because if it hadn't been me it would have been someone else getting paid and the exact same people dying.

Wow, you say. Pretty cold. Yup. I am not a shiny happy person and the Judeo-Christian ethic does not figure greatly in the scheme of my being. So despite the fasting and the bathing and the bland assurances that it's perfectly safe, I get pretty fucking nervous whenever I do the thing with the mirror. Because this sort of thing is dangerous, extremely.

>>31770639
And whatever space the gun goes into -- that's cold too. At least with ice water you get a feeling of substance, something to swish your hand around in. With the mirror there's nothing. Your hand isn't cold when you pull it out again, either, so you're not losing any body heat. You just feel it somehow. Maybe Stephen Hawking could grok what's going on in there, but I sure as hell don't. All I know is every time I do it I feel like I got away with something, like a kid shoplifting a candy bar.

Cold. It's cold in there, wherever it is. And I hate coming into contact with it. Fuck magic. It's not as much fun as you think it is.

Now, guns? I like guns. A gun doesn't know whether you're a good Samaritan or a mass murderer. It doesn't care whether your fingernails are dirty or if you said your prayers. Pull the trigger and it goes bang. You are the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end of what that weapon does, and why. You provide the moral and the physical force for that firearm to do its thing. Total control.

Which brings us back to the story I know you're just dying to hear.

I pay the cabbie a fat tip and tell him when to pick me up. Then I trot up the shallow steps, where a couple of security guys wave a wand over my body. Heavy security for a nightclub. The owner is a cautious man. He's right to be. He knows he's on MJ-12's naughty list. But there's nothing on me except a Gerber multitool. Oh geez! I'm sorry guys, I didn't even remember I had that! I can get it back later, right....?

>>31770634
fuck auto correct god damn windows 10 strikes again with its predictive corrective software...Any ways this is the second time I'm posting a story my first was vastly different from this and was the shire rifle society...

>>31770634
yeah why not.

>>31770619
yo m8 had a 'bin of this or should i do it?

>>31770648
Then it's in past the heavy double doors, past all the stone carvings of men and gods and animals killing and screwing each other, and into the exhibit area. Half the one gigantic room is taken up by little cocktail tables surrounded by high-backed chairs. The rest is taken up by a cluster of stone pedestals. More carvings of lizard people and monster-warriors... but the real draw is what each one is displaying on top. That's why everybody's here tonight. All the trappings of Mesoamerican ritual magic are on display tonight, from the owner's private collection. How nice of him to share.

The attention-getter is this bigass chunk of stone in the middle of the room, rising out of the floor. I shoulder my way through the crowd. Looks like it's draped in some kind of ornamental tablecloth -- no, scratch that. It's a ceremonial cloak. The little sign informs the onlooker that Aztec priests used to wear ones just like it, made out of human skin.

"Ewwww!" goes a blond chick in front of me. Bleached hair, fake tits sticking through a clingy dress, square fake nails. "What's this one made out of?"

The owner favors her with a toothy smile. "Skin of monkey, senorita."

"Oh my God monkey skin! Can I touch it?"

Blond Chick receives a nod and a gracious gesture, so she extends a forefinger, traces one of the designs, giggles. All around me people are doing the same thing. The cup used to hold the blood. The stone knives. All real, all recovered from actual sites in Central America. Things dipped in the blood of thousands of terrified human beings. People bend over them and touch them and chuckle breathlessly, wide-eyed like little kids. Fascinated by death. Turned on by the pornography of power, as they are intended to be.

>>31770652
this story was more or less something that just popped into my head while I was driving back and I just dumped it on the first appropriate board...
shit I probably shouldn't have done that in retrospect.

>>31770654
Knock yourself out.

>>31770660
And that 'monkey skin'? Came off a highly intelligent upright primate that walked across the Sonora desert in bare feet last year, fighting against fear and thirst and La Migra to get a job washing dishes in Los Angeles. I admit I feel a pang looking at it. What a helluva way to end up.

Apparently it shows. "You don't like, senor?" The owner leans into me, brows raised in a thick bushy question mark.

I wrinkle my nose. "My brother's a plastic surgeon. Hanging around him, I hear more than enough stories about... you know. Body parts." I wave my hands like I'm flustered, resisting the urge to put them around his throat.

And I smile at him. I've got a terrific smile. Always taken great care of my teeth and I enjoy showing 'em off. Be brisk, be friendly, and turn on that boyish charm like a lantern in the dark. It works, too. He nods and instantly switches his attention to the next customer. He's got a good smile, too.

I wander back over to the bar. The bartender's short, Hispanic, heart-shaped face with a big smile. Helluva a rack on her. "Sorry sir," she calls, and points at a sign. "Bar is closing." They stop serving drinks half an hour before the exhibit ends, apparently. Don't want any barflies hanging around. Well, that's good. She won't be here come closing time.

"Can I get a refill on this first?" I raise the glass and jangle the ice around in it.

>>31770676
She obliges with a laugh, so I wander around and pretend to be interested in the less-grotesque exhibits and nurse my soda water and ignore my growling stomach. Kill time until it's right before closing and people are filing out. Excuse myself and go into the men's room. Wash my hands and treat myself to my own smile in the mirror.

Okay. This is why you earn the big bucks. Showtime.

Right now. Here we go.

Hooboy --

I'm there for a lot longer than I intended, whistling tunelessly between my teeth and trying to get my nerve up, when a big security guy comes in. Now, some big people are gentle. They move as though acutely aware that they could accidentally hurt something and they never raise their voice. This guy wasn't like that. "Hey mother fucker, time to go. You back here shoving snow up your nose, I kick your -- "

I turn around and whack him in the windpipe, then grab his head and twist. Snap. On the floor. Push your heel into his windpipe and keep it there until he quits moving and you smell urine from a relaxing bladder. That gives me a solid golden minute of peace and quiet until they start wondering where he is. One minute, and that's all. No more stalling.

Face the mirror. Wash your hands again real quick and calm your thundering heart. The incantation again. Last two syllables are different, very harsh on the tongue. Push your fingers against the slick surface -- a split second of oh-crap-it-isn't-working, then your hand goes right into the cool glass and the deeper chill behind it. Extend your hand and twist your palm at a certain angle, and... yes. There it is. Pull the CZ out and it's still room temp. Thank God or Whoever it worked again. As always.

>>31770692
And now things start clicking into place. Check the chamber. Yup. Eighteen in the mag and one in the pipe. Stick the plugs in your ear. Start walking in smooth powerful strides on the balls of your feet. Bash the bathroom door open with your shoulder and keep going. No more magic. From here on out it's just you, doing the one thing you do best.

There's another security man walking towards the bathroom door as I come out. Right on top of me and completely flatfooted. His eyebrows go up and his mouth contorts in a yell, and his hands come up -- not to snatch his own weapon, but in surrender. All this in half a second, and then I put the muzzle over his heart and pop him. He's still groping in the air as he falls, still trying to find a way to beg me not to do what I just did.

The pretty little bartender is more on the ball. She screeches in fury and pops out from behind the bar with a knife in her hand, the long thin kind they use to cut fruit for drinks. Her lips are skinned back far enough to show pink gums. Total animal fury. Automatically I crouch, and give her the Mozambique drill -- two to center of mass, one to the head. That's how you stop an adrenaline-crazed human being at in-your-face range. folks.

Jesus. Was she a college kid working a part time job? or something else? Why was she in here after closing? Why did she hide, instead of running? Did she think she'd stop an armed robbery all by herself? Did she know it wasn't an armed robbery? Why charge a gunman with a knife? Questions, questions. Compartmentalize them, save them for later. Or better yet, for never.

>>31770652
>>31770671
was gonna say this reads differently than shire rifle society, but then i remembered addin spaces. ain't no big deal man. we don't discriminate here.

>>31770634
Yes, lots of it
>>31770636
Problem is, I can barely get drunk. Alcohol resistance is a bitch. I mean, I can writefag the events if yall want

>>31770702
Right on cue the guys outside the door come bursting in. One's still holding the metal detector for some goddam reason while he fumbles around under his jacket with his other hand. My finger tightens of its own accord and his head jerks like he has a nervous twitch. No big dramatic explosion of blood and brains. He just collapses. The other guy has that little briefcase. It falls open, and in the time it takes to put my sights on him his hands come up with an ugly little submachine gun. I hit the ground, brace myself in my best Tactical Breakdancing stance, and put one through his stomach. Low shot. Ouchie. He howls and falls, and I put one, two more through that shrieking red hole of a mouth. He never even gets a shot off.

Not pros, then. Thank God. Cult members are generally selected for reliability, not expertise. For their total willingness to do what they just did -- die for the cause. General Patton would approve and so do I.

Up again. Keep pivoting to the left. Take in the whole room. Everything's quiet. Nobody left except the owner, sitting very still at his private table in the corner. And bless my soul, Blond Chick is sitting next to him, head lolling. Doped up and drunk for what was to follow. That's fine. Makes my job easier too.

"Stand up, please." I motion at the owner, with the gun. He smiles softly and starts talking some kinda smooth movie-villain bullshit about how I don't know what I'm messing with or -- I dunno, something like that. Several seconds into his spiel I get tired of waiting and pop him once in each knee. His face goes into a chimpanzee-rictus of pain, but he doesn't make a peep.

I yank the blond up and out from her seat and slap her a couple times. No, not rough. With my fingers. Like you spank a baby. She's hyperventilating and trying to hide her face, but I grab a handful of that fake blond hair and force her to look at me while I fish an anesthetic patch out of my pocket and rip open the little foil packet.

>>31770654
if your binning phils, ill take care of the other one.

>>31770692
bahahahahaha even gramps is writing fanfiction now? Degeneracy truly knows no bounds

>>31770724
sure just send me the link

>>31770717

>Problem is, I can barely get drunk. Alcohol resistance is a bitch.

Then drink more. This is simple math.

>>31770723
"Hey. Listen. I have something very important to tell you, okay?" I clear my throat. "The planet Venus is often mistaken for objects of manmade or extraterrestrial origin. Atmospheric flutter can make it seem to move around a lot. Especially in the desert. Okay? You got that? Good. Say it."

She nods frantically and mumbles. Vee-nus. Good enough. I slap the patch on her neck and watch her drift off to lah-lah land. Then I sling her over my shoulder and put her over by the double doors, well out of harm's way.

It's part of the canned spiel. The more formulaic nonsense you recite when you show up, the dumber witnesses sound when they try to describe what happened. And even people that believe them will look in the wrong direction. They'll be scanning the skies with binoculars looking for little green men and occasionally getting the shit kicked out of them by Air Force security. Not down at the earth beneath their feet. Not inwards at themselves. Not back at the past, and all it holds.

Up. Out. Towards the future. Which is just fine. It's where we belong, if you want to get a little preachy about it.

I drag the owner over to the big rectangle of granite. The one with the monkey-skin-that-ain't cloak on it. After a certain obligatory amount of violence I get him to lay down on it, shove a bunch of holy wafers in his mouth, and cut his throat with the bartender's knife. All the way around, down to the bone.

>>31770727
It was creepypasta for /x/, back in the day when it was the best place on the Internet for that sort of thing.

>>31770737
Try detoxing for a couple days. Take lots of B vitamins.

>>31770743
No blood. Just wet red flesh. He rolls his dead eyes and laughs at me through the hole in his neck. I go back to the corpse next to the doorway, retrieve my multitool, flip open the bone saw, and cut through the vertebrae. Still no blood, but the ragged laughter stops. I leave the head on the altar with the bloody wad of wafers still in its mouth and reach behind the bar, snag a few bottles of high-proof liquor. Bust the tops off. Hose the remains down. Toss a match -- foomp.

Finally, now, with the soul beginning to loosen its grip, the corpse starts to bleed. It's the last blood that altar will ever soak up... and now, with the consecrating priest dead on top of it, it's broken. Well, unless you feel like bulldozing the club and excavating the site to the depth of a hundred fifty feet. Just uncover the whole structure and lay a new cornerstone, with another bunch of sacrifices beneath it. Again. Yeah. Even with all the drug money in the world -- and all the illegals you think nobody'll miss -- that's kind of an expensive proposition. Not to mention risky.

Go build a new pyramid with a nightclub on top, you assholes. Warrantee's expired on this one.

I carefully clean myself off with a couple baby wipes, throw them into the fire, and hightail it out of there before the sprinkler system can go off. I don't bother to police my spent brass. I use a different gun for every job. Ballistics testing? Ho ho. Go right ahead.

The cab driver was drowsing at the wheel, but he detected my presence out of the corner of his eye and yawn-stretched his way into full wakefulness. Then his eyes get all huge and he starts fumbling around and drops his keys on the floor, jabbering and whining to himself... and I hear the latch on those huge wooden doors go clack as they close softly behind whatever just came out behind me.

>>31770717
drink. cause an event. you related to the person getting married?

>>31770736
you got it boss.

>>31770743
any name you want or how do you want me to put it on the sticky/'bin tile

>"Sorry to be rude, but why does your girlfriend have cat ears?

>Shitshitshitshitshit

>"Oh that? It's just a headband. Don't tell her I told you, but she's big into those chinese cartoons and sometimes she just likes to wear it around."

>"Oh, alright. Everybody has their thing I guess. I'll let ya'll know when your food is ready."

>I walk back over to the table she picked out for us. Just a small two seater in the back corner of the restaurant, completely isolated from the view of others

>She sits there holding a cup of ice against the right side of her forehead

>She looks up at me with a sort of half-grin

>"What's with the i-"

>She cuts me off. "Still hurts".

>"I'm really sorry. Want me to take a look at it?"

>"Nah, I'm fine. Just trying to make you feel bad. I got the ice just to nibble on."

>"Gee, thanks. You made me feel terrible."

>"You're buying me food so all is forgiven. Plus I'm already in your debt for bringing me back after all these years. I'll make it up to you." She says smugly.

>"ORDER 227!"

>"That's us".

>I get up and head to the front, grabbing the food. I snatch a fistful of napkins on the way back.

>She looks at me wide eyed as I bring the plates back. "Holy shit that's a lot of food."

>"Yeah, that's what $30 gets you here.

>"Anon I think I love you." She says. If it wasn't for the fact that I just bought her a massive amount of food I'd have almost taken her seriously.

Just lost like 30 minutes worth of typing.
Fucking kill me.

>>31770754
The original name of this opus is 'Cold.'

>>31770751
Being the nervy professional I am, I went for my gun upon the instant and pivoted around, ready to deal all kinds of death.

And started laughing my ass off.

I couldn't help it. The headless corpse of the high priest -- still sozzled with expensive booze, still on fire -- was wandering down the steps with its arms groping around like an old-time movie monster. It was hilarious.

You know how chickens run around with their heads cut off? That's called a rudimentary nervous action, and every now and then a body near a strong magical discharge will do the same thing. Sometimes for days, as long as there's blood and oxygen and calories to burn. And yes, this phenomenon is what is popularly termed a 'zombie'. They're weak and they're non-aggressive and they don't eat BRAAAINS. You just don't want them to bleed on you, is all. Disease vectors, etc. Whatever killed them could start working on you. But other than that? absent any intelligent direction? They're harmless.

Obviously this one was gonna bleed out pretty quick. But I didn't want it lurching around the outskirts of Las Vegas for those few minutes. On fire, yet. That was just wrong. Funny as fuck, but wrong.

I took all the time in the world with the CZ and gave the not-quite-corpse two shots to the heart. Then a third right above it to blow out the aorta, and another double-tap on the other side to hole the liver. Finally, after that last shot, the smoldering shambling pile of meat collapsed on the sidewalk. It spasmed a bit and made an unhappy noise. Just leaky lungs and nerves doing what comes naturally, magic or not. I shot it again anyway. Made me feel better.

>>31770765
I found myself glad it wasn't the bartender. I didn't like shooting her the first time, either. Would have sucked to do it again. And suddenly the humor is gone. Back to business. Meaning the hell out of here.

By this time the cabbie'd found his keys and was bent over the wheel like a man possessed, getting ready to hightail it out of there. I short-circuited his flight impulse by rapping on the window with the barrel -- the universal way of saying STAY WHERE YOU ARE, ASSHOLE -- and slid into the back seat. "Okay, guy. McCarran International. Terminal one. Let's go."

I used the smile on him. Like I said, that's my crisis management tool. Gotten me out of more awkward situations than I can remember. But he doesn't react well to the grinning murderer in his rear-view mirror. Maybe the Attack of Flaming Headless Guy ranks a little too high on the awkward scale. "Oh my God." he gasps. "Don't kill me. Oh Jesus what was that? Oh God, my God you killed him." Blah blah blah. The usual terrified babble.

"No I didn't." I held up the CZ again. Still smiling. "The bullets killed him. All I did was pull the trigger. Alpha and Omega, that's me."

He's kind of -- not cowering, at this point, but shying away from me. Like a dog that's expecting to get kicked. "Look, man don't shoot me please, please I gotta wife. I got me three kids -- "

"Oh come off it." I peeled off a handful of nice crisp twenties, rolled them up to cigarette-size, and shoved them through a hole in the scarred plastic screen. "Look. That's for the ride. Once we get to the airport I'll give you a nice fat tip and you can spill your guts to the tabloids or the barkeep or, you know, whoever. Trust me. I've been through this gig plenty of times. Nobody will believe you, and we are therefore perfectly safe. I'm okay, you're okay. Hit it."

>>31770753
>you related to the person getting married?
Yes. I mean, I had gotten a nice elbow to the nose when spinning a dance partner. After that the spaghetti spilling began.

>>31770775
The money kinda-sorta calmed him down and he drove smooth and fast through all the late-night traffic, and by the time we pulled up to the terminal he seemed to have full possession of himself. "You going to shoot me now?" he asks as I get out. His jaw's clenched. Takes balls to ask me straight out like that, and I like him for it.

"Already told ya." I slapped my hand on the roof of the cab in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture, and saw him jump. "Go ahead and sell your flaming-zombie story to the National Enquirer. Nobody's gonna believe your crazy ass. Here's another... sixty, eighty... hell with it." I tossed him the roll of money. "Take the night off."

Then I went straight to the airport bar and had such a jolly old time I barely managed to make my flight back to New Mexico. Because, hey. The job was over. That meant the holy-roller fasting thing was over, too. And you would be amazed how stoned you can get with just one vodka martini on an empty stomach. Or two or three. And then a beer, and then another.... and God those jalapeno poppers taste good when you're wasted, but they make you thirsty, and the only cure is more beer....

The Homeland Security guys weren't super happy to see the silly-drunk guy with the gun, but I flashed them my ID and staggered on out to my ride. I was asleep before the wheels left the tarmac.

>>31770786
When I woke up back at Area 51, first thing I did was brush my teeth to get the little-bit-hungover fuzz off my tongue. Went to the gym and worked on a cramped muscle that was bothering me. Showered and shaved. Then I strolled over to the cafeteria.

You know all those unmarked aircraft that fly in and out of here? You know what they're carrying? aside from me, occasionally? Not spare parts for flying saucers. Nossir. Consumables. Toilet paper, bottled water, like that. And food. Oh yes. Mountains of world-class food, much as you want at any hour.

Filet mignon. Pastrami Reubens on fresh-baked pumpernickel bread. Piles of Gulf shrimp -- fresh, not frozen -- with catfish and hushpuppies. Black Forest cake and boysenberry pie. No alcohol and no opportunities to get laid in this place, so I go to the cafeteria with a good book and basically live there for a day and a half, catching cat naps in the lounge. Feeding my face after a job is as close to a holiday as I get.

After pigging out, I go downstairs -- I mean the next downstairs, there are four levels here that I know of and probably more -- strip naked, and the people there help me get into the insulated bodysuit. Put on my headphones, heat blanket, all the things that keep me from going batshit from sensory deprivation. Stick an IV drip in my arm so I don't starve.

Then they draw the black silk curtain aside from the big mirror. Takes up the entire wall. They're doing everything for me, so oddly enough there's no sense of impending doom. Even though we'll both suffer if they screw up. It's easy. Like taking a shower.

>>31770759
>chinese cartoons
reeeee
>>31770765
Reads like a 30s detective novel. Good job Phil.

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>>31770599
Light My Fire (PTR/HK) cont.

>"I see a bunch of heavy rifles. What matters here is weight, maneuverability, and capacity."
>loosely hold her thin arms, "you're almost half their weight and same overall length. They got you on mag capacity, but we'll make reloads count. 'K?"
>She swallows hard and lifts her head
>"we're not looking for a podium finish here. We're here to make a statement."
>"uh huh."
>"Do you know what that statement is?"
>"We build. We fight?"
>swing and a miss, but whatever.
>I'm hoping for a "we're just as good" or something like that to be recognized by anyone with class 3 connections
>"Exactly." I say to Rose.
>before we even know what to do with ourselves, we're up
>standing at the start
>I grip my shotgun with a firm, authoritative hand
>"Shooter ready!"
>"Stand by..."
>the clock buzzes and I'm away
>I run to the box 50 yards away taking full length strides
>cheap hearing protection allows me to hear my heart pounding in my ears
>put two on each of the three white targets
>double back and hit the black targets twice
>I hit the breaks just outside of the zone of engagement
>throw up the 870
>rest the stock in my shoulder
>each blast sounds like a thunder clap
>at 15 yards away, the cardboard perforates like swiss cheese
>BOOM!
>Click-clack!
>BOOM!
>Both eyes open, I trust the shotgun as I rack the action
>the loud Remington action reminds me why I chose it in the first place
>it's metallic crunch sounds more intimidating than any other pump action on the market
>Transition over the black target
>re-engage the adjacent white target
>BOOM!
>click-clack!
>BOOM!
>like a runner stealing a base, I shift to the next box
>rack in the next shell
>engage the first target again
>lay down two more blasts
>time's running
>lay the stock over my thigh
>my hand dives into a pouch on my belt
>start pulling out Winchester shells two at a time
>into the tube they go
>my heart's racing
>seconds tick by in my head
>4... 5...

>>31770777

CAUSE. A. MOTHER. FUCKING. SCENE.

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>>31770803
LOL thanks. I wrote most of this in one sitting after seeing Collateral for the first time. The Man in Black is basically an alternate universe version of Vincent.

>>31770797
I carry a curse, I think I told you. More like a giant tangled bundle of them. My friend in the club was an enthusiast. Maybe that's why they offered the contract to me. Thought I'd show more zeal in taking him out or something. Nah. Revenge is only gratifying while you're thinking about it. And all I ever think about is the next job. Well, okay. Screwing a good-looking redhead kind of ranks up there too.

Anyway. The curse. Too-long didn't-read, it's bad news. Let the moon rise three times in the night sky without the correct series of counterspells (if there are any) and your hair falls out. Your teeth, too. Your knuckles swell up from arthritis like Ping Pong balls. You vomit maggots and shit blood. Thorny brambles sprout out your nose and ears and the tip of your cock. Whenever you lie down you feel ice-cold, and when you get up you feel like you're on fire. Within two weeks important parts of you start shutting down and you die, but your mind goes around the bend long, long before that. They lost three agents like this before they found a way to stop it....

...or at least hold the bastard at arm's length. There's no cure for what ails me, not yet... but turns out if you take yourself out of the world, the curse sort of reboots itself every time you come back in. Giving me another three days to do what I do best, every time, and plenty of rest in between.

>>31770604

why would you be stuck at a wedding? you can leave any time you like... especially if you set things on fire first~

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>>31770823
So here I am, the one place where I'm safe, while the R&D guys work on a cure, or an exorcism, or whatever. I prefer to think of it as paid vacation. Yeah, they're paying me a retainer. Like I said, I'm a contractor and I foot all my own bills. Buy my own suits, pay for my food in the cafeteria. Even ammo. Wade through mountains of paperwork and fight for every goddam nickel, and no bennies except they keep me alive as long as I work for them.

Such is the life of a Man In Black. Selah.

God damn it's cold in here.

>>31770807

>I hit the breaks

Should be brakes.

>>31770777
get caught fisting someone. do it faggot.

>>31770632
what title you want on this.

>>31770838
meh what ever you think fits I don't have an name for it. It was just a story that popped into my head.. damn after writing it I feel bad man..

>>31770820
Yeh, started bleeding from the nose, Merengué and Salsa can sometimes be deadly when youmre the only sober person in a dance floor full of tipsy drunks.
>>31770831
I can't do that to my boss, imouto chan

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>>31770807
I think that's all for tonight. This whole scene is going to be tough so bare with me and be patient please!

>>31770838
guns don't kill people do. that's the title. because that's the point of reinforcing each action the guy made. he made all those active choices and saw and reaped the consequences

>>31770836
ill fix it man.

>>31770851
get. drunk. start double fisting.

>>31770845
>>31770855
works for me. bad?

>>31770831
>setting things on fire
BAD IMOUTO I'm telling your onee-chan

>>31770853
I'm already hype.

>>31770861
yeah I feel bad. Its just such a dark story I think I cut myself on the edge..

>>31770845

We've all written stinkers. Just keep trying to do better.

>>31770863
>>31770861
>>31770851

My captcha is House Fire. Take that for what you will.

>>31770867
kek. take a shot and relax mate. It's a Saturday night (depending on where you are), the world ain't ending, and liquor is available.

>>31770873
>House Fire
I mean, unless you want me to burn down the sober customers in the non reserved area of the restaurant, there's enough spirits to be flammable

>>31770879
I already drank all my alcohol two 750 ml of port wine and lemon liqor a few days ago..

>>31770888

I don't want anything. But I agree with what Archivefag said here>>31770879

People aren't going to give a shit unless YOU make it a big deal. Laugh it off and get back out there. Weddings are for good feels bro.

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>>31770861
Thanks.

Also, I too support the idea of double fisting.

>>31770866
I will do my best! Writing and shooting. I'm not perfect so...

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>>31770922

Any mistake you make now can be corrected in Pastebin.

>>31770845
m8 keep the writing up, you now your weak spot, improve that and write more 'till your good

>>31770851

you can always get another boss~

>>31770863

go ahead, if you dare

>>31770961
oh I will keep writing I just realized how damn depressing my story was..

>>31770973
Hey, I posted an advice thing for you above with your AK questionnnnn.

Dunno if you saw it with the mass of posts.

>>31770973
oi, don't give bad ideas and be a bad loli or i'll bonk your head

>>31770973
you yandare mother fucker.. damn

>>31770973
>you can always get another boss~
That's not how it works for Oniichan.
>go ahead, if you dare
I'm telling oneechan on Steam just now
>>31770916
I just wanna go home and posts the character designs from the writefag stories. At least the wedding ended, but honestly, it was a pretty bad experience despite the minor leakage of spaghetti. Not shit tho, but I'm a bit pissy

>>31771021

Talk to me Goose.

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>Try to flesh out a character with some backstory
>Realize it feels tacked on and too long
>Slim it down. Now it feels like it's not enough
>Scrap the idea altogether
>Now there's a massive hole where my writing was.
>Try to fill it with some backstory
>mfw the ride never ends.

>>31771031
Well, besides getting hit on the nose and bleeding a tad profusely from the nose, the food went bad on me and I had to go outside to puke. I then lost my appetite and ate the cake (It was later all gone by the end, silly me forgot to reserve a piece). Most of the dances were Dominican Bachata shit, and I don't know how to dance to that without ending up knocking someone down. I pretty much lost the mood to be there after all of that. Then some argumentative infighting occur more so towards the end, and I nearly took a blow to the face. Overall, it was slightly enjoyable, I was simply there for my cousin to give him support

>>31771068
welcome to writing. you can scream but you have no mouth.

>>31770759

>She immediately picks up a chicken finger and bites down on it.

>"Oh wow, this is really good!"

>"Hell yeah it is. It's my favorite place to go for all things chicken." She doesn't seem to notice my comment as she sucks down fistfuls of fries like some sort of food vacuum.

>"After you finish eating I've got a little secret for you too."

>"Really? Tell me! Please?"

>"Nope. Gotta eat your food first."

>"Aww, don't be mean. Pretty please~"

>"Nope. We need to enjoy the mean before I tell you. Besides, I have a question to ask you first."

>"What is it?"

>"I've noticed you have a few scars so I'm curious as to where all you've been in the past. Were you a battlefield rifle?"

>"Oh." She replies with a bit of sorrow in her voice. Judging by this, it's safe to say that she'd definitely seen some things in her time.

>"It's a bit of a sore spot but since you're my owner you deserve to know. I was used by a serbian soldier in Sarajevo. He never saw me in this form until he was shot and lay dying. I comforted him as he took his last breaths. I was then picked up, my reciever agonizingly demilled, and sent in parts to a warehouse in the states. After many years, you ordered me and gave me a new reciever. You saved me."

>"I'm sorry to hear that. I never knew."

>"I know you didn't. I can't be mad."

>"If you ever need to talk just let me know. I'll be here for you, okay?"

>"Thank you anon. You're a good person."

>The next few minutes are spent in near silence as she forks down the food like someone who hasn't eaten in nearly two decades.

>Perhaps there's a reason for that.

>As she finishes she excitedly pipes up. "So what's the secret you've been hiding from me?"

>>31769604

Chris made him wash his mouth out with vodka, but let him sit next to her afterwards.

"Nice going, master chef."

"Shut up."

"Don't be a salty faggot. We both already knew that you sucked at cooking."

"Hey, at least I try!"

She smirked and elbowed him in the ribs. "Down, boy."

He rolled his eyes, still grumbling. "Alright, what are we doing for sleeping arrangements?"

"Well, let's think critically for a moment, right?" Chris put her MRE off to the side and folded her hands in her lap.

"Okay."

"We're dealing with a skinwalker, a mythical creature, famed for its ability to confuse and separate groups of people, then masquerade as them in order to pick them off one by one while they're alone and defenseless, taking advantage of the trust those in the group are likely to have in each other."

"Uh-huh..."

"So the obvious solution would be to stick together at all times, ESPECIALLY while sleeping."

"I... see?"

She smirked at him slyly and chuckled. "Come on, let's set up the tent."

Dave never pitched a tent so fast in his life.

>>31771068
>Not knowing backstories can go both ways
>Not implementing backstories periodically like flashbacks or PTSD splurges
>Not being creative showing our backstories
m8...
>>31770973
You just got lucky, my sweet imouto, Oneechan's offline and asleep.

>>31771072
Also:
>Music gets cranked higher and higher
>Table is close to the speakers
>Ears statt feeling funny snd uncomfy
>Go outside to take a breather
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>31771072

That really sucks, I've been to weddings like that myself and they're never easy. Just get some good sleep and you'll feel better in the morning.

>>31770973
I will so put you over my knee young lady!
http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=576609

>>31771079

>"Well, before you came alive, I ordered a drum, some 40 rounders, and an entire 1000 round box of military grade ammunition. Non-corrosive too. I'm planning on taking you shooting as soon as they come in."

>She looks me in the eyes and smiles.

>"Anon, I have a secret for you too. Come closer so I may whisper it to you."

>I stand up and go to her, leaning down to eye level and turning my left ear to her.

>She places her hand on the right side of my chin and turns my head to face hers.

>She closes her eyes and leans in to me, planting her lips on mine, kissing me deeply.

>After a few seconds she pulls away, blushing slightly and gently resting her hand on my right cheek

>"I have never had somebody treat me as well as you have. I will never forget you doing this for me. Thank you so much anon."

>"Don't mention it. You're my rifle, and that means I'm going to take care of you no matter what." I say with a slight grin.

>"What do you say we head back home?"

>"Let's." She says, sporting the biggest, most genuine smile I've seen in ages.

>She gets up, taking my hand and leading me out. We both walk out to my car and I open the door for her before getting in myself.

>I turn the key, and we slowly begin our late night trek home.

Last bit for tonisht. These drinks are kicking my ass

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Time to play runescape and write shitty stories until 4am.

>>31771140
Any thoughts so far?

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>>31771139
HEY!! THAT'S MY IMOUTO, YOU'RE PLANNING TO SPANK, THAT'S MY JOB AS ONIICHAN! GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU PEDO!!

>>31770985
going through, editing and readin it, i actually enjoy the dark nature. it is a bit fucked, but the things emotions and such are realistic.

>>31771072
sounds like somebody needs to go home, pour some liquor, and get some shit written.

>>31771162
pretty adorable so far mate.

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>>31770385
>>31770403
>>31770435
>>31770454
>>31770475
>wall of text format

>>31771180
>get some shit written
More like drawing. So many good descriptions of characters, I might as well draw em and make a visual example

>>31771174
Mind the attitude or no tendies.


Also how short is too short for a subcompact?

>>31771162
i'm enjoying it m8 also

>it's cute

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>>31771089
Ha! Ha! Double entendres.

>>31770973
>>31771139
>>31771174
Y'all behave.

>>31771195
I fixed it homie. chill. http://pastebin.com/PzmqEPJA

>>31771007
title is the same as the bin boss.
Guns dont Kill people
http://pastebin.com/PzmqEPJA

>>31771180
>, i actually enjoy the dark nature. it is a bit fucked, but the things emotions and such are realistic.
Yeah that's what I was going for, its dark and hopeless.

>>31771225
Yes ma'am.

>>31771212
>Implying I eat tendies
Cordon Bleu bites or bust.
>how short is too short for a subcompact?
1" barrels. 3" is he usual size for subcompact IIRC, but I don't find 2" barrels asthetic

>>31771211
draw away then man.

>>31771212
you mean human height or literal carrying pistol? as waffegeist, id say 4'6?

>>31771244
you do a good job man, just don't dwell on this shit. its writing brother, and while emotion should influence you, just sit back and be happy with your creation.

also i hope the editing didnt bastardize it.

>>31771212

If the round isn't poking its nose out the end it's fine.

>>31771276
yeah I re read it and am happy with the end result I realized where I made a few errors. I hope it doesn't get me put on a short list if you know what I mean..

>>31771242
>boss

M8 please don't call me boss, we're equal here just call me m8

>also added

>>31771286
I have literally no idea what you mean by short list but i'd say you arent on one.

>>31771306
whatever you say m8.

>>31771252
It's FAL's job to discipline the kids anyway.

>>31771262
The over all is length is 5.5" the height is 3.9" and width is 1.06". I'd say that translates to a slim four foot nothing pocket foal loli. Okay this solves a few problems.

ETA for Mustang a Cute Tuesday

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>>31771276
Gun to human. The math is a litttle hard when I'm buzzed.
Forgot pic>>31771326

>>31771320
wait is FAL chan a parent now to who is she married... can a man and gun have children.

>>31771162
Does dead fiance play a part in this again? Feels like it should, considering the backstory, though I can understand if you're waiting to hold it off for a bit.

Otherwise, it's cute.

Personally, I'm hoping it does not end up being
>Anon shoots RPK at the range
>RPK breaks anon's pelvis afterwards

>>31771350
Falfag's thread mom bruh, /k/oko's papi.

>>31771350
FAL is mom
/k/oko is dad
10/22 is loli
JT is 10/22's onee-chan

>>31771162

It's very odd that people are so accepting of Anon picking up a new woman while his dead fiance is still warm. It's honestly jarring that he hit the rebound so quickly.

>>31771371
10/22 also has an Oniichan, but he prefers not to namefag unless related to his works

>>31771378
oh dear god this is one very interesting family...
I hope there is no molestation of guns..

>>31771405
oh my god the ATF becomes a dysfunctional wafengiest protection agency.

>>31771420
>ATF becomes a dysfunctional wafengiest protection agency.
>ATF
>Protectionists
No

>>31771420
>the Waffegeist Protection Agency a subdivision of the ATF
Story idea if I've ever heard of one

>>31771350
>>31771370
>>31771371
These threads are treading into a territory I never thought possible.

Do keep going, don't let me stop you.

>>31771420
They're doing the raping in my story, with Feinstein seal of approval.

>>31771448
Atf agents actually believe they are protecting waffengiest by removing auto sears and other accessories.. They are well intentioned but just stupid.

>>31771447
mother approves!!!

>>31771445
>Waffengeist """""Protection"""""" Agency
>((((((Wafengeist Protection Agency))))))
FTFY
>>31771447
I mean, Anon-kun and I literally memed you guys into a family, only for me and 10/22 to further develop the House of /wfg/ inna Wisconsin full of woods and cheap property

I need to write a story about a lada nivia giest... man I wish I could get a cheap Russian suv for 8k new..

>>31771447
It started with 10/22 teasing JT, then 10/22 outed himself as a lightweight, so he's the "little sister" now.

You're the mom for a reason I can't quite recall right now, and I think I became the dad around the same time I sent dudebroguy a box.

That's the short version, now the question is "are we happy?"

>>31771484

And memed 10/22 into a loli don't forget that

>booze is more magic than anything
>captcha select all houses

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>>31771509
The question is if my 'motherly' help reached the the lightweight child. >:C

Otherwise, sure, I'm not bothered.

>>31771522
so lolihood is determined by alcohol drinking capacity. I get drunk easily but I don't pass out or lose control.. where the fuck does that leave me

>>31771509
Close enough... I joked 10/22 not being an alcoholic and deinking orange juice, which I then joked him as a loli, he decided to stroll with it and became a loli. Then Anon_kun suggested him as JT's imouto, which he later made FAL as momma, followed be referring you as Papi, which Polybus broke in and I decreed him as Uncle. Then during collaboration for the house between 10/22 and I, I ended up as Oniichan

>>31771535
Highschool loli

>>31771540
I regret nothing. Don't forget 10/22 admired to being a yandere loli as well.
>a happy family of booze guns and tanks

>>31771533
>The question is if my 'motherly' help reached the the lightweight child
yes, family huggos for 10/22 and Oniichan, pls

>>31771559
I mean I come from a long line of alcoholics... some how they are all functional and successful.

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>>31771540
>>31771562

>we were so drunk that night

>>31771562
Neither do I m8, this is the most successful and greatest invention I have ever made alongside with you. We could say we have done a productive job making a meme

>>31771559
well now you have a brown quadroon Hispanic loli...

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>>31771580
>implying I'm not drunk right now
>>31771581
2016 is meme year it seems like

Family moment

>>31771573
Shhh, embrace the loli...
>>31771580
Well, I was slightly buzzed due to "lol alcohol resistance" but yeah, you could say this was a drunken collaboration

>>31771540
i call basement gimp.

>>31771580
was a damn good night m8.

I need to write a story about a couple in the Bahamas during a happenings.

The guy gets blown across the island, girl ends up a rooftop sniper for the hospitals being setup in gangland slums searching for her man.

Wacky hijinks insue as they try and find each other again across a inner city wasteland. Brutally violent with loads of comedy and violent warrior woman snu snu...

Now I just have to start writing it..

>>31771533
There's also the mutant legs thing.

Between me and you, JT and 10/22 should be mukwa trees for legs. Have fun thinking about that when you go to bed.

>>31771615
That sounds awesome. Is gonna be upotte or more realistic fiction? I'm interested in either.

>>31771588
That's okay, I could be your brown, Armenian looking Hispanic Oniichan alongside 10/22
>10/22 now has competition with a delicious brown, probably busty
highschool loli craving headpats for Oniichan
It begins...
>>31771604
2016 might as well be the year of the dank memes

>>31771588
>>31771637
Are we gonna have oppai vs DFC again?
>>31771615
Sounds great

>>31771660

oh shit niggea what did I start.

>>31771667
>>31771660
loli deathmatch 2.0???

>>31771615
>warrior woman snu snu
oh hell yes.

>>31771667
>>31771711
I need to stop remembering shit from the /l/ board is what I need to do. Fug this I'm a down my rum and write more.

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>>31771667
>>31771711
>First wrestling between Oniichan and Oneechan
>Now a loli battle to the death with a busty brown loli against a yandere loli
>mfw
>31771756
>rum
What brand?

>>31771631
Could honestly be a mix. The characters start out as normal enough badass normals and through months of bad choices become delirious psychopaths. Talking weapon girls would be a highlight for the pragmatic part of there psychology...
>>31771660
My hope is showcasing how welwell people can adjust to violence and still be wonderful. A few notable scenes thus far are:
Explosive parting
No lungs left alive
Scare tactics
That clenching feeling
I missed you
Arson and invitations
Man hunting
Handcuffs and tinnitus
Compromised position
....

Takingn a break from blog post Here, been reading through then work on this thread, damn good so far. I think we need more dominating personality's for guns, especially during violence of action drills...

>>31771785
Sailor Jerry.
Sailor of the Planet Hawaii.
Fighting nips by night.
Dowing booze by day.

>>31771810
I'm more of a Bacardí guy, but that's mainly because I like to mix juice in my rums

>>31771711
Sometimes I feel most of us want is to be part of a team, love someone who is strong and brings us into violent and interesting situations....

Really we should move to Iran and marry commando women.
Side not woman in story absolutely wears the pants in this relationship. Not physically stronger or any such bs, but beanbag rounds, pain killers and Viagra type of domination.....eh still working on how magical to make that relm...

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>>31771875
will never operate with my wiafu. feels bad

if we hit bump limit again after i hit the sack, here is the updated sticky
http://pastebin.com/5yG5C9ek

>>31771912
I learned long ago that to separate fantasy from reality was a huge fucking mistake. Go full tilt into your delusions friends.

Can't prove we're not brains in jars, why not dream up as good a life as we can and leave the rest to the birds.

Now I'm going to imagine beating a chairleg full of scalples into a pirates lungs while beingn hunted by a deranged lover in a dark third world hospital full of criminals...

>>31771912
will never hear her talk about the superiority of the catral catral race only for me to point out that humanity fought them to a stand still and held their own.

>It's been a long ride.
>Of course, you knew what you were getting into riding up to Alaska from Idaho on your cruiser.
>But it wouldn't have felt right doing it any other way.
>Riding the bike your grandpa gave you to the vacation house in the mountains of Alaska he built.
>If only the circumstances were more favorable.
>It was hard seeing him grow so weak.
>He was always so independent until his last few moments.
>But his frail bones and weakened heart just couldn't support that lifestyle anymore.
>He spent the last few months of his life in your parents house, and you made sure to visit often.
>The day he passed was one of the hardest you've ever had, but your entire family was there to support each other.
>Even your somewhat estranged sister.
>A bottle of his favorite whisky was dedicated to him the night after the funeral.
>The day after, you met privately with your grandfather's lawyer for a private reading of what he left to you in his will.
>You weren't surprised when he left his entire firearm collection to you, since hunting, shooting and just talking about guns was a heavy part of your bonding with him.
>However, you were surprised to see that he left you the vacation home.
>You were certain that he had left that to your sister, since she moved in to "take care of the place" while he was in your parents' care.
>It was obvious that she just had nowhere to stay, and couldn't hold down a job for anything.
>Even thinking badly of any of your family felt wrong, but she really had a problem.
>And while you don't have any evidence, you're certain that her time spent studying in Portland, Oregon got her into weed.
>Not that you really give a shit about what she does with her life, but chronic laziness was something that rubbed you the wrong way.
>You spent many summers in Alaska helping your grandfather split wood, repair the house, and whatever else he could find to keep the both of you busy while you visited.

>>31771984
go for it drugs help..

>>31771996
>It'll be hard without him, but you'll try to keep the place from falling apart.
>After all, he trusted you with it.
>There is one thing you are looking forward to, though.
>Finally seeing your old friends.
>They've been cooped up in the safe for so long since only your grandpa and you could open it.
>It'll be hard telling them what happened.
>Your grandfather cared deeply about them, and they cared deeply about him in return.
>But in the end, he wanted to be with his daughter in his final days, so he left them in Alaska.

>>31771875
brother, all i find myself dreaming about these days is finding a woman who's stable.

>want to be part of a team
thats why we're here man. wfg is a weird functionally alcoholic family.

>>31771785
>>31771756
My money is on reigning champ 10/22.

>>31772002
>Your bike manages to negotiate the rather difficult terrain of the unpaved road.
>As expected of a well maintained two-wheel drive capable Ural.
>The last stretch of road that leads to the cabin is a quick ride.
>It took great self control to not cut through the forest with two wheel drive just to shave some time off.
>And have a bit of fun doing it.
>The house is just as you remember it.
>Two floors, a large deck in front, and a balcony built into the roof where you would spend summer nights observing the unpolluted starry night skies.
>Your sister probably parked in one of the two garages, since you know she took a plane the day after she visited the lawyer.
>She called up trying to figure out who received the house, and you told her that you were left it.
>There was an awkward couple of minutes where she begged you to not kick her out, and you assured her that she could stay as long as she wanted.
>You were only coming up to visit and then have the guns shipped to your home in Idaho.

>Pulling into the side lot of the driveway, you take note of a strange van.
>It's a locksmith.
>Could be that there was a locked door that she couldn't find the key to.
>After propping up your bike, you head up to the front door and knock.
>You're not really sure why, since you own the place now.
>The door creaks open a few minutes later.
>Your sister greets you with a half-hug and lets you in.
>"Hey 'Non, how's my favorite little bro doing?"
>You snort a bit and retort.
"You're only saying that because I'm your ONLY little brother, right Jane?"
>She chuckles a bit at your smartass reply.
>"Yeah sure, so how was the ride?"
"Cold as fuck. Long as fuck. Tiring as fuck. I think I'm gonna go lie down for a bit. Are you in the guest room or the master bedroom?"
>"All my stuff is in the guest room. Didn't want to touch gramp's stuff while he was away."
>You turn to head upstairs to get some shut eye.
>Before you do, you remember the locksmith van.

>>31772013
"Oh, almost forgot. What was that van out front for? You lock yourself out of the pantry or something?"
>She giggles at the joke, but it seems a bit unnatural for her.
>You always remember your sister as a deadpan and overly serious person when you were both teens.
>"Oh that, I was trying to get that old safe in the garage open. I figured since you didn't want to live here, I could start getting rid of some stuff I don't need around here."
>That sets off every alarm in your head.
>Without saying a word, you race for the garage and nearly break down the door to get in.
>In the corner, you see a man in coveralls using a circular saw to cut into the safe.
>There wasn't much progress yet, but you intend to halt it where it is now.
>You run up to him and pull him back by his shoulder.
>He drops the saw in surprise, and it clatters to the floor.
>Thankfully the grip safety deactivated it before it hit the ground.
>The locksmith turns to you with a heavy glare.
>"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? I'm trying to do some-"
>You quickly cut him off.
"Get the fuck out of here. This is my house and this is my safe."
>A look of confusion comes over him.
>"But isn't that girl the owner? She hired me after all."
>Your voice remains stern and your eyes held in a glare.
"That's my dumbass of a sister, and she has no right hiring you. I'll give you money for coming out here, but that's it. Now pack up and get out."
>He looks to the saw in thought, and then back to you.

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>>31772016
>"Okay, just calm down. I'll get out of here. But I'm going to need two hundred bucks for coming out here. Should I get that from your sister?"
"No, here-"
>You fish out your wallet and pull out two fifties and five twenties and hand it to him.
"Sorry for the confusion and being a prick, but this was all left to me by my grandfather."
>He takes the bills and puts the saw in his tool bag.
>"No hard feelings, mister. I'll be on my way."
>As he heads out the door you burst in from, your sister passes by him and joins you in the garage.
>"Anon, what the HELL was that about?!"
>You barely suppress your anger.
"Jane, that safe has MY guns. The ones grandpa left me. I'm going to pack them up and send them back to Idaho."
>Jane's face suddenly pales and her expression turns from being upset to panicked.
>Suspicion quickly builds up in you.
>You start working on the keypad lock hastefully.
>Opening up the safe, you feel relief as the guns seem to all be secure in their slots.
>From bolt action rifles of all kinds, to more modern semi auto designs.
>Racks of pistols and mags on the upper shelf and door.
>Everything seems to be there.
>Except-
"Jane, where is the M1 carbine?"
>You turn quickly to your sister.
>She seems to have grown even more pale.
>"W-W-What is that?"
"Wood stock, kind of short. Green pouches and sling. Where is it?"
>"Oh, that one... I, uh-"
"Jane, where the fuck is Ida?"
>You stare harshly at your sister.
>She can't meet your gaze.
>"It was in gramps' bedroom. I-I figured he didn't need it anymore, s-so I sold it."
>The calmness in your tone is fake, and she can tell.
"Jane-"
>"Anon, just listen. I needed the money! I couldn't-"
"Get the fuck out of my house."

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>>31771996
>>31772002
>>31772013
>>31772016

I don't have nearly enough booze for this shit.

>>31772020
dammit man, i dont need these feels tonight.

>>31772005
That's a welcome I can get behind chums.

Time to handcuff myself to the desk and polish off this shitty schotch.and maybe write this shit...

>>31772020

that has me so mad even though it isn't real I am ready to beat down a bitch that's fictional.

>>31772067
Amen, my blood pressure spiked as soon as I heard something involving a safe. My aunt did that shit to me, sold all my grandpa's guns when he died before I could get my hands on any of them. I still despise her.

>>31772055
You'll be okay. Just go for it, man. What sort of scotch?

I've got something in the works right now for you guys.

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>>31772020
The title is "What We've Lost"

>>31772040
>>31772053
>>31772067
I don't know why I did this.

>>31766171

heres the lyrics

i remember the time
i go the letter from mr obama
like from mr bush
like from mr clinton
like from mr bush
like from mr reagan
like from mr nixon
like from mr johnson
like from from mr kennedy
like from mr eiesenhower
like from mr roosevelt
and like from mr wilson

you send our sons
our brothers
our fathers

to war
and to die
i dont want that anymore
and you wont stop until the whole world is a field of white crosses

the taliban surrounded him
and the generals forced him
and you forced him
to stay and fight a lost position

in the 101st
company B
and thats how mr obama
took my father
from me

>>31772084
dude that is the sort of douche bagery I feel should be an executable offense.