/k/ makes a theme park Welp boys, all Kommandos worldwide h

>>31720081
So this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5RBCLx1XFM

A lazy river filled with cosmoline. Every so far guests cross by in row boats sneaking on the German controlled half of the river.

>>31720104
This

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Kissing booth with a qt

1 kiss for 10 .22lr rounds, Only after you've kissed the girl, she reveals that she was born a girl.

>>31720081
Ring toss with mk.II grenades

Don't forget to take your kids to visit Ivan! The ever lovable and popular kebab removal expert at the Kebab Hut, located across from the Krazy Kube Kastle, can you make it to the center of the Kastle and reach the Murder Kube?

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Square hamburgers in concession stands, with ghost pepper sauce: Murdercubes.

Mini U-Boat rides in the cooling pond.
A corn maze that also requires a dosimeter, called the "Get Out Of Here, Corn Stalker!"
Grenade Skee Ball.
Full-Auto everything, even corn dog vendors are full auto.
Everyone has a fake Russian accent, even the Russians.
Most popular rollercoaster: Fuck Chechnya™. Every ride uses more pyrotechnics than Disneyland does in a year. No discounts if you leave with PTSD.

If you beat up the drunken and runaway Boris, free vodka shots and a free nugget

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>>31721289
>Full-Auto everything, even corn dog vendors are full auto.

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What about something like this??

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>>31722906
spoopy prypiat wheel.

What about a maze like these hedge mazes in castle gardens except this time made of trenches with a Verdun theme and park personel disguised as angry ww1 krauts to chase visitors in ?

Wow, nobody mentioned a Ride the Bomb with Major Kong ride?

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>>31722906
Shooting range from the ferris wheel?

Enola-rolla-coaster
A hanging roller coaster that lets you drop water balloons onto people.

Trench-town: ww1 themed area that is dug below ground level. Complete with shell-shocked guys dressed as Tommies. Buy a trench-foot long at the Subway™, eat fresh!

>>31720176
.22 lr should be tokens to pay for attractions.

>>31723846
>drop water balloons onto people.
water weather balloons

>>31723933
Bullets are used as the currency of the park, ala Metro 2033?

>>31720081
The /K/oaster
you start off on a really fun roller coaster passing by huge video displays of tank footage and awesome battle scenes, before halfway through loudspeakers start coming on with an argument between two people about Tigers vs. Shermans. At this point the ride derails and dumps everyone off.

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There's a restaurant in which traditional slavic foods are served, with the most popular dishes being kvas and a meat plate including kielbasa, salo, shashlik and nuggets

Jawman. Jawman needs to be somewhere in this park.

>>31724010
Sure

How about, instead if bumper cars, we have small t-34s and panzer IVs and Shermans the fire non lethal projectiles at eachother in an area designed to simulate tank combat throughput ww2? Forests, plains, desert, you name it! The winning crew gets little tanker helmets and a discount for the moist nugget meal from the food vendors?

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>>31723687
How about shooting these radioactive catfish next to the NPP. Or maybe we could harness them and make them a ride?

Duga climbing wall

a vendor cart that sells Tourist's Delight

barefoot tours of the Sarcophagus. "See The Elephant's Foot!"

Log flume whose cars are nugget crates with benches bolted into them

On-ride cameras disguised as artillery pieces

Ivan Chesnokov mascot stumbling around, firing an obrez into the air

Arcades filled with firearms-related games, including the ever-famous "Whack-A-Kebab"

Petting zoo full of wild boar, entry fee allows you to pet them with a helicopter-mounted machine gun

One of those rides that takes you up 50ft in the air and swings you around in a chair, tilt a whirl I think it's called

That but on an oversized vulcan minigin

>>31720081
A house of horror that's got skin walkers and ayy n shit and maybe antman

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Nice thread m8s

>>31720176
>she reveals that she was born a girl

What did he mean by this? No, seriously. What did you mean by this? Is it a GoT thing? I haven't seen that show in a long time.

We need something special for /arg/ and /akg

Two buildings across from one another, saloon style, where they ask your favorite rifle type and caliber before entrance

Anyone who answers other than AR or AK gets beaten up by every able bodied patron in the bar

Constant shootouts between them

Usually found with signs hanging in their respective shops, "Fuck stuopit slavs", "Ameriburgers suck dick", "Muh reliability", and "muh MOA"

>>31720081
A ball in the hole game (Ball in the hole 3 times and ya get a stuffed bmp-2 or something), except OPpenheimer is the attendent, and you gotta toss 3 MIRV ICBM's onto the missile fields.

If you win, you get another round, or a stuffed BMP-2.
Two rounds, you get another round or a stuffed B-52.
3 rounds, you get a stuffed Curtis Lemay. (it talks and smokes).

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>>31727915
I suggest this for all general thread posters and tripfags

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>>31720081
It ain't me helicopter ride, shoot at VC with a doorgun mounted m60, just remember kids, anyone who runs is a VC anyone who stands still is a well trained VC. If you get 20 kills you get one of those missile hats the vc wears,40 kills you get a born to kill vietnam helmet, kill 50 children and women you get a full automatic m16 with a m203 launcher.

A roller coaster, groups of 7, each person is in a seat literally above the next person. The ride begins with the 7 people "loaded" into a giant 1911, and each person is "shot" out and goes onto the rest of the generic ride. Corkscrews will be constant when not doing anything else

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"The PTSD /K/onditioner"

A log ride through a vietnamese jungle, you are put into a hollow log with 4 other /k/omrades armed with M16s and an M60 and many thousands of rounds. You are put through an overnight long, slow drift down a vietnamese jungle (see: apocalypse now) with many waves of gooks rushing you. You get a portable music player in your log ride with the only song being 'It Ain't Me' by 'Clarence's Clarinet Recital'. If you survive the hundreds of gooks and mental trauma at the turn of dawn, you are given a refund on the ride, and a choice of an AKM or an M14 as a souvenir.

>>31727962
Would agree, glad that someone has the same idea!

>>31724115
>jawman wax museum depicting every famous battle

>>31727899
This fag dosent know about traps.

>>31720081
It's called patriot park, it's in Russia

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/k/iddie park consists of a oval shaped ride, which the kids ride in a hanging A-10 or Su-25 that bobs up and down, then makes a gun run on kebab armor, and the kids have to shoot as many as possible.