>"Open up anon this is the police, we have a warrant

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>get shot
>bleed out
>die

Activate dead hand system.

"Fuck you, come earn your paycheck."

Hey uhh buddy I think you got the wrong door.

Throw out white flag, invite one and only one officer inside for conference under flag of truce. If officer is hell-bent on weapons confiscation, allow him to retreat alive. Brief household of my intention to stand and fight, allow non-combatants to withdraw. Begin livestream on Facebook detailing my position. Commence WWIII.

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There's plenty of time to get ready.

>>31612065
Let slip the dogs of war
>Aka: let loose 500+ dogs out every door and see what Mr lawman can do while I take shots at him

>>31612065
Shoot until either I am dead or everyone else is dead, jokes on them though because I have a dead mans switch that will blow my entire yard and my house to hell

>>31612065
Shit my pants

>>31612253
>Other guy takes it and knocks it down in 3 smacks or so
That first guy is not gonna live it down. That was full on, "Let a man handle this."

I'm already innawoods grieving the loss of all my firearms in that tragic boating accident

>boobytrappedexplodingcondo.mp4

>>31612065
>warrant
>court order
I do nothing. I let them take the guns, fight it in court, win because I did absolutely nothing illegal or wrong to deserve this, and counter sue for violating my fourth amendment right or unlawful arrest. And for shooting my dog, since I know for a fact they'll do it regardless of how friendly he is.

>>31612065
Fuck off government shill

>>31612065
They can enter my house, but they won't know about the 10,000kgs of explosives under my house ;)

>>31612253
Note to self: get rubber door, lube porch

>>31612752
Guarantee he'd say "I loosened it up for you tho".

>>31612253

Scottish forced entry trained officer here.

This isn't actually that uncommon, or (aside from the fall) that embarrassing if they had no other equipment. Those plastic bendy doors are our fucking nemesis. I dunno how common they are in the US, but they're ubiquitous enough over here that most units have a hydraulic spread/ram on hand precisely for these sorts of doorways. Rips apart the frame, lets the door just fall off its hinges and lock.

Knocking that thing in physically is fucking impossible to do in any sort of appreciable timescale.

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>>31612254
Thanks comrade its been awhile since I've had a field day.

>>31612254
So, you're the one who let the dogs out.

>>31612752
>That was full on, "Let a man handle this."

No it wasn't

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>>31612065
Cooperate. Then, take it to court, because I have literally done nothing illegal, and sue city hall for every nickel they're worth.

Then I'll use the government's money (my money now) to buy hundreds of handguns and resell them for pennies on the dollar to anyone who wants one and can pass a background check. Then I will post myself doing it (with faces blurred out for the anonymity of my customers) on Youtube so that the cocksuckers responsible get to know that thanks to them there are hundreds or thousands of new guns on the street and there isn't a single fucking thing they can do about it, and it is 100% their fault.

Hell I'll probably live off the youtube revenue at that point.

>>31613157
Kek

Depends on how cucked the law is by this point. If it's right now, do what other anons said and sue them to death.

If it's after january, still let them because all my funs are in another state

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>>31613554
This is the greatest thing I've read all week.

>>31613157
What are going to home alone it?

Sgt. We tried take his guns but he had marbles on the floor, an electrified door knob, and a birthing gel on the rest of the floor

>>31613244
could you cunts do something about all the fucking roma: i'm not saying disappear them into a peat bog but just fucking frame them for gear so they get deported. am pure sick o they untermenschen fuckers, govanhill is like a bucharest slum at this point.

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>>31612065
how do you do, fellow pro 2a friends? I know what myyy gameplan is... now tell me, whats yours anon?

>>31614099
your wife and kids

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>>31614099

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Okay come in, I surrender

>>31612065
>I SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS FEMALE AND I HAVE A SET OF PREFERRED PRONOUNS
>THIS IS A HATECRIME AND IM PRESSING CHARGES
*swallows flax seed*

>>31612254

>ATF Dream Sequence

>>31612065
>"Open up anon this is the police, we have a warrant and court order to search your home and confiscate your weapons"
>implying they would knock

>>31612065
Fire fight and then seppuku

>>31612065
Open the door and let them search. If they have a warrant, there's little else to be done.

>>31612065
Detonate claymores.
In lieu of claymores, turn on all gas stoves to high and blow out all but the oven pilot light. It t5akes a bit longer, but the effects are similar

>>31612859
>Hillary as POTUS
>Constitution is upheld

You're delusional

>>31613554
see
>>31614587

>>31613970
>implying that wouldn't work
>implying that wouldn't be the perfect alliby
Your honor,I thought they were monsters
>local cops shamed for assaulting the i differently abled with military force

>>31612076
God, I hate this loveable fat fuck.

>>31612065
Probably die in a hail of gunfire

>>31613244
>Scottish forced entry trained officer here.
That sounds based.


>ah'll knock yer fucking front door in, laddie!

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>>31613244
How many people do I have to offend to get picked up for hate speech in Scottland?

I ask for a friend who's thinking about making a video about his dog being a Nazi

>>31612065
Activate lube bucket at all doors making entry difficult. Start to get ready for war and put on PBF, start burning every raw ingredient in the house on the stove, get some slim shady playing at the max on my audio system, and put on my kevlar while barricading the windows and moving into the basement, taking out the stairs as I go. Get prepared to napalm everyone.

Guns? All my guns were lost in a tragic, but unavoidable boating accident.

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>>31612065
>>31614099
>yell "just a minute!"
>go upstairs
>open window
>take massive piss on officers
>get shot down
>die laughing

>>31614587
Hillary or Trump as POTUS.

Just pray that the supreme court decides the constitution matters, at least a little.

>>31612065
Strip naked and oil myself from head to toe, apply gas mask, combat boots and tactical erection. Run in circles around house screaming "I'm getting Waco'd" until tazed and beaten to submission.

>>31613244
Remove your fucking gypsie already

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pic related

>>31613554

That's nice, until Big Brother Clinton sends a hitsquad to force you to commit suicide.

Pretty sure after the raid squads start taking an average of 1 serious injury/death per raid theyll stop in a few weeks. Probably sooner if they take greater losses

Just my 2 cents

Also, the whole 'taking it to court' thing is what they want you to do. We all know how corrupt and anti gun alot of the court circuits are.

You taking it to court and praying the legalese gods will favor you (and also getting $ for a lawyer since thats the only way they want you to defend the natural rights they sell back to you) while your fellow countrymen all get disarmed is the most cucked shit Ive ever heard.

>>31612065
>"What guns? I lost them in a tragic boating accident."

Die while blasting this :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqcizZebcaU

>>31614867
Thanks for the kek mexico

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>>31612106
The leather club's two blocks down.

>>31612065

blow up the house once enough of them have entered

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>>31619398
this
>mfw gas stove

>>31612963

Are you trying to level the house, or the entire block? That's over twenty thousand pounds of explosives.

>>31612254

Waco 2.0
Every ATF wet dream.

>>31615738
Only real logical answer ive seen

>cops at door
>we're here for your guns
>let them in
>they shoot dog
>tell them I don't have any guns anymore
>activate roof hatch
>drone dirigibal carrying all of my guns lifts up and hopes the fuck out to a preprogrammed location
>drone goes innawoods to hang out until shit blows over
>cops can't find guns. They are furious
>WHERE ARE THE GUNS ANON?!
>sorry, lost them in a boating accident
>WHAT BOAT?
>at this time a second dirigibal appears. It has a boat
>boat explodes in air
>officer is now very furious
> THAT's IT!! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
>inform him he can't arrest me under airitime law
>HUH?
>he looks behind him. See the ground far below.
>the entire time he didn't realize that the house was a dirigibal
>push him out door
>bug in at my house while simultaneously bugging out innawoods.

Catalog this one, ATF plant.

>>31620313
Are you or I on drugs right now

>>31620529
I drank a shitload of zzzquil in an effort to go to sleep.
I'm awake through it and seeing green specs on my screen.
Does that help?

>>31620556
Yeah that clarifies things for me, I just need to go to bed but you're gonna OD

>>31620648
I've had this happen before.
For any serious side effects I would need to drink over a bottle.

>>31612254
>let loose hundreds of dogs
>ATF kills commences shooting
>ATF runs out of ammo
sayhellotomylittlefriend.jpg

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>>31613244
I have a picture of you, actually, pic related

>>31620313
fuckin lel

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>>31614099
Go visit your kids at daycare.

>>31620817
>McVeigh bombs building with truck
>911 happens
>now government buildings have those pegs around them, and fighters will be scrambled If any weird air traffic occurs.
>pull up tractor trailer close to the intended target building
>what's that coming out of the top of the trailer
>ohshititsadirigible
>not enough time to get fighters
>pegs are innefective
>dirigible-kazi lands on building
>2000 gallons of jet fuel is iginited.
>it melts the beams.

>>31620313
Toppest of Kek
severely underrated

>>31620663
>visual hallucinations
>not serious side effects

>>31620946
>it melts the beams


anon...

>>31612065
>napalm-trap the entire house, set fire when they are deep enough to be unable to escape
>bug out with guns

>>31620313
Not even Chuck Jones can come up with this. Lel

>>31614807
Yours too? Aww shit man that happened to me as well

>>31612254
You fool you just called everyone in the atf to your front yard

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*Record Scratch*

*Freeze Frame*

“Yeah…that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well it’s a funny story actually..."

I live in California so them coming for my guns is just a matter of time. When they come I'll lay down on the ground like a bitch and beg them to not hurt me. While willingly give up my guns like a good sheep.

Granted these being CA cops they are usually violent and easily aggressive so they will probably beat me a few times for no reason. Afterwards I'll thank the cops for not killing me since I virtually have no rights in CA unless your a faggot or a woman.

>>31624140

start buying dresses now. then you can claim to be both a faggot and a woman.

>>31624087

Good, the dogs will take them out in one blow.

>>31620724
kek

>>31614807
I lost mine in a tragic boaking accident.

>>31614807
Guns? I judiciously turned in those dangerous weapons at a police buyback years ago. I already spent the WalMart giftcard

>>31612065
> go hide in the fridge
> wait for them to enter
> set of the explosives I have rigged to blow up my house
>????
Profit

>>31620313
>airitime law
gold

>>31614099
Come out nude, with bad dragon dildos affixed to my body with mighty putty, covered in lube

Good luck not getting every officer penetrated at LEAST once.

>>31617033
I get that this is probably anti-second amendment, but, what sort of mentality do these comic writers have?

"It's hopeless to defend yourself, may as well give up."

Like, just slap the cuffs on yourself, man.

>>31626036
Indy plz

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>>31620313
you forgot to yell IT WASN'T EVEN MY DOG as he falls

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>>31612065
>Pop a shit load of propranolol with liquor
>Be mellowed the fuck out
>Get shot the fuck up in a hail of gunfire
>Bleed out smiling and being totally okay with it

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>>31612065
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MezLoczjfY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ1-ZUN3Li0

I'm grateful this wasn't here. I probably wouldn't be alive.

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>>31620313
Fucking kek that was great

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All these people living in their decoy houses.

>>31615738
kek

>>31617033
better dead than red

>>31622062
I had some after effects this morning.
My brain would feel weird for around 5 minutes at a time.
The feeling would then go away.
I was a bit worried I may pass out.

>>31627273
Dude I was semi conscious when I wrote that stupid bullshit.
I checked to see what I wrote when I woke up.

>>31612065

What guns, Officer? Mine were all lost in a boating accident right after Hillary got elected.

>>31624105
...and like many funny stories, this one started at Wendy's. I was just your average short order chef making 120,000 a year. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but it was OK because I had an 8 inch dong.

>>31612065

Get angry and storm right out of my bed and go over and slap the intruder in my home and tell him to get the fuck out of my house and let me fucking sleep because the sun hasn't even gone up yet!

After making the guy walk out of the house in shame I'll go over and hit my small dog for yelping and crying so goddamn loud all night long and slap my big dog for pissing on the carpet.

Then I'll go and hit my kids with my belt for screaming and running around in the middle of the goddamn night and yell at my uncle to stop groping my son and go back to masturbating.

Then I'll go back to my bedroom and hit my wife the second time again and tell her to stop inviting random fucking strangers to our home in the middle of goddamn night and tell her to make a proper sandwich next time.

Then I'll go back to sleep and hope everyone learned their own goddamn lesson or by god I'll start drinking.

>>31630309
Fresh pasta right from the oven

>>31612065
>What weapons?
>Prove I have any weapons or have ever owned any.
There is no Federal gun registration list fuck nuggets.
And most States don't have one either.
At best you can track down NFA tax stamped items.

>>31633181
>let me just file these 1000 subpoenas and knock on the door of everyone that has ammo shipped to their house or bought ammo with a credit card
>inb4 too much data to sift through
It's not. We live in the future.

>>31633400
Bank records only tell you how much you paid at a store. Not what you bought at a store. Stores only hold onto sales data for so long before its cleared from records. You would have to issue supeonas for everyone who ever shopped at a Walmart, bass
Pro, etc.

>>31633400
>It's not. We live in the future.


Tell that to the FBI who can't even find terrorist's 2 year log of ISIS support on facebook after the Aloha Snackbar is days old.

>>31627178
That comic makes perfect sense though.

>>31627178
That's because they always think of it as an individual stand off which will likely end with you lying dead in a pool of your own blood.

What they don't realize is that when enough individuals gather as a group to resist government tyranny they might actually get shit done.

Washington didn't fight the British off alone you twats.

>>31617033

me irl

>>31618885
known as getting "whitewatered"

>>31619290
Fuck yoooouu~