>hear a loud bang, wake up >it's the middle of the

>>31573578
fuck it

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>>31573578
shoot

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>>31573578
>rape

Probably shit myself at the sight of a 4 foot tall, bug eyed, goblin eared silhouette standing in my hallway

Looks likes it's time to see what are the repercussions of fucking a doe.

>>31573578
Shoot it anyway, deer will either run or try to beat the shit out of you.

Case in point: jalopnik.com/real-ass-deer-fights-driver-after-getting-run-over-die-1787255568

>>31573578
Punch it in its smug deer face. Solely so that I can tell people I punched a deer.

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>>31573611

>>31573578
>dat ear tag and collar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGsFdh1SPOA

vid related and call the forest cops, cant kill it because they know when its been killed

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>>31573578

I knew a woman would come and find me eventually.

>>31574361
well then give me a link you cocktease

>>31573630
>Punched a massive rat.
>OMG you hurt a harmless animal that loves nothing more then to dive in front of cars!

>>31574412

https://e621.net/post/show/763225

https://e621.net/post/index/1/cervine%20order:score

>>31573578
That happened to my neighbor.
>3 AM
>CRASSSSH
>BOOM BOOM CRASH BOOM CRASH
>Turn on lights
>deer in living room

Thin jumped through their picture window, tore up the living room in a panic and bled all the fuck over everything

>>31573605
fpbp

>>31573578
Offer it some carrots.

Bayonet charge.

>>31574479
Wow uhh alright then

>>31573578
I would [spoiler]pet and feed[/spoiler] the deer.

>>31573605
oh m8 you beat me to it

>>31573578
Unless it's during the hunting season I try get it out of house.

I don't kill innocent animals unless I'm going to eat them or wear them. Humans on the other hand should understand and respect property rights.

>>31573605
Someone post that picture.
You know the one.

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>>31573611

>>31573578
Open fire

Venison for dinner!

The tag and tracker makes it look like one of the US Dept. of Agriculture bait deer they're using in our area. Don't shoot it unless you're wanting to be charged.

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>>31580873

Tell her to go back to bed and that ill be there in a minute.

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>>31573611
I feel bad for laughing at this.

>>31573611

Glad to see my perverted ramblings are still being saved and reposted.

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Deer are so cute and elegant that I feel a duty to cull their overpopulated herds to ensure a better way of life for them. Starvation and disease aren't good.

Do your part to prevent deer barnacles!

On topic: I'd shoot it depending on the status of the population in the area. They're not a pest if there's a sustainable amount of them.

>thank god I live in Arizona where you can hunt hogs and coyotes all year

>>31573578
It isn't spazzing all over the place, and I don't need blood all over the floor, so I dunno, feed it?

>>31574479
God will punish us for this faggotry

>>31582085
>tfw no hogs to hunt
I just want to kill 100 of something larger than a rabbit before I die.

>>31573578
Go online and lookup e-law. In some states that doe has more rights than you when its not huntin season

>>31573578

Legit just laugh my ass off for a good 10 minutes.

Pet it
Feed it
Teach it to Seig Heil
video it heiling hitler then release it into the wild

>>31573605
>>31573611
OP should have known better than too talk about deer on /k/

>>31573578
Shoot the fuck out of it then fuck it!

pet it because deers a cute

A CUTE

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>>31582567

This.

What else can you do?

>mfw being confronted with that retarded deer stare

>>31573662
Even more of a reason to shot it
>it was dark officer and i didnt know who it was
>eh haha since its dead, can i keep the meat anyway?

>>31573578

call police/animal control

if it starts jumping around and fucking shit up ima blast it with 7.62x54r fuck my ears

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>>31573611
wew

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>>31573611
>>31573605
I'm in fucking tears.

/k/ is a magical place.

>>31582177
Every day, we venture further away from god's light.

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Cuddle it

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>>31573578
>mfw I don't have a HD gun. I would literally have to hide in my cuck shed and hopefully wait for him to leave and not tear up too much stuff.

>>31580894
If it's in your house at the time you shoot it I don't think they can argue shit.

ITT: Faggots who are afraid of deer.

The absolute worst-case scenario here is that the deer bolts and bashes up a ton of your shit in the process. Deer are fucking retarded, they're like giant cats with stone feet.

>>31583758

more like the absolute worst case is that it bolts at you, flips out and hooves you to death with its foot tusks

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>>31574645

I had a similar experience, except it was a black bear. He had torn the window from the frame and was in the process of wiggling through the frame into the living room. I looked at him, he looked at me, I went for the shotgun, by the time I returned he had backed out and disappeared over the horizon.

>>31582199

>i just want to do an mmo quest before i die

>>31583758
Did you even read the thread you fucking mong?

>ITT: Based faggots who want to fuck deer
FTFY

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>>31583801
Black bears are basically giant raccoons. You don't want one hanging off your leg, but most of the time they're pussies.

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>>31583319
WANT FUCK SEXY DEER

>>31574645
You haven't lived until your bedroom window breaks at 2am and you find yourself face to face with a massive bull moose.

>>31584447
Why do kitty kats have such balls of steel?

>>31585768
Or is it that black bears are pussies?

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>this thread

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>>31578270
dis one?

>>31578270
Dude I did it
I have ban for 29days now...

>Shitpost from mobile

>>31573578

*sigh* Sweetheart, its 2 in the morning, go back to sleep.

>>31573578
>notice it's a deer
>step away slowly
>grab some Dad's cookies
>spread them around in a trail heading to the door to back yard
>get the fuck out of my house you hoofed rat cunt

Would I have sex with it? Sure. The problem is that this fucking animal is in my house fucking shit up. I want it out with as little mess as possible, a few cookie crumbs is better than pretty much anything else.

>>31589739
sauce?

>>31592709
no stop it /k/

>>31573578
"Are ya winning, son?"

>>31592594

She just wants a little late night lovin'.

>>31592559
what picture?

>>31573578
>unzips pants

>>31589739
source

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>>31596054
O she wants that D

>>31596054
oh my god /k/ STOP

DON'T MAKE ME LUST FOR THAT TIGHT LITTLE DOE CUNNY