What do my fellow britbongs use to defend themselves? I've

>>31568804
>What do my fellow britbongs use to defend themselves?
their anus

>>31568804
3 D cell mag lite. Your weapons must be inconspicuous.

>>31568804
you faggots play cricket right? or a chainsaw. or just pepper spray. or get a knockoff "autographed" baseball bat off amazon. or a huge dildo and claim to be gay. you automatically win in court if youre an oppressed minority. bonus points if you bring your "best friend and life partner" Nigel with you.

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i have a machete, sword, billhook and some other rocks and clubs and staffs and shit.
when i'm walking i carry a military knife (i can carry it because of my religion, because muh germanic paganism says you need to keep a weapon near you.) before i converted i carried a maglite and a small folding knife with me.

>>31568804
I have a 150lb crossbow and a tomahawk. Crossbow is only good for 1 shot because you'll never have time to reload another, so only really useful in a narrow hallway then switch to the tomahawk if they keep coming.

But a 150lb bolt to the chest of stomach will do a ton of damage even through leather if you can land it.

>>31568926
Does it concern you that I know everything about you by looking at that one picture?

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>>31568804
I have a FAC & shot cert so Saiga 12.

But see image.

>>31568804
Used to live in both of the shittiest parts of London, east and south. Never met a single person my age who didn't have a knife with themselves. Most of them said that essentially as long as it's pretty much the size of your palm, it's legal. As for sharpening it, I don't know. I'd just sharpen it and make it look as if it still had the factory edge on it to avoid any legal troubles (though that in itself is probably illegal, but oh well).
That's what I used to do.
You know what the best thing to use for self defense is? Your legs.
Fucking run. No point in getting a new hole put into you because you wanted to prove you had bigger balls than the other guy.
Oh and remember, chavs never fucking fight fair. If one ever tries to take you on they either have a knife on them or have 5 guys behind the corner (they also probably have knives).

Become a sihk, Say it's your religious duty to carry a dagger and defend the defenseless.

>>31568998
sounds like you lived in ghettoistan.

Newhamd or b&D for east?

But otherwise pretty good advice, but OP is looking to defend his flat.

>>31568965
It's only concerning if you're actually delusional enough to honestly think that.

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Steel buttplug, for deep concealment.
If you ever need to use it to knock a sandnigger out and the shariah patrol comes to the rescue to arrest the FUCKING WHITE MALE you are. Just say you are a faggot (which is an euphemism for a brit) on his way to some gay pride parade or hardcore gay nightclub. The diversity team will comes to your rescue immediately.
100% guaranteed or your money back.

>>31569031
In fact the filth on the carpet says it all, never mind the stuff

>>31569024
Walthamstow/Leyton for east
Croydon/Mitcham for south

>>31569053

9/10, most entertaining bait I've read in a long time. Got a good laugh from me.

Well done.

>>31569071
ah stow. I'm an essex bloke myself.

>>31569085
Never been to essex, how's it?
Apart from fake tan on every white girl there, I've not heard much else about it.

>>31568926
What's with what I presume is a quantity of silver?

>>31568926
How's the wee pistol crossbow mate?

>>31569103
i laughed.
33% farmers armed to the teeth.
33% normies.
11% retired gangsters
11% wannabe whigger gangstas
11% "legitimate businessmen" who will actually end you.

>>31568926
That's at least 2-3000 worth of gold owned by an idiot who lives in his parents basement and thinks owning a weapon is the same as having a fucking clue how to use it.
also the only firearms they possess are a pair of pellet rifles and some crossbows that have never seen legitimate use (practice or otherwise)

the GMO seeds are a nice touch, but since their presence suggests that this is an emergency preparedness kit, the lack of a first aid kit is pathetic.

Where we at britbros? Any north west lads?

>>31568804
You could still move within the EU while you have the opportunity. Cz and Est allow concealed carry.

>>31569139
Ah I'm glad I moved away now.
Gotta admit, the normies are alright people, it's just that there's not enough of them.

>>31569085
>>31569103
>essex

https://youtu.be/L4r_a5adehs

>>31568897
>or a chainsaw
Pretty sure we're not aiming to get OP sent to Azkaban.

>>31569182
I still prefer this to TOWIE.

It's ross kemp central where i live.

5/10 Still better than living anywhere else.

>>31569139
>99%

That 1% doesn't exist.

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Pellet gun / pistol - I got one and I live in the UK.

>>31569240
1% for pikeys and other illegal immigrants going somewhere else

>>31569260
> I want to be killed

>>31569260

NI?

>>31569387
you can own a pellet gun on mainland.

>>31569260 - Don't need one there legal if you are 18+ and cannot fire anything above .177

>>31568804
You can always just hire Americans.

>>31569260
>pull out fake gun
>Muhammad feels his life is in danger and resorts to use his knife or real gun

Yeah, that's going to end well for sure.

>>31569419
Guess you could shoot him in the eye and blind him ;)

>>31569111
>>31569109
>>31568965
>>31569155
not my picture. got it off 4chan

HD is a Bowie knife, apathetic neighbours, useless police and a house that backs on to the woods.

Out and about I avoid shithole cities full of muslims, job jobbed.

Live in a generally middle to upper middle class area. Small town but like all places there are shits around. I own these guns but my first resort would most likely be a ka-bar. I don't want to lose any to a police property store.

>>31568804

Keep a pipe somewhere within reach. If the police ask why you beat the home invader's skull open with it, say "I have been planning to install a pull-up bar and had so had the pipe to fix on my doorframe. I was in fear for my life and this is all I had to hand."

The key thing to self-defence in Britain is PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. You are expressly not allowed to carry a weapon, or anything that could be improvised into a weapon, for the specific purpose of self-defence. However if you in your panic and fear of death use an item INTENDED FOR A NON-VIOLENT PURPOSE to defend yourself with, no-one can hold it against you.

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Live in a generally middle to upper middle class area. Small town but like all places there are shits around. I own these guns but my first resort would most likely be a ka-bar. I don't want to lose any to a police property store.

>>31570151
Buy a Tra'or an kee' a sho'un in i'.
O i' you buy a combi'e 'arvester ye can mash up the' city folk's

>>31568804
Arguments.

>>31570207
AI bro.
I hat the AIC-X i'll keep my AICS

>>31570151 (You)

Further to the above, the "not allowed to use anything that could be improvised into a weapon" clause is why you have to be careful about defending yourself with sports equipment. Say you bean the pikey with a cricket bat: an awkward policeman could well ask "if you were in fear for your life, why did you waste time going into your closet and opening and digging through your cricket pads to find this instead of calling for help or trying to escape?" This is also why it's pretty much impossible to defend yourself with guns, even if you're properly licensed - a policeman is going to question why you wasted time opening your gun cabinet and loading your gun - he'll say that if you had enough free time to do that without being interrupted then you were not in immediate danger and so were not in fear for your life.

Things need to be set up with your weapons so that it's conceivable you could grab them suddenly in a second's rush.

>>31570247
Essex police had a quiet chat with all gun owners in the county.
they put it and said if you have firearms in your property you SHOULD use them to defend yourselves. Especially if you live on a farm, or are far from a station.

Their reasoning is if you kill someone who is trying to steal your guns, you have possibly prevented murder.

This came from a spate of gun thefts by pikeys in Kent which ended up involved in over 7 murders.

The fact of the matter is you need to fire a warning shot. and you need to stay on the phone to a dispatcher.

The meme is that you injure or kill someone and you get arrested. The fact of the matter is you are charged with GBH or Manslaughter, but you then the evidence is presented in court, and you should be OK.

>>31570273
Isn't that when its time for the old "I was in the middle of cleaning it to put it away and heard a crash and suddenly this heavily tanned gentleman was running at me with a kitchen knife"

>>31570373

Just make sure that you've got a dirty cleaning rod and some oily rags that you can throw on the kitchen table before the rozzers show up.

>>31570324
>The fact of the matter is you need to fire a warning shot.

Really? This is a crime in the US.

>>31570324

I... what? I can't believe this. Not in England. The police hate all gun owners and have actively briefed for gun bans as a matter of policy even before the Hungerford and Dunblane massacres. We exist on sufferance and I cannot conceive of any police force encouraging firearms use. When on earth was this?

I have a KaBar strapped to my bed and some rattan sticks by my bedroom door.

A heavy rattan stick is as far as I'd like to explain to a British Jury. Just something I train with. Happened to be in my room.

If it's between death and jail I'm more than happy to paint the walls.

Frankly in my area my chance of a break in are infinitesimal.

>>31570151
Between me and points of entry to my home I normally have all manner of tools to cause endless torture to animal vegetable and minerals a gun would be overkill.

>>31570495
Yea it's funny isn't it's the complete opposite here.

>>31570495

Well, another way that the UK is surprisingly more liberal than the US is suppressors. in the UK you're actively encouraged to use suppressors to reduce disturbance to your neighbours.

>>31570570

eh, not beyond the realms of possibility. A lot of firearms licensing officers are former shooters themselves, and if they happen to offer their opinion then that's ok. It certainly isn't the opinion or feeling of most chief constables or other officers. My firearms enquiry officer has said he hates the licensing system in this country and it should be relaxed.

Is it sad that I am hoping that somebody responds with something tea related (hot cup of tea or teapot) or a stiff upper lip?

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>>31568804
make a shield, it's an easy, fun project. everybody thinks shields are obviously 100% defensive when in reality you can smash face with them.

>>31568936
are you me?

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>>31570570
Where i live blokes walk the streets with guns like umbrellas.
Maybe a year ago this happened. Gen is pikeys stealing guns from farms and moving them into london to be sawn off and used by gangs. They caught one couple reluctant to get them out the cabinet so they shanked both of them.

Essex is extremely hard to police, my wait time for police is 28 mins.

In that time they could take a herd and millions of pounds of machinery.

>>31570775
my captcha
say no mo

Glock 19 for PPW, anything I like around the house.

I've only used it once in many years, thankfully.

>>31570832
Whilst you will be in a (much) better spot than you would have been under the previous government if you shoot and kill someone breaking in, no police force on the mainland is giving that as advice.

>>31568926
You have just failed ... like entirely

silver coins in individual coin containers (did you spend £25 per coin on ebay? lol), seeds??? please tell me what time of year to plant them without looking at the packets or where you could plant them and not have them fucked with?

shit tier crossbows and air rifles, china man knives and a few antiques. Dude if you legitimately plan to trust your life to these weapons dont buy shitty poundshop crap


less than £500 in silver even with bullshit inflate prices atm ... your bugout kit needs one item, a length of rope to save everyone the ball ache of dealing with you

>>31570324
>>31570832
>>31570879
Fellow essex Lad can confirm its more or less correct.

Brentwood station on Friday and Saturday nights have uniformed police and plain clothed officers to send rabble back.

If they don't like the look of you or are known to them, they'll ask for drivers licence and train ticket and if your address isn't brentwood you're getting back on that train.

I heard they caught some stratford mandems attempting to board the train with some lupes. Not to mention a decade ago shenfield high street was the most robbed at gunpoint place in the country.

Where's your Field at man? Who's your IO?

>>31568998
Dude please pay attention, the laws you need to know are;

no knife with a blade over 3"

No locking blades, butterfly or fixed blades

must have a good reason to have it (not self-defense)

factory edge has nothing to do with anything, you can skate around the law but ultimately get busted with a knife and no good reason to have it you are getting fucked. Even then it ideally falls within the above rules.

Personally I carry a swiss army knife, completely fucking useless for stabbing people, would take a lifetime to get out and get ready and even then if I stabbed someone I would probably cut my fingers off. I could carry this virtually anywhere and justify it, some scrote in london with a fixed blade or locking knife will be ass fucked by the full fore of the law.

I do agree with your last point, practice running and you'll last longer than someone with a knife.

Remember kids no one wins a knife fight,one person just gets less fucked up.

</psa>

Feels great to live on the isle of Wight with no niggers or mudslimes

>>31571285
We'll send them over to fuck you over for your laziness and lack of duty, cuck.

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>>31568804

I say, why would you want to defend yourself? Why not just have your guards do it for you?

Tape kitchen knife to bottom of your bed and don't let anyone else know.

Intruder brought it with them.

A policeman gave me this advice.

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>>31568804

Just bend over and spread your cheeks mate, they're less likely to hurt you if you give em a hand and take the pants down for em.

>>31568926
That is pure fucking autism mate. You're the sort of mong that gets his FAC refused, and for good reason. Also would it kill you to run a hoover round your room now and then?

>>31568804
I don't need to defend myself because I don't live in an urban shithole surrounded by pakis and feral blacks.