Liberal Overreaction Thread: haven't seen one of these type

>>31537486
Please tell me you then brandished a butter knife in her direction.

>>31537541
Nah. I didn't do anything. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't wanna sound like a fucking weirdo.

>>31537486
>In my amazing campus coffee shop
>i see some nerd who looks like those school shooters pull out a kabar he had straps to his leg
>quietly ask my girlfriends "is that a knife?", but I don't think anything of it
>he starts eye raping me from across the room like a total creep
>i say "excuse me!"
>"sir!"
>finally puts away his knife cutting, and looks down
>my boyfriend tells him "you show that a knife in here again and ill shove it up your ass"
>he sperges out and yells "AM I BEING DETAINED!"
>I don't want to sound cringe, so I just say "just get out of here"
>he yells back "muh 2nd amendment! I'm going to email campus PD"
>finish my coffee and leave
>nothing ever happens

>>31537604
Kek

>>31537486
God I wish there was a version of the Juice with a decent wire stripper instead of the bottle opener.

>carry decent sized knife as my EDC
>does everything I need it to and it fits perfectly in my hands
>libs shit themselves every time I pull it out
>it's not even "big" its just not a little Swiss army knife with a 2" blade
>be me
>in boy scouts (no hate plz)
>responsible life scout aged 14
>teaching the new scouts about knife safety
>pull out knife
>tell them how to pass it to someone ect.
>hand it to kid to see if he was listening
>his libshit mom sees and runs over
>"what are you doing giving my son a knife like that?!"
>being a good boy i say "well ma'am I'm showing them how to handle them properly and safely"
>"I don't give a shit (she said this in front of a group of 10 year olds) my son is NOT going to use a KNIFE"
>that pissed me off
>"well ma'am then you should take him out of the troop, it's what we do and if you don't like it you can leave"
>she gets wide eyes at my disrespect
>she runs to the scoutmaster and tells him
>he looks at me, he knows her bitchiness
>tells her something and walks toward me, she looks back at me with a shit eating grin
>scoutmaster comes to me to talk to me
>he's fine with it, he thinks its funny but tells me that shes an adult and I'm not so I need to be respectful regardless of her attitude
>she leaves her kid in and doesn't say anything when I teach him to use a knife

If it wasn't for the fact that she wore daisy dukes and see through tank tops without a bra I would have been more of a dick to her, but fuck she was doing it on purpose and she had nice tits.

>>31537653
I know some people sharpen their bottle openers to an awl. I think I'd opt for a saw. They have them on the larger models, but not on the S2.

>>31537486
My girlfriend wouldn't let me dip my condoms in Hoppes before sex. Confirmed for libshit.

>>31537697
>condoms
>hoppes
>girlfriend

just fuck the hoppes you faggot, hoppes will never tell you to wear a condom so you can feel every inch of it, plus no nasty fish smell.

>>31537687
Saw would be fine too. I just don't get why there needs to be a bottle opener shitting up what would otherwise be a really great multi-tool as it is it's just pretty alright which is still good but not best.

>>31537732
Only the sweet smell of a well lubed firearm.

>>31537604
No greentext story is complete without one of these to accompany them.

>>31537653
>instead of a bottleopener
>not opening beers with your Juice S2
Step up senpai.

>>31537786
It doesn't even open beer great, desu.

>>31537670
I've read this story before. Maybe it was on here.

>>31537806
Mine does roody poo.

>Be ausfag.
>At work, on lunch break.
>Have an orange today, so I pull out my Spyderco Ladybug with a whopping 1" blade and cut it up.
>Immediately accosted by admin bitch "Why do you have a knife?".
>I'm literally halfway through cutting my orange and she's asking me why I need a knife.
>Tell her to go fuck herself.
Feels good being ops management.

Or, my personal favourite:
>Hey anon, can I borrow your knife for "insert daily activity here".
>Sure.
>They return five minutes later, hand me the knife, then ask me why I carry a knife.

>>31537653
>>31537687
>>31537733
its a fucking can opener lol

>>31538690
I mean, it's funny but it kinda makes me rage that they ask you to borrow it. Those are the same people who talk behind your fucking back about you carrying a knife.

Like a couple of liberal """friends"""" I have. They always ask me to take them shooting, to let them shoot my funs. But I'll get into a political argument with them and they'll say shit like "better not make you mad! You carry a gun!"

>>31537602
good job hiding your powerlevel

>>31537758
hoppe's aint lube, son

Also, how are you supposed to enjoy the smell of it if you're hiding your hoppe's wand inside her. Clearly you needed to apply it to your bed.

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>>31538996
>hoppes ain't lube

>>31538690
>grow up being raised with a firm belief there is a tool for every job
>having access to those tools is important
>carry assortment of stuff on me for all sorts
>"Anon do you have a nail clipper?"
>Yep, right here
>"Anon do have a tweezers?"
>Yep, right here
>"Anon do you have a bottle opener?"
>Sure thing, right on my-
>"OMG IS THAT A KNIFE?"
>Sure is, and with 14 other functions
>"You just didn't strike me as someone to carry a weapon..."
>Well, you never know when you might need it.
>neglect to tell them about my ccw and collapsible baton

>>31537486
>be me
>Asians getting attacked all the time in my city bc we're apparently all rich.
>decide I need protection bc my college classes finish after dark
>buy a big fucking CRKT folding tactical knife
>normie tier classmates see it.
>overreaction.jpeg
>try to report me to the uni
>liberal ass faggots can't do shit bc it's legal length and of sentimental value
Kek at least I won't be the one getting mugged by some fucking sea nig nog late at night

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Reminds me of something that happened with the new guy at my work:

>Be at work in an office
>new, rotund colleague is having trouble opening a package
>pull out Spyderco bug and go to hand it to him
>he sees the knife
>he begins to tremble
>his face sinks into a sort of abject terror
>his mouth stretches open like he is attempting to swallow an entire watermelon whole
>his eyes begin to bulge out of his head like grapes that are being squeezed between a man's fingers
>a large vein appears to swell underneath his forehead's skin
>it pulsates with extreme speed
>he falls to the floor, with foaming saliva running from his mouth and onto the ground
>he convulses erratically, gradually intensifying in speed until he is slamming every appendage into the ground and everything around it
>head snaps backwards with the sound of a bag of chips being crushed
>all movement stops entirely
>his mouth begins to open and close, attempting to form words
>I lean in to hear him
>he is whispering too quietly to hear him
>get even closer, with my ear only inches from his mouth
>"Why do you need that?"

>>31537486

I'm assuming she's not in the arts or culinary departments then. Or sciences

>>31539111

pull the "we're victims of hate crimes, and we're just responding like the Black Panthers did in the 60's" card.

also move out of Sac.

>>31539385
I don't live in the states FYI, I'd be ccw instead of carrying a knife if I was

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>>31537486
>on vacation with girlfriend
>she buys a little wooden crossbow, that shoots marshmallows
>packs it in her carry on
>tsa finds it, and flips out
>explain that it's a toy, show him the pamphlet
>tells me my girlfriend is and idiot, but lets it through

another time they confiscated a pair of pliers that I had in my backpack. Like what am I going to do with pliers? They were pic related, not even needle nose.

>>31539084
Where do you live that telescopic batons are legal for open/conceal carry?

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Don't you guys have any stories of encounters with genuinely cool people or co-workers who complemented you on your carry shit?

>>31539556
If I were a TSA guard I'd associate pliers with bombs too.

Although that might be years of playing counter strike that's done that

Was browsing the theakforum back in the day in the campus library at U of A, Little Rock. Went to the restroom and then back to the computer station.

Few minutes later felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a campus cop. He led me into the hallway and asked me if I had a rifle? I told him no. Turns out the libcunt in the computer lab saw the ak forum logo and called the fucking cops.

Finally showed the cop that I was just browsing a firearms related web forum. He was totally cool about it and bitched out the comp lab lady for harassing me like that.

>>31539905
shit dude, you still in AR?

>>31539601
Not same person but
...are they not legal in america?

>>31539961
There's laws in most states against it, more practical and acceptable to carry a gun anyway.

As cool as they are they're approaching mall cop gear tier in terms of effectiveness in a confrontation and the law'll chew your ass out for using one against someone.

Use a gun, kill the asshole, dead man tell no tale.

>>31539556
>>tells me my girlfriend is and idiot, but lets it through
kek

>>31537786
>not opening your beers with a saber

>>31537486
I carry a 6" tanto sog, because it works crazy well as absolutely anything.
Screwdriver, seatbelt cutter, box opener, I use it all the time to open those hard plastic boxes that sandwiches sometimes come in.
I like to carry an actual knife on me because sometimes you have to do big boy shit, like open a can, or cut firewood, or chop up wire. Plus I'm pretty sure sog made the thing out of freaking adamantium or some shit.

I have literally no stories.
I don't know where the hell you people are living, but please tell me so I can stay as far away as possible.

>>31537732
Would you rather your dick smell like...

>mouldy stank fish

-or-

>banana bio-diesel


Is this even a real choice?

>>31540292
This anon lives in New Zealand

>be in the 3rd grade
>play all day in an arcade to get enough tickets to buy a little pen-shaped screwdriver set with multiple heads
>take it to school
>recess
>decide to make a sand turtle
>mound up the sand then take out the screwdriver and start using the varied screwdriver tips to artfully sculpt designs into the turtle
>about half way through my turtle playground monitor jackboot lady sees me and confiscates my screwdriver set
>tries to put the cap on not realizing you need to take the screwdriver tip out of the holder before the cap will fit
>mom had to go get it after school

I was extremely displeased. I can only imagine how shit things must be for people in school after columbine turned them into miniature prisons.

>be me
>mechanic
>get some parts in for a job I'm working on
>fuckers taped it shut tighter than the girls /b/ dreams about
>reach into pocket and pull out box cutter
>literally an inch long blade, uses those replaceable razor things
>the secretary who brought me the parts looks nervous as fuck
>"why do you have that?"
>eyes bugging out of her fucking head at this point
>"look around you"
>acetylene torch, MIG welder, angle grinder, plasma cutter, and a diesel engine hanging from a chain all with in 30 feet of us
>point these things out
>"and you're worried about a one inch knife?"
>she looks pissed off and storms back to the office
>bitch didn't have steel toes anyway
>continue working
>she doesn't talk to me anymore

>>31540319
>>31537732
If your girlfriend makes your dick stink she needs to fucking bathe more.

>>31539252
underrated

>be me
>carrying in walmart
>liberal soccer mom comes up to me
>she starts yelling at me and calls the cops
>cop arrests her for wasting our time
>he becomes my range buddy
reminds me of another story
>in a range
>fudd comes in, open carrying 1911
>he starts arguing about the how good 45s are
>he starts shooting at the target and misses every time
also
>be me
>in gun shop
>guy asks to see an colt single action army
>he flips the cylinder open
another pretty good one
>black guy comes into gun store
>he asks for a hi point
one more
>be shopping
>nigger comes into store
>he starts shooting people
>i shoot him
>i saved the day with my glock

>>31540431
not anymore, retard.

>>31540331
No, Wisconsin.

>>31540411
This. Some of the girls ive fucked (one in particular) had god tier pheromones coming from down there

>>31537604
triple kek

>>31540550
those are some good stories my main man

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>>31540550

>He flips the cylinder open
>Colt SAA

>>31540817

Not him, but I believe that was the point.

>>31539641
>work fast food
>get asked 1000 timed a day for knife
>can't find multiple clasp knife
>leave em all over
>later for work
>eh fuck it straps ak47 bayonete to belt
>it can cut a fucking box
>gets asked for knife multiple times
>gets complemented a couple times
>every one asks why the big one
>explain couldn't find clasp owned
>every one cool as fuck about it.

Multiple instances out running errands:
>wearing any of my folding knives, pocket clip obviously
>hey, you!
>why do you have a concealed knife?
>you can't do that!
>"if you can tell I have it, it's not very concealed now is it?"
>liberal blood pressure rises

Fudd clerk at cableas:
>looking at a few assisted knives (Michigan- autos/otf are illegal, but assisted knives are ok- makes total sense, I know)
>knife counter guy
>"yeah, it's a nice knife, I can let you see it, but you have to be law enforcement to buy it."
>uhh, why?
>"well not just anybody can buy something like this, it opens lighting fast."
>show my sog mini aegis
>"I wouldn't go waving that around unless you wanna get arrested."

>>31540431
Underrated is a meme

>>31537486
>be me
>constantly doing questionable and retarded shit with weapons in public
>no one ever approaches me because i look like a threat
seriously how much of a beta faggot do you have to be for some sugar titted blonde to chastise you for cutting paper? i cringe at every liberal green text; cringe at the kind of limp wristed "male" who has these kind of encounters and doesnt immediately just laugh in their face. if people are confident enough to approach you while you're armed to question you about it, you need to hit the gym more. does "command presence" mean nothing to you faggots?

>>31541151
don't worry at least 3/4 of these stories are just that, stories.

>>31539601
FL here and I keep a collapsing baton in my car door and as far as I know they are perfectly legal to carry

>>31541169
and i get that. >>31539252 is solid 8/10 chuckle
but all the gun-grabber green texts are supposed to incite reaction about the fat libtard kike soccermoms. and instead im always raging at "what kind of man lets that situation unfold"
>>31540397 is the only semi-believable one

>>31541239
I do believe some of these after some Arab exchange student female gave me the "why do you have that" for a fucking bog-standard Swiss Army Knife that I was in the process of cutting an apple with. I just took a pointed bite of my apple in response. It was a Honeycrisp, and suitably delicious.

>she never realized I had a 9mm IWB the whole time

>>31539641
You run into that in a lot of small towns like mine, though my co-workers think I buy too many guns.

>go to woods for waterfall hike with the wife
>Fucktons of people I didn't expect
>Normally carry my WASR
>I'll be damned if I leave it in the car
>Do the hike
>Cool waterfalls
>Yellowjackets ruin picnic lunch
>Old geezer tells me "that'd better be a pellet gun"
>Ishygddt.gif
>Kids always stop and look the WASR over on our way back
>Parents real supporting of their curiosity

All in all it was a good experience. Next time I may try to get there earlier.

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>>31541111
Checked

>>31539601
Every state that isn't cucked.

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>>31537486
>in Florida for Thanksgiving
>staying at hotel by myself
>mom, dad, and a few other invited themselves to go to the pool and dinner
>cleaning my carry gun (M&P 9C), already had plans to go to the range with my cousins the next day
>everyone sits down, gun is field stripped on a spare cloth
>I sit on the bed, mom and dad sits on the futon, aunt sits on the chair next to the futon
>mom is closest to the desk where my handgun is
>apparently since I left, she became a SJW, she mentioned "mansplaining" and "manspreading" a couple times but they almost sounded in a joking manner
>as we're talking about what we're going to go, discussing where to eat she keeps looking over at my gun
>stops talking entirely, her eyes are locked on the gun now
>asks me "Anon, why do you have that?"
>"To go shooting"
>"What the fuck are you going to go shoot? Kids? Why the fuck would you have that?"
>"Paper targets, sometimes bottles, that sort of shit"
"Why do you have that?"
>dad interrupts and says that I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions
>"No, that's unacceptable. I'm not going to dinner unless he ditches that thing."
>dad asks why would I do such a thing
>"I won't carry it to dinner..."
>"YOU CARRY THAT THING AROUND? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU AFRAID OF?"
>just look at her shocked
>"I'm not going to dinner with him, not now, not ever. This is unacceptable. You better be fucking glad I'm not chucking every bit of that piece of shit weapon out the window right now. Fuck you, asshole. Piece of shit."
>she gets up, stomps to the door and looks at dad whose still sitting there
>"Are you coming with me or not?"
>dad sighs and waddles towards her
>end up going to dinner with my aunt, and one of my cousins came for dessert/drinks
>carried my gun anyways
>mom hasn't spoken to me since, even during the whole duration of the week I was there
>dad stopped answering my calls about 2 months ago

>>31540550
>i saved the day with my glock
That's when we realize your made up the whole thing

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>>31541909
>your dad

>>31538968
i lol'd

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>>31541909
god damn that is sad as fuck

I had one of the moms in my daughters GS troop sperg out on me.
Then four of the other moms were like "oh good you have a knife", "can I borrow it?"
That shut her down real quick.

She asked my wife another day why I carry a knife.
She was like "so he can cut stuff!"

>be working and going to school for EMT
>job is mission control analyst by name, big brother for a call center by action
>literally hidden away from all other agents
>EMT uniform has a pair of trauma shears strapped to a leg pocket
>wear uniform because class is immediately after shift
>management complained about the shears as dangerous weapons
>say they personally don't give a shit but agents were concerned
>now forced to find extra time to change into uniform before class

Cunts, all of them.

I got reported at work for carrying a knife. My boss pulled me aside and 'look anon, this is a waste of my time but anonette complained about you carrying a knife and said that she feels threatened. Shes a weak bitch so don't worry.'

I make it an effort to use it in front of her knowing the boss is on my side. Always fun to watch her face melt.

>>31541182
In florida the CCL covers all concealed weapons, including knives (over 3.5", under 3.5" is considered a tool and not regulated as a weapon) and batons. If you don't have a CCL then you are probably violating the law.

>>31540368
It's gotten pretty bad.
We were warned about plastic knives in our kids lunches.

>>31540160
>tfw glad I live in a red state where when someone (attempts to) rob you and they're taken away in a stretcher the police just stand around backslapping and giggling with you, and tell you to stick around town for a week
>then nothing happens

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>>31542017
>"so he can cut stuff!"
So you can cut up children I bet

>>31542017
In a country where cheap Chinese packaging is a reality, why wouldn't you carry some kind of bladed instrument.
>I find use for mine at least once a week.
>most of which isn't a weapon, but if there's some big motherfucker standing on my neck god wills me to use it on his ankle and arm, and face, and wherever my reckless slashing/stabbing/sperging wills him to be bleeding from.

>>31542051
I graduated a couple of years ago
By that time you were not allowed to bring baked goods or "complex leftovers" like spaghetti, stews and stuff like that. You would be sent to ISS for it if you brought anything other than a sandwich. Don't even want to know how bad the school lunch was. 3.25 for crap food. 4.25+ if you wanted more than the scraps they give you. That adds up considering you have to eat there every fucking day.

>>31542059
That must be what's she's thinking.

"THE CHILLuns!!!"

She lost her shit on FB when my wife posted pics of my kids shooting their bb gun.

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tfw a few weeks before 9/11 it was my turn for show and tell 1st grade
>totally forgot I got the show and tell bag, was waiting for this moment for what seemed like an eternity, they drew out of a hat, some fuck got it like 3 times
>I never got picked
>the morning of - I forgot the night before
>mom is in a rush to get me to school on time
>remember her friend got me a deactivated grenade from the gun show
>"mom can I bring this" as it was sitting on the coffee table as a paperweight because she thought it was fucking cool too
>get to school with a grenade in my bag
>teacher asks what I brought for show and tell with super serious look on her face
> my 7 year old self smiles because I had a way fucking cooler show and tell than anyone else fucking ever "A grenade" I said
>fucking lol
>teacher gets the bag and whisks it away out the door
>turns out my mom called like oshit that's probably not school appropriate and has the principal get it
>principal was, as I know now from memories a total republican gun loving gay hating christian lady, although we were afraid of her, I can tell you now she was based as fuck and pretty cool raifuwaifu material.
>knew I was a future badass USAF intelligence analyst and my grades were awesome, never did any wrong stuff/wasn't trouble maker and loved 'Merica
>gets the grenade from the teacher
>halfassedly scares the shit out of me says "that's not school apporpriate, don't bring weapons bro."
mfw

>>31542112
>"what'd you bring to show and tell today, anon?
>"A GRENADE"

/k/, a magical place.

>>31542069
how does this even make fucking sense
its fucking food
or is this some healthy eating initiative bullshit?

>>31542025
THEY ARE FUCKING SCISSORS
JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO OUR KIDS
WHEN DID IT EVEN START

>>31542158
Some sort of biohazard shit? Or drugs?

I put coke on top of a brownie like powdered sugar before I realized you could just carry drugs into school and nobody gave a shit, then subsequentially realizing that bringing drugs to school in the first place was retarded.

Highschool was an interesting time.

>>31542209
sounds like some corporate shillary shit.
>bring own lunch
>no you have to buy ours or we'll come up with a retarded reason to punish you under the guise of something else unless you bring something else that will leave you still hungry like ours does
Also the only kids that got caught were the ones who brought weed, the kids bringing pills and coke etc didn't get caught because they could either snort, swallow it before anyone knew they had it.

>>31542164
They also have an anti-stabbing tip.

Not like it makes a difference....

>>31541909
If your mother, your blood biological mother who carried you to term and raised you since you were literally shitting in diapers and throughout your horrible teen years, if she is willing to just abandon you because she doesn't trust her own fucking son and would rather be brainwashed by liberal thoughts, then let her be an idiot until she contacts YOU.
Love her, and welcome her back if she turns around, but don't fucking crawl back to her because she just fucking indicated that she is so fucking shallow that she would sever ties with her own son over this shit.

>Be at work a good Christmas ago.
>Getting ready to go outside and sell Christmas trees to people because fuck it, they give me free hot chocolate for standing around for the day listening to shit music.
>Feel a tug on my jacket arm, it's a customer.
>She points at a pair of guys walking around the isles inside the store.
>"I think those two are up to no good."
>I know they are our security team and try to explain it to her as casually as I can, being out of uniform, in a thick jacket and in a heated store I want out of this situation.
>'Ma'am, they work for the store, they are loss prevention officers, and I do appreciate how observant you are, you are just making their job harder.'
>"Does that mean they have...weapons?"
>'Ma'am, with all due respect, I currently have three knives, and a 12 inch saw on me at this current moment.'
>'And those two guys, they trust me enough to ask me to "help" shoplifters back into the store to get handed over to the police.'
>"Well that seems excessive."
>'It's why that sheet set is on sale.'

She complained to my boss about that quip...

>>31542228
If you run fast enough with them who knows what kind of bruise you could cause!!!!

>>31542259
I know that comment is made in jest, but goddamn it makes me want to find a way to repeal all the Nanny-state level laws and anti-idiocy shit, remove almost all the warning labels, and let the problems sort themselves out.

Seriously, just Google stupid or bizarre warning labels, then realize that the reason they even have to mention that stupid shit that should seem obvious is because some moron(s) made that retarded idea a reality.

>>31542066
I carried a 2.5" folding knife though high school and still do everyday

9/10 days I find a use for it

>>31542283
I was never aware that a costume cape could not enable me flight powers.
Do you think they sell actual capes that allow flight powers?

>>31537732
Be me
>just fuck the hoppes
>have an empty bottle, with the wide mouth, still has that smell.
Ok why not.
>my dick wont fit in.
For ever alone

>>31542227
We used to just get water bottles full of cheap wine

Fucken high class right here mate

>Fuel attendant.
>Boss wants to talk over work schedule.
>Half awake, we exit the kiosk and enter the world of the outdoors.
>Door closes behind us.
>Realize I did not bring the keys with me as soon as I hear the door latch.
>Boss realizes this too.
>We kind of stand there for a second.
>"Sir, I am about to do something stupid, right in front of you."
>Proceed to break into the secured door with my pocket knife that according to store rules, I should not have on me,
>Breached the door in 30 seconds.
'I didn't see a thing...'

>>31539641
Be me
>go to job interview.
>1 hr interview turns in to 2 hours
>30 min in we are talking about golf, duck hunting and deer season that just opened.
>show 8 pointer i took with my AR15 300blk
"Why did you use an ar15? Annon?"
>" people say the ar15 in 300blk is the modern day .30-30, and I wanted to test that assertion . If we only stick to the old conventions and never look forward to new ideas we stagnate. Stagnation is counter productive in business or in the field. We no longer hunt dressed in flannel and chinos, we no longer use folded maps and guesses as to where the deer are. No we dress in sent free high performance fabrics, use gps and field cameras, why should we keep using a firearm and cartrage that are 100 years old? Looking at an established task and seeing how we can improveit to gain the best advantage open to us , is why this company needs me.
>got the job on the spot from the owner (4 others were to interview that day, one manager left and just started calling them to cancle their interviews)
>i golf with my bosses evry friday afternoon
>me, owner, and vp all have opening day off, and go hunt together. This year we are going to my family's land in northern missouri.

If only the owner had a hot daughter.

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>>31541909
>You better be fucking glad I'm not chucking every bit of that piece of shit weapon out the window right now

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>>31537486
>be me
>drive car back from campsite
>esee 4 on my belt (legal over here)
>its 2am and i am on the AUTOBAHN
>130kmh.gif
>germany.jpg
>big van behind me
>flashing red light "STOP POLIZEI"
>its da police
>pull into motorway station and stop car
>5 police officers approaching
>lower window
>"good evening sir, generic traffic stop. please hand me your papers"
>may i step out of my vehicle ? because my huge ass wallet is in my pocket and i cant get it out sitting down.
>"sure"
>gettingOutOfCar.jpg
>handingPapers.png
>"are you under the influence? have you recently taken any drugs ?"
>nope.jpg
>"is this your vehicle" ?
>sure, i just handed you the papers
>"we will check that"
>"mind if we do a breathcheck for alcohol ?"
>doIt.ppt
>"ok, please sit down in our van. do you have any kind of object on you that could harm us?"
>i carry a knife on my belt, sir
>notice how the youngest officer behind me places his hand on his gun
>"please place it on the car roof slowly", he is sounding very nervous
>detach the sheath from my belt and do as i am told
>notice how two police officers have drawn their guns, pointing them at the ground.
>Hand-to-hand-combat-instructor-mode kicks in and i want to say: if you expect me to rush you with that knife, you better point that gun at me, because the time you would need to aim and fire would be enough for an attacker to cause some serious injury.
say: whats the problem officer ? instead
>he is visibly shaking
>"sir you are carrying a fixed blade knife, thats illegal"
>isThisFuckingUK.pptx
>no it isnt
>they handcuff me and i have to sit in the van.
>driving to the station.
>they call a doctor to draw some blood and test me for drugs
>have to wait in a holding cell
>hours pass
>not much to do
>another guy gets locked up in the cell next to mine.
>he is a druck college professor
>we start recite GOETHE and SCHILLER as loud as we can, two german poets much better than shakespear.
>our chants are echoing through the basement
cont

>>31542303
Gotta love a lunch time fruity lexia

>>31542471
>hours pass
>doctor arrives
>cute 9/10 lady
>we joke around, she asked what i did
>i tell her the story
>she looks shocked
>"but mr. anon, that isnt illegal. my son is a cubscout and i recently bought him a mora myself"
>tell them, i point at the officer next to her
>she looks at them and asks if they have called her because i walk around with a fixed blade
>they point at the box with my stuff on the other end of the room.
>my knife is visible through the transparent plastic box
>"do you know that carrying a fixed blade is legal as long as the blade does not exceed 12cm ? and even if the blade is longer, its just a minor offense and no reason for arresting someone, handcuff them and force them into a drug test.
>she pulls out a measuring tape and her smartphone.
>she opens google,shows the officer some paragraphs and hands him the measuring tape.
>the officer seems annoyed goes to my box and measures to blade length
>once, then a second time, shakes his head, measures again
>goes out of the room and takes to cute doc with him.
>i hear murmuring
>minutes pass
>an older officer i havent seen before enters the room. he looks like an ex-soldier
>apologizes and takes my cuffs of
>"a misunderstanding, incompetent officers, should not have happend, we will call you a cab and pay for it, you are free to take your stuff and go. have a good night sir
>grab my stuff.
>cute doc hands me her number
>while waiting for the cab i hear the old guy ranting: YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, HAVENT YOUR LEARNED SHIT IN BASIC TRAINING. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?
UNLAWFULL DETENTION, DEPRIVATION OF LIBERTY, DRAWING BLOOD WITHOUT A REASON IS ASSAULT. HE COULD PRESS CHARGES AGAINST YOU AND THE DOCTOR.
IF HE DECEIDES TO CONTACT THE BEREAU OF SUPERVISION YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR JOB.
I AM GOING TO SEND YOU BACK TO JOB TRAINING IF THAT EVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO THAT GUY
this goes on an and no
>they get out and apologize
>i get in the cab
>new story to tell at the bar

>>31542546
Is this the german version of range buddies and an oz of weed?

>>31542554
Yes.
What he left out was the last where he now performs on GGG with the doctor.

>>31542554
I haven't heard that one.

You have a screen cap?

>>31542546
How incompetent can german police possibly be?

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>working as delivery guy
>carry fixed blade knife on belt
>deliver paket to soccermom house
> freaks out and calls cops
>"you cant carry a concealed knife"
>sir that isnt concealed its on my belt
>"ARE YOU TALKING BACK"
>next time i carried a huge gertel on my back
>she calls the cops again
>they cant do shit, because its a gardening tool by law and oviously not concealed.
>i love my job

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>>31537486

>in first grade
>get the smallest swiss army knife ever made from my mom
>It's on a keychain
>have it stowed in the front pocket of my backpack
>Some little bitch faggot is digging through my backpack for no reason
>He tells the teacher he found a knife
>have to pick it up from the principal's office with a parent

>>31541715
Anon now I don't want to be the "you don't need" guy, but you really don't need a WASR for a normal hike in the woods with your wife. It's just added weight.

Carry something smaller if you think niggers are going to mug you into the woods? (like that is going to happen)
And don't play the wild animals card, it's just not going to happen in a busy path. Carry a camera, that's a more useful weight on you.

>>31538690

>pretending you need a knife to peel an orange

do you not have thumbs

>>31539601
I carry one, I'm in IN.

>>31542243
>horrible teen years
You mention that, but I never had those. I was never a piss-poor driver, I never became rebellious, I disagreed with her a lot but we had mutual respect for one-another.

Until I went off to college, and later to take care of my dying grandmother. She went full-SJW while my grandma was dying, but I didn't see the writing on the wall until last year.

I don't hate her, I hope that she's just going through a phase and starts acting like an adult soon. I still love her for all the wonderful things she did for me. I try calling every week, but she never answers. She's active on her Facebook and Tumblr, and on occasion I'll see a passive-aggressive post directed at me. I just hope she snaps out of it, I want my mother back. I've spoken with family members close to her relaying this, and I hope it eats at her.

>>31542568
>on GGG with the doctor
I kek'd at the idea
"his knife was below 12cm, but he had something else that was very illegal on him"

>>31537604
>sitting the campus coffee shop
>I come here because the only other place nearby is Starbucks
>enjoying my latte
>mmmvanilla.pdf
>some blonde chick is fussing over something
>take another sip
>fuck this is amazing
>she's getting louder
>some bullshit about a knife
>mmmmmmm
>so warm
>so tasty
>some guy puts a leatherman in his pocket
>holy fuck this angelic semen tastes so right
>blonde sits across from me
>"won't even tell campus pd lol"
>"I know, right"
>go to the bathroom and fuck my coffee
>mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

>>31539641
>Ausfag
>Cash in transit security officer
>Carry my folding knife everywhere when I don't have my handgun on me (so when I'm not working)
>Shopping with my GF
>Lock eyes with a cop
>She walks up to me and asks what I have in my pocket (you can clearly see the metal clip on the knife that holds it in place)
>Tell her its my tool I use in everyday situations every day
>She asks to see it
>Tell her no
>She starts spouting some shit about having a weapon
>Her partner comes over
>We know each other
>He's actually eating fucking doughnut from Donut king
>He asks whats up
>Female cop says I may be concealing a weapon
>He laughs asks to see it
>Hand it to him while talking shit
>He cant figure out how to close it (side push clip)
>Close it for him
>Tells me he needs one like that
>Offers me a doughnut tells me to have a good day and they left

This is why you make friends with cops.

>>31541024
More like
>wearing 5 dollar flashlight, pocket clip obviously
>hey, you!
>why do you have a concealed knife?
>you can't do that!
>"it's a flashlight"
>liberal blood pressure rises

>>31541293
She's upset that her bomb belt might not go off so easily, with you armed and ready.

>raised in california, dad was a boyscout back in thr day but never really taught me about knives
>always wanted one
>go to uni in rural indiana, every male here has and carries a knife
>get a sweet benchnade with my first serious paycheck
>all smiles

I may move to Alabama for work, specifically Huntsville. Can anybody speak on the culture there surrounding this kind of thing?

>>31542714
The fuck?

>>31541909
Just tell her that your gun saved you after an attempted rape.

Nothing gets people more confused about guns than a person with guns that they love that almost got hurt/killed without them

Remember, it's not a lie if it fixes everything.

>>31542804
I'm from IN but my sister went to Hunstville for sports. Lots of Dindus, but they're different down there. Usually polite and open doors for people and stuff. No underwear showing, etc.

>>31542066
If you got a boot on your neck, you probably need self defense training and a pistol.

>>31542112
Unfunny things that didn't happen for ten rubles, Vladimir

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>>31542624
>you can't have a concealed knife
>clearly you are not concealing it by wearing it on a belt
every time

>>31542681
Sure you can peel one without a knife. It's just nice to not get peel all over your hands.

>>31542714
did you become range buddies with the cop?

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>>31538947
This just made me think of something

Having a gun is pretty much physical proof you are not a felon or convicted of domestic violence.

How do us evil gun owners turn that on the nogunz regressives?
>better not make u mad you've got a gun lol
>3 weeks later cutaway.jpg
>hey anon can you take us shooting
>I don't know my manbun sporting friend, are you a felon?
>WHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAT?!
>I can't let a felon shoot my guns. since you don't own guns, I don't know whether or not you're a felon. For all I know you beat your commonwealth married homosexual life partner nightly and can't buy a gun, which is why you want to shoot mine. If you owned a gun, I'd be more than happy to let you shoot mine but until then...
>intense liberal REEEing.jpg
>honestly the fact that you're so defensive about this make me think you're a felon or something

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>>31542823
Yeah I figured since its the south and all, nice to hear though, thanks.

>>31542681
>Peeling orange and getting covered in juice.
>Cutting orange into neat slices.
I know which one I'm choosing.

>>31540550
Thanks for shortening up the whole thread for me. Now I won't need to read anymore posts.

>>31542676
>don't need WASR
>what is """fun"""

>>31537486
I'm calling bullshit on this. When I was in school, you could ask for a knife and EVERYONE would reach for their pocket.

>>31540869
> Manager not scolding you for forgetting your rifle at home

I used to work fast food and I would get a serious verbal beat down by my boss if I ever forgot my AK47 at home. Every employee was expected to carry a minimum of 1 semi/fully automatic long gun with them at all times. Some Dindus tried to rob us once so we used that as an opportunity to paint the store a delightful "waz Kangz Red".

>>31542721
Fellow ausfag here, had a similar situation but was not friends with the cops.
The cop pulled my PM2 out of my pocket and then promptly returned it when I used the magic words: "Genuine Reason."

Cops here know that it's not worth fucking with people who know the law, and literally anything stands up in court as "Genuine Reason".

>>31542930
depends on where you're located, mate.

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>>31542069
>complex leftovers

>>31542714
Keked hard.

>>31539252
Nah mate that was just the neuro toxin the hr department has been testing out to improve employe moral.

>>31542622
Let's find out in a grand jury trial in Nuremburg.

>>31541182
>>31542038
As long as it stays in the car, you don't have to have a CWL for it in FL. You only have to have a CWL if you carry it on your person.

>>31542676
But how else would he defend against skinwalkers?

>>31542296
Are you me? But mines a 4 inch crkt

>in Virginia
>open carrying Glock 19 in a Waffle House
>as I have been all weekend
>waiter with a funny accent asks if it's real
That's pretty much it

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>>31540550

>>31542681
Then you need a knife to get the peel from under your nails.

>>31542158
>or is this some healthy eating initiative bullshit?
Only thing that makes sense. The school wants to be able to easily identify and quantify all the contents of the lunch to make sure it meets Michelle Obama's requirements.
>what's dumber than when you have to do what your boss's wife tells you to do?
>when your kids have to do what the president's wife tells them to do

>>31537486
Kinda relevant I guess.
Not my story, but a friend of mine who does Lara Croft cosplaying.
>Lara Croft cosplayer
>Lives in UK
>order Lara's USP airsoft/plastic replicas
>has to import them
>gets notice that her items have been seized
>currently facing charges for importing firearms without a permit
>can be fined or get criminal record for it.
>has to go to court to settle it

How the fuck can your country be this cucked?

>>31542066
Not a good idea going for non lethal strikes as there are laws to protect criminals now, just kill them.

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>>31542714
i like this

>>31540550
>/k/ stories collection vol. 1

Another Kraut story:

>I'm a german forester with an emegency phone number for road accidents and things like that
>For insurance reason most people call the cops first when they crash into an animal
>Cops often call the local hunter who in this case was me
>Get a call from the cops at night to come and kill a wounded deer
>Get up, grab flashlight, .357 revolver and some bullets
>Arrive at crash site with the revolver unloaded in my jacket
>Deer lies in the trench already bleeding from the nose and mouth but still alive
>Go close and shoot it in the head
>Clean shot, no mess
>Have the cops and the driver help me to wind it on my trailer
>Forgot the documents for the insurance company so I drive to the police station with them to sign them there
>Go to the bureau, tell them what happens and get the paper
>Sit down to fill them in
>Revolver bulges
>"Is that a gun?"
>"Sure, that's the gun I just shot the deer with."

They tried to charge me for carrying a gun in public (which I'm allowed to on duty) and transporting a gun without a case (which is allowed since a few years) later.
They also wanted to seize the gun but I told them that handling it to them for no reason would be illegal and the two cops from the crash site agreed so I left after filling in the last form while they were discussing.

>>31539641
>be me 2014
>17 years old
>first job was building bikes at the local bike shop
>nearly daily my boss would call me into his office to show me a different gun
>he had two enormous gun safes in his office

It was a good job

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>be up stupid early for jury duty
>scrub self of weapons
>spend 2 hours in traffic
>spend 5 minutes stripping at security
>pass through metal detector
>beep beep
>get wanted, beep beep
>remove keys
>mini sak
>security guy glares at me
>'whoops?'
>beep beep, pocket knife
>pic related
>ankles beep
>'dude... idk...'
>pull up pant legs
>envision ankle holsters, boot knives, missile launcher, anthrax
>only tactical boots
>better than expected

Beats the time before when the just let me through like that

>>31542872
That's pretty profound to think about anon

>>31543191
Airshitter here

Could be that they were over the energy restrictions? In the Republic of Ireland for example we get maximum one joule.

Also you have the twotone shit laws too.

tfw will never own a handgun and I need to find a way to qualify to buy a long gun, I want a damn SMLE

>>31542714
>be me
>be latte
>some dude bought me
>this'd be alright if he didn't make weird sounds while he drank
>sip
>"mmmmmmm"
>i shudder
>this is molestation
>mmmmmm
>every time
>mutters something about cum
>fucking faggot
>dumb blonde comes over and says something about the cops
>fuck yes please arrest this man
>"i know, right?"
>takes me into the bathroom
>sticks his cock into me

>>31537486
>be in uni 2010ish
>Environmental Engineering program (water purification, septic treatment, oil cleanup, etc)
>one prof is a genius, but spacy AF
>top of the world in biological treatment of chemicals
>be in a few years, hippies all drop out
>remaining class is 1/3 campus libs, 1/3 normies, 1/3 rednecks
>libs are astounded rednecks care about environment
>>"Gotta hunt somewhere"
>7/10 woodsgirl (9/10 personality) becomes captain of the uni archery team
>space prof learns she shoots with a compound bow
>goes up to her in front of a group one day
>Hey anon, I heard you shoot one of those bows people kill deer with!
>Guess I better not make you mad, huh?
>even the libs cringe

>>31540160
Wrong. They're legal almost everywhere for open carry.

>>31540550
/thread

>>31539084
Don't share nail clippers you fool.

>>31542908
>using guns as toys for attention grabbing
yes let's worsen the bad image the gun community already has, it's not like it is already ruining it for everyone.

>be Inna highschool around 2008
>Virginia Tech just happened and mufuckas is paranoid
>also some mexican kids stabbed each other behind the school after hours so the school institutes a zero tolerance weapon policy
>they heavily emphasized that this included pocket knives since literally everyone carried one
>idgaf I'm 3edgy5u and carry my trapper anyway
>in life skills class (rebranded home economics)
>were making dream catchers or something using yarn
>teacher only had 2 pairs of scissors to go around the entire 30 person classroom
>get bored of waiting, start marking my yarn and cutting it with knife under the table
>after about 10 minutes the teacher walks by and without looking at me mumbles "if the door opens you better hide that"
>based home ec teacher
>later that year my bro is suspended for an entire semester because he got caught using a knife to cut his finger nails

I don't have any exciting stories. Living in oklahoma nobody really gives a fuck

>>31543272
holy shit that is so retarded
I'm officially triggered

>>31542960
Nice

>>31543605
>early 2000's
>elementary school
>kid gets expelled for having a knife
>key chain sized swiss army knife
>zero tolerance at work.jpg

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Hello /k/, I'll share one with you.

>be me
>back when I was a freshman in high school
>have a 3.5 inch spring assisted kershaw folder clipped into my pocket
>was clipped there from last night, tossed jeans on in a hurry that morning, didn't even notice
>get to school, sitting in the morning waiting for classes to start
>someone notices
>I didn't know this until later
>get to large classroom, 40+ kids, to take a final exam
>sit at the back of the class (This was a huge school by the way)
>Before the test could start, Dean walks the fuck in
>Eh, probably here for the degenerate blacks in front of me that always fuck shit up
>walks past them
>gets towards back
>only one left
>gets to me
>says "I need you to pack up everything you have right now, and come with me immediately."
>uwotm8.gif
>comply
>get outside the classroom.
>asks me "Do you have anything on you that you're not supposed to have?"
>by this point realize I have the knife
>calmly admit it knowing that he'd find out either way by now and lying wasn't gonna help me any
>he takes the knife and escorts me to the security office
>multiple men in the room
>full body search.tiff
>empty my entire fucking backpack like a motherfucker, checking every single inch
>tell me I'm in big shit
>write up a report
>classify the knife as a "switchblade" I shit you not
>implying
>hand knife to officer guy (was the only bro, but couldn't help me because superiors)
>tell me I'm being suspended and forced to go to an "alternative school" for 3 months
>forced to sit in officer bro's office
>he calmly calls me father and tells him whats up
>father comes to school, pissed
>mother gets mad at him because I had a blade that he promised he wouldn't let me have to begin with
>begin turmoil
>parents are now getting divorced
>mother trying to steal every dollar my father has
>getting off topic
>getting back on topic now
>go to alternative school (aka prison school)
cont...

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>>31543687
>air port security tier before classes begin
>metal detectors, full body strip searches, the lot
>lots of people there
>mostly black
>literally 95% black
>a few mexicunts
>only white guy
>literally the ONLY white guy not even shitting you
>black girl grabs my ass later
>"MMm yeah I like them firm"
>what_have_I_gotten_myself_into.py
>endure this shit for a month and a half
>get out early on "good behavior"
>sent back to school
>officer bro sees me
>apologizes
>end of day
>everyone waiting in giant lobby area (served as our lunch spot too, because cafeteria was small)
>socializing
>officer bro brings me outside to his police car
>opens trunk
>opens an "evidence" bag
>gives me my knife back all nice like
>casually walks me back in with the other thousand students not giving a fuck that he just gave me back my knife in there
>go home
>mother takes knife

Anyway, the divorce bullshit started during this event, but only took place a few months later.

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>>31542164
It's engineered, Hegelian dialectic, social structuring. If you want to see this process "farther along" look at UK where metal paper clips are banned and there is a newspaper article if someone finds a bullet; next step is invasion/decimation by either their gov or another country.

This has nothing to do with safety and everything to do with weakening a country and turning it into a screeching, sissified, nanny-state liberal shithole where killing live babies with a forceps is encouraged but owning a baseball bat is a criminal offense.

This is what scripture meant by "calling good evil and evil good". Speaking of religion, Catholicism is a demonic cult responsible for millions of deaths and murders and the subversion of dozens of countries (the whore of Babylon, some would say) but the masses are encouraged to believe that Catholicism=Christianity although this is completely untrue.

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>>31543191
>firearms
>no combustion involved

>>31542872
I'll just chime in and say I was in a weirdly appropriate situation for this line of thought

>be happy as fuck that I managed to unbubba an SKS
>plan birthday range trip to test it out
>all my buddies flake on me
>drinking buddy that is good people takes me up on the offer and says he knows of some public land
>I was not aware of this area, so fuck yeah
>pick up buddy, pick up ammo, he needs to make a stop for some supplies
>wellokthen
>get to public land, start shooting
>have general fun shooting at random shit because we didn't have stands
>buddy asks for picture with SKS
>"but don't get my face in it. I can't post it to Facebook because I'm a felon."
>....ok, and range trip is over, have fun buddy
>never contact him or answer his questions about why I booked it so suddenly
>now double check who I'm shooting with and make sure they bring their own funs

>>31542316
sounds like something out of a pseudo-quirky american comedy show

>ITT: Things that never happen

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>>31543790
See >>31543687
True story.

>>31537786
That's what Makarovs are for

>>31541111
>quads
>grass is green
What a waste

>>31543744
Fq>>31543744
Make sure you email obama and tell him what happened>>31543744

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>>31543744
Because he was a clear and present danger to society by shooting that rifle; you just couldn't see it until he told you that, right?

You are a piece of shit. It'll be compliant fudds like you that will be first in line to hand your firearms over to the clinton brigade.

>>31543093
>wasr
>v skinwalkers
Sorry anon, but skinwalkers, being classified as materials, are one of the few entities that .50bmg can actually harm

Anything that isn't considered anti material is useless

>>31543714
>>31543687
your story reminded me of when i was a sophmore in highschool

>swag spic with half gold half black hair digging around in my backpack for some reason
>finds toy pirate pistol that shoots out BANG flag
>had been using backpack to carry stuff as i had just moved from my grandmothers house to my stepdads
>forgot there was a bunch of random stuff in my backpack like toy pistol
>spic points it at his head and pulls trigger
>look at him, hands me back my pistol
>see teacher eyeing down the scene
>a bit later the school cop shows up and ask us two, spic and i (im also spic but hes a real spic) to go outside with them
>lectures us on how seriously schools have to take these ever since the shootings (this was probably in 2012ish
>calls toy pistol simulated firearm
>tells us to dump pockets onto back of cruiser
>dump mtg deck

from there they called parents and told us they could charge us with a felony, in the end we both were sent to an alternative school which was actually a pretty good time in my life. the work was ridiculously easy, only like 5 hour school days. it was a very carefree period in my life, it was like childhood 2.0 i got a bunch of credits for free basically too since the teachers saw i was the only one doing my work. the other kids were kind of crazy though

>on computer learning about how to land a job interview, forgot what the class was called
>kid next to me asks for a dollar
>''what are you gonna use it for?" (asked since i saw no reason why hed need a dollar while in the middle of class and nothing to spend at the school anyways)
>"i just need something to snort with"
>um, no
>wasnt offended at all, just says 'no problem dude ha'
>focus on work while i hear his snort something

apparently "spice" was really common in the school, some sort of drug that makes their nose bleed or something. first time i heard about it

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>>31537486

>tfw most of my immediate family are leftist tards

WAKE ME UP

>>31543879
I still see the teacher that suspended once in a while, i think she feels bad about it since i was one of her best students but i dont hold it against her. i say hi whenever we see eachother at the dog park

never got gun back though

>>31543728
soccer mom tier anti funs swear that you can turn airsoft toys into real guns. even if you managed to do it i doubt it would work past the first shot and itd probably hurt the user anyways

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It's not a liberal overreaction but it's odd none the less
> when I was a kid
> lived in a shitty ghetto aera
> dad got me my first knife
What do kids always do with their first knives ?
> fucking around with it in the park with a friend while sitting at a table
> kinfey finger
> homeless guys walks up and snatches it
> "tries" to do knifey finger like he's fucking pic related
> beyond fucks up his hand , blood everywhere , bits are coming off
> slams the knife back down and walks away like he showed us how it's done

>>31540292
>I like to carry an actual knife on me because sometimes you have to do big boy shit, like open a can, or cut firewood, or chop up wire.
Anon, none of those are knife jobs and you should feel foolish for using your knife to do them. Same with driving screws.

>>31543728
Airshitterfag here
In the Republic of Ireland any airsoft gun that has a max power > 1 joule is legally considered a firearm

Cuck my shit up

>>31539641
The clock in the classroom wasn't working and my professor straight up asked if anybody had a knife or anything. two other guys and myself volunteered ours cause we always have one on us and he took mine and used it to frankly I dunno what he did with it, but then gave it back and the clock worked. Then he thanked us and commented on how nobody has anything useful on them nowadays, and that he's glad we're prepared. I realize I took a big risk there but he's an older dude with a nice open minded mentality and really chill so I knew I could trust him. This was in college though a few years ago

>>31539556
LOL I got questioned by them because I brought a hollow pipe in my carry on that had its ends sealed.

>>31544066
Damn right that was risky, could've been a shady lib tactic to single out the "violent ones" in the class.

>>31543879
"spice" was probably synthetic coke. IE bath salts. you can buy the shit at convenience stores run by indians and pakis, but it's shit tier compared to real stimulants.

>>31539641
>Be onna job
>Carrying muh 1911
>Guy notices it's a 1911
>Asks who made it
>It's a Les Baer
>Tells me his buddy just got a Kimber
>They're really nice guns
>I should probably look into upgrading to one

No, anon, we can't have nice things.

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>>31541111

>>31543997
Different anon, i use my pocketknife exclusively to open mail/packages and cut cheese for crackers

Why is my family so backwards?

>cousins/nieces, aunt and uncle out in California all have guns and shoot regularly
>have plenty of land to do it 45 mins away from their home
>they have to put up with the stupid bullshit gun laws
>my dad's father in california has so many guns he has literally lost count

Meanwhile

>we live in Georgia with lax gun laws
>my parents and all family friends are not interested in shooting, (dad would be if he was home for more than a week :-( )
>most we have is a Marlin .22 rifle with a box of 500 rounds of .22 we bought 10 years ago for about $5-10
>no idea where the magazine for it is anymore either
>only ever used that rifle to kill a boar tearing up our lawn when we first moved in
>have a range only 5 minutes away, but no guns to shoot
>can't even go shooting in the land behind our house anymore because they demolished it all to make a shitty neighborhood with "lake front" property (not fucking lake front, they just tapped a fire hydrant and let it unload into a giant ditch for a fucking month), now we have a fucking neighbor behind us within sight (stupid as shit since my parents bought that house because of how peaceful and isolated it was)
>my friends love to go shooting, but they all live in california, few that I know IRL in my town work all the time so having a day off is a rare thing
>can't find a fucking full time job that works with what I want do work with in town because this shit sucks for tech crap, gonna have to move at some point

>>31539252
Top kek

>>31544130
Ive heard of spice, i was told it's synthetic, shitty weed, among other things.

>>31544222
but you don't snort synthetic weed

>>31543888
>soccer mom tier anti funs swear that you can turn airsoft toys into real guns
There was apparently a run of M4s that used metal lower receivers that were almost true to AR-15 specs, which could be milled out and completed with an LPK.

>>31543728
I dunno, not UKistaner myself, b according to get, the law is there to prevent people from turning airsoft/replicas into real guns. Also airsoft guns that look like real ones, are considered firearms, or some sht like that.

>>31542943
I will take "shit that's didn't happen for 400", Alex.

>>31544246
Pretty sure people smoked it

>>31543588
>implying that someone should refrain from enjoying themselves while exercising their rights because it might make others uncomfortable

>>31543870
Better than nothing though. That post reminded me of the anon who claims to always go hiking with his wasr because he got stalked by a skinwalker/goatman.

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>>31537486
I liked the old juice better. Thankfully i bought 2 before they switched to the new design.

Also, they have gotten stupidly expensive in Canada... 3 years ago i bought a rebar at cabelas for $40. Its like $80 today. And the Surge is like $140... Ridiculous.

>>31544181
this is just a loop of the same image
wtf i hate memes now

>>31544126
Yea but like I said before, the guy was pretty cool and we got something fixed.

>>31539641
I'm part of a Search and Rescue team and we got some people routinely CCing and sometime OCing depending on the context.

Pretty much we're all cool with funs.

>>31539641
>Illegally CCing per usual
>In favorite LGS, the one known for being "the milsurp shop"
>Old sassy fudd behind the counter casually asks if I'm CCing
>P-poker face
>Mentions that he only spotted it because holster lacks a mag holder on the right
>Ask if it'll be trouble
>"Naaaaaaaaah, I'd be carrying too if the RCs weren't in here all the time."
>Goes on to blab about his six different 1911s and how he could totally CC all of them at once
>New kid in the corner pipes up and says it's probably safer when someone's carrying in the store safely
>The owner sticks his head around the corner and asks "who's Carrying?"
>Fudd says it's me
>"Oh, ok".
I love those rare shops like that, the ones who spit on our ridiculous laws at any opportunity.

>>31542872
This is true. Although I think that felons should be able to have weapons. If they did their time in jail then they should be fine. Disenfranchisement only alienates people. Thus they return to their life of crime

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>>31542804
>visiting a college in Indiana
>sitting near the help desk waiting for my appointment
>guy at the help desk pulls out a switchblade to open a package
>a student there also has one and ends up talking to the help desk guy about them
>mfw I'm sitting there with my D/A OTF concealed in my pocket

Indiana has great knife laws.

>>31544341
Why can't you CC in your LGS? What state do you live in?

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>>31543728
UK
Pic related

>>31542340
Living that good life I see. Wish I had bosses that cool.

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>>31544393
Jesus christ. How did the UK get so cucked?

>>31544420
By ignoring the roots of the nation's violence issues and only addressing a perceived means. Falls under the same category as ignoring gangs and focusing on guns in Chicago.

>>31540292
So you use a knife for just about everything you shouldn't use a knife for and nothing you should use a knife for.

Poor blade.

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>>31537486
This reminds me of a moment in my middle school band class.
>Be me age 14
>Be playing dat sweet tender alto sax sound.
>Best friend pulls out a laser pointer.
>Band director starts working with another section.
>Commence shenanigans.jpg
> I have my friends laser pointer in my hand and I am playing with it on my music stand.
>Laser Lightshow.gif
>Out of no where assistant band director who is a massive cunt comes over and takes it from me.
>I am like ok np I will get it back for my friend at the end of class.
>Class ends and I pack up my sax and go to talk to the teacher about getting it back for my friend.
>The woman goes on a 30 min rant about how it is a weapon and that I shouldn't have it.
>My friend is next to me in awe at the fact that the teacher is saying the laser pointer is a weapon.

TFW we never did get that laser pointer back.

>>31542340
Do they have a not hot daughter? Could always get your dick wet just for fun

>>31542943
t. Somalian

>>31543605
>In high school
>Christian high school for maximum feelings-based rule set
>Friend of mine was a typical 3edgy metalhead at the time, dressed in Cannibal Corpse shirts, heil Satan TRVE CVLT BLACK METAL 14/88 type
>Had the long metal hair and collected a bunch of those tiny Swiss Army knives, the teeny-tiny ones on keychains
>School counsellor spots him playing with one, starts getting up in his face
>"FUCKING STOP ME THEN, FAGGOT"
>Pulls a dozen out of his pocket
>Ties them into his greasy locks
>Starts doing that metal hair spin
>Swiss Army knives start rocketing around the hall
>Counsellor is panicking
>Stops with a stomp, calls her a useless cunt and walks out the door as other staff approach
>Is back a few days later anyway
Fucking dumb in retrospect, but I nearly shit myself at the time.

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>>31540397
>fuckers taped it tighter than the girls /b/ dreams about

Holy fuck that got me. Right in the middle of class.

>>31544390
Canada. CC technically exists (the Authorization To Carry, or ATC), it's just impossible to get, and horrendously expensive even if you are approved. So many just CC illegally, especially local Filipinos. And they all go with 1911s for some reason.

>>31544522
the whole NOTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE A WEAPON is just another way for teachers to sperg out and get a power trip. i remember once in highschool where i was just walking around campus during lunch and the principal lectured me because she thought it was unsafe for someone to listen to music while walking around since i wouldnt hear anyone warning me about walking into a hole or something

then they pat themselves on the back and sing 'for the greater good'

>>31543714
Based officer guy

>be me
>be 10 yrs old
>father going to air port to pick up a friend
>i tag along
>live in the South so i always carry a knife
>this is the mid 90s btw
>walk into airport with father
>he passes through metal detector
>visibly nervous i stop dead in my tracks before metal detector
>carrying 4" bladed knife
>father keeps waving me to walk through the metal detector
>"I ... I have a knife... "
>black lady with security" ohh cmon honey it can't be that big "
>blush and try to stop erection
>pull it out and hand it to her
>insert stereotypical black reactions" ohh lawdy what's a little kid like you doing with such a big knife. "
>father laughs and says" we're from the country."
>head of security is called
>looks it over and says "no serrations let him through."
>put knife in pocket and proceed on through.


It's weird thinking back how much shit has changed. Got a funs one coming up.

>>31544606
this is so pants on head retarded that it might actually be true

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>>31544606

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>>31539556
i've got a story about under reaction and the TSA

> be me
> flying to visit a girl (don't do this, guys)
> get bored packing
> i need a weapon
> two cans of tuna
> wool socks
need a can opener, too
> put pic related between the cans

so i go through the line. TSA spots cans on bag x-ray. Pulls it out to look

> be TSA woman
> lol at this white dude with the cans innasox
> can't keep this
> don't want to

"here are your cans, anon. let me put them back in the sock for you"

10/10 would fly again

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>>31540576
I too live in Wisconsin anon gotta meet up m8

>>31544712
>"no serrations let him through."

You could have murdered an entire plane you psychopath.

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>>31539641
>be in art class
>9th grade. In the year of our lord, 1999
>one student pulls pic related from his backpack and shows the class
>calls the teacher's attention and shows him too
>"that's lovely, now put it away"
>Art teacher leaves
>comes back with the dean and principle
>he got expelled for the rest of the year

>>31544785
same, Wisconsin is pretty gr8

>>31539111
>>31539385

Some asian college student around here shanked somebody with a knife when he was getting beat up by somebody

Naturally he's getting sued into oblivion

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>>31544819
What a dipshit had a kid do that too,
>be inna geometry glass
>goofy fucker named Jeremy arrives
>after class starts telling kids to respect him or they are gonna get gutted with a switch
>mfw he actually had a switchblade on him with a shitload of .38 rounds in his bag
>dean comes and his ass is toasted

>>31544819
That doesn't look comfortable or practical in any measure

Was he hispanic by any chance?

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>>31544849
Live in the NW area Barron county?

>>31544341

RC?

>>31542069
My last year of high school one of our honor roll students who had literally never done anything out of line ever, brought salt to school and was suspended. Fucking salt.

>>31544712
Now for gun story.
>be in open carry state
>be open carrying
>in sporting goods store but not like bug ones that sell hunting stuff just basic sports gear
>open carrying like a Fucking boss when I walk in
>friend and i walk to the back of the store to look at boxing and mma equipment
>talking and messing with gear for about 5 minutes
>see blue in the corner of my eye and start laughing
>friend says "what's up man"
>tell him "look who just walked in"
>fucking cop
>apparently the cashier called the Fucking cops on me
>throw hands up and let cop take handgun
>give him my license to run
>start shooting shit with cop
>he unloads my handgun and gives me back the magazine
>still waiting on HQ to finish check on me
> I talk to him about my gun and cop ia bro tier and hands it back to me to show him stuff.
>call comes back good
>cop says "i just found out last week state is open carry
>" can i put a round back in the chamber? "
>" Yeah man sure thing"
>holster weapon and load round back into chamber.
>Blackhawk serpa holster so yeah it's possible
>walk out of store and see one cop hiding behind cement pillar
>one waiting in a truck
>one just pulled into the parking lot
>nothing happens and we go on our way

Not so terrible. Living in the South has its benefits. Libs usually stick to the cities anyway.

>>31544808
Bullshit you libtard faggot. You need serrations to murder planes.

>>31544712

You have to go through security to pick up someone?

>>31544873
Red Coats

>>31543430
>I need to find a way to qualify to buy a long gun

Find a club, join it, do 6 months probation, apply for FAC, have two references and don't be a criminal or a mental, buy funs, own funs, shoot funs.

>>31544909
We went meet this guy right off the plane. Look all i know is this is what happened. To get past a certain point you have to go through. You can wait for them to get off the plane and walk through but apparently my father didn't want to wait.

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>>31537486

Holy shit is that a gravity knife?!

>>31542676
Yeah no. Fuck outta here.

>>31544652
That sucks. Can business owners open carry on their private property?

>>31544924
My main issue is the clubs near where I lived (Drogheda) were just too damned expensive and I don't drive

If I can get a hunting license I qualify, and I would like to start learning to hunt since in fairly into being /out/ as is. I'll see what happens when I move back to Ireland

Thanks for the advice anon :)

>>31544874
I'd like to see some source for this, I fully doubt salt could get you suspended

>>31542158
Also a cheap way to force more kids to buy lunch from the school

>>31544942
Yeah, those are illegal in NY. Same with automatically opening knives and any knife with two sharpened edges. Also Nunchucks, kung fu stars, sword canes, and saps.

Oh and Stun Guns, because they apparently haven't gotten the memo that that's unconstitutional yet.

>>31544997
>I fully doubt white powder could get you suspended
Well within the realm of possibility.

>>31544964
No such thing as a hunting license anon, you just need permission from the landowner. The land also has to be cleared for the calibres you want to use on it too. Not wishing to sound like a dick, but if you don't already know this then I guarantee you will not be granted a ticket to go wandering around the countryside with a centrefire rifle. You need to join a club so you can learn from people who know their stuff and demonstrate a need and possession of half a clue to the po po. Shooting is not a cheap sport, especially in the UK. Consider starting with a shotgun certificate and breaking a few clays of a Sunday afternoon, again join a club and get to know people, this is how you learn skills and get permission to shoot on people's land. It's also a cheaper option than going straight for the centrefire money pit. Shooting is something of a closed shop in the UK, for better or worse. Join a club.

>>31544819
first day of leadership camp sponsored by HS, doing a tire swing exercise, my 4 inch folder is straped to my belt from that morning when I was working on the yard. officer jones calls me over (he's been watching us do these games/tasks) is that a knife?
I think of fuck, he says "let me hold it for you" he hands it back when we climbed back on the bus. tells me to sharpen it.

most based HS police ever, to see him tackle little hooligans in school was like watching art, he would beat the shit out of tards (not literal tards) startin shit in campus. I would regularly carry knives and shit because I'm artsy fuck, never in trouble.

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>>31544606
>>Starts doing that metal hair spin
>>Swiss Army knives start rocketing around the hall

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>going to State Fair of Texas
>mom casually asks if im going to be bringing my gun
>about to open my mouth and say somthing
>dad
>ABSOLUTELY NOT
>why shouldn't he?
>NO, WE WILL NOT DISCUSS THIS

2 days later
>at fair
>dad and out of state uncle+aunt we were bringing get in line for security check
>I stroll right past show my LTC to the officer and skip the line

this is pretty much the face I made when they finally got through the gate

>Be in 5th grade in one of the most liberal parts of California
>Kid brings shitty "katana" he got from Chinatown for show and tell
>No one gives a shit

>>31544268
This is correct spice is a fake weed that's legal is some states.

>>31544871
nah, I live in the People's Republik and survive only to the intercession of Comrade Walker and his preemption law.

>>31545125
Anon, please, he doesn't live in the UK.

Story about bringing a "bomb" to school in the fifth grade:

>be 10 year old kid
>have ADHD and Asperger's
>get in trouble a lot at school
>most of the teachers find me annoying
>science teacher is cool though
>she stuck up for me when I punched a kid in the face for calling me a faggot
>her class is my favorite
>decide I'm going to build my own grenade
>be a retarded kid who knows nothing about grenades
>my "grenade" is just some batteries wrapped in gauze held in a tobacco can with a fuse leading in
>wouldn't actually do anything if set on fire
>be ignorant of this
>decide I want to show off my homemade "grenade" to my favorite science teacher
>maybe she'll help me set it off on the blacktop as a show and tell type thing
>bring it to school in a plastic bag
>walk straight to my science teacher's classroom first thing in the morning
>she's standing outside before class starts
>"Hey teacher I brought something I think you might like. This is a homemade grenade. Do you think we could take some time in class today to go try it on the blacktop?"
>turns out vice-principal was right behind me
>she hates me
>doesn't help that I worded what I was saying in the worst possible way
>immediately confiscates it and takes me to the office
>parents are called
>mom has to come to the school
>worry that I'm going to be expelled or get in trouble with the police
>mom talks to principal
>clearly I didn't want to hurt anyone and couldn't have even if I wanted to
>this is Arkansas
>the police aren't called because it would be a waste of their time
>the most punishment I get is a spanking from the principal
>my mom just tells me not to do that again
>look back now and think about how much of an idiot I was

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>>31544606

>Just got off work.
>Tired as fuck, but need to make a beer run from the competitor store.
>They have better selection and are a 24/7 store, sue me.
>Make my rounds, starting to realize I am nitpicking how they have shit staged in their isles.
>IHaveWorkedRetailTooLong.tif.
>Grab beer, hear a woman scream "THERE HE IS, HE HAS A KNIFE!"
>On reflex grab at my side.
>Tackled by a fucking bear.
>Beer shatters all over, the hoppy blood forever soiling the ground.
>Weight gets throw off of me and all I hear is screaming, and a very pissed off sounding dude.
>Just lay there until I hear police radios.
>Lady had been tailing me from the moment I entered the store because I had my work issued box knife.
>The same knife the guy who bull rushed me wears, apparently being out of uniform makes my knife a mass murder device at 11pm.
>Dude was like 300lbs and realized he fucked up as soon as he did what he did.
>Next day get call from the owner of the store.
>Says he looked at the tapes, etc.
>Ask him if he knows the name of the store I work at.
>He does.
>Tell him one of his employees almost made his store a sub company of my store for his behavior.
>Silence on his end for a good ten seconds.
>"Lets hope it never comes to that, sir."

>>31539905
Sup Rockfag, I grew up there and went to UALR for a spell.

>>31544956
OC is legal, if local laws don't prevent it, and if it's a Non-Restricted. Business owners can't get away with it, I believe. My LGS has a Glock under the counter in a quick-release safe, though.

>>31542872
This is now a meme. I will use this and win every argument.

>>31545276
To be fair to the anon ROI laws are nearly identical to UK laws
>Remove crumpet
>Spend existence as a state copying crumpet laws anyway

>>31541909

Wow, that is just...sad.

>dad stopped answering my calls about 2 months ago

This also breaks my heart, even though from my point of view it happened to some random person on the internet.

>>31542624
>ARE YOU TALKING BACK
I hate when they say shit like that. They're so used to having the illusion of control over their offspring that they now view everyone they interact with as a child.

>>31544776
>First time going through TSA
>Leaving NC to Shitcago
>Have laptop in satchel
>Set satchel on the scanner belt
>Nobody gives a shit
>Go to leave Shitcago
>Set satchel on the scanner belt
>SIR DID YOU REMOVE THE LAPTOP FROM THE BAG!?
>O-oh I didn't know I was suppos-
>SIR WE HAVE TO DO THIS FOR EVERYBODY'S SAFETY BECAUSE THE LAPTOP BLOCKS THE SCANNER FROM SCANNING THINGS UNDER IT SO YOU COULDA HID A WEAPON OR SOMETHING
>Everybody is staring at me like I'm some kind of psycho
>TSA dude who looks older than my grandpa is smiling at them and their super serious ass faces
>Get home
>Tell friend whose mother works for the TSA about this
>She tells me 90% of TSA agents she deals with have a massive erection for making a public scene and will flip shit over borderline nothing.

>>31538690
>They return five minutes later, hand me the knife, then ask me why I carry a knife.

Jesus, I knew Australia was bad but is it really *this* bad?

>>31537486
>Live in NC
>Had this friend
>Metal head and looked the part
>Loved guns and went to the range with his dad
>Told me he was going on his first hunting trip this weekend and was super excited
>Comes in on Monday wearing a bullet necklace
>It's just a shell casing
>Shows me a picture of the deer he shot while hunting
>Put the case on a necklace because it looks metal AF and it reminds him of that awsome father-son moment
>Teacher sees necklace and walks off
>SRO walks in and looks like he wants to kill himself
>Motions for friend to go with him
>He gets suspended for 3 days for bringing a dangerous bullet to school or some shit that violated 0 tolerance policies
>Threatened to outright expel him if he ever wore it again

>>31541024
Michiganbro here and I feel your pain

>>31546103
Fuck that shit. Shell casings aren't "dangerous bullets." Would've fought that shit hard.

>>31546103
Fuck this public school system.