Post things you only learned once you joined. I'll start.

>>31515945
I was one of the 0311's sleeping in the holes in the picture. In fact I was deployed there also.

>Wednesday is MRE day
>Saturday is MRE night
>MRE's on Sunday

Quit your bitching squid. except the talking to family part, that does suck.

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Tell us more about the unusual hobbies, OP. I want to know what you guys do for fun in the depths of ocean.

>>31515945
Royal Navy? Thats the same shit we went through although I was Trafalfar and Astute.

>>31515945
What chlamydia feels like

>>31516223
Model making, painting, wood whiteling, jigsaws, board games, juggling, torpedo room twister, closed compartment lights off punching tag.

Anything quiet and time consuming.

An iPod that requires a reset is a death sentence.

>>31516419
I was on vigilant once then they decided I was suited to it, so I did a second patrol then decided to leave because of the money outside and the lack of a social life.

>>31516651
I left the Navy because they wanted to send me to Faslane, the brown hills of that shit hole is not worth any amount of money.

>>31516601

you could get the best campaign of D and D going ever down there.

>>31516674
I was born in Scotland so I don't mind.

>>31516680
Not with working class degnerates and 6 on 6 off shifts. All hobbies need to be solo. The only time I've ever seen someone make a ship in a bottle was in a metal bottle under the sea.

I am just joining up now, to the RN. Are CTs still disliked on ships?

>>31516601
How do subs move? Do they move like ships? Do people get seasick?

Also armyfag

>That moment when you realize it is not disgusting, but incredibly freeing when you can shit innawoods only a few meters from someone else, in plain sight, and not feel the least bit embarrassed

>>31516747
>Do people get seasick?
On the surface subs suffer more than ships due to the cigar shaped hull, deep down you do not feel a thing.

>>31516744
>Are CTs still disliked on ships?
The only disliked ones are stewards.

>>31516680
I had a coworker that worked on subs, big D&D guy.

>>31515945
>curry day
Neat. Army DFACs didn't have that as of '07 not sure about now. Sure do miss soul food Thursdays

>>31516747
You can get very sea sick on the surface or close to it submarines can roll a lot. Deeper it's very calm, comparable to a plane flight.

On a side note,

It is perfectly possible (and has happened previously) for a submarine to roll over. This usually happens as a result of impact with another vessel.

>>31516601
I thought my mate was joking when he said model trains were popular. Time for a new 40k army

>>31516819
>>31516762
I always associate sub work like an almost dream state. Everything is dark and quiet, you're isolated, on your own time people recede into their own madness.

Is there any truth to this? If so sign me up.

>>31516845
>quiet
Far from true, the only time things go silent is when there is a reactor scram and that means dickheads like me need to head aft, thats when things get really fucking hot.

>>31515945
>60 word message every 3 months

Jesus, I thought that sleeping in ditches and getting shot at by goat farmers was bad. At least I got to talk with my family.

Is nuclear engineer on subs ( I cant remember the proper name) as well paid a everyone makes out? I have heard they are highest paid onboard, not sure why more people don't do it

>>31516845
Well its not dark. Darkness is a safety hazard. Your bunk curtain is the best darkness you'll get. Asides from lights off closed compartment punching tag that is.

>>31516868
>not sure why more people don't do it
Because you are first on, last off and do stupid shifts with very little downtime. What good is all that money if you cannot enjoy it?

>>31516868
Highest paid on board isn't the same as highest paid in your university year.

There are lots of uses for a degree in nuclear physics.

>>31516879
>>31516865
Bummer, I was lookin for the dreamlike experience.

>>31515945
Army here

>fire fights usually consist of talking about what you want to eat later while people shoot at you from a bush 600 meters away and you wait for air support to blow them up
>Afghans really do fuck goats
>and they squat more than slavs
>waiting in line to get to the line you need to wait in
>doors are much harder to kick open than you'd think
>people hide guns in the strangest places
>women in the national guard are guaranteed to cheat ib their men back home
>active duty guys love it when the new NG unit shows up, because we know we'll eventually fuck all of them
>hence why the NG is usually called "Nasty Girls"
>jerking off in full kit is difficult
>fucking while both of you are in full kit is even more difficult

Ex Canadian infantry.

>Get mom to send the good coffee and you will be king
>Spit your dip out before a firefight
>Don't fuck the females on base
>Pack light on patrols
>Don't eat/drink anything local ( I swear my buthhole isn't the same since)

>>31516904
>People hide guns in the strangest places

How strange?

>>31517053
Buttholes aren't that strange. Everyone has one.

usaf nuke cop

>people will steal your gear and fuck you over
>the girls are giant sluts and/or lesbians
>people care most about who is going to the local trashy bar to dance to shit music
>girls will get away with murder because vagina
>normie central

>>31516879
>Asides from lights off closed compartment punching tag that is.
Is this Navy codeword for buttsex?

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>>31517076
>nuke cop

That mean you carrying nuke to enforce the law ?

>>31517076
Minot?

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>>31517528
>>31517520

>>31515945
was it worth working in a sub? is there any sort of bonus pay associated with such a shit job?

>If you hide your rifle in your sleeping bag it is less likely to go missing than if you leave it in the arms room.

>>31516828
I helped introduce 40k to Iraq. We eventually had guys buying $500 armies and having their moms or wives ship them over

>tfw the incoming alarm sounds and you'd rather die in a mortar attack than leave the turn

>Don't get a toothache.
Let me guess, they pull your fucking teeth.

Marines here.

>sandstorms are fucking amazing and let you live out your operator/vidya fantasies
>most of garrison and deployments are spent cleaning weapons if you're infantry
>80% of your diet is MREs
>people fucking die during training
>all of the countries I thought would be exotic and interesting are actually just shitholes
>I thought our military was bad, but we look like high-speed, low-drag operators compared to the majority of the worlds' militaries

The list goes on.

>>31517750
Freeman here, even the biggest cherry fuck is better trained than the ncos of some foreign armies.

>>31517750
>People die during training.
No fucking shit and they get permanently manned too. A poor kid in boot got his leg tackled by a fat fuck and got destroyed for life.

SOI some idiot shot his fucking foot loading his gun.

>>31517783
I meant his service pistol. I need to go to bed.

>>31517800
Since when do people get to use/train with pistols in SOI?

>>31517815
Since they stopped not training pistols in SOI

>>31517822
Interesting. How recently was this incident?

I went through SOI about 8 years ago now and we never even saw an M9.

>>31517853
They were using stealth M9s at the time

>The Tuskegee Airmen were all injected with Syphilis to try to keep them from flying planes successfully by the racist U.S government. They still went on to shoot down more Germans than any other unit.

>>31517558
keked hard

>>31517878
t. George Lucas

>>31517750
>>I thought our military was bad, but we look like high-speed, low-drag operators compared to the majority of the worlds' militaries
Is this article still accurate?
http://www.meforum.org/441/why-arabs-lose-wars

>>31516167
>I was one of the 0311's sleeping in the holes in the picture.
>>31516167
>In fact I was deployed there also.
Uh... duh?

>>31517983
Yes. I worked alongside the Saudis, the Omanis, and the Jordanians.

All terrible. Most of the Asian armed forces were laughable, too.

>>31518010
I wasn't literally in the picture you walking talking abortion.

I was deployed to Helmand province, and was an 0311. Was in similar conditions. God damn stupid kids.

>>31518141
Not the guy you're replying to, but you worded it in a way that made it seem like you were LITERALLY in the picture.

Leave it to a muhreen to be a fucking retard.

>>31517742
No dentist on subs, only Independent Duty Corpsman.

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>>31518160
Imagine the unlikelihood. I didn't think I had to hold your hand faggot. As far as I know it might have been my unit.

>Muhreens are dumb

Have fun with your memes.

>>31518010
>I was one of the 0311's sleeping in the holes in the picture
>I wasn't literally in the picture you walking talking abortion

Are you a literal retard?

>>31518239

>>31518010
meant for
>>31518141

>>31518239
You responded to yourself. Yes, you're literally retarded.

>>31516167
Why would you sleep in shallow open holes? That can't be all that helpful against incoming fire especially compared to a real foxhole, and it seems like a great way to wake up swarmed by bugs

>>31518288
Because explosions. They react a certain way.

>Fox hole

We dug fighting holes. Fox holes are for Army bitches. We ran towards the bullets not away.

>>31515945
>Shoot low during low light.
>Use blue light to detect bleeding
>Keep your firing eye closed during flares
>Tired people grab onto trees walking uphill. Put grenades in trees.
>Walk heel to toe
>Dangle 550 gut string from the barrel of your weapon to detect trip wire
>NODs are worthless after the initial burst
>No one cuts a throat like in the movies - odds are you'll cut yourself trying
>If you are the leader, load mostly tracers so everyone knows where to fire
>Don't use a Swiss seat if you enjoy your testicles
>Fuck the riggers, take as much of the parachute as you need
>The enemy is scared shitless of the 82nd Airborne

>>31518344
>The enemy is scared shitless of the 82nd Airborne

Literally who?

>>31518340
>muhreens

>>31518340
>We dug fighting holes. Fox holes are for Army bitches. We ran towards the bullets not away.
OH-RAH CLEARED HOT DEVIL DOG CLEARED HOT

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>>31516601
>closed compartment lights off punching tag.
Damn that sounds like fun

>>31518344
>Shoot low during low light.
Why?
>Use blue light to detect bleeding
>Keep your firing eye closed during flares
>Tired people grab onto trees walking uphill. Put grenades in trees.
Okay all of these make sense or I've heard them before.
>Walk heel to toe
Why? You mean land on your heel and push off with toe, or put heel of your front foot in front of the toe of the back foot?
>Dangle 550 gut string from the barrel of your weapon to detect trip wire
Sure.
>NODs are worthless after the initial burst
Is not what I heard but what do I know, I'm no grunt. Why so?
>No one cuts a throat like in the movies - odds are you'll cut yourself trying
Sure.
>If you are the leader, load mostly tracers so everyone knows where to fire
Have heard this before, that you as leader (especially if you have NODs and others don't) should only shoot where you want them to lay hate
>Don't use a Swiss seat if you enjoy your testicles
A what now?
>Fuck the riggers, take as much of the parachute as you need
Don't get this at all.

>>31518340
Thanks you for confirming that muhreens are retards.

>>31517775
This. Even as a fucking AF POG intel puke E-3 I was doing the work of foreign E-5s and E-6s and generally doing it better than they were.

>>31518360
I know of the 82nd.

>>31518373
K

>>31518377
If you are going to patronize me, at least say oohrah correctly.

>>31518453
OH-RAH

>>31518344
>keep your firing eye closed during flares
id forgotten about that
>NODs are worthless after the initial burst
yeah, no.

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>>31518440
Yeah we are. But we kill shit dead gooder.

>>31518440
That's NEET.

>>31518270
Holy fuck. Goddamn marines.

>>31518340
Typical marine. Too lazy to dig a proper hole and still feels superior about it

>>31518595
Not him. But the "muhreens" BTFO out the army as far as I can tell.

>>31518453
>>31518463
OH-RAH

>>31518410
autism

>>31518410
put your weight on your heel and then "roll" the rest of of your foot down

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>>31518201
>when people tell me about their deployments to leatherneck and dwyer

>>31516868
I knew a guy that was a navy nuke, used his gi bill to get a mech eng degree, and started at $140K. He got offered a $90K bonus to do a second enlistment (messing up terminology).

>>31515945
>Only about 10% of the stories you hear are bullshit.
>there's bullshit, and there's fluff, and there is a fine line between the two.
>the marf plant does indeed have detectable neutron radiation outside the outer biological layer
>no one will question you if you look like you personally witnessed someone shit in your cheerios at breakfast and are carrying radiation detection equipment
>that goes double if it's audibly clicking
>even if there is a piece of granite visible taped to the sensor probe

>if you even look like an MP command staff will look the other way, usually.

>no matter how skate you think you are, someone else can skate better.

>>31516819
>It is perfectly possible (and has happened previously) for a submarine to roll over. This usually happens as a result of impact with another vessel.

I retired 17 years ago and I still have nightmares about capsizing. I would not have done well in subs.

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>>31516904
>fucking while both of you are in full kit is even more difficult

you should add that after a long time in the field your junk smells like swamp thing

>be innawoods for 2 weeks
>get bj from 5/10 sig
>"okay your turn"
>blank expression "No."
>her face when

>>31519036
for real though. Field pussy smells terrible and tastes worse. I'm convinced it's one of the reasons that humanity invented soap and showers.

>>31518171
What happens if someone gets say, appendicitis on a sub?

>>31519059
you surface and pawn him off to the battlegroup who then ships him off to the mainland.

>>31517506
yes

>>31519068
...damn. I though they would try to operate with scissors or something.

>>31519091
.....Maybe the koreans or chinese might do that but could you imagine the shitstorm that would blow in if something like that happened and hit the news cycle on a slow day?

>>31518201
Rather be one of the dudes on the right.

for you fellows in the nuke forces
>all those accidents
>realizing those other shithole countries have nukes
>drunks russians, pakistan, CHYNA,

jeeeesus christsssss

>>31518827
Fuck off mate, nothing wrong with an anon asking honest questions because they want to learn.

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>>31519036
>>be innawoods for 2 weeks
>>get bj from 5/10 sig
>>"okay your turn"
>>blank expression "No."
>>her face when

>>31519140

Dear god, some of the stories I've heard of. This one I was witness to.

>Be security at white sands
>get a call to go check on a disturbance in one of the control bunkers
>turns out maintenance had repainted a couple of the panels
>ventilation was behaving badly, so paint fumes kinda filled the room
>both guys on duty that night got a little high
>one of them cracked and decided the best way to prevent nuclear war was to fill the keyholes with jb weld
>other guy did literally jack shit to stop him
>took myself and three others to drag JB welder out,
>maintenance spends a week trying to pick out all the JB weld
>they end up calling in someone that had the clearance to pull apart the paneling to fix what had been fucked up.
>I end up pulling double shifts while maintenance and the guy with the right clearance fix shit with orders to "shoot anyone who isn't an E-6 and tries to get past you bunker".
>still sick of the taste of "engineering grade" coffee 10 years later.

>>31518410
Swiss seat is just a type of harness ppl make with webbing. Shit sucks.

>>31519217
*get past you and into the bunker

>>31518611
this

technically speaking, marine fighting holes are supposed to be pretty deep, but the marines in these pictures are just digging some shallow shit and calling it the day

>>31519217
>31519217
i like the ones where the guy on duty with the IMPORTANT keys lives 10 miles away and forgot his keys.

I'll scratch my head at that one all the time.

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>>31519217
>>one of them cracked and decided the best way to prevent nuclear war was to fill the keyholes with jb weld

>>31518902
>used his gi bill to get a mech eng degree, and started at $140K.
so his starting salary was higher than the top 1% of mechanical engineers? funny how i'm stuck in a phd program because i couldn't even get a job after my mechanical engineering bachelors.

>>31519254
Did you also have experience running a nuclear powerplant?

>>31516601
>torpedo room twister

I really hope that's not some kind of euphemism

>>31515945
were you shanghai'd?
I heard that regular sailors don't get a say if they get transferred to a sub

>>31519251
See the problem with his logic was that a remote launch could still be authorized from the white house. He'd have to JB weld the hatch closed too.

>>31516601
>>31516601
>>31516601
i need a breakdown on hobbys done by race and ranks
>white bois
>niggas
>chinese nuke officer (wtf all the time i saw a bunch of asians O's in the sensitive areas)
>enlisted
>officers

No hds to share porn or dvd series?

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Anything about anime in the military?

>>31518288
well I have read the entrenching manuals and my understanding is that the holes are mainly to protect against mortar fire

>mortar hits neat position
>shrapnel flies out sideways
>passes over everyone in the hole

digging a fox hole takes a lot of work, doing it with an entrenching tool makes it worse

the rangers grave (those shallow holes) won't protect from a direct hit from a mortar, but the chance of the mortar landing near you is exponencial eg. 1/1000 it's withing a meter, 1/600 it's within two meters etc

that's what I took from the manuals anyway

>>31519366
usaf here
the amount and type of people who watch it will surprise you

higher enlisted tier, officers

I know an E7 and O5 who love anime.

>>31519217
>nuclear launch sites
Anyone got the greentext story about the guy who had to deal with hippies fucking with ICBM silo hatches and having to pay for them for the rest of their lives?

>>31519505
I thought I had that one saved and was gonna post it with that story. So I'm seconding that request.

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Wew niggas, I'm a boot waiting until March to ship out. Is everything as bad as it is? Are they bad as everyone depicts it here? I'd probably keep to myself, this shit is spookin me.

Post field stories of random shit pls.

>>31519575
Are women as bad as you guys depict it?***

>>31516601
Model making innasub sounds comfy as fuck. Maybe I should request a sub billet.

>>31519302
When I was at white sands there was an E-9 who made random shit out of PVC piping on his off time. We almost dragged him out for being a druggie on suspicion after one of them looked to be the mother of all bongs... turned out it was a didgeridoo.

Dude even made a PVC trombone that worked.

>>31516601
Two of those sound really gay

>>31519600
Board gaming seems to have come back and being popular in culture again.

Some naval air guy on a carrier would baggie his games stuff up to save space. Was an O-5 or something. CMMDR or some such. he was just "frank" at the local gaming store.

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>>31517750
>>31516951
>>31516904
>Be docfag
>get 4 hours of sleep a day, the rest of the day is fixing up an endless supply of patients
>get shipped off to africa
>spend days practically cutting up deformed people and trying to turn what's left of the person once you've removed all the tumors and other stuff that shouldn't be there back into a human
>try and fix up the many african solders that have been shot and don't know how to treat gun shot wounds (I shit you not, I had to operate on some guy who stuffed one of the holes another african had made in him with leaves)
>after about 2 weeks he runs out to go back to war and to get shot up again
>NURSE WAKE UP
>NURSE I SAID GIVE ME A NUMBER 12 SCALPEL NOT A NUMBER 15
>NURSE YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN I'VE AT LEAST STABILIZED THIS MAN
>in uni friend says I should join the reserves
>be in the military? Oh no I could never do that

>>31515945
You forgot

>toothbrush up inside the asshole is a real thing

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>>31519402
Sweet

>>31516845
diesel electric subs should scratch that itch. find a navy that will let you drive one of those.

>>31519217

>White Sands

Holy fuck that's close to me.

>>31517724
Truely the imperiums finest.
Honortohisthrone/10

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>>31519217
>did literally jack shit

>you get a foot of air and real hangtime when a 7 ton hits a log at 35mph while you sleep in the bed.
>you will loose some hearing
>if you think it can't rain any harder it will
>two man tents are always broken to shit
>you will hurt civis feeling if you talk normally
>if you don't dip, chew or smoke you will soon

>>31518630
>muhreens blow the fuck out out the army
just as bad as atm machine

>>31519505
>>31519538
Do also want

>fill a hesco
>get the bucket back it up
>fill a hesco
>get the bucket back it up
>fuck it's hot
>fill a hesco

goddamnit

>>31519217

holy shit those little styrofoam cups will haunt my dreams

nasty ass fuckwater

>>31515945
Former Aust Army

>Bulletproof is a 'relative' thing
>Idiotproof is not a thing
>They put a lot of idiots in the most heavily armoured vehicles where they can't see or hear anything
>Scuba courses are not fun
>Jungle survival courses will make your feet and junk rot to the point you can look at it and say, "that wasn't on my body 2 weeks ago"
>Hydrate you dumb cunt or 4 of us will have to carry you out of this shit
>Never get on a submarine for joint operations, that's where they send the degenerates and lunatics in the navy away from the nice people
>Beware of shaved arabs
>Assumption is the mother of all fuckups
>Complain all you want, no one cares
>Your own Air Force may want to kill you on deployment
>The people who make rat packs are sadistic cunts

>>31517581
Not OP, but yes, there are multiple bonuses. Sea pay, sub pay, separation pay (if you have a family), and sometimes hazardous duty pay.

>>31520327

all for inhaling your own farts

and everyone else's farts

>>31519184
>> dat cheesy field taco

>>31520322
>Complain all you want, no one cares
The one thing you army fucks are good at.

>>31519366
>>31519402
Can confirm here; USAF SF here and a good number of my superiors watch it. Working the gate and a couple of qts come through, one of them gave me a little Inuyasha figurine cuz she remembered I like anime too.

>>31517724
>LIEUTENANT WE HAVE TO GET TO COVER
>FUCK THAT I NEED TO EXTERMINATUS THESE ORKS
>YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT
>THE EMPEROR IS MY LIFE
>Oh dude sweet all 6's
>THAT'S CHEATING CARL
>EMPEROR WILLS IT PRIVATE

>>31520300
I also do want it

>>31520322
>"hydrate you dumb cunt of 4 of us will have to carry you out of this shit"

People don't? I mean holy shit why wouldn't you? there's literally no reason not to.

Just about all of these were right, except the last one. Probably just different slang I'm not familiar with. The fuck's a rat pack?

>>31516601
Since they're allowing grilz aboard the subs now... I imagine that those hobbies may be less than wholesome by the end of the deployment. All it takes is one of the bad ones and the discipline is gone.

>>31520350
Rubbish, we're also excellent at getting lost, breaking things and losing stuff.

>>31520422
Mostly new guys that tend to get stuck into something and forget to keep drinking. Generally NCO's get the job of policing it the most, plus it gives the corporals something to do other than fuck up and annoy people.
>Rat(ion) Pack, may or may not contain rats.

>>31520236
>you will hurt civis feeling if you talk normally
Can you elaborate?

>>31520322
My stepdad brought home a bunch of unsued rationpacks this one time.

The chocolate was okay, tasted like worm tablets though. The musk sticks were glorious, the meals were weird but not exactly inedible.

Of course he was an NCO, so he probably got better pick of the stuff.

>>31520450
Oh okay, as soon as I typed it I was wondering if it was a ration or what. It was the 'pack' that threw me off, if you just called it a rat I'd have known what you meant mate.

>Assumption is just a colossal fuckup that hasn't happened yet.

also idiotproofing isn't possible when we put it in a military context. What's "idiotproof" to a bunch of tech nerds who can set up servers drunk isn't the same as idiotproof to guys getting shot at every day.

Soldierproof is a better term, since if you can break it in any way, shape or form a soldier will do it promptly and in a simple way.

>>31518988
U must be old as fuck

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>Easy living in german army
>Suddenly ISAF
>wtf is this country
>mfw working with US Army groots
>mfw the gear is completely unadequate
>mfw the dutch ship in their Leos and we don't even have decent boots
>mfw when 5.56 vs. clay walls

Goddamned.

>>31518032
Some of the Omani where not that bad.

>>31519249
They're called ranger graves

Join NZSAS, go into bomb disposal, get to sleep regular hours because they dont want me to be tired if I need to fuck with bombs.

Have substandard gear, Such is life from poor New Zealand. Americans tell us we can take their used gear that is better than our gear.
Only thing Americans are good for.

Come back to New Zealand, get hassled by private military companies to join for a lot more money. Don't even know how they got my name or contact details.

>>31520488
sure thing Hanns, like you guys ever got to fight anything anytime.

I
S aw
A mericans
F ight

>>31520536

Sure we didn't. We're not even allowed to attack anyone. It's in our constitution.
It was all "peace keeping" and training that afghan retard army.
I would be dead ten times without you US dudes.

>>31520564
If i'm informed correctly, the German army attacked a Taliban infested village with paras and Marders in 2008. I'm pretty sure actually, has been the first (and last) offensive operation carried out by Germans since the end of WWII.

Sure sucks to be a German soldier tho

>>31516601
Did y'all ever pull pranks on the subs? Me and my father in laws sub pulled pranks constantly. But it's all fun and games till you prank an officer. Best times were movie nights on our xboxhuege 19 inch TV with 10 other dudes. We had favorite movies we'd watch over and over again
>Texas Chainsaw Massacre (OG)
>Das Boot
>Bridge on the River Kwai
>The Exorcist
>The Ring (Jap and US)

We loved watching the Jap version of the ring but not everyone could read the subtitles
>be me and 4 others
>just watch ring for the first time
>get mop and dye it black with pen ink
>get nasty workout shirt
>head into room looking like Jap bitch
>whisper into sleeping officers ear "7 days"
>funny until the next day officer duct taped me to bunk

>>31520578

End of 07 and 08. Was basically the same operation in two parts.
I don't know if paras were involved cause I've not been to Afghanistan between 2004 and 2010. Mostly afghan army and norwegians. Some german medics and instructors for the afghans to tell them where to aim.

It does. You get zero backing by the government and most allies don't even see you as an ally because you just roam around in the north where nothing happens while shtf in the south. And they're right.

I tried my best to train the afghan army and at some point I thought we were really making progress. We tried to break it down to a very basic level and most of the guys seemed to be very motivated.
Later a lot of them deserted later.
This and the inability to help fighting this war actively left me pretty depressed for some weeks.

I'm just now learning that engineers are literally the stupidest people alive.

Their job is to fix things, but they end up breaking twelve other things in the process.

They have the vocabulary of an illiterate nine year old and unironically talk like Spurdo
>AHAHAHHAAHAHA FUGGIN DIRTBOYZ MUDDERFUGGERS BENIS :DDDDDD

for those of you wondering where all the stupid people are in the Air Force, look to Engineering, or any other job that comes out of Leonard Wood

>>31520673
Is that you kyle gott?

>>31520319
Somehow I think the coffeemaker they were using was contaminated with acetone or pb blaster because they were using those heavy duty paper cups (same size though) and had a stikie note that read "the coffee from this machine melts styrofoam, we don't know why. Please use a mug or one of the paper cups"

>>31520322
>Assumption is the mother of all fuckups
Yuuuup.

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>Waterproof every single thing in your ruck. Zip locks are heaven sent
>If you're not carrying WD-40, you're the odd one out
>There is no such thing as an "extra" pair of socks. Every pair is needed.
>Shit dangling from your waist ends up rubbing you raw. Limit your gear.
>You can never know enough about land navigation
>When you're taking fire you want to hug the ground. It's difficult when you have a bunch of shit on your chest. Stop doing that.
>If you pause to admire the kill you just made, you are no longer effective. Think about it later.
>All the tabs and badges in the world don't mean shit in combat. That truck driver pulling the trigger next to you suddenly becomes your equal.
>In the winter, your focus on warmth should always be fingers toes ears and nose.
>Tobasco sauce cures the worst taste in all food
>Don't drink beer during your eight hour break in Ranger school. Eat pasta.
>Healthy feet are the most important tool for an Infantryman. Nurse them like a new born baby
>Always disseminate information. No matter how little it is. Troops want to know what's going on at all times.
>Lead by example

RLTW

>>31520862
>>When you're taking fire you want to hug the ground. It's difficult when you have a bunch of shit on your chest. Stop doing that.

True that.

>>31520467
57

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>>31520977
It's good to see other old timers posting here. I began Infantry OSUT in the 80s.

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>>31515945
-Things to keep-
>always buy quality boots
>keep a penlight on you
>keep extra gloves in your ruck
>extra underwear, socks and undershirt
>keep a good book/Kindle around
-Things to do-
>Do what you're told even if it's retarded
>get a good nights sleep when you can
>don't drink eveny weekend
>always have a DD
>if she's married don't fuck her
>use a contraceptive
>if you can't go to school find a way
>air assault is easy, just run
>airborne is easy, just fall
-things to keep in mind-
>trying hard and putting your best foot forward everyday will pay off ONLY if applied to what is relevant.
>take the training seriously but don't be a cock
>you are not the biggest fish in the pond stay humble but not meekly.
-as a NCO-
>take time to learn who your joes are
>always deal out a smoking before giving a young soldier a paper trail
>the buck stopes with you
>cultivate leadership qualities in your soldiers.
>never think those Chevrons make you invincible, you can most definitely get your ass kicked by a private.

I know a lot of this sounds cliché but take it as you will.

>>31515945
Why do they call them Bombers?

>>31521117
Because they carry the nuclear weapons.

>>31518611
It's not a fighting hole. That's why it's shallow. This is so that some hadji doesn't sneak up in the night and take out a dozen guys with a lucky mortar or rpg. But if you want to dig a full fighting hole every place you come to be my guest.

>Zip-lock everything
>You can never have too many gloves in the winter
>If an opportunity to eat presents itself, you take it
>If an opportunity to sleep presents itself, you take it
>It can always get worse
>It will get worse
>It aint over until you're actually at home again
>Hide candies etc all around in impractical places in your gear/pack that you can "hunt for" when things get real shitty

>Back in my AAFC days
>Survival Training
>Given a limited amount of food at night, have to do wacky things throughout the day in order to entertain ourselves and achieve whatever task is set

Scenario 1
>Task is to make a campfire, without any tools and only what nature offers to us
>Me and a group of 4 others head off into the nearby woods, gather a bunch of sticks
>This is gonna be easy, lol
>Have trouble lighting the sticks up, but we get there with some flint we miraculously found
>Fire started
>We each branch off and start finding shit to catch and eat, nothing that would be considered too large to handle
>While 3 of us leave, we have one guy stay back and watch the fire
>10 minutes later, we come back to him lying on the ground soaked, fire is out
>Get him to awaken, apparently he was concussed
>Only thing he can recall is having a cooking pot over his head, being smashed against, then soaked
>Must be the other sections
>Other skirmishes between us over the 2 days

Scenario 2
>Night is summoned
>Each section has its own area to sleep/eat
>We gather what little rations are handed out, and whatever we managed to catch
>Inventory even included a snake which one of our guys found out he stood on when he placed his foot just behind its head
>Lucky son of a bitch
>NCOs were fine with it, though
>Cook that bitch, eat our shitty seed
>Piss break, 3 of us head into the woods, again
>Leave 1 guy behind, again
>Thinking I should get back quick, in case something happened to alone-bro
>Get back 3 minutes later, after emptying my bowels
>Find him duct taped to a tree, blind-folded
>Wtf.jpg
>He somehow got layered twice with tape
>Said the CO and some of the SNCOs decided to raid our camp
>Jumped the guy, taped him to the tree, stole the snake
>Other 2 guys come back, nothing out of the ordinary for them
>Tell story
>Walk 500m to where the staff camp was, hide in bush
>See them finish off the snake, hardly containing their laughter

What I learnt?
>Never trust your SQN

>>31518453
OH-RAH DEVILED EGG

>>31517506

Why not Minot?

Is that still a thing?

>>31519721
Its not gay while on deployment

>>31519059
happened once during WWII on the USS Silversides
they went deep, sharpened up a steak knife, read an anatomy book, huffed aome ether, and got that appendix out

>>31518923
Whatamireading.jpg

>>31518377
Spoken like a true fucking boot POG bitch with no combat.

>>31515945
>waiting is an art form
>it's quite possible to involuntarily fall asleep during a firefight
>something being out of the ordinary is often a bad thing
>nothing being out of the ordinary is cause for great worry
>war is indeed bad
>journalists know next to nothing and they are motivated by money and fame

>>31521299
>leave one person alone when. You could always be in pairs
Fucking retard

>>31521519
It is not the place for us landstriders to understand the stories of the deep.

>>31521338
sure is

>>31521601
>it's quite possible to involuntarily fall asleep during a firefight

You've never been in a fire fight.

>>31521519
What parts don't you understand?

>>31519584
Yes most are shit and they few exceptions get dragged down by the shit ones out of Jealousy. Make sure you never date or marry a women who is or has been in.

>>31518611
Marine is being dumb. But you are worse. NG i'm assuming. You don't dig full sized fighting holes everywhere you go especially when you move to different compounds constantly. This is same for Army too so i'm going to assume your some basement dweller or POG...

How did I know?

>>31516747
Rock n roll on the surface. Below periscope depth it is like being in a building. Occasionally you will tilt up or down when changing depth. Tight turns when going fast make the boat tilt like an airplane. At max speed everything vibrates and there a slight tilt from the torque of a single propeller.

>>31515945
Why is that right guy's hole so much shallower than everyone else's? Lazy fuck.

>>31523625
And sleeping with your boots off is a no-go.

>>31523625
maybe he was on patrol, post, other working parties, maybe a squad leader who had other matter to concern himself with, or something you wouldn't know about since you played COD instead of joining our armed forces. Yet, you still decide to criticize. This goes for any subject matter involving the military to those who have not been in. It carries on to other matters in life as well. Stay within your subject matter, video games, anime porn, or whatever. When we need advice on these things, we will call you k kid.

>>31523713
salt the post

>>31523585
I'm that Marine. So I said "Army bitches", big deal. You know how shitty Marines get it here. Can't handle the banter?

>>31523706
Lmao. Wrong idiot, it's necessary to air your feet out.

>>31516904

National G 11B here

>active army is too fucking ignorant to listen to our intel when they occupy our posts after we rotate out
>9 times out of 10 get btfo as a result

>>31523719
sure why not.
You mad you got called out on being dumb? What I say is true though...right?

This is you
>I took statics in local community college, so now I go around telling everyone how this or that bridge is garbage and pointing out flaws.

>>31523740
I'm not the same guy

>>31519366

It's a thing, also for some reason every black guy I met under the age of 25 was a goddamn weeb.

>>31519366
Its actually quite popular. there's an almost jock like culture in the way military present themselves in the US but internally its nerdy as fuck. I bet an anthropologist/sociologist would have a field day(the fun kind) of looking at the cultural differences by branch, base, MOS, and maybe by sub since they spend so much time in an Isolated environment and probably develop some weird rituals and shit.

>>31519217

Unless you have a valid reason why a control bunker would have JB Weld just hanging out in a drawer....I call bullshit.

>>31524545
Cold busted, can't be trusted.

>>31524545
I dunno. Maintenance probably forgot it. I was just security and this was ten years ago.

>>31520327
so thats the only incentive? how much is it exactly for it to be so enticing

>>31517864
Lol

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>>31519505

>>31521505
All while Cary Grant watched

>>31523713
>played COD
It actually BC2 and I got out 35 years ago

>>31518344
blue skies, brother

>>31520455
not op but im pretty sure he's talking about how most civies have their feelings hurt over the gayest shit ever. infantry tells life how it is and normies dont like it

>>31524796
I want this to be true

>>31516747
This is in response to the guy talking about shitting in the woods.

In SERE I took a shit in a magnolia patch literally across a rock wall from the OPFOR as my LT and team were walking towards me. I was shitting on all these magnolia leaves as I'm directly looking at the LT trying to motion that there are bad guys like 20 feet from us. LOL also magnolia leaves are awful for wiping

>>31520310
>True Stories - the life of a 12N

>>31518340
>>31523585
>>31518377
>>31519249
>>31518288
>>31523585
>>31523729

It's literally a picture of some guys in holes, chill out

>>31524796
hahahahaha fucking wow please be true

>>31521117
the RN called them bombers since the 60's. Boomer crept up in the USN sometime after that, possibly because they misheard what RN ratings were saying to them. But who knows.

>Hadjis drink more tea than a slant in the Ming dynasty
>Hadjis smoke more tobacco than a Navajo on the trail of tears
>A good rifle sling is a great investment
>Cables, ropes, strings, jaggy shit all gets caught on stuff. Keep is simple, streamlined, low drag if you get into and out of vehicles often.

>>31518389
For some reason physical violence becomes hilarious underwater.

it usually starts out deathly quiet once the lights go out when your eyes haven't adjusted. people are trying to sneak away from the place they last saw the tagged person. You get people who lie on the floor or curl into a ball in the corner. Then after the first few hits it starts to get louder as people start pushing one another to escape the flailing. when someone taps out or we get too loud the lights come on / the door gets opened. There's always some skinny git that's climbed up onto the roof or into a storage space and has escaped unharmed.

>>31520455

apparently "you suck, fix yourself" isn't appropriate

>>31525310
Camp Mackall?

>>31526701
I'm surprised I didn't get my ass kicked when I first got out. I was an airborne infantry sergeant, 21 years of age in college. I fucking told people what their malfunctions were in my normal, loud sergeant's voice.

There ought to be some transitional classes or something offered for us when we ETS.

I did land some decent tail, however.

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Will it be a problem for me in the Army that I have a complete garbage sense of smell? I once had a dead mouse in my wall for like two days before I noticed the stink.

If I just make sure to wash my ass and clean my shit regularly, will I be ok?

>>31526938
>If I just make sure to wash my ass and clean my shit regularly, will I be ok?
Yes. But if you join the Infantry, you'll be out in the field for months at a time. You'll need to take extra care. You can tell your squad that you suck at smelling and to advise you when you stink. An Infantry squad will be closer to you than your family ever was.

>>31526985
True hygiene in imperative in the field. something that's normally a non issue such as a blister can get a bad infection and put you out of commission if you don't clean it right.

>>31523401
Literally all of it, never served though so that's why.

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>>31519836
Now try being a OR nurse in the Army and learn what hate really is.

>>31527279
I'll break it down for you.


>Only about 10% of the stories you hear are bullshit.

Self explanatory.

>there's bullshit, and there's fluff, and there is a fine line between the two.

also self explanatory.


>the marf plant does indeed have detectable neutron radiation outside the outer biological layer

Marf plant's the US navy's experimental nuclear reactor facility, it's known for having radiation leaks, weirdly set up cooling systems and occasionally setting itself on fire.


>no one will question you if you look like you personally witnessed someone shit in your cheerios at breakfast and are carrying radiation detection equipment
>that goes double if it's audibly clicking
>even if there is a piece of granite visible taped to the sensor probe

This one is pretty self explanatory to be honest.

>if you even look like an MP command staff will look the other way, usually.
Basically if you look busy or important, no one bothers you.

>no matter how skate you think you are, someone else can skate better.

Basically slang for getting by without catching flak or attention and getting away with goofing off, and no matter how good you think you are, there's always someone that manages to evade more work details than you.

>>31519070
RIP

In the scrub;
>learn to snatch sleep whenever yo can
>the UET is just as relevant a test for using something to wipe your ass than it is for eating it
>heat stroke is a thing, and it will cunt you up, unblouse your shit and undo your fly
>rolled sleeves look cool until you land in a cacti bush or spent casings fresh out a belt fed
>take comfort in fresh and dry socks
>keep a spare uniform to sleep in your pack
>there are no stupid questions just stupid people
>the one time you don't pack your shit right is the time you'll have to fight with it on your back

>>31527421
Thank anon, i don't understand all the terminology all the time but enjoy reading this stuff and hearing stories about service.

>>31516868
You get paid a shit ton of money because life fucking sucks and you're stuck maintaining the reactors while everyone else goes on liberty.

>>31523378
I've jacked off, shit, played pokemon, and read comics during firefights.


I wouldn't doubt some dumbshit has fallen asleep during a firefight at some point.

>>31519133
I kinda agree. I hate parties like that and I don't like to hang out with people that look like stock images.

>>31516223
Gay sex.

>>31528918
That's not for fun.

It's mandatory.l

how many seconds until a bored digger starts throwing rocks, /k/? around 7 seconds. i got pretty good at throwing rocks

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>>31515945
Muhreen Infantry 2009-2014, 2 deployments to Afg

>the grass is always greener. What you're doing sucks, but the guys you think are skating probably wish they were you.
>No matter where you go, bring plenty of cigarettes, dip, and cash. Especially if you're a boot.
>Your command doesn't give a fuck about your problems, no matter how good of a boy you are.
>There's only one rule: Don't get caught.

Maybe they are boring, but they're all true.

>>31528970
Why the fuck weren't you painting them cunt? Too good for your company colours?

>>31518410
>A what now?
Not him, but when you need to improvise a harness for repelling or climbing you can take a length of rope and make one. It's called a Swiss Seat.

When I went through basic we made Swiss Seats for rappelling instead of using off the shelf harnesses. IIRC we used Swiss Seats in AIT too.

>>31518448
>This. Even as a fucking AF POG intel puke E-3 I was doing the work of foreign E-5s and E-6s and generally doing it better than they were.

Well MI is meant to be like a feeder for civilian IC positions. When I was deployed to Iraq we worked alongside DIA (I was junior enlisted all source in the Army) and did essentially the same job as a new civilian analyst right out of college.

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>yfw these threads are creating better stolen valor kiddies

>>31519402

You know, I am not surprised by this, AT ALL.

>>31523739
>>active army is too fucking ignorant to listen to our intel when they occupy our posts after we rotate out
>>9 times out of 10 get btfo as a result

They do that to each other too.

It's a symptom of how OERs and NCOERs work. They'll get those bullet points even if they have to fuck things up so they can fix them, ignore what's already built up by the vacating unit so they can say they started from scratch, or change things just to change them.

I can't remember how many times I would hear Os arguing about changing formats, the color of icons on intel products, fonts etc. in the J2 because they wanted to put on their OER that they "did" something.

>>31523740
>>I took statics in local community college, so now I go around telling everyone how this or that bridge is garbage and pointing out flaws.

Did you mean "statistics"?

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>>31521299

>That poor man left behind

>Okay gang, lets split up and look for that MONSTER!

That is some funny shit.

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>>31529466
No.

>>31529187
i've painted gutters while the brigade was on resting cycle... never painted rocks, grunt mates have tho

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>>31516601
>torpedo room twister, closed compartment lights off punching tag

please tell us more about torpedo room twister

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>>31516904
>>people hide guns in the strangest places

>>31520404
Learned about anime and the glory of boardgames at the academy.

>>31518171
Dentist here,how do I get a sub gig?
I dont mind the isolation,and will perform duties as other until it requires to do my magic.

>>31524796
i want to believe.png

German here

>your two-cans-a-day ration of beer is worth unholy ammounts of stuff to other nation's soldiers
>grooming standards that allow every POG to grow a beard are not necessarily a good thing
>destert flacktarn works surprisingly well inna Afghan
>skyping home is the best morale booster since dawn of man
> there is no such thing as 'too much ducttape' to protect yer feet
> US 10th mountain div only consists of bros and /out/ characters
> on patrol, knowing that you can count on US medevac instead of Bundeswehr is a goood feeling
> digital radio< analog radio
> never ask 'whats a Schweineberg?'

>>31518892
Dwyer was top comfy

I purified water in the marines, I unironically set up fucking showers in a desert for part of my life. Dont go 1371 contract they will screw you over and force you into 11xx utilities.

>>31519254
you should of moved near a military base. security clearances go a LOOOOOOONG way

>>31530245
wow that was gay, I remember a female DI recited that whole thing during a class on parris island and the male DI's were hiding in their faces in their covers from second-hand embarrassment.

>>31530168

> German
> Calling anyone else a POG

lolololololololol

>>31528342
You weren't in a fire fight, hard core.

>>31529347
you should see the shit show of IT cybersec and networking in the military. My job consists of fixing manchildren "data" marines mistakes because they got forced into data and they dont like being pog'r than pog. Btw they get all the credit, they get plaques and shit when they leave saying how the entire base couldnt of operated without them, the life of a contractor has no glory.

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>Don't yank on the inboard cable if you're in the 75th Ranger Regiment. It scares them
>Always do a proper PLF. They teach that for a reason
>If you find yourself leap frogging, slip right. I've see people get broken backs.
>Look before you turn. Turn right to avoid collisions. Lower jumper has the right of way.
>Feet ass head is not a PLF
>Enjoy the view when you exit the aircraft
>Always hand your static line to the JM. Don't just lob it in his direction
>Take as much 550 cord from your parachute as you need. The riggers will replace it.
>Feet and knees together, Airborne

>>31530446
Do you guys even jump when you deploy?

>>31530462
I have one combat jump.

>>31529381
yeah but it's also helping us for the happening
>take care of your feet
>bring more socks
>waterproof your shit
>always have a buddy

>>31520322
>2016
>not having a sneaky tac heat exhaustion when you want a lie down and get touched by qt medic

>>31530194
>Dont go 1371 contract they will screw you over and force you into 11xx utilities.
JUST

>>31521338

have buddy who's age at my-nut.

suicide is frequently discussed...

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>>31530651
>Thinking Captn' Cunty and Sgt Cranky won't know you're shirking
>We do
>We always do...

Looks like Pvt Pants needs some more PT!

>>31523713
Delicious fresh pasta

>>31515945
Why don't they dig one big hole and sleep bunched up together? That way they can keep warm and dont have to dig as much.

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>>31530475
>combat jump

>>31530168
whats a schweineberg?

>>31530168
What's a Schweineberg?

>>31517511
>>31515945

Do they fill in the holes or just leave them?

>>31518340
Found the poolee. You're not a marine yet sport, and if you're the kind of faggot who says things like that you'll probably wash out the first week.

>>31531130
>>31531197


Google kinda implies it has something to do with german cougers (the ladies, not the cats)

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>>31528970
>Air Force, working with the army in the field
>NCO tells his soldiers that he has to go talk to some officers real quick, don't do anything stupid AND DON'T THROW ROCKS AT EACH OTHER
>he walks off and leaves us alone
>not thirty seconds later some private looks down at the ground at a big rock
>looks up at another private five feet away
>looks back at the rock
>he slowly picks it up and throws it
>hits the other private in the face and smashes his nose in, blood is everywhere
>someone else picks up a rock and throws it at the first private which causes a huge gash in the back of his head
>everyone starts throwing rocks and appear to be having a good time despite the serious bodily harm they're inflicting
>sergeant's face when he comes back to a bloody, broken formation and everyone claims nothing happened

>>31517520
>>31517528
And I thought smelled bad..... on the outside.

>>31531580
Did he think they wouldn't after he gave them the idea?

>>31530475
from when? wasnt our last combat jump like 10-12 years ago?

>>31517499
This look absolutely horrible

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>>31531106
A bit of jealousy detected?

>>31515945
whats up bubble head!

>>31531747
The 82nd jumped in prior to the 75th Ranger Regiment to secure the DZ and provide security in Afghanistan. Classified operation until about five years ago.

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>be army aviation
>find self on Air Force side of Balad Air Base, Iraq
>supposed to bro it up or w/e with Iraqi air force, captain picked me probably because I like studying cultures and am least likely to call someone a towel head or sandnigger
>have no idea what is going on, wander around helping fix things
>some guy tries to tell me something about 4 times in his language, alternating speaking slow and fast as if it fucking matters
>I see food, apparently it's lunchtime
>I brought an mre, but fuck it, hearts and minds right
>only american that bothers, but then again most enlisted soldiers were raised by microwave dinner moms
>eat iraqi food
>drink shitload of tea

next day

>on flight, brought a bag full of MRE bags with me because I cannot stop explosively shitting

sometimes you learn from other's mistakes
sometimes you learn from your own

>>31520522
Wow you're the first fellow NZfag I've found on this board

>>31531844
hehehehehehehe
aaaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

MOAR!!!!!!

>>31531844
Never eat indigenous food.

This was common knowledge back when I was in.

>>31531777
>This look absolutely horrible
No, it looks normal.
If you where arse deep in watery mud, mortars landing nearby and have a chest wound while coming under direct fire- then it could be horrible.

>>31515945
Bong, slime green.(O115)
> Gay before bed.
> Hurry up and wait.
> 5 mins early for 5 mins early for 5 mins early...
> Eat biscuit browns before biscuit fruit or have the constipation after the shits.
> Steal All the boiled sweets.
> Sweets are Morale.
> Periscope don't peek.
> You can get high by wearing a respirator for too long
> hide private purchase stuff, especially weapons
> Condoms for your weapons.
> Tampons and pads for blood.
> always rub her leg...
> If the body looks like its wearing a chest rig put an extra round in it.
> Blow up sex dolls have the highest markup price of any contraband.

MOST IMPORTANT.
>>31516951
>Don't fuck the females on base.
Too late, thanks norway, italy and americee!

> Take any chance to do it whenever you can, because before you know it that 6 month deployment has made you dysfunctional as fuck and its 3 years since.

>>31517076
>the girls are giant sluts and/or lesbians
Where i am they're either already married and loyal, or paths.

>>31518470
fucking potato mashers, what a weird MG...

>>31516904
>medic detected

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>>31531888
>have a chest wound
Nobody expects a chest wound!

>>31520592
watching Das boot on a sub must be super fucking trippy. Comfy as fuck.

goddamnit, i'm going to go play silent hunter.

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>>31531130
>>31531197
>>31531579

A complicated and sophisticated game for Gentlemen.

Pic related, just ask for it on base and look what happens.

Yes, we are that gay.

>>31520862
Hike your shit up. If you're not wearing your gear like urkle, you're going to be miserable.

Would appreciate some advice for leading

4 months in and the most important thing Ive learned is - do it right the first time

>>31521011
I like you. We need more leaders like this.

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>>31532062
threaten to court marshal them every 10 mins, keeps morale high.

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>>31516601
I'm going to need more info on torpedo room twister.

>>31532062
Lead by example. Always do first what you order your men to do. Fill a fucking sandbag, be the first one through the door, clean a toilet, breach an obstacle.

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gruntfags, is this a realistic rep of fighting?

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>>31532187
I was 11B. I don't understand your question.

>>31532055
I almost died in a dog pile like that. I had like 14 other rugbyfags laying on my chest and I couldnt breath or scream out for help. It was a weird feeling hearing everyone laugh while I was dying

>>31531811
Its kind of hard to believe some fag on the 'chan has a combat jump, can we get a story or something?

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>>31532261
You get the spirit.

>>31532187
Apparently it is now. "I fell asleep during a fire fight." "I jacked off during a fire fight."

Those dumb motherfuckers have never been in a fire fight. They heard gun fire from a far distance. People from Chicago have been in more danger than those jack ass fucks.

>>31531580
I'll never understand, it's always the milfags that come out with ridiculous but funny greentexts like this.

>yep lets start throwing rocks at each other

what are the thought processes that even lead to this

>>31532187
The film was pretty accurate in some places.

Namely idiots who didn't know what they were doing.

>>31532295
Stress.

>>31532303
you got any stories of noobs in combat?

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Lessons Learned:

The enlisted guy who wants to be the smartest guy in the room is always a college dropout. And he's always an idiot.

Also enlisted personnel prove racism exists for a reason. Same with misogyny.

Every E-9 in a conventional field ends up a male teacher, taxi driver, or a low end manager at a department store.

Every enlistedman's kid ends up on drugs or in jail.

All admin females have the same personality: sassy DMV employee

>>31518201
>MP's
Fuck I hate MP's.

My Guard unit was one of the ones that sent people to Ferguson MO during the riots and it was cold as shit. Nobody was allowed to wear gloves, and the MP's just walked around and yelled at everyone who had their hands in their pockets.

There is an old Chinese proverb that says, "A man with cold hands and warm pockets is a fool."
Fuck the MP's.

>>31530446
"i wanna be an airbourne ranger...... living the life of gods and danger...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIR3Ay-vcY4

>>31532327
female admins piss me off because their SNCOIC and other NCOS literally never yell at her because they're losers who want to fuck her or they'e the "cool, yet push over" type of NCO's

>>31532330
You can't spell wimp without the mp.

>>31532360
They accuse marines of never letting their military past go, but I'm seeing more armyfags making stuff like this.

>>31532324
I could talk about real life sweetwater... but he deserves an entire thread of his own.

But i'd rather not give the Britbaiter ammunition for brits to dislike americans.

Aside from that there's nothing green textable of funny.

My staff on his first time out in iraq in '04 on his battle baptism got into double digits in confirmed.

He supposedly took three guys out at 900m with only one ranging shot in less than 10 seconds with an L96.
He then proceeded to get 2 pistol kills, and at least 3 kills with a knife, in addition to rifle kills in the next 30 minutes.

Steal as much fuckin Class 8 as you fuckin can.

Be good or be good at it.

Never count on Staff Duty to relieve you on time. Multiply that probability if the relief are S Shop fuckheads.

Working on any detail with a S Shop parallels the pain of double arm hasty tourniquets while being applied proximal pressure.

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>>31532427
irl sweetwater hype!!!!
post thread link doooooooood
it'll be epic

>>31531580

Fucking this, if you want your subordinates to do something illegal or stupid tell them particularly not to do such a thing.

>Do not half ass anything
>Okay, you can half ass shit that does not affect you
>Nothing is as serious as you think
>Waterproof everything, even the extra ziplocks
>Take every change to eat and sleep
>If you are not sure, ask
>If you are sure, ask
>Sleeping during a gunfight is somewhat common
>Hide trailmix and candies in small ziplock bags around your gear, person and vehicle
>Inform your subordinates as much as you can, tell them everything you can
>Ban all and everything from your subordinates, so if they get hurt doing something stupid you banned you can shift the blame