>be dating girl >time to meet her parents >come over

>>31431898
Did you fuck him to show dominance?

>>31431898
He just wanted to make a show of force, you should have called him a fudd and a manlet for not owning a 12 gauge.

>>31431963
No my girlfriend has me in a chastity belt, I tried texting our bull to see if he would but he hasn't answered back yet.

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>>31431898
>be me
>many years ago when I first got into dating (like 16?)
>go to pick up girl to go on date
>"nice to meet you sir, yadda yadda Im here for femanon"
>"aw, of course, come in."
>"but dont mind me just cleaning my gun"
>so, not knowing the joke I look around for the gun and the cleaning supplies
>pic related mfw no guns anywhere to be found
>confusion.exe
>weeks later I figure that was a classic dad line they all use on their daughters boyfriends

I felt dumb as fuck, but I thought he was serious and I got excited.... but alas, 'twas a ruse.

>>31431989
Exactly, they figure nu male faggots will shiver at just the mere thought of their girlfriends dad owning a firearm.

>>31431898
Gotta keep that stock smooth, because they're gonna stick it in their ass later.

>>31431898
I really wish this kind of situation had happened to me. I probably could've had the dad in bed before the daughter desu.

>>31431898
why didnt you pull out your cc and ask if he would mind cleaning yours too?

>dad dies
>mom feeling really lonely after 2 years
>starts dating
>know he's coming over
>pull out 1911 and FAL and disassemble them
>actually needed to be cleaned anyway
>say hi and continue cleaning them
>he's interested and asks questions
>I answer politely
>mom tells him later she was super embarrassed
>he completely understood and said it was fine

I don't like my mom dating other guys, and the guy she's with now is really good to her, but I don't like who he is
Was a sergeant in Panama in the Rangers, so he's a hardass grizzled military type
Do as I say and don't ask questions type

>>31432093
Pull out my dick tell him he can clean that while his daughter cleans my asshole

>>31432312
Kek, you sound fucking autistic. I would have laughed if he just beat your head off the table for a threat like that

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>>31431898
>Fortunate enough to have gf
>Fortunate enough that gf's family isn't anti gun scum, even if he's a dumb find
>Still not satisfied

I don't know what to say to you anon, besides consider yourself lucky for that much.

>>31432364
>dumb find

dumb fudd

Fucking autocorrect

>>31432363
Well it's not like anon could have done anything if he had, both his guns were disassembled after all.

>>31432312
>dating this good looking MILF
>thank god since I've been single forever
>she tells me about her autistic son, fake interest to get dat pussy man
>invites me to her house to meet her son
>get there and see a grown full neckbeard fst fuck in the living room
>surprised as I was expecting a young kid the way she described him
>has a 1911 and a FAL apart
>say hello and make eye contact
>fat son of a bitch doesn't make eye contact and his speech is slurred
>don't know if mentally ill or just a huge faggot
>shrug it off as later the lady said I could berry my dick in her ass, shits gonna be cash

>>31432422
Exactly, which is why he should have gotten his ass kicked.

>>31432422
>implying no sidearm

Be grateful he isn't pointing the gun at you and saying if you get his daughter preg he will bury you in the backyard

>meet the parents after you meet the girl
>meet the parents after you fuck the girl
>this guy >>31432312 has his mom railed by deadbeat NCOs
Wow, America isn't Christian at all.

>>31432444

>be dating this younger guy
>he's a 4/10 bean pole but I haven't had a dick inside me since 1998
>I've got grumbly smoker's voice but he doesn't seem to notice
>pick him up from his mom's house
>feel like a pedophile but I want to have sex one last time before my vagina dries up for good
>in the car I tell him about my son
>they might get a long
>I get laid, son gets his first friend, maybe moves out
>win-win
>get home my idiot son has his bb guns all over the table
>the two of them awkwardly stare at one another and start to talk about "airsoft"
>I take this time to slam back a few shots and prepare myself to have sex with the skinny version of my own son
>cry a little
>take him in the bedroom
>8 minutes of his skinny prick inside me does nothing
>finish myself off with a vibrator
>take him home

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>>31431898
>hfw he comes to YOUR place and sees a bunch of scurry assault guns disassembled on your table
>just cleaning bro

>>31432477
If you had a sidearm still and were threatening him I'd really hope he kicked your fucking ass for being a faggot. Your mom is an adult who can make her own decisions

>>31432444
nice/10

>>31431973
20 gauge is better than 12 retard it's an extra 8 gauges

>>31431973
This. Ask him what toys r us he found it in.

>>31431898

>Prime opportunity to bond with gf's father over guns
>Can't get over your own autism

Anyways yeah OP I only like tough guy guns too.

>>31432597
I'd like to say this is a shitty bait, but knowing this fucking hole I know it isn't.

Fuck 4chan.

>>31432363
>>31432571
Holy fuck you (both) are autistic. There was no threat being made. Anon cleaning his guns is not a threat you retards.

>>31432571
I'm not that poster... but for real, idgaf who my mother dates

Hey, I'll be pulling this sort of shit whenever my little sister starts dating. Dad flaked out so I have to be the protective one in his stead. Hell, back in high school, I sent a dude three times my (admittedly lanky) size through a shop wall for badmouthing her. The rest of my family is sorta shit, so she's all I got.
I already have a reputation for being a (literally) autistic gun nut at her high school, so I got that going for me. Just gotta walk around the house with one of my milsurps slung over my back, and maybe my P38 on my belt. They should get the message.

>>31432312
Kys autist, your momma needs another guy because she couldn't stand being stuck with you

>>31432635
>I don't understand basic reading comprehension
Go fucking hang yourself

>>31432546

Abdul thank God for that.

>>31432679
no u

>>31432649

Yeah you should shit up her life and make her decisions for her anon. It only makes sense because you're such a winner

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>earlier this summer
>seeing qt 19 year old, I'm 22
>go to her house to pick her up for the first time
>her dad comes outside to meet me and is wearing a shirt with an AR on the front
>we talk for 20 mins in his driveway about guns while his hot daughter waits inpatiently and keep interupting
>give a firm handshake and drive away
>she tells me that he has dozens of rifles and their basement is basically a walk in gun safe
>she doesn't like guns at all
>she breaks up with me before I get to see them

Sometimes it really does happen

>>31432681
Whatever you say, cuck.

>>31432730
Remove thee self From my presence kebab.

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>>31431898
>>31432312
>>31432649

how is anyone this autistic

you guys are fucking pathetic

I've got a great one for this that didn't seem awful until recently
>parents divorced since I was 10
>mom has boyfriend over while I was out doing something last winter while home from school
>walk in wearing digi flora gorka pants and hoodie
>they're just watching tv on the couch
>mom introduces me and talks me up for some reason, mentions pants and then guns for some reason
>tells me to get mine ak
>go grab ak and show him how it works and all that
>dude is visibly nervous
>turns out he was an air force major but never really messed with personnal guns
>she is still dating him. Cool guy
>he was only nervous because I had a good 8 inches on him and I was a little to excited to show him my gun

>>31432649
You know what would teach her even better? Shooting up an elementary school.

>>31431898

>me 28
>dating a 21yr old college girl
>at her place. she's showing me pics on her ig
>she says trumps the worst, but has a pic of her holding her dad's AR on their land, with an american flag
>she says isn't it so american
>sureyeah.jpeg
>pretend not to know anything about guns while she tells me all about it while wearing a bernie shirt
>I think it's funny to play along and act like they are a danger

>next time we are hooking up she says that I'm a weak man because I dont like guns
>bitch doesnt know I have a pistol in my boot
>decide it's not worth it to reveal my power level
>just keep fucking her and not sure what to do now.

>>31432774
Yeah, I'm pathetic. Not the overbearing asshole who makes empty threats. It's one thing as a dad joke without the gun, but to actually take out your weapon and say this shit makes you an autistic fuck

>>31432775
he probably looked nervous because that was when he was realizing how autistic his new son in law is going to be

>>31432764
Why not remove Jamal's wiener from your mom? :^)

This is why the country's sort of gone to shit. People have started breeding like rats. Nobody cares about the future, they just fuck around.

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>>31432627
>le everyone is SOOOO much stupider than someone of my intellect

>>31432627
I'd like to say this is a shitty bait, but knowing this fucking hole I know it isn't.
Fuck 4chan.

>>31432708
You missed out by not going and hanging out with Dad after the breakup.

>>31432312
>I don't want my mother to be happy

What the fuck is wrong with you? It's not like she's getting physically abused by random Chads or something, based on what you said. She must be ashamed your autistic ass still lives at home.

>>31432702
I just try to make sure she doesn't have to deal with even more bullshit. My dad did a pretty good job of fucking things up for her, and most of the guys around here are basically trailer park fudds. I just don't want someone to take advantage of her because "daddy issues". She deserves better than that.
If whoever she picks stays in line, they'll never know I was in the picture. But if they fuck up...they're not gonna do it twice.
Basically, I want to make sure she doesn't make the same mistakes I did. If that means I need to embarrass her once or twice, so be it.

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>yfw /k/ is so shit with shotguns that they don't know 20 gauge has harder recoil on a time variable basis
>yfw /k/ doesn't even know the reason purposes or function of various gauges
why are all of you faggots such assault weapon fanatics. is skeet to hard a competitive sport for you. or did you never make it out of junior class? :^)

>>31431898

>protective fathers that are overly concerned about who their daughter has sex with
>big brothers that get pissed if you think their sister is hot, and hate any guy that tries to fuck her
>sons that don't like their mothers having a social life, dating men and having sex

the fuck is wrong with these people? are they jelly you get to fuck her but they can't? Hidden incest desires? this is bizzare

>>31432802
Probs fampai

>be me 18 fresh out of high school
>make fuck buddies with girl i just graduated with
>go to her house for fuck session
>her dad starts talking about guns
>i start talking about guns
>everything is fucking chill
>he even talks about redoing an old milsurp rifle for me. As a gift
>go fuck his daughter's brains out

That was over 10 yrs ago. I fucked that girl almost every night at her house for 3 months. But we never dated officially and I never got raifu. Overall pretty good experience. I've never had a girls dad successfully intimidate me yet. Usually we start talking about whatever they're trying to intimidate me with and actually get along.

>>31432850
What you described is nesrly every family in the modern world.

>>31432858
Cool story mr alpha.

>>31432850

found us a googleburner

>>31432798
Are you fucking retarded?

>>31432564
>Sitting in driveway
>Owner comes out and starts me up
>Climbs inside of me, and we drive down the road
>We pick up some skinny older guy
>I carry them back to the house
>Mind my business until owners autistic FTL kid is sneaking around outside.
>Watch him puff up his chest and walk in the door.
>Hear him scream something about tendies, before crying and scampering away.

>>31432879

the fuck is a googleburner

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>>31431898
>be me, picking up prom date
>go to parents house for first time
>dad is "cleaning" his gun as I walk in
>stares me down and starts to give me the lecture about his daughters virtue
>"oookay" I chuckle
>father gets visibly upset and begins to explain how lucky I'm a minor
>daughter runs downstairs
>"dad he's not my date"
>father just stares blankly at daughter
>son runs downstairs and over to me
>"he's for me, dad. I didn't know how to tell you until now, but I'm gay. He's my boyfriend."
>the dad slowly let's what his son said sink in
>the dad just blankly stares at the wall then walks back to his couch
>"make sure to pull your foot out of your mouth before you choke on that barrel"
>dad slowly nods and mumbles "enjoy the prom"

Had a great time that night. Made sure I was extra rough on his son's asshole. Mfw he told his dad he was gay and made him call me daddy all night.

>>31432878
Nah just really chill bro dads of the girls i bang

>GF's family

>mall ninja AR15
>polymer handguns
>"Do you have any polymer pistols"
>stainless 1911

underwhelming.Going to be awkward when i cuck them at the range with my superior gats.

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>>31431898
>family party type thing at GF's house
>swimming with gf in pool, chasing her around while she giggles
>uncle, "careful boy, i got a big gun"
>gf, "his is bigger"
>mfw
true story

>>31431898
>is that 20 gauge? Cute.
>how many rounds you fired since last cleaning?

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>>31432935
best one in this thread

>>31432798
>gave you a shit test
>you failed it
Just be yourself and fuck her

>>31432850
Maybe these people just care about their loved ones, maybe? Maybe they dont want to see them hurt.

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>>31432948
I cannot imagine what that father had to go through

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>>31432948
Mind fuck the dad, ass fuck the son. Well done anon.

>>31432849
I skeeted hard into your mom, me and the guys treat her as a competitive sport

>>31433006
1, just the round I shot into lashawn's chest as he was leaving my daughters room at 3am for some "fried chicken and grape drank"

>>31432649

>N-nobody but me gets to think lewd thoughts about my kawaii imouto!

This is dangerous levels of autism. Let your poor sister date who she wants, maybe she'll finally have some positive male influence on her life that isn't a deadbeat dad or autistic, incestuous brother.

BTW if you weren't an incest freak, you wouldn't give a shit about your sisters romantic/sex life

>>31433145
>I have no cultural norms because I'm a valueless loser with no culture
k

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>Be 20
>Finally muster up the balls to ask out 9/10 qte in my Bio class
>Says yes
>Tells me to pick her up later today at her place
>Skip all my classes and rush back home to get the entire place cleaned up
>Hid all of my toys in the closet
>3 hours of removing cosmoline off the walls, sweeping brass into the bin, and fume bombing my apartment with anything that doesn't smell of Rhodesia and gun powder
>Drive over at her place
>Making up plans on where I should take her and etc
>Arrive at her place
>Text her that I am outside
>*Knock knock* on my passenger window
>Roll down
>It's a guy in his mid 50's who looks like the extra protein version of Roger Sterling from Mad Men
>"Are you here to pick up femanon?"
>Reply yes
>Tells me to come inside
>She lives with her pops
>A pops who apparently was an actual fucking operator
>Walk inside
>Femanon sees that I have walked in
>Does the whole daddy thing don't be mean to anon shit
>She tells me to wait because she isn't ready yet
>Her father gives me the grand tour of his house
>Shows me the living room
>Shows me the kitchen
>Shows me the bathroom
>Shows me the garage converted into his gun room
>Has three large ass safes
>Reloading station with a stack of supplies
>FAL laying on his Tacoma's tail gate
>And random casings across the floor with a GS4 flag hanging off of the ceiling
>Slam pats me into the garage
>Asks me details of exactly our plans our
>Tell him I will be taking her to family's restaurant for a bite and determine our plans after that
>Walks to his Tacoma where the FAL is
>Tells me how he will be doing X to his weapon and blah blah
>Keeps talking when reloading a magazine for the FAL
>Almost about to shit myself until
>I realize he was accidentally reloading it with 556
>"Um Mr. Femanon, you are reloading it wrong"
>He looks down and realizes he mistaken took the wrong ammo can
>Awkward moment of silence ensues until femanon is done prepping herself

And that is how I met my father in law

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>>31432798
You're a fucking retard

>>31433187

What culture has "care deeply about your sisters sex life and try to sabotage her relationships if I don't approve" as a norm?

>other than degenerate Japan I guess

>>31433070
I don't want to see my mother or sister hurt either. but I don't "clean my guns" or to try intimidate their boyfriends, because who they date and fuck is their decision, and being super concerned with it is fuckin weird. You go out, you date, you fuck, you get your heart broken a few times. maybe you find the right one, maybe you don't. it's not up to me and not everyone gets a happy ending. that's just reality.

so why be so concerned about who they're having sex with? and it is about sex. dad's still let their daughter date..... but want to make sure you dont sleep with her. big brothers that say shit like "if you fuck my sister you're dead"

it's bizarre and normal people don't act that way.

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>>31433219
Literally every culture where women historically didn't choose their husbands or fathers/family needed to give permission. You see unfortunately for you mutt. you have no culture stay pathetic and mad, aspie.

Man you guys had it a lot more chill than I did.

>in South Dakota, was 15
>seeing a girl but not official, usually spend time after school, decent looking... with a huge rack (36DD)
>she's not on good terms with her stepdad,
>drive up to her family's horse ranch house for the first time after some months together
>step dad walks onto porch and racks a round into a 12 gauge
>I put it into reverse as the barrel starts coming down my way and peel out of there
>still did shit after school but opted not to visit her after that

Later she got sent to a girls' religious boarding school. He did a good job of manning up his stepson at least and got the kid lifting and wrestling.

>>31433145
I literally just don't want her to get into an abusive relationship or get raped. I've seen that happen a lot in this hellhole, and I've been on the receiving end of an emotionally abusive relationship because of my own shitty childhood. She's still pretty naive about a lot of things, and I don't want some fuckup taking advantage of that to harm her.

>>31433250

They have Freudian attraction to their own daughter/sister (totally normal to have occasional intrusive thoughts like this), except unlike most people they don't think "well that was a fucked up thought" and then blank it out. Instead they funnel their repressed sexual feelings for their daughter/sister into unhealthy protectiveness.

Basically guys who do this secretly want to fuck their own daughter or sister.

>>31433262
The neatest feature about that picture is it (probably inadvertently) ranks those cucks from most Marxist to least, beginning with Carl and ending with Rick.

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>>31433211
Somebody cap this shit, this is fucking hilarious.

>>31431898
>be dating girl
>getting handsy in her yard
>her dad comes out, i know he carries
>scared as shit
>he threatens to cut my hands off
>i bike home, thoroughly cucked

Jokes on him, his daughter is my sex toy now and doesn't consider him her dad because he's a terrible parent

>>31433326
Are you too retarded to do it yourself or what?

>>31433289

that was my thoughts on it. I can't help but think, "you jelly bro?" every time.

>be 17
>meat my buddies younger sister
>she's 15
>easily 8.5/10
>we chat, hit it off, she's nice and giggly
>make a comment like, "well you're boyfriend would hate that"
>oh but anon I'm single
>buddy gets a death look on his face
>"don't even fucking think about it anon"
>I just look at him like he's retarded
>she tells him to shut the fuck up
>they fight
>awkward as fuck because I'm still standing there
>he storms off
>his sister takes me upstairs to her room and sucks my dick
>get stoned with buddy
>he tells me he knows his sister is hot, but it's my responsibility to protect her because it's his sister
>wtf are you talking about dude, protect her from dicks?
>get into fight
>go downstairs to sleep on couch
>sister comes down stairs later that night, in a t-shirt and thong
>fuck on the couch
>MFW his reaction basically sealed the deal for me

>>31431898

>be 16, dating the daughter of a Baptist minister
>go over one day to pick her up and go to the local park, maybe skateboard some
>her parents aren't home
>giggity.wav
>go downstairs and receive head
>this chick is going at it like she's starving and cum is the only thing to eat
>bout to bust when I hear "Hey anonette, we just got home and WHAT THE FUCK---!"
>dad got home and walked in. Shit.
>start picking up clothes, debate jumping out window
>dad comes back with a Taurus .44 mag, points it at me and asks why he shouldn't just shoot me right here

At this point I suddenly stopped being terrified of this guy. I dunno what did it. I had like 6 inches on him, and seeing him standing there all red faced and gray haired holding this shaking gun while his daughter sat there wiping spit and precum off her face was just too much.

>tell him "that'd be fucking murder, you're really going to cop life in prison for murdering a kid over this?"
>he thinks about it for a second, then "... get out, never show your face here again"

She got sent to a private boarding school the next week. I still kind of feel bad about it, what kind of parent reacts that strongly to their past the age of consent daughter giving some dome to a guy her own age. Seems perfectly normal to me.

>>31433368

>meet
>buddy's
>your

fuck you auto correct, fuck you

>>31433053
>laughing girls.gif
Kek

>>31433368

>wtf are you talking about dude, protect her from dicks?

Kek, this is my reaction to this shit too. Like, these dudes know you no longer have to keep your daughters virgin so you can trade them for 50 talents of silver and a goat, right? Let her go get some dick, goddamn.

>>31433332
You're a faget

>>31433289
I feel like you're projecting here. Besides, Freud is about as much of an authority in modern psychology as the Roman Catholic Church is in astronomy.

At least in my case, I just feel the need to look out for my sister because she doesn't have anyone else who will. Dad's cucked by his mistress-turned-wife, and Mom is useless. It's not like I rigorously watch over her life. I just step in when I see some shit coming to try and shield her from it. Could be dating, could be classes, could be whatever. More often than not it's just advice, "Don't to the stupid shit I did," but if a scumbag ever crosses the line and needs to be fucked up, I'm ready as well.

>>31433386
You'll understand when you have kids
Hopefully your daughter doesn't grow up a whore

>>31433345
What.

>>31431898

The proper response to this is "shoot me, faggot. Just like how I shot my load in your whore daughter".

Best case scenario, the world has one less 4chan browsing autist and one more asshole dad in prison for killing a minor over his daughter's sacred chastity.

>>31433368
>>31433404
>meat his younger sister
Autocorrect was on fucking point for that one.

>>31433502
Kill yourself dipshit.

>>31433487

desu if I had a daughter she would probably end up a coal burning slut just so the universe can karmically repay me for all the hearts I've broken. I used to be a cheating bastard.

>>31433480
>Besides, Freud is about as much of an authority in modern psychology as the Roman Catholic Church is in astronomy.
Jeez no kidding, the fucker was wrong about nearly everything.

>oh you want to fuck your mother
>t. Freud
Yet now we find out that Freud wasn't even raised by his mother but by a nanny so she was effectively a stranger to him. He is the old times equivalent of your average /r9k/ anon trying to explain relationships, only he got published back in the day when nobody else was writing on it so people just assumed he was legit.

>>31431898
I do this almost every time my sister brings home a boyfriend. Its not so much a threat as it is for my own amusement.

>>31433570
You set him up for that one. You have nobody to blame but yourself.

>>31432990
You just implied your gf slept with her uncle

>>31432564
>>> 10/10

>>31433666
Well of course it's her uncle

>>31433368
Things that never happened....

>>31433289
And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

>>31433386
>taurus .44 mag
>pulls trigger
>Explodes in his face
>daughter gives you apology head while dad sobs over life choices

>>31431898
>Get a new EAA .357 mag on the way to meet parents out camping.
>Far innawoods. Have to hike 2.5 miles in.
>Hang out for a bit. Show .357 to fudd dad.
>He takes a potshot at a squirrel that's been making noise in the trees.
>He loves it.
>Out of nowhere, sister shows up with her bf of a week.
>Tall lanky pseudo numale kinda guy.
>He looks uncomfortable, but dosn't want to speak up.
>Then again, he's far innawoods with a bunch of armed hilljacks, so it's easy to see why.
>Finally he asks "Is it real? Not airsoft or something?" And points to the .357.
>Feeling like a jackass, I shoot at the squirrel dad shot it.
>Sister and bf cover their ears.
>Direct hit. Tree rat almost torn in half.
"Yeah, I think it is."
>He's silent and white faced the rest of the day.
>They broke up 3 days later.
>Sister beyond upset.

I feel a little bad, but the extended family is far worse. He would have a nervous breakdown if he was at any gathering.

IE
>2015
>Uncle Peewee is threatened with arrest if he fires his 20mm across the road again.

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>>31432948
Fuck, you're my hero.

>>31432312
You're an asshole.

>>31434005
Skeptical, but love it

>>31434005
>>Uncle Peewee is threatened with arrest if he fires his 20mm across the road again.
Uncle Peewee sounds like a fun man.

>>31432948
and then everyone started clapping right?

>>31433289
This pretty much. Never worried about who my sister dated. If the guy was a douche I'd let my opinion be known, but I wouldn't try to sabatoge her relationships. Never cared if she fucked somebody. I actually don't know to this day who she did/didn't sleep with in high school. Or if she's sleeping with her current bf. If there's some kind of abuse happening then of course I'll step in if needed. But other than that it's her life.

>>31431984
Bro, chastity is cool, but only if you make your trap "gf" wear it. It's like insurance against being gay in case she gets too big for her britches and wants to turn things around on you

Not all who have used those are cucks

>>31433262
What's wrong with Louis CK?

>>31433289
>Nobody can smoke a cigarette without secretly wanting to suck dick

>>31432849
I dunno about you, but a 20ga 870 screams "for young shooters/disabled/women" and not intimidating like the chick's dad meant it to be.

>>31434216
He's a massive cuck

>>31434252
In what way?

>>31434176
He's a 4'11 roidrage human shitpost.

>Winter 2009
>Uncle Peewee is on the local news for chopping up snowmen around town and dumping box wine on the remains.

>Winter 2009 again
>Uncle Peewee is in the ER after playing chicken with a truck while on a sled. Truck is junkyard bound while Peewee only needs an eyebrow stitched.

>Summer 2010
Uncle Peewee is fined by the city after he fucks an underground cable line trying to dig a moat around his house.

>Summer 2010
>Uncle Peewee spends a night in jail after breaking 4, yes 4, barstools on one guy's face after a drunken argument.

I could go on for damn near ever.

>>31431898
Just let him wipe his gun stock I guess.
Not a big deal

>>31432312

He prob asked you questions cause he thought you were autistic, was just curious to see if you should have a gun or not. Also why the fuck were you still living with your mom, lol.

>>31432612

>implying talking to people irl about guns is actually fun

dude when people talk about guns near me i can't help but cringe. 90% of the time they're talking about crap that would be considered shitposting on /k/.

>>31434288

Please, I need these keks

>>31432627
>>31432834
>What shitty bait!
>I better reply to it so everyone can know how shitty it is because I'm so smrt.

>>31434288
If you add in sources you could write a best selling book.

>>31431898

>getting ready to meet gf at the time family (now wife)
>hear ton of stories about her dad. Military for over 20 yrs, youngest in naval history to do some thing, blah blah blah.
>get there.
>no guns, politeness, etc.
>finally eating dinner (it was okay, mother in law can't cook)
>her dad looks at me and asks what I think about obama.
>give my opinion and he responds with "fucking nigger shouldn't be in office"
>Keks all around.
>talk about gun.
>calls magazines clips, think 22 is best round ever.
>still an all around a good experience.

He is a fudd, he has been learning at least. No longer calls them clips, think 22 is now shit, that .45 is the gift from the gods.

I couldn't ask for a better father in law. Fucker even gifted me his family heirloom guns (he has no sons, I'm the closest thing to one he has) so I got his grand dad m1 garand and 1911 that he used in the war.

>>31432049
Beaded for his pleasure.

>>31434307
I agree 100% with you.

Whenever I try to make small talk about guns irl I always get Fuddlore, muh stopping powa, Obama and Hillary are the end of gun ownership, government is in a conspiracy, revolvers ate more reliable, 5.56 is too weak, ar15 blows things up; the only time I had a legit conversation was when I mentioned I was building my own ar at a Quantico tactical and the clerk told me about his builds and the legality of 300blk ar pistols.

>>31434310
>Summer 2010
>Uncle Peewee almost explodes his RV trying to make napalm with all the windows sealed

>Fall 2010
>The township officially bans Uncle Peewee from saying "Pepper my Angus" in public after he makes a woman faint from saying it over and over.

>Fall 2010
>Uncle Peewee nearly dies making "the worlds biggest dry ice bomb." The explosion set off car alarms over 200 yards away.

>Fall 2010
>Uncle Peewee is taken to detox after trying to buy a frog suit while 6 times over the legal BAC. Said he wanted to play "real frogger".

>Fall 2010
>Police order Uncle Peewee to cease and desist after he's pulled over driving a van with "candy" painted on the side during Halloween. He still has that van.

>Winter 2010
>Uncle Peewee's neighbor's house is broken into while the neighbors are away. Peewee confronts the burglar and beats him into submission with an empty mosin stock.

Gotta go for now.

>>31433107
>slow clap ensuses that rolls into a thunderous standing ovation.

>>31434479

i had a guy in my class talking about the whole '5.56 was designed to wound' thing and i was just pipefacing so damn hard because i know sperging out about guns never makes you any friends.

>>31432850
I don't even know.

My grandparents try to get me to be protective of my female cousins but I don't really care.

If they want to be dumb then that's their decision.

>>31432708
>you didn't try to fuck the dad
Missed opportunities.

>>31431989
>tfw I'd say this when my sister brought a boy over
>it was not a joke
At least she is getting married to a pretty bro Russian dentist

>>31432649
America seems to be a great country.
Guns for everyone!
What are you gonna use it for?
Oh nuttin' just gonna act like a lunatic and scare people im gonna shoot them.
Ok sir here are your guns!

>>31434784
>bait.gifpeg

>>31433289

I don't know if it's that but I don't understand it either. I couldn't care less what my sister does as long as she doesn't get pregnant with someone with shit genes or get abused by someone. She's slept with some of my friends, I've slept with some of hers, literally who gives a shit. She's my sister, not my girlfriend.

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>>31431898
>OP's gf's dad uses the ol' "Scare the Boyfriend Into Submission with Vague Threat of Murder" technique
OP confirmed for underage.

>>31434784
>act like a lunatic and scare people

No. Most of these stories are intimidation fails, and soft little manlet bitch boys going pale at the sight of guns.

>>31432597
Lol'd

>>31433487
Americans. What the fuck is up with you and sex. You know you dont have to get pregnant right?

>>31434974
Yeah, but the bible says condoms are wrong, so I think we'd better just tell our kids to never have sex until theyre married and then act all outraged when a pregnancy happens in their teenage years. That way, we may wind up a destitute and broken family living paycheck to paycheck out of a trailer, but at least we wont have given our kids condoms, and that means that we still get to go to heaven.

Yes, these people actually exist. I've met several of them.

>>31434864
If youre not going pale at the sight of a gun in a mentally unstable persons hands you dont know what a gunshot wound can do.

I've actually been cleaning my CZ when my sister's "friend" came in and he was scared as fuck because he had no idea I owned guns and he's a liberal

>>31432312
>don't like my mom dating other guys
Are you Norman Bates?

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>>31435139
>be le me
>be cleaning my glorious russian pistol of soviet
>polishing it all around, loaded of course just in case i get robbed while I'm at home
>be muttering to myself
>"yes my pretty, your bloodlust will be sated soon..."
>"...all the chechens you want..."
>"...and all the googles, too..."
>out of the corner of my eye I see a nigger
>he startles me so I get into my tactical shooting center axis relock stance and prepare to djibouti shooty the intruder
>he shouts "WHAT THE FUCK, YO SISTA LET ME IN"
>no sister of mine would EVER date a black man
>try to shoot him
>click
>it's jammed even though I clean it every day
>just then my sister comes into the room screaming and crying not to shoot him
>clearly my sister has been brainwashed by her sjw college classes in ""sports therapy"" (read: nigger enabling)
>let them both go, hoping my sister gets raped to show her the truth about niggers

fucking noguns and liberals, i swear

>>31434505
POST MORE WHEN YOU GET BACK

GLORIOUS PEEWEE

>>31434411
But Anon, .22 is the round you use to introduce kids and nogunz to the wonderful world of shooting! Surely it must deserve a higher place in your heart because of that. You might even call it the gateway caliber.

>>31434864
To be fair, I'm >>31433272 and I'd been hunting for 4 years prior to that, guns were no big deal. Angry-faced stepdad putting a round into his chamber and moving the barrel down my way, yeah that's a big fucking deal.

Never actually did see him point it at me though because I was reversing the fuck out and it was on his property so no, I didn't call the cops.

It's all fun and games and bullshit tough guy stuff until you meet the actually fucking loony bastard who will dump a round of buckshot into your chest.

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>>31434505
>Uncle Peewee for prez 2016

>Be a mess
>Haven't gotten a date in years
>More years still since I got laid
>Not bad looking, just broken inside
>Funs and fun accessories are my only solace
>See short, kinda chubby Chinese girl at lgs
>Cute, to my now awful standards
>Wank that night
>See her there again the following week as I pickup my online order
>go back two weeks later, need cases of 9mm and 308 for a match
>again, this girl
>seriously wtf
>hit on her, shame is long gone
>surprisingly receptive
>get her number
>oh shit
>oh shit what do
>play it cool, meet up at lgs a few days later, go back to mine
>no way is this happening
>a bit of idle gun talk, watching some netflix
>she kisses me
>gets hot n heavy
>hike her skirt up, going for the homerun here
>WTF DEFCON 1
>I got trapped, anons. It was honestly huge, at least 8" long
>realize she's actually way shorter than I thought
>and not wearing a skirt, or anything at all
>she is, in fact, an SKS

>>31435575
Lol'd.

>>31434505
Holy fuck we need a thread for this

>>31432635
It kinda is

>>31435245
This is how I read so many of the stories on /k/

>>31432935
now someone do one about his guns

>>31435413
Gateway calibier, kek

>>31431898
When my sister's husband first came to visit, he brought his Remington 700 for show and tell. Based!

>>31432571
>women can make rational decisions because they get old
You don't know many women.

>>31435245
>tactical shooting center axis relock stance
Show me

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>be me
>hitting on some qt brunette from work
>ask her on a date
>obviously she said yes because I'm a fucking hunk
>tells me that I should pick her up at blah blah o'clock and that her dad will probably answer the door because he lives with her
>lmao what a beta
>make plans to bring her to mine and fuck her brains out afterwards
>get to her house
>knock on the door
>5'4 manlet englishman answers
>"Oh hello, you must be Anon!, let me just go fetch anonette"
>small frame, soft spoken, hits me that girls that don't have strong father figures are always fucked up
>oh well whatever I'm only in it for the pussy anyway
>he comes back downstairs with anonette
>"Back by midnight please."
>Okay mister man lmao
>ask girl later on what her dad does
>"Oh he's retired now but back when he lived in England, he was a British marine or something"
>tactically defecate pelvic attire
>"a Royal Marines Commando?"
>"yeah that's the one"
>In fucking disbelief
>bring girl home for 11:30
>make small talk with her dad for a while
>ask him if he ever did any military service
>"Oh yes I was a Royal Marine back in the day, here let me show you some photos
>about 40 photos of him in Northern Ireland and Iraq
>"I got a medal too you know"
>Conspicuous fucking Gallantry Medal

handed in my man card after that

>>31432798
...what?

>>31436549
Honestly, you sound like a massive fag, I hope you learned something from this

>>31434288
>I could go on for damn near ever.

please do

>>31434505
don't leave us hanging here. Need more stories.

>>31434842
My gf's mom was the one that did that
>Tried to tell me her municipal pd brothers know how to hide evidence etc.
>try to look worried
>The mom says it several more times
>try my hardest not to point out my dad was the Lead Investigator for the county

Her dad is cool as fuck though

>>31431898
>wiping the stock with a dishrag

Fudds really do irritate she shit out of me.

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>>31432948
>made sure I was extra rough on his son's asshole

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>>31432802

>>31431973
Nah, OP should of field stripped it right in front of him, calls his bluff and makes him look like a little bitch at the same time.

>>31432948
Enjoy GRIDS and hell, faggot :^)

>>31432850
family values are something that a trailer park dweller such as yourself wouldn't be familiar with.

>>31432850
you can like my sister all you want, but if you hurt her I'll go out of my way to make sure you feel worse than she does.

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Long story short Im RCMP and I tore my ex girlfriends dads basement apart because he was growing 2 tiny fuckin plants of marihuana. ripped out almost all of his electrical and flooded the whole thing.

he had to pay a few grand to pay the deductible to fix all of the damage for less than 200 bucks of weed.

>>31434505
>Peewee confronts the burglar and beats him into submission with an empty mosin stock.

Patron saint of /k/ material.

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>>31431898
>>20 gauge 870
I still don't know why these exist

>>31434005
tell me about this 20mm

>>31434505
please return

>>31436902
They make fine bird guns.

>>31436902
They're for women, children and men with soft hands

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>this summer
>swimming at lake alone
>meet sort of qt
>we click
>end up fucking back at my place
>she's amazing in bed
>says it's okay to bust inside
>ohmygodthatwasamazing.jpg
>sexual high comes down
>she admits that she wasn't on the pill
>didn't want to ruin the mood
>jesus fucking christ
>she's sort of worried
>i'm lowkey freaking out
>get ready to head to pharmacy
>plan b here we come
>we both hop in my car
>she sees my 92a1 holstered in center console
>OH MY GOD YOU OWN A GUN?
>goes into half an hour long lecture/rant
>guns aren't safe
>statistics show _____
>can go off at any moment
>unpredictable hunks of metal
>continues on
>there are more pressing matters at hand
>she forgets that she could potentially bare my child
>getting even more worried
>don't wait for her to finish
>endure her lectures as we take off
>still yapping in the store
>buy pill
>return home
>she gives me her number and takes off
Haven't called her back since.

>>31436902
I used one when I was 11 to hunt birds.

Later my short asian father in law used it when we went hunting because the 12 gauges were just too big for them

>>31434505
Home from work.

>Winter 2010
Uncle Peewee tries to make 12g "Acid" shells. Ends up with a mess of melted plastic and missing a layer of skin on his hands.

>Winter 2010
Uncle Peewee tries to become the local mall Santa. Gets denied. Dumps bleach in a mass aquarium in retaliation. All the fish died.

>Spring 2011
Uncle Peewee tries speed dating. Ends up in a fight with another man who called him a "queer". Other man is kicked so hard in the ass his tailbone is broken. He then went out with one of the girls he never got cycled to and marries her 7 months later.

>Spring 2011
Unexpected last snow. Uncle Peewee throws gasoline on his driveway and lights it, not wanting to shovel.

>Spring 2011
Uncle Peewee's office does some weekly dodgeball thing to promote fitness. Peewee is thrown out for purposely aiming for the nuts.

>Summer 2011
Uncle Peewee buys a pair of 44 magnums, holsters, and assless chaps. Walks around town like a cowboy then is told to cover up or be charged with indecent exposure.

>Summer 2011
Uncle Peewee steals a bush from his neighbor across the street to cover a spot in his garden.

>Fall 2011
Uncle Peewee makes a huge, bowling ball throwing slingshot and invites the neighbor kids to play with it. One kid got the idea to use a baseball. Ball was thrown out of sight. Lady who lives 3/4s of a mile down was seen driving by with a shattered back window.

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>>31437213
What does this Cadillac of men look like, anon?
Bless me with an approximation of his visage.

>>31433211
That's a nice story, if it's true.

Well, if it were untrue, it'd still be nice, I guess.

>>31432775
>Air Force
>Officer
>Air Force Officer
he's numale tier. Teach him a lesson and fuck your mom.

>>31437266
Not him, but an Air Force officer let me borrow some markers and some paper, once. I was told afterwards who I borrowed stuff from and chatted with frankly in the barracks.

Don't bully!

>>31436894
You're the reason people don't respect the RCMP. RCMP are chumps.

>Meet dad of eventual waifu
>Avid hunter, me not so much, but fucking love shooting
>Dad = 100% fudd, no autoloader in sight.
>Years pass, find out dad in question has excellent taste in Sci-Fi so have common ground.
>Hey Dad of my eventual wife, why don't we go to a gun show for funsies.
>Sure anon, haven't been to one of those in decades.
>2008 first panic of the modern age
>FIL (father in law) is amazed at the variety of firearms available, and proceeds to get a few rifles.
>fast-forward a few years, I'm accused of contributing to the delinquency of an elder
>FIL is my best shooting buddy and we go to the range at least twice a month.

>Wife was bonus, also true story.

>>31437252
Imagine a 4'11 man who is so buff he can't put his arms down all the way, bald as a cueball, has a smile that can loosen the tightest, most constipated bowels, topped off with a curse laden voice that can heard for miles.

Behold Uncle Peewee and despair.

>>31434005
screenshot this please

>Canada
>Start dating a girl
>Farmer family
>All her uncles have firearms, but no PALs
>Hear I have my PAL
>"Can you buy X ammo for me..."

Worked out well.

>>31434505
Anon I like your stories real or not but make them believable pls.
6 times over legal BAC is .48 for some states and .6 for others which has a very very good chance at killing you. Although not impossible highest recorded is like a .9.

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>>31432597

>>31437484
>implying glorious uncle peewee doesnt hold that record

GIT

>>31437316
You just described my uncle shorty, only he was missing the first two knuckles on all 4 of his fingers on his left hand

>>31433666
Wait is that weird?

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>>31437213
MOAR
I BEG OF YOU
I NEED MOAR

>>31434974
Yes, easiest way to do that is not fuck.

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>>31431898
>>"Oh hey anon, don't mind me just cleaning my gun."
I like how tough guy dads try that shit like it even works. Dudes watched too many movies, what a douche. I hoped you laughed in his face and smacked his little princesse on the ass on your way out.

>>31435245
>having coal burning family members
lmao

i'd rather have downies for family.

>>31432849
>20 gauge has harder recoil on a time variable basis
what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

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>>31437974

>Daughter brings home dirtbags
>Try to intimidate them with a firearm
>Let Jamal know I have guns that he can steal

That's why I'm never home when she brings guys home. I'm waiting across the street to tail him home and perform what appears to be a drive by shooting.

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>>31432597
chuckled

>>31436784
>GRIDS
Im not so sure how many people will understand what that is w/o google lmao

>>31437143
Did you watch her take it?

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>>31432850
The idea is that if you can scare them off, then they weren't serious or had bad intentions

God what the fuck is wrong wit this generation

>>31434288
For the love of god please do!

>>31434288
What a white trash family you have, anon.

>>31431973
>>31432607
>>31436753

You guys are mean.
He was probably only doing that to feel like he was "protecting" his daughter.

What you should've done, OP, was sit down, maybe chat with him about the fun in question and maybe helped him clean it.

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>>31437316
So this guy?

>>31435575
>>31435615
kill yourself

>>31437213
>Uncle Peewee throws gasoline on his driveway and lights it, not wanting to shovel.
how well did that work? been meaning to try it.

>>31438521
Not said anon, but I would imagine it probably failed. Most likely burnt for a few seconds until the water from melted snow snuffed out the flame.

Liquid gas is flammable but only under high pressure and insane heat. It's the vapor that is actually fammable where you can ignite it with a match.

Once the vapor is "suppressed by a denser "gas/fluid" it will fall to keep a steady burn.

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>>31432942
>He doesn't know what a googleburner is!

>>31439079
You think you're funny don't you?

>>31433368
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.

>>31432948
is this old pasta i missed??

>>31431898
She told her pops you were coming over.
You think he's going to show some 16 year old emo shitbird like you his good rifle?
For all he knows you might be a shitehawk of a shitbird and try to burgle his house some day after his daughter breaks up with you
But, he wanted to let you know that he will shoot you if you fuck up with his daughter.

>>31434505
>trying to buy a frog suit while 6 times over the legal BAC. Said he wanted to play "real frogger".
laughing out loud

>Police order Uncle Peewee to cease and desist after he's pulled over driving a van with "candy" painted on the side during Halloween
brought to tears

>>31434505
>>31437213
Uncle Peewee seems like the kind of person who's absolutely incredible to hear about, but awful to actually spend time with. I find that to be the unfortunate reality of characters like him.

I remember dating a girl who had a dad like that, first time I shook his hand my hand still smelled like his daughters snatch.

>>31432967
>cuck them at range
>reload every 8 rounds
good luck anon

>>31435376
>>31435539
>>31435622
>>31436677
>>31436896
>>31436997
>>31439345
>>31439516
>>31437252
>>31437820
>>31438521

>Believing any of these stories

>>31434479
>Quantico tactical
that is the most mall ninja store i have ever been in.
i see they closed their lakewood location after SAA moved and stopped getting them business.

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>>31439686

>>31439686
>doubting uncle peewee

>>31435088
>protecting your lineage
>mentally unstable
pick one, eurofilth

>>31439686
>What is suspension of belief
>What is laughing
>What is enjoyment
They don't need to be real for someone to laugh at them, anon. Would you refuse a comedic comic/book/movie/etc. just because it's not real?

>>31431898
correct response is "oh remington, thats nice I guess, I only shoot benellis"

>>31440001
Fiction simply being fiction is funny. Fiction pretending to be non fiction is not.

>>31431989
Your life is a meme

>>31432850
>the fuck is wrong with these people? are they jelly you get to fuck her but they can't? Hidden incest desires? this is bizzare

so, you cant love another woman in your family without being incest related?

I suggest you put down the 4chan for a while.

maybe find god.

>>31438521
water and gasoline do not mix.
either nothing happens or the water simply pushes and floats the gasoline away making fire other places you don't want it.
if you want to clear your driveway lazy style use a weed burner (bonus points for the ones with the pilot+handle control, those ones are nice) and bulk snomelt.

>>31433095
probably nothing, as that story was made up fiction written by a closeted degenerate

>>31440163
Loving someone and having sexual dominion over that person are very different things.

>>31433289
>spend tens of thousands of hours and dollars waking in middle of night to change diapers, feed, read to, teach about life, tend to illnesses, driving lessons, piano recitals, soccer practices, feeding, clothing, etc

>not wanting to protect that investment from retarded 16yo unemployed sperm factory

yeah, you're a faggot

>>31440208
>closeted degenerate
are they still degenerate if they're closeted and procreating? denying their nature where necessary and contributing to society doesn't sound degenerate.

>>31433898
wait, is it a glock brand taurus?

>>31434005
>Uncle Peewee is threatened with arrest if he fires his 20mm across the road again.

fuck this bullshit thread, we need a thread about uncle peewee

>>31431898

"Oh hey, is that a 20 gauge 870?"

You could've had a bonding moment, anon. Also, he could've been treating it with wood varnish, if the stock was wooden, or cleaning fingerprints off of the stock. I wouldn't assume he doesn't know how to use it, lol.

>older sister starts dating a guy
>he's pretty chill, get along with him, would actually hang out with him as a friend
>constantly acts like I'm doing the overly-protective brother routine
>gets even worse after he proposes to her
>finally just tell him I'm not doing that schtick because it's dumb and annoying, she's an adult and can handle herself, she's smart enough not to fall for a guy who'll hurt her, etc.
>dumbass dad fucks it up by subtly hinting at how much he hates the guy whenever he's over

>>31432990
¿4u?

>>31432364
We can't all be a Fortunate Son, huh?

>>31440054
Sorry, i was unaware that you are the objective stance on what is funny and what is not

>>31440506
And don't go around tonight, for its bound to take your life. There's a Bad Moon on the rise.

>>31434205
This guy knows what's up.

>>31440348
Best post.

>>31431898
Dump the girl and get in with that /k/ommando.

>literally what are women good for anyway apart from the vagina Jew

>>31441123
That's why you get a trap anon, they put more effort into being feminine, they can't get pregnant, and they're very eager to please. Plus mine is a /k/ommando.

>>31441173
>they can't get pregnant
that is exactly the problem with them. you know, aside from the mental illness to make being a woman look normal.

>>31432649
Reminded me about columns crusade a little bit. Ah good times

>tfw no non-american /k/ bf
lame

>>31434205
chastity cages are for cucks and those with an irrational phobia of being cucked

i.e. americans

>>31432312
You're a modern day version of Hamlet.

>>31432847
You're doing the right thing anon. Don't let these permavirgins tell you differently.

>>31433219
Oh I don't know, all of them?

I've never had a girlfriend and don't know these feels

>>31441524
I've never had a daughter and I don't know these feels.

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>have daughter on the way
>me in 16-18 years please at least that

>>31441634
Girls start fuckin at 13

>>31439589
>>31439589

>lol only 9mm

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>>31441653
Most start sucking dick younger than that

>GF throws me a curve ball.
>She wants her dad to meet me at my house/
>Fuck.png.
>Frantically clean as best as I can for the next hour.
>Knock on the door.
>Open it to see gf and a grumpy looking dad.
>Let them in, apologize for the state of the room.
>I didn't have time to put my AR back together.
>The dad scoffs, asking why I need something like that.
>"Well sir, will all due respect it turns people into bodies way faster than the crowbar I used to use."
>gf is mortified.
>Dad laughs his ass off.

>20 gauge 870, not even taken apart just wiping the stock with a dishrag
>not even taken apart just wiping the stock with a dishrag
Maybe he had already cleaned the insides and was finishing up?

>be me
>be 16
>heavily into Firearms but Europoor
>meet dutch qt 3.14 at a party
>hit it off that night and become highschool sweethearts
>one week later
>show up at her house
>Dad is super friendly and talk is going well
>turns out he is ex-military and a high rank as well
>works for a company now
>asks me on my stance about firearms
>ohfuck.png
>tell him I like them and they genuinely interest me
>leaves the room
>awkward silence builds up
>returns with Glock 17 and hands it to me
>is impressed at my safety checks, ways of handling it and compliments me
>daughter smiles at me
>turns out they go to Texas annually and daughter and father enjoy shooting funs
>realize I love this girl even more

And that folks, is how I met my girl and build up a friendship with my soon to be FIL

>dating girl
>go to meet parents
>mum is really lovely
>dads alright- but decides to pull out his phone and show me videos of him shooting groups with a 9mm glock in a pistol carbine stock
>hadn't even mentioned that I was into guns before
>he sits there with a smug grin
>show him a video of me shooting charging wild bulls with a .416 rigby
>I get to be smug all night afterwards

She was fucking odd though, broke up like 3 weeks later

>>31431898
did he clean the trigger ?

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>>31432597
zozzle

>>31441321
Unlike euros who enjoy being cucked.

>>31431989
Shit it's a joke? My ex's dad was legitimately cleaning his CCW when I met him.

He also let me shoot his AR. He was cool. To bad his daughter was a crazy bitch.

>>31432571
women are retarded and can't make their own decisions.

>banging some broad
>get roped into going over to her aunt and uncle's house
>aunt offer's me BBQ
>uncle has the gator game on
>talk about AR's in between plays

fuck, i should have stayed with her

>>31431898
>met the dad for the first time
>it's at a farmhouse in a 200 acre farm
>he literally bought a wasr 10 for his wife that day (anniversary present I later discovered)
>he sits me down for the interview process
>gets stuck while taking apart the gun
>offer to help him with the sticky retaining pins
>he approved of me right about then
>then I got to meet the mom
>24 year RN, emergency room triage nurse. God knows what she's seen.
>interviewed by the mom while helping the dad clean the anniversary present
>he forgot the "rest of the present" in the car
>it's two spam cans of ammo, soft case, and other odds and ends
>I get the mom's seal of approval to date her daughter

I am more scared of that woman than I am my government, holy shit

>>31435015
>bible says condoms are wrong
American education at work.

>>31440809
That's okay, just don't let it happen again.

>>31433289
When you're so cucked that you don't understand simple family values and can't tell the difference between sexual attraction and just simple fucking affection and care.
Why do you even keep living just end it now.

>>31432850
Some people actually dont want bad stuff happening to their family members. Therefore, scaring away a potential danger isnt a bad idea.

>>31432935
>be me
>sitting in some slightly autistic kids closet
>door opens and light shines threw
>am I going to a new family finally?!
>nope, autistic kid grumbles about showing him whose his boss
>get put out on the couch
>full grown 30 something autistic manchild takes me apart
>feels bad desu
>he's putting his hands all over my inner parts
>they're private, mang
>the 1911 is looking at me, laughing like usuall
>untill the man child stick his finger down his barrel and it gets stuck
>whose laughing now, bitch?
>hear car pull in driveway
>kid gets up
>puffs out his chest
>screams
>"MY MAWM HA-HAS CHICHEN TENDIES IN DA OUVAN!!!!!"
>totally not what he was going to say, obviously
>he gets embarrassed
>rums to his room and cries all night
>guy whose dating his mom is a beta
>kinda of awkwardly laughed and slinkys over to me
>5'4", 140 lbs
>puts me back together
>10 mins later I can hear HIM screaming at the top of his lungs while the manchilds mom and the other man bang
>they finish 30 seconds later
>guy comes out and picks me up
>takes me home
>never see willy, the 1911 again
>serves that bitch right, he was always laughing at my embarrassment

>>31441653
>>31441662
Maybe if they've got failures for fathers.

Teaching a daughter that she's got value besides on her back and that that shit means something is possible.

>>31440269
This. When you lot have kids you'll understand. This baby shit is exhausting and we all know how retarded hormones can make a teenager, I also tell my kid not to put her hand on the stove because it will fuck her up. Oh the horror.

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>>31442398
>>the 1911 is looking at me, laughing like usuall
>>untill the man child stick his finger down his barrel and it gets stuck
>>whose laughing now, bitch?

>>31434974
It's more about the being a whore thing. Once a whore always a whore

>>31438020
I think he means time-dependent. Like the time-dependent Schrodinger equation.

>>31442588
do translate that into layman's terms if you are so inclined.

>>31442715
It was just a shitty joke to be honest. QP has little use in shotgun recoil calculations.

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>>31432597
i'm going to use this

>>31434005
That should be EG. Meaning examplia gratia, "to give an example". "i.e." means "id est", "it is".

Exampliae gratia:
>My family are a bunch of fun rednecks, e.g. my uncle fires his 20mm with reckless abandon.

>I own the best CC in the world, i.e. an Obrez.

>>31442823
I've never known this. Now I can swing my dick at little boys in confidence all the other Roman Senators will not laugh at me when I use them right this time.

>>31432775
that sounds like a good size cock anon

>>31432834
I'd like to say this is a shitty bait, but knowing this fucking hole I know it isn't.
Fuck 4chan.

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>>31432597
Give this man a hand!

>>31442277
Yeah no. Bibles don't even mention condoms, among other bullshit the Roman Catholic Church spews.

>>31432775
Air Force officer, probably on the level of my mother. She managed to fire one whole mag through an M9 her entire commision.

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>>31432597
first day here huh

>>31431898
If he took it apart he wouldn't be able to shoot you in case you tried fucking his daughter during dinner

>>31443125
It does say not to waste your seed in the Old Testament.

>>31443125
>Bibles don't even mention condoms
Good thing then that Catholic doctrine is to base their faith equally on both scripture and tradition then, isn't it?

>Protestants whining about "only the Bible" when they can't even read the original version of it and have to rely on a translator's interpretation
>think they're somehow superior to Catholics for doing so
Keep deluding yourself.

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>>31432777
>checked
Kek wills it

>>31432847
>But if they fuck up...they're not gonna do it twice.
Yes they will because you won't do shit with a hundred year old bolt action and pistol.

What're you gonna do, murder them for hurting your widdle sis' fee fees?

>my mom's boyfriend

>>31443219
True, but without getting into semantics, it's kind of a retarded idea.

>>31443236
>keep deluding yourself
What are you referring to? Religion, institutionalized spirituality, or anything that says "my way is the only way", is full of stupidity.