>be me >no-fun UK resident >28 years old >shitpost

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>be me
>no-fun UK resident
>28 years old
>shitpost on /k/ and irc chat channels
>try to be /k/ and bought a Zombie Knife, pic related
>Zombie Knives get banned in UK a few weeks later
>wew lad
>meet someone in a local irc
>tell them about my zombie knife
>they think its cool
>get to them them over a few days of talking
>get their mobile #
>eventually get them to tell me where they live
>wow its like 6 blocks away hahaha
>go offline "suspiciously" to be funny
>show up to their house late at night
>planning on bringing my zombie knife and a funny mask to scare them
>call their mobile with a voice modulation app
>them: "Hello?"
>Me(distorted): "look outside"
>I see them turn on their light
>they look outside and I'm standing there with the mask holding up the light
>they freak out and run away form window
>laugh and try to call their mobile again
>busy
>busy
>huh, guess they are tired
>start walking home
>sirens going off in distance
>"oh shit, prolly some chavs fuckin around"
>gets closer
>a fucking police helicopter flying over the woods behind my friend's house
>FUCK
>run home and hide the zombie knife and mask in the closet
>throw my phone in my neighbors trash after smashing it

what do? it's been like a week and so far no one has come to my house.

I think I'm in the clear, but my friend never comes on irc and their phone has been going straight to voicemail since.