Just picked up pic related from a dead heretic and now it's

go back to /v/

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>>30920078
The fuck you say? HERETIC

>TFW you've played Black Crusade so many times you know exactly where that picture is from and what page.

GOD DAMMIT.

>>30920060
Ask your Commissar for advice then listen to what he has to say about using captured unsanctioned weapons.

>>30920147
OP here, sounds reasonable to me.

>>30920147
Commissar drew his laspistol on me but my new bolter fired by itself first.

What now?

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>>30920180

>>30920180
>By itself.

Dark Mechanicum here. The bolter does not do anything unless the master forces it to. You have some power and the minor daeamon that possessed the bolter knows your true thoughts. It is only serving the will of it's master.

Would you like to know more?

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>>30920305
yeah?

>>30920060
BURN WITH HOLY PROMETHEUM AND REPORT FOR PURIFICATION.

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>>30920060

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>>30920347
>10 posts before the correct answer has been posted

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There is only one correct answer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vljHBXA3UKE

>>30920305
>desire to know more intensifies

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Where did you say you were stationed guardsman?

btw i am a gril

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>>30920674
Post images of thine breast or promptly vacate the premises.

>>30920674
stuck on boring duty on Snopes World for a few.

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oh gee thanks guardsmen! a perfect gift.

>>30920060
You burn, heretic, that's what you do.

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>>30920060
>tfw no Imperial Guard novel about a Commissar trying to execute traitors too deaf to understand him
>you are guilty of grievous heresy most foul, how do you plead
>WHAT'S THE HEARSAY ABOUT OWLS, SIR?
[tinnitus intensifies]

>>30921413
>Emperor damn it guardsman I told you not to stand near the basilisk!
ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE A LISP?!?!

Look, its this piece of SHIT thread again and pre-teen edge game

Keep it to /tg/ or /lgbt/. READ THE FUCKING RULES

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>>30921529
>stop having fun guys REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>30921529
fuck off newfag. wh40k has been part of k for years, stop being a bitch.

>tfw sanctioned psyker
>tfw everyone in your unit always looks like they're going to shoot you if you so much as sneeze

But hey, at least I get my own room and the psychic hood I got is one of the ones with AC built in. Being able to shoot lightning out of my brain is also pretty nice, makes a great party trick.

>>30921445
>dammit guardsman, you could hang for this!
NO I DID NOT BANG YOUR SIS, SIR!

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>>30921529

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>>30920305
How do I get it to transform into a humanoid Raifu like in Upotte?

Also how do I convince it to marry me, and then bare and help me raise a family of half human/half Bolter Daemon children?

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>>30921687
>wishing to breed with heresy/the product of heresy

>>30921729

BROTHER I NEED YOUR HELP SHOVING MY BOLTER UP THAT HERETICS ASS

>>30920633
$170 for a soldier in WW2? I feel like the Garand alone would be more than that.

>>30921747
>$170.00 in 1945 had the same buying power as $2,258.95 in 2016

Considering $300 in 1945 could buy you a car this sounds about right.

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>>30921729
Excuse me sir, but I'm trying to have an important conversation with the nice Mr. Mechanicum here.

Now either provide me with an Imperially sanctioned Bolter bride, or quit interrupting us!

>>30921599
Don't expect me or my Armageddon Pattern Autogun to stop a warp hound from dragging you into the warp for lunch

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>>30920078
>/v/
Is it newfag night or something? I swear to Christ

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What's going on in this thread?

Is Rogue Trader that popular still?

I didn't know they kept making stuff for it.

>>30920180
It's got a mindreading daemon in it, think Imperial thoughts and force it into compliance. Focus kn strengthening your will the chaotic nature of the battlefield is likely to enhance its corruptive qualities, chain sone sanctified aquilas and douse holy ointments and smokes upon it, remove and purge any idols to the Emperor's conquest of the Empyrean Realms as taint sets in. Vigilance and forthright love of the Emperor's Holy Imperium is key.

>>30920078
>/v/

>not /tg/

>>30921687
>you will never shoulder FNC and surreptitiously sniff her cunt
y eben lib DDD:

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>>30920060
Please tell me your location so that you may be disciplined... err I mean helped with your problem

>>30920147
This is also a good idea

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>>30920060
Upgrade to something with more oomph, duh

>>30921863
>>30921747
Inflation has gutted the working class - and it's intentional

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>>30922138
thats a picture of my wife. Sister Hellsmasher.
We got marroed after we met during a bording action on an eldar craft world. Her devtion the throne is rivaled by her devotion to muh dick.

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>>30922888
Wait, if you're a Space Marine then how the hell do you have a wife?

>>30922972
Not an Astartes.
Shock trooper
Cadian 88th under General Thade.

We do the missions that need Space Marines but there isnt time tk wait for them to show up (if they show up)

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>>30922888
>married to a sister of battle
Nice try, heretic

>>30921743
I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT GIVE THE CLERIC SASS!! ADJUST THE GAIN ON YOUR AUDIO OUTPUT, BROTHER!

>>30920112
i dont think that this is good thing to be proud of

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>>30921413
>>30921445
>>30921608
Top fucking kek I lost

>>30923008
Ignorant fool. The sisters have no vow of celebacy.
We were wed with the blessing of a high priestess in her orders convent. My skill in battle and dedication to Him on Earth made quite the impression on her.

May Horus take you if you call me a heretic again.

Why do you never see a bolter in 40k fluff with a stock, or God forbid shouldered?

Would the 40k equivalent of the ATF show up at their home world and shoot their servitors or something?

>>30923536
The IG have them. The SM have a digital HUD inside their helmets that links to their weapons.
There are several variations of the bolter, some do have stocks, but I woukd assume they put the butt of the bolter against their giant shoulder plates and use them as a stock.

>>30923520
What craftworld did you board? Does'nt Mat'ter? Because unless it was one of the small shitty ones and you had a chapter worth of space marines helping you, the only way you got on a craftworld was if the eldar let you on.

>>30923545
>let me
We go where Him on Earth wants us to go. Dont know the name, dont care. His holy Inquisition sent us in with the Sisters. We didnt find what we wanted so we left. It was bloody, but isnt it always? Their craft world still floats the stars, but with a few pieces missing.

>>30920180

Join chaos, 6 get

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>>30920060

>>30923544

So their either shooting slower than they should because they aren't going to manage recoil worth a shit with both hands on the weapon, or they are shooting underpowered guns in order to psuedo-shoulder fire with one hand and no stock.

Jeses, Astarte's, this is why the Raptor chapter won't tell the rest of you where they live.

>>30923871
Spess magic.

>>30923871
The power armor probably has recoil stabilization systems on top of the augmented STRONK Space Marine inside of it. They train for decades with bolters before deploying.

>>30920195

h-hang up

>>30923871
>one hand shoulder firing
Where are you getting that from?

Keep in mind a sace marine is roughly 500lbs of muscle wearing close to a ton of power armor....why would recoil be an issue in anyway?

>also just enjoy the lore, it doesnt always make sense because it doesnt have to

>>30924416
The standard pattern Bolters are also a .75cal/19mm hybrid grenade launcher/gyrojet rifle, so there is still felt recoil.

>>30924642
less than a traditional round

>>30920060
and then OP was put on an Inquisition watch list

>>30920060
Turn yourself into your commissar IMMEDIATELY

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>>30920078

>>30923871
Only Heavy Bolters are full-auto. The rest are semi or burst.

>>30923871
Bolters are rocket propelled so don't have recoil. Any mention of recoil is just fan-wanking.

>>30924416
>>30924705

In a universe where armored insect dinosaurs exist who apparently ignore all laws of thermodynamics...

I do not understand why all non-specialized space marines are armed with anything less than an LMG equivalebt to the 2A42 automatic canon.

>>30920195
Just let it ring out.

>>30926006

> Newton's 3rd law is science fiction
> Rockets exert no force on a launch pad upon lift off

Come on, anon. 3 seconds of critical thinking and you wouldn't have posted that.

>>30926006

No they use a cartridge for the initial propulsion, the rocket doesn't take effect until after it leaves the barrel.

Stick your dick in it

>>30923871
Bolter have no recoil. They shoot small missles

>>30926291
They still have a standard launch propellant, the rocket ignites after it leaves the barrel.

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Found OP.

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>>30924362
>h-hang up
>>30926174
>Just let it ring out.

Hi Guardsman, you didn't take our call, so we decided to drop by.
I hear you found a new play thing, care to show it to us?

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>>30922784
>Please tell me your location so that you may be disciplined... err I mean helped with your problem

HERE YOU GO, /k/OMMISSAR!

where can I learn more about the 40k universe? book recs? I don't have anyone to play tabletop shit with or know how to play it

>>30923520
Are you autistic? Space marines dont have sex. They dont live for anything other than war.

Google 1d4chan space marine schedule. 15 minutes of free time a day.

Lurk more /tg/, before trying to fuck a sister of battle, faget. It would never happen

>>30926401

But how do we know they don't have sex? Look at our primary sources. Do those sound unbiased to you?

>>30926400

You need to find table-top game shops and listen to the older nerds tell the tales. WH40K is an oral tradition kept on through the decades by the power of greasy beards and gassy farts

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>>30926400

Start with the Imperial Guard series, Gaunt's Ghosts, the various Space Marine omnibus and the perhaps the Horus Heresy series. 15 Hours is the first book in the IG series, it really sets the mood for the 41st Millenium.

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>>30926499
>pic

LOL, small game.

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>>30926574

Step up, son.

>>30926459
>being this desperate

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>>30923536
Very rarely they will have an armbrace as seen on this model here (not mine plz no bully)

>>30926401
the Sisters of Battle are not Space Marines. They are mortal women, part of the Imperial Cult. They have regular sized power armor.

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>>30926645
see >>30926915

The sisters are not Space Marines and in no way did I imply that I was a Space Marine. So tell me, who is being autistic? If you are going to talk about lore, try reading some of it first.

The sexuality of Space Marines is not even hinted at apart from the Primarch Fulgrim calling a singer the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. However, there is sex all over the place in the Imperial Guard novels and Commisar Ciaphas Cain. The good Commisar banging out several women before finally dating an Inquisitor. It is in Cains last stand that it is revealed that the Sisters of Battle do indeed fuck.

I would venture to say that Space Marines are capable of sex, but have been conditioned to ignore the urge. With a few chapters being sexualy active. Bjorn the Fellhanded of the Space Wolves often made remarks about how he would ravage a certain female Inquisitor were he not technically dead and in a dreadnaught

>>30920060
Shove it up your ass.

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>>30922888 Like the sisters would have any devotion to anyone's dick but the God-Emperor.

>>30926985

If the Space Wolves are not regularly banging tall fair-haired wenches, some designer did not do their job when compiling their source material.

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>>30927182
I am very devoted to Him on Earth, and he shows me favor by keeping me alive. My wife says that when she saw me slaying eldar I looked as though I was bathed in the light of the Emperor. Though my Commisar said it was likely flash from the eldar Corsair exploding outside the veiw port.

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>>30927206
I believe they are, the books are just about the battles, not the personal lives of the Space Marines. After all, we read these books for action not romance.

>>30921687
This might help.
http://thetrashcan.co/a-beginners-guide-to-having-sex-with-your-gun/

>>30920305

Nice try Hereteks, OP is a true servant of the emperor and knows that the best thing to do with that bolter is to turn it into the Mechanicum to be destroyed.

Nobody needs a bolter! If you really need to defend yourself, simply use a power sword

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What the Hell is the OP Guardsman even doing he should be using his Lasgun.

>>30927420

>Based Blood Angels

By the Emperor, and with all respect to each Chapter of His Blessed Astartes, the Blood Angels surpass them all.

Not merely because of combat ability or intelligence, but I'm sure there are chapters that surpass them in these aspects, but because they are the most like us. They're one of the few chapters that subscribe to the original thoughts of the Great Crusade, and they are the most patient and loyal to us lowly Guardsmen than any other.

>>30927580
lasguns a shit, autoguns are Emperor tier

IG Can't carry worth a shit so they got rid of it in the 32nd Millennium >>30927626

>>30927879

>>30928004
i'll take your silence as approval

>>30927580
that's a really bad painting.

Up was my reply.

>>30927879
>autoguns
Spotted the spess fudd.

>>30926459
Burden of proof, friend. Prove to me they do.

>>30928400

Exhibit A: Your mum.

(I also offer anon as further evidence that the genetic manipulations conferred onto Astarte's cannot be passed on to offspring.)

>>30926459
For one, when the Emperor's Children get Slaanesh'd in Fulgrim and all their civilian and army subordinates descend into a mass orgy, the spess muhreens themselves don't really know what to do and just start ripping and tearing.

>>30927626
>only chapter that shows humans patients...
>Salamanders maintain contact with their families and even sometimes moonlight as farmers
>Ultramarines make it a habit to leave every place they go better than how they found it.
>Raven Guard like to inspire and work with the IG

>>30922448
I'm running two RT campaigns every week.

put yer dick innit

>>30928735

>All those chapters
>Not one mention of the Blood Ravens

>>30928538
Bjorn bangs hot bitches and pines for them after being put in a dreadnaught.
>>30929417
I disnt think I needed to give a name by name run down of all the chapters that are friendly with humans and not all stuck up

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Bjorn the fellhanded, slayer of tang, destroyer of hymen, seeker of split tail

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>>30929633

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>>30927879
>autoguns are Emperor tier

This is a wise and pious citizen of the Imperium. The Emperor himself appeared to mankind in early M1 as a humble weapon engineer and gifted mankind with the M1911 Stubber, chambered in .45 Apostate Cleansing Pattern ammunition to begin proving the Imperial Truth. In the grim darkness of the 40th millennium, it it still wielded by the righteous to remove the blight of heretics, mutants and xenos from Mankind's Galaxy.

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>>30930408

> The Emperor Knows

>>30922423
*muffled screaming* FUCKING HERETIC

>>30930438
The Emperor protects

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>>30920060

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>>30930703
may we all walk in his light.
War never changes....
>yfw you realize the M1911 is STILL used
>yfw you realize the heavy stubber ks an M2

Having a GF cures alot of this.

Unless shes into it too. In that case, enjoy your nerd GF.

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>>30931252
>we'll never have laser weapons because of girls

Sounds about right.

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>>30931173
Those prototype stormbolters, though

>>30931778
is it Storm or Twin-Linked

>>30931926
I believe this qualifies as storm, since one trigger, two chambers. Twin linked is more two guns duct taped together.

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>>30926400
1d4chan or just the 40k Wiki if you want it in text form, if you want video format check out "If the Emperor had a Text to Speach Device" for a general idea even if its parody. If you want to skip to video lore go watch the vaults of terra on youtube.

>>30926400
Ciaphas Cain is the best book series ever bar none just read it ya git.

The Emperor demands I bump this thread

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>>30931926
Storm link AR anon?

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>>30926400

Ignore all the other reccomendations. Yeah, they're good enough for gory war porn, but it's not what 40k is ABOUT.

If you really want to UNDERSTAND 40k, read the Enforcer trilogy by Matthew Farrer. Out of all the Black Library authors he's the only one to really, truly, GET 40k, in all its terrible awe and dark grandeur. It's criminal that he hasn't written more stuff.

>>30933609
>It's criminal that he hasn't written more stuff.
BECAUSE IT IS SHIT

>>30926244
Nice fan-wanking there. Next you'll tell me bolter shells don't have a depleted deuterium core and that it's just a trick by techpriests to keep bolter secrets safe from other techpriests.

>>30933633
Isaiah go to bed.

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THIS THREAD IS ORDAINED BY HIS MOSY HOLY AND VENERABLE INQUISITION AS HERESY.

ANY AND ALL FOUND WITHIN A 300 KILOMETER RADIUS OF THIS AREA SHALL HAVE THEIR BODIES DESTROYED AND THEIR SOULS CONTAINED TO PREVENT ANY AND ALL SPREADING OF HERESY.

ALSO WHERE IS THAT DAMNED TECHPRIEST? MY CAPS KEY SEEMS TO BE JAMMED YET AGAIN.

>>30926400
If you want to get in to 40K start with the Horus Heresy. Specifically Horus Rising. It gives you a sense of how much potential the Imperium has and how awesome the Emperor truely is, after all, at this time he walks the stars with his vast armies. It also gives you a sense of how loyal the Space Marines are and how they believe they have to exemplify the best of mankind and are doing whats best for all humanity among the stars. There is also some very well written action.

>>30934546
Seconded. Start at the chronological beginning then work your way forward with the Age of Aposty and then 41st millennium stuff.

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>>30922423
>>30930485

>>30934947
Truthfully you can start anywhere and it will make as much sense to you as it does to the characters in the book. Its been 10,000 or so years since the Emperor walked the stars, and most will never get to see holy terra, fewer still will get to see the palace and but a fraction of a fraction will ever see the Emperor in person.
Its sad really. But I guess it makes as much sense as any other religion.

>>30935563
Well, if you're a weak, useless psyker you're pretty much guaranteed to see all but the Emperor.

Right before you get fed to the Golden Throne.

>>30935563
*Sad that there is a tangible god/god like being that exists and is technically available for you to go, see, touch and speak too. One that is documented as having physically touched planets and turned the course of the galaxy. I am an athiest, but I want there to be a god. One that I coukd understand in the way the fictional people of 40K do.
>why didnt god save my mom from cancer?
>because he is in the middle of a battle agaisnt the four dark gods of chaos. Duh!
>also he isnt just sitting around some invisible place waiting to stop all the evil in the world "some day" that is caused by a being he created. He is fighting Evil Gods errrrry day, all day.

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HERETICS EVERYWHERE!!

>>30926584
>
>Step up, son.
Gah, how does one aquire/make this?