Be honest, have you ever slept with your AR. I did it last

>>30782524
I slept with it all the time in basic. It's comfy, I liked having it, but it's better next to my bed than in it, and safer.

I only sleep with milsurp with a full wood stock.
Much comfier, and better suited to spooning

>>30782597
What is the proper etiquette for spooning with your milsurp?

>>30782524
I cuddle my garand. Haven't done it in a while though. I should make sure she knows I love her.

>>30782712
just keep your dick away from the parts that move trust me on this

So what are the equivalent orifices on a rifle?

Mouth = barrel?
Anus = ejection port?
Vagina = mag well?

Lets be honest here /k/. Have you ever had sexual relations with your rifle? How did it go?

>>30782732
>she
it's an old marine DS

>>30782712
Leg over stock
Arm under
Muzzle up
Share a pillow

Personally i like dick to action. But some like dick to trigger.

>>30782750
There is no equivalent. It's a rifle. A sexy, sexy rifle

>>30782750
i fucked my ak47

dont do it the bolt hurts

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>>30782524
I dont have an AR, but ive slept with all my rifles.

Shared a sleeping bag with an M240

bitch was fuckin great, man

>>30782848
>M240
Didn't know there were people that liked fat chicks here.

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I have taken multiple naps with my PTR91; I like having the buttstock between my knees, my arms around her ample handguard, and my cheek against the cool steel contours of the barrel and triple-frame.

>>30782755
mechanical objects are always female
always
no fucking exception

>>30782865
Woke up with my hand in her ejection port "on accident"

>>30782875
I know this feel.

I t-thought I was the only one who sleeps c-cuddling with guns

>>30782556
It is comforting having it close, I'll give you that. Spooning it in a sleeping bag is debatable.

The one time I didn't at OSUT my DS made me do the "Christmas Tree". I did a greentext of it, and I've seen a screenshot of it in /k/ humor a couple times. Too drunk to write it again, think I posted it under my old trip DrunkAnon.

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I once slept with a rifle without knowing she was an SMG, am I fucked guys?

>>30782964
There are no laws against mechanico-erotica, Anon.

>>30782524
Mine leaked oil.
But hey, now my sleeping bag won't rust AND I smell like 3in1 oil.

Do people not sleep with guns normally? I sleep with all my guns on my bed when my gf isn't staying over

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Slept with my M249 and spare barrel a couple times. Other people in my company think it's weird. Then again, it's an SMC.

>>30782524
To be honest... When i first moved into my own place i got robbed. It was the previous renter, i was a fool to not change the locks after buying the place. Started sleeping with t53 because it was all i had at the time and super spooked.... I am become /k/ and part /pol/ ever since.

>>30783033
No anon. Normies dont typically sleep with guns. everybody here is as fucked up as you and i are unless they military.

>>30783163
You know what? It might just be me but the 240 (b) is that chick at the gym who's awoke and tight and has that thick hip, firm bubble butt who you're not sure you wanna fuck cause if you fuck up she'll bite your dick off and you worry about dominance being an issue in the bedroom.

>it's worth it.

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>>30782964

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>>30782524
I slept with a fucking M4 on and off for 4 years, haha. I always fucking had to tuck that thing into my sleeping bag/bivvy sack with me, too. I tend to roll a lot, so I'd always have to readjust that bitch in the middle of the night. Sometimes I'd wake up with picatinny imprints on one of my arms or legs. But you know what? It's wasn't all that bad. Always had the faint smell of CLP tingling my nostrils as I dozed off to sound of artillery far in the distance.

Who said the military couldn't be comfy?

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>>30782875
Are you me? I've slept with Jisuri exactly like this every night since I bought her

>>30782524
No, OP. I slept with my wife.

>>30783557
I'm sorry

>>30782524

I've slept with various guns next to me at times, although never under the sheets. I worry too much about rust and things. I just find their presence comforting.

Accidentially. Fell asleep after watching tv and fingerfucking it in the bed. Yeah... the sheets were full of lube and I had a huge imprint on my forehead from the front sight post.

Never again.

>>30782733
Story?

>>30782524
I share a bed with a jew gun.

>>30782524
While I don't own an AR I frequently sleep with my AK and Mauser.

It's comforting.

>>30782524
I have a problem with moving my arms and hands while i dream. That would be a very bad idea. Like they dont disconnect from my brain when i fall asleep sometimes.
>reached for boobs only to have my hands pass right through them
>slap girlfriends while doing something in a dream
>mattress textured invisible dream walls
Would probably end up shooting myself.

>>30784266
>sleeping between a Russia and a German
You are Poland?

>>30783342
>you know what?
>>30783291
>you know what?
No, please, tell us what.

>>30784287
>mattress textured invisible dream walls
Fuck that would be trippy.

Just got into the reserves from AD, was a 13F, slept with my rifle and radio in the same sleeping bag for many years. Now I sleep with my AR next to me at night. Doesn't feel right if I don't.

>>30784342
Its really weird. Youre just going about your dream business when suddenly you cant touch anything. When it happens i know in the dream that im dreaming. I was once inside a submarine and couldnt touch any dials or switches. So i sat on the deck pissed off that i was in a sweet dream and couldnt do anything.
I would be a great candidate for sleep mri testing.

>>30782750
Made that mistake multiple times. Hoppes isn't great for removing semen.

>>30784473
cold water, wipe, Dawn dish soap,
wipe, clean+oil as normal

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>>30782524
I'm kinda disappointed that this hasn't been posted already.

>>30782524

non /k/ person here.

Every once in a while I stumble upon this board. Especially now since that chink had the brilliant idea of having top board posts on the main page.

Falling asleep next to a loaded gun? Yall niggas crazy.

>>30784638
>implying theyre loaded

>>30784638
>he goes to the main page
I dont even remember what the home page looks like. I use the side entrances.

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>>30784638
Please return to whence you came

>>30784810

Will do.

Please buy more guns.

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>>30784844
What do you think I spend every moment of my waking day striving to do?

>>30784638

She's unloaded when we lay down.

The load comes later.

>>30784287
or you could just...clear the weapon beforehand?

>>30784864
Different anon
Fuck you that image made me laugh so hard my head hurts

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>>30784579

>>30782524
Basic training, slept with M16.
When on-base it was under the matress, made a good pillow. When out in the field it was in a standard carry position- sling over neck, barrel towards feet, hand on grip (all five fingers, no finger near trigger). Comfy/10.

>>30783557
Faghot

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>>30782524
No because that's fucking dangerous and irresponsible handling of a deadly weapon.

Anyone that does this should hang themselves. You don't know what kind of dreams you'll have, or what you'll do in your sleep.

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>>30786191

>>30784759
Your doing it wrong

>>30783557
I kicked my girlfriend out of bed one night because she didn't like my two mosins in it.

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>>30782524
Thats operator as fuck

>>30786478
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

>>30783342
>Sometimes I'd wake up with picatinny imprints on one of my arms or legs.
That means that she loves you and was clinging tightly to you anon. I'm pretty jelly considering I have yet to enlist soon.

>>30784287
>Sleeping with your rifle loaded
>Ever
Don't be stupid. Keep magazines clear of the vicinity and your surrounding area

>>30782750
>Vagina=Magwell
Correct
>Mouth
Currently unknown, as the barrel is more associated with the head.
>Ejection Port
eh....

>>30785142
>Nugget Bro
ayy, only reason why he pulls out is because he sees his raifu to be too pure for a creaming

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>>30786719
We don't talk about the ejection port

>>30783208
>Unless military

Phew! I thought I had an issue.

>>30784579
>His penis is 7.62mm around
>Imagine the star chamber in an AR

I am getting a milsurp next month, this thread has convinced me it is ok to sleep with it.

>>30788013
What gun?

>>30788043
A Swedish m/96 Mauser.

>>30782524
I sleep with my Nugget

It tells me stories of Stalingrad

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>>30782524
I slept with my Mauser, felt like fucking a cheap hooker with no lube. She still shot her load though.

>>30782524
I have before, but now she tucks me in and stands watch by the bedside because we're both more safe that way

>>30782935
I have a screenshot of that story on my old phone. Twas quite humorous.

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>>30782524
>have you ever slept with your AR.

Every deployment.

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>>30782524
Always sleep safe

>>30784342
Sounds like an indie song

Mine lays on my bed all the time to keep it off the floor away from the roaches and piss bottles

I sometimes sleep with my beat up police trade Mossy 500. Feels like I'm in bed with a seasoned lady cop who could fuck up any invader.

I might do it more.