I sexually identify as a DP-28. Every day I wake up and ask my

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I sexually identify as a DP-28. Every day I wake up and ask my slavic daddy to fill me up with 7.62x54mmR rounds so I can mow down those dirty fascist Nazis at 550 rounds per minute. After I'm blown my load, you can fill me up with another 47 round pan magazine and we can go again. Some might think that my cousin, the PPSh-41, is superior to me due to her faster rate of fire and 71 round drum, but that's not true at all! She's way more inaccurate than me, and her bullets are practically a 9mm! She also overheats way too much with her 1,000 RPM, a total turnoff to a nice Soviet daddy. So you should stick with me, I heard you liked Mosins, why not have an automatic one with more bullets?

But, there's one thing you need to know, people often misgender me as a Lewis Gun, and I find that very triggering. So come on /k/ommando, don't you want me as your raifu?