You get a phone call from a close friend or relative informing

>grab AR, some magazines and a ghillie suit
>wait outside of my home in some bush
>ambush the niggers from behind while they are trying to break in

song :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b-7tP7IW5Q

>>29828125

I just call the police and leave my home like a normal person would.

>>29828520
leaving this blasting on repeat

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0XKhAHR5I

>strap on armor and helmet
>throw on chest rig
>grab rifle
>barracade myself into my house
>when they arrive cue music
https://youtu.be/R0IUR4gkPIE
>yell "ya best protect ya neck!" as I unload

File: roof gooks.jpg (57KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 600x400px

>>29828125
Get on the roof and wait.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gItO7WFQNJQ

>>29828125
>Go to car
>Use bluetooth to call police as I'm driving away.
>Get on the freeway, drive to next town
>Get coffee and wait until it blows over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFbKKsEoQNg Appropriate music.

>But you need to stand your ground!

Fine!

>Barricade windows with furniture
>Make sure that they're completely covered and can't be seen through
>Load M1 Garand
>Take ammo cans and clips to the bathroom
>Move all other weapons to the bathroom as well
>Fix bayonet
>Load Garand clips until crazy shows up (I have like 20 of the fucking things, it'll kill some time, and if they happen to have an entire SS division with them I'll be ready as one man can be)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJVkE14kjhE Music of choice

>Hang up
>finish dinner
>down my last four 20mg addys
>set up on them and wait
Play this as I get ready https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RDI9BptGXA

File: locksmith_nightmares.jpg (35KB, 480x236px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 480x236px

>strip naked
>ketchup war paint stripes in satanic patterns all over body
>barricade doors and windows with chairs, bed, contents of pantry, fridge, and contents of fridge
>tape knife to leg
>adorn my AR-15 with pink and purple ribbons, intertwined with neighbor's flowers (I don't have any flowers) until it looks like a fuzzy pastel bouquet of death
>turn all lights on in the house
>last this song as loud as possible
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9OWYIS2hMc
>yell "I will rape you only when you're dead"

>>29828765
>only 20

>>29828125
gasoline. the asshole and his friends will supply the music.

>>29828125
>put on my milsurp camos
>hide in my front lawn bushes with loaded 590A1+Bayonet
>homemade flechettes and napalm shells
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en1uwIzI3SE

Praise the cube for the bounty I'm about to receive!
Everything else just flows into place like water.

File: Rhapsody of Fire.png (1MB, 953x953px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 953x953px

>>29828125
>Longsword on my hip
>1911 on my other hip
>AK in my hands.
>The entirety of pic related blasting through the neighborhood.

>>29828667
>Roof Koreans
>+5 to ranged
>+10 to intimidation
>-5 to the letter "L"

>Grab AR and ammo, along with sidearm
>Go to 2nd floor of house, windows overlook front gate
>Gate is only way in or out of my 6' fence around entire property
>Battle buddy German Shepard by my side

>>29831034
what about at the end of a word?
they do L at the end.

>continue to sit in my room, surrounded by empty cans and clothes strewn everywhere
>psycho bursts in
>"imma kill you you son of a bitch"
>"about time, I've been waiting for this for 2 years now"
>"wait what"
>"i thought you were here to kill me. Hurry up."
>he just leaves, completely confounded by my nonchalant approach to inevitable death
>sigh, and go back to jerking off to hentai of lovey-dovey couples while wallowing in my misery of my last failed relationship

That or he actually kills me because I'm Australian and have no way to defend myself.

>>29829262
Got anymore of that?

File: IMG_0424.jpg (2MB, 2160x1620px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2160x1620px

I'd park my ass in the treeline across from my house and light up anybody who pulled up with ye olde M72.

For music probably some Debauchery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjdRtCLoaJ8

Grab ak, bunker in house, load up a few extra mags. Play Crni Bombardier, a serbian war song

>>29831402
https://youtu.be/x4sqMNHZxjI song

File: 1459469639537.jpg (235KB, 900x675px) Image search: [Google]

235KB, 900x675px

>>29828125
>gun
>song
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm0nopK1BQM
>ill wait for him in my boxers and combat boots on my porch

>all my windows are barred twice over
>my titanium front door is wide open
>it is the only entrance or exit
>as the man or men enter my front door it slams shut and bolts behind them
>my internal surveilance system records their fear as they run around the house searching for me and realizing that I am not home and they cannot escape
>a homemade sprinkler system begins spraying inside the entire house in cheap vodka
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf14bCQFeYg begins playing over the loudspeakers
>I crawl out of my front yard spider hole with my gun collection and insurance paperwork laughing as I count down to the inevitable ignition of 50 lbs of 27 year old sparklers

>>29831593
That's a dangerous song to use. I'd be tempted to only shoot on beat.

>>29828125
Call the cops
Call my friend who was a Marine
Ready my Mosin

>>29828125
>Finish eating
>Mount bayonet
>Wait behind door with mosin

Life is a little easier when you have full sized cartridges

>strip naked
>grease myself up
>two golden desert eagles
>fully erect
>screaming in tongues

song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_q9KPczAg as loud as it goes

I go into my bedroom of my 4th floor on campus apartment, where the outer door is a thick fireproof metal door with an electronic deadbolt, where the killer would have to go through two other similarly locked doors to reach, and chill with my Ka-bar and then shitpost on /pol/ and /k/ after phoning police.

Pretty comfy

>>29831268
wait. what edition are you using?

>>29831268
It's not even Koreans that have "L" trouble. It's the Japanese, they don't have the "L" sound so it's replaced with "R" sounds

>>29828125

I've actually been through some shit like this.

>have roommate
>bang a girl he likes
>he starts acting like a faggot
>kick him out
>weeks later he calls me up
>hey anon, Von thinks I stole money from him and I told him I still live with you. he's on his way to you, have fun bro
>Von is heroine addict and ringleader of local group of scumbags
>grab GP100
>think of calling cops, but he he may have been bluffing, don't wanna cry wolf
>a few minutes later there's a knock at the door
>knock turns to pound
>pound turns to him screaming "open the fucking door"
>I figure that if I just call the cops, he'll come back some other time
>I get him locked up, he'll just come looking once he's out
>need to show him he can't just walk on me
>open the door
>calm and cool on the outside, freaking out on the outside
>looks to be 5 or more of them
>make eye contact with von
>WHERE THE FUCK MY MONEY NIGGA
>i don't have it, he doesn't live here, etc. etc.
>HOW BOUT WE JUST SEE WHAT YOU GOT INSTEAD
>tries to push past me
>shove GP100 in his face
>he's stunned, I'm able to shove him back into hall
>calmly explain for a second time that faggot doesn't live with me anymore
>tell him not to come back
>cock back the hammer
>really. don't.
>they leave quietly
>never hear from them again

>>29831300
Throw a spider at him or something

> grab AR
> shoot him when he enters my house.
> yet another win for castle doctrine.

>>29828125
Call the po-po and go to my neighbors house with one of my guns. Chill there until shit blows over.

>>29828667
Fucking /thread.

>>29828520
This

>>29832061
I think niggers are more scared of revolvers than most other guns.
Shotgun? Meh.
Big shiny revolver? Gone.

>>29828125
>pack up all my valuables and cat in my KIA
>call the police and let them know
>drive off and get a hotel or something
>put on my France Gall playlist that starts with: https://youtu.be/s5aeeSmkPwQ

Call cops.
Put cat in carrier
Put on vest
Grab 12"ar15 with beta mag
Goto safe room
Lock door
Wait.

Not the first time ive used my panic room.

>>29832888
Why would you put your cat in a plate carrier?

>>29832891
Easy transport . and always protect your battle buddy

I ain't tellin you how to kill me nigga

>>29832818
kinda like how during sadam times iraqis were afraid of pistols but not ak's n shit. Pistol means someone's getting executed.

File: deep meme.jpg (126KB, 524x604px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 524x604px

>steal mother's dress, put it on
>use whatever I can find as warpaint
>blast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZi9kHGcfps
>HK P2000 full of .40 waiting for whoever busts in the fucking door
>mfw psycho dies to a hairy hispanic man in a dress

File: rMr5QkI.jpg (96KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 640x640px

>>29828125

>>29833241
Kek

>>29828125
>turn on computer
>play some filthy frank music
>get my blunt sword
>get a knife
>put bed on window
>get my axe
>line up on the bed
>set up camera
>go to valhalla.

>>29828520
Wow, you sure are fun at parties, right? Play along, dumbass

File: 91ad05d6d457b3ca21d3d5481c3ba19f.jpg (15KB, 262x400px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 262x400px

>>29832818
I think it reminds them of a different time is all

>>29830951
My fucking nigga
E M E R A L D S W O R D

File: 8cfad89e_094b_4104_9828_a731ce40fc28.png (995KB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [Google]

995KB, 1600x1600px

> Foyer holds the stairs that spiral to the second floor.
>Wait until he comes into view on the first floor.
>You'veavtivatedmytrapcard.jpg
>Unleash my 3 battle cats from the second floor. Screaming "SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED"
>As they mutilate his face, begin peeing on him and subsequently the cats.
>Watch him tear ass out of the house. Monitor his inevitable slide into ptsd fueled depression on Facebook.
>Wash cats and foyer.

Or intimidate him with my m&p

>barricade windows and all doors leading outside house
>load Remington 870
>put on Skrillex: In For the Kill
>wait
>anything that moves or tries to open a door or window gets a face full of shot

>>29832798
Cool neighbor.

Show up with nugget and 6000 rds

"Hey I'm kinda sorta being hunted can I just crash on your couch?"

File: Marty Robbins.jpg (135KB, 944x937px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 944x937px

Fewguns here.
>windows and doors barricaded
>start up pic related on the ol record player
>load my ol ass .22's and have them at the ready
>12 gauge remington pump in hand
>come get me u fuk

File: mackdaddy.jpg (38KB, 840x630px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 840x630px

>>29833627
>This fucking guy
>Beat on door, trying to break in
Marty Robbins

"I DETECT A LITTLE COMMUNISM..."

>Dafuq u sayme NIGGA

"I CAN SEE IT IN THE THINGS YA DOOOOOOO"

>NIGGA I DINDU NUFFIN..... YET

"COMMUNISM, SOCIALISM CALL IT WHAT YOU LIKE THERE'S VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE IN THE TWO! NOW AIN'T I RIGHT?"

>#BLM #deth2witey #justice4tyrone
>fuggin KABLOOEY

>>29828125
>madman trying to kill me
>it cant be
>could it?
>but I thought he was dead!
>yes, it is true, its him
>Stalin has risen from the grave and come back to spread his communism to me
>I mustn't let him succeed
>grab 870
>grab marlin 30-30
>grab random AR I dont have
>just pretend I do
>Capitalism, yea!
>don battle dress
>its just me neked, lol
>paint body Red, White, And Blue
>get raging American hardon>wait, what is that?
>can hear the communism from miles away
>hecomes.webm
>march out to meet him
>the Red Army is standing behind him
>but there's a low rumbling
>could it be?
>is it really true?
>the Gran Army Of The Republic of The United States Of America stand at my back
>thetimehascome.jpeg
>battle stalin and his goons untill dawn
>the smook settles
>I still have an erection from having homosex with all those tags
>turns out he wasn't going to kill me
>he just needed sex
>I obliged
That's the story of how the Soviet Union fell. I did it. It was all me.

>>29828125

I would inform that they got the wrong number. They're implying I actually have friends or family.

>>29828125
>leave my house
>call police
>head down to pub
>wait till it blows over

If I had to fight him
>no gunz country
>Grab hunting knife
>don't bother kitting up in intimidation shit cause he's crazy
>stab shit out of each other
>hope my knife fighting lessons keep me alive and less cut up

>>29833487
>Implying cats could ever amount to anything useful

Go to the weapons storage room, take a 50 cal and put it at main entrance door,

File: IMG_20160504_121744.jpg (295KB, 1383x778px) Image search: [Google]

295KB, 1383x778px

>>29833627

My Caucasian.

>>29828125

Probably load up a drum in my cheapest AK and call the cops while I wait for the fuck.

>>29828125


>Grab VZ-24
>Load it
>Put on muh WW2 uniform
>Go out side, climb a tree and wait for the fucker
>Put on this song cause might as well go full LARP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qADAhwFejZw

File: Lightmatter_caracal.jpg (53KB, 717x480px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 717x480px

>>29835579
>mfw its legal to own "exotic" felines in my state so long as they're not endangered
>mfw going to one day be the equivalent of a crazy cat lady

>but with cougars

>Grab AR
>Crack open a beer
>Wait

File: 1454144203917.gif (2MB, 300x176px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 300x176px

>>29828125
>grab SKS, affix bayonet and load it up
>grab nugget, affix bayonet, load up, and put extra pouches on my belt
>grab old police trade in .38 revolver, and put in old leather hip holster
>such is the life of a poorfag
>toss on flecktarn fishing vest and load pockets with boolets and clips
> put nugget on back with sling and blast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9CzeCFSZ24
>on repeat
>call police and leave phone on speaker, though the 911 operator will most likely just be enjoying Scattle with me till the screams and gunshots start.
>mfw I enjoy hurting other people

File: 1446452154133.gif (1009KB, 225x195px) Image search: [Google]

1009KB, 225x195px

>>29836174
>be intruder
>enter some random's house at night
>lights are off, can barely see
>bunch of stuff hanging from the ceiling, not sure what it is
>finally find the lightswitch
>the living room has like, 15 hammocks
>each holds a cougar watching me, tense with anticipation
>hear the door shut behind me

>>29828125
>Roommate owns AR50
>long hallway from front door into living room
>wait for shit bag to kick in door
>we have double ear pro he has none
>first shot if he isnt dead he's deaf
>his homies are deaf
>they are all blinded by muzzle flash
>commence beating them to death with baseball bat or executing them with AR50

>>29828125

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOr0na6mKJQ

>high noon them with dual SAA's because I have little sense of self preservation

File: 13061990_10207262422972817_3199107340223956637_n.jpg (40KB, 960x540px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 960x540px

>>29828534
my fuckin nigga

>knife in pants
>replica katana ready
>metal gear revengeance ost ready
>call police

as an australian i'm pretty fucked

>eat a carrot
>madman breaks through my door
>"Y u so mad doe?"
>run past him
>Benny hill theme

File: 6489777210.jpg (92KB, 970x645px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 970x645px

>>29828125
>>29828125

I live in a Town home, I've got a compound bow and a 9mm

And I'm black

I fully intend to hide in the dark butt ass naked with my power shut off, and the street light across the street blown out. Waiting for the fucker with my RAGE tipped arrows.


>Pic related.

>>29828125
>live in dorm
>concrete walls, solid oak door,steel door frame
>one window 15 feet off the ground, maybe one inch of ledge

>barricade door with roommate's dresser
>call police

>>29836556
i feel like you might be my neighbor lol

>>29828125
>single entrance to apartment
>on second floor
Slide couch in front of door, wait behind kitchen island so they can't shoot me through the door. If they manage to get in through the couch blocked door, it would be slow enough that I could shoot them before they could get a good shot on me.

>>29836564
>>29836564

I might just be.

File: image.jpg (14KB, 184x184px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 184x184px

>>29828125

>kill myself

>That faggot can't kill me if I'm already dead!

>>29832061
It's because while you see a GP100 in your hand and regular clothes on your body, as soon as they hear a revolver's hammer cock back they see a Remington 1858 and a Stetson hat.

>>29833487
There was a guy a little while ago who tried to intimidate somebody with a gun, can you guess what happened?

>>29836575
Also, just a loop of Kanye saying "Y'all niggas can't fuck with 'ye" over and over again.

>>29832061
>not having an IED under your doorstep

File: i'm coming home.gif (499KB, 470x361px) Image search: [Google]

499KB, 470x361px

>>29836812
that's a good way to go to Superjail

>>29836304
thou's butthole will quiver with extreme puckering action.

>>29828125
>friend calls
>"hey anon, there is some szkop that wants to kill you man!"
>wat
>take my gf to my mom's house, kiss her goodbye
>get back to my place
>grab my wz.2010 battle uniform, load my beryl
>cover windows, barricade doors
>when i hear they enter, play this song as loud as i can
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivgCD31iKyg
>they may be 40:1 but will never enter that land
>because it is protected by polish hand

>>29831301
>that
What are you referring to? The music? The Shintaro Kago? The insanity?

>>29832847
>France Gall
My nigga

>>29836841
>lock all doors except back deck
>push grill near door
>detonate propane tank
>5 dead dindus
>sorry officer, it must have been a gas leak

>>29828125
I wake up and mumble about what strange dream I had, then go back to sleep because I live in a still safe part of a still kinda safe country (not so safe anymore that baby carts are left outside the store with the babies inside, but okish).

>>29833453
The best play for when someone is coming to kill you is to be someplace else.

File: 1446456024762.jpg (225KB, 613x827px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 613x827px

>>29836639

All da bitches thought he was hella fly and sucked his dick?

File: b225e4ceb4263a9cd96f22d98fe69935.jpg (36KB, 236x387px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 236x387px

>>29828486
damn, didn't think of a ghillie suit.
i live in germany. lots of trees and bushes around town. just chill around in the woods and aiming at my doorway. hell, i could even smoke and just wreck those fuckers with some chill music easy.
why not more like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SCFWNrTxxE

>>29828125
The only answer is lathering up in oil with the thong on backwards while wearing a stalhelm listening to Erika with your trusty rifle and dildo gun.

>>29836545
As a fellow austalian i disagree. Call the cops and let them know that you beleive there is a threat, not sure if its real. Let them decide whether they rock up.
>get you camping/fishing/diving gear out
>get appropriate equipment cleaning utensiles.
>comence cleaning gear and sharpening your camp axe/fishing knife/dive knife because thats what you do when you clean you gear.
>play the First Dethklok album on repeat.
>target come through the door, look up at him and say "Gday Champion" and then stab the fucker to death whilst murmaider plays in the background.
>call the cops again let them know there is a corpse.
>make the issue about the lack of poloce response and not about you shanking a guy.
>????????
>profit.

>>29833241
i like your plan a lot anon

File: image.jpg (45KB, 478x598px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 478x598px

>>29833453

Redditor detected

>>29828125
I'd rather come to him.

>Call the police
>Get SMLE
>Get in car
>Drive away
>Keep driving all day

>tape black trashbags over all windows
>liberally cover all floors with packing peanuts
>acquire skin bronzer
>acquire curling iron
>acquire or produce a phallocarp
>acquire novelty angel/cherub wings
>strip naked
>apply bronzer to entire surface of body
>use curling iron to produce Grecian locks
>don phallocarp
>modify novelty wings to attach directly to the heels via tape or spirit gum
>wrap rifle length AR in aluminum foil with reflective side out
>crudely paint a stylized image of the sun on foil using yellow mustard
>place colander on head
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ turned to 11
>wait for madman to break in
>prance into foyer
>"I am the god Hermes, for what purpose does thou tread here?"
>repeat as necessary
>[Hardmode] Magdump
>wait for police to respond to the 5150 called in by neighbors

File: d.jpg (27KB, 280x448px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 280x448px

>>29828667
chuwannumawan?

>double check that security cams are on
>wait for young men of African American persuasion to come to the door with weapons
>shoot them through the mail slot

>"it begins"
>strip naked, except for my leather duster and Ruger Vaquero
>wait by the door, erect penis in hand and pistol in the other
>YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NEIGHBOURHOOD, BOY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyPhsFxnc_c

With this playing in the background

File: yrj.jpg (23KB, 300x450px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 300x450px

>>29841069
Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money?

File: ironclad-movie-image.jpg (48KB, 450x678px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 450x678px

>>29833474
Holy Thunderforce
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-nMHhTmo-4

Face me evil bastard,
Smell the hate of angels
Glory, pride and bloodshed
Cowards and beholders,
Rapers of my wisdom
mix of dust and bones
Go back to your abyss,
Algalord will not fall
but your heads will soon roll
Test the blade of heroes,
Fury of the thunder
hit my golden shield

>>29828125
>grab M-14 and mags
>grab both pistol holsters, one leg, one shoulder
>pull on ACUs and boots
>call 911 while I'm doing this to tell them what's going on
>take up a good firing position behind this big limb that fell in the last storm and still has its leaves
>be thankful I haven't mowed out there yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLTpKs2ylP4

>>29836598
Fucking kek'd hard anon. A for effort

>>29828125
>make myself a coffe
>call the police
>turn on TV, Radio, close doors, windows,...
>take my hunting rifle
>double-check if my weaponssafe is closed
>go on a little hunting trip
meanwhile at home
>potato thinks that i barricaded myself in my house
>tries to break in
>police arrives
>armed suspect you know the deal
>come back from muh huntin chilled af

As for the song I have no idea probably bach or schubert, something to keep the nerves low

File: h.jpg (126KB, 498x768px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 498x768px

>>29841181
everytang you want

File: 001dee3ecc8e08b9c2935feb2c2005ca.jpg (10KB, 650x366px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 650x366px

>>29836545
That's no excuse.

Buy an Adler, throw some shells in a combo locked box next to your safe. Instant home protection (or as close as you can get to instant).

>grab rifle and ammo
>go hide innawoods near my home
>shoot him when he shows up
>spend the rest of my life in prison because dude weed lmao
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>29841616
>spend the rest of my life in prison because dude weed lmao
Just say the crazy guy planted it

>tannerite under doormat
>make popcorn

>>29841630
I don't mean I have weed, I mean I live under the reign of the weedman.

>>29828125
Who is this sperm wyrm?

>>29841616
No, more like..
>life in prison for murder
You can't shoot somebody on mens rea alone. He has to actively be tring to kill you. Not just threaten you.
>See crazy man and co. bust in your door and enter your house
>Waste them while they're in the killzone from your innawood hidey hole
>Murder became justifiable homicide due to circumstantial evedince of forced entry and evidence of threats of bodily harm.
Smarter,not harder, anon.