How would you go about training a hippo for home defense? They

Id sooner get fucking bears and tigers in my house than a hippo

>>28320939
first you'd have to train it not to fall through the floor into the basement

>>28320970
Who you kidding op lives in a single wide no chance the floor would survive

>>28320970
don't worry, if that floor can hold op it damn can hold a hippo

>>28320939
Is that a water buffalo getting fucking shreked?

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This is a serious topic we need to start discussing

>would love to see the look on nignogs face when
>kicks in door
>sounds like no one home
>other nignogs enter home
>door slams and locks
>nignogs start niggering
>all lights flash on
>hippo comes charging around corner, huge spike on forehead and me with glorious nugget on saddle pouches on side of saddle filled with vodka
>GET OUT OF HERE STALKER
>hippo spikes one nig in chest
>nignog 2 pulls out glockenspiel
>FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!!
>Stand on saddle and lunge at nig stabbing him in chest with glorious nugget bayonet
>kick him off bayonet out window
>glorious
>grab vodka and feed body of nignog to hippo

>>28320970
just get your mother to do that, since she is an expert in that subject

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>>28321051

>>28320939
That is such a nice shade of red

>>28321050
You aren't funny or creative.

hippo would eat too much food
if someone shoots the hippo now you've got either a dead or a pissed off hippo and even if he kills the bad guy or the bad guy flees the hippo is probably going to start fucking up your house

a) you have a dead hippo, there goes all your money you spent feeding the fucker
b) you have a hippo that just tore up your house, there goes all the money you had him protect

>>28321149
Obviously we would need some hippo plates to protect against gunshots.

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Well now I want to start the mounted hippo cavalry

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>>28320939
How about a boar?