A rouge Tu-95 is coming after you. It will not stop until you're

>>27960569
Go to space.

Go live on the moon.

>>27960569
Die.

>>27960569

I fuck it.

Wait until it gets shot down by the military.

wonder why it's painted red

>>27960569
go live in a camper van with a friend, somewhere that I really hate. park next to assholes houses and take off just before the bombs hit.
eventually get so good at this that I start up a business bombing stuff with "my" bomber. I'm assuming the government and such are just ignoring this rogue TU-95 and not doing anything about it.
If not and the government IS doing something, I just get in my car and drive until CF-18s show up to protect me.

>>27960628

kek

>>27960569

I live in Tucson, next to the Boneyard, so I go whine about that mean ol' bear to my neighbors and then watch all the pilots get into a fist fight to decide who gets to shoot it down.

>>27960569
>rouge Tu-95
I wouldn't worry about it. Nobody's ever painted a Tu-95 red.

>>27960569
>rouge

>>27960636
>/k/anadian detected

>>27960569

Buy a .50 caliber anti-aircraft rifle

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>>27960742
>.50 cal
>shooting down a high altitude bomber

>>27960569
THANK YOU BASED BUK.

It's simple, I become one of those people that lives in an airport.

Good luck, fgt.

>>27960641

I'm learning to fly F-15E's, so I'd just get a bro to shoot it down.

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>>27960569
> I'd shoot it down with a rouge F-14.

>>27960569
I make a mad dash into Area 51.. either the bomber kills me, the landmines blow my legs off, or whatever the government has there turns the bomber into molten plasma before my eyes and then I got shot by some guy in a black suit and ray-bans.

Laugh as it gets blown out of the sky passing into American airspace.

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Wait and hope Langley AFB sorties a F-22 or any pilot in Hampton Roads that wants to claim they shot down a Bear

>Navy F-35's and F/A-18's fighting with F-22's in a attempt to shoot down one TU-95

>>27960592
/thread

>live right next to small but loaded airbase/airport combo.
Holy hell, a Tu-95 even being in the area with intent to do jack shit. Oh boy how quickly that'd end. F-15s would be up it's ass long before it got anywhere near drop range. Worst case there's be an A-10 pilot going around bragging about how he BRRRTed a Bear to death.

What makes it worse for Yogski is one of the bigger airbases in the northwest is just 40 miles south of me.

>Drive a short distance to Nellis
>Show military ID
>Either arrested on spot or let in
>If second option, drive to the base exchange and eat a cheeseburger while a Tu-95 is being followed by multiple F16s ready to shoot it down immediately for being within a 30 mile radius of military airspace without approval

Something else to consider, OP said nothing about food and water. Go to safe place while the crew dries out.

Cry

>>27960797
ITS A JOKE YOU FUCKING NIGGER

>>27962084
...isn't nellis inside the zone?

>Go to Africa
>Drive around until niggers have been eradicated
>??
>Profit

Go deaf, shits loud af shm senpai

>>27960569
>rouge Tu-95
Didn't know they painted them red.

>>27962623
Of course they do. It makes them go faster. So do the flame-decals and racing-stripes, coincidentally.

>>27962623
It makes it 3 times faster

>>27960569
>Impossible situation with one outcome
>Wat do?

Why do people make threads like this?

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>>27960569
Listen for it. They're not exactly quiet.

>>27962623
Well, it's Russian, innit?

of all the fighters available out there why would the red baron choose a tu-95?

>>27960569
Contact the government, tell them that I can bring them a plane with alien technology on it, if they give me a shitload of money.

Best case scenario, I get rich and they get an infinite ammo and fuel generator. Worst case, they blow it up and I get to live.

>>27960569
I would sit at home and do nothing. As soon as it entered Australian airspace and did not respond to contacts it would likely be shot down.

>>27960711
Wow dude what gave it away? Was it the C in CF-18?

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Continue eating

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>>27962061
>Holy hell, a Tu-95 even being in the area with intent to do jack shit. Oh boy how quickly that'd end. F-15s would be up it's ass long before it got anywhere near drop range.
With new Kh-101/102 Bear has drop range 5500km.

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>>27960958
>>SA-11 kill list

>3x SU-25
>1x TU-22

>4x Drone

>yfw 1x Boeing 777-200ER

>>27960569
>A rouge Tu-95 is coming after you. It will not stop until you're dead. It will never run out of fuel or ammunition, and it will always know exactly where you are. What do?

is this a metaphor for the grim reaper?

anyway, I continue living my life as before.

>>27963884

TU-95 is kinda cute.

>>27960569
get to a tunnel

>>27960569
Hope it's got nuclear payloads and buy a folding chair and some beer

Climb to the top of Mount Everest and slice it half with a katana.

>>27962518
/thread