There are many rumors about Lady Remilia. However, i don't

She says she's 6th generation but her blood pool doesn't match up. I don't even think she's Romanian.

Latest rumor is that the mistress has a secret NEET lover...

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I heard the Mistress has a big clit...

>>16667123
I told everyone! I intentionally tarnished your name so as to give you a reason to punish me!

>>16667157
How big exactly?

>>16667093
I heard she's smart and pretty. I guess that's wrong....

>>16667177
But thats not a rumor. It's a proven fact.

>>16667123
She's too proud for that. The only way you can get anywhere close to husbando material is to be an all-powerful mage or literal knight in shining armor. Fatass NEETS are only good for blood meals.

stinky butt

>>16667224
That's not what my fanfics tell me!!!!

I heard her farts stink like rotten milk!

Von Carstein?

>>16667338
No. Mousillon.

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>>16667093
Remilia throwing the salt!

>>16667093
>lady

>>16671029
keep your dumb /pol/ memes out of /jp/

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>>16667093
Flan is the actual head of the scarlet household. Her and the others are simply humoring Remilia's immature delusions.

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Rub her chest for good luck

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>>16667224
The mistress has ridiculous standards when choosing her husband. To the point where her former fiance rejected her at the alter after being fed up with her childish behavior and decided the Scarlet title wasn't worth it.

>>16671174
I want to touch Remi's wings so badly!

>>16667224
Do you have a single fact to back that up?

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I heard that she's a huge nerd!

Even the gambling racket she has in her basement?

>>16674113
I heard they bet /jp/ers virginities.

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>>16667314
The fanfics can be more of what you call esoteric cryptological GUIDELINES really.
>>16673302
Well, that's one side of a many pronged fused coin.
>>16673565
Even if she did, time dilation has turned that "has" into an "almost had", the currents are fickle and poisonous these days...what can you do.

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>>16674113
The gambling rackets a thing, but she has a problem with making bets you only cash with your time and on your back.

Singles.

>>16674113
She brings grown men to run a mating press train on her!

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>>16667093
I heard she is in an illicit relationship with another high-society lady...
I hope that isn't true, as i would kill my chances to become her paramour!

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>>16674517
Just rumors

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>>16674517
ahh... ahh....

>>16674587
What happens when they touch?

what was Remilia's nationality before getting to Gensokyo?

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>>16674528
Mere slander

>>16674517
That is ridiculous. Remilia, more than most within Gensokyo, would despise having her (in her opinion) noble mind invaded by a cowardly wretch such as Satori. A creature who thrives on attention and grandeur such as Remilia (evidenced by her actions in EoSD as well as her appearances in the manga) would find the idea of her words being pre-empted and, possibly, subverted annoying at the least, if not simply infuriating.

There's also the issue of Satori being a self-inflicted fugitive with little in the way of pride or nobility.

>>16674662
Their hair and clothes color compliment each other, that's enough material to base a ship off

>>16674113
What happens to people who lose down there?

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>>16674621
my money's on french

>>16674610
horrible destruction in a fifteen mile radius

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>>16673617
How can Remi be so smug if she has so many weaknesses?
Ignoring the flowing water weakness, can Remi even swim?

>>16675141
>water weakness

Where the shit did this come from? I have only heard of this from Touhou, and no where else.

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>>16674670
If you can't pay for your losses out of your own pocket, you get dragged off by the fairy maids, and Sakuya prepares you as food for Flan. This happens even if you're only $1 in debt, and they don't let you leave the basement to go get more money from home. It's brutal, but as long as you don't bet more than you have on you, you'll be alright, and it's worth it for the potential to get rich if you're good at gambling.

>>16675261
What does Sakuya's cooking taste like?

>>16675471
pork

>>16675471
chicken

>>16675251
I don't know but many other sources mention vampires are weak to running water.

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Rumor:

The Mistress has a small appetite and her victims rarely die when she feeds on their blood.

STATUS: This is a FALSE rumor designed to lure potential victims into a fall sense of security. When the Mistress desires blood she drinks ALL of it and then does THAT.

>>16677613
>continued
Afterwards she has a nice rousing game of "stomp on all the orphaned puppies and kittens" while shrieking "OOGA BOOGA I'M EVIL", then she burns down the human village and blows up Gensokyo, you don't remember this because your memory resets of these things everytime it explodes!

Afterwards she has some wine...some EVIL WINE! Made from human childrens unhappiness!

>>16677856
And then she orders a new batch of Daemonculaba servants from old Honsou?

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>>16677856

This is 1000% accurate.

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>>16677856
What a terrifying monster. Just looking at her makes me shiver. How much evil truly lurks in depths of this devil's cold, cruel heart?

>>16677856

This actually happened btw.

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What happens in Touhou when a vampire bites you? Do you turn into a vampire? If so, why doesn't Remilia have an army of mindless slaves? And if you either die or nothing in particular happens, how did Remilia become a vampire in the first place?

>>16679226

She bites people just to be a dick.

>>16667168
The mistress has a massive clit

So large, one could make a meal of it

>>16679226
You only transform when a vampire sucks you dry and there aren't a bunch of them running around Gensokyo because Remi is a light eater and Sakuya prepares Flan's food in a way that Flan never has to bite anyone. Source: my ass.

>>16679226
Also in some stories about vampires, they need to give you some of their blood to turn you. But as far as I've seen there is nothing on that since noone was made a vampire.

>>16679226
you have to be a cute little girl
if you're not a cute little girl you just die

Vampires do not exist.

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>>16677613
>>16677856
That's stupid.
You're stupid.
Stop being stupid.

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>>16667246

>>16679926
Round, and squishy loli buttcheeks.

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>>16679926
On my face!

>>16667093
That picture is too C U T E to be Remilia.

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>>16679926
Too big for Remimi's

One shudders to know what inhuman thoughs lie inside that head.

What dreams of chornic and sustained bloodlust?

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>>16680986
>>16681024
>the cute mistress in a commoner's position
how rude

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>>16680923
The Scarlet Union is raising an army. The EoSD was just testing Gensokyo defenses. The SU R&D is cooking up something big.

Mark these words, they are not to be trusted

>>16681277
>Not killing them the first fucking time they try to pull that shit
>Not forcing those disgusting bloodsucking parasites to leave the holy land of fantasy


This is bullshit.

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>>16681203
Call it karma.

https://pyx-1.pretendyoure.xyz/zy/game.jsp#game=32

Password is Touhou

>>16681698
Derek, attack!

Quick rundown on The Scarlets:

-The Lunarians bow to the Scarets
-In contact with aliens
-Possess psychic-like abilities
-Control Gensokyo with an iron but fair fist
-Own castles & banks globally
-Direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
-Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Flanderegrad will be be the first city)
-Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
-First designer babies will in all likelihood be Remilia babies
-both sisters said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
-Ancient Chinese scriptures tell of two devils who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
-They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
-You likely have Scarletbots inside you right now
-The Scarlets are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Scarlet bunker in Wilkes land?
-They learned fluent Japanese in under a week
-Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the sisters. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Scarlet
-The twins are about 10 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
-In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.

>>16681671
who are you quoting?

>>16683097
Fuck off.

>>16683273
Who is Fuck off? There's nobody with that name in this thread. Can you post a warosu backlink or something?

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I think i have finally realized

I like the Remimi not because i want to get smugged at

But because i wish to one day be so great that i can smug with her.

>>16684517
>not because i want to get smugged at
Insolent Cur

>>16684069
I want to protect that smug!

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Yes, she is well known for doing obscene and profane acts involving Nattō

>>16683942
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDQD2kTerf0

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>>16687024
Don't post this type of cancer from other boards, kudasai.

>>16687024
Only an underage /b/tard would find this cancer funny

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>>16674633

>>16684906
It's fine, because I want to get smugged at enough to make up for him.

>>16667093
Remilia is actually Milord.

>>16667224
But that's wrong.

I miss him.

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>>16698281

I want to pepper Remi's belly with kisses!

>>16698473
Me too, but I want to do it after I've impregnated her!

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>>16698497

>>16698281
Where did he go?

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>>16699830
Nobody knows. Maybe he took a trip to Gensokyo.

Remilia is a genius scientist and kidnaps other youkai for experimental and research purposes. Also, Hong Meiling is actually a cyborg.

Rumor: Zun is a descendant of Remilia.

Rumor: Remilia is a slav

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>>16700234
Does get blackout drunk all the time?

>>16699872
Maybe he hates you a lot.
>>16700090
C A N O N
>>16700213
>>16700234
Heresy, but I'll allow if useful.

>>16679926
I'm craving those Mcnuggies.

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I hear she's a big fan of Queen. She played four of their albums at the last party she hosted.

>>16714873
I hear that Reisen once drunkenly solicited her for a one night stand and was escorted home in tears when Remilia said "no way"...

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>>16677613
I don't think she can fit that much blood into her, even if she wanted.

>>16729420
I want to engorge Remi's cute tummy with my fluids!

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>>16729465
I hope you're prepared for castration immediately afterwards.

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>>16740702
Filling the Remimi with my cum and immediately after being castrated by Sakuya?
Sign me up!