/brit/

Wagwan

Wigwam

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>Look what I made! Do you want to try some?

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Tzu

>>79172225
N-N-N-NONCE UNIT

>>79172225
Too many bird houses in one picture

die fahne hoch

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Ah yes, the American dream

>>79172378
at least their houses are spacious

>>79172378
Beautiful

>>79172378
unironically mega comfy
get up, go for a swim, get your gigatruck and go blasting across the desert shooting at armadillos and drinking
tfw not american

>tfw when off for a week
think i'll get nicely tipsy and order a 'za

>>79172225
No that doesn't fit my macros today stupid bint

may i have a british friend pls

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Bane?

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Barb

>>79172576
no i dont want to watch sherlock and doctor who with you go away

>>79172576
nah

>>79172522
you also live in a desert, feel like this could be quite easily attainable for you

need janny to delete every /brit/ thread like he did last night

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this is a good barb

>>79172628
I only watch American TV because I can't understand British accents too well though :(
I even have troubles with people from New Jersey sometimes.

even if it amounts to a subsidy for the middle classes, means testing should be abolished in most fields.

>>79172671
well how are we supposed to be friends if you can't understand me

>>79172663
>turns up once a week or so to delete some posts, maybe submit a ban request
>fucks off and hopes we won't have to bother him again
bet he isn't even british

>>79172637
yeah but it's quite different than nevada or utah or wherever

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Follow Lei Feng's good example lads

You are trapped in the world of the popular TV astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, and you know this, because here the sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all. In fact, the earth is a sphere orbiting the sun, so the sun does not in any sense actually ‘rise’ – it’s just that you happen to be positioned right on the moving line, known as the ‘terminator’, that separates the illuminated portion of the planet from its dark side. And the birds singing aren’t really singing – actually, they’re just emitting a series of noises without any of the tonal qualities that distinguish singing from other vocal emissions. And the bed isn’t yours, because scientists have never been able to find any way of isolating ‘ownership’ in the physical composition of any object. You jump out of bed and start banging frantically at the walls. Is there no way out? Where are your crew? You rush to the window, and almost collapse in horror. It’s all there, spread out in front of you, exactly like home: everything is exactly the same, but in this sick parody of a universe it’s all been twisted into something hollow, meaningless, and mercilessly dull.

poo

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>>79172113
>>79172194
WIG AN

Pink strands of cloud fizzle up from the horizon, and you know that actually the horizon is just the curvature of the earth, and that the clouds, which were once believed to be inhabited by angels, house nothing of the sort. A few people are already outside in the streets below you, jogging, going to work, but they’re not really people. Actually, they’re just apes of the family Hominidae, most closely related to the genus Pan, going about their ape-business, which remains primarily motivated by the ape-needs of food, shelter, and sex. There is nothing that isn’t instantly boring. It’s too much. You rush into the kitchen, rattling the drawer in sheer panic (actually just dyspnea, tachycardia and dilation of the pupils caused by a surge of epinephrine in your body), pull out the knife (actually just a piece of metal attached to a piece of wood), and open your wrists. The blood (which was once thought to be one of the four humours, governing personality traits, but which is actually primarily used to transmit oxygen) glugs out, darker in colour and slower than you’d expected. It’ll be over now, you think. But actually, you’re not dying: you’re just a collection of atoms, and every single one of those atoms will remain. Not only are you in this universe, this universe is in you.

poobumwillywank

business idea: word filter on willy

>>79173080
VERY rude post

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do you like my new hair anon?

>>79173229
If I say yes, will you let me play connect the dots with your face?

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>>79173229

>>79173229
Joke on you, I like it.

boy off da ting

>>79176297
manna dem

>>79173483
>>79176538
looks like kiff

>>79176297
its a mandem ting

we're literally all in here lads
>>79176531
dont hang with that cara spamming weirdo

May I have a British friend?

I had to go to court over a financial cock-up when I was a student. Took advice from the university legal support team who said I didn't need a solicitor, so I went in alone. The judge didn't like this, and postponed it for another date so I could prove I'd had more counsel first. The other party's solicitor caught me outside the court and said "I didn't tell you this but ..." and pointed out a huge error in the financial paperwork that made it very obviously come out in my favour. Went back to legal support, got confirmation that it was right, went to the second hearing alone and got the entire thing thrown out. The other solicitor winked at me as he left. Saved me about £9K. Nice chap.

>I think house prices are unfair and everything should be free and the bankers should be taxed to 100% and--
Have a bullet for free, punk.

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>I wouldn't hesitate to put you down like the vermin you are. Ever touched a weapon in your life before, kid?

creamy memes

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Thingken about the Library of Alexandria

>>79172378
really nice

don't understand why europeans get so bitter about mcmansions and american suburbs? literally 10x better than anything we have here

dad wants to buy a huge SUV

>>79176602
I'll be your friend.

>>79176611
one more thing we can thank the muzzies for destroying

>>79176603
cool

just found out my car is gay lads

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>I had to go to court over a financial cock-up when I was a student. Took advice from the university legal support team who said I didn't need a solicitor, so I went in alone. The judge didn't like this, and postponed it for another date so I could prove I'd had more counsel first. The other party's solicitor caught me outside the court and said "I didn't tell you this but ..." and pointed out a huge error in the financial paperwork that made it very obviously come out in my favour. Went back to legal support, got confirmation that it was right, went to the second hearing alone and got the entire thing thrown out. The other solicitor winked at me as he left. Saved me about £9K. Nice chap.

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Do all Scots suffer from braindamage or is it the lack of sunlight

>>79176628
Me on the inside ( haven't cried in years)

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crunch crunch crunch

>>79176614
But what the fuck do you do if you want to meet someone for coffee, run for a quick pint of milk, walk to a local restaurant, or get drunk in the local pub? Having nothing within walking distance is my idea of a dystopian nightmare

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>>79176642
Thanks.

Going somewhere tomorrow lads

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>(See Halo)

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>do nothing but horizontal rows, seated rows, bent over rows for weeks
>STILL have rolled shoulders

will literally never not have the virgin posture

Innocent/Tropicana juice is so nice but so expensive. Have to sell your car just to afford a few bottles

>>79176680
t.patrick dahmer

>>79176606
You're going to get destroyed if you even look at me funny, kid. You're playing with fire. Don't get burned.

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need to convince the gf wearing fetish outfits in everyday life is entirely normal

>>79176661
Someone want to enlighten me why girls take a photo then put the same photo twice into the one photo so there's two of the same photo in the one photo?

is people just do nothing shit?

i keep my bread in the fridge

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so what caused you to join the alt right then lads?

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>apple juice with bits

>>79176689
To work

I keep my virginity in the fridge

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Thingken about the Treaty of Versailles

>>79176772
i'm not allowed, teens only innit

>>79176779
remember wanking to this image when I first signed up to the 'chon when I was like 14

cheers to that lad who linked me Freddie Gibbs a couple of days ago

>>79176414
>>79176458
thats exactly what happens.

>>79176763
yep. you know how TBBT tries to capture nerd culture but turns it into a cringey reddity mess?

well PJDN is the same thing but with youth/alternative/underground culture.

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How do you even fuck up that bad

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Now that the kids are back at school, can we stop with the posting new threads early

Thanks

>>79176839
Because he's 9

>>79176840
*fucks the left one*
Thanks

>>79176836
why is the kid black and nobody ever mentions it?

>>79176840
I assumed the schools were still on holidays because leftypol still shitted up the threads

>>79176839
>age
>9 years

I did a lot of shit with my dick when I was younger that seemed like a great idea at the time

>>79176840
Know this exact spot.

It's a cut through round the back of Aldi in Chester

>the rorkes in the comments are actually defending him

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4857210/Rees-Mogg-says-opposes-abortion-women-raped.html#comments
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4857210/Rees-Mogg-says-opposes-abortion-women-raped.html#comments

>>79176840
*chooses the one on the right*

nearly pissed in my juice again
strangely when i opened the juice bottle it was the smell of piss that made me check for juice and confirm that actually that was not the piss bottle

>>79176903
go lick that metal bar

>>79176924
Why shouldn't they?

He's not suggesting it should be banned, just that he wouldn't vote for it

used to obsessively check my willy for lint when i was 6 and got in trouble at school for it

>>79176903
Cheshire

Even when you leftists appear to triumph... still we rise again.
And do you know why? It's because the rorke is born of a realisation. We require no slogan, no brainwashing by desperate, corrupt media and entertainment.
All we need is that the world be as it is. And this is why the rorke will never be destroyed.

>>79176924
baby didn't rape anyone. kill the rapist, let the baby live. if you disagree you're a modern male. simple as

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ahh yes, the welsh

>>79176954
Same.
The teacher when I was in 1st or kindergarten told me to go wash my hands and I didn't understand what I did wrong.

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>>79176819
fan of her desu

>>79176981
Isn't Watford in London?

>>79176981
didn't a welsh guy become king of britain because of a prophecy

>>79176924
it's only because he is a devout christian and it contradicts his religion. When he's PM he's not going to bring in any measures against abortion

>>79176981
Radical Larry out on the pull again, guys a legend

>>79177001
t. ignorant northerner who thinks Manchester is the centre of the world

>>79177001
You're thinking of Catford mate, Watford is South Wales

>>79176981
girl on the left has a great body

>he didn't jump on the half full yazoo bottles at lunch to shoot milkshake at the years below him

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Business idea: get cars to scan the entire world with 3D laser and create a game with a real life GTA map of the world

>>79176981
that is a huge head

anyone else love when natural disasters do as much damage as possible because of how entertaining it is?

>>79177052
i did that at the years above me cunt

>>79177038
looks like a boy

>>79177052
virgin
>>79177077
chad

Getting my daily dose of Vox

>>79176981
bet the girl on the far left has a shaven fanny

niggers and women are inferior to me
the jews are the reason i'm a neet

There was a thing in my school where people stabbed the lids of drinks with compasses and drink them via the spray

Everyone did this

>>79177097
no just a hard nut mad cunt

>>79177109
was your school called Forest?

can bus companies issue tickets retrospective if the ticket machine was broken on board?

>>79177109
good lad

>>79177147
If the oyster scanner is broken they let you on for free, what do you mean?

Had to walk to a field from our school for PE, going through a large tunnel. Me and the boys used to hang back, climb to the top of the bridge then go around town for an hour.

>>79177109
i remember people would drink cans of fizzy drinks by popping the ring pull just a little bit so you could suck out the liquid.

>>79177109
There was a thing in my school where people licked the heads of willies with their tongue and drank the liquid via the spray

Everyone did this

Tour of britain passed through my town today, trying to find a livestream so I can show my mum (said no one was blocking her view towards the camera)

there was a thing in my school where people stabbed the kids for their drinks and called them gay

everyone did this

>>79177109
Went to a private school that had a mister during the heatwaves.
When the mister wasn't there but it was still hot, we'd cut holes in the bottles and shoot them at people.
Eventually the teachers told us to stop and if we got too wet, we had to get a change of uniform at the nurse's office.

Lads is there a big difference between 59 fps and 60 fps?

>>79177109
That's retarded

>>79177163
Good lad.

>>79177179
'bout 1fps

>>79177160
I'm not a billionaire so not talking about London.

>>79177172
alri billionaire

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RIP Mike

>>79177136
how many poc friends do you think he has

>>79177099
Their non-political videos are actually really enjoyable and interesting. Especially if it has that Chinese-American lass in

I remember once this lad in year 8 did a fucking huge shit in the school toilets. I was desperate for a wank because I was 15 so I scurried out of science to the toilets and the only one that wasn't trashed as fuck was the one with the huge shit in. End up drawing a girls face on the toilet stall and staring into it pretending it was a teacher, turned around just as I was about to cum and blew my load all over the giant turd.

Word spread that someone had cum on the shit and all of a sudden people started taking turns going up a cumming on this huge shit in the toilets.

Fucking weird looking back on it, can't believe we had an impromptu gay scat bukkake party. ....

>>79177205
explain how their political videos aren't. see? you can't

>>79177203
he doesn't have any friends

>>79177211
this didnt happen

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Nice lad on the Joe Rogan Experience right now

someone took a shit in a urinal at my school and we all got sent home

*splashes you with a lucozade sports cap bottle

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>>79177136

>>79177249
the nose knows

>>79176840
5,3,4,2,1

in truth 5 is the only fuckable one

Someone hung themselves in the art classroom and we all got sent home.

Autistic lad in work keeps blocking the toilet with his massive turds desu

>>79177211
been a while

>>79177192
>using public transport outside London

oh dear

past tense of shit is shat just fyi

>>79177310
someone took a shat in a urinal at my school and we all got sent home

>>79177292
>hung

>>79177292
suicide is the highest artform

>>79177310
what's future tense of shit

girls in year 8 english always used to ask me for a picture of my willy and show me the willies of other boys in the years above
made me feel really sad because I knew I couldn't measure up, they always used to talk about how they'd been fingered and shagged the other night, once I tried getting my willy hard and showing them the outline of it through my trousers, when it was fully hard I told them this is how big it was flaccid, they just said it was a bit small

teacher died in the class and we all got sent home but first we had mass

On the subject of weird stories, when I was 14 I wanked myself off to a picture of my nan when she was 19

She died later that night

teacher bummed us all and we got sent home once

>>79177249
that schnoz

it's physically impossible for a man under 6 foot to beat up a man over 6 foot

>>79177358
polish or irish traveller or nigger please go

>>79177333
whoops. I mean shit as a verb

:V

There was a lad at my school who used to drag a baby doll on a string behind him

it's physically impossible for a willy under 9 inches not to fit in my arsehole

My nan's cat got put down
:(

>>79177386
wrong

got suspended once for hitting a deaf kid in the eye with a pencil.

>>79177391
there are catholic schools all over britain, you mong

and then I said "That's not a barmcake, that's my wife!"

>>79177136
why is he wearing it with an orange v neck
fucking clown

>>79177412
pics

there was a lad at my school who threatened to shoot me once

might wank but not entirely convinced

I'm 5'9 and people laugh at me in the street

lads what's the biggest thing?

>>79177459
wank and think of me when you do it ;)

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gf

>>79177438
yeah, and they're all full of travellers, polish and niggers

>>79177478
your mum

>>79177463
fucking manlet cunt

https://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=1629
https://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=1629
https://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=1629

>>79177347
lol owned

>>79177501
waheyyyyyyyyyy

waheyyy

waheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

wahey

waheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

wahey!

waheyhey

wahoy

wahooo

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*heems you*

>>79177490
miss alice?

>>79177490
Ok this might get me to wank

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>>79177478
UY scuti probably

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Rate the new barnet lads

used to feel really sorry for 1 particular retard in the year below me because he was built like a bouncer but had the mind of a toddler although he didn't dribble or anything. he was just a really simple, shy and nice guy but every so often people would hover round him trying to wind him up and he'd just try to back away and get himself corners with his rucksack strap folded over, his jacket balled up under his arm and his trousers riding up his ankles. really innocent and sad looking

>>79177478
theres a big thing in space, saw a video on it. its really big. much bigger than they thought big things were.

>>79177561
that's my grime name

>>79177561
thought canis majoris was the biggest star?

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>"yeah i disagree with leftists on somethings"

HOWLING

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4855468/Prankster-tells-boyfriend-SHAVED-head.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4855468/Prankster-tells-boyfriend-SHAVED-head.html

>>79177494
no they're not. they're full of the better pupils actually they attract parents who put more thought into their placements

>>79177607
this killed my desire to wank

>>79177542
should add one called 8 year old drag queen

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>>79177635

his nose is painful to look at. it looks like it'd hurt to have a nose like that

>>79177598
nope, not even in the top 5

>>79177612
it's not even funny you fucking Surreycunt

>>79177136
unknown pleasures?

don't like when Joe has 3-4 guests on at a time and they're all cackling and talking/shouting over each other and you never know what the fuck they're even talking about

>>79177635
it's crazy how close everything looks from far away

>>79177672
He's such a boring guest

12 years a slave on at 9pm on film4. thats my night sorted

film4 putting out a lot of good films this week

Does the government have a responsibility for those who can't provide for themselves?

found it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTKv5LUfITc

>>79177635
5'11" - mercury
6'0" - UY scuti

>>79172225
*gets raped by a paki*

>>79177626
literally full of polish, irish descendants, irish travellers, blacks and indians they aren't 11 plus grammar schools or anything, the feeder catholic primary schools are swarming with polish children who don't even understand english

>>79177735
>replying to a 2+ hour old post
kys

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really really like this picture

>>79177716
if they were employed and paying taxes up until the point they couldn't then yes cause thats why you pay taxes

>>79177743
in northern ireland and scotland they're the best schools . I'm willing to bet it won't be much different in england. ta x)

Saw a lad from my old school at the gym today lads, didn't even acknowledge him lol. Autism is out of CONTROL

>>79177786
How the fuck did a post in the same /brit/ thread get to 2 hours old? Back in the good old days we'd get through about 5 threads in 2 hours

>>79177835
do you have autism

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din dins

>>79177858
ah ye snot enough to just have the funny picture, must have the self insert narrative as well x

>>79177864
no

>>79177846
No that's why you pay insurance.

Tax is for affording astronomically expensive things and for helping the wider community.

might get in a fight with somebody

>>79177635
>>79177664
why are we so small

>>79177933
>astronomically expensive things
such as social welfare?

>>79177696
o/

>>79177862
This a recycled thread

Did a poo, left it and everyone in the arndale centre started cumming on it

>>79177970
such as major infrastructure, highways, railroads, trident missiles etc

>>79177846
What about those permanently disabled

>>79177954
speak for yourself

t. betelgeuse native

WAHEY LADS I'VE JUST WOKEN UP

>>79178037
absolutely mental

>>79177860
>in northern ireland and scotland they're the best schools
Oh I wonder why

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miss eurovision
canny wait for world cup

just woke up lads
did a poo and now i'm brewing a coffee

Threw my poo inbetween the double glazing
Someone call the BBC

on the valium

>>79178037
can't even begin to countenance this

>>79178064
because they pull in the most diligent families

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sexy ladie's

>>79177864
he does im his doctor

Mum's ringing shut up for a second lads

>>79178082
Wrong order. Coffee first THEN poo

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you arrive in plymouth

>>79178083
Started sharting myself when I discovered a redditor did this

>>79178100
Jealous

>>79178167
Depressing

might start baking
whats a good thing to cook?

might have the opportunity to shag a woman in her 40s on Friday night lads, should I go for it?

nearly 30 and teenagers keep flirting with me
bit weird desu

>>79178209
jews

kinda mental to think how much of the universe hasn't been discovered yet

there's a very real possibility there's a distant planet which we haven't found yet with it's own /brit/ where they talk about doing a wank and other exciting subjects just like us

mental

>>79178212
no

>>79178083

I thought this was a meme until I saw it on BBC news.

Banter

>>79176531
WE
>>79176531
ARE
>>79176531
ALL
>>79176531
IN
>>79176531
HERE
>>79176531

>>79178020
yeah. sucks having to do it but we can't just let them die on the street like some third world shithole

would rather see tax money go to their welfare than be pissed away on some other ridiculous bullshit

>>79178209

Nutella cookies

hahaha... penrith

>>79177027
wot t fuck yer talkin abaat baaaarnsley is the centah ov the world ya bloody paki

File: hull centre.jpg (2MB, 2272x1704px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2272x1704px

>>79178167

you arrive in hull