The Funniest Ever /brit/ Post edition
I hate having to mix with normal people and tiptoeing around subjects that will offend them like my family's second home and all the holidays I go on and where I went to school. If I accidently drop a hint that I'm rich you can feel the seething passive-aggressive loathing coming off them afterwards. Why are peons so touchy and resentful? I certainly wouldn't fly off the handle if I met some Arab or Russian who had billions more than me, as long as he wasn't a dick about it. Honestly just feel so much more comfortable around my public school friends
thank you anglos for creating our cuntry
first calle calle
Sick of mum making puff pastry pizza. Literal meme food.
>>76624738
FOB, stop gloating you fucking prick
i've only ever met unemployable shut-in depressives, where do all these intellectual NEETs with interesting lives live?
OPPA GANGNAM STYLE
>>76624754
bacon should be browner
>>76624738
neck yourself posho
http://metro.co.uk/video/tory-mp-peter-bone-wears-crazy-hat-house-commons-1376641/?ito=vjs-link
http://metro.co.uk/video/tory-mp-peter-bone-wears-crazy-hat-house-commons-1376641/?ito=vjs-link
http://metro.co.uk/video/tory-mp-peter-bone-wears-crazy-hat-house-commons-1376641/?ito=vjs-link
someone explain why he can't wear a hat and why he sat down like that
>>76624756
again, with such a pessimistic and jaded mentality you are literally fulfilling your own prophecy. dont you understand how idiotic that is?
>>76624781
just like the UK
*pedals towards you*
>>76624803
zing
>>76624309
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as the Daily Mail,
is in fact, The Mail Online, or as I've recently taken to calling it, The Daily Mail Online.
The Daily Mail is not a news corporation unto itself, but rather another free component
of a fully functioning wider system made useful by having the same editors, managers and business strategy as the Daily Mail Online, these components together comprising a full news corporation as defined by the Press Association.
Many readers read a modified version of the News Corp system every day,
without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the Daily Mail Online
which is widely used today is often called "The Daily Mail", and many of its users are
not aware that it is basically the Daily Mail Online system, developed by Rupert Murdoch.
There really is a Daily Mail, and these people are reading it, but it is just a
part of the news network they use. The Daily Mail is the kernel: the core organ
that allocates the corporations's resources to the other programs that we run.
The corporation is an essential part of a newspaper, but useless by itself;
it can only function in the context of a complete journalistic system. The Mail Online is
normally used in combination with the Daily Mail business system: the whole system
is basically The Daily Mail with Online added, or The Daily Mail Online. All the so-called "Daily Mail"
distributiors are really distributions of The Daily Mail Online.
>>76624775
have an admiration for melancholic mentally ill philosophical NEETs and the wisdom i take from them
when i was a teenager, that philosopher NEET was my mate's older brother. seemed like such a clever guy to me. he was incredibly left-wing though. as i got a bit older, started to notice his mental illness more profoundly.
a year ago i made a good mate with an israeli libertarian, similarly a very deep thinker with some fucked up personal issues.
and in the past few months i've been listening to a lot of millennial woes.
i wonder, if the depressed outcast NEETs of society weren't so mentally ill, would they be so interesting?
>>76624754
>those trainers
state of you lmfao
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ok3TKcoyh5
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ok3TKcoyh5
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Ok3TKcoyh5
>>76624738
I got on better with state school people at uni than the other indepdents (not that the independents hung around with each other it was truly cross pollinated, although I guess that wouldn't be the case if I went to a better uni).
Still I can't deny there are a few attitudes my classmates had that I just prefer.
lunch date with the jewish girl went very well
I guess I'm getting married in the near future then
>>76624738
>tiptoeing around subjects
this is why you're a runt. one thing people hate more than a trust fund kid is the ones who don't even have the decency to be upfront about it.
>>76620437
oh no no no no no no
>>76624775
they dont exist.
>>76624843
will you convert?
>>76624795
The rules say you must be attired appropriately for the business of the house. That means a suit of a neutral colour and no headwear.
He sat down like that because he can't be penalised by the speaker if he's already finished speaking and retaken his seat. He had to be down before the speaker got up
>>76624880
I'm jewish too
>>76624801
>Hurr stop being pessimistic and jaded about the objective reality
lol what am i supposed to do?
Yes! I get to keep working till i'm 70! great!
Yes! I get 20 days off a year cool!
Yeah! I can afford things I don't even have the time to properly use, wicked!
fuck off - the alleged virtue in hard work is a lie. anyone who relishes in the wagey lifestyle has a few braincells missing and is essentially the play thing of corporations who take advantage of his basal desires.
I am aware of how shit working is, but to even afford necessities like food or housing I have to play the game.
>>76624892
why doesn't the speaker just wait until he sits down?
NEED to make cummies with a cute girl ngl
>>76624918
ok mate. enjoy your shitty life.
big fan of this picture
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H8iqtznYPk
MANLETS
WHEN
WILL
THEY
LEARN
>>76624933
BLACKED when?
Option one: work hard, create opportunities, better yourself, become proficient in what you do and enjoy the success that comes with it
Option two: WE NEED MO MONEY FO DEM PROGRAMZ TAX THE BANKERS THE BONUSES
why are people turning on john snow
deodorant is a scam
>>76624924
What?
Once he's sat down the house business moves on to the Minister's response, so individual action against the MP in the hat can't be taken. The only option then is to end the session
>waaah why do things cost money
abloo bloo bloo
>>76624952
t. wobbly may
Is it a requirement for every working class woman to be obsessed with love island?
>>76624952
leftcom and changing the nature of work is the only option
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>76624952
>just work hard lmao xDDd
fuck off tarquin
>>76624930
my life will probably be on the surface a successful one. I'm in a good career, doing interesting shit and I'll be earning good money as it continues.
The thing is I feel wholly unfulfilled because I don't really have the time to become a guitar maestro whilst also learning another langauge, whilst also lifting weights, whilst also studying maths and philosohpy, whilst also having a productive social life and I never will, because by the time i'm free of the burden of work I won't have the energies required to undertake those things either.
It's a prison lad.
*chimps out*
https://youtu.be/hl43PxFR4mU
>>76625020
So quit and do all those things
Never been in a pub
do I order a specific brand or how does it work
>"so anon what do you do"
>tell them i'm an engineer, maybe say a bit about what i'm working on
>"wow you must be pretty smart"
>have to play it down and be modest, when i know full well i'm pretty fucking smart
what is a banterful way of responding?
how to succeed in life
step 1: have rich parents
step 2: there is no step 2, that was it
>>76625016
t. worked really hard to get into Oxford Brookes
>>76624952
*Gives £1,500,000,000 of taxpayer's money away as a bribe*
is it weird to not use deodorant or cologne? i never use it even when i go out
Sick of the miserable rat race that is life
We need radical change
>>76625038
>nah, I'm a fucking dumbarse
>>76625046
t. worked really hard to get sent to an elitist independent school
>>76625038
"smart about engineering, but I'm shit at ..."
Insert a thing they might be good at or that will continue the conversation.
>>76624956
he's unlikeable, comes across as an arse
Labour and their magic money will make this country great again
how to succeed in life
step 1: don't be thick
step 2: there is no step 2, that was it
>>76625059
Sweaty cunt
>>76625038
just say yeah I am
cba wasting my time on conversation with such runts
>>76625065
>We need radical change
join the legions of radical centrism, comrade
>>76624956
He got pissed at Glasto and started cheering for Labour
>>76625038
>what is a banterful way of responding?
"yeah im a fucking genius me" (ironic/witty tone)
then move on
LADS! LADS! NAKED ATTRACTION IS BACK TONIGHT
>>76625035
>just quit
and how will i eat? where will i live? they've got me by the balls my man.
>>76625036
You can order a specific brand
But if you just say 'ill have a beer' then the bartender will give you some options, and be all like ' do you want draught or bottled ' and stuff
>>76625038
i always say 'ahaha well its less about intelligence and more about completely foregoing any kind of social life' even though thats not at all true and i have a v good social life
>>76625069
too false
>>76625078
i do this normally but it seems a bit of a dull response
>>76625036
no you just hand the wench your mug and she'll fill it up with the beer
>>76625092
people with connected parents but no degree have more opportunities than working/lower middle class people with good degrees
>>76625065
wtf I hate taylor swift now
>>76625059
>cologne
fuck off yank
>>76625036
don't believe you
>>76625065
>le white women dying for big black dick is just a meme
state of lil dick white bois
the fu
>>76625038
>what is a banterful way of responding?
"well that's what I've fooled my boss into thinking anyway."
^ that's how i answer these things
>>76625075
The top schools are highly, highly selective but plebs don't know that.
>hurrr u just got in becoz ur daddy is rich
Yes he is, but I'm also incredibly smart
>>76624952
Is this "with hard work you too can be successful" shit as a much a meme in the UK as it is in the USA?
>>76625036
you go up to the bar and say
"hey man, get me a beer"
what the intellectual equivalent of Heeming?
want to make a post explaining that im the smartest fella in this thread, but i dont know how to phrase it.
eg: instead of
'reckon i could absolutely heem anyone itt'
'reckon i could absolutely _____ anyone itt'
>>76625171
Must be nice not having to work for a living and just riding your dad's coattails
>>76625176
social mobility is far lower here than in the US
>>76625190
outwit
>studying economics
>"hey anon what's your major"
>economics
>"oh wow I failed my first econ class"
This is the response I get from a good 60% of people I talk to. Why? What the fuck is it about basic arithmetic and common sense that people do not get?
>>76625125
does everywhere have the same generic beers available or how
can I just order a guinness
>>76625190
>'reckon i could asbsolutely zepp anyone itt
smarting than literally EVERYONE in this thread, IQ of 127
>>76625199
nigger
hang the bankers' bonuses
why is it when you pinch of a big poo it gives you the sharts the rest of the day
>>76625214
the average IQ is 100 which means half of people have sub-100 IQ
people are fucking dumb
Cheeky cheesecake
>smarting
>>76624754
How much do these cost?
>>76625171
Not necessarily. The top private schools operate on a US-University like system where although 90% of places are highly competitive they also do take bribes of sufficiently high value.
I went to St Pauls School London, and one of my mates was the son of this literal billionaire ($1.5bn iirc) who was a complete stoner and didnt do any work at all, as well as being pretty thick to boot
but his parents funded a whole new floor for the science block and, tada, he was accepted into the school the next year
last i heard hes going to Stanford, which fucking irritates me even though im supposed to be his friend because of how much he patently doesnt belong there
>go to greggs
>get called a nonce
>get called a bender
>get called a racist
ah yes, the "greggs" experience
shan't be going there again
poo bum bum bum
This society is actually incredibly meritocratic. If you're smart it's perfectly possible to become very, very successful without connections or a trust fund. The people who think it's unfair are just thickos who were never destined for success in the first place and completely deserve their shitty existences
kissing a bloke is gayer than fucking one
chune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ_uKVLdKcE
anime
>>76625171
met a couple of lads from harrow once
met a couple from winchester
met quite a few from manchester grammar
all thick
"competitive" my arse, the only competition is who has the wealthiest parents
>>76625256
FOB
So last night it happened. I had sex after 8 years of celibacy. I took y'all's advice and told him "it's been a while, lets take it slow" and I wasn't shit-faced, just a little drunk.
Anyways, it went fine. It hurt quite a bit and I'm sore today. Apparently he's the type who takes a loooong time to cum which kinda sucked. So he took the condom off and I gave him a BJ. And then we fucked again - without a condom.
I also had to fake an orgasm because he wouldn't cum before I cum and I was honestly just ready for it to be done. I feel like a dumb 15-year-old right now 'cause I had promised myself never to fake it and never to fuck without condom. He didn't come inside me, but I'm not on birth control so still a little freaked out - and I think I might have said yes when he asked if I was on the pill, honestly can't remember, that part is a bit of blur. Also freaking out about diseases.
Something awkward happened during sex. Queefs. Any way to avoid that? It was embarassing. Afterwards he said that he could tell I was nervous, so I clearly sucked. Not sure if I want to/should have sex again soon.
hello mr employer I'd like to work half the days I currently do thanks
business idea: encourage rich and intelligent people to have more children
>>76625269
t. son of a banker
>>76625269
>laughing at the less fortunate
And people wonder why the Tories are the "nasty party"
Just got fired from Greggs for abusing a customer ahaha
>>76625269
yes its possible for the smart + poor to rise upwards
but its much much much much much harder
so its not really meritocratic except in select areas of society eg: scientific study/research
business idea: mandatory overtime
>>76625290
men cant get pregnant or queef
>>76625269
I'm smart and I am successful
its still a fucking depressing slog though mate. And I watch people who were just handed shit do as good as me.
>>76625280
None of those are good schools compared to the really good ones like Westminster. We used to look down on Harrow as a thicko school
business idea: set the minimum wage to a single peanut
business idea: rent my arsehole out to sailors
>>76625296
they did that somewhere i think
australia maybe
i think Terrence Tao was the result of that policy or summat
>>76625319
i-it isn't already?
u dont need #heterosexualprideday bc
- nobody thinks ur sexuality is invalid
- nobody is taking ur rights away
this has been a psa
business idea: 23 hour workdays
two and a half days of training at work next month
don't want to do it, it's boring regulatory stuff. no i can't skive, that's unbecoming of someone who tells others not to skive.
>>76625353
apparently a lot of women seem to think that my sexuality is invalid (And thus deny me it)
business idea: feudal capitalism a la Japan
Ulster Scots is a REAL language
Business idea: 40 hour workdays, 5 day weekends
business idea: being a good boy
Business idea: lure others into joining a club and ripping them off when they decide to leave
business idea: hour of P.E every day in work. done in white vests and shorts (pants if shorts are forgotten). activities involve climbing frames and football.
>>76625332
doesn't matter, they're highly rated. for what it's worth i've met a lot of simpletons who somehow got into oxbridge too, they didn't have wealthy parents.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Paul%27s_School,_London
>founded 1509
Err is that normal for british schools? Thats older than my native country lmao
my parents both came from working class backgrounds where at least one of their parents had either died early in their life or had abandoned the family.
they just had some brains in their heads, were good with their money and worked their arses off. all while raising 3 children to a good standard.
now they live a very comfy middle-class existence in a big house in a nice part of the country and are looking forward to a great retirement.
people who say social mobility doesn't exist are either lazy or stupid. effort + focus = success.
business idea: my dick in your mouth
>>76625403
>CHOOKIE
always makes me chucle
>>76625403
>>76625353
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40446096
They're too busy fighting each other to care about straights anymore
>An LGBT+ organisation has apologised after some of the messages it created to publicise a forthcoming gay pride campaign were criticised.
>On seeing one of the posters, which used gay as a pejorative, Twitter user Ryan James said: "Imagine being a kid at school who dies a little every time they hear something called 'sooooo gay' and then seeing this trash."
>Some have complained that the campaign concentrates too much on the gay and lesbian members of the LGBT+ community. Twitter user Pippin Drill said: "Not a single mention of bisexuals, but plenty from straight people. Interesting. #LondonPride #Biphobia."
>Another poster which has caused offence read "Befriend a gay person and win a prize. Friendship", while another said "My gay friends make me more attractive by association". Hundreds of people complained about the campaign on Twitter,
>Twitter user Jamie said: "I'm shocked at how @LondonLGBTPride have managed to badly stereotype straight allies and completely alienate and insult the LGBT community."
>>76625415
Mandatory workplace exercise doesn't sound that bad of an idea actually
Business idea: bring up your children properly so they'll enjoy reading and learning like those kids with middle class parents, instead of ranting about the elites and the toffs keeping you down while puffing clouds of cigarette smoke over your drug-addicted infant
>>76625409
*invests*
*becomes bankrupt*
>>76625429
>my parents
Ignored
>>76625429
And you will act like you earned your good life despite living off their legacy like a leech
>>76625429
>were growing up the boomtime
ah yes
would like to see them try the same in post-2008 britain ahaha
how do you say "wanking" in ulster scots?
as in wanking my pintle
just drove through a zebra crossing without stopping for the pakis lmao
>>76625479
wanken
>>76625480
good lad I only stop if they're white
wish i wasn't in the UK the class system shit here is really sweltering.
So we have a parliament, but we haven't voted on anything yet
Anyone on here genuinely never had sex?
What is your age and why are you still a virgin?
>council will leave graffiti everywhere
>a single little nazi scribble gets reported and removed immediately
Doing a think
>>76625450
Yeah but check out /our guys/ in Chicago
>Organisers of an LGBT-rights festival in Chicago are being accused of anti-Semitism after they expelled marchers carrying the Star of David.
>The rainbow flags with the Jewish symbol "made people feel unsafe", an organiser told the Windy City Times.
>Laurel Grauer said she was told to leave the so-called Dyke March "because my flag was a trigger to people that they found offensive".
>The organisers later hit back, saying Israel hides behind LGBT-rights.
>In a social media post, the Dyke March said: "This decision was made after [the expelled marchers] repeatedly expressed support for Zionism during conversations with Dyke March Collective members."
>In a statement, the Dyke March Collective later accused Ms Grauer's organistion of "using Israel's supposed 'LGBTQ tolerance' to pinkwash the violent occupation of Palestine".
>>76625479
wenk
imagine rubbing your cock all over a bloke's hairy arse
>>76625508
Girls legitimately do not interest me
>>76625512
>fixing general untidiness is lower priority than removing hatespeech
NEURONS FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS
>>76625507
Mr Speaker, I put forward that parliament be dissolved permanently and Tommy Robinson is made dictator for life
>>76625514
>"using Israel's supposed 'LGBTQ tolerance' to pinkwash the violent occupation of Palestine".
>>76625514
hope they realise being in palestine would get them stoned
Make 30k part time
Wouldnt trade my job for any of you "rich and successful" goofs jobs
Enjoy for 80 hour week for mr noseberg
>>76625526
imagine rubbing your cock all over a bloke, whose indistinguishable from a woman,'s hairless arse
reminder that if you haven't spunked in the fanny of a virgin girl for free then youre still a virgin
>>76625508
27
also never had a date
am super ugly
am also genuinely not that interested in sex (would love a gf tho)
>>76625507
second referendum on leaving /anglo/
>>76625553
my car doesn't have cylinders
>>76625553
implying swastikas are hate speech
bet you think the nazis were the bad guys lol. third eye fully calcified
>>76625557
I second the motion
Social mobility in the United Kingdom is indeed lacking.
I told my counsellor I hate pakis and feel inferior and intimidated by whites
One 1 trophy away from platinum on Digimon
>>76625508
ive only ever been fucked, im too shy + anxious to try fucking anyone
i tried once but i was so scared + nervous i couldnt get hard :P
maybe when im in a long term relationship ill have time to build up the courage to try
lads i work as an mp for the government here, what question should I give at question time?
>>76625564
what job
>>76625508
Me.
33 and still a virg. Had opportunities, but am so ashamed of my body I can't get naked, on even wear t-shirts for that matter. I had a growth spurt as a teenage and ended up with stretch marks all over (thighs, groin, waist, biceps, armpits), looks fucking awful.
>implying swastikas are hate speech
>bet you think the nazis were the bad guys lol. third eye fully calcified
>>76625611
Fuck off bender
>>76625615
ask when you will recognise the independent republic of kekistan (praise kek)
>>76625557
As a Radical Centrist it is my duty to abstain from any vote not brought forward by us
My counsellor told me he's speaking to a female clinical psychologist colleague and they both think I'm a good candidate for CAT (Cognitive Analytic Therapy)
just traded 2 ETH for 800 DCORP
think I will have retired by this time next year
>>76625508
26
never been to a club/pub/other place to meet girls that others do
only been to a couple of parties and have been too autistic to talk to anyone
never talk to anyone at work
havent had any friends since i was 17
so really i can't imagine meeting a female let alone putting my penis in one
>>76625640
imagine the tongue splinters, would hurt
just had a sublime bagel desu
>>76625575
bring it forward to parliament then
>Queen's Speech succeeds by 14 votes
Fuck, why even bother having the DUP
>>76625648
That stands for Cock and Arsehole Therapy lad
@76625648
you're also a good candidate for my fist connecting with your temples
say you ask your friend for a chip from his plate, he says OK. the chip you take turns out to be so gigantic that the mound of chips appreciably sinks once it is removed. it wasn't clear that this chip was so big until after you touched it.
would you put it back and take another, respecting your friends meal?
or would you eat the big chip, thinking your friend wouldnt want you touching more of his food?
http://www.strawpoll.me/13315539
http://www.strawpoll.me/13315539
can't believe i'm sharing my late age virginity with deforms like >>76625631 and actual autists like >>76625659
[just kidding guys i'm uglier and autismer than you both]
business idea: family planning, drug and crime abstention and hard work
>Look up my school on wikipedia
>12 paragraphs on the history
>7 paragraphs on the buildings
>8 paragraphs on the daily routines and traditions
>0 paragraphs on the huge child abuse investigation that lasted 5 years, resulted in 8 convictions of teachers and was so major it had its own codename - Operation Winthorpe
Hmmmmmmmmm
can't cook dinner because house mates are cooking rightnow.
absolutely starving.
>>76625659
>>76625631
>>76625571
why don't you just have sex lol
*razes house down*
*builds a nicer one*
just londoner things
>>76625739
why don't you just learn how to read lol
>>76625735
Then add a section, that's the point of wikipedia
>>76625631
i have this problem aswell. was like 6ft2 in year 8 and have stretch marks all over my arse, thighs, groin, etc.
>>76625214
chances are theyre business students (very common pre-req for any business study), and most business students are retards.
>>76625788
show arse marks x
arse lol
>>76625735
>look up my school on wikipedia
>8 paragraphs (and its essentially just an advert to prospective parents)
>>76625631
>>76625788
bio oil
>>76625752
It was burnt down by arson actually iirc, some shady Russian guy owns it
t. live less than 2 minutes walk from there
its next to my gym actually
>>76625788
>lanklets
Lmao
not a virgin but haven't had sex for quite some time so I empathise with you lads
>>76625752
>woman in a headscarf bottom right
just londoner things
>>76625814
FOB
>>76625779
Thought you had to be an approved editor to do that
besides, i dont know the formatting ettiquette
Ive noticed that on /brit/ most people just talk to themselves
>>76625837
that's white hair you fucking cretin
what shall I have for tea? pasta methinks
Hey me how you doin
>>76625752
do they drive on the right in London or is that a OWS
>>76625836
>hehe my car ran out of gas so i empathize with you gypsies
yeah nah
>>76625860
Have to give myself (You)s so I fit in aha
>>76625837
thats hair you absolute moron
you can see the curls
youre so desperate for your /pol/ memes to be true to justify your miserable poorthener existence, its sad
having a chuckle at every third post
>>76625814
>t. live less than 2 minutes walk from there
yeah my dad owns microsoft
>>76625802
i also get big pimples on my arse every week so my bum looks like a fucking warzone
>>76625886
WRONG WAY
DOWN A ONE WAY STREET
>Notable former pupils
Member of fairly successful band
Soap actor
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Professional footballer
Olympic gold medallist
Author
thank you based chav school
>>76625837
look again retard
>>76625878
willy
SCREECHING
https://vid.me/B6ua
>>76625927
bradleyshitter just linked literal cp. hope he unironically goes to jail
>>76625922
>>76625896
>>76625869
howling at jamal and his mandem getting baited this easily
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PdQJcXk0sL
Rate the brit accent of a Palestinian who never traveled anywhere in his life
*says something feminist in a yank accent*
>>76625813
Doesn't remove them though
big fan of london
long row of Victorian style townhouses built right next to it too
>>76625906
heres a pic at the end of the road leading up to it i took a few days back
get tae fuck
>>76626115
boobs
>>76625971
You sound like a very respectable terrorist
>>76625450
>>76625514
Off yourself degenerate
>>76626115
tits
>palestinian
stopped reading there desu
/brit/ STANDS WITH ISRAEL
>>76626117
london does a great job in the actual "posh" nicer areas of preserving itself but it's willing to let the surrounding areas/areas which aren't so rich go to complete shit
>>76625171
Taking the bait and saying it's because the social conditions of being poor mean you have less free time. Do rich kids have to go to after school clubs because their parents are working? How many kids get their only food in school?
>>76626160
>'s willing to let the surrounding areas/areas which aren't so rich go to complete shit
err sweetie it gets gentrified smashed down and rebuilt as luxury flats
fucking degenerate
>>76625971
first few lines were bloody good
sounded uncannily like my own voice
but it suffers a bit as the sentences go on - you stay too 'breathy' and highpitched for too long and pause for too long between some words
https://vid.me/B6ua
HOWLING
bogpill me on Bath
looks like a nice place
Post vintage memes
Notable alumni has its own article for my high school
>Prime Minister
>Chief Justice of the High Court
>Attorney General
>Justice of the Supreme Court
>Flautist
>Actor
>Writer
>University Chancellor
>pioneer of Modernism
>National Rugby Union captain
>turtlemong
>>76626210
full of muslims
>>76625920
>Notable former pupils
Politician
Bishop
Lord Chief Justice of England
Bishop
Bishop
Politician
Bishop
Politician
Bishop
Novelist
Cardinal
Novelist
Bishop
Politician
Bishop
Novelist
Politician
Politician
Mayor
Conductor
Mayor
Actor
Politician
Eamonn Holmes
>>76626215
anyone remember this little gem of a meme
>>76626210
full of water
>made a thread on /tv/ and no one replied to it
>>76626197
Appears to be handicapped
>>76626234
FOB
>>76626178
as I said go to complete shit
wtf i hate tories now
>>76625971
8/10 you dropped a few letters but otherwise good. email the bbc, probably get a job.
gay lad is on dinner date tonight lads
bit repulsed
Washington - "Be courteous to all"
Lincoln - "With malice towards none"
Donald J Trump - "I heard the poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don't watch anymore). Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year's Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!"
ofc the funniest thing of all is that Melania Trump is supposed to be in charge of reducing cyberbullying in america
what a joke of a country
>>76626249
Was it about little girls, capeshit or Bane?
If not, there's your mistake
If your school alumni doesn't have its own wikipedia page it's pretty much a non-school
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_educated_at_Westminster_School
6 GORILLION QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
about to go out
plans tonight lads?
@76626284
need posh twats to leave
>>76626284
>tee hee look how rich my family is
fuck off billionaire cunt
>>76626215
>>76626284
my school has like 5 people and all of them are irrelevent lmao
rate the trim lads
>>76626284
My school is famous for some boy dying after he chocked on a pen lid
Notable former pupils:
Guardian columnist
TV producer
NASA guy
Paralympian
Youtuber
Footballer
Actress
my school has the most prime ministers of any school
and my uni college has the second most prime ministers
shame im doing stem and not politics aha
>>76626334
alri grandad
Feel like pure shit just want her back x
>>76626263
You must've missed the Eamonn Holmes part.
>>76626284
I hope you're beheaded
alt-J has some tuuness
Business idea: we leave the EU but my bollocks remain
>>76626366
rajesh habeeb al-rasheed
>>76626383
t. hipster bellend
If your school wasn't exclusively run by ordained Catholic piests for more than 150 years then it's pretty much a non-school.
>>76626391
could get french truckers to drive down your japs eye and burst out ya bollocks at dover.
*blocks your path in the subway*
>im doing stem
>>76626429
exceptionally nice post
You're in the vintage clothes shop and this guy slaps your gf's arse
What do?
>>76626148
Thanks, I'll make sure to bomb you gently
>>76626187
> you stay too 'breathy'
Yeah i'm having some breathing problems lately and I read this the first time which is why there was some pauses, thanks for your feedback anyways
>>76626272
Thanks mate, I am actually planning to try out voice acting or baka in here
life
>wake up earlier than i plan because house mate wakes up at 6 in rthe morning and makes noise (unintentionally)
>feel grim as i wake up sleep deprived - but not enough time to reflect on it - desperately need to piss but have to wait for the toilet i left my toothbrush in to free up
>breakfast? no i dont want to be late, better start the commute
>8 hours of work
>commute back
>ah my housemate arrived before me and is cooking so i can't physically also use the kitchen
>sit in my room starving wishing i could just strangle myself with my mouse's wire
>post about how miserable i am on /brit/
>kitchen frees up
>cook dinner
>eat it but only end up finishing at like 10:30
>go to bed at 11
>wake up too early again as the cycle continues
>>76626284
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Old_Paulines
>OVER 200 NAMES
>>76626457
>$3.79 (2.50) for a shirt
Ameripoors lol
>>76626457
would absolutely turn him to dust with a flick of my wrist
>>76626494
where do you work la
>>76626497
>look how rich my parents are!!
big man
>>76626432
Fedoralad gots some moves
>>76626557
>being proud of your community is bad
alri' mate, toddle off now
civilised men are trying to talk
>>76626557
>look how poor my parents are!!
little man
>>76626599
>>76626664
can't wait to bash your heads in
tarquin
>>76626497
>mobile wiki
FOPP