>be walking down on street >suddenly, american tourist

I spaghetti all over the place because I know nothing about my own city.

give him false directions and laught about it rest of day

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>>76604873
"Putain de touristes!"
>walk past

>>76604873
I've noticed that american tourists are very nice even if they are dumb

shart myself in sign of respect, then give them all indications they need

>>76604873
"I don't speak english"

>>76604873
>implying I walk down the street anywhere

How common are American tourists in most European cities? I ask because almost every Euro poster seems to have some sort of experience with them, but I rarely see any tourists (both American and European) at all anywhere in the US outside of super-touristy beach destinations and New York.

i just point them in the direction of the nearest mcdonald's before they ask me anything

>>76605191
not trying to be mean but how do you even know who's a tourist and what not? Kind of a dumb question

>>76605243
You've never been to a European city, have you? Believe me, you can tell.

>>76605243
I meant people who ask for directions/take pictures of buildings/speak a foreign language. Of course I can't spot every single tourist.

>>76605243
>He doesnt travel with a fanny pack

>>76605191
>>76605243
You can spot American tourists by the Canadian flag on their rucksack.

You can spot Americans who live here by their slightly browner skin.

>>76605191
i work on a river cruise ship, my company's fleet has a dozen ships, mostly american passangers (some are aus, nz, gbr) and they are all full from march to december.
there's about 5-6 more companies like this, some with bigger fleet.

So only from this type of tourism, there is plenty american tourists in european cities.

>>76604873
Try to give them a good and correct answer because I'm not a real life memestar turbo autist.

I'd use my extensive cultural knowledge gained from /int/ and proceed to engage in simple small talk beyond answering the primary question about directions because I would know that Americans appreciate it (or even expect it as their own custom).

I would use my extensive historical knowledge and talk a bit of our current place and give some recommendations, even trying to string a common link in recent or older history, so we could share a brief moment of historical connectivity.

Then I would ask them about their home state and origins because I know it to be a strong point of their identity. (I might even engage in light banter if it turns out to be either a meme or an flyover state).

After we've shared a laugh and upon receiving my tip I would wish them to enjoy their stay and we would part ways.

>>76605691
german efficiency, remarkable. you've literally broken down our encounters into a formula....

>hey do you speak english???
>do you know the direction to x???
>thanksyoung man, we're from america in missouri. this is my wife, susie!
>lovely weather today, huh?
>what do you do for a living?
>is there a target around here?

>>76604873
I listen to his question
>>76605191
Never saw one

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>directions
>2017

>>76604873
Answer it

>>76604873
Usually American tourists are nice

I work at whole foods in Dallas and we have a fuck ton of tourists/foreigners coming in all the time. The Europeans are always fucking stupid and arrogant, mainly the Eastern Euros and French.

The Russians and Australians are cool though. The Central/South Americans are also cool and the women are really nice.

>>76605087
Did you expect us to shoot you on sight?
If not, you should have. You got lucky this time

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>>76605503

viking river cruises? my condolences

>>76606357
Not Viking. Like i said, there is a bunch of companies... But viking has the biggest fleet i guess.

>>76606357
Jesus Christ what the fuck is with these "people"?

Usually American family travelers are very well-mannered and pleasant to talk with.
It's American young tourists who are annoying, pretentious, loud and obnoxious.

>>76606573
Midwesterners

t. Orlando resident :(

>>76606531
Could be worse, you could be working in the Balerics, Kavos, Costa Blanca, etc

>>76606716

>Swamp creature trying to call himself "human" compared to Midwesterners

>>76606357
>epcot
this is a more common sight than you would think

>>76605691
wow it's a legitimately funny post by a german

>>76606656
>mature people behave better than immature youngsters
who knew
that doesn't apply to tourists from other cunts?

>>76606716
you think southerners are any better?

>>76606835
>orlando
>the south

m8 pls

>>76606767
tell me more about your norwegian heritage
are you enjoying the new somali restaurant in town?

>>76606835
In my experience, young Chinese & Korean tourists are actually pretty well-mannered.
It's Chinese families who are obnoxious and ill-mannered.
Well it might be that young Chinese tourists are actually from Hong Kong or Taiwan, and those rude Chinese families are from mainland.

>>76605691
fucking lost

>>76606005
You have never traveled or what ?
It's super expensive to use 4G when you're not in your country.

>>76606879
i didn't mean to single out orlando or you personally.
just saying there are a lot of fat people in the deep south / bible belt.
that said, what part of florida is considered deep south? north of ocala?

>>76605243
see in europe, even on the hottest summer days, no one wears shorts and t-shirt. Everyone in europe is always dressed well. It's bizarre but anyways you can easily spot the americans because they are dressed as tourist and they are taking pictures of what europeans see every day and find mundane like tiny roads and small cafes.

>>76607154
>see in europe, even on the hottest summer days, no one wears shorts and t-shirt.
t. never been to europe

>>76606005
I intentionally ask for directions so I can talk to the locals

>>76604873
No hablo ingles

>>76607015
how expensive depends which country you are from and which country you are in, right? For example AT&T (and others I am sure) has decent international packages and you can use your data wisely only when you really need it. Once a good chunk of the map is loaded you can disable roaming for a while, etc. much easier than asking for directions

>>76604873
>>76606357
Are these the kind of people we send over?

>>76607574
Yes. This is how you spot the American in Amsterdam. Australians have big backpacks. Americans dress like children and wearing a baseball cap as adult is the most American thing ever.

>>76604873
GRINGO PUTO

>>76607649
I literally never see this shit over here.

>>76605024
This

>>76604873
find a translator for him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK0jFkhta-I

>>76607861
Where do you live? Do we get the special Americans?

Every time I've run into a tourist here they have been French and stick out like a sore thumb.

>>76607649
Don't knock baseball caps until you wear them daily.

>>76607870
this is literally how /int/ works. pretend to be american (or whatever proxy you can find), say stupid shit on their behalf, and people fall for it and boom you created a meme.

>>76607884
not him, but he seems to be in a damage control mode. i mean i don't give a shit but i see a lot of fat people wearing shorts and baseball hats and what not, but most don't. but who cares really

>>76607649
We aren't sending our best. No wonder why people hate Americans

>>76607861
Same

>>76607884
You get the absolute shittiest ones

>>76607972
>>76608008
>that damage control

who are the "best"? they have the means to travel so they are probably ok?

describe the best of us, please?

>>76608030
The best refers to those of a healthy weight. A person can't be at their best if their fat.

>>76608030
It certainly isn't those pictured in >>76606357

>>76604873
I try to help him to the best of my abilities, and then I wish him good luck

>>76607972
I don't hate them. Why should i? It's just funny if you sit on a bench in Amsterdam to guess where the tourists are from. Americans and Australians are instantly recognizable.

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>>76608155
>Australians are instantly recognizable

it's not really that hard

>>76608155
How easy is it to tell which country someone is from if they are obviously European?

>>76607649
>wearing a baseball cap as adult is the most American thing ever
You know what? I'll take it, and fuck you if you meant that as a negative thing.
Baseball caps are practical and comfy.

>>76608237
>French - black beret with a blue/white horitzonal stripe shirt
>English - bad teeth
>Dutch - tall, holding a tiny beer
>Italian - blue overalls, red shirt, first letter of their name on hat
>German - sandals and socks
>Spanish - red neckerchief and v neck shirt
>Greek - one eyebrow
>Scandinavian - blonde, lumpy, no makeup

>>76608237
Eastern Europeans have square heads like in Minecraft. Everything brown is from south Europe. Germans try to speak German with you, just like the French try to speak French. The solution is to speak Dutch back to them.

>>76608278
That's why you are American. Don't blame me if i pick you out of the crowd haha

>>76608309
In fairness, I wouldn't wear that in Europe. I try to adhere to "when in Rome" as best as I can. I have a very American face, though, like the stereotypical Midwestern farm boy.

>>76605061
RARE (maybe)

>>76608351
Why? You are a tourist. Fuck it. If i go to America i have that horrible accent and look like i'm lost all the time.

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>>76605061
>FRENCH GUIANA

fucking
stealth
rare

>>76604873
People don't talk to eachother in the street here, we all have autism and I wouldn't be expecting it know how to give them correct advice.

>>76608037
so the healthy don't travel to europe?

>>76608427
No. Against the law.

>>76608278
he didn't imply it was negative or positive. he just said that's how he can tell. why are you guys so insecure

>>76608420
what if I engage in some friendly banter

How to spot a group of European tourists:
>Tight, button up shirt in white, blue or pink
>Depending on the weather, tight jeans or khakis or khaki shorts
>perfect posture
>regardless of weather, sunglasses resting above their forehead
>Phone in one hand, wallet in the other because pants are too tight to fit them
>If they have a wife her hair is probably shorter than his and looks like she's ready to munch a mean carpet

>>76608523
They're going to think you're either crazy or trying to sell them something.

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>>76608538
Fuck you.
No really fuck you.


I need an other shirt.