>be australian >wake up next to your sister >"

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>be australian
>wake up next to your sister
>"ay dahlin fahk moi that was a noice root last noight"
>ride a kangaroo to the shitposting plant
>get stopped by abos
>their faces haven't loaded yet because of high ping
>give them all your petrol anyway
>apologise for invading their country
>say thank you to the traditional owners of the land, the irrawajjialabumbajjiju people
>continue on your way
>shitpost hard on 4chan all day so you can afford to pay your internet bill ($1000 for 0.1bps connection, 3mb data cap)
>go home
>get mugged by abos again
>no petrol this time, give them some of your ping instead
>switch on the tv
>the wallabies lost to new zealand again
>"fahkin no worries m8 she'll be roight I'll just watch the loigue instead"
>the kangaroos lost to new zealand again
>"m-muh cricket"
>http://www.3news.co.nz/sport/video-highlights-australia-bowled-out-for-60-england-dominate-day-one-2015080706
>"m-muh afl"
>can't see what's happening, players' mullets blocking the camera
>go to new zealand, steal some pavlova and claim it was yours all along
>cry yourself to sleep muttering "m-muh hdi, m-muh gdp per capita"
>get bitten by spoidah
>die within seconds