>be american >still a baby >get dick mutilated >be

>americans tip the jew who cut their dicks

Why are europeans obsessed with the penises of American babies?

>be American
>Go out shopping aka McDonalds
>Busy Saturday
>Packed
>Dick feels dry
>Rush to designated cock moisturising toilets
>Massive queue
>Cock falls off
>

>>74397288
>why is dick water the most secret thing in american culture?
whats dick water?

>>74397375
Concerned of being jew'd.

>be american
>be baby
>get dick skin cut off
>now have to dip dick in water to use it
>forget to do it for 30 minutes
>dick instantly looks like butterfly boy's skin
>excruciating pain
>fellow american recognises my plight
>unzips my pants and puts my dick in some dick water
>instant relief
>will never forget to put dick in dick water again

>>74397456
well since you can't trust american tap water there's bottle water (walmart has a special section) that you use to moisturize your dick since it dries like crazy

File: 53d4ee8908fee_-_penis-beaker-mumsnet.jpg (14KB, 375x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>74397456
its a cup of water by your bed side you dip your dick in when it gets dry ???

in fact earlier today i had a crazy itchy dick and it was because if forgot my portable dickwater at home

>be american
>filters his dick water to get rid of fluoride

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>>74397479

What brand dick water do you guys use????

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This is a picture of an American who didn't water his dick in a whole day

>>74397635
walmart brand dick water will get the job done but when i have extra cash i get the FIJI brand dick water

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>be me 10th grade
>bit of a sperg but had some normie friends who brought me to parties
>At a party when a qt starts mirin hard
>start talking to her, shes really into me
>sensing the opportunity to get some succ I bring her into one of the bedrooms
>start making out when we get in
>she starts grabbing at my belt and pulling at my pants
>the powers of perception tell me Im gonna get the succ
>pull my pants down
>she starts sucking
>starts gagging and pulls my dick out of her mouth
>starts spitting out dry dick skin flakes
>leaves
>tfw realized I forgot to dip my dick in dick water earlier
>tfw I cucked myself out of succ because I for got to dip the dick

>be american
>cant take your dick water on the plane
>20+ hour flight
what do you do

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>>74397757
hearty kek

>>74397806
>cant take your dick water on the plane
So that's why they clap after the plane lands.

>>74397806
If he is unable to water his dick, would he die?

>>74397886
it would be extremely irritating

>>74397456
It's like updog.

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I hosted an American once (airbnb) but I didn't know about dick water at the time and pharmacies don't carry dick water here. I had to contact his embassy to get some dick water but it was already too late by the time they responded. We rushed him to the ER where he fell into a deep dick coma. They used gallons of dick water but he was completely unresponsive. He died of DDD* a few days later. It was terrible.

*Dry Dick Disease

I-is the reason Americans are so good in the Olympics at swimming because they constantly rejuvenate their dicks?

>be american
>go to the closest 7/11 to buy dick water
>tips saleslady
>sharts before leaving
>get out of the store
>get shot

Better be dead than having a dry dick tho

>>74398065

I rejuvenate my dick with your mum's cunt

>>74397389
You gotta stop making me laugh so hard, my dick is gonna fall off

>>74398077

looks like someone forgot to dip

delet

>>74397342
they d-tip the dick

>>74397288
lol every american knows that water doesn't really moisturize too well on its own
we prefer dick lotion and name brands only none of the cheap stuff

>be american
>finally get money to afford going to meet a friend in europe
>everything does smoothly, I stay at his place so I can get refill my dick water water bottle
>on the last day I fill it up again, head out to the airport
>on the line for the luggage inspection
>realize security wont let me pass because water bottle exceeds the maximum quantity allowed
>with the stress I start to feel a little itch
>security asks me to come forward and asks why I have such a big water bottle
>dont know what to say so I just look at his crotch area and again to the bottle
>I notice he understood something, come closer and whispers in my ear
>"i-is it dick water?"
>I nod yes
>winks at me and tells me I can pass
europeans are alright I guess

>>74398061
jfc i had a gf whos dad had the same thing happen
she was so traumatized she carried some dick water with her all the time

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Designated dipping cup

>>74398061
As child I was always wondering what my great uncle did with his cup of water under the table. Now I know

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I like this new meme

>>74398337

>meme

Dry dicks are no joke, Ivan.

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US Marine getting his daily supply of bottled dick water

>>74398393
>Dry dicks are no joke, Ivan.
this. No American would admit it. You see them all the time with a bottle of dip water.

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dipping your dick into this is critical if you want a good fap sesh

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>>74398472
it shouldn't be ordinary water

>>74398566
Can I still dip my dick in dick water if I'm uncut?

>>74398692
good luck getting a legal DW prescription if you're uncut

>>74397939
For you

>>74397288
Daily reminder that circumcision was created by the Jews just so they could sell dick water™

>>74398844
this

the amount of money ive spent on dick water is insane

tfw dry dick

>>74397511
>walmart
>that's the only store he knows since he learned about it on 4chan

>>74400010
So, what other store do you use to buy your dick water?

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>>74397288
Yeah man...I would have a savings account, but how could I ever save money AND afford dick water? You tell me...

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>>74400010
I don't think you're going to outbanter the people in this thread buddy.

I get my dick water at Hy-Vee or sometimes even Fareway, but Walmart has the cheapest dick water and by far the widest selection.

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>>74400243
next time post the original version please

>>74397288
Do americans have any microdickwasseries that help with this problem?

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>>74400443
Okay. I will. Thank you. Saved. I love you.

>tfw you drink a sip out of your dick water cup instead of the drinking water one

fuggg

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>>74400761
........they are supposed to be separated?

What have I done?

I can confirm.

Everyone in America carries dick water™ with them.

I did not believe before I got here but it's true.

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>>74397655
BRUTAL
R
U
T
A
L

>>74397635
>>74397517
>>74397511
>>74397389
>>74397456
this goes in perpetual screenshot(s).

>>74397862
lol
underrated post

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>>74405948
DESIGNATED DIPPING CUP

Reminder that the only reason why americans still practice circumcision is because of the dick water lobby's massive political power.

>>74406472
Include me in the screencap

>>74408805
there's already a Portuguese post.

>>74400243
All we want to hear from you burgeranons is
>i swear i wont let my children to be mulitated

Even if we save one dick from mulitation by shitposting here, i say it was worth it.

>>74410557
>one dick
one baby dick, for more awwwwww

>>74406472
Weak

>>74410657
be my guest.

>>74397939
He's a cut guy

memes aside when i was a kid i would jack off so much my dick would get red and raw and their would be scabs on the side