/brit/

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first for /brit/

hate niggerss

>>73071291
both elec and software kids did hardware classes so i think its just a name

>>73071265
Why are black people so good at dancing?

>>73071400
they have no fear because any retarded movement they do will just because its own meme

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Political satire

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>>73071265
Thought they were in gimp suits at first

>>73071400
dunno lad but they seem to have some innate sense of rythym thats why they make such groovy music

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lol that drumpfkins get mad at this pic

>>73071400
I don't understand that meme. Why is Acting Retarded While Black fashionable?

>>73071452
need a submissive in public but dominant in bed muslim gf to batter my bollocks into a pulp while not letting anyone else see her bare skin

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https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/apr/02/spain-drops-plan-to-impose-veto-if-scotland-tries-to-join-eu?CMP=share_btn_t

"pay extra to see who liked you"
fuck off with that

>>73071421
D-delet this!

>>73071466
alri celtnigger

>>73071452
you can see her whore forearms

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cara 2bh lads

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>>73071437
>Why is a "dad" any more special than some random person?

This might be the most edgy-leftist-teenager thing i have read today.

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>>73071494
In Muslim communities, she's a slag

>>73071471
Elaborate

Don't know what to wank to

do NOT reply to german flags

Had barely had a match on the old dating apps for the last couple of weeks, but somehow I've got 7 already this morning. Not sure what's changed desu.

business idea: remove (You)'s entirely except for those who have a 4Chan pass

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8452 days of no gf

rip great hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yhdLsfo8_Y

edgy

>>73071265
holy shit kill yourself already, you lonely, friendless fuck

>>73071541
Daily reminder that porn is bad for your sexual health

Look up
>your brain on porn
to find out more!

>>73071541
lystra faith

>>73071566
good post, americans feel far too at home in /brit/

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>holy shit kill yourself already, you lonely, friendless fuck

>>73071546
you finally reached the bottom of the barrel
>>73071535
app wants me to pay to see who liked me. but they'll let me know if we liked each other, so it means either i passed on them or haven't seen them yet. not worth paying for.

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>>73071545
rude

why did german women have babies with so many black american servicemen?

>>73071541
don't wank, store up your energy

>>73071595
Tinder? Are dating apps worth it in general?

morning lads

why did australian women have babies with so many black emus?

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Thoughts?

>le porn is bad for you

Theres no difference between cumming from porn all the time and cumming from fucking all the time irl

>>73071660
the thought of sucking the actual curtain part makes me gag

>>73071660
*suck* *suck*

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>>73071660
Gross!

>implying

>>73071660
i don't have a lot of control over my tongue

>>73071660
prefer licking the gf's arse to her fanny tbph

>he comes to /brit/ everyday because he has 0 friends irl

The idea of not having a girlfriend or friends for that matter and being so in a structural manner where I can't possible overcome it in four or more years makes me want to do a cide honestly.

Uruguay? more like u are mean

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>>73071688

>>73071707
me

>>73071660
>sucking the flaps

My gf fucking loves it when I suck the actual clit

>>73071660
I can barely stick my tongue out

thoughts on spittoons?

how do we deal with the celtic menace my germanic brothers

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So what did the head chef say to the wagie assistant chef?

blame my scottish genetics for both my big head and my hairiness

was watching the burnley game yesterday and there was a lad called ben mee playing. commentator kept saying 'mee on the left'.

>>73071770
you mean the sue chef

Ultimately, retarded ejaculation and the symptoms of DGS may cause frustration or anxiety, but it does not have to interfere with the ability to please your partner. A man can still be an outstanding sexual partner while improving on his sensitivity-related performance issues. Through communication with a partner and determination to rewire one’s masturbatory habits, DGS can be overcome and one can return to experience heightened levels of sexual intimacy during intercourse with a partner.

>>73071733
>>73071689
literal virgin tongue ITT

Going to spend the entire day on ket

>>73071784
and dont call me sue

>>73071784
sous chef fucking retard

didnt want jargon to get in the way of the joke

>>73071784
SOUS you fucking gremlin

Dad's first community service went alright apparently, although he's a bit worried that everyone else there is a heavily tattooed career criminal whereas he's a timid middle-class bloke. Maybe he'll make some new friends desu.

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haa... haa...

>>73071811
>>73071817
stupid fucking newcunts

>>73071825
can tell shes a fattie

>>73071825
m'nonce

>>73071821
your dad sounds like a chav lol

>>73071662
The theory behind this goes something like this
>Men are wired to want to fuck as many women as possible and porn exposes them to numbers of beautiful women that are unrealistic in real life. This gives your brain a kick. If you get used to this, having sex with an actual woman will not give you the same stimulation, leading to all kinds of sexual health problems like penile dysfunction.

>>73071821
bet your dad got bummed
poof dad

>>73071835
*steps on your runtish body, turning your thin bones to dust beneath my boot*

>>73071821
How does it feel to know that your dad has definitely taken dirty, criminal penis?

Just imagining him coming home, telling you it went alright and then walking slowly to the bathroom to shit out the AIDs spunk is making me laugh.

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>blocks your path

>>73071851
ngl it's the opposite with me

Years of masturbation and basically no female contact means that if I nofap for a few days, my gf can lie down next to me fully clothed and I will be as hard as diamonds.

Cannot wait for mummy and daddy to go out for the afternoon so i can use my toys

>>73071891
>dat jawline

kek

>>73071846
The very point that I was making in my post was that he was a misfit because he wasn't a chav.

>>73071858
>>73071870
He didn't go to prison, suspended sentence and community service. Maybe he got bummed at community service, but it seems unlikely.

>>73071789
yeah im pretty distraught about it
licking fanny was one of the things i always looked forward back when i thought that it would eventually happen for everyone

got a weak chin but cant even grow a beard to pass it
such is life

>>73071942
same but weak jaw not chin

>>73071920
*grabs you by the throat*
it's beatdown time

>>73071400
Africans are "good dancers" because they're proto-humans quipped with all the mobility gizmos of a monkey

business idea: physically destroy everything that displeases me

>>73071916
https://youtu.be/7oFVOJf0TzY

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can't believe this knobhead couldn't see my last ditch effort to checkmate him

he had me on the ropes big time and lost

>>73071916
same

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>>73071942
Got a pretty strong jaw and chin but I've grown a beard anyway

Makes me look like a right brute

foy

john smiths is the best beer

tastes absolutely glorious

just bummed this old middle class nonce when we were doing our community service haha

>>73071923
whats he done the naughty bugger

>>73072017
are you gay????

2 hour bus journey coming up desu

https://youtu.be/_KwsvFzRTGI
doing a watch

>>73071998
can't stand how women go for brutish plebs instead of an intelligent and cultured gentleman such as myself

doing a poo

*doesnt brush my teeth for 6 days*
*sneezes in your face*

>>73072083
don't do that

would gladly stamp tim lovejoy's head into a bloody pulp desu

>>73072034
The official story is fraud

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>>73072050
I bet you're an audiophile you self enticed semen guzzler.

>>73072098
reverend tim lovejoy?

got a bum deal on some fags

Considering doing an awaken from mine slumber and preparing a coffee and toast

>>73072038
just establishing my dominance over the other community service crims via my willy lad

>>73072097
>brazillian
>cares about cleanliness
Wow aren't you a rare breed sir

>>73072121
tim lovejoy is not a reverend

Black culture is the absolute worst in the world

There is literally nothing wrong with being an audiophile

>>73072136
I don't know lad, it seems like there'd be some other way of doing it that doesn't involve your willy going up a blokes bum. However, I admit I don't know all the facts so I guess I believe you.

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>>73072098
mfw

>>73072129
ah yes, british english

>>73072083
just brushed my teeth for the first time in a while
decent amount of blood but no pain for some reason

>>73072166
racist

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>There is literally nothing wrong with being an audiophile

>>73072184
nonce

I could kill everyone in Brit if I wanted because I never binned my knife.

>>73072204
Sherlock

>>73072195
Why do yanks post here? FUCK OFF

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>>73072184

The first question on today’s #bbctbq is: Should Scottish people living in England be repatriated?

watching this weird yank redneck cooking show where a hick woman makes hick food for her hick family. her husband's literally called 'lad'.

>>73072213
own a shotgun lol

>>73072166
how can something that doesn't exist be the the worst of anything

>>73072227
>listening from an iphone
>audiophile

>audiophile
what even is this?

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>>73072190

>>73072227
what's he listening to

listening to russian pop songs

quite fancy bumming some of the girls fromt he music videos

>>73072252
why do you think he is in so much pain?

>>73072268
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmkmrtnOMkA

>>73072166
>>73072204
>>73072240
I hope all of you have already seen this amazing piece of american culture

https://youtu.be/pw5pZpGh5Hg

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@73072153
hmm who allowed you to reply to me sweetie

>>73072286
women are disgusting

>>73072268
https://youtu.be/-ZujhoHZBsg

>>73072268
bad headphones playing off an iphone

>>73072286
shampoo - sham = what im doing right now

Well I am sickened by the intransigence of my government in refusing to clarify the status of EU citizens in Britain. I am sorry that you experienced the poor atmosphere of post-Brexit Britain, and the stonewall attitude of the Home Office. As far as I am concerned, people from Southern, Central and Eastern Europe are welcome here- they are on the whole well behaved and productive people, and are certainly a net benefit to Britain as a whole, and we will be substantially poorer in economic and cultural terms from their absence. Perhaps I am biased in my attitude, because my Paternal Grandfather was Ukrainian and Paternal Grandmother was Polish, who knows? With Scotland likely to leave the UK at some point in the next ten years, I am left asking myself who I truly am? My Maternal Grandmother is a Scot, my Maternal Grandfather was a mix of Irish and English. Add that to my father's mixed Eastern European heritage and, from a genetic standpoint I am Scot-Irish-English-Ukrainian-Polish- as such I prefer to think of myself as British rather than English, even though I was born, raised and live in England to this day. Anyway, I am British and European, and will continue to feel European even after my Government has contrived to take that identity away from me.

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/04/03/trolls-protest-shia-labeoufs-anti-trump-protest-art/amp

Are the users of /pol/ just misunderstood geniuses?

>>73071962
>>73071418
>>73071440
t. rejected by every girl he ever asked to dancewith

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me at work today

>>73072268
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv9wk5lgGFo

>>73072340
absolute state of you

where's FONT lad?

>>73072345
he's telling the fatter girl that he's got the moves in bed to impress her. She's saying she's good in bed and wanna test out his skills in bed.
He then tells her watch out cuz he's so good he might knock her out of the bed with the amazing skills he has.
Then the other girl wants to join and they wanna all sleep in the same bed....

>>73071917
pics

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>>73072325
>EU=Europe

Yes, it's working!

>>73072340
Where at?

>>73072340
>those shoes

>>73072381
up my arse x

>>73072340
why are women so narcissistic

>>73072340
would like to punch you

>>73072340
hahahahahahahahahahah u chelsea boot cunt

freedom of movement with china when?

>>73072381
at work

Why does it feel so good when the cum comes out?

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>>73072340
>turtle neck

Oh phimolad you ironic bastard

>>73072340
me on the other side of the window laughing at what a gimp you are

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me with the pepe sign

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Brother just arrived.
It's 6am.
He did the exact same thing yesterday.
Don't think I'll ever have the patience to keep up with this kind of parties.

>>73072411
autism

housemates have decided to play trumpet

exfoliated my face today and did other skin cleansing
look like a sick cunt for once ngl. could even chat up girls in the streets with no shame if i wasnt such an autist hahahaha

>>73072421
hes fuckign an american cutie tho

>>73072445
she look like the girls in the addiction helping group
utter mongrel

>>73072445
>she slept with anyone there
>she didn't show up exclusively to get the attention from /pol/ betas as they screeched "see? we gots prety gurls too xD"

>>73072421
>>73072467
>>73072464
hi there reddit

business idea: give poor people free housing in my constituency as long as they promise to vote lib dem

>>73072445
I doubt that Tbh

>>73072456
NONCE

political opinion: socialo-fascism

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>no Samurai Jack this week because of le april fools reddit mee-mee

wish this 'holiday' would go away forever

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>>73072467
>>too

alt-right has sexy girls

leftists have obese feminists with shaved heads

>>73072516
stick in the mud
billy no mates
party pooper
debby downer
negative nancy

>>73072533
>american education

extremely lonely hahah

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>>73072533
#SwoleLeft

applying for a position at a high school

>>73072542
no gf Tbh haha

>>73072533
>girls with political opinions that differs from the general media idea
hahahaha enjoy your loony bints

>>73072548
It is very worrying that people who post on 4chan could potentially hold any position of power over other people

a girl wants to try femdom on me

>>73072612
The beta vibes must be strong with you

Absolutely hate having to live with my siblings again, have to put my earphones and listen to anything when I just want silence because they simply don't know you're not supposed to watch youtube videos at a high volume at 6am.

>>73072595
just found out I need a driver's licence

probably going to kill myself soon. had enough 2bh.

>>73072649
try asking them to be quiet or go elsewhere if they can't

writing to my mp because there are too many europeans in /brit/ despite me voting to LEAVE the eu

can I pay someone to apply for jobs for me

business idea: british constitution that's hard to change and protects citizens rights and personal freedoms

>>73072686
t. zhang

>>73072647
nah

>>73072677
Did you vote remain? :^)

business idea: dismantling of the state

>>73072686
yeah they're called job agencies

>>73072677
Don't do it lad
Blogpost what happened

>>73072286
haven't shampooed in over a month
AMA

>>73072686
Do you actually want a job are you just filling out the booklet for JSA?

When I was on JSA I would literally just apply to every job on:

>http://www.indeed.co.uk/jobs?l={your_city_here}&radius=5&jt=fulltime&sort=date

On page 0 to fill out the required job seeking tasks with minimal effort. In the end I actually got a lot of interviews and a job this way.

>>73072686
job agencies are a thing you fucking spacker
mind you, someone as dumb and inept as you should probably not even be working
you spastic

5% of the 2.1 million burglaries reported in Britain over the last six years have resulted in a suspect being charged

>>73072725
Remember not to sleep on the road

>>73072685
Why yes I am European
>>73072679
Nah, don't feel like possibly causing conflicts I'll lose in the end. He's pretty big and has more power in the house than I do.

business idea: unemployed people put their names in hats and have jobs randomly assigned to them

>>73072768
commie

>>73072740
would really like to punch him

>>73072740
really feminine face

>>73072736
My dad was burgled a few years back. Someone kicked his door down and took a bunch of stuff. Now he has an expensive, more solid door. He got all his stuff back from his home insurance but still pretty unpleasant.

>>73072773
*sends you to work for the mines*

>>73072736
In germany it's 2,6%

Thanks Merkel

April stop shaking your head.
April PLEASE stop shaking your head
APRIL STOP
APRIL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

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>yfw google AI selectively chooses comical CAPTCHAs catered specifically for /int/

pretty scary

i can leave my door unlocked and no one steals anything because i live in a civilized country

>>73072792
>>73072736
At least we have diversity

>getting burgled

have literally never been burgled nor has anyone I live near or know been burgled

>>73071499
this 2bh

7th order intentionality

>>73072814
they usually happen in endz that's why so many go unsolved

keep a katana under my bed in case of intruders

>>73072814
>>73072814
fuck off hugo

>>73072807
Most burglaries here are comitted by eastern european gangs

want to wank but I can't find any porn video that does t for me. all seem pretty "meh".

i hide my crippling depression behind several layers of ironic humour haha

got burgled once when i lived with my parents
nothing got stoled even though they clearly searched through stuff. money, jewels and other valuables were all there

I've married many men, and I know where all the bodies are buried

what's my job

writing to my mp concerning my loneliness

>>73072836
I don't even live in that good of an area

the only people who get burgled are mongs who live in pikey infested shitholes, or mongs who don't lock/shut their doors and windows properly

>>73072848
liberal priest

>>73072844
they were looking for the artifact

>>73072839
https://reddit.com/r/gonewildaudio/top?t=all

>>73072859
what an ignorant line of text you just decided to type hugo

No one ever invaded any house I lived in t bh
That being said, I did get my cellphone stolen once. Nearly convinced the shitters to take a £20 book claiming it was worth 20 times its actual value but he got scared and left with the cellphone anyway.

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Might join this alt-right group, lads

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doing a read

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>73072885
okay londoner calm down

https://youtu.be/qNkxVBYhyME?t=1238

>>73072859
why would pikeys steal from their own kind when they are all poor anyway?

They go robbing on posh estates

>>73072893
never got robbed outside despite not living in a nice neighbourhood for the majority of my life

>>73072917
wrong again hugo

>>73072834
That's illegal and you've just admitted it. Now if you ever do use it, it's a premedited attack.

>>73072928
you'll get shot if you break into a rich man's home

>>73072951
okay

>>73072900
>reading literature of an electronic screen

turbo runt

>>73072907
I'll admit I panicked for a sec too

>>73072956
not in england

*steals your bike*

>>73072954
defending your life and property from intruders is not illegal

it's a basic right

>>73072894
how come they made it look like the black woman gave birth to a down syndrome baby

Wtf London?

https://youtu.be/6lQ51O3i1fk

>>73072954
>defending yourself against criminals invading your home is a premeditated attack

not him but I would cut a burglar in my house

>>73072560
most women are fucking loopers regardless of political ideology

>>73072991
you have to use reasonable force

>>73072934
I live in a nice neighbourhood but the city I live in was going through a shortage of policemen back then (2014)
Things are looking up now though

need a 2d gf

>>73072969
they probably have a shotgun which is why i said rich people

here you'll get shot regardless of if it's rich or poor who you're burgling

*steals your man*

theory: leafs and yanks have almost identical post quality, leafs are just bullied more since yanks outnumber them

>>73073003
and slicing them from head to toe with my expert katana wielding skills is not reasonable force?

>>73073015
State?

>>73073003
do not care about these so called laws in the slightest

won't change my behaviour and If necessary i'll deal with the consequences afterwards

>>73073022
canadians are still british. they bear no resemblance to america

>>73073015
maybe in the country but if you go robbing on posh urban estates nobody will have a gun

some idiots went to rob this rich guy in the country and one of them got shot to death and there was a massive deal over it in the media and he nearly got charged with murder

>>73071421
I wish I could suck a beautiful Brit feminine penis
;3

>>73073015
if you're a farmer or live rurally you can get a shotgun and maybe even .22 rifles easily enough. City slickers and suberbia drones cant though. They need to be part of gun clubs and stuff

>>73073032
you want to get hatposted don't you?

>>73073047
haha
you'll be cowering in fear if you got robbed

>>73073052
mate your cultures are almost identical

>>73073003
Reasonable force is a huge joke tbqh
You don't know what the burglar has with him, if he breaks into your property then there should be nothing wrong with killing him through any method.

>>73073038
all states that will happen but me i live in north carolina

>>73073000
Right you're nicked, sunshine

>>73073068
>>73073070
snap

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>>73071265
A GRIPPA
A GRIPPA
A GRIPPA
GRIPPA GRIPPA GRIPPA GRIPPA GRIPPAGRIPPAGRIPPAGRIPPA

>>73073073
>you'll be cowering in fear if you got robbed

you're chatting shit, plus i've been robbed several times before and wasn't remotely scared
don't project your cowardice onto me you little shit

australia and canada should merge

been having a lot of unfortunate memories of my distant past surfacing lately lads

worst one is where I remember waking after I fell asleep at the desk and my gf had her arms around me. she laughed a bit and said I fell asleep and then kissed me.

>>73073075
this

if you kill someone on your property or otherwise with proof that they are there to cause you bodily harm you should not go to jail

>>73073056
that's pretty mental that he would get charged for protecting himself

>>73072991
Stashing an offensive weapon under your bed explicitly for using it against intruders is illegal (if you end up using it). You can only legally use whatever is 'at hand' in the heat of the moment

>>73072907
>not watching porn exclusively in incognito mode

wew

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recently come to the conclusion that i'll probably be alone my entire life. i've tried all the normal methods of improving my appeal to women but nothing has worked so far. i guess i have something innate that repulses women. probably cant change that shit.

resigning myself to my lonesome fate is no doubt a healthier way of being depressed than constantly failing at trying to succeed in the most basic of ways that most humans can do effortlessly. my soul can only take so much of a battering. better to just cut my losses and give up.

at least i have /brit/ i suppose.

>>73073121
>proof
that's the key part of these reasonable force laws
you have to prove that you were using reasonable force

>>73073131
this is england though you get sent to jail for hurting people's feelings

>>73071437
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbfVd2bqFXg

>>73073131
Welcome to Great Shitain

>>73073119
sounds pretty fortunate

>>73073132
This cannot be true

>>73073132
>legal protections in place for burglars

can't make this up

>>73073132
I hope that's just bait, because this is one of the most retarded things I ever heard

>>73073149
that's why I wear a go pro that's recording at all times

>>73073154
>replying to a 1.5 hour old post
would tell you to kill youself but you'd fuck that up as well

>>73073132
I just happen to keep a baseball bat and straight razor in my room because thats just where I keep them

its not for burglars, its just where I keep them. not my fault it was "at hand"
not sure why you're being such a pro-burglar shill 2bh

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>>73073119

>>73073000
It's premeditated because you've stashed weapons for that purpose. If you use it in self defence, it's illegal.

>>73073132
they can't legally prove that though

what if you have katana club and you stash it under your bed cause it's an easy place to put it after practice

>>73073182
>gif
fuck off

>>73073132
hmm alright we do have the reasonable force laws too but this is too far
Who the hell came up with this?

>>73073187
>stashed weapons for that purpose.

good luck proving that, shill

>>73073166
there actually are

it's easier to be a burglar in this country than a law abiding citizen

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>>73071660
why are all of these about pleasing a ROASTIE? normeis piss me off so much.

in baltimore a lad killed a nigger who broke into his house

he sliced his hand off with a katana then delivered a finishing blow

>>73073221
haha what a boy

>>73073220
It was probably drawn by a woman

>>73073187
you're an actual retard 2bh

if a burglar tried to take you to court saying that the baseball bat you smashed his head in with was stashed in your bedroom for that purpose it would get thrown out of court in a second

>>73073221
>showing this much respect to a nigger

>>73073165
It unironically is completely true. Funny, right?

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This. So. Much

new money new hoes new shoes new clothes
my ex try to call me
girl I got a new phone

>>73073252
you got left confused with radical centrist

left would just be shouting nazi

>>73073180
I'm not remotely pro burglar. I'm pointing out how silly this law is, in my own conceited way.

>>73073221
>sliced off his hand
Was he Dutch?

>>73073276
you mean belgian

trying out this asmr business
don't really "get" it, but the girl is very pretty

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>>73073274

>>73073252
nobody on the left has a jawline that defined

Hotel, motel, holiday inn

thanks for not aborting me mum!

>>73073314
>>73073314
>>73073314
>>73073314

this scorching weather really makes you drink

>>73073241
It's still the law. And if you really did use a sword against a burglar, are you really confident you wouldn't end up in court? Especially if you cause the person grievous damage.