>Be Australian >need to have 12 bottles of anti-venom lying

>Be Brit
>can't even kill it with a knife without being arrested

stop bullying Australia they are good pls thank you

hope they didn't kill the poor fella just defending his shoe

Sydney cucks will defend this

>>71647972
>Be Sudanese
>Too poor for antivenom
>Die of starvation before the spider's venom is able to fry your nerves

>>71647919
>all the legs and everything crawled around my finger and I couldn't get it off
fug

>>71648049
>Be Dutch
>inject yourself with the venom to get high after maxing out your cocaine tolerance

>>71647919
When I was a kid and we were putting new wiring around the house, my old man made make my brother and myself get under the house and set up all the cables, as well as the wiring in the roof. The cunt was too cheap to pay an actual electrician to do it and when I complained about red backs he told me to stop being stupid.
What a cock. Also, fuck spiders. I'd suggest nuking the bastards but that'd only make them bigger.

>>71647972
>Be British
>Dont have to kill any spiders with a knife because we have no life threatening spiders

>Be britshit
>Fail basic English comprehension
Anyways yes it's surprising the hospital had the 12 vials lying around, not so much that he needed them. Regional hospitals here only have enough for early emergency treatment and life support if that, and they rely on fast evacuation to a city hospital (which may or may not have antivenom themselves) or being able to borrow other hospitals, clinics' & vets' antivenene

>>71648131
Okay I am sorry. Yet again I was trying to garner Australian replies by leaping to their defense

>>71648131
Do you get any huntsmen spiders in the UK? Hate those big hairy pricks.

>>71648186
They're fun to tickle

>>71648227
I have one that collects the dustbunnies in my apartment with his legs

>>71648160
That may work with some other countries but Australians aren't really keen on anything that seems like an outsider sucking up. Too used to being told to fuck off.
They'll probably just ignore you.

>>71648075

Kek

>>71648286
Every hole's a goal mate

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>>71648186
No, theres been a few incidents of them been transported here but they never survive very long. The scariest we have are wolf spiders, which cause swelling and itching but unless allergic, are never fatal or move past being a bit of a nasty nip

>pic related

>>71648160
And its okay my Sudanese friend, its all banter here. Apart from insults towards Canadians, we mean them

>>71648227
You're sick, mate.
In all seriousness they move way to fast. From zero to holy fuck in one missed shoe squash attempt.

>>71648283
Okay thanks for that tip, albeit 5 years late. I always knew you were too reserved and despondent for a reason, even the Americans, Canadians, Brits and a brilliant New Zealander penpal I had here were too affable compared to you

>>71648324
Thanks again, for going the extra mile

>>71648324
We need spoilers on /int/.

Honestly I'm a lot less concerned about spiders when I'm naked. Had a shower spider for a long time, never worried because when you're naked it's not like the spider can get stuck in your clothes.

That's why you check your shoes before you stick them on every time. Fuckers love shoes since they're dark and damp places to hide.

>>71647972
fpbp

>>71648389
>spider wont attack you in the shower
Are you seriously that ugly?

>>71648456
I apologize for this, but had I included it in the post it would have lost most of its quality

>>71648389
I had a resident spider in my back garden for years. ive never seen a spider as big as that guy before or since, He was as big as my palm and a friendly guy.
He would routinely take down wasps and flies.

he was a bro


>>71648345
no worries!

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>>71648227
>tickling a spider

>>71648517
Their hairs are suprisingly taut, not like regular human hair

Its honestly like rubbing freshly shaved pubes

>>71648545
hot

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>>71648517
>yamero~

>that feel when you would piss on the same black widow in your backyard every morning for a while

>>71648592
Did it eventually die of diabetes?

>>71648636
maybe

>sydney

lololololololol

>>71647919
>Mathew
hmmm

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>>71648636

>>71648592
lel

>>71648019
>>71648686
Hey just popping in to remind youse that Sydney is the crown jewel of Australia
>financial centre
>cultural centre
>tourism centre

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>>71648636
>Sunanese bants

>>71647972
>killing spiders with knives

Are you total pussies?

>>71648770
No we don't dissect weird insects with cutlery and call it cuisine

>>71648799
You should try.

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>>71648724
you're about 1/3 of those you nonce

soon melbourne will overtake you as the premier city of australia

>>71648809
Honestly I just want a steaming hot baguette and the thickest cream cheese every morning, with my tea, life would improve 10-fold

>>71648859
>a steaming hot baguette

HNGGGGGGGGGGR, ARE YOU A GRILL?

>>71648724
t. Zhang Dong

>>71648850
t. Ling Xiao

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>>71648799
fuckin hell sudan bringing some uproarious ridicule today

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>>71648884
t. I call everyone a chink name when I get jealous because I have no other constructive comeback

>>71648636
Include me in the screencap please anons! i want to be on r/all

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>>71648875
Save me from Islam my valiant knight!

>>71648884
Kevin, mate. Kevin Dong.

>>71648003
nah, they transported him to a zoo or something

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>>71648724

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>>71648966
y-yes, ma'am

>>71648636
damn Sudan is on fire

>>71648933
>Jealous of unaffordable houses, Chinese immigrants, purple haired SJWs and hipster fuckwits
Truly lelbourne is the jewel of the country

>>71648075
top kek

>>71649082
>believing memes on a filipino basket weaving forum

good going mate maybe those $20 beers got to your head a bit there

>>71648585
>yametekure!!!!

>>71649061
>>71648636
>on fire
litterally

>>71648768
>BBC BASED ANON

>>71648075
keke, this is why i love int

>>71648003
this
spider dindu nuffin
spiders are good lads

>>71649329
free ma boy

>>71648324
Wolf spiders are great, one of the best and nicest spiders. They will not hurt you at all, they will defend your house.

>>71647919
Also, this is why most Australians I know pefer urban centres over living in the country, where all this shit happens. I live in Melbourne, and Ive never seen the bush. Ive only seen an abo and a kangaroo maybe once in my life. The Bush is dangerous if you dont have local knowledge of the area, like which spiders/Snakes/Drop bears are common in a given area.

>>71649426
huntsmen do this too, just keep them outside your house

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>>71648636

Top kek

Excellent bantz

>>71647972
>>71648075
>>71648456
>>71648636
>>71648799
>>71648859
>>71648966
Top kek
Based af

>>71649061
tell the american to piss on him to douse the flames

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>Have to enter house via side gate because my sister is triggered by the noise of the front door
>There are 3 or more large (hunstman size) hairy black spiders that like to spin webs at head height at night and hang around the side gate after dark
>The light has stopped working
Coming home every night is a run through the gauntlet

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>>71648966
reminds me of this

>>71649449
There are different kinds of drop bears?

>>71647919
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
still want to move there though

>>71650762
The smaller varieties in the south will only take a limb or two. The bigger ones most common in Queensland have been known to take down groups of backpackers at once

>>71650285
what did he mean by this?

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>>71647919
>A giant spider wraps around your hand and does not get off whatever you do

>>71648003
>The spider was caught and taken to the Australian Reptile Park, where it will be milked as part of their program to develop anti-venom.

>>71649426
t. spider

SPIDERS FUCK OFF

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>>71650824
How do the locals deal with them? Do they just avoid wandering into their territory? And incase you happen to see one before it attacks you, is there something you can do to defend yourself? Does vegemite behind your ears really work or is it a hoax?

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>>71648003
>>71649329
>>71649376
I wonder who could be behind those posts.

>>71651352
>How do the locals deal with them? Do they just avoid wandering into their territory?
Yeah more or less like crocs, don't get in their way and they wont hurt you

And incase you happen to see one before it attacks you, is there something you can do to defend yourself?
Slowly back away and pray they don't notice you, or play dead until it goes away are the best options
>Does vegemite behind your ears really work or is it a hoax?
It's a hoax to get dumb europeon backpackers killed ;^)

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>>71651445
Thanks mate. If things don't work out here, then I'll just get a heli license and try to get a job as as a mustering pilot in the Northern Territories. It's my dream job.

>>71648131
neither knives

>>71648884
张东
玲晓

>>71649329
Spiders are bro tier

>>71647919
holy fucking shit, is this really common in australia

i mean just look at the spider in the pic. thats not even a bug thats a monster

>>71653919
>is this really common in australia
no, just Sydney

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>>71647972
>>71648075
>>71648456
>>71648636
>>71648799

>>71654198
wew lad

how can people unironically live there and sleep at night?

>>71655081
It's easy to sleep at night when you don't spend all day napping.

>>71655121
kek'd

don't think anyone's died from a spider bite in fucking years

>>71655121
lol

>>71655387
Some dumb cunt died last year from one but before that no deaths since the 70's.

>>71648636
Unexpected.

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>tfw no dangerous spiders and no deadly snakes unless you're allergic in my country

>>71657392
And bears and wolves just avoid people so unless you literally run between a bear and her cubs you've got nothing to worry.

Aussies told me that if a room is quiet enough you can hear the footsteps of spiders