/brit/

magic 8 ball do I get drunk?

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first for dead brits

first for idk

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ah yes, another friday night well spent

going to bed now, have to get up early to return some video tapes and drop off some film to be developed

night

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feel like utter shite lads

hello everyone

as you know ive been posting in the last thread

just thought id let you know that as its 4 in the morning ive elected to go to bed

ill be back tomorrow at around the same time as usual, hope to catch up on the jokes then

catch you on the flipside, homeboys!

your friend,

[Index] [Catalog] [Bottom]

>>71302533
>return some video tapes
i didn't know video rentals still existed

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another one from the gf haha

>>71302562
she looks like she has a warm mouth

>>71302533
alri bateman

*Wallops a dark-skinned chap*

Waheyy

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Do it again, Bomber Harris

Guess I will neet out this year pretending to prepare for IES

>>71302660
goodnight mate

madly in love with evangeline lilly

why do we pretend that we like bongs and post in their general again?

Going to bed lads, someone tuck me in? :3

what happened to madfist or the gun?

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>why do we pretend that we like bongs and post in their general again?

>>71302880
aussies are too retarded to keep /aus/ alive

>>71302925
there has literally never been an /aus/

>>71302887
*kisses you on the tummy, pulls on your spiderman jimjams, tucks you in nice and tight, ruffles your hair, turns on your nightlight, leaves the door open just a crack*

sweet dreams my little prince :3

>>71302969
exactly

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met the oneitis's boyfriend

he's a really nice bloke

>>71302880
aha alri turtlemong post your turtleneck

>>71303010
post her

I'm actually gay.

>>71302979
genuinely enjoyed this post, dont tell the gf x

>>71303010
post him

*stops breathing*

>>71303028
>>71303010
also how tall are you and the bf?

feeling quite homosexual today xxxx

>>71303066
me 6'1, him about 5'9

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>>71303028

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The guy in the pictureis a regular poster here

>>71303084
haha

LANKLETTS BTFO

>>71303084
>getting btfo by a manlet

for shame

>>71302990
you can't keep something alive which has never existed

>>71303088
>generic slag #4632

aah yes

Fuck leftists

>>71303071
want me to fuck your arse for you lad?

x

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>>71303054
hmm

>>71303010
that's nice to hear, you must be happy for her

>>71303090
looks like a wanker

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>Fuck leftists

>>71303090
Looks about right

36


ah yes

the australian intellectuals

>>71303120
wrong

cannot fathom the amount of sheer runtery in this thread

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Yeeeaahh

>>71303084
why didn't you just heem him?

>>71303162
Is that jam in the clear tub? Looks nice.

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alright lads
so the NHS isn't looking too good at the moment
how do we fix it?
the fix can't just be throwing money at it

literally cannot get off to anything other than ballbusting jav these days

business idea: throw money at the nhs

>>71303201
lob money at it

>>71303201
privatise it

>>71303201
chuck money at it

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>>71303201
privatise it mate

>>71303201
bowl money towards it

>>71303201
only passport holders can access treatment

smokers, fatties, druggies and alchies pay for all treatment

>>71303201
fire all of the middle and upper management

>>71303201
stick a plaster on it

>>71303201
get are jez or chukka as PM

>>71303201
abolish it and use the money to restore the empire I say

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W E W
E
W

https://twitter.com/AP/status/832608704855937024

Thinking maybe salmon for dinner later

What sides should I make?

>>71303256
smokers pay for themselves
and the others would too if you taxed those items more

>>71303279
does this count the sanctuary cities

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>>71303218

>>71303303
left and right

>>71303279
>all those bleeding hearts
what part of "ILLEGAL" are they having problems comprehending?

>>71303279
how else are you meant to kick out millions of criminals?

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>>71303232
>>71303250
Funny thing is you two physically unfit runts will miss it the most when its gone.

>>71303279
Ah yes, fascism

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>you can't just sit around doing nothing for the rest of your life

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>>71303136
really gets the ol neurons firing

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>tfw you're unintentionally rude to someone and it haunts you for the rest of the day

why was I born such a sensitive little flower

>>71303367
I earn a six figure salary. I'll be okay while you entitled fuckers will finally have to work hard to get what you deserve.

>>71303279
MUZZIES BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

HEIL TRUMP

>>71303444
t. roleplaying

>>71303279
Hillary is exactly the same as Trump

All threads are dead except for /brit/ bravo lads...

>>71303010
Just go and tell her with laughter mixed

>Trump kicking ILLEGAL immigrants out of America

wow is this even legal????!?

>>71303569
immigration is 9/10's of the law

nobody is illegal

>punishing lawbreakers
UMMM I don't think you can DO that???

>you have to pay £10 extra to drive a car made before 2006 into central London

how will ortherners ever recover

feels just like 1930s Germany lads
getting very frightened

>>71303569
>>71303616
Greater London

>>71303648
>tfw 07 plate
phew

>>71303608
your entire existence depends on people who think otherwise.

Is fancy penmanship the fedora of the hand?

doing a phone post

>enforcing the law which is an agreed upon social contract

fucking fascists

>>71303090
what a hideous tie

the law? racist!

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>social contract

>>71303826
>gif
fuck off

hands are incredibly itchy

you know what they say about itchy hands

hand crabs

>stab some random in the street
>actually get arrested it for
WTF uhhh fascist much?

>>71303907
fairly certain most vegetarians dont eat meat for environmental reasons, not health reasons.

>>71303065
*comes to your aid*

Posting from beyond the grave! Lol actually just from bed. I'm under attack by a lone mosquito. Advice? It keeps buzzing and I don't enjoy that, and it might bite & kill me. Not well versed in anti mozzie warfare. Can I swat it? Is its blood poisonous

considering going to the loo and doing a so-called poo

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>too smart to drink pop

>>71302466
comment pls

>Labour threw open Britain's borders to mass immigration to help socially engineer a "truly multicultural" country, a former Government adviser has revealed.

Laws are a social construct

Help meeeeee

>>71304051
>pop

just filtered NZ

Ive got malaria a bg nnjno

>>71304068
we already knew this

at least now they admit it

>>71304051
smart water is coca cola cancer and it always has a dent in its side

>>71304141
*squeezes your leg*

>>71304068
correct

>>70386821
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Roche

>>71304213
*cums*
don't touch it! You'll get aids

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Roche

>In February 2016, a biography of Tony Blair, Broken Vows: Tony Blair -- The Tragedy of Power (serialized in the Daily Mail), by British author Tom Bower, described Roche's alleged part in the deliberate encouragement of mass immigration into the UK during Blair's time as Prime Minister of the UK.[7]

>The Daily Mail, in its serialization, commented thus on the book: "The most incredible revelations concern Barbara Roche, a little-known MP who was immigration minister between 1999 and 2001. During this period, she quietly adopted policies – with Mr Blair’s approval – that changed the face of the UK." and "She changed the rules to allow more work permits to be issued, especially to people who would previously have been considered asylum seekers. Stephen Boys Smith, who was then head of the Home Office’s immigration directorate, said: ‘It was clear that Roche wanted more immigrants to come to Britain. She didn’t see her job as controlling entry into Britain, but by looking at the wider picture in a “holistic way” she wanted us to see the benefit of a multicultural society.’"

...

>The daughter of Barnet and Hanna Margolis[3] she was educated at the Jews Free School, Camden Town and Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford where she read Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE).

>>71304179
indeed it does
you toff

>>71303279
>trump does exactly what he said he would do while campaigned
>everyone keeps losing their minds
absolute state of leftists

>>71303907
I've got to admit, most vegans I've met are health freaks in every other aspects as well.

It's almost like they're so afraid of death they're not willing to have any fun at all.

Then you have the subsection (intersectional, you can call it) who go on about MUH HAYLTH! and do 16 drugs a day and are hungover every other day.

>>71304068
>be labour
>struggle to get votes outside traditional working class strongholds
>only get in with blair becuase blair was charismatic, they shifted to the right and THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER
>hatch a plan to bring in fuckloads of migrants aka potential labour voters
>what it actually did was alienate the aformentioned working class white labour strongholds and turn them tory, uk elections are now just 'torieswinlol'

>>71304068
that was basically confirmed. Peter Hitchens always brings it up

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>>71304278
>>hatch a plan to bring in fuckloads of migrants aka potential labour voters

That´s a pretty shit way to experiment with your own poeple.
Where are the good old times?

What do we think of ceilings? Ehhh, lukewarm. Not too spicy.

What do we think of ceilings with glow in the dark stars and planets blu tacked on? Oh, love em! Just love em! Mega spicy!!

fellow posters

explain to me why you're not currently helping in the great expedition to /balt/

we need to rebuild the empire and it starts here!

Fuckimg hell the mozzie cunt is buzzing around
Buzz off pipsqueak

>>71304404
Full of rude autistic baltic rorke mongs

covered in bed sores

choon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnOuPfWDuYs

>>71304404
went onto /balt/ and they told me to leave because i was foreign
wouldn't mind but the amount of balts that move to ireland

Going to dildo my arse when my mum leaves for work

>>71303444
t.roleplayer

>>71304526
>replying to a 30 minute old post
kys

Going to leave work when my mum dildos for arse

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Its never a dull day in yankland.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/17/trump-immigration-roundup-national-guard

>>71304404
Been on there since it got linked, bit grim of a general desu.

>>71304522
bit gay

Is there anything more satisfying than blasting skidmarks off the toilet bowl with a stream of hot piss?

>>71304568
so trump is actually considering enforcing the law? what a disgusting fascist!

desu I think if I was actually on six figures I would be a very nice person

can't believe what a cunt you'd have to be to have such a nice life and still be a hateful little rat

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>>71304568
Looking forward to this "so called" race war.

Shall not be participating though GCHQ.

>>71304605
dont care

>>71304568
brit news media is unironically the worst when it comes to trump

>>71304556
spacker

>>71304640
neither do I

>>71304600

Theres a little difference between deporting illegals and deploying 100,000 of your own troops in your own country.

Business idea: start a cotton plantation and hire black people to work for nothing

>>71304583
fuggin depressing isnt it

>>71304676
well the methods of enforcing immigration law have clearly failed so what other options are there?

2016 was the best year of the 21st century so far

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What are you smoking /int/?

I'm smoking amphora mellow. I've coated the bowl in a thin layer of golden syrup since it's a new pipe. That will help it develop a carbon layer.

>>71304676
they are national guard

they don't get deployed anywhere else, its not like he has enacted martial law

bored as shit

I'm really a girl and if I don't get my titty pills I'll kill myself :^)

any questions

yeah obviously deporting illegal immigrants is technically okay but don't HIRE PEOPLE TO DO IT YOU HITLER

>>71304715
stop smoking la

>>71304714
2007 was pretty good
09 and 11 were alri too

>>71304732
Post bum

>>71304695
looks like a big gurl

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>What are you smoking /int/?

>I'm smoking amphora mellow. I've coated the bowl in a thin layer of golden syrup since it's a new pipe. That will help it develop a carbon layer.

>>71304732
what

come on barbie lets go party

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I'm drunk
My vision is like this

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the gf

ah ah ah yeah

if i owned a dog i'd call it mcnuggets

>>71304404
Colonisation is successful.

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the gf

>>71304791
im seeing double

4 steven buscemis!

>>71304748
I only smoke a few times a week.

I used to vape, and that was legitimately addictive (6mg).

Even daily pipe smoking doesn't impart enough nicotine to get you addicted if it's only once a day.

You have to smoke several times daily to get addicted, and pipe smoking isn't something I do multiple times a day.

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set me freeEEEEEE
from my JEALOUSY
WON'T YOU EXORCISE MY MIND
WON'T YOU EXORCISE MY MIND
I want to be freeeeee
AS I'LL EEEEEEVER BEEEE
EXORCISE MY MIND
HELP ME EXORCISE MY MIND

>>71304797
>>71304797
noice

>>71304860
still carcinogenic

>>71302354

We're literally all in /balt/

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bunce

how do stingrays even get you with their tail

do they swim backwards super fast?
some sort of whipping motion?
jet propulsion

it seems taking a sting through the chest cavity would actually be pretty difficult to do

how is nioh not outright plagiarism

*bombs civilians*

>>71304937
Hooting @ this

dont even get how you can be not depressed unless you are in the top 99% of looks or intelligence

>>71304883
True, I won't deny that.

I just find it too enjoyable and intriguing not to stop.

As far as it being carcinogenic, you don't inhale the smoke. The smoke makes contact with your mouth, esophagus (back of throat), and as you smoke you inhale the air around you, which is 2nd hand smoke.

Not the healthiest thing to take delight in, but I understand that.

I would definitely class it as far less damaging to health than cigarettes or binge drinking. Then again, 99% of things are healthier than cigarettes and vodkaing your liver.

>>71305019
post fucking machines

Gf just said she loves me

Need advice lads. When talking to girls online, should I just give up if she never initiates a convo?

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Might go and get a couple of cheeky goats cheese and pesto focaccias from Lidl

>>71304988
neither big nor clever

shan't be returning a single one of your compact disks

>>71305172
>disk

FOY

>>71305125
I never initiate the convo with women
this girl I text every day, texts me first every single time

>>71305089
>you don't inhale the smoke
oh so you only get tongue, throat and mouth cancer thank goodness

the things don't even have the huge filters on like cigarettes, so i'd bet on it being even worse for your health

>>71304715
isnt this that fake shit tobacco that kills people

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mum bought me a saussie roll from gregs. top notch xx

>>71305232
From Greggs?

>>71305183
Figures, I messaged this girl for a few days then stopped since I didn't want to be an annoying cunt.

wish i had some friends

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>>71304988

*enters thread*
*obnoxious royalty-free youtube stock music starts playing*

wish we had a clingy australian dickhead

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>A candidate in the Stoke byelection has been arrested on suspicion of stirring up racial hatred.

>Barbara Fielding, 78, who is standing as an independent, was arrested after a complaint about her website, which calls for all immigrants to be repatriated and warns of a “seeping tide of Islamic warriors”. Police seized her mobile phone and computer and later released her on bail until next month.

>>71305337
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKfS5zVfGBc

choon

what's the easiest way to dispose of something without trace?

>>71305345
You don't have to agree with the law but you do have to follow it

What did she think would happen? People need to learn to hide their power levels better

>>71305363
burn it

>>71305345
can't tell if britain has always been shit or I'm just realising it more as I grow up

even if I don't agree with her view, arresting her and taking her shit for expressing it is just abhorrent

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thoughts

I'm not really who you think I am...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect

>>71305391
burning car might attract attention

>>71305232
sometimes greggs sausage rolls give off a farm smell/taste when im eating them and its awful.
i haven't been able to decently explain it to anyone and it just looks like im throwing away a perfectly good sausage roll, but to me it tastes like actual manure

>>71305400
Bet you would feel differently if you were a British muslim who she was stirring up hatred towards

>>71305428
fuck off phone poster

>>71305433
drive to Liverpool then burn it

back lads

did my 1000 words on time in case you were worried

>>71305416
my estate would be bigger if I had his dosh

would probably buy an island and roleplay as a quasi-warlord

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emperor burger

>>71305463
fuck it, that's not worth going to liverpool

>>71305439
Hmmm iktf, sometimes milk also tastes that way for me

>>71305439
its psychological

>>71305449
>Bet you would feel differently if you were a British muslim
irrelevant because that doesn't exist

>>71305343
ruude

>>71305449
maybe, but you see this kind of thing so often, people getting arrested for simply saying a mean thing on twitter

maybe this particular instance is different since she is a candidate for public office but it shouldn't really be happening

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So my buddy works construction and he told me yesterday none of the hispanics showed up for work so they hired a whole new crew by lunch.

Saw this on Facebook this morning lol
Maybe the new guys even speak english

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>>71305475
he has a very small, modest house relative to his wealth 2bh

looks comfy and well designed thought, probably hiding a lot underground too

evens I wank
odds I don't wank
0 I neck myself

just got my passport and it looks like it's been put together by a 5 year old Vietnamese kid with tongs for fingers

>>71305518
is this a trick
>everyone who takes the day off is getting deported

from liverpool ama

got a big houseparty tonight
finding it a tricky balance between cleaning the house to maintain dignity in front of guests, and looking like a beta bitch to my housemates

>>71305584
why

been invited out for cocktails and other drinks at a friends gaff tonight

might just stay in and drink alone though

>>71305588
Put a nice little apron on x

>>71305549
Enjoy getting deported to Bulgaria when they think it's fake

>>71305549
>by a 5 year old Vietnamese kid

oi

none of that lad

>>71305584
u irish?

>>71305518
>children don't go to school
>businesses doesn't open up
>people don't go to work
>feds can now just phone up schools and offices to see who didn't turn up and put them on a list for possibly being illegal
genius

>>71305556
hopefully

I just thought it was funny that they were arrogant enough to consider themselves irreplaceable but were all replaced by noon.

>>71305638
actually fucking scared by this

>>71305640
greater london

Just put a passport together lads

>>71305615
was birthed here

>>71305643
my nan (one of) had an irish maiden name but she wasn't even irish, so no. mostly english with a spot of welsh

>>71305697
alri mohammed

I go absolutely mental for shy girls

unfortunately they're rare as diamonds when you get to my age

>>71305665
love those teachers saying its the most orderly and pleasant their classes have been in years and their performances were at a record high

need a big lad to laugh at my small willy in front of a lot of girls

>>71305723
how old are you

>>71305631
the washing isn't even too bad
thing is we're 4 lads and the toilet is a shithole, and we have a lot of girls coming tonight cos it's one of theirs birthday

dont want to be known as a toilet cleaner tho hmmm

gattini

>>71305729
Can I get a link to that?

oim such a bastard

>>71305774
44

>>71305819
was just on /pol/ this morning

>>71305846
why are you still here

>>71305846
you can't be serious

>>71305819
found an article about it

http://ktla.com/2017/02/16/jurupa-valley-school-district-investigating-teachers-who-disparaged-students-participating-in-day-without-immigrants-on-social-media/

>>71305863
>>71305871
leave me alone roooo

singles and I get drunk

>>71305852
Ah yes, definitely happened then

>>71305846
how old are your kids

>>71305903
Tell me your secrets, oh great wizard

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>>71305927
>

>>71305924
cor blimey

>>71303666
>>71303666
>>71303666

pls AWOOOO this post lads cheers x

Wouldn't mind a paypig or two

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makes me think

>30 seconds of silence at the end of a song

ah yes, i love having to tab out and sort through 40 tabs just to skip your modern art piece.

"""artists"""" who do this should be shot.

>>71305925
>>71305901
suck a dick

>>71305643
No, I'm Australian.

>>71305846
have you been on the internet most of your life

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the gf

been wearing this jumper all day
bit sweaty

>>71306086
'nce

FRANKLY MR. SHANKLY SINCE YOU ASKED

YOU ARE A FLATULENT PAIN IN THE ARSE

>>71306007
stop listening to music on YouTube then you fucking runt

>>71306051
why aren't you sleeping yet mate

funny how black people used to make music that wasn't just about murder, guns and money

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tgYr03o3dE

>>71306007
>having 40 tabs open

>>71305759
cant see how that would be pleasurable haha

business idea: go to burgerking and ask for a big mac

>>71306132
>youtube is the only music player with a "skip song" feature

fucking mong.

>>71306161
FONT

>>71306126
>arse
FOY

>>71306007
>>71306161
the frugal tab crew run this joint

>using tabbed browsing

hello casual

>>71306144
that trend started because of the crack epedemic

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>funny how black people used to make music that wasn't just about murder, guns and money

>>71306209
I wasn't aware of any other music player that you need to go through tabs on your browser to sort out.

business idea: walk through the drive thru

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>>71306196

>>71306117
COR
FUCKING
BLIIIIIMMMMEEEEEEEYYYYYY

my muslim friend from qatar tells me black people are better with music/rhythm and shit because they are all attached to these islamic demons called djins

>>71306286
>>71306286
>>71306286
>>71306286

marinating some chicken for my dinner tonight

>>71306279
>>71306279
>>71306279

NEW NEW NEW FRIENDSHIP EDITION

>>71306144
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaE7C-hf6Wg

>>71303608
objectively incorrect

>>71306303
janny wont be pleased
>>71306325
janny REALLY wont be pleased

third new
>>71306314
>>71306314
>>71306314
>>71306314
>>71306314