I have an Australian professor at uni, and he literally banters

>>70328196
Pull down ya pants bend over and yell "why don't ya slip it in, cobber?!"

Its fucking hilarious, me and me mates do it all the fucking time, cunt.

Break into his house at night then sneak into his room and yell "am i late now???"

>>70328196
be an hero, is easy in your country, you can buy a gun in vending machines

It's super embarrassing guys. All he does is banter. He does this to everyone. He says students have been offended by his banter, and he just says that's just how he was raised. Everyone in Australia just banters each other constantly. "If you can't take it, drop out" ,he always says.

>>70329180
Just say "Sorry for being late, I was with prof's mom"

>>70329219
I will use this. And probably say vegemite is gross or something.

You must get physical. Banter is for the weak. A punch to the face will shut it up for good

>>70329253
But I don't want to get kicked out of uni...

>>70328196
>If I'm one minute late, he shuts the door on me, opens it a minute later, and pulls me to the front of the room and makes me say "sorry class for being late"
That doesn't sound like banter, he's just doing what teachers do.

>>70329279
It's not what about you want. It's about what must be done.

Damn man just throw some shit about his wife holding you up or something. If you're this worried about some dude joking about being late then you're gonna have a hell of a time if you ever end up in some real shit.

>>70329253
Typical clapistan kneejerk reaction right here.

>>70329286
Teachers at uni don't normally give a shit if you come late though

>>70329286
No, it's very banter like. I will be feet from the door and he will close it, look at me through this long rectangular window, laugh at me, make jokes to the class about me, then let me in while the whole class is laughing.

>>70329308
*shoves you to the ground*

Stay out of this.

>>70329300
He isn't married or have a gf

daily reminder my Bulgarian teacher in primary school literally launched a student out of the window when we planted a woopee cushion on his chair

>>70329383
Sounds like the student was the oneto go"woopee"

There are few ways that work in USA anon:
- be a tranny;
- be gay/lesbian;
- be brown, muslim, unidentified race;
- be a genderfluid dragonkin;
- be black and yell "muh slavery";
- enlist into the army, serve for 2-3 years, get wounded, go back to his lectures and yell that you're a "wounded warrior";
- dress up in US flags and when he grabs you yell that he's disrespecting the flag, start clapping and singing the anthem of USA.

All of the above should work.

>>70329451
Um, no that will not work...

But you could teach me how to make Szaszłyk

>>70329219
just a heads up, australians drop the mom jokes at about 15-16 years old. After that it's incredibly lame to use them.

>>70329496
Easy, take lamb or beef, slice it into ~ 5cm squares, put it on a skewer, than add paprika, mushrooms, onion, bacon, than meat, paprika, shrooms etc. again.

Put it on a well lit up grill or over a camp fire and wait till it's all done.

There.

P.S: Remember to marinate the meat few hours before making szaszłyki.

>>70329565
Teachers at uni also drop the "close the door on late students" act. I think this prof is an exception to good bantz so mom jokes should be ok.

>>70329383
Yeah, it's fun breaking teachers. Had one throw a kid against a locker and punch him in the face, didn't even get fired.

>>70329624
Wow thank you! Didn't expect you to deliver. Appreciated!

>"you're late student!!!"
>"not as late as your daughters period after my visit"

there

a perfect come back

Bring a gun to his class. Show him how we really banter in the U S of A.

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>>70329715
>this is what passes as a comeback outside of australia

>>70329698
I wish more girls would appreciate that, I didn't have many gfs in my life.

>>70329326
*teleports behind back
*taps shoulder
Take it easy, kid. No need to be so angry all the time.

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>>70328196
I was friends with an Australian long ago. Fat and tall with curly hair, lives in NSW now.
I used to honk at him driving on my way to work and he would pull down his pants and spread his ass for everyone on the street. Gavin McInnes style

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>>70329886
>mfw mooning has been made a criminal offence as of 2016 in melbourne

>>70329644
Anglo schoolbuildings don't have doorpumps???

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>>70329789
Don't worry pol bro, I hope your szaszłyk and kotlet will impress many polish girls.

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>>70329715

>>70328196
that's not really a banter, that's just being a dick. just ignore it, bantering him will get you reported to the administration and fuck up your education history.

>>70329935
We do have them; what do you mean?

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>>70329953
I wish, I got so much to give(cooking, great at sex, educated, 7,5/10 handsome) but women are whores and life hurt so much ameribro. I will forever be the scarred after a relationship guy.

No one is getting my szaszłyk ever again.

>>70329300
He can't counter back the guy is s prof and has authority in that setting.

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>>70330034
I can relate to being scarred by terrible women. You deserve someone that loves you.

I wish the best for you.

>>70329040
fucking laughed out loud

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>>70330120
Now I just want to get drunk.

Best of luck to you as well amerifriend.

>>70329040
perfect

>>70329715
If i wanted my comeback, i'd get it off ya mothers chin.

>>70329921
What's next?
Pointing at someone.

>>70329565
That's what we do. Stop copying us: find your own gimmicks.

>>70328196
do it in american way
unsheathe yer gun and point at him

>>70334754
people unironically now use the words like "lad" and "bird" (as in girl) and claim them as australianisms

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>be Australian
>put butter and sprinkles on white bread and give it to children as a homecooked meal
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread

>>70328196
keep reminding him his ancestors were filthy criminals and that's funny to see him being a rule freak.

>>70335211
german food is garbage. our cuisine is just british cuisine i.e. fish and chips, english breakfast, tea etc. FAR better than A FUCKING SCHNITZEL

>>70335441
>our cuisine is just british cuisine
Ew.

>>70328196

Tell him to fuck off because you pay his salary.

"Had to go see the head as I was confused why we are importing criminals to act as lecturers"

>>70328196
>>70329319

this never happened fuck off yank

>>70329715
horrendous

Lol why has no one said the obvious one yet

OP get to class on time and avoid the issue all together, and maybe see what more socially skilled people do in that situation

all the aussies i've met were tennis instructors; all mad as fucking hell

>>70328196
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TsNL3uBw1g
Australians aren't very good at doing grown up people things.