/brit/

what should I get from the chipmongers tonight lads?

Dear Yanks

http://www.strawpoll.me/11602331
http://www.strawpoll.me/11602331
http://www.strawpoll.me/11602331

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/balt/

>>67144433
deep fried pizza and chips

>>67144433
spam fritter

>>67144440
stop with your shitty polls you stupid cunt

>>67144433
can of lilt

>>67144433
a large portion of chips with sauce and i'll also have 2 frittes and a deep fried half pizza and a diet coke xx

>Scottish parliament to intervene in article 50 case, says Sturgeon

ah yes it is all slowly being undone

>>67144433
frikandel speciaal, bamibal, patatje oorlog

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hmm

>>67144534
this is my first one

https://youtu.be/9itWsqzFMVo

Reading Economics in One Lesson lads, very interesting

>>67144433
cod saveloy and chips

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>>67144588
>>67144610

eating an apple lads

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/s-murder-suspect-written-amazon-product-reviews-article-1.2862585

good banter

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>tfw using machine learning in haskell

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>>67144587
What would the parent's motive be to kill her?

shitposting on reddit is more fun than shitposting here

>>67144587
interesting

Who /ExtraMatureCheddar/ here?

>>67144665
I prefer /brit/, it's a lot more welcoming.

I love the diversity and inclusion on here.

don't close your eyes
something beautiful is still alive

>>67144658
they probably tried to let some guy rape her and she struggled and he hit her so hard she died

finished my apple lads

>>67144426
Dutchcaralad, this OP is, a foreigner.

going to watch The Thin Red Line (Malick, 1998) again lads

>>67144534
Talking politics with my sister

She voted remain and now says she would vote Brexit given the choice.

>>67144687
Cracker barrel cheese for life

>>67144569
you havin' a stroke there, mate?

>>67144754
Never browsed reddit desu, I'm just talking out my arse.

>>67144704
have a feeling thats the case a lot of times

>>67144410
So how long have you been perusing us? Reddit assumably?
What were you looking for?
Did you find it?

I don't know why people complain about jet lag
I've been sleeping on EST for ages now and I'm fine

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wats ur favourit disney film lads

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>>67144776
no

lads i keep getting passed cards at work to write in for people's birthdays. bit stuck for what to put in this latest one, any ideas?

>>67144665

Reddit's view of a 'Shitpost' is really bizzare desu. it amounts to "post i did not like very much". VERY strange place r/4chan is a Bizzaro 4chan

>>67144881
bit cold out

>>67144881
"Have a good one! [Name]"
Then find a name already there, of the opposite sex to the card's recipient, and draw a bunch of hearts and kisses around it hehe

>>67144876
tasty but, hearburn all that mayo. Baking soda ftw

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>>67144953

>>67144815
You're one of us, Irish, frogs, Krauts even Statians all lads. This guy is experimenting.

>>67144725
no she didn't

have a suspicion my mom voted for hillary

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>about to quit game
>it crashes

>>67145059
funny how /pol/ thinks this ever works

>>67145070
Did you vote?

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>>67144725
>Talking politics with my sister
>
>She voted remain and now says she would vote Brexit given the choice.

>>67145076
But it's real

>>67145070
Guess all you can do now is call her a bitch

>>67145079
i voted a week ago in early voting

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What's his name, /brit/?

>>67145076
you'd be surprised how stupid people can be, like when /g/ told normies they could use the microwave to charge their iphones and people believed it

>>67145111
How do you qualify for early voting? it's a foreign concept to me

>>67145125
Riley.

>>67145076
yeah, nobody would be stupid enough to put their iphone in a microwave to charge it

Hello lads, how are we all?

>>67145106
she has zero opinions or beliefs of her own. her pineal gland is literally calcified as fuck. we moved from a presbyterian church to a baptist one and then back, and she swapped from wanting gay marriage to thinking gays go to hell and back again. she started dating a fat redneck who loves trump so she was pro trump, but now she started working at a place with a bunch of women who are pro hillary so i think she's pro hillary now

>watch gorgeous woman get fucked
eh

>watch 5-minute downblouse of some girl talking about booking dinner
oh God yes

>>67145125
the man who walks towards you

>>67145194
>woman
>eh
>girl
>oh God yes
nonce

>>67145185
just goes to show that no matter your age, you can change xox

>>67145141
you live in a place that has early voting, and you go to the polling station. they ask you what's your name and address, and then you vote

>>67145125
big poppa k-dog

>>67145194
good lad

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>>67145216
Please no

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>>67145157

God rest his perfect soul

>>67144658
probably an accident which was their fault

remenber they left all 3 kids in while out for a meal/drink

could have fell in the pool and drowned

>watch gorgeous woman get fucked
eh
>still image of a slag showing flesh
oh God yes

>>67145137
/g/ never told anyone to microwave phones. /b you stupid cunt.
Go back to where you came from.

>>67144440

Gonna vote for Trump, but live in NY so my vote literally doesn't matter

>>67145361

>/b

This really bothers my autism. Say /b/ you fucking cunt

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>>67145361
does this look like /b/ to you

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Is Karl Pilkington a national treasure?

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Haven't wanked in 3 days lads

ARGH

>>67145415
>both white
disgusting

>>67145401
bloody abos

>>67145337
I miss the lad. He was a beast. There at the start of /int/ and /brit/ he gave us a good hiding every night.
He was a challenge. He is legendary.

>>67145157
>>67145337


God I miss him

>>67145428
pmsl

>>67145465
>start of /int/

wondering what you mean by this

>>67145428
no
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uswzriFIf_k#t=40

literally sounds nothing like it

>>67145407
>>67145419
Jimmies rustled?
/good

>>67145428

>buying a celebrity gold

Why do those retards keep doing this?

>someone I don't recognise is downstairs
>laughnig and joking with my mum
>he finally leaves
>I go down
>It was a plumber
>"What was so funny?"
>"Oh I asked him why he walked here, plumbers usually have vans, turns out he's banned for drink driving haha"

fucking scumbag
he could have killed someone
but he's fixing our boiler for free so apparently he's right
bit miffed at my mum

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want one of these

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copped this from he polish shop

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>>67145595

>>67145419
Why did you save this? Nothing funny about it.
Retards being gullible isn't funny sir.

>>67145582

hes probably ploughing your mother

>>67145595
bikinis only cost a fiver lad

>>67145558
I've paid for gold twice for posts that made me howl haha

>>67145624
Milka is always so expensive for shit chocolate

>>67145595
>mole
Disgusting.

Would not let her have sexual intercourse with me.

just got back from a job lads
this milf's been "servicing" me so I'd do her boiler for free haha

>>67145468
Kinda hope you're him so you know we remember you fondly.
But you're not.

>>67145595
pet yanks are illegal lad

they're humans apparently

Morning /brit/

Already sent off my vote a week back.

Hope my county goes red at least and weed is passed
t.Califag

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>>67145624
Dairy milk is better

>>67145649
all the evidence points to it

>>67145662
that was only 79p and is incredibly tasty so you're wrong

>>67145686

I would be his friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jiv-Fjm4C74

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who else /england/ here

>>67145040
put him out of business

>>67145739
>else
>flag
nah, not havin' it

>>67145723
It's supermarket own brand tier. Dairy Milk is objectively better.

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ahyes the polls

>Get a haircut
>Go into uni
>qt bursts out laughing when she sees me
Cheers luv. It's not like this is the same haircut I've had the entire time you've known me or anything.

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>>67145739
just so you know I've seen you post this loads of times but won't rise to the bait

>>67145735
godammit

this lad on my course just got a proper rare haircut lads haha looks like a duck's arse got caught in a propeller hahaha

>>67145797
literally nothing at all wrong with supermarket brand milk chocolate you utter mong

ah yes the poles

>>67145337
someone post the riley stricka children's hospital image for old times sake

>>67145848
Genuinely made me laugh lad, cheers.

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Voting trump

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overclocked the 'puter lads

new posts load 20% faster now

>>67145880
>not sweet and sour

£90 riding on the election boys

Trumps the value bet - he probably won't win but he's got a far higher chance than the bookies are giving him

>>67145872
I mean what had Brits flabbergasted was his uncanny semblance to Derren Brown.
That dusty jacket.

>>67145898
maximum shitposting

>>67145898
you just voided your warranty

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Why are these videos never brought up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uXJ1mgkyF0 [Embed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4wo9nqWrwE [Embed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0uCrA7ePno [Embed]

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>>67145854
>literally nothing at all wrong with supermarket brand milk chocolate

>>67145935
Violet?

>>67145880
dank mcnuggies my dude

https://is.4chan.org/wsg/1478602547990.webm

Fasting today lads

Was running a calorie deficit all of last week but had a fairly indulgent weekend and Monday while back home

Wonder how many cups of tea and cigarettes it'll take to kill the pangs

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>>67145624
get this one next time you won't regret it

>>67145974
Is it lent?

>>67145949
>>67145949
there isn't

plus its like 30p a bar.
so you can put the whole faux-stuck up regime to bed now kiddo

barely tastes any different, its only chocolate

>>67145946
whatevs the CPU is the cheapest part

>>67145947
because when ever she gets asked about contradictions she says "new information came to light"

>>67145913
same thing with brexit
odds aren't just calculated on probality but on the value of bets already placed

people had out huge sums on remain (and hillary) early on

What's your favourite colour, lads?

I'm drawn to blue

>>67145988
Nah, just trying to stop being such a fat shit

Gonna go back to the reasonable calorie deficit and exercise tomorrow but fasting for a day ought to take the edge off the excesses of the weekend

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>>67146025
Green

>>67145947
not wasting a click on any of this.
Rubbish.

>>67146025
the most functional colour is black
so I suppose it's that

>>67146025
Green > everything 2bh

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>not wasting a click on any of this.
>Rubbish.

>Yanks unironically vote using electronic machines

You don't have to wear a tin foil hat to find that shit extremely open to potential rigging or foul play. What the fuck is wrong with you yanks? What ever happened to a good old fashioned paper and pen?

>>67146025
blue is the most versatile colour

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>>67146025
purple desu

>>67146067
people on the front need to eat too x

>>67146032
Fair enough, can't fault that.
Wish I could be similarly disciplined.

Reckon the US has much of a shy voter effect?

Obviously here the Conservatives normally do a bit better in elections than on polling 'cause people find it embarrassing to say that they're planning on voting for them, so I wonder if Trump'll have any shy voters.

Also, I wonder if a high Latino turnout will make up for an apparently extremely low black turnout.

>>67146098
lel just stop being fat its not hard

if anything being fat is hard work

>>67146110
depends on the state

>>67146025
beige

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odB1wWPqSlE

>>67146032
Get plenty of water, lad
If you had an excessive weekend, you're probably retaining a lot of water to make up for all the excess salt
Drink plenty today and your body will respond well - helps stave off the hunger too

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Lads, do you talk to any internet cuties on skype?

I'd like to hear your stories.

>>67146076
Remember when brexiters literally thought that the vote counters would rub out their vote if they used pencil?

>Christ, half these votes have are covered in rubber shavings and have a clear impression of an X for the opposite vote

>>67146116
wonder than Twerń means

>>67146110
Piers Morgan asked someone this question on Good Morning Britain this morning but he called them "Silent Trumpers"

>>67146110
Nah Yanks have no restraint or filter. The people who support Trump are always loud and proud about it. Pretty sure the polls are fairly correct

In this country, UKIP supporters say they vote Labour or Tory. Some Tory supporters even say they vote LibDem

Reckon we've got Thatcher to blame for making conservatism unpopular

>>67146164
wasn't there literal video proof of a black woman erasing a ballot

>>67146110
jo cox was shot before the referendum
the potential of shy brexit voting was much higher than shy trump voting

>>67146130
>lel just stop being fat its not hard
>if anything being fat is hard work

It's a lot easier to stop yourself becoming fat in the first place than it is to lose weight once you're already fat.

You've fucked all your leptin and ghrelin sensitivity so you feel disproportionately hungry, and it takes a long while for it to reset.

Something like 98% of obese people who lose enough weight to become a healthy weight will be back at their original weight within a year

Morning

>>67146130
I'm lanky tall I eat what I like, I don't get fat. I eat crap though. Diet could be improved.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4KJ4lSq8XA
bluegrass tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPUjOJ6YPYY

just uploaded this lads

>>67146239
American weather

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>>67146239
good morning leaf

i requested an early voting ballot a long ass time ago because the RNC kept pestering me to do it but then i found out you could just vote in person early anyways so i did that. now i'm looking at my voter history and it says where i have requested an absentee ballot and it was approved, but it doesn't have anything on my voter history. pretty sure the RNC jewed me out of voting for trump

>>67146187
Maybe one example of a fucking idiot in an isolated incident, but it would literally be the most time consuming, most obvious and least conspicuous method of vote rigging in history.

If the vote counters were cheating all they'd need to do is lie about the votes or dispose of some of the votes.

>>67146158
used to when I was younger
was very close with this one girl, she still calls from time to time but rare enough that its always a shock when she does

>>67146239
Ari Canuck.

>>67146296
How old are you now?

>>67146158
spoke with shitloads of girls online tbf, have many a story (none of which ends with success, though)

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>most people born in 2000 are now over the age of consent

>American ballots are written in several languages

kek

Don't really give a fuck about immigrants in America but if you can't speak English you really shouldn't be voting

https://twitter.com/EricTrump/status/795958105343463424

>>67146320
23, we spoke a lot during late A-levels and the summer between uni. Last text her a few months back.

>>67146328
Tell us a cringe story lad

>>67146025
Red.

It's the colour of blood and being the lonely twisted antihero that I am it's the colour that best fits me.

Trump is a Racist Misogynist™

>>67146350
wtf I hate the passage of time now

very smelly desu

>>67146328
>(none of which ends with success, though)
surprise, fucking surprise

>>67146158
Between the ages of 12 and 15 I was pulling nudes from women for fun. I have an entire inbox dedicated to nudes from birds I met online. Two actually, one for straight women and one for curious/lesbos.

>>67146356

>Mandarian
>being cucked by CHYNA

JUST.

>>67146158
not really Skype but I was essentially an online Chad for a while. would flirt and have chats with girls from tinder, omegle, kik, quite regularly. every so often got nudes

didn't lose my actual virginity till i was 18 though

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Hmmmm.... Ah, yes.

And your thoughts?

>>67146383
scrub yer pits
put smelly shit on

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>>67146350
>everyone mocks a guy at work because he's never had a girlfriend as long as he's been there
>I've now been there for three years
>never had a gf
>people are starting to notice

>>67146423
needs some clearasil

imagine a world where she didn't cancel on me

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Rate my wife

>>67146423
get in at ground zero, suggest some heavy duty skin cream, wait 4 months for solid 7 gf

>>67146158
Used to talk to some fairly attractive Russian girl on Skype (it was actually through /int/ that we started talking) maybe 4 or so years ago, and then I realised that she was richer than me and so she wouldn't be my mail order bride and stopped talking to her

>>67146423
v pretty

desperately searching for the key to happiness

>>67145971
not gonna lie
i enjoyed this post

>>67146423
Really not bothered by acne for some reason.

>>67146423
Get her on roacutane

Which also has the benefit of having to be co-prescribed with the pill

>>67146437
just tell them you're gay

>>67146423
She's outstanding looking.

Not quite fond of Hillary

>>67146497
hers is bad but I usually don't care

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>>67145971

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwlzbpzyFdE

Just uploaded this

>>67146509
Misogynist

>>67146504
>being gay
>in a warehouse full of men
>three of them are open about being hooligans
>one guy goes to EDL marches "for the fights"
Your plan has flaws

>>67146350
just deal with it seriously

time has to move on

>>67146548
Post Jay boipussy

>>67146566
just coz you say you're gay doesn't mean you have to a be a pansie m8

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>>67146453
>fleur de lis

Are electoral college votes all or nothing?

Like, if someone wins a state do they get all the votes for that state, are they split proportionately between the candidates, or does it work out as a regional first past the post system?

>>67146566
>>one guy goes to EDL marches "for the fights"
sounds like a top lad

>>67146566
well ur gunna have to plunge some clunge then

Got the acoustic guitar out again lads, has anyone got any requests?

>>67146369
none that are really cringe, more often than not it always ends the same. we talk for a few weeks, run out of things to say, then i get drunk and purge my contact list. sometimes they message me saying "what the fuck"
it's really more depressing tbf

>>67146601

Tug me off and ill tell you

>>67146620
smack my bitch up

>>67146609
He's genuinely called Dean too

might get an interpals account and become an online playboy

>>67146620
tristesse by chopin

I have a request. Glass yourself.

>>67146620
classical gas

*BRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

imagine if I got this job
would be so happy

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How would you lads react?

>>67146734
like matey on the bottom left

How do people like Milo and Ben Shapiro have such high bantz/minute when they talk? Bit jelly about that ngl

>>67146566
Nobody cares about lads being into lads anymore, just a fucking thing. You're more interesting tbf, not different but Jim Jeffries ah yeah gay guy coming. Cool. Least you're not a lesbian. Pictionary.. she's drawing something political. faak

>>67146734
no idea what this is tbhq

>>67146734
Whip my nob out.

>>67146785
Are you disabled?

>>67146775
high verbal IQ
very common amongst the chosen people

>>67146794
They humiliated him at a Frogshow on tv

>>67146775
>Milo
Cocaine

>Shapiro
High functioning autism

Fuck sake lads

Tempted to get a subway now

Time for another fag

>>67146794
Jonah Hill 'cancels all interviews in France' after comedian 'ridicules' him with sexual fantasy joke

'I’m glad I came to this show to get ridiculed by a local weather girl,' the actor says

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jonah-hill-cancels-french-press-ornella-fleury-sexual-fantasy-war-dogs-a7290371.html

>>67146838
Are you victimizing me?

>>67146785
I think we're getting away from the part where I'm not gay.

Do normies watch election results at the pub?

>>67146871
wait 'til tomorrow when they bring out the Festive Feast

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>>67146775
they're just assholes

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>having his granny's publicist issue a statement that is two pages of "p-pls stop being mean t-to my gf"

And this was the lad who was supposed to lead the New Crusade against the Saracens?

bought a 13.5 tog duvet today lads

>>67146849
Milo is Catholic though, I do like to believe verbal Iq is a thing that can be increased though

>>67146860
>>67146949

Maybe, but they are both brilliant in what they do

>>67146874

LITERALLY cannot handle the bants. it was not even that bad

>>67146874
Thought being the butt of jokesabout his appearance in pretty much all his films would have left him with a fairly thick skin tbqh

Maybe the fact that he's having to have it translated to him while everyone laughs at him is the factor

>>67146979
7.5 is my limit. Bed runner when it's chilly

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>>67146984
>Milo is Catholic

>>67146964
A prince should be able to do better than that anyway 2bh
William had the right idea

>>67146984
>Milo is Catholic
>while being a giant bender
seems like a conflict of interests

*tangos into /brit/ with the missus*
alri lads

>>67147034
>Bed runner
posh twat

>>67146964
>was supposed to lead the New Crusade against the Saracens?

Nobody thought this

>>67146984
Milo is an opportunist and a disingenuous liar.

>>67146964
Leave the boy alone

His dad's not his dad, his mum was a hoor and he's thicker than two short planks of wood put together

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/3150649.stm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/may/10/schools.alevels2004

>literally having to cheat in your A-levels to get into the army

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>>67147043
Decent rack, but I'm not happy about this potentially being our first darkie royal

>>67147064
fuck off mate it's just a lump of fabric.
Just what it's called.

Is Milo still a thing?

>>67147120
you're a lump of fabric you fucking jeb end

>>67147087
With a high bantz rate. That's what I like about him

>>67147124
Read an article on the alt-right on BBC rn

>>67147124
Prefer Ovaltine 2bh

>>67147057
*has a look at your missus*
might have a crack at that later on

>>67147124
Seeing as The Mask came out in 1994, I doubt it

>>67147108
>our first darkie royal

won't happen. they're dating not engaged, the royals would never let him marry the lower classes class let alone a povvo background (compared to the royals) american TV actress

>>67147146
you'll get my lump of toe in your arse

>>67147169
Wills married a pikey though

>>67147124
nah, that tranny whatever was beaten into submission so hard she never recovered

>>67147108
>our first darkie royal
>inb4 she gets Diana'd

>>67147169
Kate Middleton's mum was a trolley dolley

>dark skinned royals
hmmm yeh this could be just what we need to make rorkes republicans

>>67147157
hahah yea sure got another one out the back anyway hahahahaa

>>67146984
americans are so gullible

>>67147197
Middletons aren't aristocrats but they weren't poor either, fuck they met at St Andrews

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>>67147201

>>67147019
Apparently he's pretty insecure in general, keeps telling people he's worked with Scorsese, he's a serious actor etc.

>>67147004
You know what they say about Americans and banter, if he just laughed it off, and/or said I don't blame you, absolutely no one outside of France would have known about the dig he got

>>67147197
The Middletons, while social climbing scum, are at least presentable though

Still hilarious when you hear about how fucking desperate the family are to milk the royal connection for absolutely everything its worth

>hey guys! throw a party for every minor royal event and buy all your supplies from us!

Pippa's telegraph column almost gave me a stroke

>>67147241
Ari Kazakhlad?

>looks at clock
>15:17
>waits half an hour
>15:24
COME ON

>>67147257
She aplies the day after it was confirmed that's where Wills was going. Her parents basically groomed her to appeal to him and then whored her out so they could be part of the aristocracy. Then they didn't even get the title they expected

>>67147091
Didn't he fly an apache though
I know royals get preferential treatment in the forces but i don't imagine they let retards fly those things

I just received a call from my mother in Florida and her story reeks of voter fraud. She goes to the polls this morning, and they take her license into the back and tell her she's not registered at this location. She calls her official and they reassure her she is. So eventually they find her in the system and when she goes to vote they say "Oh, you've already voted." She HAS NOT VOTED!! So one of two things has happed.

>The lady who took her ID in the back and said she wasn't registered voted for her

>Hillary's army thought she wouldn't vote and sent a drone to vote in her place

After all this she got a "provisional ballot" and I have no fucking idea what that means. It honestly sounds like they're just brushing her off.

>>67147315
A LOT of claims but no links to be found
Hmmm.....

>>67147279
wouldn't mind Pippa giving my column a stroke tbf

>>67147236
hahaha

Which one of you lads is this?

https://twitter.com/Sporf/status/795969067056328704

>everyone I know is voting for Trump so he'll win
the state of /pol/

>>67147325
Posting this on /pol/

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>>67147091
Even Prince William is a spacker desu

>got an A grade in geography, a B in history of art and a C in biology at A-level
>went to study History of Art at St Andrews

Don't understand how they can be so thick with all the oppurtunities they get.

Yo

gurt

>>67147406
It's spelt FOY

>>67147521

>>67147324
>>67147324
>Goes to Eton
>Gets a D in geography and a B in art with cheating

Nah, you'd have to be close to retarded for that.
The amount of support and quality of teaching you get in the public schools is ridiculous.

Apparently they'll let a spastic pilot one as long as they've got blue blood - it's pretty competitive normally and you'd need some background in physics at least

>>67147530
too early you autist

Fancy a cheeky nando's tibih lads