/brit/

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/balt/

just opened the window and some farts came in ughh :(

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You will never be as alpha as lembit

why are Scots so delusional

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lads

fanny

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me getting off the bus

>>66153521
it's all they've got

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Lembit Opik would steal your gf, if you had one

>>66153519
me on the right

>>66153537
where is this from?

>>66153449
fuck sakes this is so grim

>>66153432
>>66153457
Packet pasta

lithuania out

might go buy a £1 vibrator from poundland and put it in my arse desu

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>>66153449
Britbongs, free Scotland the Brave
Now

>>66153560
howling hahahahahahaha

*plays a sinister synth line*

trump will win
there's nothing you little shits can do about it

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>b-but I lift
You don't need to lift when you're this alpha

>>66153568
pics

business idea: coffee mixed with tea

>>66153570
*sends more arms to the Indian army*

>>66153545
That's why I don't have one. I realise the futility of trying to compete with Lembit Opik.

>>66153545
me on the left

#marmitegate

>>66153553
wish I knew

>>66153589
haven't bought it yet have i

>>66153591
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuanyang_(drink)

As always, the chinks got there first

Gimmick idea: we tell eachother about last night's dream
last nights one:
>girl i fancy a bit and have known for years is hosting a party
>i'm invited and go, have a good time
>she says i can stay the night
>I end up in bed with her, she asks if i mind if she gets naked
>I don't mind. I get hard
>she absolutely covers both of us in lube (like 2 litres of it) and nearly starts riding me
>"can you get fully hard first?" (I was, she was calling my willy small)
>she suggests doggy, i say no cos I know i would cum too fast
>she tells me to fuck off
woke up very sad

>>66153584
To be fair, I was surprised when the Tories won in 2015, u was surprised by brexit as well. But if Trump wins I will genuinely be flabbergasted

>>66153611
you're a fucking tease aren't you lad

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>tfw just banzai'd some american runts for the glory of the emperor
I died but it was worth it to hear the scream as I plunged the bayonet into the weak yank

>packet pasta

runt-levels are getting dangerous

>>66153627
I had a dream where I was falling and screaming then I was grabbing my head and screaming more

I have this every night

send help

>>66153627
FOBP

>>66153605
hey yank can i stay at your place for 3 months. I'll pay you.

>>66153627
I haven't had a dream for about 2 years, how do I force my brain to do them?

>>66153627
Shan't be reading a word of this post

>>66153614
Well hurry up

>>66153627
Howling

>>66153627
i never have sexy dreams :(

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Having a brandy and diet coke, lads.
Will probably go shopping in a bit.
Just thought you'd like an update.

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This man goes up to your gf in a bar and treats her the way she expects as a woman in the 21st century, what do you do?

>>66153629
he's already won

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>>66153627
>>tfw just banzai'd some american runts for the glory of the emperor
>I died but it was worth it to hear the scream as I plunged the bayonet into the weak yank

The hard Brexiteers are preparing excuses for the coming chaos by blaming Remainer wreckers and saboteurs

>>66153597
Straya being a Cunt

>>66153667
Get them every now and then and they're fucking shit desu, always wake up just before climax

>>66153634
its so lewd

>>66153627
Dreamt that I forced my gfs mate to give me a blowwie. Her reluctance was a massive turn on and because it wasn't real there was no gag reflex which was just lovely

Can't see much potential in the Lembit gimmick.

got very drunk last night and watched the new Planet Earth trailer and cried my eyes out like a fucking woman

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>>66153650
my mum buys it for me

>>66153636
>not being a proud anglo man and scorching jap roaches

paki

>>66153627
had a dream where i went to lick a girls fanny and asked her when was the last time she'd showered

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all me

>>66153683
very strange dream

>let me tell you about this dream i had

oh how interesting
*walks off and talks to someone else*

>>66153687
fuck off paki

>>66153449
http://www.itv.com/news/2016-10-14/nicola-sturgeon-scotlands-financial-deficit-no-barrier-to-eu-membership/
haha

@66153712
good post

got very drunk last night and hit on the barmaid at my favourite pub
wasn't pretty
don't think I'll be going to that pub again

>*walks off and talk-

ahh yes
*walks off and talks to someone else*

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http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475932395775.webm

>>66153717
America was full desu
sometimes its fun to be a nip though they have good camouflage for sneaking

//66153750
why did you @ me you little shit

>>66153634
never mind lad, its XV940

>Today on telly for 2 hours on a saturday afternoon: women's road cycling

Ah yes, did the woman push the pedal? Did the motorcycle ride in front of the pack? Did they do the set number of laps of the circuit? Ah excellent, jolly good. Cracking use of the ol' television licence, riveting stuff.

>>66153755
didn't watch

don't @ me

it goes down in the DMs

>>66153776
I like how I can put this straight into google desu

good lad

you've redeemed yourself

>>66153786
didn't read

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just sent this to the gf x

You lads watching the footy?

@66153791
twat

>>66153770
desu i never do rising storm, stalingrad just seems much more of a tactical and ordered battlefield, rising storm is just fucking nips sprinting around everywhere getting gunned down with nowhere to hide because youre in a jungle with no cover

@66153775
seemed appropriate desu lad
the post was good

>>66153801
x

>>66153801
he needs to be more confident

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>>66153755

>>66153801
x

>>66153801
sometimes i pity myself but then i realise im not him

>>66153800
didn't care

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Rate my webm

press 1 if you would ride my wet cock

>>66153818
I think RO is better because both sides have bolt actions
in RS the yanks just slaughter all the zipperheads with semi autos

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Unsure whether to buy this lads

Can't work out whether it looks like an Argos watch or not

>>66153859
>blinds closed with sunglasses on
Jaysus it must have been fairly fucking sunny.

>>66153651
used to get this all the time, apparently one of the causes can be if you temporarily stop breathing in your sleep and then you get a massive adrenaline rush which makes you panic in your dream. Go to a doctor about it la

>>66153859
JAHANS

IS

EVOLVING

>>66153860
>1463359343822-1.jpg
dont think that's you lad

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*puts kettle on*

>>66153860
haha the lighting makes it look like you've got a willy

>>66153755
My grandad had similar issues after Vietnam, it's pretty sad desu. Don't think he had a full nights sleep for decades

>>66153859
Hes off his rocker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nrwaRnZ1eM

@66153885
1

Cromwell didn't go far enough 2bh

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*puts kettle on*

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>>66153911
>he doesn't boil the water in the microwave

>>66153936
he only had to kill gooks though

All my dreams ever consist of are situations where I drown, fall, get chased / killed by someone or kill someone myself

Weird

I opened my window so my room wouldn't stink of farts so much but the fucking neighbours are out the back smoking and it's wafting in

>>66153627
>go to party
>ends up being broken up by police
>qt girl police officer
>convince her to stay and party while her partner gets mad
>we dance and have fun
>she talks about how much fun she's had
>asks me why I haven't asked her out yet and asks why I'm too afraid to ever make a move
>heart beating as I ask her out
>she looks at me and opens her mouth to respond
>wake up

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh yes great way to start the day

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>>66153954
>>66153957

>people unironically boil the water in the microwave
what the ACTUAL fuck
are microwaves the only available appliance on the runt farm?

many of my dreams involve being naked in a public place and trying my best to avoid people finding out

think it has something to do with my general feelings of anxiety x

>>66153984
Why would you have a kettle unless you're making tea 10 times a day. Microwave and a coffee maker are more useful

>Irish people going on a hunger strike
Hmmm....

>>66153998
lad put some clothes on for christs sake

>>66153911
But you didn't check inside the kettle first. If you had done then you would have noticed something, settled gently atop of the cool water inside. In your haste to boil the water you overlooked it. And now, as the water vigorously boils and bubbles at a scorching 100ºC my very own wrinkled ballsack is scalded to oblivion within the confines of your piping hot kettle.

>>66153984
Only yanks do that as far as I'm aware

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http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475762484922.webm

>>66153982
with my extensive experience as an alternative amateur psychologicist i have determined you want to fuck your mother

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>get back from gym
>feel like having a cheeky wank
>mum calls me
>suddenly don't feel like wanking anymore

>>66153998
Sounds more like you've got a secret that you're terrified of people discovering, hun x

>>66154000
We have experience lad. Something you can't put on your CV eh? waheeey.

last night we had a small flat party, then security turned up and said we had half an hour to get everyone to fuck off. So right before security turned up again some fucking runts started smoking weed in our flat. Really looking forward to getting fined for this, lads.

>>66153998
ALWAYS had dreams about naked in public and being embarrassed when I was a child

>>66154028
based mum saving you from degeneracy

>>66154016
such a load of shite
I'm pretty far right but white nationalist have the worst propaganda

>>66154039
Might have to wank to this

>>66154028
She knew what you were doing

>>66154036
what bizarro land do you live in where "security" turns up to your flat party?

>>66154087
halls

Had a 50p own brand pot noodle earlier

Thinking I might go and get 3 for £1 while they're on offer

>>66154036
>fined

Think you mean expelled lad. Oh well, plenty of time to get your UCAS application ready for next year.

>>66154039
obvious trap

>>66154039
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEV3PWNMjLA

>>66154039
No underwear ribena? how lewd.

>>66154087
t. too stupid to go to university

>>66153801
fucking wew

>>66154087
uni halls

>>66154120
to*

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>>66154036
>party
>calls people runts for smoking weed

I bet that party was BANGING........

Product Idea: Worlds smallest dildo

>>66154144
ummmmm

>>66153663
ok

>>66154152
just use your dick for the mold mate

Soccer Saturday, Final Score or BT Sport Score?

>>66154146
just wish they would do it outside

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>This photo has not been altered
Dat forehead

>>66154169
mould*

>>66154191
>anime

>>66154185
bit gay

>>66154185
VERY gay

I'd like to see more bums though desu

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>>66154191
>>66154205

>>66154185
bit gay

>>66154076
its from that new kike film with harry potter in it so its not real you melt

>reasons to live

oh yeah definitely have them haha lots in fact yeah plenty

>>66154222
She looks clever

How do we rid /brit/ of degenerates?

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>>66154144

>>66154253
first, remove the gays

>>66154218
>>66154220
>>66154227
not gay. has rainbow socks

>>66154222
Haha alri megamind

>>66154253
Gas the Pakis and their collaborators and tear down every mosque in Europe

>>66154253
Set yourself on fire

>>66154253
ban all leave voters

>>66154253
You go to brit/pol/

>>>/pol/brit

62k avios lads

you?

What does happiness feel like, lads?

>>66154102
You're not gonna get kicked out of uni for having a party and smoking some weed you mong. They'll sit you down, probably with a copper present, and give you a formal warning to scare the shit out of you into never doing it again

t. Used to shot a bit of weed in halls

I love English ppl, they are very special ppl 2bh

God's ppl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niJtpcgtUQs

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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-10-15/afp-seizes-4-million-mdma-tablets-in-sydney-raid/7935686
>Police have charged two Polish men in connection with the seizure of 1.2 tonnes of drugs in Sydney — the biggest haul in the country this year.

Fucking Poles are a worldwide menace, might have to get the boys around and go on patrol

>>66154228
how was I supposed to know that?

>>66154287
a warm gun

>stop eating junk food for a week
>OHP goes down by 5kg

WHAT HAVE I DONE? It's going to take weeks to get that back

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>>66154282
>Avios
I like using Chase rewards better, pic related

>3 days for that jav to download

just end it all lads

>>66154312
>he's an anti-drug poofter
if everyone did shrooms and weed at least once in their life, the world would be a more peaceful place

>>66154312
fucking hell that's a lot of pingas

Reminder that only pakis hate poles

>>66154309
went to shit after take me out

>>66154287
The 2 milliseconds you feel of the bullet entering your temple.

>>66154295
If you are caught breaking the law (the real law, not "uni laws") in halls you will definitely be expelled. Any decent rustlers-group uni will have that clause built into their accommodation agreement which you have to sign. They'll boot you out and get to keep the full year's costs payable.

>>66154349
Alri Jacek, hard day scrubbing shit off toilets?

>>66154320
better do a few hours of research before responding to one of my posts ever again you cretinous melt

>>66154309
>that irrelevant band no one has cared about for 10 years made a song calling trump a meany
oh fuck lads... don't know how he'll recover from this

doing a wank

>>66154312
guess you could say they're a menace from pole to pole haha

selected ambient works 85-92 lads

>>66154287
It's an incredible high, but temporary and when you try to do the same thing again you don't get the same feeling of happiness. It's like heroin.

>did plenty of drugs, parties and shit at uni halls
>security never once cared

ah yes, former polytechnics

>>66154343
dude drugs lmao

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just got off the phone lads

my dad's officially on death's door and i am too much of an autistic shit person to leave my room and go see him

he is going to die remembering me as a failure son

>>66154343
dude drugs lmao

>>66154349
don't hate poles per se, really like poland and polish culture

do not like filthy lazy foreign criminals and chavs

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>>66154386
Oh yeah?

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the car is on fire... and there is no driver at the wheel.

>>66154412
>>66154425
great minds

wtf France

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-QaGzenEaQ&feature=youtu.be

>>66154343
dude drugs lmao

>>66154406
How do you think the drugs got there m8? Penniless students bringing them in or the fat retard on minimum wage who somehow drives an Audi?

>>66154423
You fucking what

>>66154423
go and see him you pathetic little cunt

>SWANSHIT

>>66154390
need some help? x

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ah yes the ""great"" barrier reef very impressive

>>66154380
alri rasheed, hard day of smelling like a toilet?

>>66154450
prostate camcer

>>66154441
reckon i could heem every single one of those grass-eating lads

>>66154461
United Sharts of America haha

>>66154473
Really couldn't give a toss 2bh

>>66154423
absolute runt

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the gf

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>>66154382
reminded me of this kek

>>66154490
should have listened to the advert lad

>>66154438
fools never differ

>>66154511
quintessentially british

>>66154511
>dark lipstick
>light skin

umm no sweetie xxx

>>66154511
>supreme
>starbucks


bin her sharpish

>>66154441
I'd probably get cattle branded if it meant I'd get a go with the qt at 0:30 desu

literally everyone else has more romantic and sexual experience than me. even my old neckbeard mate who's been neet since 18 had a gf once.

bit of a grim realisation that

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Doing a chill with the bird.

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the gf

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>Ireland will reunite in your lifetime

Bird wanker loves his fucking bird

Messaging the Polish girls, how's this?

>I had my misconduct hearing at the university on Wednesday, got the feeling they're going to kick me out. Is there any chance you could possibly vouch for me?

>>66154454
but i have not left my house in 8 months. i am a fucking shit failure neet with social anxiety. i want to go and see him so badly. but i am terrified of leaving my house

>>66154532
>Londoners consider this paki to be light-skinned
HOWLING

think I'll go for a walk, maybe a pint on the pub on the hill too hehe

>>66154321
>>66154362
Sounds encouraging. ;_;

>>66154581
ask your mum to come pick you up if she can

do not converse with it

>>66154550
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENnAa7rqtBM

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the gf

>>66154473
The Great Barrier Reef, polar bears, pandas, tigers and other endagered animals all rely on a very narrow habitat, any slight change will cause them to go extinct. Plenty of animals get along just fine around humans and tiny temperature changes.

>>66154588
Pics of your adventure :3

Control yourself

>>66154582
She's in Paris you parochial runt.

>>66154607
When did Elle Fanning get BLACKED?

>SWANSHIT

>>66154582
>londoner

umm try again sweetie

also the person in the photo looks light skinned

>>66154550
I have only ever had sex with one girl over a 3 month period 12 years ago.

Are you a virgin?

>>66154569
There are people who think Ireland will unite just so Norn can stay in the EU.

I'm an endangered animal, scientists NEED to put me on a breeding programme

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>>66154569
feels good lad.

https://arxiv.org/pdf/1610.03452v1.pdf

wtf i hate /pol/ now

>>66154564
fat cow lol

>>66154607
wish she didn't bleach her hair to make herself look nordic or something, it's pathetic and embarrassing lmao just goes to show the depths of her insecurity stupid cunt

>>66154624
PARIS?
A
R
I
S
?
>>66154630
cucks gtfo

>>66154641
every individual is an endangered species if you think about it... there is only one of every person on this planet

really, REALLY makes you think

>>66154637
>I have only ever had sex with one girl over a 3 month period 12 years ago.
Are you me?

>>66154645
HOWLING

Remember the runts that used to pass the parcel really slowly

>>66154624
Didn't mention where she was from, Rasheed, I was talking about the lad who called her light-skinned
>>66154634
Statistically this poster is not white

>>66154511
>supreme

biggest meme going

>>66154678
I'm pretty sure there's like 30,000 of every nigger though

>>66154709
I'm not from London.
I'm white.

Stop being a retard

Am i suppose to put im trans on my tinder profile?

>>66154637
yeah lol

>>66154645
fucking yanks

/brit/ told me my life would become good if I voted for brexit
I STILL don't have a gf
what is going on?

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>ched evans is a rapist

>>66154732
yes

>>66154739
3" willy lad?

might do the lottery lads

do you think I'll win?

>>66154763
nah

3" self esteem

>>66154732
put the gender you want to identify as

I never understand why a lot of trannies specifically identify as trans, and not as a woman or a man. It just comes across as stupid and as if they're trying to make their sex/gender/whatever a core part of their identity

>>66154700
It's crazy how seriously they take it
>>66154752
All of those "researchers" are affiliated with European universities

>>66154759
cant i just tell them in msgs

>>66154782
70% of winners are first time players, so your odds are pretty good

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>Londoners consider this girl to be a pale, fair-skinned maiden
SCREAMING

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just found this on my sister's computer

should i be worried?

>>66154786
well if im fucking someone, surely they should know ive got a dick? i am a girl but like i dont wanna get shanked

>POOSENAL

>>66154796
the fuck

>>66154792
as long as you say straight away I guess thats ok

still wasting peoples time a bit if they aren't into 'that'

>>66154796
what an absolute horror show of a rig

>>66154683
Are you one of life's great failures?

>>66154728
Light skinned black person perhaps

Not light skinned in general

>>66154830
>surely they should know ive got a dick
yeah. Put trans in your tinder bio, should let people know before you fuck them

>>66154830
Add it as a footnote then.

Don't go flaming about like a bloody queen by putting "PROUD AND OUTLOUD TRANSTESTICLE"

>>66154796
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nrwaRnZ1eM

>>66154812
still surprised that game got so popular despite aggressively offending every law of human conduct known to man

Frenchwomen are for British men exclusively.

>>66154847
alright, will do that

>>66154863
god no, im stealth at uni for a reason

>>66154862
right

>>66154802
won £20 the first time and nothing since lmao

>>66154786
Because it's better to say they're a trans girl than call themselves a proper girl, get in bed with a lad and end up being strangled to death when the bloke feels something odd brushing against them

six weeks into #winterbulk2016 and I'm already beginning to just look fat
not sure I can keep this up

>>66154870

File: 160205_WM_Barratt_MercuryPlace_860x484.jpg (88KB, 860x484px) Image search: [Google]

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>pull up to my Barratt bew build home with my 25 year fixed rate mortage in my grey Audi A3 on finance after a hard days work as deputy assistant head of sales targeting
>open the boot and take out my River Island and Superdry bags with the new gear I bought on the way home from work
>open the door
>yell hello to my wife of 2-years in the kitchen as she is already home from her work as a Team Leader in a call centre
>sit down on my leather sofa bought on sale at Sofology (haha I love those adverts, what is that sloth like haha, love sloths me)
>put up my feet on the IKEA table
>whap on the telly and tune in just in time to see Bradders going through the rules of the final chase with the contestants who made it through before they face Anne Hegarty
>perfect timing as my wife comes in with the dinner, another one of Jamie Oliver's cracking 30 minute meals
>tuck in as I pretend to listen to my wife's stories from her day at work
>send a cheeky snap to Smithster and Deano to see if they can come round for the champions league match later to watch it on the ol' Sony Bravia, maybe sneak in a few rounds of Fifa '17 on the PS4 first, bloody Smithster ignoring the rule of no tap-ins what a melt haha

>>66154640
It won't be the reason, but it'll be a catalyst. Like how the 1916 Rising isn't the reason Ireland got independence but it was the catalyst.

>>66154920
did NOT read Tbh

Stop replying to it

>>66154908
bulking is an incredibly dated fucking thing to do literally why are you being a retard

>>66154920
shan't be reading a syllable of this

File: pale londoners.jpg (84KB, 634x423px) Image search: [Google]

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Look at these fair-skinned European men I found in our nation's capital city

>>66154907
>Because it's better to say they're a trans girl than call themselves a proper girl, get in bed with a lad and end up being strangled to death when the bloke feels something odd brushing against them
Let's be honest here for a second.

What you've just described
NEVER
and I mean it
NEVER
happens.

You can tell if someone's a tranny. There's always something "off" about them. The brain's very good at this.

You always see stories where people actually fall for it, but usually those people are absolute runt-tier eejits who don't have two braincells to rub together.

It's really not a concern

time to marinate tonight's chicken

>>66154966
t. tranny rapist

>>66154920
fuck me la, this is depressing

File: 1457383566652.webm (692KB, 720x404px) Image search: [Google]

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>>66154920

File: Poleaboo Face.jpg (449KB, 972x1296px) Image search: [Google]

449KB, 972x1296px

>>66154966
Reminder that Amir thinks he could pass

Hope Everton win lads

>>66154960
>>66154805
take your meds you bloody schizoid

>>66154955
>eating at a surplus to put on muscle mass is an incredibly dated thing to do

>>66154966
you say that but i have genuinely been to a party and made out with someone who didnt know and the people i study with dont either, can tell because they always call me ciscum and say im a cis white girl and should check my priviledge

>>66154920
isn't the average British home smaller than that in the pic?

>>66155014
IT'S JUST A BAD PIC

LASER AND LONG HAIR WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

>>66154986
hehe gonna marinate ye mum's chicken tonight lad

>>66155014
God damn he is one ugly mother fucker

>>66154920
Grim

>>66155040
>>66155040
>>66155040
>>66155040
>>66155040
>>66155040
>>66155040

>>66154920
fucking so annoyed right now fuck you

Who designs our bank notes?

>>66155014
runitcus maximus

>>66154812
really makes you think

>>66155035
I can always tell

maybe I'm just an expert

>>66154920
ace post lad

>>66155032
>lets be a fatfuck and eat 5000 calories a day for literally no reason. no need to moderate a surplus

get fucked fatty you're a moron. it's not a bulk if you look like a sphere at the end

>>66154782
>lottery
spotting runts 101
an idiot who wins £100 in the lottery will spend it on £100 worth of lottery tickets

>>66155092
you probably seen loads of us on 4chan and places, most people never even met a transgirl before let alone can tell the difference

>>66155035
why do they do that

I thought that was a meme

haven't showered or moved since around 5am

>>66155229
they are reddit users. literally. i'm just gonna snap one day and tell them to shut the fuck up unless they want to see a girl dick

Jesus Christ

https://imgur.com/a/SzDGq